Choosing Us

How do couples navigate intimacy when hormones turn everything upside down? The Drapers open up about a reality many new parents face but few discuss openly. Three months postpartum, their intimate dynamics have completely reversed—roles they've held for years suddenly flipped because of hormonal shifts that can last up to twelve months (and full recovery can take two years).Michaela, who historically initiated physical connection, now experiences diminished desire due to postpartum hormones and gender-specific pregnancy effects. Meanwhile, Brad's hormone cycle has shifted, making him the pursuer for the first time in their relationship. Initially, they struggled with role reversal and fear of rejection. (It's harder than you'd think when the script suddenly changes.) But they've discovered something crucial: understanding each other's hormonal realities and adjusting expectations for this season is essential to maintaining connection.The invisible nature of postpartum recovery makes it difficult for many women to give themselves compassion during this period, even though the body undergoes profound internal changes. Brad shares how experiencing both sides of desire—being wanted and being the one not in the mood—builds empathy and gratitude, allowing couples to support each other through difficult seasons.Ready to hear how honest communication about changing desires can strengthen your connection during life's transitions? Listen to the full episode.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

Authenticity might just be the most exhausting thing you're not doing in your relationship. The Drapers dive deep into why we waste so much energy creating personas for others when genuine connection demands we show up as ourselves. Brad points out something fascinating: everyone sees a different version of your mask anyway, filtered through their own experiences, so why bother maintaining the facade? In their twelve-year marriage, the Drapers have learned this lesson firsthand. Early on, she followed his lead in fitness and other pursuits until her mother encouraged her to discover her own identity. (That maternal wisdom hit different.) Brad's approach became gentle invitations rather than pressure—whether it's journaling, fitness, or music preferences. Here's the thing about supporting your partner's authentic self: their full potential may look nothing like your vision for them, and that's exactly as it should be.What happens when you stop trying to change someone and start accepting them as they are? The Drapers explore everything from protein powder debates (yes, seriously) to communication styles that shift between business partners and spouses. Through slightly imperfect but deeply honest conversation, they reveal that curating your delivery isn't about changing yourself but ensuring your message lands as intended.Ready to drop the mask and discover what authentic partnership actually looks like?Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

When your partner keeps growing and you're standing still, the relationship starts to feel off-balance. Brad and his co-host wrap up their mini-series on Napoleon Hill's relationship principles with a discussion about intellectual and spiritual companionship (while managing their teething daughter's brief nap window).They introduce their "bike analogy"—the idea that both partners must keep pedaling forward, both together and individually, to maintain momentum in their relationship. The couple emphasizes that codependency ultimately undermines partnerships. Brad continuously pursued growth across physical, intellectual, spiritual, and emotional domains while his wife initially resisted these changes. He never pressured her but set a loving example, allowing her to eventually follow suit years later.Through a candid moment about miscommunication when leaving crying children, they explore a challenging reality: mothers experience fight-or-flight responses to their children's cries, making it harder to step back. How can fathers better support mothers in taking that necessary space? The speakers stress that individual growth isn't selfish but necessary, requiring partners to sacrifice convenience and take turns prioritizing each other's pursuits.They acknowledge that meaningful growth cannot be forced—it must come from *personal choice*. Without intentional personal development from both partners, relationships deteriorate rather than thrive.Tune in for their final thoughts on Napoleon Hill's teachings and what partnership really requires.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

The Drapers return from their week away to share something that saved their relationship during a particularly rough afternoon. Three months into parenting three children, they're figuring out how to stay connected when life gets overwhelming (and it definitely does). Brad sticks to his daily to-do list religiously—his wife supports these commitments even when they conflict with her own preferences, which shows the mutual respect they've built as best friends and partners.Drawing from Napoleon Hill's teacher training manual, they explore affectionate response as a crucial ingredient for healthy relationships. But here's the thing: affectionate response isn't just about being nice. It's about thoughtful, intentional communication delivered from a place of genuine care, especially during difficult moments rather than defensive reactions.The real breakthrough came when she realized her emotional state was dragging everyone down. Brad, who usually stays calm, immediately mirrored her negativity. The culprit? Skipping carbohydrates caused afternoon irritability and fatigue—something fruit and rest quickly fixed. How often do we mistake hunger or hormones for deeper relationship problems?Instead of escalating their snappy exchange, they recognized the underlying causes. By choosing silence, removing themselves from the environment, and addressing basic needs like eating, they prevented a minor disagreement from snowballing into a major fight.Ready to learn their practical strategies for responding with affection instead of defensiveness? Tune in to hear how simple solutions can resolve what seems like deeper conflict.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

