Teens Who Thrive

Do you ever struggle to find that perfect Goldilocks "just right" spot being gentle and empathetic but also being firm? In this episode, we break down one of the biggest myths in parenting teens—the idea that you have to choose between connection and boundaries. Learn why BOTH are essential and how to combine them into a powerful strategy that builds trust, responsibility, and long-term influence. What You’ll Learn: Why connection alone isn't enough—and how it can lead to permissive parenting The hidden downsides of boundary-only, authoritarian parenting How combining empathy with clear expectations creates trust and real influence Practical steps to enforce limits with love and follow through without shame   Takeaway: You don’t have to choose between connection or control. The real magic happens when you blend both.

In this episode of Teens Who Thrive, we're digging into a truth that might feel uncomfortable at first—but is actually incredibly empowering: the secret to transforming your relationship with your teen starts with YOU. Cheryl explores three powerful reasons why your self-awareness, emotional history, and parenting habits shape the connection you have with your teen—and what you can do to shift the dynamic in a positive way. What You'll Learn: Why your current parenting style is more influenced by your childhood than you think. How your teen’s “attitude” might be totally developmentally normal. Why your emotional triggers matter more than your teen’s tone. What to do when old baggage shows up in parenting How to move forward with more intention and less guilt.

As our kids transition into their teenage years, we all know it's essential to give them more responsibility and help them become accountable and independent. But how? This week on Teens Who Thrive, we'll explore how to navigate this tricky middle stage of parenting. The stage where you know you shouldn’t be doing everything for them, but they aren’t quite ready to tackle everything on their own. The stage where we move from doing everything for our kids to doing things alongside them. Inside the episode you’ll find concrete examples that include: Navigating communication with your teen’s teacher Time management and organization Establishing a morning routine. Parenting teens is about gradually transferring responsibility and fostering independence. By working alongside our teens and guiding them through new tasks, we prepare them for adulthood. This process might be messy and challenging, but it ultimately equips our kids with the skills they need to thrive on their own.     Join the Back-to-School Bootcamp: I know many parents feel uneasy about the transition from elementary school to middle school – from little kid to teenager – which is why I put together my new BOOTCAMP: Mastering Middle School Spend 10 days in an interactive group with me learning the essential skills and strategies to help you have a successful school year with your newly minted “tween”. Your child will be making the leap to teenager whether you’re ready or not. But you can do more than just hold on and try to survive the ride. Let me show you how. Learn more at coaching.cherylsomers.com/bootcamp

We all know we need to give our teenagers a little more freedom. But how much? And how? Your teenager is growing and changing right before your eyes and it can be hard to figure out how much independence is the right amount. It can also be incredibly difficult and scary to let go of control as a parent. This week on TEENS WHO THRIVE, I am giving you concrete examples of how to loosen your parenting reins just a little. Join me this week to take at what it looks like to grant a little more freedom and independence when it comes to: Academic responsibilities Time management Privacy Decision-Making When we do it right and we find the balance between freedom and oversight, we not only empower our teens to become more independent, but we also do wonders when it comes to keeping our relationship with them on solid ground.     Join the Back-to-School Bootcamp: I know many parents feel uneasy about the transition from elementary school to middle school – from little kid to teenager – which is why I put together my new BOOTCAMP: Mastering Middle School Spend 10 days in an interactive group with me learning the essential skills and strategies to help you have a successful school year with your newly minted “tween”. Your child will be making the leap to teenager whether you’re ready or not. But you can do more than just hold on and try to survive the ride. Let me show you how. Learn more at coaching.cherylsomers.com/bootcamp

We’ve all experienced it – the famous eye roll. Your teenager receives news they don’t like – usually about something they need to do that they don’t want to do – and they respond with an eye roll, an exaggerated sigh, or they storm away and maybe even slam a door. It’s the teenager version of a toddler tantrum. I’ve worked with so many parents who come to me just furious about the eye rolling. “It’s so disrespectful” “It makes me so angry” etc. So today we’re going to break down this teen body language and talk about: what's behind this common teen behavior the problem with taking it personally, and how to deal with it more effectively

