Scott Kiloby’s Podcast - Natural Recovery from Suffering

In this episode, Scott explores Barbara Oakley’s concept of Pathological Altruism and dives deep into the world of repression inquiry. Scott explains how many acts of service, often perceived as altruistic, are actually driven by a hidden need to feel safe and gain love or approval. By burying these unconscious motivations along with difficult emotions, we create false identities based on being “good” or “altruistic.” However, once we process these buried emotions through repression inquiry, true authenticity emerges. No longer needing to maintain a facade of goodness, we find that our authentic selves are enough. If helping others is part of our calling, it can now come from a place of genuine connection, rather than from the drive to uphold a false identity.If you are a coach, teacher, therapist, or other helper, join Scott’s FREE Webinar Saturday, September 20th on Zoom. Scott will give instructions on first or next steps on your path towards learning to bring KI into your practice for your clients or students. Link to Webinar: https://repression.as.me/freewebinar4beginners-meta.

Scott goes into depth around how his previous shadow modalities and other such modalities do not get to the very root of the shadows, which is emotional repression. He breaks apart the entire process of how we miss it in our direct experience. We miss for example that we create the sense of separation for safety from the emotional repression, and that our resistance to doing skillful shadow work that gets to the repression is a natural extension of this conditioning with us, the demands separation and suffering over freedom and authenticity. There is a way out and Scott explains it. To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.

In this episode, Scott explores the origins of relationship triggers and the complex interplay between buried emotions and various trauma responses—such as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—or self-limiting beliefs that arise when we are triggered. These reactions are often protective mechanisms designed to keep us safe from the buried emotions we have yet to confront. However, these very buried emotions also create the triggers that impact our relationships and overall well-being.On a spiritual or healing path, we may mistakenly engage in awareness-based or inquiry processes aiming to avoid these buried feelings, which can unintentionally perpetuate our suffering rather than alleviate it. In this podcast, Scott unpacks the true source of our triggers and illustrates how an overemphasis on these responses can blind us to the deeper issues at play—specifically, the unmet needs from our childhood that connect to these buried emotions.Listeners will gain a greater understanding of how addressing our triggers is essential, yet not sufficient on its own, to truly heal and break free from the patterns that drive our suffering. If you're ready to delve deeper into the roots of your reactions and emotional experiences, this episode offers critical insights for your journey toward authentic healing.To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott

In this episode, Scott explores the hidden dynamics of avoidant attachment style and why individuals may cheat in relationships. This episode is a result of many people asking Scott about the common infidelity among spiritual teachers and how they often don’t address it directly and maturely. Many people have also asked Scott about their cheating spouse or their own history of infidelity, blind to the roots of such behavior. He discusses how unmet emotional needs from childhood often lead to deceptive behaviors and emphasizes that buried emotions, if unacknowledged, can result in cycles of guilt and shame.Scott highlights that individuals who cheat may later feel overwhelming guilt or shame and an urgent need to hide or apologize, showcasing the internal struggles tied to unprocessed feelings. By addressing the roots of infidelity, Scott provides valuable insights into the emotional complexities that drive such behaviors and the way out of this suffering. To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott

To work directly with Scott, https://kiloby.com/scott

In this podcast, Scott explains how emotional repression leads us to unconsciously choose safety and love over freedom. This affects our choice of paths, practices, and teachers, sabotaging our journey. After years on a spiritual path, we might wonder why we still suffer, facing issues like disease, chronic pain, or addiction. The reason is that we unknowingly prioritize safety over true freedom.Although we aim for freedom, our unconscious conditioning keeps us safe but suffering. The Kiloby Inquiries (KI) offer a way to break free by addressing the unconscious drivers of this suffering. To talk to Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.

In this thought-provoking episode, Scott emphasizes the significance of having the right context in our spiritual practices. He clarifies that "right" does not necessarily equate to what is correct or absolutely true, but rather refers to a perspective that guides us toward understanding our experiences in a way that addresses the root of our suffering. Scott explains that if our context diverts us from recognizing how we contribute to our own suffering, we risk falling into an avoidant spiritual path—one that our unconscious mind seeks as a means of safety and love. He highlights that buried emotions, which we struggle to process due to the contexts we adopt, play a crucial role in this dynamic. For those interested in working directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.

