The Natty Bumpercar Bumperpodcast

This is the episode that Natty promised was lost in last week’s episode. It is about our recent roadtrip to Podfest in Florida. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Natty Bumpercar recounts his experience at a podcasting conference in Florida, where he lost an episode and stayed at a moldy hotel. He describes the overwhelming environment, his difficulty connecting with people, and his health issues, including a low oxygen level that led to a two-day hospital stay. Despite initial miscommunication with his team, they eventually realized something was amiss. The podcast team humorously discusses various mishaps, including lost pants and misunderstandings about HR and Healthy Ribbits magazine. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Aloysius J Pig and a special guest discuss technical difficulties with recording their podcast, including equipment malfunctions and the need for more snacks. The guest reveals his identity and shares insights into his busy holiday season, including logistical challenges like navigating homes without chimneys and dealing with pets. They reflect on the joy and challenges of Christmas, with the guest emphasizing the importance of spreading joy and the emotional aspects of the holiday. Aloysius humorously suggests that the guest become a professional podcaster, but Santa remains focused on his preparations for the upcoming year. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!    

Natty Bumpercar and Aloysius J Pig attempted to record a podcast without their producer, who was on vacation. They faced numerous technical issues, including a chilly studio at 48 degrees and malfunctioning wires. Despite their efforts, the recording equipment failed. Aloysius humorously recounted his search for a tomato soup can to record, while Natty yawned into the microphone. They received messages from their producer and Rufus, who warned them about the cold studio, broken wires, and not eating frog cookies. The episode concluded with a reflection on their failed attempt and the chaos that ensued. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Natty Bumpercar discusses his frequent distractions, likening himself to a squirrel chasing shiny objects. Rufus T. Rufus humorously corrects him and shares nostalgic stories about using tomato soup cans, contrasting with modern conveniences. The producer mentions technical issues with new equipment. They debate the timing of holiday-themed episodes, with Rufus criticizing early Christmas displays. Natty suggests making their Thanksgiving episode late, mimicking stores’ early holiday promotions. The conversation meanders into a humorous tale about a classmate named Artie Doyle, who aspired to be an author, and the absurdity of his nickname “Tomato Soup Can.” You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: so i've been distracted and that's something that happens pretty often i think you know sometimes people say well what is your podcast about what is the bumper podcast about and i say it's about me being distracted it's about me forgetting i have a podcast it's about me uh seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object and picking it up and then dropping it because look over there is another shiny object there's a lot of shiny objects out there and and they all require me to uh you know at least give them some of my attention which then does take away from everything else in my life and and that's fine right that's how life it's Aloysious J. Pig: how the life of a squirrel works bro bro bro bro hey it's me aloysius jpeg uh you're not a squirrel okay you're like a uh i'm gonna guess middle age probably past middle age uh person who uh talks into a microphone and uh it's a squirrel thing you know like let the squirrels be the squirrels let you do you sorry my voice is a little off today i might i might have caught a cold or something i noticed that um hey everyone it's Producer: me i'm producer uh so i think part of the problem this week is it's my fault because we have this really fancy um do that uh technical term that we have on the board we have a new board we've had for a year so it's not really all that new but it has a lot of buttons and has a lot of lights and it has a lot of knobs so many knobs and it has um uh slide slidey do's you know the slidey do's and um a screen and uh well i keep on trying to plug it all in and and see what will happen with the podcast and it keeps on uh not not working not working at all Aloysious J. Pig: now wouldn't you hear everybody this is uh myself rufus to rufus aloysius i think whatever you got i might have caught as well oh that's what happens in the winter time everybody says oh it's too hot oh it's look at i'm sweating all the time it's too hot i wish it was colder and then it gets colder and everybody gets a cold anyway so uh you said that this new system it's got some slidey do's now and i told you you know that was extra money to buy them slidey do's and we don't we don't we don't we don't we excuse me we do not need it all right all we when i was originally doing podcasts back in the day uh i don't you know i don't i know you youngins don't like to hear when i say you know like back in my day but back in my day when we were in podcast what we would do is we would we would uh we would take a can uh tomato soup because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time uh chicken didn't come chicken noodle didn't come until much later so we had our tomato soup and and and we would eat it you know for supper uh one can per family per week and uh we would save up our cans and uh clean them out all good uh and here's the thing when i when i was when i was growing up the cans they didn't they didn't have these little pop tops like y'all have with y'all soup cans now you can just open them up anywhere you can just walk around town open up a can of soup pop and then drink it on up nice delicious lukewarm maybe cold soup in a can oh man the life the life of riley is what we're living we actually had to take a a rock or maybe a a knife sometimes we could take if if if the goat would let us we take the the goat and we'd use his his horn and we pop that little pop you know that can of soup on open pop like that and then but the edges it'd be very jagged right so we couldn't use them for our projects until you're on okay sorry you're on a real roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now all of us are on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what you what's going on and i do want to come back i want to circle back i want to circle back to whatever you're talking about with the soup with the cans the tomatoes the the goat all these things sounds very interesting i'm sure it's gonna really draw in the uh the listenership but uh let's focus back over here real quick on on on natty yeah what what has been so distracting to you that you uh have have uh yet again Natty Bumpercar: forgotten what you're supposed to be doing i um well i i also i i want to i think the soup thing might be more interesting but you know uh i was thinking about it and you know we had i think the last time we recorded was a big we had a big halloween episode and that was kind of fun and we should make this the uh we should make this our thanksgiving episode and no uh producer i don't know if you're ever able to get in touch with turkey or not but i um Aloysious J. Pig: producer don't answer that so listen up natty the the halloween episode that we did was fun but it was also a week after at least a week after halloween and now we are again a week after thanksgiving and you're over here like oh so are we gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday you know because in a way i was gonna knock it but it's kind of brilliant because you know people might be like oh i kind of had fun on halloween i kind of miss it oh wait we're still talking about halloween great great great great it's the opposite of like stores when you go in and it's november and they got july 4th stuff out that's too early okay that's why that's i don't want to say what's wrong with the world today because there's a couple of things but i think one of the things is putting out christmas stuff um on february okay that's way it's too early it's thrown everyone's holiday rhythm off so we don't know when we're supposed to oh wait i was supposed to buy the the pool for outdoors in november oh well i i should have thought of that you know no that's not how you put the pool out in in april in may right when we're gonna need the pool not we can't be living in the future or living it sometimes it feels like we're living in the past because you don't know when the holidays are happening and the it's all it's all messed up yeah now now you're talking about it start living in the past you know we just was kind of back in my day uh so we had these cans of soup tomato soup and it wasn't the way it worked but we didn't even it wasn't even soup it was just one tomato sometimes you know inside of a can it wasn't cut up it wasn't i still had the green thing on top right the core i guess it's called they say it says on the can it says uh uh there's tomato soup ready to make or something like i forgot what it was but it was you know right now they used to have these pre-planned meals people get on these uh plans and then and then the box will come over to the house and i guess sometimes it's recipes and sometimes it's just like uh almost like uh what do they call television dinners where the meals already made and put in the little container that's what it was but it was way before and all it was and it said something like just add water just like that right and so you had your tomato and your can for your tomato soup and you would you would get that tomato out and you'd put it in some water and you'd cook it up and and that was the meal that Producer: we had yeah yeah hold on rufus so i think we're going to we're trying to this year's again we might do a whole episode on this maybe a whole season but i think we're still trying to fuck but i think we should oh okay no we're gonna stick with the soup yeah perfect perfect perfect Natty Bumpercar: okay my bad i'm sorry no not your fault at all that that was we had talked about getting off the soup but now the soup has become a tomato in a can um so the precursor to these uh home delivered homemade meals or whatever they're called so wait so rufus tomato got it in a can one tomato any specific kind of tomato did it have like uh like a season packet like anything like that you know like sometimes when you get ramen soup it'll have like the the flavorings are actually there in a packet uh in in the can in the well it's like wrapping cellophane or whatever no um no no was that was that in there no no it was it was nothing Aloysious J. Pig: in the can except for the for the tomato right and here's the funniest thing that we that was like a philosophical question we always had y'all y'all heard about the chicken and the egg i assume right which came first nobody cares but what we want in school we were trying to figure out is how did that tomato get into that can that's okay you're following me that's what you were trying to figure out sorry natty uh i mean the the tomato was put into the can before the can was closed and then the can was closed i mean that's how much how much time we spent in school trying to figure out this big mystery out uh uh oh sir off the conan doyle i am assuming you guys were not what you just made a Natty Bumpercar: okay uh for anyone who doesn't know that's a weird pull aloysius i didn't know that you sir arthur wait sir r arthur arthur that's a hard word to say sir arthur author author arthur wait no i can't do it sir conan doyle sir Aloysious J. Pig: jc doyle what is that so his his name so you can cut off the sir right because when i when i when i grew up with him his name was arty so a

The Bumperpodcast episode revolves around the hosts’ reflections on missing Halloween due to busy schedules and the subsequent confusion about the current date. Natty Bumpercar expresses his love for Halloween, while Aloysius J Pig and Rufus T. Rufus discuss the logistics of returning Halloween decorations and candy. They reminisce about a group costume theme and the challenges of dealing with return policies. The discussion also touches on the transient nature of seasonal stores and the idea for a podcast exploring the history and disappearance of such stores. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: well happy halloween it is halloween finally man my favorite holiday of the year bar none i i love everything about it i love the candy i love going out and finding pumpkins and and carving up the pumpkins and turning them into jack-o'-lanterns and and what what how what really how did oh come on hold on sorry hold on natty it's uh actually almost middle of november at this point i i know i yeah i know i know i understand i like halloween a lot too but it was weeks ago it was like a long time ago i don't know if you fell asleep i don't know what happened i know you've been really busy because you're always telling everybody just how busy you are but uh yeah i hope i got the receipts for all these costumes and i'm looking around the room here we got uh uh decorations we got is that a bobbin for apples we got we got to return all this stuff we can't sell if we ain't having a uh what is a halloween episode right now then what am i what why did i go to the store and and purchase all this yeah how is it how is it middle of november we should probably could have somewhere in here have any kind of indication as to what day it is i yeah no i see the calendar on the wall over there that's from 1987 so that that's not helping me right now okay that doesn't do anything good at all man two weeks ago i completely missed everything i missed halloween Rufus T. Rufus: yes yes it was a long time ago i um we actually we did a group costume right and um i was um it was i was eggs and bacon and aloesius was um orange juice it was and then uh the rufus what were you a scone or an oh no yes you were a biscuit that's right that's right and so we were like a we called ourselves a country breakfast you were supposed to be gravy but you you never showed up to the party and so we we missed it and it's yeah but we we it was a lot of fun yeah i think that's right well we can't do a halloween episode now okay we gotta move on to the future there's a lot of other holidays that are coming up that we need to acknowledge and represent and you know do everything for so uh yeah we let's just we have a lot of episodes left so let's just put the halloween on the shelf and sorry i hurt my back there for a second uh and then we can uh move on to maybe the types of giving or something we can invite turkey to come Natty Bumpercar: and he loves to talk on the podcasts and you hit some story and everything right seven an entire holiday i don't even care that i missed two weeks of life but i did i missed i missed i missed halloween what have i been so busy doing what why have i completely managed to miss and ignore and miss not really ignore but i missed halloween how did that even happen somebody got it in the head that somebody had to have a comedy festival they were like oh look at me out of nowhere i'm just gonna invent it inventicate invent invent them uh invent just invent i think a comedy festival and and and you did that and now it's it's you know coming up really soon and it might have already happened i don't even know because i have completely removed myself from that situation and uh yeah maybe you started to miss a lot of things in life because you're doing such a giant ridiculous thing it's like you know uh hey wait you guys went and played uh putt-putt mini golf without me what where was i you were building a rocket ship you know it's like you got bigger things on your plate right now and we didn't want to bother you so you missed country breakfast halloween kind of amazing won the costume contest that's right everybody high five in the air high five there you go never won it i've never even been like in the rankings of a costume contest and i i was i was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween i've never been gravy i've never been a condiment i've just been you know it's whatever i can find but rufus i got i got so wait we have all this stuff around all these like decorations and all this can't like can you i guess if it's if we've missed it and if we're not going to do halloween for this episode if we're going to just move on to something completely different what um can we return the stuff it's like do you have all the stuff is that something that can you yeah i do i do have receipts um however we got Rufus T. Rufus: everything you know when there's a uh a building it was maybe a business and maybe it was just like um you know uh just like a lean through with some sticks and then people aren't there anymore and then the second you blink and it's um september and then all of a sudden it's a halloween store you know it's like there was a hospital over there oh my goodness the hospital close the halloween store like that you know hey remember when we used to go to the park and there was that fun little ice cream place down the corner that's a halloween store we went to one of those right but the thing is once you go to the halloween store you buy the things if you ever try to go Natty Bumpercar: i was wondering about that because i put it up in my maps on my telephone here and i said uh halloween store and it was trying to send me to sacramento that's far away and i said uh halloween store uh close to me and it didn't understand what that so i said uh halloween store near my location and then the phone had had the gall the guff to say to me uh would you like me to use your current location i said well of course i do i said i what i said was i was looking near my local of course i want you to use my current location i'm not gonna just inventify some place that i'm gonna be in the next hour and 37 minutes like i want to know right now if i wanted to know then then i would i would be asking you then little little map little little map robot i don't even know what his name is but he needs he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude i don't know if you have been driving around with this this little robot and he's always like turn left and i'm like i'm in the right lane i can't turn left right now little robot and he's like you missed just you missed your chance mister your your your new nickname is mr chance because you missed your chance and now you're gonna recalculate why are we still using 2020 whatever this is using the term recalculate you ain't recalculating nothing you just going back into the map and and fixing my flub why don't you call it uh flub refixing or something like that all right because now i'm getting heated i'm getting angry anyway i tried to go back to that halloween store the one where i bought all this stuff because i i forgot i forgot to get the little wax uh vampire teeth that we were gonna have we're gonna have a little game and then i went back it was gone like tumbleweeds in the store gone i think that maybe not this podcast clearly because we can't we can't do this but some podcast needs to do some research do a deep dive maybe one season is where do all these stores go and then where do they come from you know they just appear out of night it's like oh empty shopping center it's a halloween store yeah and then uh whenever i don't know the strike of midnight on november you know i don't know the day because i don't know if they're open like a day after i don't know but where do all these things go where do the employees go are they sucked back down into like some hole in the ground or do they go to like a warehouse in caucasus something like that that is new jersey uh that sounds like a terrible podcast it sounds like it would be maybe one maybe one episode it would couldn't just consist i guess you could pad it out a little bit you know do the when i was growing up we always read a lot of stories and heard a lot of stories and heard a lot of tales about stuff you know and then like you know when i was you could do the everybody meet everybody in town and how they could talk about when i was here this was a lot of stories and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry skippers store we used to go to skippers all the time whatever it is and then uh you know and then like and then and you know like the first episode is just like the build-up to what the town used to be and you know what now i'm seeing it you can make an entire season out of this that's fine you know and then the halloween store came but no one knew you know it's okay i'm gonna give it that but anyway so uh rufus did you went back to get the wax teeth but they weren't there i think it's my understanding that we do have receipts for a lot of this stuff i don't does anybody who's if we're not going to do a halloween episode who's going to be in charge of of returning all i think as long as you understand it's not going to be me because i'm not comfortable uh going to the return desk because i just feel like i'm being judged you know they've got like several different lines but the lines aren't aren't labeled as anything and so you you get in the wrong line and sometimes maybe there's other people in the lines and you go hey you try to clean up buddy up buddy system hey what are you in here for you know what what are y