Why Your Parents' Relationship Might Be Sabotaging Your MarriageHere's something you probably haven't thought about lately: the patterns you witnessed growing up are quietly running your relationship right now. Brad and Michaela Draper dive into the uncomfortable truth about inherited relationship behaviors and why waiting for the "perfect time" to work on your marriage is basically just an excuse.Recording while caring for their newborn (because life doesn't pause for podcasts), the Drapers get real about physical attraction over time. Brad shares how he's actually more attracted to his wife now than years ago, pointing to his nearly-seventy-year-old parents as proof that attraction can deepen with age. The catch? It requires intentional effort—staying fit, showing up groomed, and consistently dating your spouse.They explore how bodies change through parenthood and aging, yet attraction doesn't have to diminish if you're both putting in the work. Brad even simplified his grooming routine to a shaved head and trimmed beard to save time while still making an effort. (Efficiency meets intentionality.)Through meaningful conversations about family backgrounds and seeking healthy relationship examples from books, movies, and mentors, you can rewire what's possible in your own partnership. Breaking negative cycles demands consistent action, not excuses.Ready to audit your relationship habits and prioritize what truly matters?Tune in for practical wisdom on building lasting connection through daily choices.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

When your spouse says "just a minute" and returns thirty minutes later, does that count as a lie or just a miscommunication?The Drapers tackle this exact scenario in their latest conversation about Don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements and how they apply to marriage. Being impeccable with your word isn't just about grand promises (it's also about those small daily commitments like callbacks and time estimates). They share how Brad's showerhead repair spiraled from "a minute" to much longer due to tangled Teflon tape, creating frustration not from the delay itself but from unmet expectations.The real breakthrough? Recognizing that miscommunication stems from different perspectives rather than intentional deception. Michaela explains how she addressed the pattern constructively instead of staying irritated, while Brad learned that good intentions don't erase impact. Throughout, they emphasize that reception matters more than delivery in intimate relationships—both parties need validation, not just justifications.From juggling podcast production with a newborn to navigating everyday conflicts, the Drapers demonstrate that doing difficult things strengthens relationships. They stress approaching disagreements as collaborative problem-solving opportunities rather than blame games, proving that perseverance and tactful communication matter even when circumstances feel overwhelming.Tune in to hear how these ancient principles transform modern marriage dynamics.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

When the Drapers started planning their first Masogi, a year-defining difficult activity completed during winter's slack season, Brad was shocked to learn he'd be tackling it as a team. What began as nighttime 35-mile endurance walks evolved into marathon-distance family events where even their newborn joined in a stroller. (Michaela and their children have consistently surprised Brad during final stretches to remind him he's not alone.)The tradition now includes a sunset-to-sunrise walk lasting 15 hours, rotating locations annually. Instead of focusing purely on distance, the Drapers emphasize the mental toughness required to endure such difficulty together. They plan to invite their children around age eight or nine, teaching them that struggle builds confidence and resilience. A former SEAL Team 6 member's family completing the event together proved how shared hardship strengthens family bonds.Why do typical holiday customs rarely create the same lasting impact as purposeful challenges?As Aristotle taught, self-control requires self-knowledge. By consistently improving yourself and maintaining high standards, your spouse and children naturally aspire to do the same. Personal growth becomes a collective endeavor when you lead by example in fitness, nutrition, spirituality, or other areas.Tune in to discover how the Drapers navigate parenting three young children while building these core family memories through shared perseverance.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