In this episode, Scott explores the intricate relationship between our consciousness and the future shaped by advancements in AI and deepfake technology, inspired in part by a song from Aimee Mann and current events. Scott delves into how taking sides—whether politically or otherwise—often serves as a protective mechanism from our unresolved trauma and buried emotions, ultimately perpetuating our suffering. He focuses in part on “sick green” consciousness and how progressive viewpoints are often still driven by old wounds from mom and dad. Instead of aligning with specific conspiracy theories, positions or parties, he advocates for making consciousness and embodiment our top priorities. This shift will ground us in an uncertain political and economic landscape, as well as navigate the challenges of trust and verification of identity in an increasingly complex digital world. Rather than solely highlighting suffering, Scott focuses on inspiring listeners to transcend their struggles. To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.

In this episode, Scott delves into the profound idea that true intimacy and meaningful connections flourish when we allow ourselves to fully experience our emotions and open up to others. While emotional repression often serves as a misguided form of self-protection, it ultimately sabotages our deepest desires for authenticity and closeness.Scott speaks directly and unapologetically, addressing listeners who may feel triggered or uncomfortable with the truths he shares. He emphasizes that for those genuinely ready to engage in deep inner work, this message can be a catalyst for profound change, helping them confront the root of their suffering.This episode offers a candid exploration of Scott’s journey as an anger repressor, sharing his personal struggles with buried emotions and how this work has transformed his relationships. Tune in for an insightful, and at times provocative, discussion that challenges you to face your own emotional barriers.To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.

Scott shares the before and after emotional repression inquiry upon request of listeners. To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.

In this episode, Scott delves into covert narcissism in a stream of consciousness manner, illustrating how repression underlies all forms of narcissism, whether diagnosable or not. He emphasizes that each of us must confront this issue and explore whether our narcissistic or ego-driven behaviors stem from the fear of anger, hurt, or sadness. For those who bury anger, hidden or covert manipulation and control often manifest in relationships, creating dynamics that remain unseen. This is what makes it covert; we often project onto others the very traits we dislike within ourselves. Until we acknowledge and own these aspects, true freedom eludes us. To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott

In this episode, Scott invites his very special first guest - the innovative Dan McLintock - Co-Developer of KI. Dan and Scott tackle the concept of the original gaslight: how we often believe we’re being gaslit by others while failing to recognize that we gaslight ourselves due to emotional repression from childhood. They dive deep into how this self-deception plays a significant role in meeting our needs and maintaining a false narrative about our lives.Dan and Scott also share their unique journeys and how their histories intertwined to form KI—meeting at a pivotal moment to address the avoidance of their previous spiritual paths. Experience the special synergy between Scott and Dan (even if it triggers you a bit), as they invite you into their vulnerable worlds - emerging from anger repression despite a society that often favors falseness and codependency. To work directly with Scott or Dan, visit https://kiloby.com/clarity-call.

In this episode, Scott dives into the intriguing world of conspiracy theories, offering a unique perspective that links the beliefs of their proponents to underlying trauma and buried emotions. He explores how these unprocessed feelings can shape an individual's worldview, causing them to project a reality that is deeply influenced by their past experiences. While many seek the truth through these theories, Scott suggests that they often overlook the importance of introspection—ignoring the emotions tied to their childhood experiences. These buried feelings can manifest as strong shadows cast upon figures of authority, like the government or parental archetypes. Rather than leading to genuine understanding, this path can sometimes deepen ignorance. Scott emphasizes the need for curiosity not just about external events, but also about our internal consciousness. By exploring our own feelings and experiences, we can address the suffering that manifests in the world around us. This journey inward allows us to break free from the duality and confusion that often dominate our perceptions of reality.To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.