The Bumperpodcast episode opens with an apology from Natty Bumpercar for last week’s episode, which had no audio but was voted the favorite by listeners. Aloysius J. Pig reveals the episode’s popularity, leading to a humorous discussion about the podcast’s cast, including Rufus T. Rufus, the producer, and various recurring characters like Doodle Poodle. The conversation meanders through personal anecdotes, name jokes, and a brief discussion about improving escalators with LED lights and music. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: no but it's what i hold because what i'm saying is it was we made a mistake and i oh hey uh bumper podcast kateers it's me natty bumper car this is the bumper podcast yada yada yada thank you for listening um we're starting the episode off this week with an apology evidently last week we recorded an episode that's not the evidently part but it went out with no audio which for a podcast is um what i have read a very important piece uh hey actually hey natty it's me always just jpeg um and i was looking over the numbers with producer and uh i didn't know that they even had this but that evidently that was voted uh everyone's favorite episode of the bumper podcast ever like out of all the episodes out of all the listings everything that one top of the peak the number one it's not even like uh what do they call it recency bias or nothing like that they just just the words they were saying about this thing they said it's it's perfect it's the best episode we've ever listened to of this podcast really of any podcast uh make more like this but there was no audio there was nothing nobody there was no oh now i get what you're doing okay no now i see i see what you're doing and it makes sense that was their favorite episode of the podcast because there was no audio so they didn't have to listen to all of the rigmarole the shenanigans the uh hold on there natty uh you know you can't just go throwing around words like uh rigmarole shenanigans you know you yep yep what you're doing there is you're pointing the finger at everybody else here on the bumper podcast myself included hello everybody my name is rufus t rufus i'm the i was going to say the legal lawyer around here but i'm the local legal lawyer and and uh i just want to make sure that i keep natty that i keep you in line and i keep you in check all right because we want to make sure that you ain't just out there willy-nilly talking about whatever stuff Producer: you were saying before yeah no so listen i don't care about what wherever words is he saying the thing i think that it's hurting me everybody hello my name is producer i'm the producer of the podcast and it's not a nickname it's like i was born and my name was producer and i'm a frog and then people are like oh i wonder what you're going to be when you grow up and hop off the lily pad are you going to be a farmer and i was just like i don't know i don't have any plans really and then lo and behold the way life went i ended up being here as a producer which is fine it's a you know it's okay i guess you're okay business if you can get into it but then you know you release one episode with no audio and everybody's all of a sudden like they are they're the producers at home and they're like oh you know you didn't push the button that makes the thing out there over there that with the audio in the wav files and mp3s and you know all these technical terms that i know a lot about but everybody knows yeah settle down there uh that producer also i didn't know that Natty Bumpercar: i was i didn't honestly i didn't know that was your actual name i thought your name was something like fred or something uh uh delores i don't i don't i don't uh uh i don't know i was going to think of a name with an r at the beginning but i can't eat roger that's a name that begins with an r uh w name winfred willifred i thought your name could have been willifred um but evidently your name is actually producer which is very convenient and helpful for us i gotta say that this podcast is never helpful okay um usually it's very convoluted and confusing and uh people are like what's happening what am i listening to what is going on but with you breath of fresh air uh they're like oh wait okay so that one's name is producer and uh and then they produce okay good perfect where where's host host hosty to make some hosts hosty that's no it's just there's it's not like his name is producery or anything like that it's just producer and so if you're asking where the host is i that's me natty bumper car um and your name is aloe jay pig you see how that worked out uh there sometimes there's a robot on the show every his name is is robot so that's very very um you know smart naming uh that we're doing there uh yeah producer you're just you're okay that's that's that's cool rufus t rufus you're that's your name um of course there's i'm trying to think of other people who sometimes come on the show there's uh there's there's doodle poodle Doodle Poodle: hi natty that's me doodle poodle i'm of course a dog a poodle who likes to doodle Unknown: oh Doodle Poodle: what's up does anybody want to do some drawings with me or anything Natty Bumpercar: we're good doodle poodle thanks for stopping by natty listen he's not like on the movie where you got to say his name three times the the second you get into the fourth syllable of this you know the second syllable of the second word so the fourth syllable he's already running down the hall thinking you know this is his big shot um yes okay i get it pig uh poodle um uh but your name's not like natty host your name's natty bumper car which makes no i don't even listen people come up to me in the street and they go so is that actually his real name and i say yeah his name is rufus t rufus it's you know it's the same forward and back i guess i don't know and they're like no no no no no no no the other one yeah i'm i'm i don't i don't appreciate you bringing my name into this uh but i do kind of like that uh people do bring me up for i'm what you would call consider a uh fan favorite at this point uh voted most likely to be succeeding from the bumper podcast uh king i was a king of prom at the bumper podcast that one year uh i brought in the most donations at one time president of the class of the the bumper the bumper podcast i have a lot of uh superlatives that i like you know that i i've earned over the years and i'm proud of it you know and i just want people to know about yeah of course so i i am not just rufus t rufus i am so much more than that Producer: all right i agree and oh my goodness i am so sorry i am yawning it has nothing to do Natty Bumpercar: with you going on and on uh listing everything that was in no way made up all the superlatives that you have earned um anyway yeah so uh yes that is sure it's my real name pig why did you don't have to engage with these people they uh it was actually my family like um you know cousins yeah and my kids okay grandpa's a family reunion okay gotcha yeah so i felt like i had to understood thank you all right i'm not i'm not gonna go to a family reunion where they're like we're kind of worried about you are you sure that this is the right career path for you and i'm like yeah it's going well then they're like but his name uh is it bumper car seems to be a strange name is all i'm saying yeah and again i okay i totally agree uh but i think what i had to ask in that situation is you can just you can take it you know listen to them and you know i don't know just kind of agree and uh walk away or something i don't know i thought we were pals we're not even if y'all pals the the blood uh the family family reunion is thicker than any kind of water or substance uh or whatever it is you know that we have going on here we're kind of like a work family right you know we come in i assume i'm like uh i don't know uh i'm the funny uncle uh uh let's see here uh uh uh natty you're like that the uncle that gave up a long time ago um aloe vicious you know i'm gonna you're gonna be like the den leader i assume yeah that's perfect that's what i've always Producer: aimed to be for this group the den leader yeah and so let's see here we have the funny cousin her uncles the cut the the for the day i don't i forgot all the things you just said but what is what does that leave open for me like what did i possibly be in this whole scenario oh producer anytime i hear the word Natty Bumpercar: scenario i get excited here we here we go here we go no how does it here we go y'all yo here we go yo say something something scenario you guys know that song what song i'm talking about out of all the terrible things that you haven't done on this podcast that was by far the worst one i've ever heard you took a classic song of the uh hip-hop genre and you uh you did that to it it's you know it's got a flow it's supposed to have a flow like here we go yo here we go yo yeah it's boom bap boom bap not whatever elevator music now hold on there's elevator music right but what is the escalator music did that was that ever a thing can we invent that little speakers oh you know what i'm talking about we do escalators of the future right when you go to get your car washed you go in and there's rainbow lights everywhere and it's this big exciting adventure oh it's rainbows and it's cool let's do that with escalators so you're going down and and it's got like uh led lights won't be bomb lights you know cool lights and uh i don't know some sort of a like a soundtrack right you know and it can become like that movie with a dude stepping on the piano and uh and you know so everyone's kind of playing with each other and it's it just seems like it'll bring the community together all right well i i i'm gonna admit i i hold on i don't not like that i do like that i think it's a nice idea espec

Natty Bumpercar announced co-producing the Montclair Comedy Festival in Montclair, New Jersey, from November 13-15. The idea stemmed from his job loss and subsequent anxiety attack. Natty secured the festival’s URL, trademarked the name, and assembled a committee to review over 100 applicants. He built a website and an app for ticketing and show announcements. The festival gained support from venues and Eventbrite. Natty highlighted the importance of inclusivity and the role of his friend Suzanne in organizing the event. Despite challenges, the festival is on track, and Natty feels accomplished and excited. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: all right i'm gonna get to it right now i'm gonna get to the point we're not gonna doddle i have fun exciting news and i want to tell you about it before anyone even comes in the studio and bothers me or interrupts me or tries to tell me something silly hi this is natty bumper car with a bumper podcast and the cool news is that i'm helping co-produce the montclair comedy festival in montclair new jersey november 13th 14th and 15th and i am like so beyond excited i have wanted to do a festival type thing for a long time i've done benefits i produce shows uh we you know all kinds of stuff but finally like i don't know what happened but something in me just uh oh wait that's right i got laid off from my job and then i had an anxiety attack and i didn't sleep for like three days and that's not good but the good thing that came out of that was a festival which is strange but that's what happened i uh i got laid off on a thursday and i uh immediately just went into a shell inside myself in the corner and um i was kind of rocking back and forth in the corner and then i rocked too hard i and i bumped and i the shell cracked open and i was and there i was And I thought, I got to do something. I can't just sit here and be sad. Let's go. We got to figure this out. And so I started thinking, Montclair Comedy Festival. Montclair has Montclair Pride. They have the Jazz Fest. They have a literary festival. They have Montclair Film. The Walnut Street Fair. I don't know. That's different. But you get the point. There's a lot of stuff going on in Montclair. And there used to be a comedy club there, right there on Bloomfield Avenue. It was called Rascals, and it's not there anymore. And so I said, well, that's strange. Let me research this to see if it exists. And I looked up Montclair Comedy Festival, and there was nothing. So I got super excited, and I went and I got the URL, montclaircomedyfestival.com. And then I went and I got all the socials. And then what did I do? I went and trademarked the name. And I don't know if you know this, but I actually helped produce a show there for like 15 years. On every Sunday night for 15 years. Rain or sleet or snow, but not ice. And not big time sports games. Sports games? Yeah, sports games. And it was great. It was at a place called Tierney's Pub, and it's on Valley Road. And it was upstairs, and when the pandemic hit, it kind of went away. And I think everything went away. And I was kind of like, oh, okay, there goes Tierney's. And the main person whose show it was, her name was Pat Grillon. And she went away. She just said, no more for me. And she passed away, which is horrible and depressing and sad. But, you know, I kind of didn't know what to do because it was her show. And for people who don't know, it's her fault that I started doing comedy again, really. When we moved up here from Georgia, I started doing it a little bit back there when we were in Georgia. But I had no intention. I was kind of… I was like, it's done with me. Okay. And then I passed this place, and it had a big banner outside. And it's like, comedy, Sundays, blah, blah, blah, beer thing, whatever, special. And I was like, huh, all right. And finally, I got up the gumption. I don't know. It wasn't like I didn't get up the gumption of the courage. I just finally remembered to pull in. And so I did that on a Sunday, and I went up. There was up these stairs, very steep stairs, very creaky stairs. And I got to the attic where it was and walked in. And there was just this woman there. And I was like, hey, this is who I am. This is my story. I want to… And she was like, okay. Like, immediately. That's what she did. And so then she gave me a date, and off we went. And really just… So great. So wonderful. And then over the years, I just kind of ended up trying to be as big of a help as I could, just because I could learn, and I could get more stage time, and I could host a lot, and I could figure stuff out. And it was a great learning experience. But then again, when the pandemic happened, and when she passed away, I was kind of like, all right, well, comedy was fun. Comedy was great. And I don't want to do it anymore. But then it came back. We started doing outdoor shows. Some people did a lot of Zoom shows. I only did a few because I found it very confusing to be sitting on my couch, staring at people in their little squares. And then they're like, all right, it's your turn. And having to turn on your microphone and be like, ah, here's my jokes. Ah. Anyway. So what happened? What happened? What happened? Oh, yeah, outdoor shows. And then my pal Suzanne, she found a place called LaSara Gardens, which is next town over. And I guess they have a stage in the back. And she was walking around one day, and she just went to the owner, like just went to her and said, hey, could we have a show here, comedy show? And like, I don't. I have no concept on how you do that. But she did. And good for her. Because we've been doing shows there for like three years. Sweet and sour comedy, right? And so we've been doing shows there. We've been doing private shows. We've been doing benefits. Kind of all sorts of stuff. And that's been wonderful. And then last year, I don't know if you remember, but I was talking about Jaws the musical. And we were producing that as sweet and sour comedy. We were in it. And we applied and got into the. New York Fringe Festival, which was super cool and super weird and different and scary for me because I had not I don't I had to learn songs at a learn lines. I had to sing songs, you know, and I had to they did blocking. What does that mean? That's what you're supposed to be. What do you mean? When we had the specific time that you say that you're supposed to look over there and be over there and then do that. And it's just like, oh, I have to. OK, I have to put all of that into my brain. And it's like. It's like an hour long thing. Perfect. Great. This is going to work out well. Well, it did. It was fun. And the festival happened and it went great. And, you know, it was a big experience and another big learning thing. And then we kept doing shows back to the stand up stuff, the normal stuff. And then, you know, I'd kind of talked about festival stuff every so often, but it just seemed like a big impossible thing. And then when I got laid off. On a Thursday and then I had the panic attack, I just I did all that stuff. I found a URL and then I built the Web site and I all this stuff was just like I figured out the structure of how I wanted to get people into the festival as far as like them applying. And I got a committee of people from around the country and so that they could watch the videos and fill out a rubric and they would take the rankings from that. And we put it into spreadsheets. So we had all the rankings and we were able to look at different aspects of their rankings and, you know, just like kind of do it from a more fair perspective than just, hey, we're having a festival. Hey, we're going to have all of our friends on it. You know, that's that's that's something that's fine if that's what you want to do. But I was trying to make it just a more inclusive thing. Right. I didn't even watch the videos because I wanted to be hands off from that. And we had over 100. People apply, which is bananas to me and kind of in the same time as that. Oh, wait. So so I went to Suzanne on like Monday or Tuesday and I was like, hey, we're having a festival. She's like, what? And I was like, Montclair Comedy Festival. And she's like, when next year? And I was like, November. And this was in like May or June or something. And she was like, no, too much, too fast. No. And I was like. It's all done because in my head it was. And, you know, we got we got all of the people applying and then we started talking to venues and everybody was super receptive. And we're like three weeks away. It's it's I don't know what date it is today, but it's sometime in October, mid-October. And then that's in mid-November. And it's going so great. It's so weird. Like I had to build and develop. An app for the website to pull in all the ticketing stuff from Eventbrite, which is like our ticketing platform. And they reached out to us to be our official ticketing platform. They reached out to us. It's weird. Who are we? Sweet and sour. And, you know, how to learn how to do press releases. And then I built this cool app for the website also, where when the people got into accepted to the festival, they were like, oh, we're going to do this. And then I built this cool app for the website also, where when the people got into accepted to the festival, they were like, oh, we're going to do this. And then I built this cool app for the website also, where when the people got into accepted to the festival, they were like, oh, we're going to do this. They have a page where they could go and they can actually just they can pick three skins and then they upload their picture and they're able to move their photo around in the pictures. And then it's like Montclair Comedy Festival and then in the date. And it's kind of like an announcement like, look at me. I'm in this thing. And people used it. And it was gr

