sEXyMOfo: Deconstructing Mormonism, Overcoming Repression, and Healing Religous Trauma (ExMormon)

It’s a common question in all ExMormon spaces: “how can I stop my child from joining the Mormon church?” These parents may not be ExMormons, but they belong in our community, and I feel a personal obligation to help those who are teenagers investigating the church — like I once was. In this episode, I discuss my own personal story, how Mormon missionaries court teenagers, and my best advice for navigating this difficult time. In this episode, I speak to both the teenagers and the parents who are concerned for them. I strongly suggest parents listen to the episode first before deciding if it is appropriate to share. Please understand sharing things like this often just feeds the seed planted by the church that they are a persecuted faith and adversity means they are on the right path. I also discuss how joining the church stunted my development and what I suggest for helping your child remember who they are NOW if they do join the church so they can become themselves again when they deconstruct.

To celebrate the New Year, Ella Boleynn explores the process of finding yourself after leaving the church. Join Ella as she explores the most important goal that every ExMormon should have -- getting in touch with who they really are. Topics discussed include: the difficulty of deconstructing and finding yourself after leaving the Mormon church confronting the reality of life and ourselves the anonymous post that inspired this episode where someone states "I feel like I missed out on so much... I lived the way people told me to live... I feel cheated out of life." mourning wasted time, sunk costs, and the lost opportunities of youth the conveyor belt of the Mormon church finding yourself while juggling parenting and marriage not feeling guilty for prioritizing your joy and needs How to Survive an Existential Crisis and Why Survival Isn't Enough (read the full blog post on Ella's blog) common questions after a faith transition when the relationship won't survive the faith transition claiming the life you want NOW unpacking the pain of lying to yourself about your sexuality rediscovering yourself by looking back on your childhood taking time to do the things you enjoy making yourself do the things that used to bring you joy even if you have no desire to do them now the power of going outside and laying in the grass call for stories about reclaiming your identity, career, passions, and joy after leaving the church don't be better; be you living boldly to make up for lost time

Meet Angie, an ally betrayed. Angie has been distanced from the church for awhile, but her now ex-husband was deeply embedded, serving as a bishop in their ward and working for years as a therapist with LDS Family Services. He blamed her faith transition and her lack of interest in sex for the problems in their marriage and never spoke up in support the many times she loudly took issue with the church’s stances on homosexuality. So imagine her surprise when her husband of 23 years told her he wanted a divorce — coming out of the closet and confessing to years of infidelity in one roller coaster of an evening. Listen as Angie goes back through the events of that evening and the painful episodes before and after that led to her newfound freedom. As a longtime ally, her pain is a particularly poignant reminder of the collateral damage caused to so many spouses of those who are closeted. Connect with Ella Boleynn online: https://livinginretrospect.com/my-links/

The Mormon church has been undergoing a massive rebranding effort ever since 2018 when they literally updated the style guide to stop referring to themselves as Mormons. The changes have been pervasive. Join Ella Boleynn as she probes into the reasoning behind these changes and the impact they are having on investigators, active members, and those who have left the church. Discussions include: - What ever happened to the I’m a Mormon campaign? - The insidious nature of primary and Christmas programs that don't seem "Mormon" - Milk before meat as a means of manipulation - Will calling someone "Mormon" eventually be considered bigoted language? - Closed community as evidence of the Mormon church being a cult - How the great Mormon rebranding undermines ExMormon stories and stories showing the truth about the church. - The power of language in the cult of Mormonism - What the label "ExMormon" means to me - My argument for why calling it The Mormon Church is actually more truthful than calling it The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - The necessity of using church-approved language to reach those who are garment-deep in the gospel - Tell me what you think about the great Mormon rebranding on Threads @ellaboleynn Connect with Ella Boleynn online: https://livinginretrospect.com/my-links Links and references shared: https://news-kh.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/-i-m-a-mormon-campaign https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/church/news/mormon-is-out-church-releases-statement-on-how-to-refer-to-the-organization?lang=eng https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/style-guide

Celebrate the fact that Ella is no longer bound by the mistake of a temple marriage with an in-depth discussion of her temple trauma, exclusion in LDS temple sealings, the insidious nature of endowment timing, why people repress doubt, and rebuilding your authentic self after leaving the church. Connect with Ella Boleynn online: https://livinginretrospect.com/my-links/

I wasn’t planning on releasing an episode this week, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how many of you are facing holiday celebrations that are anything but comfortable. This brief episode is for you. I’m proud of you for breaking free, and this holiday, I hope you find the peace and joy you deserve. Connect with Ella Boleynn online: https://livinginretrospect.com/my-links/

A discussion of sexual repression, masturbation, confession, and wasted intelligence. Connect with Ella Boleynn online: https://livinginretrospect.com/my-links/

Sit in as Ella Boleynn interviews Stephanie Taylor, author of Silenced in the Name of God. In this interview exploring her new book, Stephanie opens up about abuse, making her own support, and finally speaking out. Other topics discussed include healing after trauma, the church’s toxic doctrines on forgiveness, the power of anger to motivate creation and change, and the importance of finding joy. Buy Silenced in the Name of God: https://amzn.to/3sau1Va Stephanie’s website: StephanieTaylor.net Spiritually Unchained Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/658093066094068/?ref=share&mibextid=S66gvF Connect with Ella Boleynn online: https://livinginretrospect.com/my-links/

Join Ella Boleynn in a discussion of how sexual repression breeds harm. Connect with Ella Boleynn online: https://livinginretrospect.com/my-links/

I’m watching them prepare for missions, church schools, the temple, and marriage, and I just can’t stay silent any longer. Find the shareable version of “An Open Letter to the Primary Kids I Taught Who Are Now Grown” on the blog at: https://livinginretrospect.com/to-primary-kids-i-taught/ Connect with Ella Boleynn online: https://livinginretrospect.com/my-links/

Ella Boleynn shares her story of leaving the Mormon Church after her now ex-husband was arrested for a shocking sex scandal. Learn about the sex scandal, why she married him in the first place, and how her experiences inspired her to start the sEXyMOfo podcast. Connect with Ella Boleynn online: https://livinginretrospect.com/my-links/

sEXyMOfo: Deconstructing Mormonism, Overcoming Repression, and Healing Religious Trauma Join Ella Boleynn is exposing the Mormon church's secret combinations. Listen to the trailer to get a taste of what the podcast is about. You can find Ella's two other podcasts and connect with here here: https://livinginretrospect.com/my-links