Did you ever ready Choose-Your-Own_Adventure books as a kid? I loved those books! And these CASE STUDY episodes are set up much the same way: I present a scenario that has come up in a recent parent session or teen session, and we will walk through 3 different options for how it might play out. This week's scenario is about Teens and Summer Chores. How do we help our teen's learn that they need to contribute around the house and they need to do what's been asked in the timeframe that we expect? More importantly, how can we do that WITHOUT nagging, arguing or exploding into a full-on-battle every single time. On this week's episode we'll explore 3 different options for responding to requests that go ignored. You'll learn strategies to avoid: passive-aggressive communication provoking unneeded conflict  repeated nagging and arguing about getting it done If you want your teen to be more responsible about doing what you've asked them to do around the house -- and you are committed to doing it WITHOUT the "because-I-said-so" tactics of obedience, compliance and punishment -- then this episode is for you!   Have you ever heard of COMMUNICATION STYLES? Are you curious to know more about what your style of communication is and how it might be affecting your relationship with your teen? Head over to my COMMUNICATION STYLES QUIZ and answer a few short questions to get your results!   Want to send me a scenario for a future CASE STUDY episode?  Send it to: cheryl@cherylsomers.com

This week on Teens Who Thrive we’re going to dive into 3 reasons why BECAUSE-I-SAID-SO parenting is so tempting. The short answer is: It’s easier It looks pretty from the outside It “seems like” there’s less fighting But those are all short-term wins at the expense of long-term goals. So we’re going to dig even deeper an explore: ➡Why it’s a bad idea ➡Why it doesn’t actually work 🌟And🌟 ➡What to do instead.   Have you ever heard of COMMUNICATION STYLES? Are you curious to know more about what your style of communication is and how it might be affecting your relationship with your teen? Head over to my COMMUNICATION STYLES QUIZ and answer a few short questions to get your results!

On this episode of Teens Who Thrive, we explore a crucial question for parents: How often do we truly allow our kids to fail? While the concept of letting children stumble and face natural consequences is widely acknowledged, putting it into practice is often challenging. We will dive into several essential reasons our teens benefit from struggling: -->Building resilience by giving them the opportunity to develop problem-solving skills. -->Fostering independence as teens learn to solve their own problems. - ->Teaching accountability, helping teens understand the consequences of their actions. -->Boosting confidence by helping our teens see they can accomplish challenging tasks. We will also do some self-reflecting and get honest without ourselves about why this is so hard for us to do as parents, and why we are so tempted to jump in and rescue our kids when it might be better for them to struggle.   Special Invitation: —->>>>Your relationship with your teenager isn’t difficult because she’s a teenager. It’s difficult because she struggles (and maybe you struggle too!) with essential communication and regulation skills. But the good news is that all of these skills – emotional regulation, conflict and communication skills, expressing empathy, understanding actions → consequences – all of these are critical skills that both you AND your teen need to develop if you want to enjoy a more connected relationship. J oin me for my FREE MASTERCLASS for parents of teens: COMMUNICATE & CONNECT where we will explore all of these skills and more! https://coaching.cherylsomers.com/communication-webinar

One thing we know for sure about teenagers is that they have BIG feelings about everything. We know this not just from experience but from actual research about adolescent development. We know that teens experience emotions with more intensity than adults – they feel higher highs and lower lows. We also know that they often experience these big feelings all of the sudden and it can be very overwhelming and unsettling. So the question is – knowing all of this – how do we help our teens learn how to manage those big feelings. AND – how do we teach them that their big feelings are not an excuse for big, explosive behavior? In today's episode we will explore: How to react in the moment when your teen is experiencing intense emotions. How to give them space to work through the emotions. How to process what happened How to hold your teen accountable to repair any hurtful behavior   We will also discuss why this process can be so difficult for parents who want a quick fix or who feel really uncomfortable with conflict and big emotions. P.S.  I want to invite you to my free parent training “The Essential Skills your Teen Needs to Thrive” where we will talk all about the communication and self-regulation skills your teenager desperately needs and how you can be the one to teach them!  Check out the free training here: https://coaching.cherylsomers.com/thrive-webinar