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Rufus T. Rufus tries to pick up where he left off in the last episode, where he was telling the gang all about how he had fallen in love. As can be expected, he doesn’t get very far … You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, there is a song. A nifty song. Then everyone is distracted when Rufus falls for an internet scheme … of love? You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Full Transcript Rufus T. Rufus: now as i was saying last episode i was talking about being in love and i can't wait to tell y'all all about it that's right i rufus yeah t rufus Natty Bumpercar: and finally in love okay that's great and amazing that you actually are remembering what we did in the last episode and you've decided to continue it because that's not something we normally do we are not very good at being a serialized podcast um normally we record an episode and then uh by the time we walk out of the studio uh everybody's forgotten everything what and Rufus T. Rufus: hold on you're okay but that you wait no i know yeah you don't know your voice sounds insane today like uh and you you had like a weird lisp now i'm doing it what's going on is it is it catching is it is it hey producer can you look up is this some sort of a lisp uh lisp all right that's that's rough lisp thing going around Producer: sorry sorry i am all right something in my throat is probably a frog Rufus T. Rufus: it's not a frog in my throat all right well you know uh evidently uh let's see here that little froggy producer over there he's got a little bit of a uh a cough a little tickle in his throat uh nutty you're up there i heard you with having a problem with your s's uh now listen to me i'm the only one here who can speak i can say lisp with no problem whatsoever okay i can say sally's selling seashells down by the studebaker at the seashore no problem but you know so i guess it's gonna be my episode today finally we're gonna focus on some real issues uh and and that's me my life and and me being in love no i'm fine i just it's we've never recorded an episode Natty Bumpercar: this early in the morning and i do i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know feel like i've properly woken up it is and it's not really that early but it's it's seven o'clock in the morning and uh normally that we're not recording a podcast at this time but that's what we're doing today because we have so many cool things to talk about and yeah so we got to talk Rufus T. Rufus: about my me being in love no i'm pretty sure that that's not on the uh docket i'm pretty sure that's not on the whiteboard it's we are not that's not what we're doing today um but natty take it away Natty Bumpercar: okay yeah uh and if i if i'm to be honest the stuff i'm going to talk about now feels kind of weird and boring and uh i mean it's cool uh i mean but you know rufus is in love so it feels like that's kind of important too and i don't know if that i just i mean the stuff we're taught i don't know producer what do you think yeah well i um sorry Producer: i had a little drink and my throat feels better the water is good for me i'm i think that we have already wasted almost four minutes of this podcast four minutes of everyone's life who is listening that they'll never get back and they're oh my goodness this is my for me you know and uh we could have already probably talked about the rufus whole situation and been done right and then you could talk about whatever it is you want to talk about but uh instead you know we just kind of keep going back and forth rufus is in love natty's good stuff to talk about and then everybody is on their bicycle or run their train whatever they however they listen to this and they're going well i don't know it's gonna talk about it are they gonna talk about anything at all i don't know it's kind of going back and forth and you know they're doing that in their in their head i'm hoping maybe they're looking around at other people if they're on a train and they're saying they're listening to this maybe that maybe maybe she's listening maybe that she's frustrated i can see her brow is furrowed but maybe she's frustrated because she's now listening to this and and she's at the same part maybe i am randomly you know and and she's like well they're gonna talk about anything and nobody knows because nobody they don't ever know if they're gonna talk about can we just i'm just i'm struggling you're struggling yes you're struggling Rufus T. Rufus: uh natty over there he's being strictly business and what i'm talking about is is is is is i'm stuck in an is loop there is a matter of the heart it's a matter of the soul it's it's it's i'm not doing it again all right maybe i'm a little bit emotional maybe that's why i keep getting stuck now normally i come on here and i talk about the law right as i'm a lawyer but right now we're talking about a little bit we're getting a little bit deeper in with rufus little we're going past the skin we're taking back a few layers and we're looking at what makes him tick his heart right i'm a romantic everybody didn't know that but now you do i'm a i'm a man about flowers i'm gonna give you chocolates i'm gonna hold your hand at the beach and and we're gonna uh make fun of seagulls whatever you do at the beach i don't really go to the beach i'm afraid of it uh the water i don't this is gonna come get me i have dreams uh but i'm i'm what i'm saying is i'm here for you and i'm i'm ready to talk about my my relationship okay so uh natty producer has a point we were at uh when were we we were at four minutes now we're at six minutes and uh so we're really burning through the podcast and ain't talked about nothing and so uh let's i say we let rufus say his thing yeah and then we'll move on we can talk about your stuff at the end we'll give it a Natty Bumpercar: good good segment all right that's fine i i don't even remember what i was i was excited to talk about some stuff and now i don't even remember what it was um i kind of checked out on the podcast a while ago um yeah okay go rufus go ahead and tell us whatever you i don't i'm excited to hear about it i'm excited to hear about it i'm excited to hear about it i'm excited to hear about it i know it doesn't you don't hear it my voice but i'm gonna blame it on being tired and um having a plan and that being just thrown away so let's focus on what we're doing and rufus t Rufus T. Rufus: rufus you're in love i can't tell us about it yeah well natty i can tell by the tone of your voice that you was not sincere you was insincere right there and that's fine because you're a man who doesn't know about love you're a man who doesn't know about the magic of a relationship you know and uh that's that's unfortunate for you but that's a you problem and for me i'm gonna talk about what makes me happy and everybody out there who's listening they're gonna maybe it's gonna put a little pep in this step today all right so um well let's see here yeah instead of you just rambling i'll do that uh where did where did you meet where where's this where's who is this person where are they from yeah i like this this is good we're Producer: gonna interview you okay here we go and where are they from rufus well remember last last time we Rufus T. Rufus: was talking about the applications and the uh on my telephone and uh there's the games i like to play there's the one with the little jewels one that looks like candy candy but candy that's jewels but that it attacks you and there's a monkey i think and there's a it's in space i should mention that uh underwater space just go okay it's uncharted yeah sorry yeah anyway um so there's Natty Bumpercar: a chat feature in these games and uh oh okay okay okay i remember we were talking about the games and you were giving them your credit card you're giving all the information and um oh oh um is this is this where you met the love of your life rufus now you know natty sometimes we had a problem Rufus T. Rufus: where people don't like you right and and i think that's the problem i think that's the problem i think it's because of your tone i can normally i can't hear it but when it's directed towards me i can i can actually i understand where the people are coming from like you're saying words but there's something in them something under them right and and and and and uh i don't i don't i don't appreciate it and i don't like it all right yeah i met her on a game and and she had a cool name i think it was uh rainbow but there was no uh no vowels in there so r n b w rainbow and and then some numbers and uh and somehow she put one of them emojis in there little there's like a little uh upside down smiling kitty cat right now it's just that's just who she is she's just an individual she's perfect right and uh so we got to chatting oh boy i think this is an issue no no no no yeah we told you to stay away from the games because of stuff like this okay no no no this is completely different all right this is this is a real person rainbow numbers and then smile that uh i have i've built and fostered a real kinship with right we just started out we was on the same team and uh playfully you know talking back and forth yeah uh we share a lot of interests okay how did you share or yeah i would say stuff i was interested in and and she would say that she Natty Bumpercar: very much interested as well okay that made me happy did she ever like initiate that like what she was interested in or was it just mostly coming from you and then she would agree well Rufus T. Rufus: a lot of it did come from me because uh so she was on the uh front lines of the game the offense right the right out right out there in the fringe so she couldn't chat as much as me i was what they i was in the defense i was back i was crouched right back in the bushes but nobody could see me and so i would you know chat it up a lot and she would respond pretty short but it's always very Producer: sweet and uh uh and and and hold on is this uh the person i remember you were saying you could the language you could uh start without you could