When it comes to New Year's resolutions, most people abandon them within days.The Drapers tackle why this happens and what actually works instead (spoiler: it's not just writing a wish list). Breaking goals into daily actionable steps matters far more than grand January declarations, they explain. Supporting your partner's goals means understanding exactly what those goals are and the specific steps they're taking to achieve them.Here's a concrete example: helping with grocery selections aligned with fitness objectives. That's real partnership. They also discuss how they avoid keeping trigger foods like Oreos at home to prevent self-sabotage. Without clear long-term targets—whether one-year, three-year, or ten-year goals—effort becomes meaningless. Having a written plan enables you to pivot strategically when life changes, rather than reacting chaotically.What are you trading what you want most for in this moment? The Drapers stress removing negative influences, whether unhelpful people, toxic environments, or undermining habits. They share their own tradition: setting goals together over gelato, discussing how to support each other across fitness, finances, spiritual, and emotional well-being. True happiness comes from prioritizing experiences with family over accumulating possessions.Ready to start the year aligned with your partner?Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

When a newborn forces you to slow down, something unexpected happens. The Drapers discovered that stripping away the holiday chaos revealed what Christmas was really about all along (and it wasn't the endless shopping lists or packed schedules). After years of financial stress during the season, they're now celebrating simply with their family, choosing to skip the Santa promotion entirely and focus on Christ-centered values instead.Here's the question that changed everything for them:Are you directing your energy toward what truly matters this holiday season, or just toward what's expected?Their six-year-old remains playfully skeptical about their Santa explanation, but the Drapers recently experienced genuine magic while embodying Santa at a children's party. They're learning that kids don't remember the expensive gifts—those are forgotten quickly—but they remember simple traditions like Michaela's cinnamon rolls and childhood wassail rituals. Through shared experiences and quality time, these small moments become core memories.The tension many fathers face is real: providing materially versus being emotionally available. But children who grow up without parental presence won't suddenly value time with their parents later, regardless of available resources then. Simple activities like living room picnics, board games, or park dates create lasting impressions that elaborate trips never could.Listen to discover how choosing presence over presents transforms relationships.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

Starting the year with chaos and hardship, the Drapers discovered something counterintuitive: real happiness isn't waiting at the end of some perfect journey. Their 2025 has been exceptionally challenging, yet they've found profound fulfillment by choosing joy even when circumstances suggest otherwise.Through years of intentional practice (over a decade, actually), Brad and Michaela have learned to communicate with brutal honesty wrapped in love. When Brad points out Michaela's interrupting habit or tells an entrepreneur his pricing won't work, it's not criticism—it's clarity, which they've learned is one of the kindest gifts you can offer. This directness surprises the incarcerated women they work with, who rarely witness healthy relationship dynamics where partners help each other grow without defensiveness.What does it take to accept constructive feedback from your partner without getting defensive?The couple emphasizes that communication isn't one-size-fits-all. Just as their sensitive son needs gentle explanations while his brother responds to stern corrections, different people require tailored approaches. Adapting your tone and delivery demonstrates genuine respect, not inauthenticity.Their key insight? True contentment comes from finding joy when you have nothing—that foundation allows you to appreciate abundance when it arrives. Happiness is a choice, not a destination dependent on external circumstances.Tune in to hear how leaning on each other during hardship has transformed their partnership from carefully managing emotions to genuine vulnerability.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

Relationship Maintenance During Life's Demanding SeasonsWhen a new baby arrives, even the strongest relationships face challenges that test established connection routines. The Drapers are experiencing this firsthand with their baby girl, navigating sleep deprivation and a reversed day-night cycle while their weekly date nights sit temporarily on pause. (It's the reality most new parents know too well.)Surprisingly, rebuilding relationship connection takes just as long as it took to let things deteriorate—think of reviving a struggling houseplant or returning to fitness after months away. Many couples neglect their partnership during busy seasons, sometimes for years, only to feel like roommates. When they finally decide to reconnect, they expect instant results after just weeks of effort, but relationships don't work that way.What does it take to rekindle that initial spark? Returning to the basics matters: dating regularly, sending sweet messages, and showing consistent care. The transformation demands sustained commitment over weeks and months, not overnight fixes. Communication becomes critical here—partners must have honest conversations about their desires rather than suddenly changing behavior without explanation.How would you describe your ideal relationship? Write down your vision, discuss it openly with your partner, and take manageable steps together toward that shared goal.Ready to strengthen your connection? Listen to the full episode for practical strategies to prioritize your relationship, even during life's most demanding phases.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

New Parents, Old WisdomWhen their sons reminded them about the Christmas tree, the Drapers realized something profound: their children's priorities matter just as much as their own. With a newborn in the house and three older kids running around (plus one struggling middle-child dog), life has become beautifully chaotic. They're now completing only about seventy-five percent of their daily to-do lists, and honestly, that's okay.Brad shares his cherished evening routine—spending quiet, non-verbal moments with his daughter before bed. This time around, unlike during his previous children's births, he's grateful to balance business responsibilities with hands-on parenting. How different would our relationships look if we prioritized these small connections?The couple practices focus gazing, a mindfulness technique where you study something small (like a leaf) for five to ten minutes to sharpen attention and reduce stress. They've also adapted their date nights to include prison ministry work together. Through extended hugs, brief cuddles, and acknowledging each other's contributions, they're intentionally drifting closer rather than apart.In the relentless pace of modern life, we often miss what truly matters. The Drapers remind us that tomorrow isn't guaranteed—today is unique and worth savoring.Ready to slow down and reconnect with what matters most?Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

In this episode, Brad and Michaela discuss the impact and power of having gratitude. Being the week of Thanksgiving, they felt it was imperative to discuss having love and gratitude within the home and in your relationship.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

Honestly, the most powerful thing about this episode might be what happens when two exhausted people choose to show up for each other anyway. The Drapers are navigating the final days before their baby arrives while simultaneously restarting their business after fourteen months—and they're pulling back the curtain on what intimacy actually looks like when life gets messy.Here's what might surprise you: they're not talking about romance in the traditional sense. Instead, they break down how true intimacy encompasses emotional, spiritual, and energetic connection that extends far beyond the bedroom. (Foot rubs and extended cuddles count, apparently.) With Michaela experiencing pregnancy complications and both partners stretched thin, they discuss how small, consistent acts of service create meaningful bonds even when grand gestures aren't possible.The episode challenges a common assumption—that intimacy naturally happens when you love someone. The Drapers argue otherwise, emphasizing that healthy relationships require intentional action, not just good intentions. They share practical advice: start each day asking how you can serve your spouse, prioritize date nights even during challenging seasons, and extend grace when postpartum affects both partners.When did you last intentionally pursue intimacy in all its forms?Tune in for an honest conversation about staying connected when everything else demands your attention.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

What does it really mean to love someone?The Drapers flip the script on romance by arguing that love isn't a feeling you fall into—it's an active verb demanding consistent effort. Through a bicycle analogy, they explain how relationships need constant pedaling (continuous work and intentional energy) or they'll inevitably coast to a stop. While many couples believe they've "fallen out of love," the Drapers challenge this phrase entirely, insisting love is an internal choice rather than an external force.After twelve years of marriage, Brad and Michaela practice what they preach. They maintain regular date nights and nightly connection time, with Brad currently providing physical support for Michaela at thirty-six weeks pregnant—from counterpressure during contractions to household duties. Interestingly, they delayed having children for five and a half years to build their foundation first. Their approach centers on avoiding scorekeeping and embracing the natural ebb and flow of partnership. Small acts matter: bringing a mixer upstairs, expressing gratitude, showing up as a team. (The butterflies of early dating aren't real love, they insist.) The greatest fulfillment comes from working through challenges together because struggle builds deeper connection. Even busy weeks reveal how quickly that spark fades without prioritization, without prioritization.Important note:This advice applies only to healthy relationships where both partners genuinely try—toxic or abusive situations require entirely different intervention.Tune in to discover how choosing love as a verb can transform your relationship.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

What if the secret to a strong marriage isn't being inseparable, but learning when to stand on your own?The Drapers dive deep into the delicate balance between independence and interdependence in marriage, sharing raw insights from their 11-year journey together. Starting as a 19-year-old wife who waited by the door for her husband's return, Michaela reveals how her early codependency nearly destroyed their relationship. The couple discusses the crucial difference between leaning on your partner versus dumping your entire emotional load on them.Through honest examples—from constant work complaints to 18 months of non-stop baby talk—Brad and Michaela demonstrate how overwhelming your spouse with daily grievances can make you someone they don't want to come home to. Their breakthrough came with an unexpected ultimatum involving a cat that taught them both the importance of individual fulfillment.The key takeaway? Healthy relationships require two strong, independent people who choose to build something together, not two halves trying to complete each other. They emphasize taking responsibility for your own healing while still offering genuine support when it truly matters.Ready to transform your relationship dynamics? Listen to discover the "quirky" solutions that saved their marriage.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

Discover how busy parents can prioritize their relationship without leaving home in this intimate episode recorded from the Drapers' living room.At 34 weeks pregnant with their third child, Michaela and her husband share their approach to maintaining connection during life's busiest seasons. Instead of a traditional babymoon, they opted for a local staycation while their boys stayed with grandparents - proving that meaningful moments don't require expensive trips or elaborate plans.The couple opens up about establishing sacred family time from 6-8 PM that even their business partners respect, emphasizing that children remember presence over possessions. They challenge the common excuse of working excessive hours "for the family," arguing that families want you there, not just providing financially.Key highlights include:- How to create relationship time when you can't travel- Setting work boundaries that actually stick- Why "working for the family" often misses the mark- Establishing sacred hours for family connection- Planning regular mini-getaways to maintain partnershipThe Drapers stress that strong relationships require intentional effort - love doesn't fade, but the effort to nurture it often does. They share practical strategies for staying connected as partners while raising children and building careers.Ready to learn how to prioritize what matters most? Listen to this episode for actionable insights on balancing family, work, and relationship goals.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

Ever wonder why your kids seem to ignore your threats but listen to other parents?Brad reveals the eye-opening moment when his six-year-old's friend rolled his eyes at empty parental warnings—but immediately complied when warned that Brad actually follows through.In this candid episode of Choosing Us, Michaela and Brad get real about the messy reality of parenting as a team. From navigating brutal pregnancy symptoms to discovering their pre-marriage parenting plans didn't survive first contact with actual children, they share hard-won wisdom about different parenting styles.The couple reveals their "mom says goes" default system, the importance of debriefing privately after tense moments, and why they never criticize each other in front of the kids. Using collaborative "we" language and stepping in when tempers flare has become their secret weapon for maintaining unity.Drawing from Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, they emphasize that children's brains aren't fully developed until 25—making consistent boundaries and role modeling crucial. Brad's revelation about kids mimicking everything from tone to how he adjusts his gym shorts drives home the constant responsibility of parenting.Ready to transform your parenting partnership? Listen to this episode for practical strategies that actually work when theory meets reality.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

What if the secret to relationship happiness isn't finding the perfect partner, but choosing gratitude for the one you have?After a year of weekly episodes, The Drapers open up about the exhaustion of showing up consistently while delivering their most important message yet. They tackle the dangerous illusion of social media's highlight reels—those rented cars, staged luxury shots, and curated perfection that make real relationships look inadequate by comparison.The hosts share powerful wisdom from their mentors about "blissful dissatisfaction" and "aggressive patience"—finding contentment in the present while still pursuing growth. They remind us that "the grass is greenest where you water it" and that happiness is an internal choice that must begin now, not after you find someone "better."Through honest reflections on body changes, financial shifts, and life's inevitable seasons, they challenge the myth that leaving will solve relationship problems. Instead, they advocate for choosing attraction, cultivating gratitude, and stepping away from toxic comparisons that steal joy.Their six-year practice of weekly date nights proves that meaningful connection trumps wealth every time.Ready to transform your relationship perspective? Listen to discover how choosing gratitude over comparison can revolutionize your love life.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.

Racing Against Thunderstorms: How Small Broken Promises Destroy Big RelationshipsWhat if the key to unshakeable confidence isn't a new car or wardrobe, but simply keeping promises to yourself?The Drapers dive deep into "The Four Agreements" concept of being impeccable with your word, revealing how seemingly minor broken commitments—like skipping chores or showing up late—systematically erode trust in our most important relationships.They share powerful examples of how broken promises to children create lasting damage, emphasizing that kids learn from actions, not words. When parents consistently break commitments, they inadvertently teach that accountability is optional.The hosts demonstrate practical solutions through their CornBelly's pumpkin patch story, showing how transparent communication and creative problem-solving allowed them to honor family commitments while managing business calls. They reveal that 93% of communication is body language and tone, making *how* we speak more crucial than *what* we say.Most importantly, they argue that true confidence stems from internal trust—keeping promises to yourself first, then extending that reliability to others. Small consistencies build the foundation for unshakeable relationships.Ready to transform your relationships through impeccable integrity? Listen to discover how keeping your word can revolutionize your confidence and connections.Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you!Listen in!Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosing Us.