In today's episode, we're diving into all things boundaries! I'm going to share my 3 favorite examples of moms setting simple but important boundaries that actually worked! I'll walk you through these examples and highlight: The different between boundaries and rules Why it's so hard to be consistent with our boundaries Why consistentcy and patience are essential The positive effect of your boundaries on your relationship The value of modeling healthy boundaries for your teen. Have you ever heard of COMMUNICATION STYLES? Are you curious to know more about what your style of communication is and how it might be affecting your relationship with your teen? Head over to my COMMUNICATION STYLES QUIZ and answer a few short questions to get your results!

I think nearly every parent at some point has said the phrase “you can tell me anything”. But so many parents end up frustrated because they feel like their teen isn’t opening up and never shares anything with them. So what’s going on? On today’s episode I invite parents to reflect on 4 key questions that will shed some light on why your teen might be reluctant to open up to you. Together, we will explore: How to respond to your teen in ways that invite more communication instead of less. How your own habits and behavior are affecting how safe your teen feels being vulnerable with you Strategies you can start using today to encourage more trust and more open communication from your teen.    Have you ever heard of COMMUNICATION STYLES? Are you curious to know more about what your style of communication is and how it might be affecting your relationship with your teen? Head over to my COMMUNICATION STYLES QUIZ and answer a few short questions to get your results!

 We've all heard the stereotype that teens refuse to take any advice from adults -- especially their parents. But I have to tell you -- my teen therapy clients tell me a different story. What I hear from them is that they absolutely value what their parents have to say, but they feel like whenever they approach their parents for advice, all they get is a lecture. On today's episode, we will explore: How to let go of control so our teens are more likely to turn to us for input or insight. How to position ourselves a a person who has INFLUENCE over our teen's decisions. How to get comfortable with letting our teens make decisions that go against our advice. (as long as it doesn't compromise their safety.)   Teen Mental Health Resources: A Guide for Parents Finding the right help for your teen's mental health struggles can be confusing and overwhelming. This free guide is designed to help you make sense of the options and take action toward getting your teen the support they need! Get your Guide HERE

Let's talk about Stress. In my therapy practice where I work with teens and young adults, I work with kids every day who tell me their lives are super stressful. The stressors they experience are pretty typical – academic pressure, conflict with friends or family, worry about the future, etc. But the stress itself isn’t really what concerns me. What I’m noticing in my teen clients is this pattern: 1)they experience something stressful 2) their body has a response to that stress that makes them uncomfortable 3) they avoid avoid avoid so that they don’t have to feel that discomfort. On today's episode, we will explore: 1)How to help our teens understand what is happening in their nervous system when they experience stress. 2)Why it's a natural process and nothing they need to fear or avoid. 3) How to fully complete each stress cycle so they don't end up unleashing their stress energy in unhealthy ways.    Teen Mental Health Resources: A Guide for ParentsFinding the right help for your teen's mental health struggles can be confusing and overwhelming. This free guide is designed to help you make sense of the options and take action toward getting your teen the support they need!  Get your Guide HERE

Many of you know I started my career as a foreign language teacher. And it occurred to me recently that parenting has something in coming with learning a new language. When you learn a new language, there are things you “learn” – grammar, vocabulary, etc. and there are things you “acquire” – the sounds, the common phrases, the culture. Parenting has similar features –there are things we explicitly teach our kids and there are things they absorb or acquire simply by being in our family. On today’s podcast we will explore the idea that there are things our teens are learning directly from us, and other things they acquire and absorb just by being in our presence and in our family. Join me for an interesting twist on how we think about parenting…