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Aloysius explains a phenomenal new idea for the podcast – you can’t wait to hear it! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: oh no oh is it happening i'm not sure hey aloysius yeah get on over here what is this Aloysious J. Pig: it sounds like a song yeah i'm rolling rolling rolling everybody knows i'm rolling rolling i'm a ball i'm a ball i'm up on the hill and i'm rolling go hey paul are you a chicken i think Natty Bumpercar: that you're a chicken everybody knows that i love little chicken hey everybody slow everybody just Rufus T. Rufus: think this song could be great if you don't say stupid stuff um no you're in my head and i don't Doodle Poodle: know what to say i love the music and i love the beat but i don't know what to say i agree this was Natty Bumpercar: fun but then all of a sudden there's rules and stuff and i don't know what i'm supposed to do and i don't know what i'm supposed to say is this dumb i feel like this is dumb am i being dumb right now yeah Rufus T. Rufus: okay if you gotta ask then you're probably being dumb if you gotta ask this you know the song is done how about that producer shut it down now wow you know that was that was fun we haven't done a little song like that in a long time so i understand we're a little bit out of practice but honestly uh producer that the the the the the the beats the jams the rhythm it was all so much fun i was i was astounded by it great job yeah no i heard uh i was i was a little bit out of my mind I was over in the kitchen, right? I was going to make myself a little sound. And I heard a calamity over here, the ruckus, if you will, the music. And I said to myself, I'm going to hold off on this sandwich and go see what everybody's up to over in the studio. And I came over, and y'all looked so happy, smiling, and your head's bopping to the beat. And then I stopped listening to the words, what you're saying, and I said, I gave up my sandwich for this? This is what I can't, I could have stayed over in the kitchen, is what I'm saying. Yeah, well, again, I was having fun. Natty Bumpercar: I think it's okay to have fun and for it not to be perfect. And if it's a little silly, or if you make mistakes, because that's kind of how you learn, is by doing. And we haven't done a song in so long. Rufus T. Rufus: And then right when we came in, I heard the music, and I was like, this, let's, you know, I didn't expect it, and I didn't know it was going to happen, but was I excited? Yes, very. And was I ready? Not so much. I don't even have my rhyme book. You guys, if I'm to be honest, I don't even, I didn't bring it in today. You know, I brought these receipts. I brought, this seems to be a candy wrapper. This is a napkin. I just, I have garbage. I have garbage in my pocket here, but I don't have my rhymes. So, you know, I just kind of went with it, and I don't know. Now, Natty? This is, I hear you. This is all valid. I appreciate you. Producer: Um. Yeah, it's really, you guys are doing great with the therapy, right? We're doing group therapy, and so sometimes we all get together, and we talk, you know? And so we were trying to figure out how to not fight on the podcast as much, and we, so we, so now what we're going to do is we're going to bring in another person, a third party, and talk to them about it so that we could kind of, you know, stop, again, fighting on the podcast. Rufus T. Rufus: Wait, you guys actually did that? I thought that was a joke. I thought, I saw, I saw, I saw, I saw the message come across, you know, but what happens with me is, on my devices, you know, I'll be there playing the games with the, you know, it's like a, I don't know, some sort of word game, but there's like little animals, and there's like, you have to do, it's a fun game. They say it tests your mind. It brings elasticity to your brain, and so I was sitting there playing, and bloop, there goes a message, right? And it said, uh, uh, uh, schedule group, uh, group therapy bumper podcast. And I, and I said, oh, well, now this is interesting. And I went to click on it, and it had already disappeared. And what happens, I clicked an, an, an advertisement, and, uh, I guess the game, uh, is, you've got these little ads, so you don't got to pay for it necessarily. And, and then all of a sudden, I'm in this space game, and it's like, you got to save the, the princess, the planet, the princess of planets or something, planets of princesses. And I said, oh, my word, you know, and I got into it, because I, I, you know, you throw me into a situation like that, and I'm going to step up, because that's what I do. And, and I, you know, I said, all right, let's go. And then, uh, honestly, uh, it was an ad that you couldn't even, I felt like I was playing, but I, nothing, I wasn't controlling nothing. But what I did was I went in, I played the game, I gave them my credit card information, and, uh, they, they took it very willingly, I'll say. And, uh, now the game has turned into, uh, me, uh, working with my bank and trying to, to, well, they took, they took everything, the, the, the, the princess planets. They took all my, all my money. And, uh. Rufus? What were we talking about? Okay, Rufus, okay. We're going to, we're going to put a pin in that, because we're going to, we have, obviously got to come back to, um, hmm, you giving out your credit card information and now losing all of the, your money. Um, oh, pig, I thought we were supposed to, like, cut him off from the, um, the outside stuff. I thought it was just, you know, the games are fine, but as long as they just are on the phone and they're not, you know, whatever, going around into the world, you're not, you're not, like, talking to anybody on these games, are you? Well, I mean, it's not so much as a, as a, as a talk. Uh, I'm happy to say I didn't cross that line. But what it is, is they make you a, a, a, an avatar. You know, I, you see you sit there and you can design it. And I put, uh, look at me. I'm like a, a, a kitten is what my, I made it. It's orange, got some stripes, you know. I put some fun of glasses on them, fun of hat. And, uh, I named them. Now, hold on. It's Kool Cat, but with all, with all, it's K-U-L-K-A-T. Yeah, Kool, Kool. It looks like it says Kull Cat, but, uh, the regular Kool Cat was taken, and Kool Cat, uh, all the way up to 49 was taken. Kool Cat 1, Kool Cat 2, all the way. And so I said, all right, let's, let's mix this up a little bit. And so what I did was, uh, K-O-O-L Cat, uh, and that was also taken way up into the numbers. And I said, all right, let's kind of mix this up a little bit. And then I figured out, uh, U can sound, if you do it right, if you look at it, you know, kind of to the side, that U, it's going to sound like the, the, uh, ooh, right? So Kool, Kool Cat was my name. Okay, stop, stop. So I think we've, we've, again, we've lost the thread here a little bit. So are you speaking to, are the people, are you talking to people online? Is, is this something where you're communicating with your, uh, Kool Cat? Well, no, so I didn't, I did not, uh, pay for this, this part of it. So I, I did not speak necessarily because you gotta, you know, I gotta, I think you gotta be a level 1700 or whatever it is to unlock the microphone, you know? And that's when I think the communication really starts. But what they allow you to do early on in the game so that you can build a communication, is you take your avatar, again, I'm Kool Cat, and you can type in and you can say like, well, okay, you actually can't even type in at the, at the state, I'm looking forward. Now, what I can do is I can just choose little, little word like bubbles, you understand? And so I can click it and it goes like, yee-haw, right? Yee-haw, like that. And, uh, and you can do one and it just goes, wah-wah. Like a sad thing, right? So right now I'm at, I'm at kind of the base of communication. Yeah. But that's why I know that this is real. Well, so I don't, okay. There's a lot to unpack here. Um, so you are communicating, but it's just through, uh, basic phrases. How many, how many phrases do you have unlocked? Do you unlock more phrases as you go? Yeah, yeah. The higher the levels, or the more you pay, the, the, the more you can communicate. Yeah. This is actually, this whole thing, this game, they built it. It's around, uh, communicating with people all around the world. I have, I have friends. I have a friend in, uh, Bengalidoo. I have a friend in, uh, uh, Washon, I think it is. Uh, uh, there's places just all around. I don't even know if these places are real, but that's just what it says under the name, you understand? So I don't even know if I'm talking to actual people or not. Uh, just, just a quick search. I looked up, uh, Bengalidoo, not a place. There is a place called Washon, but that's as, it's as like a series of restaurants. There's like Washon 1, Washon 17, the real Washon, the original Washon. So I, that, I don't know if it's an actual place, but it is, it is, uh, there are things that come up if I search for that. Uh, so, um, back, is this the person that took your, your, your credit card information and your money and everything? Oh, good job, Pig. Let's, yeah, good. Get him back on track. Uh, so Rufus, um, is, is, is this the game that you put your information in or, or is this a different game? Well, again, this, this one here is not really a game so much as a, as a social experiment is what they say. They say we're going to take communication back to its root, right? You know, cause when you first start, you don't even have these phrases. You just, it's like, uh, there's, there's some lines, right? There's like one that's like bent down and that looks like a sad face. Just, just, just a bent down line. And so you can walk up to people and depending on your day, how you're feeling, you j

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty tries to explain where he has been and what he has been doing, and why he hasn’t been recording – and no one is having any of his malarky! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: so i'm imagining and i'm guessing and i don't know that everyone has probably been wondering Aloysious J. Pig: where i am like what no no actually no natty i just want to jump in before you get all on your whole thing oh everybody wants to know where they've been everybody wants to know why you haven't been recording everybody wants they don't no one cares anymore okay it's been like a year or something since you've just been like oh i guess i'll record this episode and now i'm gonna wait six years or whatever it is you're doing yeah i don't know if anybody cares anymore if Natty Bumpercar: i'm to be honest okay well that's harsh but i do appreciate your um being forth right forthwith forth i don't i appreciate you being forth with me so now you're making little jokes because Aloysious J. Pig: you're uncomfortable or whatever i get it all right it's forthright you know this and i except somebody's got to tell it to you straight somebody's got to give it to you okay so you have a podcast you're doing well you got numbers you're growing and then all of a sudden what i don't know what happened to you but you're just yeah you'll yeah you just oh okay well Natty Bumpercar: there's a little bit of success i'm gonna run away from from that i don't think i did that but maybe i don't know is that something i subconsciously did oh that's definitely something i'm gonna bring up with my therapist right because maybe yeah okay i'll i'll take that because i know that every so often i'm doing great with the podcast and then i just there's a shiny object and i run over to it and and and maybe that's the case here i'm gonna Aloysious J. Pig: look really quick to see when the last yeah oh wow july july like 19th or something like that and then before that one it was like in june okay so it's you didn't do two in june good for you two in may but like it's just this is this is untenable so what i'm saying is if we're gonna do the podcast i'd love to do the podcast if you're just gonna come on once a month and say the same everybody wants to know where you've been i don't know i might have other things to do with my life i know you know i'm sure i don't even see rufus ain't here he's probably off fishing or whatever he does taking his summer break and and uh excuse me there's a lot of sawdust in here producer yeah produce are you awake i'm awake Producer: sorry i was there's been a lot of i thought it was construction dust but he's actually just because we don't come in here anymore so it's just layers and piles of dust you know we could do like one of those core samples like they do on trees and we can actually dig down into the dust and we could see like when it was i don't know raining or maybe it was an ice age or i don't know how it works or anything but anyway nappy i agree with uh the uh the with aloysius that um you know this is what i do i've just been sitting in this room i actually had a layer of dust over myself as well and i would appreciate let's just record some shots okay yeah i okay i'm yes i agree Natty Bumpercar: i'm sorry and i agree wait i agree with both of you and i'm sorry that i haven't been recording and i agree that i'm sorry i think that covers everything but here i'm just going to explain what i've been doing what's been going on okay because it's kind of important to me that i'm um i don't even know if i told you i lost my job yeah everybody knows okay you're basic i mean Aloysious J. Pig: yeah i guess you didn't put up uh uh like a sky writing but you you did you really put it out there oh woe is me woe is natty i lost my job and then you had you wrote something you was on some show and you got voted off kicked off i don't know what that was but yeah so we are all up to Natty Bumpercar: date on that okay well cool so that weekend that was on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a thursday that that happened then the friday saturday sunday for some reason i um had this just anxiety uh of stuff that was inside my brain and i i anxiety created uh a comedy festival which is not something that i think normal people do i don't understand that you do what do you you Producer: say you you you just you just oh like you say i made a festival it doesn't seem like you know just like anybody can like oh bing i just waited willie mammoth okay or did you what exactly i don't understand what you mean you did yeah did Aloysious J. Pig: you hear they actually are working on the willie mammoth okay i don't know if maybe the people doing that got laid off from their jobs and then they were all of a sudden they were like you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna i'm gonna make a big furry elephant thing or or or or what but uh yeah i said it's were you reading the news or something while we were gone there's a lot of news about this willie mammoth thing going i don't know if i agree with it but uh i don't know if i disagree with it i probably disagree with it but who knows okay i i have opinions i just don't Natty Bumpercar: have this opinion evidently yeah i don't i don't yeah i don't know if i have opinion i do have opinions on this but i don't i haven't fully formulated what they would sound like so i'm gonna stick to so what what happened producer is i think that it's one of those things that it was and then the second the opportunity came the like all of the stress and the anxiety of being laid off normally i think people which you're supposed to do is like hide under the covers and and be sad and i instead um i i i did all this research does this thing exist didn't find anything so i bought the uh domain name and all the socials and uh then i went and i trademarked the name all this stuff boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom right and it was all in this weekend all this stuff just kind of flowed out of me and i think monday or tuesday i talked to my sweet and sour uh comedy producing partner suzanne and i was like hey hey hey hey because then that's when i did start crying and i was like guy think i want to do i want to do this festival and she was like what and i was just like festival where you can do it it's a montclair comedy festival you know i we did mont we did comedy in montclair for a million years so many shows and uh and we just produced this jaws the musical that was in the the fringe festival like that's a big thing that we did so let's not we i don't want to rest on uh Aloysious J. Pig: on my on my laurels what what exactly is uh the or laurels does that does that is that something you got from like a swedish design Producer: store or is that some condition that you have or i think that a laurel might be like a type of a shrub or a type of a bush i don't know um did we get some some laurels planted and if so how did we afford them i think you know you don't have a job and laurels are pretty expensive not only to to put to get but then to put in the ground and then their upkeep and and everything and uh and then you know it's same why you're going to go in the store and you're going to go in the store and sit on them okay because like i said they're pretty expensive and then what i know about plants isn't a lot but i do know that plants do not like to be you know just like sat upon and they do not appreciate it yeah and they will they will wilt is what will happen to them Natty Bumpercar: so okay yes those are you're actually right skip laurels uh and we do not have any we did look at some a few times uh because we do like to buy plants uh bring them home plant them do all the stuff you're supposed to do for them and watch as they just uh die for no reason uh we've actually we've had people come to our yard and look at our at our yard and and and scratch their chins and shake their heads and and ask questions did you did you did you water it yes did you dig the hole twice as big as the root ball yes i did now a long time ago one of the mistakes that we made when we bought the root ball was that we didn't have the root ball some plants was we dug this big hole and then when the uh with this the uh the dirt that we put in there right top soil type stuff uh we actually put uh fertilizer in thinking well these plants are going to be happy look at they've got all they've got everything they need we're watering them they've got their nutrients and and somebody said oh no you don't put the fertilizer in with the plant uh because what that plant does then is it doesn't uh search out into the world for its own nutrients it just hangs out in that area that you already fertilized and and it doesn't see the need to go out any further and then the uh the root ball like where you know what's it just doesn't grow and so then it ends up just dying and uh well that that was a lot to take in and that was kind of like a too much love situation we loved these plants to actual death and we didn't want to let them die and we didn't want to let them die and we didn't want to let them die and so um it's it can happen okay but no i was i was resting on my laurels which is a phrase it's a phrase i just looked it up it's like Aloysious J. Pig: a greek and roman times and and uh when somebody did something good or whatever i don't really know why but they would be given a little crown made of ready for this laurels just like the plants you're talking about so producer you were sort of right there right and then the whole phrase means all right great just so you did something big just because you did something good you got your little crown now don't just put that crown down on the ground and and and do nothing just sit on it right don't rest on