Join Scott in this episode as he dives into the Three Dimensions of Spiritual Practice developed by KI. Scott explores how these dimensions shape our spiritual journeys, detailing the actions we take—or do not take—in our practices. In the first dimension, we sit in stillness, allowing our thoughts and feelings to arise. In the second dimension, we prompt something up from the unconsciousness that would not have otherwise come into awareness without our prompting. Scott emphasizes that the first two dimensions often overlook buried emotions, leading to an inherent bypass in spiritual growth.To address this bypass, Scott introduces the groundbreaking third dimension of spiritual practice created by KI. He not only explains these three dimensions in depth but also shares solutions to the automatic bypass that frequently hinders spiritual progress. Additionally, he highlights insights from his new book, *Awake But Sick: The Myth of Immediate Freedom and the Dangers of Spiritual Bypassing*, which offers a comprehensive look at bypassing and its dangers. Most importantly, Scott discusses how to truly end suffering by confronting the very emotions we often seek to avoid. To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.

In this episode, Scott explores the intriguing connection between codependent behavior and buried anger, drawing on scientific and academic research to illuminate this vital topic. Many individuals may exhibit seemingly benign behaviors—such as being overly nice, trying to save or fix others, or prioritizing the feelings of those around them—yet these tendencies often mask deeper, unresolved emotions.Scott reveals how codependent behaviors, while prominent on the surface, can lead to an oversight of the buried anger that fuels these actions. By understanding the hidden roots of codependency, listeners will gain a fresh perspective on their own behaviors and the emotions that may be influencing them without their awareness.Through insightful discussions and evidence-based insights, this podcast episode provides a deeper, more enlightening way to engage with the complexities of codependency. If you’re looking to unravel these behaviors and confront the underlying emotions, this episode is a must-listen.To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.

In this episode, Scott delves into how emotional repression fuels suffering, highlighting how various forms—such as anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and self-limiting beliefs—are often labeled separately. He reveals that they all stem from the same source: unprocessed emotions. These emotions create suffering as a defense mechanism, keeping us safe from what we've buried. Scott offers a fresh perspective by examining everyday scenarios that may seem unrelated to buried emotions but, in fact, are intricately connected. Tune in to uncover the hidden links between your experiences and emotional repression. To work directly with Scott in one on one mentorship or to join his KI jump starter group, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.

In this episode, Scott delves into the profound feelings of being unheard or misunderstood in our relationships. These emotions often stem from our inability to express the authentic feelings we have buried deep within ourselves. Scott explores the origins of identity and how various personas arise to protect us from confronting these buried emotions. Understanding where the feelings of being unseen, unheard, or misunderstood come from is crucial to unraveling the complexities of our emotional experiences.Listeners will gain practical insights that target the root of all identities, regardless of their content. Whether you're struggling with emotional expression or seeking greater clarity in your relationships, this episode offers valuable tools for self-discovery and authenticity. For those interested in working directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.

In this exciting podcast, Scott reveals his latest book on the perils of spiritual bypassing, co-authored with the esteemed Toshi Matsunaga. Through extensive research and years of working with clients, Scott and Toshi have uncovered the critical role that emotional repression plays in driving various forms of suffering.The book delves into the inherent bypasses present in many Eastern practices, pointers, and philosophies. Scott and Toshi meticulously examine how buried emotions can undermine the effectiveness of these spiritual approaches, leading to a false sense of peace and a perpetuation of unresolved emotional wounds.Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of the science behind this phenomenon and learn how to navigate the rich landscape of spiritual practices with a more holistic approach. The podcast sets the stage for Toshi Matsunaga to emerge as a prominent teacher in the coming years, as he and Scott share their insights and strategies for processing buried emotions.To speak to Toshi about working directly with him, visit https://kiloby.com/clarity-call

Join Scott in this insightful episode as he explores a profound perspective on suffering. The science tells us that buried emotions create suffering, and Scott dives deep into how this suffering stems from what we’re not feeling. He explains that suffering arises to awareness because it’s safer than buried emotions.Scott discusses how unresolved childhood needs are intricately linked to these buried emotions, leading us to identify with false narratives about ourselves. Instead of navigating a path of avoidance or numbness, he encourages listeners to confront what they’re not feeling—this is the key to unlocking the buried emotions that fuel our suffering. Tune in for a thought-provoking conversation that could transform your understanding of emotional well-being. To work directly with Scott, visit: https://kiloby.com/scott

Scott proposes that we add a particular sign or qualification to narcissism, one that is often, if not always, overlooked. It’s this one sign that can help us transform narcissism .Listen and find out what the one sign is. To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.