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty decides to tell a story that he is very excited about. Then there are bulls. Then horses. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: no no because to me that was no without that was the craziest part of the story was nobody believed it like i was i was several minutes into the story and i and i kind of looked around and i could see that not a single person who was looking at me was like nodding their head like oh yeah we're here with you like we get it like trying to you know pipe in or anything that none of them and i i said i was just like but do you you guys do you know what i'm right talking about well right nothing no and silence yep which is just a very uncomfortable situation to be in well it's Aloysious J. Pig: also it feels like a lot of what happens here on the on the bumper podcast where you come in you know a bull in a china shop and you're just you're burst in the doors which also they're made a glass not china but it's one of those glasses that these uh it doesn't shatter it's shatterproof glass right then you come in but then the the shelves are all around and that you know the shelves are also glass really it in the china shop it's not one of these things where it's just a china that you're worried about right it's the china obviously if you're trying to shop it's the biggest thing that you're going to worry about getting broken but you know you got your displays you got your doors whatnot uh there's just a lot of investment like what is it a carpet floor uh you know you're gonna be like a bull and on a carpeted floor that's gonna get destroyed is it a wood floor again scuffed up probably have some real just you know just issues i try to think like just just Rufus T. Rufus: just something dragged across a wooden floor so you can't it's destroyed yeah well i don't wish i actually hello everybody this is me rufus tear rufus i worked in uh nobody knows this i don't think but i did work retail coming up through law school i actually worked in uh now it wasn't a china shop particularly but we did sell some some some some some pieces but the wood floor now what we had there is you could have issues where uh if you the displays if somebody if you didn't uh move them around properly uh they would gouge i think is the word you're looking for they would gouge the wood floors put real just uh just not even a scrape but this actual like you you know you're gonna have to Natty Bumpercar: refinish it to fix that and i remember one time i was rufus rufus i'm sorry um okay well all right well yeah so thank you um i don't think i i don't know why we're fixating on the the china shop part here or working retail what i was i was talking to like you group of people and everyone's talking and everyone's having fun and then you jump in with a story and you're like this is it this story this is really it's moving the conversation forward it ties into everything that we're talking about it makes sense that i would bring it up uh and then you know a little bit into the story you realize that the room has become silent like not even like if you're at a restaurant it's not even just your table that's become silent there are the the workers are standing around just looking not even at you because they're too uncomfortable to look at you other tables you know maybe they were about to pay their checks they've they've just sat back down put their hands on top of each other on the table and they're kind of looking at their hands uh just just nerves uh and you you look around you go oh no did i do this did i make did i did i did i make wow did i did i ruin did i end the whole restaurant for right now is that what i've done socially am i that socially awkward that i have managed to shut down an entire uh business so i uh so not Doodle Poodle: i know exactly what you're talking about because it has situation that's happened to me more than one time where i was you know i was i was i was i was in the lily pads we started the the pond was the lily pad and you know sometimes after we have the dinner of like we eat some flies and some you know like little little that's really what we eat is the bugs it's delicious if you cook them properly which is to say you don't cook them at all because once you cook them they don't they don't taste good but i'm a frog so everyone needs to understand that my palate might be a little bit different than your palate but anyway after we eat we you know like to say and look at the moon and maybe there's a dragonfly like just kind of buzzing by and you know and one time i remember that i was telling a story and you know nighttime on the pond can be a pretty loud place there's a lot of good stuff going on where you go you know the rear bit the rear bit whatever and then there's over here you have the little skeezes little noises every there's noise a lot of noises around the pond they're beautiful calming noises but you know they're it can be a bit cacophonous in the in the nicest way and i i was telling a story and then i looked around because i noticed it was getting very quiet and sometimes frogs when they're very uncomfortable what they'll do is they're just like they don't even jump off the lily pad they just kind of tilt the lily pad so they'll just kind of slide into the water and i was that is yeah everyone had just disappeared just me there no dragonflies no the moon was even behind the clouds because i guess my story was was that i don't know if it was boring or if it was just kept going on and on or if it was no one was interested or i don't really know what happened but it was and i didn't feel so good so i know kind of what there's no china shop there's no glass none of this stuff the uh but we don't really do that in the pond but just a lot of uh nobody around type of thing and i was like oh my Aloysious J. Pig: yeah i can kind of see just from listening to your story uh listen it was a fine story it's a great story you know uh but then at a point it seemed like you kind of um just lost the thread a little bit you know you kind of started it's almost like you got sleepy it's like you're telling a story and you know it's a there's a restaurant and you have flies you're eating and lily pads and dragonflies and the moon like you know nice stuff really painting a picture of the moon and then you picture for me and then kind of towards the end when you start talking about the people who kind of just uh sliding into the water uh yeah i was looking around trying to find myself a little bit of water to slide into myself and that's you know no nothing on you you did a great job but you just kind of yeah you just ran out of steam like if you were a train if you were a steam engine you you just you just stopped going and that's okay you know that that's station it was right over there the people can get out and they can walk or we can send over a horse and buggy whatever it is to you know get the luggage and so you were close you're very close Rufus T. Rufus: now when i was talking about i was working retail uh in the the the bull we're back to the bull now the bull in the china shop uh now that recollection came to me when you just mentioned a horse and a because there's one time in the shop that we had left the doors open for ventilation because it was a little bit stuffy inside and well uh uh lo and behold uh a horse just wandered right into the store right and you understand horses are much uh more calm than and then and then them bulls you know that isn't to say that horses can't get excited and whatever they're back on their haunches and they're being all big whore whatever but just in general the horse was fine walking around the different displays uh if his feet were clean so the carpet was not an issue and then when it got over to uh the uh the hardwood floor now you know it did get a little bit scuffed up no gouges but uh you know i think if i if i had to expound upon the the the the saying i'd say something wrong lines or you know you're like a bull don't be like a bull in a china shop uh be more like a horse who just happened to walk in because uh uh the people had work in there had opened the door to to let it just air out a little bit i guess that's too wordy i mean i'm not i'm not being paid by the word here that's Natty Bumpercar: for sure yeah um okay well so yeah i like i do like the bull in the china shop more like a horse i don't really feel like a horse should go into a china shop either uh just you know it's what if it's busy what if uh what if there's like a shop cat and it freaks the horse out what if uh you know there's just a lot of variables there's a lot of things that could go wrong you know what if there's like an a clothing section you know and the horse is just like i'm gonna i'm gonna munch on this uh on this uh i was gonna say camisole but i don't know what that is on this cami no on the you know what i'm just gonna i'm just gonna eat these linens because they they look and they smell delicious i don't know how hungry this horse is whose horse is it anyway why is there just a horse wandering around the street walking into shops uh why is this chaos that we're living in brah you're sitting here Aloysious J. Pig: walking to a frog and to a pig and to a lawyer so whatever you know the animal that is but why are we uh getting all held up on uh there being a horse walking into a store i was i walked into like seven stores yesterday you know what any anybody said to me they said hello that's what they said they no one was just like hey pig what you doing in here right like one of them was even like that because it's a store that i've been in before but that's not the point my point is sometimes a horse is gonna have to go into a store and that's just the way it is and if you have carpets or if you have hardwood that's on you okay y

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty decides that everyone should start being nice to each other which leads to some heartfelt apologies. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: so today i think we're going to be nice which is different for us because sometimes we're not as nice as we should be and somebody pointed out to me that they don't even remember an episode where we were actually nice to each other and i i take that as a problem you know something to fix so hey guys how's it going no that didn't feel right hey no okay hey pig what what like that Rufus T. Rufus: sup hey sup with you uh yeah i think it's fine it'll be easy to be nice to each other right the uh the weather is uh dreary outside it's cloudy it's kind of gray uh the ground seems to be marshy uh so that's fun really gets everyone's attention and uh so i think it's fine i think it's fine i think it's fine i think it's in the spirit uh and uh the kids are about to be home from school for the rest of the summer so that's gonna be very pleasant very happy times everybody's thrilled with that uh yeah oh boy so uh i guess i'll ask the question uh natty how are you doing i mean it just sounds so weird when we Natty Bumpercar: i don't know when we say when we say hi to each other or we like it sounds what is it disingenuous is the word i'm looking for uh which is strange because we hang out all the time but i guess we don't normally just ask i guess when you hang out with people all the time you don't ask them how they're doing because you just you see them all the time and so you know in one way it could be annoying where if i see you several times a day and i'm like how are you doing they're like back off still doing the same but you're actually making me kind of agitated so in that instance you're trying to be nice by asking someone how they're doing and i'm like how are you doing how they're doing but i guess they're just being asked too much is that what it is it's like a there's must there's some social contractor oh okay yeah all right hello rufus yeah hey there Rufus T. Rufus: now i heard you talking about a social contract and as you know i'm the one around here who loves to to facilitate to uh possibilitate to uh recreate and to uh designate and never deviate from uh the contracts from the from the the letters of the law from the structure of the pen to the paper you understand there's indentations there's bullet points there's the little things that are inside bullet points like hollow bullet points and then sometimes i've seen it where people go bullet point indent hollow bullet point in dent you go back to a bullet point what world is that even i'm gonna get confused i gotta get my glasses on okay so uh i heard everybody talking how is everybody doing it don't feel right it just feels strange for some reason yeah no i i get it um we gotta Natty Bumpercar: figure that out um you know one thing we could talk about the last episode that we had which i i am so sorry it was a little while ago but if i even bother to tell you how much life has been to me lately um i you would never you would never listen again because you would be too busy being sad um but that's okay because we we we pick ourselves up and we throw ourselves back down the hill once again um it's a grassy hill don't worry so it was hay at the bottom of it so it's okay you just roll and then you're in the hay it's fine uh but the last episode i think that we had um there was a new microphone oh yeah i remember the new microphone right yeah yes and he it i don't remember uh she they they we'll go with they had a lot of problems uh or they caused a lot of problems um i don't remember you know now that i mentioned i don't even remember what it was but i do know that there was a new microphone and that there were issues which is shocking for this show everything normally goes so smoothly and uh goes off without a hitch so you know uh where Producer: is the new microphone why we're back to the old old stuff yeah so we you know we were really having a problem in the last episode and you know everybody seemed to be having a difficult time and so i was just like Rufus T. Rufus: hold on i don't even know i apologize i was i didn't keep up with that last part i don't speak frog as fluently as i probably should but it sounded like you said uh or something like that if i got that wrong or right i don't know but i definitely don't even understand what it means or could mean the potential of what it could mean yeah uh producer you i huh we're trying to be nice to everybody in this episode so i'm just gonna stick with that and what what what what did you Producer: just say well first off i just want to say that i'm all in and behind the um uh the the idea to make this show nice you know when we first started everybody was friends we're all new to each other and we're you know kind of seeing like okay maybe this person can be my friend and then over the years of you know living together and not getting paid and just kind of being around each other all the time and then we went through the the whole thing that we couldn't leave the house for a long time you know it it became very very closed in and yeah you know we maybe don't uh we're not as nice to each other as we as we as we used to to to be um now that's what i was saying about the microphone it was causing a lot of trouble and uh so it's currently in our av closet which is our audio and video closet it's actually a v e audio video equipment so i put it in the description box and i'm going to put it in the description box right now and you know it just i'm trying to test some things out make sure everything is working properly and then you know maybe we'll bring it back in i don't know yeah no that thank Natty Bumpercar: you producer for uh for doing that as i remember and i don't want to bring up any bad memories but that last episode uh you were really getting it i i don't know who it was from i don't know where it was from but people were seeing this is our episode we're going to be nice not just to each other but we're going to figure out ways that we can be nice to other people which is a crazy concept i know um but i i think i'm going to apologize because i don't remember if i was uh part and parcel part of being mean to you in the last episode and if i was then i uh apologize and i'm gonna see if uh if aloesius if you want uh rufus maybe you guys want to say Rufus T. Rufus: something to producer yeah sure i also don't really remember the last episode i do remember something about him microphone because it was in the spot where i usually you know put my uh my my cup of water this microphone is hanging from the ceiling that microphone was on the table and so i remember getting very parched and sometimes when i get parched i i lash out a little bit and um you know producer you have a hard job thankless job and i i want to say that i'm also very sorry that uh if and that natty was mean to you in the last episode because you don't deserve that you do a lot of hard work around here right why did you just put Natty Bumpercar: it back on me like i already did my apology and then you did this big build-up and gave a reason for why you might have been feisty and then you didn't say sorry you just said sorry that i was Rufus T. Rufus: mean but uh what about you rufus well now in my line of business it's uh it's something it's we don't ever uh start apologizing for nothing because once you say you're sorry now that means you're taking responsibility for something bad that might have happened and you know once you take responsibility the next logical step there is that uh somebody might take advantage of your uh uh having responsibility uh uh having responsibility and the vulnerability that you have then opened up to have to rectify the situation that you were quote end quote sorry about so i will refrain from uh saying those those actual words let me think here but i uh i do feel bad producer at the last episode with the microphone uh again i agree with uh how mean how rude how just unnecessary uh and that it was was to you so i not you know what i will stand up for your rights okay right yeah and maybe he's gonna say he's sorry but i don't know i don't know if he's gonna well i already did i was the first Natty Bumpercar: one and i actually did say that i was sorry and which fine i'm sorry but i don't know if he's gonna say that i'm sorry but i'm taking responsibility for not being nice that's a good thing okay if you make a mistake or you you are not nice to somebody if you're rude or short it's okay to say you're sorry okay it doesn't make you less of a person it actually makes you more of a person a better person because you then are showing that you have the ability to recognize that you have faults to recognize that you're not always perfect regardless of what you've been told your whole life show the people that you know you empathize with them you know it humanizes you it makes you just i don't know more relatable and easier to make a connection with and more present because you know a lot of times people do bad things and if you say anything they'll actually get mad that you called them out on doing the bad thing and then i've i know i have and then i've been like oh i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i'm sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry and i'm apologizing just for letting them know that this bad thing has happened that they were involved in does that make any sense no Rufus T. Rufus: now i'm i'm a little so okay you're saying somebody does something bad right and then they have the option i guess they have a few options they can just walk away right ignore it they can decide to uh apologize maybe try to fix the situation right or and this one's kind of funny i me

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, we get a new microphone! But then everything goes off the rails. It’s totes banoo!! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: okay so we have a new microphone and it is testing my patience as far as where i have to sit and where it needs to sit and how i look at it and how it looks at me and i think i just touched my shirt and i heard it in my ears this thing is it's you're a little too intense microphone i like you very very much but i just i worry that you're not going to fit in around here because we're not a very intense podcast we don't we're not you know exact and we don't really know what we're doing and you know if you take us to a level that's too far up it's just gonna cause issues with everybody bad issues scary issues uh probably some fights people you know talking behind other people's backs terrible stuff like that no i'm not interested i'm not even interested Aloysious J. Pig: a little bit hey uh maddie uh sorry i didn't mean to interrupt it now you're having a little conversation over here with a new microphone uh so i don't want to you know tell tales at a school i don't want to talk about Natty Bumpercar: people behind well back no yeah no i think that's what i was just telling the microphone here is that we don't want to do that that's not something that we normally do yeah like well uh hold on a Aloysious J. Pig: second natic now you're saying we don't save that's me of course hello everyone that's me rufus t rufus the the the the lawyer around here and are you saying that we don't talk behind people's backs because we have to say the stuff Natty Bumpercar: to their face no well no wait no well no we try to be nice to people just in in front of their face and and behind their face and to the side of their face and any you know if you have a face then we're gonna try to kind of 360 upside down all the way around just be nice to people in general but um what i was saying was rufus i don't have you met have you Aloysious J. Pig: met the new mic no i don't believe i made your acquaintance uh i'm saying hello to the little okay oh yeah i can do that hello there uh microphone how do you do not much for conversation i see you'd rather be talked at and i don't got any questions uh bathrooms around the corner you know no i can't talk to this thing now it don't make no sense i don't mean you're just looking at me funny here i don't you mean you seem nice microphone but uh you know i got i got i got lawyer stuff i'm gonna just uh skidoo back over here and you you do your microphone thing make me uncomfortable where you're looking stop looking at me like that please now microphone um i'm just gonna say it you've already proved your worth because normally rufus stays in the podcast studio for the entire podcast and now you all of a sudden you come in and you get you made him uncomfortable and got him to leave i've never seen anything or anyone in his situation uh be able to make that guy uncomfortable so uh uh you get a you get a gold star uh first day knocking it out of the park i gotta tell you yeah i agree um it was weird he Natty Bumpercar: was like did you see his eyes were like kind of darting around he looked like a little bit Aloysious J. Pig: i don't want to say he was a little bit banu but hey hey hey you know you can't say banu all right because now that's twice if it's said another time then we're gonna get into the totes and then you know that issues for years we've had big issues so please oh please oh please Producer: stop it right where we are yeah i tend to agree with aloysius you know we don't we we always try to steer away from all of that stuff because it causes a lot of drama and i know the beginning matter you were saying you don't talk behind people's backs we don't talk in front of you Aloysious J. Pig: know the whole thing you were saying but just what is what is happening producer you have you i mean like you have one job is well i mean you have a lot of i know but you don't take a phone call when we're doing a podcast that's why would you why would you put it on mute put it on vibrate yeah put it in your locker Natty Bumpercar: like nobody should have their phone yeah i yeah sorry that producer i'm that's the first i said i think that might be the first time that's ever happened that was really loud and and not not Producer: awesome so i'm hold on netty i just wanted to say that the phone call was actually from a very Aloysious J. Pig: important person in your life so what are we are we doing like riddles now is that the game we're playing you know are you just gonna tell them all right what are we doing yeah i would i mean like Natty Bumpercar: yeah sorry i who who who who was it it was very important my life who who just called you instead of i guess calling calling me or did they maybe they did call but i don't have my phone i don't Producer: know yeah so they did actually call you and uh you yes you doing the voicemail and so there is a bit of a you know so they did call me because it was a bit of a you know a little bit of a you know a you know he's kind of like a bit of a um bit of an emergency and so um yeah yeah what is this guy Aloysious J. Pig: doing okay so it's you don't you're not telling us who called and now you're saying it's an emergency and then you're trail off uh love you to death producer you're wonderful you're great uh get to the point who was it that called natty with an emergency yeah thanks aloysius like what Natty Bumpercar: are we doing do you want do we need to stop the podcast and can you tell me or do i need to be worried like what is happening right now Producer: well no i'm sorry but you guys geek cutting me off and i give you you know i get a little bit nervous and that's why i don't i don't talk a lot in the microphone because you know there's a podcast and i'm the i'm the yeah go go go yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yeah so okay we know Natty Bumpercar: you're a producer you're behind the microphone and so somebody called me and they said it was an emergency and can we just please do we if we can you just tell me yeah or hold on a second i Producer: actually funny story they just called me back but i had turned the the ringer off and i had muted my microphone and so you didn't hear the whole thing but the thing is the um the emergency uh is now passed and it was just a small thing that maybe you know it didn't end up being anything at all and so it's not a big deal and and so you don't even have to worry about it you guys just continue on go on with your big podcast you're doing it such a good job always so proud of you uh new microphone looking at you i'm looking at you over there okay i got a little work to do you and me right but we'll figure it out and we'll figure it out and we'll Aloysious J. Pig: we're gonna get there we're all gonna get there okay cool great um so now that we're stuck in this and i guess is i hope this isn't the entire podcast i hope bumper car has some silly story to tell or something but i know i invested emotionally and i would also like to know what was the who sorry yes who was the person who called and what was the emergency that has now been settled and is no longer an emergency and now that we have all that information and that you Producer: can take a nice deep breath and just no so here's the thing i um who's i actually do a lot of indian food i love uh just you know the spicy it's good a lot of flavor i think he's he's on the phone producer yeah he's on the phone right now knock on the window yeah we're not gonna win producer later in the day you know producer yeah we can hear you sorry sorry sorry shut it off Natty Bumpercar: cut it off um i i'm gonna take a deep breath it's all okay we just might have to throw this episode away but that's okay you know we we were excited we had a new microphone and now producer is receiving phone calls and then talking to people in the in the booth you and we still don't even know who it was you or if that was the same person or what the emergency was or anything yeah uh natty i Aloysious J. Pig: apologize uh i was on the telephone over there with uh with uh with a producer and uh you know i feel a little bit bad that maybe i was interrupting is what i'm understanding he looks pretty upset in there on the booth yeah uh you would hold on were you the first call or the second call or i think there were three or all it was you were the first call or the second call or figure of what it was that was not what it was in the meanwhile yeah because at the very least you'll have of the first phone call because you took your lead i don't know how many phone calls um well you you know you're well is it all you yeah well now here's the thing i don't know how many phone calls that the producer got uh you're saying three um let me think here because i i did i called and uh natty i called you went to voicemail and then i called a producer and in Yeah, then I called you back to let you know that everything was all right. Yeah, and then I'm the third. Yeah, I was talking about we're going to go eat some food maybe after the show. And then we're going to go get some lunch also. So we got some discussions to discover. Natty Bumpercar: So, okay, microphone made you nervous, Rufus. So you left the studio and then you almost immediately within like a couple of minutes start calling producer during the show while you know that we're recording the show. And now you're telling me that there was some sort of emergency and that the emergency went away. Can you now explain what that was? Yes, well, I can mix. Sorry, I don't want to hear. I don't I'm not. I need to talk to Rufus to see what's going on, because. Because, you know, it was supposed to be a big fun day. We got a new microphone. We had I had some silly, funny stories I was going

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty is excited to talk about something, is interrupted by Pig, and then forgets what he was ever even excited about… You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: so this is going to be one of those episodes where i've got i've got thoughts i've got ideas Aloysious J. Pig: and i've got thoughts okay so you mean it's going to be one of those episodes that people can should just go ahead and like skip that's what you're saying right off the bat just hey hey everybody warning here's just so you know an episode that you probably don't need to listen Natty Bumpercar: don't no no that's not what i'm saying at all no no no so here's the thing at night when i do i say here's the thing a lot i feel like i say here's the thing a lot hold on a second now i got to Aloysious J. Pig: think about that and now you're derailed you came in all hot and strong and you're like oh i got something to talk about and now you're like oh another shiny thing focus bumper car you're a Natty Bumpercar: minute in and there's the phone ringing and that's why i can't focus because there's never any time to focus on anything because i never get a chance it's like all i do in my life at this point is i run around and i put out fires i'm like oh there's a fire run oh there's a fire run oh there's a fire run and i never even get to check if the fires are actually out because i'm so busy running from fire to fire to fire you Aloysious J. Pig: better hope that this is not being do we play these ever at a at a movie theater any kind of theater because if you're doing your podcast and you're up here screaming fire fire fire people are gonna get you're gonna i think you're breaking some laws maybe i but you can't just start screaming fire fire fire that's that's that's highly illegal and if and i'm not listen i'm not saying that because i want anybody else to come to the podcast because i like it's just you and me today but i think you're probably bending maybe even breaking a couple Natty Bumpercar: of laws here yeah no i listen don't you worry about that we live in a post-law society would you stop stop this is supposed to be a silly funny Aloysious J. Pig: podcast don't if you if you jump down that hole that rabbit hole you're gonna be in all kinds of trouble dude i wouldn't do it i would just take a deep breath and now let's talk about whatever it was that you started off now two minutes ago wanting to talk about ah that was Natty Bumpercar: so long ago and now i feel like we've talked about i don't remember i was so excited i came in and i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so I'd been thinking about something that I wanted to talk about, and I thought it was even interesting, and then I was, I, I, I can't, why, why does this happen? Aloysious J. Pig: Is it because you don't do the podcast often enough, and so you're a little bit out of, out of, out of, out of sync? That's not what I want. Out of practice? That's what I want. Or maybe is it because the only time you actually have conversations around the podcast, because you don't talk to other people, and so you, maybe you just had too much ready to go, and then when you got distracted, it all fell apart? Natty Bumpercar: No, I talk to people all the time. Like, I'm always talking to people. I, I talk to people constantly, really, you know, if, if, if you look at talking, then. I'm probably, I'm doing, I'm talking. Aloysious J. Pig: You, you understand that it's, like, people in, in restaurants and, and stores, that, those aren't common, you're, you're, they're being paid to be nice to you. You understand that, right? They, they're, they're just trying to be, uh, cordial, civil, you know, uh. Natty Bumpercar: Civil, like, civil, civil shepherd? Aloysious J. Pig: I did, yeah, so now we're doing, like, references to television from 30 years ago? Natty Bumpercar: Oh, bumper car. Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Oh, bumper. Bumper car. What are you doing? Natty Bumpercar: Well, what about, okay, fine, I understand, and I accept, whatever, that those, those people are probably, maybe only being nice to me because it's, it's their job, uh, which, fine, whatever, you know, they don't have to do their job so well to me, right, to talk to me. They could just, uh, give me a smile and walk away, but I'll, fine, I will accept your, your logic, and I will say, what about? I had a show this weekend, and, and I, I talked to people there. Aloysious J. Pig: Now, you, so, when you're doing stand-up comedy, you're not talking to people, you're talking at people. You're on stage, right, which by, you're up high, you're far away, you're talking into a microphone, which is, you know, uh, it's, it's, it's, uh, I would say magnifying your voice? Is that what we're saying? Amplifying. We'll say amplifying your voice. And so it's, that's, that's also not a conversation, but it really highlights, I think, where your brain is, uh, a little bit, uh, wonk, wonka-doodle. Natty Bumpercar: Well, okay, so normally I totally agree with you, but this show, which I had to drive two hours to get to, it was so far away because of traffic and stuff. So I got there, and they had the tables set up, like, 20 feet from the stage where I was performing. and the also the stage was like high up like super high up like probably i'm gonna go five and a half feet five feet we'll say five feet up and there were spotlights but they were not on and they were not pointed at the stage even if they were on so it created this really weird environment and um so i was sitting in the back at the comics table which was table number 13 which is Aloysious J. Pig: not foreshadowing at all did i tell the crowd so listen everybody who's listening to this story first off i apologize second off uh if bumper car sounds weird it's because every so often Unknown: there's still music beds that are coming through that evidently somebody forgot to turn off and so Aloysious J. Pig: he was telling some story then all of a sudden it's like unksha unksha unksha which is why he sounded confused anyway back back to your story tell your story tell your story okay yeah those Natty Bumpercar: unksha unksha beats uh are always coming through so here's so so i uh i was back at the table and there was a woman who was running the show she like hired us i guess and she came back and the producer of the show said hi just so you know you're gonna be bringing um natty up he's the host for the for the show and i said hi natty and she's like what's your name natty bumper car that's a stupid name no she didn't say stupid that's a silly name uh is that really your name and i said ah who knows because that's usually what i say uh just to get out of that conversation and uh or i say probably uh and and she's like okay whatever listen uh in a few minutes uh i'll go up there i'm gonna say a little bit about the show and and then i'll introduce you and i was like perfect and so in my mind that meant okay i have time to i'm gonna i'm gonna go use the bathroom maybe i'm gonna stretch a little bit maybe do some jumping jack whatever i do i don't know think about what i'm gonna say and i i stood up to leave the room to find the bathroom and uh she was already on the stage and she was like okay everybody here's your host uh natty and i was i was two feet out of the door which meant i was all the way out of the door already and i went oh oh and and i had to turn and run all the way up to the stage because it was far away it was it was much farther than i thought it was and uh you know hopped up on stage and i was like oh my god i'm gonna go use the bathroom and i was just like haha what happened to a few minutes huh thanks oh here we go which was a weird way to start a show not how you want to start a show and uh i'm not blaming that but the crowd was you know like usually they have like a 30 second hey everybody thanks for coming out tonight thanks for coming to our show how about that food ha that's sponsored by this person and look at all these decorations great job these people like whatever it is and now let's get ready you guys and they're like yeah we're ready but this was instead this was just like hey show go and and and me running on stage and so the crowd was just like kind of there but also kind of not there and i did about 12 minutes up front and um you know there were some laughs but there was also a lot of me switching gears it was like i'm gonna try that no you don't like okay i'm gonna try that you don't like okay i'm gonna try that nope okay good good good just a lot of me kind of uh feeling the crowd out trying to feel what they like trying to feel what they don't like or whatever and um so then i got off like i introduced uh the person who produced the show she was going to do a little jump on spot a little guest spot and so i introduced her like hey and i i found a little back room on the stage because i didn't want to go all the way back to the table because i'd already got my steps in that day so after she got off i went up and i was i was i was i was like i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this frustrated because i i i'm the host and i was not gonna let the show go that way and so i was just like no no i'm taking charge and so they had given me a wireless microphone and so i actually hopped off the stage and i decided to run from table to table to table and i don't it's not necessarily crowd work because i wasn't really letting them talk so much but i would pick out something at the table and i would make fun of it quick boom bam boom zing zing zing and then i would run to the next table boom bam boom zing zing zing and you know and that actually got the crowd engaged and that got them kind of awake and kind of like oh hey we're at a show and then you know it

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty and the crew try a song and realize why they haven’t been recording as much Tune in for laughs, lessons, and lots of laughs as they navigate the paperwork jungle! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: so i have an idea i have several ideas but only one idea that really pertains to you guys at this moment and so what i've been doing is listen i've been listening to so many podcasts like upwards of four five podcasts and um not all the way through i have to say that just partially um because who has the time honestly uh i would understand it if you if you are about to turn this one off you ever no one has time no one has time to listen to things to bibble babble to jibber jabber no so i i had i had an idea and my idea was um i just before you say your idea Aloysious J. Pig: uh i just wanted you to know that the uh listening numbers have come in and uh it won't Don't be an issue because it looks like everybody gave up on this podcast because you stopped making it. So it kind of makes a little bit of sense. So right now you're just talking into the void. You're talking into the ether. You're talking into, I don't know, like somewhere where no one is. The, the, the, Mari, Marin, what is it? Marinara? I think it's Marinara. Mariana, right? Not Marin, yeah. No. Mariana Trench. Rufus T. Rufus: Is it, did we decide here? No, this is Rufus. T. Rufus. And did we actually decide on if it's Marinara Trench? Now, hold on a second. I believe the Marinara Trench is when you make a pot of spaghetti and you just family style, you put it down the middle of the table. Oh. Hold that paschetti. And then you come along. Natty Bumpercar: Rufus, are you saying paschetti? Because I, the first time I think you actually said spaghetti, which I appreciate. But then the second time you, you just went on with paschetti. Paschetti. Producer: Yeah. Right? Yes. Paschetti. But Natalie, it's me, producer, and ye, I heard it as well. I was going to, you know, I, I like to mark things on notepads so that at the end of the episode, if I'm, you know, if I have to go back in and, you know, edit anything or whatever, but I, I wrote in there this exact time stamp that these men said, a paschetti like that, you know? Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Okay. Thank you very much, producer. Wow. You, your accent got a little bit, what's happening today? This is, this is very strange. You got, you got, you got very, I would say Italian, but I don't really know. I don't, you know, accents are weird to me. Everything kind of sounds dissimilar. Oh. Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, you Sophie. Fancy. Yo, look at me. I'm Natty Bumpercar. I got so much wit. I got so much, uh, like whatever, but, uh, I gotta say, paschetti, Rufus, you sound like, you know, like you're a three-year-old or seven, uh, three-year-old or seven. Not, not four, not five, not six. You're either a three-year-old or you're seven. And, and that's who I understand is it's in their, their language. It's in what they say. They say paschetti, like that. Producer: I wanted to thank you, Aloysius, for, because everybody who is saying the paschetti, they're really going into the microphone and they're saying it very loud. So they're getting that, that, that, that noise, that pop noise that you get because we don't have a pop, uh, uh, uh, barrier anymore, like a pop screen. And so I do appreciate, uh, if everyone else could follow Aloysius. Aloysius. Aloysius, hey, sample, and then we, it'll make everybody happy because, you know, I agree that no one is probably listening at this point anymore, but if they were, uh, we just want to give them a high quality, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, product to, did I just do it? Yeah. Oh, man. Okay. This is very difficult. It's very difficult. Rufus T. Rufus: I was listening to my, my headphones here. Do you know we used to call headphones cans? Like that. We said, what? I can't hear you through the cans. That's when we were back on the radio long time ago, long, long time ago for you, uh, Piggy Lou before you even born. Now here's the thing. I think what we got to do until we get ourselves a, uh, a pop God is, uh, just avoid any words that might be, uh, associated or, uh, integrated or, uh, reverberated, uh, through the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. the microphone with the issues that are associated with not having a pop filter. Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. Yeah, that works for me. It's going to be very difficult because we don't have a script like some of these odd casts. I mean, that has a P at the beginning but I didn't want to say it. So now, that's all I'm thinking about now. Hold on. You're good. Unknown: Do you hear this? Pig, I think that there's some music happening. Do you think there's going to be a song? Producer: There could be. Drop the beat, pretty please. Oh. Okay. Aloysious J. Pig: Sounds like we're doing something. Let's go. Ready? I'm rolling. Riding. Sitting. Poseidon. Looking for Poseidon. Okay, that's rhymed. I'm chasing. You're hiding. I'm barely even trying. So clean off your face. You're in last place. The geese. The gaggle. The geese will never haggle. A wiggle. A waggle. Alright, I'm Rufus T. Rufus: jumping in here. I don't know if you're just like, out of practice. If you forgot how to do this. Or what the problem is right now. Can you cut that music? Can you cut it off, please? Producer: Producer, I'm talking to you. Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't know if you were like, doing part of this song. You know, like a spoken word kind of thing where you come in and you're like, Mr. Top Guy or whatever. You know, I noticed that you were not paying attention to the music or the beat or anything that was said before, so I was guessing that you weren't doing that, but… Yes, yes. Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's okay. Natty Bumpercar: Wow. I mean, you just cut it. It wasn't even like, we're gonna fade it out or anything. It was just like, and gone. Music just gone. It's fine. I'm sorry. It's fine. Producer: I just thought I was supposed to do it. The lawyer man here, Rufus D. Rufus, says, you got to get rid of the music. You're not doing a great job. I just pushed the button and it's gone. It's fine. It's just my job. It's just my life. It's just my dream. Aloysious J. Pig: But that's fine. That's fine. Listen, producer, it is okay. I don't want anybody to get worried. I don't want anybody to get worked up. Alright? Everything's good. Everything's fine. We made a terrible song. And that's gonna happen. We haven't made a song in a long time, and the one we just did was terrible. And that's, again, it's okay. We're gonna move on. Probably. Do we have anything else planned for this episode? Was that it? I don't know. Natty Bumpercar: No, we didn't even plan for that. Come on. It's okay. Everybody calm down. Rufus T. Rufus: Now, I'm starting to wonder if this is why we hadn't recorded a bumper podcast in a long time. Maybe we just don't gel anymore. Maybe we're like oil and water. There's several. Now, you can be the water, and then we can be different kinds of oil. Myself, I think I'm gonna be an avocado oil. Uh, Aloysius, what are you thinking over there? What are your thoughts? Aloysious J. Pig: Well, you know, it's a good point. Oil and water. Yeah, he is absolutely water over there. Uh, your avocado. I'm gonna, you know, I wanna stay away from seed oils, because as I understand, those are out of uh, out of vogue at the moment. Is there anything like a… I know they do milk, but is there like a an almond oil? Or a soil? Oh, soy oil? Soil! Let's start that business! Is there such a thing as soy oil? Can we start soil? What'd you cook your food in? I cooked it in soil! There we go! Ho-ho! Million dollar plan! Producer: Yeah, I don't really want to be, uh, oil, necessarily, but, here's a thing I could be, is, um, I could be uh, butter, maybe? You know, just, it tastes good, you can still cook in it, it doesn't have as high of a um, burned temperature, as the other ones, and especially the avocado oil, you know, you can really get that pan hot. Uh, soil, I don't, I'm not too overly familiar with, um… We? Yeah, we're gonna… Are we determining if that's a real thing, or… Yeah, I think Natty Bumpercar: we should get an intern for the podcast, because a lot of the shows that I was watching or listening to, whatever you do, um, they had people off to the side who were actually like, um, they would say stuff, and then the people over on the side would look it up, and so, like, you know, they're sitting here like how you're just talking about soy oil, soil, they would be able to just, like, put it up in front of you, so you would know right then if, if it was actually a real thing or something that could be done, as opposed to how we seem to do it, which is, something is mentioned, we have no idea if it's valid or if it's real, and then we're supposed to remember the next week, uh, what we said, and to have actually looked it up, and how many times has that actually happened, and do you think we can count it on one hand? Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, here we go, here we go, here we go, count it on one hand, very, very, very, very insensitive, Natty, I don't have hands, I've got little hooves, look, look, look at me, look at me, little hooves, alright, and, and producer, why don't you jump in here? Oh, hey, come on, man, I didn't mean Producer: that. Yeah, but it wasn't necessary, you're like, you could have said anything really, but now you're just like, oh, hey, frog, why don't you jump into the conversation, I mean, like, what are we doing, are we just going around the room now, and and, and, and, and Rufus T. Rufus: picking things out, I guess? Oh, so now you, so I don't, I'm not trying to, uh, I don't want to say P-I-L-E, pile on, but you, uh, producer just did the, the, the P, the

Join Natty Bumpercar, Pig, Rufus, and Producer in this hilarious Bumperpodcast episode all about invoices! From chaotic billing to quirky misunderstandings, the gang tackles the world of invoices in their signature absurd style. Tune in for laughs, lessons, and lots of laughs as they navigate the paperwork jungle! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page Full Transcript Producer: if you could be a bee what kind of bee would you be if you could be a bee what kind of bee would Aloysious J. Pig: you be i guess if i could be a bee i don't really know let's see what kind of bee would i be would i be an a b or c or d or e what all these letters they all rhyme i could just be like e d g c e whatever t m doesn't rhyme though no okay hold on i'll get back okay yeah uh weird Natty Bumpercar: uh we haven't had music like a music bed a music background in so long and evidently we've forgotten how to do it because that we started off pretty rough off beat uh we went with producer i thought was a pretty brilliant because it was nice and simple um rhyme scheme um and and really i thought kind of a nice idea for a song and then leave me out of this okay i couldn't figure it out i was close yeah yes you and i know normally you you don't like feedback and you don't want to hear this no i don't i don't yeah you we oh that was not great i listen i how was i supposed to know that we were going to jump Aloysious J. Pig: right into a song we haven't had a song in in a long time and so you know you hear this the the podcast start it's got the squeak squeak squeak squeak and then all of a sudden boom bang we're in a song with producers starting yeah i don't know if that's ever happened producer never starts a show Producer: yeah i'm sure that at some point in the show that i've probably started it but i i can't recall i don't keep notes or anything but it's nice to have a song it's nice to have a beat so i can dance along and i can sing along let's go let's go let's all party down let's go let's go let's party Aloysious J. Pig: all around so you start you you listen i like that you're committed to the bit and you're like you're like we're gonna have music we're gonna i'm gonna sing a song and i hope that everybody just ignores uh how everything started that's great that's listen you're you are committed you are all in and i appreciate that and i appreciate you producer this is a fat beat i love to listen to this beat as i'm sitting on my seat no no you know it's Natty Bumpercar: i remember yeah i don't know that was i i don't i think we could probably you we don't have to sing i mean it's nice to have a music bed underneath this um i feel like it adds a little layer of texture and fun but um i don't think that it it forces us into a position where we actually you know have to have to have to sing yeah hey nutty it's me Aloysious J. Pig: rufus t rufus and i listen to that we ain't had music in a long time i guess the court paper the filings went through and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna sing a song and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna in the office and all the wheels that were greased and everything so that we can lift the embargo and put on a track or two of of of rapitude drum drum drums i got some drums i don't say no this is why i don't really usually take over here drum drum drum drum i i yeah again i tried it again and i and i failed again but that's okay that's okay we're learning we're learning we're learning yeah we're learning oh everybody's learning here we go over here and here we go over there okay to do what i don't learn to do what to learn in a book in a book i love libraries Natty Bumpercar: i'm listen everyone i think that rufus who never comes in and sings might have had the best singing part so far the gonna learn gonna learn gonna learn in a library gonna learn gonna learn i love to read books gonna learn but yeah yeah no that was that's a catchy one and i think it's it's very much needed at this point um that we lift up uh our our local public libraries and um you know tell people tell people what's up i love the library i like to just walk into a library and all the books they're called they're called the stacks because there's their shelves and they're back in the stacks okay i'm gonna go back in the stacks and and but you second you walk into a library it just has a feeling about it i i always think it just like it it's it feels like you're in a different world almost in a different time and and the smell of the books has always been so intoxicating to me and just wandering around and and looking at all the different titles and all the different sizes of the books and all the different colors of the book like the the spines and everything Aloysious J. Pig: is is is is wonderful yeah um did are we is this all just library stuff now because i i mean i can i can do that i uh went to a library once and they said that they they wanted a show and they hired me and uh they stuck me in a room with what i don't know it must have been two three hundred kids and uh i was like okay what do we what do we have a plan and they're like well we hired you you have the plan and i was like okay uh how long how long do i need to stay in here for and they they they said forever and then they shut the door kind of in a menacing way and uh the second the door shut all the kids their heads just turned slowly and locked on to me and then then and hold on a second don't say anything don't say anything all right good point good point good point yeah i i feel like the litigation on that whole situation is still uh pending it might you know still we're just awaiting a decision um did you ever get a uh uh paid for that for that event uh no i don't know hey uh i don't usually do the money stuff hey natty do you know if uh if i got any checks coming in anything you know a pig needs new shoes Natty Bumpercar: all right well first off you i've never seen you wear shoes um so that's important uh secondly no i don't see any checks do you know um did you send in like the invoice after the show did you email it or mail it or drop it off Aloysious J. Pig: or anything what do you what i don't know what's that uh what's that word in a voice like an inside like an inside voice what i don't know how does that how does that pertain let me take this and that is sir aloysius uh the invoice um now that's where you're going to uh line item uh put everything on it that your time you know you had to buy some uh crops maybe some water uh you know uh as the case and i can't get into it but you know higher security um because of uh people getting a little bit too uh interested in our business you know there's a few different uh but you put all that on the invoice give them a total and then they know what to pay you wait what is this why i've never been paid is this why i've never seen it in i thought that you you just had some sort of a savings account for me so that i could one day i don't know go to college uh get my own place or you know start my life with with a with a so never we've never never gotten paid Natty Bumpercar: anything no i this is a bad miscommunication i thought that you guys were handling a like rufus you usually handle the invoices so now hold on a second hold on a second before you start Aloysious J. Pig: shining the light on me i i i'd appreciate if you if you kept me in the dark if it's as it were now listen i invoice you uh constantly still haven't seen a lick of cash from that yeah but i don't i don't invoice for everything else for everybody else so Natty Bumpercar: yeah you definitely invoice me constantly i have a stack of papers that just seems to keep growing constantly like all the time all the time those papers they grow all the time um okay wow so if aloysius if you're not sending out invoices i haven't been sending out invoices for stuff either um has anyone gotten paid for anything well so what i do is i've been keeping a tally Producer: of all the hours that i've worked and then i went on the internet and i said um you know what is a reasonable amount of salary for for for my position and so i'm just kind of keeping track and i was hoping to settle up with you at some point you know when when we can maybe we sell the bumper podcast and we're just rolling in all the money wait so i guess you're playing like the really Aloysious J. Pig: long game we've been doing this for like i don't know 20 years or something like that i don't know i don't know 20 years or something like that i don't know 20 years or something like that i don't i don't you know what you cut you keep on with your notebook and your tally and keeping track you do that you do that uh uh producer i think it's all gonna work out for you oh boy no let's see here hold on uh i i know i've been paid for some outside services i outvoiced those but the insert internal invoices i don't believe uh i've ever uh collected on on anything uh i have to think about i you know what i'm gonna go talk to my financier and and finance see if i have any finances yeah i hope i do yep it's gonna be a bad day if it if if there's not i'll tell you that okay so it's gonna be a bad Natty Bumpercar: day but a bad day for who like i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know are we saying a bad day for me i so we're all in the same boat i've never gotten paid for anything sounds like none of you have ever gotten paid for anything how do we get paid all right sir Aloysious J. Pig: who's supposed to be paying us well i don't want to uh you know single anybody out um but your name is on on on the shingle your name is it's the bumper podcast naughty bumper car you live in headquarters coffee can alley all that you know there's a lot of stuff there so uh i'll take it over here uh so ipso facto i believe that means that all all all of the funds need to be coming out of out of your wallet natt

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar talks about turning over a new leaf and not double and triple booking himself. Also, there are turtles! Don’t miss out — listen, subscribe, and share the laughter today! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: i can't even express how annoyed i am right now i sat down to record the bumper podcast which you're listening to because you're amazing and i super appreciate it and i started fiddling why we started fiddling with the software started fiddling with the knobs which were working before so why fiddle there's no reason to fiddle and then everything broke and i didn't know how to get back there there were there were uh restarts of the computer restarts of the software um there was there were some searches there were some internet searches and uh finally i mean it's not the same as it was before but at least i can see that it's recording something which you know to me is as much of a win as i expected at this point i uh it here's the thing when i was recording i was like oh you know it sounds like there's a little bit of an echo huh oh i wonder how to fix that huh and then i started i was like maybe this will get rid of it oh oh wait what oh what just happened oh no and and so that's what uh that's what i've been doing for the last hour so it's pretty exciting uh i know you're all uh sitting on the edge of your seat saying well where's where's producer is it doesn't he normally handle this stuff doesn't he normally take care of the the the software and the bells and the whistles and whatnot yes but everyone is out right now uh i they i don't know where they don't tell me where they go um they just kind of pig took the car keys and uh they didn't even really say goodbye i the way they say goodbye is kind of sweet though they um you can just hear the door shut behind them and then you're like oh okay bye see you later okay bye i'm just gonna stay here and fiddle um yeah so i i probably should have let producer handle the uh the the the fiddling and the tweaking and the turning of the knobs and the pushing of the buttons because uh what i got myself into was a real calamity at a point i said this is a real calamity to myself out loud because um it was and that was the only way i knew how to express the frustration that i was going through i um speaking of being frustrated have tried to get better at not uh doing as many things as i was doing before so not uh not double booking double booking everyone can handle that not uh triple and quadruple booking uh that's where i seem to get into trouble i i can do uh two or three things at the same time and be in different places at the exact same time time i've i've mastered that uh but once you get up into like four it's i it really i can't do it and uh you know people get frustrated you know oh why do you why do you double triple book why are you quad booking and i'm like i don't know my brain thinks i can do everything all the time for everybody and um uh i was i was told that that's not the case not that's not how it works you know if you're if you're gonna commit to doing something then you should go do that thing and and be there like have your mind present and i was like wait so just having my my body here or just you know while i'm on the call that's in my ear and while i'm also uh walking the dog that's that's uh it's not okay and they're like no you're distracted you're you're in several different places at the same time and i'm like exactly and they're like exactly you see the tone difference there i thought i was i had it that i had figured it out and they were more uh uh frustrated so that you know that happens and that's that's fine you know i uh i don't know if any of you have ever been to a therapist it's super fun uh because they have to listen to you for however long it is and um it's a weird thing all the television shows cartoons they uh they make it seem like oh there's a couch there's there's no couch in mine at least i don't know i assume some must have a couch depending on how much space they have mine has a chair there's like two different kinds of chairs and you know sometimes you know when i'm going in and i'm chatting uh they're like well how are you feeling and i'm like i'd feel a lot better if there was a couch in here you know just because it would give me the sense uh that this was this was real that what we were doing you know i was like doc if you can't even commit to you know the proper piece of furniture then what what are we even doing here right what what do we what am i are we wasting our time i hope not but the funny thing is at the end you know after you've discussed things and talked about billing or whatever you do uh yeah they say uh so what do you uh before we you know see each other again what do you plan to do for yourself what do you you know plan to do for self-care self-care and the first time i heard that i uh actually i actually fell on the floor i you know i i couldn't catch my breath i was laughing so hard catch self-care doc didn't you hear i'm double triple quad booked how could i there's no time for self-care who's got time for self-care i gotta keep that boat afloat over there i've got to keep uh that that fire over there at bay uh and i have to keep you know i've got to keep that boat afloat over there i've got to keep that that fire over there you know the roof from leaking and i have to keep uh all the the chickens fed and uh you know on and on and on so so self-care for me is um just waking up the next day to start it all again which um evidently not sustainable not something you can just keep doing forever um you uh you get tired you get cranky you uh you might get some uh really i think wonderful bags under your eyes little dark circles right uh and might get sick more often so that's you know that's something that's going to probably happen and then you might run into the situation that i did where people get frustrated with you because you've double you've triple and you've quadruple booked yourself so i'm working on not doing more but the way my brain approached not doing more was by taking on a few different tasks uh like one being you know organizing myself in my time it's like if i organize myself in my time then i can prioritize and if i can prioritize and i won't be double and triple booked and uh i um now i spend a lot of time making notes making lists and uh prioritizing on top of everything else that i was so people were like hey you didn't make it to the meeting where were you and i'm like oh yeah yeah and that's okay i was i was organizing my time all right i was prioritizing and they're like well you you don't seem like you you know you're committed to this and i'm like but that's exactly what i'm doing i'm you know i had i had like i had to make a note with a to-do list that was broken out with different times and different days different goals right otherwise i'm not going to just flying by the seat of my pants and they're like well you maybe you should have done that when you're not supposed to be meeting with us i'm like whoa whoa whoa baby steps all right baby steps you everybody just take a deep breath and uh understand what's what's happening here and they took a deep breath and they said i well what is happening here and i said i really don't know i just i was hoping that was going to end the conversation hoping by kind of leaving that out there that that was going to be the end of it and um you know i wasn't i wasn't expecting you to keep going so honestly this is kind of on you right read the room um i was throwing up facades and i was throwing up uh you know fake fronts and i was throwing up uh all kinds of subterfuge and smoke and mirrors and and you just kind of kept on walking down the street and uh and tagged me so now i'm it and i i didn't even want to be playing tag i um yesterday i was in a reptile store i know that's hold on i hope you didn't get whiplash from that but i was in i was in a reptile store with my kids because um someone gave us uh two what are they called hatchling red-eared slider turtles and they're i don't know how big they are like i'm trying to show you but i know this is audio but they're about that big no um hmm trying to give a a good uh a racquetball they're about the the size of a racquetball around not tall because that would be weird to have a circular turtle but they're you know round and flat like turtles are supposed to be and uh the kids have named them we have spent all the money buying a new habitat and setting all of that up with filters and heaters and uh you know all the things little lights for the turtles um little uh dock that they can rest on really they're living their best little turtle lives but one of them is has been a little bit um lethargic which is a funny way to describe a turtle but it's it's true he's he's kind of just like he's there he's hanging out but he's not moving around as much and you're probably like yeah that sounds like what a turtle's supposed to do that's what i used to think too but the other turtle who i keep saying that one's a buster like that i think i've said that almost every day since we've had the turtles oh that one that one there that's a buster and what i mean by that is he kind of just like he's he seems like he's gotten a little bit bigger and he will see you coming and he'll jump into the water and swim around and uh and i used to think he was terrified but i don't feel like he's got a little bit bigger he is i feel like he's uh kind of playing with with i don't know i mean he's he's looking out of the tank sees you coming jumps and then i think what it is is he expects when i come for there to be food and so maybe he's like all right i gotta get into my eating position i gotta get into my my eating you know spot and an

In this episode of the Natty Bumpercar Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar addresses the long delay between episodes, sharing insights with Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, and Aloysious. Don’t miss out — listen, subscribe, and share the laughter today! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: okay okay okay so i apologize i am sorry and i apologize and the reason that i am apologizing is i put out an episode it was number what is it 449 and i titled it the end and then i proceeded to not make any more episodes for a long long time wait so are we back to doing this Aloysious J. Pig: because i i was enjoying the break i was enjoying not having to talk to you every week i was enjoying you know just living my life just being me yeah it's just j pig over here okay yeah Natty Bumpercar: well i get that and i totally agree i kind of enjoyed the time off as well but what tends to happen is if i'm not doing the bumper project if i'm not making drawings if i'm Unknown: no and not to be impolite but no i i need to focus today because it's been a long time Natty Bumpercar: and i have to explain what's going on and and why you know yeah well uh excuse me Rufus T. Rufus: you i just want to jump in here because i got some some question as to the when the where the what and the why you understand yes so you don't have any questions about about the who i don't i don't think i understand what you're getting out there aloysius i said uh let me think here i said the what the where the when and the why um i think i said everything there no i'm pretty sure you did Natty Bumpercar: you skip you skipped who who what when where how why i don't even know if you did how Aloysious J. Pig: yeah so what he said traditionally you start with a who who who where all right when yep what how and why who when where what yeah who where when what how and when why that's all the bases Rufus T. Rufus: yeah well i'm just i feel like i did say all of those things we're not recording this are we because I don't want anyone to go back and listen to tell me if I said something incorrect or incomplete or incoherent because I don't I got kind of used to not being recorded every time I talk and yeah Aloysius I got to say something to you as well it seems like you're used to not talking too you weren't on mic I couldn't hear you there for a second gotta talk into the mic there son come on Natty Bumpercar: I hate to be on his side but Rufus is right you kind of looked over to the side there for a second and we kind of I don't know producer are you able to hear him when he looked over to the side yes I did Producer: deep down a little bit but I think I was able to fix everything and if not I can fix it in post and I can go in and I can sweeten it and I can add a little bit of this and a little bit of that and it's going to be perfect and you'll just see you'll see but with all of that being said it is easier if you just talk right into the microphone and then my job is a little bit easier Natty Bumpercar: if I'm to be honest well I guess that's what it's all about making everybody's jobs easier I um forgot why I said that why i was apologizing oh yeah made an episode months ago the end then no episodes after why why why no i think you're the who the what the why you can't just say why why why you gotta Rufus T. Rufus: have some how maybe some win yeah definitely uh where okay no so i was just kind of emphasizing Natty Bumpercar: you know the why because i feel like we we owe an explanation people deserve an explanation we were pumping out episodes once a week new cover art we were doing all kinds of stuff and we were getting to this magical 450th episode and we were talking about getting uh theme music and pig interviews is going to start up and all kinds of cool fun stuff and then i mean it broke me is what happened i got overwhelmed i flew too close to the sun Aloysious J. Pig: oh you pulled an icarus is that what you're saying you have your icarus you know the wax the wax and your wings uh melted from the sun and then you you fell really far yep i don't know how Natty Bumpercar: far it was probably really far it was it was it was really far but it was a metaphorical fall an allegorical fall we always have this problem how many episodes have there been when i can't remember the difference between yeah homily and the simile and a metaphor and an allegory and a pastry and a baguette Rufus T. Rufus: yeah i'm hoping that you didn't break us out of the you know the the storage shed over there just to uh go into this tired old uh adage again uh by the way i i did hear that you fell now when you fail do you feel like it was anyone else's fault did you feel like maybe there was a step that was a little bit off maybe uh the curb had been uprooted or something like that maybe somebody no deliberately uh maybe your shoe exploded and then you kind of fell from anything i mean anything i'm just trying to figure out if we have a case here yeah Natty Bumpercar: no there's there's there's no case um but here's the thing here's the thing the thing of the thing is i like to try to have a philosophy where if there's a big project like i always use a wedding cake if i have to make a wedding cake and i tell my brain make a wedding cake then my brain is going to shut down it's going to it's just going to freeze up and uh you know if i keep pressing it then the whole engine up there might just break and it's because i'm approaching this monumental thing and it's it's overwhelming and it's too much and so what i like to try to do is to break it down into digestible bits like um okay i need to find a recipe okay i need to find the ingredients okay i need to find the equipment okay what's the temperature like things that are easily achievable and then just kind of go from there now that's how i normally do things and things happen and things work out but a lot of times when there's abstract things like i'm gonna make a new theme song my brain is just like i'm gonna make a like there's no there's no recipe there's no you know ingredients and so i just kind of stare at the computer and um and i'm like okay go do something yeah you do it and and then i get overwhelmed and then i stop and i it's really frustrating and um it does a fun thing where when i get overwhelmed and then i stop working on one thing then it starts to cascade it starts to flow over to other things and after a little while it's it seems so insurmountable that i can't even conceive of how to start over again of how to like okay i'm gonna go do the uh podcast great here we go uh i'm gonna set aside a little bit of time to do you know this project here we go and it's all about time management and trying to figure out a structure and i i just i don't do well with that i just start to uh i start to clam up i start to pull into my uh turtle shell i start you know i hide under a rock and uh then i put on noise canceling headphones and uh that's it i'm gone so that's it Aloysious J. Pig: that's what happened that is what happened so there was there was no fall uh who the whole icarus thing that's that's nothing is what i'm reading into this and you're telling me we had a podcast that was like ranking it was actually people people were listening we were getting numbers remember we almost got i think it was a hundred thousand listens or something crazy and then you saw that and you were like i've got to meet the moment i've got to do all this stuff i gotta get a theme song you're always wanting to get a theme song and and then you that's why we stopped and and how many listens have we been getting lately i'm just curious to see if two months of non-activity is going to Natty Bumpercar: affect the bottom line of listens so yeah producer i think you probably have all those numbers in front of you can you i guess read them out or whatever yes so Producer: um here's the thing we were doing very well and we were growing up the mountain up the mountain here we go here we go and uh so now um we don't it's like is this what's like the lowest number Rufus T. Rufus: that you can even think of now hold on is this like a riddle or something are we gonna i need i need a scantron i need a number two pencil and i i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't and I'm going to need probably a lot of erases. I like to erase a lot as I write out my notes. Producer: Nope, nope. It's not a math equation. It's just a zero was the answer. It's a pretty simple, you know, it's like we used to be like, oh, wow, look at all these people. They're listening. Oh, on Monday, they liked it. On Tuesday, oh, my goodness. And now it's like, oh, okay, some guy named Bob listened to it last Thursday, and Tuesday, Wednesday, not so much. Okay. Oh, Friday. Friday looks like one person. Nope. No, no, that's another zero. Another zero. Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. So, zero. That's a lot of zeros. That's okay. And it's okay. It's okay. You know, it's going to, we just, I got to rein it all in, get back into the flow. I love doing this. I'm hoping that you like listening to it, maybe. And if not, then I'm hoping that you're listening to it and getting something out of it, like how not to do a podcast, you know, how to almost get moderately successful and then stop doing your podcast. Like, these are things that I feel like I could speak on. Rufus T. Rufus: Now, hold on. Hold on a second. We were supposed to be like, I think we were in the comedy section, but are we going to be a how-to section now? Like how to fail at everything? Aloysious J. Pig: That's actually not a terrible idea. We should look into that. Is there a podcast that's specifically how to fail at everything? Because I think, number one, we'd go right there. Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty