The Natty Bumpercar Bumperpodcast

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Monster’s favorite sandwich shop has vanished, replaced by a mysterious boba ball establishment! Chaos ensues as the gang tries to secure their first sponsor while Monster mourns his lost lunch spot. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Explore More: Characters | About the Show | Episode Guide | All Episodes

This is the episode that Natty promised was lost in last week’s episode. It is about our recent roadtrip to Podfest in Florida. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode This is the lost episode that Natty Bumpercar promised in last week's Bumperpodcast. Natty finally shares the story of the roadtrip down to Podfest, a podcasting conference in Florida. The episode covers the adventure of hitting the road, the experiences and mishaps encountered along the way, and the fun and chaos that come with any Bumpercar travel story. Serving as a companion piece to episode 468, which covered what happened at the actual conference, this episode fills in the missing chapter of Natty's Florida adventure. Fans of the show's travelogue episodes will enjoy this behind-the-scenes look at the journey itself. Memorable Quotes “This is the episode I promised you last week! The one that got lost. Well, here it is. The roadtrip episode.” — Natty Bumpercar “You haven't lived until you've driven to Florida for a podcasting conference. It's quite the adventure.” — Natty Bumpercar Topics: #roadtrip #travel #florida #podfest #adventure #driving #comedy Featuring: Natty Bumpercar Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Explore More: Characters | About the Show | Episode Guide | All Episodes Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #469 Yeah. So, wait, hold on. So, where are we again? >> I think we're Well, I think we're in Florida, but I don't really >> No. What? What do you mean you don't really You don't know where your ear your ear? >> Did you just say ear? You mean are you don't know who you are? >> Yeah, that's that's what I That's what I was trying to say. Well, yeah, but I So, I got on a train somewhere and uh while I was driving using the map on my phone, which I used to get everywhere, the phone service just decided to break and so I didn't know where I was going. Um, and I had to stop every so often to um to find Wi-Fi and to like, you know, update the map. And it was terrible. And it made me very nervous and stressed and pretty much uh late. >> So did you So you got on the train? >> Yes, I got on the train. I I I don't know. It's like like I you give them your car and you walk inside. They give you a piece of paper. You walk inside. They give you another piece of paper and then you have to uh sit and wait for about an hour and then you get to go inside and then uh so I think the train left at like 3:30 yesterday and now uh it arrived where in somewhere in Florida at like 8:30. >> So wait, hold on. I'm doing the uh producer. Can you can you do the numbers for me? Do you see how much? >> Uh yes, yes, sir. Sorry, I am doing the math here. So, here we're going to round it up. We're going to take the numbers. We're going to go, okay, that's 12 uh I would say seven. We're going to say by 17 hours, I think. >> That's a long time. That is I don't want to say too long, but that's a long long long long time. Um, >> what wait wait wait wait wait. What' you do? What'd you do on the train? Do you get like a Did you get to sleep in one of the little sleeping things? >> No, no, no, no, no. That was way too expensive. Uh, I uh whatever I did was like 150 bucks or something. Uh to to get your own little sleeping booth thing was like I I'm going to guess $10,000. Now, let me I'm going to need to look at that contract cuz that doesn't make no sense at all. You got $1 150 just to sit in a seat and you're telling me $10,000 to that don't now I know you're not very good with money, but that just don't make even a little bit of s Yeah. So, okay. Um you So, you just sat in a chair for 17 hours? >> Well, no. I um yeah, kind of. But no, but the chair like it the back went back. It reclined and then like the the little thingy your legs came up and um so in theory it should have been nice. Uh the only problem Well, there were a couple problems. Um, I I think that I'm about I'm going to say 3 in too tall for whatever is considered uh to be the norm uh for tallness for tallitude because any place I go like airplanes and espec like this thing my if I had that extra three or 4 in then my feet wouldn't be What just happened? Crushed. My feet would not be like I have to bend them and I'm trying to like find little places to put them and it's miserable. Um everything else back kind of okay. Um the funny thing is so there was this other guy who there's two seats on one side, two seats on the other. So I get there and uh seats open and I was like, "Hey." And the guy was like, "Oh, is this you?" And I was like, "Yeah." >> So he said, "Wait, so he started off aggressive immediately." >> Yeah. He didn't want a seat, a seat pal, a seat friend, whatever. And uh so then I had to squeeze in, get into my seat. And uh the best part was in that 17 hours, those are the only words he said to me. So, uh, for me, for my money, that's that was great because I I didn't really feel like chatting with him. Um, especially, so as soon as I got and I sat down in the seat, he he was kind of aggravated and he was like, "Well, where's the armrest seat?" Cuz he wanted there to be an armrest in between us. So, you know, God forbid there would be just empty space in between us. Who knows what h what chicainery could have happened. None. Um so I always just put my little headphones on and was kind of just said goodbye. Tapped out. Um, and then the best cool thing was at some point I figured out there was a a dining car where you could go and and well and there were booths and I so I got to sit in a booth and it was much more comfortable. Um, and and um and then I they had I got a cheeseburger which was in a plastic bag and was microwaved and had no business being as delicious as it was. Um, I was kind of asking about some things on the menu and the the woman behind the counter was she's like, "I don't know. I don't know. How's that?" I don't know. All right. What about the cheeseburger? I don't know. A lot of people seem to get it. I'm sold. Ah, with those magic words, that's all I needed. A lot of people get it. Perfect. And uh, so I sat down and I uh, the w there was Wi-Fi, so Hold on. Nothing. What did you say? Like what? Flowers like that. It doesn't make any Yeah, I heard him. I heard him too. I was going to say something else and then I heard him. I said because Are you a fancy person now? Cuz you're riding on a train that you're saying like a Wi-Fi like that. No, I just It came out weird. I stopped. Um but now you know so I got to use the Wi-Fi which means I got to work which everyone knows I love to do all the time and uh now and now I you know I I think I sat there working for probably 3 or 4 hours and around 10:30 or so this guy who was working on the train uh walked by with this box and he was just like hey who wants you anybody hungry? and he just had all this free food. And he gave me uh a thing of I'm going to go with chicken enchiladas, but I really don't know. And uh yeah, it was it was delicious. It was spicy. And uh it was free, which you I love free. I love working and I love free. Um, so then I I didn't go back to the my actual seat until closer to like 11:30 or 12 cuz I knew like I was tired and I could just go and I could pass out. All right, great. Okay, so we don't need a run by like minute by minute of the entire trip. Um, why are you in Florida? Oh yeah. So, I'm I'm going to a a podcast convention called Podfest and um and I get to speak at this thing now. Hold on just a second there. What do you mean you're going to speak? You're speaking right now. Why are you gonna Why'd you have to go 900 miles onto a onto a a train and and and and and just to talk because I mean you could just talk wherever you are you seem to do. Everybody always Oh, now there's talking again. There you go. He's talking some more. Yeah, I do know that people do say you do talk. >> Talk what? No, I'm sorry. You do talk a talk a lot is I didn't I I kind of trailed off there a little bit. I um Yeah. Hey, what's uh what's going on with your uh your eye? I noticed it's looking a little strange. Yes, I was. Ah, so I guess earlier this week I was just kind of sitting there minding my own business, watching television or whatever and uh one of my kids came in and he he he was just, "Hey, hey, Dad." And then he stopped and he got this terrified look and then he pointed at me and he goes, "What's wrong with your eye?" And I thought my eye just kind of hurt. I It's just kind of like pressure. It's like, "Ah, I'm looking at the computer too much." whatever. And I got up and I I looked in the mirror. My left eye and was uh all bright red. So uh uh why was it all bright red, dude? What do you What happened? Well, evidently I burst burst a blood vessel in my in my eye. And so I had something I don't remember the words. It was some super crazy Latin sounded like a magic spell words. Um and I didn't know what. So I gave it a couple of days and I was just like maybe it'll just go away on its own. You know, I was putting ice packs on my eye which uh is weird. It's like a very cold pirate type of situation. And then it wasn't going away. In fact, it was getting worse. So, finally I I went to a doctor and they um they checked it out and they were like, "That's some sort of subcutaneial blah blah blah he hemorrh hemorrhage hemorrhage blah blah blah." And blah blah gave you some medicine. But then it was something else too that other words that I don't know. It's always good when I go to the doctor because I come home and my wife is like, "What did they say?" And I'm like, "I don't know." Like, I pretty much I'm in a conversation with the doctor, listening as I should, you know, uh

Natty Bumpercar recounts his experience at a podcasting conference in Florida, where he lost an episode and stayed at a moldy hotel. He describes the overwhelming environment, his difficulty connecting with people, and his health issues, including a low oxygen level that led to a two-day hospital stay. Despite initial miscommunication with his team, they eventually realized something was amiss. The podcast team humorously discusses various mishaps, including lost pants and misunderstandings about HR and Healthy Ribbits magazine. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode Natty Bumpercar recounts his wild adventure attending Podfest, a podcasting conference in Florida, in this eventful episode of the Bumperpodcast. The trip takes a dramatic turn when Natty describes staying at a moldy hotel, feeling overwhelmed by the conference environment, and struggling to connect with fellow podcasters. Things escalate when his oxygen level drops dangerously low, landing him in the hospital for two days. Back at headquarters, the team discusses the mishaps with their usual comedic flair, including Natty's mysteriously lost pants and a running gag about HR actually standing for Healthy Ribbits magazine. The episode is a perfect blend of real-life misadventure and the Bumperpodcast's signature silly humor. Memorable Quotes “The hotel was moldy, I couldn't breathe, I lost my pants, and somehow I ended up in the hospital. Classic Podfest experience.” — Natty Bumpercar “We didn't even realize anything was wrong at first. We just thought you were being… you know… you.” — Producer “HR doesn't stand for Human Resources. It stands for Healthy Ribbits. Everyone knows that.” — Aloysius J. Pig Topics: #podfest #conference #travel #hospital #florida #pants #comedy #health Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Explore More: Characters | About the Show | Episode Guide | All Episodes Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #468 Where where where where have I been? Where have I Where have have I been? I'm here now. Uh but I was I was somewhere else. I was I was in Florida and I I I recorded an episode, but I don't I can't find it. It did not It's somewhere. It didn't upload. It didn't do any of the stuff. So, you you're just you have no idea. I went to a a a thing a pod a podcasting conference a pod fest and I spoke and it was it was it was nice. I uh I didn't manage to stay at the hotel where the conference was because I uh looked at it too late and that's fine. I was staying maybe an eight 12 minute walk away. Not too bad. Uh and you know I thought that's fine. I can walk over. I'll walk back. It's going to be pleasant. And and it was cold. And also the hotel that I was staying in, I my assumption I made an assumption was all this is in Orlando. This is very close to, you know, big things, parks, whatever. You know, people are going to come here. It's going to be nice. And well, I made a I made I made a mistake is what I did. >> Yeah. What kind of mistake did you think you did? Hold on a second. What kind? There we go. What kind of mistake do you think that you made? >> Oh uh hey pig. Um well my first mistake and I have to apologize immediat. I am so sorry that that I did not you did not come with me to the conference. I got there and I looked around and I was like I'm here by myself. I don't have any of my little gaggle of uh of friends. Uh well before you accept friends right let's just acquaintances right work friends I think that's fine >> yeah proceed yes I tend to agree that you know we are all friendly here at work hello everyone it's me producer and we are friends here at work of course but we don't really um run in the same social circle so much you know so kind of tough when you're like oh my friends you know I don't we don't know anything. You know, pretty much the second that you leave the studio, we're like, "Okay, see you later." >> But no, none of that's true. We all live at headquarters together. And no, I don't know why you're trying to make us work friends. We We are just friends. And I >> Hold on a second there, Nat. Uh, it's me, Roffus to Root T Rufus. Uh, now we're going to get into a little bit of a gray area here cuz we we now while you were gone, you know, Gallivant down uh in in sunny Florida, we you know, kind of we had a an HR meeting. >> Oh, you did human resources. How did Where did we have that here? >> Wait, you're saying HR stands for human resources? Okay, then we maybe we didn't do it right at all. Uh, we were talking about Homestar Runner. >> Oh, now hold on a second. You can't just go out just saying that. That's I think that's trade copyritten marked. We were talking about uh HR puffing stuff we were talking about. Now, hold on because I was at this meeting as well. And I thought we were talking about HR, which is of course the big magazine that's done in this swamp called Healthy Ribbits, which is all about telling frogs how to live a happy life, a healthy life. Uh we do box breeding, cro cro for 4 seconds in, 4 seconds out, and the whole thing. But I don't know what HR you guys are talking about right now. >> Yeah. Good. I'm glad that you had Okay. I again was in Florida. I staying at a hotel and it looked nice from the outside, but then you go inside and the first, you know, the lobby nice, the people nice. Uh and then you go into the elevator upstairs to the second floor where I was and it smelled like mold. It smelled like wet moldy dog, which I don't know is if that's a thing, but that was the that was that was what I was hit with as soon as I got out of the door. And it was called it was like an extended stay, which means I guess people you can live there maybe, but which doesn't make sense to me because it was far too expensive for that. Uh but every room had like a kitchenette. Wait, like a um >> wait, you saw Janette? Janette was down in Florida. Oh man, I I lost touch with Janette. so long ago. And I uh >> No, >> no, >> no. It was a kitchenette. >> Yeah, kitchenet. >> Oh, sorry. >> Yeah. Uh so a kitchenette is just a small kitchen. Sorry. Uh and and it was it was terrible and I never even uh I would walk right through there. Um all the furniture was pressed up against the wall, which was ve it was very nice looking. Uh, and and and the bed. Um, I I left the covers on and I used my bag as a pillow and um I put a what's the thing? A uh >> Is it a Is it a blanket? >> A blanket? No, not a blanket. >> Oh, if you're talking about the thing on the bed that you put on top of your cell, that's called a blanket. So, you you on the right path there. Just want to help you out. >> It could also be called like a covers. Uh, you know, you got a you got your covers, you got your blankets, you got your throws, you got your uh I don't know uh t what what is it thing that where you take the the blanket, but it's got like a empty and so you put the stuff a duvet might have been a duvet. It was loud. >> Uh or was it a uh uh an afghan? >> No, sorry. So, it was my mistake cuz I see what I put a towel down on the bed. Uh, and then I used uh a couple of other towels as as blankets. So, you guys are right with blankets. U but I used it. I didn't want to touch the bed basically. It was great. Uh I I uh fully clothed with a jacket on. It was good. It was really comfortable sleeping in in mold. Um, and I I you know, if I find the hidden episode hidden, by hidden, I mean lost. Uh, it'll tell you all about that the the train that I took down there. I drove to a place and then put my car on a train and then I got on a train and it was a it was an adventure. Uh, but not now. I want to talk about. So I I would go to the the the podfest, right, and wander around and there were all kinds of people there and there were all kinds of talks and there were lectures and there were uh there was a a hall of people selling their wares, hawking their goods. And I uh you know, I would walk up and I'd be like, "Hi." Like, "Oh." And oh, do you have a podcast? was like, "Yeah, you know, you have a I have to wear a badge. It had my name, had the bumper, podcast, all the stuff." And and and and I, you know, it was it said uh speaker. It was red on the bottom. And so then they would talk to me a little bit. Uh but I just it was I had a hard time connecting with people. It was very loud. It was very overwhelming, overstimulating. And um you know, but you know, that's kind of the nature of of the the thing. I think I uh intentionally went to this to be outside of my comfort zone and whoa boy was I. So, uh I got there on Thursday and I went to this thing and I went for a lot of the day on Friday and was kind of just feeling like ick. And so I ended up just going out and getting dinner uh and wandering around like this shopping place, which was, you know, not what I was there for, but uh I needed to uh to to reset a little bit. And uh had the most delicious fried chicken that I think I've ever had. Uh then I I got up the next morning and I was like, "All right, I'm gonna my my talk is at 3:30 and I'm gonna I'm gonna get up and I'm not going to go straight there. I'm going to go someplace where I can work and I'm going to build out my my uh >> Are you intentious presentation and everything? >> Your presentations. You're not presenting well today. I got to say this is Are you intentionally being boring or what? What are we doing? Is this how we do the podcast now? We're trying to Is this a sleep podcast? We trying to lull people to sleep. >> Fine. No, I'll skip ahead. I did my talk. I didn't feel great and I kind of lost my voice while I was talking. I was lik

Aloysius J Pig and a special guest discuss technical difficulties with recording their podcast, including equipment malfunctions and the need for more snacks. The guest reveals his identity and shares insights into his busy holiday season, including logistical challenges like navigating homes without chimneys and dealing with pets. They reflect on the joy and challenges of Christmas, with the guest emphasizing the importance of spreading joy and the emotional aspects of the holiday. Aloysius humorously suggests that the guest become a professional podcaster, but Santa remains focused on his preparations for the upcoming year. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!   Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe   About This Episode Aloysius J. Pig plays host alongside a very special guest in this holiday episode of the Bumperpodcast. After struggling with technical difficulties and equipment malfunctions, the mysterious guest reveals himself to be none other than Santa Claus. Santa shares behind-the-scenes insights into his busy holiday season, including the logistical nightmares of navigating homes without chimneys and dealing with household pets. The conversation turns heartfelt as Santa reflects on the joy and emotional weight of Christmas, while Aloysius humorously suggests that Santa should pivot to professional podcasting. A charming episode that blends holiday warmth with the Bumperpodcast's signature absurdist humor. Memorable Quotes “The homes without chimneys are the real challenge. You'd be surprised how many people don't have chimneys anymore.” — Santa “Have you ever considered becoming a professional podcaster? You've got a great voice for it!” — Aloysius J. Pig “Spreading joy is the whole point. Even when it's exhausting, even when the pets try to bite you.” — Santa Topics: #christmas #santa #holidays #podcasting #technicaldifficulties #snacks Featuring: Aloysius J. Pig, Santa Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Explore More: Characters | About the Show | Episode Guide | All Episodes Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #467 No. Yeah, but I'm sorry is what I'm saying because it was the whole thing that wasn't working and No, I know. >> Yes. Well, I I think we should just let uh let the water under the bridge, I think is what it's We should let the water flow under the bridge. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, we're not going to mess up this. Okay. So, quick update. We've been trying to record this. We actually did record this a couple of times and the equipment said, "You know what? You recorded it. Great job. We're going to eat it. And uh it was hungry. That's our fault. Okay. We got to give it more snacks, whatever. But now we found a whole other device. We got a lot of devices around this place. And it seems like it's working, which is very exciting. >> Yes. And I I feel like we should probably do the introductions again and maybe even try to remember what we HAD TALKED ABOUT BEFORE so that we can I don't or else we can just do this a recap of the things that didn't happen. That seems, you know, to completely fine as well. >> No, no, no, no. Point taken. Hey everybody, it's me Alawishious J Pig here on the Bumper podcast. Uh Natty is I don't know and I have this uh interview and I'm so thankful that you've been so uh patient with me this whole time uh because this has been very frustrating for me and I'm and I'm sure for you. Um so YOU SHOULD INTRODUCE YOURSELF. >> WELL, YES, OF COURSE. UH hello everyone. It it's it's um it's it's Santa Claus. I'm not even going to beat around the bush. In previous recordings of this very same episode, we kind of played little games like, "Oh, who could it be?" You know, and who and then Alawishas would ask me questions and we would, "Oh, it's it's Santa Cl. It's me. It is Santa Claus." I feel like it's pointless to do that at this point because the point of the point is [laughter] I'm just kidding. Anyway, nice to see you everyone. >> Yeah. Well, we didn't go over that. So, this is not a video podcast, Santa. Uh, we asked for a few uh video things in a in a stocking or under the tree and uh it didn't didn't happen. And that's totally fine. You know, we uh maybe we weren't as good as we thought we were. What you know, however it works. I don't know. >> Hold on there. We just you know, I did see your list. All the lists that are sent come to me. I look at them. I go over them. I have a special highlighter where I will highlight the things that I think we can get and then that we put it over on the side there. There's some budgeting and I don't know if you realize but uh audio and video equipment is very expensive. The elves they can't even make that type of stuff and so we have to um outsource it as it were uh to other other places. There's there's uh uh gnomes, of course, they work more in uh I guess wood wooden things. We have the dwarves that are doing the stone. I don't know who it is who does our electronics these days, but the point is you you put these you lists are a suggestion. All right, lists are I'm not going to go checkbox, I got it, checkbox, I got it like that. Uh, but what I will do is I will look at it and I will try to figure out as best as I can. And I think that you had a pretty wonderful Christmas if I'm not mistaken. >> No. Yeah. Yeah. Abs. Absolutely. I did. That was not meant to detract in anyway. Great Christmas. Woke up. Um, can I tell you the kids, Bumpak kids, they actually slept until, get this, 5:45. So, we're getting close to daylight almost. Uh, and uh, but then it was it was just very pleasant. hung out with family, uh saw all the people, uh you know, high-fived a friend or two, and uh just try to take it easy, take a little bit of a a break. >> Well, that's that's wonderful. Well, I'm happy to hear it. I uh myself, I was very busy over the holidays. >> Yeah, that that makes sense. That makes sense. Uh you got a lot going on, obviously. [laughter] >> Yes, obviously. I I didn't even think about it when I said it, but yes, I was. It's my busy time of the year, obviously. Uh, but it was it was wonderful. It's always my favorite time of the year again, obviously. But it it's just it's it's it's a nice thing that is there was a time of year that some people look forward to and of course some people they get to that time of year and it's difficult and I understand that as well and and and I feel I feel bad. I I I wish everyone could share in as as much joy as they can, but as as life has it um there can be outstanding uh outstanding outstanding there we are um outstanding issues or or whatever it is that that that that can detract from the joy you know you know also I think if you're not looking um at the spirit of the whole thing then and it's easy to get lost in the sauce as They say maybe that's like a a North Pole thing. I don't know. I've never had lost lost in sauce. I don't know. Uh here in New Jersey, I think it's gravy. So, we get kind of wavy in the gravy. No, I don't know. Hey. Um so, what we were talking about in the other episodes, um well, first off, I can't just leave that hanging. Yeah. Uh it's it's one of those seasons where it's full of happiness, right? And but it's also full of it's uh just a big bubble of nostalgia. And then sometimes, you know, like for times past and then sometimes it's nostalgia for stuff that never even happened, right? Like maybe, you know, you're you're conflating all the different Christmas stories with Rudolph and the the the the Frosty and whatever it is, the heat miser, and uh you know, you're you're squishing that with your childhood or whatever it is. And and you know it's it's it's it can it can get a little bit emotional, a little bit overwhelming. A lot of stuff going on. A lot of lights, a lot of tensil, a lot of presents. Are they going to like it? Did I spend too much money? Okay. Now I'm getting I'm getting uh I'm getting um the glimpmp and I It's okay. Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath. >> You all right? Are you going Are you all right there? Yes. Well, it is it's true. It is It is It is overwhelming. Um but my hope is that and everyone can at least make an attempt to to find a little bit of light in the season. Um you know the the the the year is coming to a close. We just do we just drop something and a new year's coming about which is it gives you at least the the hope of of of a new fresh beginning. Um, and and hopefully there are some memories throughout the life that you can pull upon that will uh, you know, make you happy about about Christmas time. Maybe it's you. I don't I for me, I don't really know. I don't know cuz I'm on just building and taking toys. But I know, you know, for instance, I I sometimes I get the opportunity to go to houses. Um, people invite me over. uh sometimes before Christmas, sometimes a little bit after. And they they say, "Santa, we need you to be here on this day." And I actually am able to come sometimes, not all the time, and to see the children uh the the faces, the glee, the joy where they're like, "Oh my word, Santa is in our house right now. How is this happening? He's talking to me." You know, and it's it can be uh hot warming is is really what it can be. Hot melting, if I dare say. >> Yeah. Well, and and good good job. You should be a professional podcaster. Wait a minute. The Santa Claus tales where you go on every week and you talk about the good list, the naughty list. Oh. Oh. Okay. I'm going to talk to Rufus. We're going to get it. You're You're locked in. You're now you're on officially on the BPN, the Bumper Podcast Network. Oh, no. Hold on one sec. I don't feel like I can or should or want to do that. But talk to my people and they can talk to yo

Natty Bumpercar and Aloysius J Pig attempted to record a podcast without their producer, who was on vacation. They faced numerous technical issues, including a chilly studio at 48 degrees and malfunctioning wires. Despite their efforts, the recording equipment failed. Aloysius humorously recounted his search for a tomato soup can to record, while Natty yawned into the microphone. They received messages from their producer and Rufus, who warned them about the cold studio, broken wires, and not eating frog cookies. The episode concluded with a reflection on their failed attempt and the chaos that ensued. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode Natty Bumpercar and Aloysius J. Pig attempt to record a podcast episode without their beloved Producer, who is away on vacation. Chaos ensues as the duo faces a freezing studio at 48 degrees, malfunctioning wires, and complete equipment failure. Aloysius hilariously recounts his quest to find a tomato soup can to use as a makeshift recording device, while Natty yawns directly into the microphone. The pair receives warning messages from Producer and Rufus about the cold studio, broken wires, and a mysterious caution about not eating frog cookies. The episode is a delightful showcase of what happens when the behind-the-scenes magic of the Bumperpodcast falls apart. Memorable Quotes “I found a tomato soup can! We can record into this, right? That's how podcasting works?” — Aloysius J. Pig “It's 48 degrees in here. I can see my breath. This is not ideal podcasting conditions.” — Natty Bumpercar “Whatever you do, do NOT eat the frog cookies.” — Rufus T. Rufus Topics: #technicaldifficulties #producer #cold #recording #chaos #cookies #vacation Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysius J. Pig, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Explore More: Characters | About the Show | Episode Guide | All Episodes Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #466 So, we came in the studio today and producer is on vacation for the end of the year. Whole uh frog thing. He goes home to his family. Good for him. And we were like, we should record an episode and we can do this by ourselves. We don't even need producer. And well, and we we we fell uh flat on our faces. Okay. So, we came in the studio. Uh it was 48° which is a little a little bit chilly and uh nothing nothing was working. >> Yeah. And even now I don't know if anything is working because none of the wires were working. Like we plugged everything in and we're like okay this isn't working. And then we tried some different wires. We tried a whole different system, a different setup and it didn't also didn't work. And um >> so we we're really we're trying not to complain because we want we know we're like hey we're going to be at a podcast convention. We're going to be speaking we're have all these new people who coming in. [clears throat] They're listening. That's wonderful. And so we're like oh let's you know put out some episodes and you know late in the year and say hi to everybody. And this is this isn't the best foot forward is what I'm saying. >> No it is it is not. And we're a minute in and Okay. Okay. So, we're trying not to be negative and uh our producer is on vacation and the studio I didn't know that he he comes in and he preheats the studio. I didn't know that that was something that he did. I thought that the studio was always just kind of nice and warm and toasty, but um it's it's not. And so, that's something that we learned today. And we also learned Rufus came in and immediately I think he got like a step into the studio and he just turned and and walked away and he said something like not on my watch which doesn't even make sense. So it's just me, Natty Bumper Car and Alawishious is here too. Yeah. Uh luckily as a pig uh I am immune to cold and that's not true. I'm actually I listen I'm a I am a pig. I have pink skin and it's I feel cold constantly. I don't know what the pink had to do with anything. I'm just I can see my pig breath and it everything hurts. Like I I sat down on the chair and I was like it's this chair is harder than it usually is. >> Yeah. >> And uh Yeah. I sat on the couch and um it actually it crinkled like it was frozen or something. Um, which I don't I hope it's I don't know why it would be. It would have to be have been wet to be frozen and then that's concerning to me as well. Like maybe there's a leak in here or something. Um, but you know what? It's okay. Who cares? We got we got this thing working and there's so far there's no feedback and and and it seems like we're having it. Let's so let's you know what? Let's have a podcast. Let's forget the last three minutes of our lives. Hey Alawishious JPG, how are you doing? It's so great to talk to you. >> Uh yeah, this is strange. It hasn't been just you and me in a long time. It's usually we got a producer, we got the uh the Roffus and you know uh I actually do you remember it was a few episodes ago Rufus was talking about when he was a kid and he they used to have a a tomato soup can and they would put uh they would record the episode that way. So, I went into the pantry when you couldn't get the equipment working and I was looking I was actually looking for tomato soup can because I was how desperate I was and I was just like we're I'm going to make this work. I'm going to figure this out. If Rufus T Rufus can figure out how to make a podcast with a uh a tomato soup can, then I I think I can do this. I think I can figure it out. There was There was no tomato soup. There was no soup at all. There was some uh uh crackers uh that were open and very stale. And there was uh a sleeve of some sort of cookie that looked like an Oreo but was not an Oreo. I think uh I don't know, some sort of off-brand. And I tried one and my tongue um I can't feel my tongue right now. Is that strange? Is that something that's supposed to happen when you eat a cookie? Nothing. I mean, I've never had it before, but maybe that's a new thing. I don't know. No. Oh no. Oh no. I just broke the co cordinal cordinal cardinal rule of podcast. I yawned into the microphone. How are people going to come to this mic this podcast and they're going to say, "Oh, I should be listening to this. This is something I should be enjoying." And then the host starts yawning. >> Oh, man. What a disaster. >> No, it's good. Natty, uh, hold on. I just got a phone call. Got a voice message here. I think it's actually from Roffus. So, I'm gonna see if I can get it up to the microphone to see if we can get it to play. I just to see. I don't know what it's I don't know what it is, but we're kind of floundering here. Hey, Alawish. This is Roffus. Roffus. It's very cold outside there. I did not want to partake in being part of a podcast today. All right. So, I came back inside and I Oh, >> so far it's just him saying exactly what just happened, which is perfect. This is good. This is This is taking the podcast in a whole new direction. Uh, press play. Press play. >> Well, WANTED YOU TO KNOW that uh uh the there's no soup out in the pantry out there. Uh, I brought it all inside. And there also there's some there's some cookies out there. I do not recommend uh eating them that that's not going to be good for you. I just you don't need to know a lot about the cookies. But all I'm going to tell you is uh refrain if you can from eating them. They are not for you. All right. >> All right. >> Now, another thing uh Okay. So, a little bit of the cookie mystery is now solved. Uh, don't know what I ate. Don't know when I'm going to be able to feel my tongue. Cool. Um, I guess the lesson there is don't just go eating random cookies cuz you don't know what kind of cookie it is or what it's going to do to your tongue. Perfect. So, now we've learned. Good. So, now the podcast has a good learning lesson to it. But also this this message by Rufus, it just seems to keep going. But I mean again, we don't have anything to to talk. So let's I guess we keep going and seeing what happens that yes, I think that that is really it at this point. I don't want to say that Rufus is saving the podcast, but uh and it kind of feels like he is a little bit. So I guess go ahead and uh and press play. >> Another thing. And I said another thing. So that'd be what another one other thing uh that I wanted to discuss was vacation time. Now Alawishas, I know you're not in charge of the schedule and whatnot, but it just feels like uh producers going to if he's leaving for the last two, three weeks of the year, that's a long time for us, especially going into the the new year. We we GOT TO BE RECORDING our whole like best of and our whole wrapped up session, you know, like all the there's like things that all the the people do at the end of the year. So, I think we should probably talk to whoever it is who does the scheduling and and figure out if we can uh how we can better uh address this and you know, but that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about. Hold on. I'm trying to remember. >> Okay, Natty. Uh, I don't know if that's you thing or who does do we even do we do scheduling? Is there a calendar or I think from what I understand we just kind of leave and appear whenever we do. I don't know. >> Um, yeah. So, I'll I'll let you handle that. But, uh, I'm looking at the message, you know, you can see how long it goes. >> Yep. >> We're not even halfway through. So, uh, do you still want to keep going or >> Yeah. No, no. I mean, I I I feel like maybe at some point we're going to cut it off, but uh he's really he's really rambling right now. He's really going. It's good. So, um maybe he's going

Natty Bumpercar discusses his frequent distractions, likening himself to a squirrel chasing shiny objects. Rufus T. Rufus humorously corrects him and shares nostalgic stories about using tomato soup cans, contrasting with modern conveniences. The producer mentions technical issues with new equipment. They debate the timing of holiday-themed episodes, with Rufus criticizing early Christmas displays. Natty suggests making their Thanksgiving episode late, mimicking stores’ early holiday promotions. The conversation meanders into a humorous tale about a classmate named Artie Doyle, who aspired to be an author, and the absurdity of his nickname “Tomato Soup Can.” You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode In episode 465 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar admits he's been distracted again, leading to another delayed episode. Aloysious J. Pig calls out Natty for trying to do a Thanksgiving episode a week after the holiday, just like their belated Halloween episode. Meanwhile, Rufus T. Rufus launches into an increasingly absurd story about tomato soup cans from "back in the day," claiming they contained just one whole tomato and required opening with a goat's horn. The rambling tale somehow connects to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, whom Rufus claims to have known as "Artie Tomato Soup Can" in school. Producer struggles with the new podcasting equipment while the characters debate holiday timing and question whether any of Rufus's stories are remotely based in reality. Memorable Quotes “What is the bumper podcast about? It's about me being distracted, it's about me forgetting I have a podcast, it's about me seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object.” — Natty Bumpercar “We're gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday. It's the opposite of stores when you go in and it's November and they got July 4th stuff out.” — Aloysious J. Pig “We would take a can, tomato soup, because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time. We would use the goat and his horn and pop that can of soup open.” — Rufus T. Rufus Topics: #distraction #thanksgiving #halloween #nostalgia #tomatosoup #storytelling #holidays #podcasting Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Robot Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: so i've been distracted and that's something that happens pretty often i think you know sometimes people say well what is your podcast about what is the bumper podcast about and i say it's about me being distracted it's about me forgetting i have a podcast it's about me uh seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object and picking it up and then dropping it because look over there is another shiny object there's a lot of shiny objects out there and and they all require me to uh you know at least give them some of my attention which then does take away from everything else in my life and and that's fine right that's how life it's Aloysious J. Pig: how the life of a squirrel works bro bro bro bro hey it's me aloysius jpeg uh you're not a squirrel okay you're like a uh i'm gonna guess middle age probably past middle age uh person who uh talks into a microphone and uh it's a squirrel thing you know like let the squirrels be the squirrels let you do you sorry my voice is a little off today i might i might have caught a cold or something i noticed that um hey everyone it's Producer: me i'm producer uh so i think part of the problem this week is it's my fault because we have this really fancy um do that uh technical term that we have on the board we have a new board we've had for a year so it's not really all that new but it has a lot of buttons and has a lot of lights and it has a lot of knobs so many knobs and it has um uh slide slidey do's you know the slidey do's and um a screen and uh well i keep on trying to plug it all in and and see what will happen with the podcast and it keeps on uh not not working not working at all Aloysious J. Pig: now wouldn't you hear everybody this is uh myself rufus to rufus aloysius i think whatever you got i might have caught as well oh that's what happens in the winter time everybody says oh it's too hot oh it's look at i'm sweating all the time it's too hot i wish it was colder and then it gets colder and everybody gets a cold anyway so uh you said that this new system it's got some slidey do's now and i told you you know that was extra money to buy them slidey do's and we don't we don't we don't we don't we excuse me we do not need it all right all we when i was originally doing podcasts back in the day uh i don't you know i don't i know you youngins don't like to hear when i say you know like back in my day but back in my day when we were in podcast what we would do is we would we would uh we would take a can uh tomato soup because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time uh chicken didn't come chicken noodle didn't come until much later so we had our tomato soup and and and we would eat it you know for supper uh one can per family per week and uh we would save up our cans and uh clean them out all good uh and here's the thing when i when i was when i was growing up the cans they didn't they didn't have these little pop tops like y'all have with y'all soup cans now you can just open them up anywhere you can just walk around town open up a can of soup pop and then drink it on up nice delicious lukewarm maybe cold soup in a can oh man the life the life of riley is what we're living we actually had to take a a rock or maybe a a knife sometimes we could take if if if the goat would let us we take the the goat and we'd use his his horn and we pop that little pop you know that can of soup on open pop like that and then but the edges it'd be very jagged right so we couldn't use them for our projects until you're on okay sorry you're on a real roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now all of us are on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what you what's going on and i do want to come back i want to circle back i want to circle back to whatever you're talking about with the soup with the cans the tomatoes the the goat all these things sounds very interesting i'm sure it's gonna really draw in the uh the listenership but uh let's focus back over here real quick on on on natty yeah what what has been so distracting to you that you uh have have uh yet again Natty Bumpercar: forgotten what you're supposed to be doing i um well i i also i i want to i think the soup thing might be more interesting but you know uh i was thinking about it and you know we had i think the last time we recorded was a big we had a big halloween episode and that was kind of fun and we should make this the uh we should make this our thanksgiving episode and no uh producer i don't know if you're ever able to get in touch with turkey or not but i um Aloysious J. Pig: producer don't answer that so listen up natty the the halloween episode that we did was fun but it was also a week after at least a week after halloween and now we are again a week after thanksgiving and you're over here like oh so are we gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday you know because in a way i was gonna knock it but it's kind of brilliant because you know people might be like oh i kind of had fun on halloween i kind of miss it oh wait we're still talking about halloween great great great great it's the opposite of like stores when you go in and it's november and they got july 4th stuff out that's too early okay that's why that's i don't want to say what's wrong with the world today because there's a couple of things but i think one of the things is putting out christmas stuff um on february okay that's way it's too early it's thrown everyone's holiday rhythm off so we don't know when we're supposed to oh wait i was supposed to buy the the pool for outdoors in november oh well i i should have thought of that you know no that's not how you put the pool out in in april in may right when we're gonna need the pool not we can't be living in the future or living it sometimes it feels like we're living in the past because you don't know when the holidays are happening and the it's all it's all messed up yeah now now you're talking about it start living in the past you know we just was kind of back in my day uh so we had these cans of soup tomato soup and it wasn't the way it worked but we didn't even it wasn't even soup it was just one tomato sometimes you know inside of a can it wasn't cut up it wasn't i still had the green thing on top right the core i guess it's called they say it says on the can it says uh uh there's tomato soup ready to make or something like i forgot what it was but it was you know right now they used to have these pre-planned meals people get on these uh plans and then and then the box will come over to the house and i guess sometimes it's recipes and sometimes it's just like uh almost like uh what do they call television dinners where the meals already made and put in the little container that's what it was but it was way before and all it was and it said something like just add water just like that right and so you had your tomato and your can for your tomato soup and you would you would get that tomato out and you'd put it in some water and you'd cook it up and and that was the meal that Producer: we had yeah yeah hold on rufus so i think we're going to we're trying to this year's again we might do a whole episode on this maybe a whole season but i think we're still trying to fuck but i think we should oh okay no we're gonna stick with the soup yeah perfect perfect perfect Natty Bumpercar: okay my bad i'm sorry no not your fault at all that that was we had talked about getti

The Bumperpodcast episode revolves around the hosts’ reflections on missing Halloween due to busy schedules and the subsequent confusion about the current date. Natty Bumpercar expresses his love for Halloween, while Aloysius J Pig and Rufus T. Rufus discuss the logistics of returning Halloween decorations and candy. They reminisce about a group costume theme and the challenges of dealing with return policies. The discussion also touches on the transient nature of seasonal stores and the idea for a podcast exploring the history and disappearance of such stores. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode In Bumperpodcast episode 464, Natty Bumpercar discovers he's completely missed Halloween after getting too caught up in organizing a comedy festival. Rufus T. Rufus reveals that while Natty was busy, the gang went to a Halloween party as a "country breakfast" costume group—with Rufus as a biscuit, Aloysious as orange juice, and someone as eggs and bacon. They even won the costume contest! Now Natty is left with a room full of Halloween decorations, bobbing-for-apples equipment, and no way to return them since the pop-up Halloween store has mysteriously vanished. The episode features hilarious discussions about the ephemeral nature of seasonal Halloween stores, the stress of return desk interactions, and GPS robots with attitudes. Producer suggests they move on to planning the next holiday: Thanksgiving. Memorable Quotes “I was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween. I've never been gravy. I've never been a condiment.” — Natty Bumpercar “We did a group costume. I was eggs and bacon and Aloysious was orange juice… you were supposed to be gravy but you never showed up to the party.” — Rufus T. Rufus “I went back to the Halloween store and it was gone. Like tumbleweeds in the store. Gone. They just appear out of night.” — Natty Bumpercar Topics: #halloween #holidays #costumes #timemanagement #shopping #seasonalstores #comedyfestival #thanksgiving Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: well happy halloween it is halloween finally man my favorite holiday of the year bar none i i love everything about it i love the candy i love going out and finding pumpkins and and carving up the pumpkins and turning them into jack-o'-lanterns and and what what how what really how did oh come on hold on sorry hold on natty it's uh actually almost middle of november at this point i i know i yeah i know i know i understand i like halloween a lot too but it was weeks ago it was like a long time ago i don't know if you fell asleep i don't know what happened i know you've been really busy because you're always telling everybody just how busy you are but uh yeah i hope i got the receipts for all these costumes and i'm looking around the room here we got uh uh decorations we got is that a bobbin for apples we got we got to return all this stuff we can't sell if we ain't having a uh what is a halloween episode right now then what am i what why did i go to the store and and purchase all this yeah how is it how is it middle of november we should probably could have somewhere in here have any kind of indication as to what day it is i yeah no i see the calendar on the wall over there that's from 1987 so that that's not helping me right now okay that doesn't do anything good at all man two weeks ago i completely missed everything i missed halloween Rufus T. Rufus: yes yes it was a long time ago i um we actually we did a group costume right and um i was um it was i was eggs and bacon and aloesius was um orange juice it was and then uh the rufus what were you a scone or an oh no yes you were a biscuit that's right that's right and so we were like a we called ourselves a country breakfast you were supposed to be gravy but you you never showed up to the party and so we we missed it and it's yeah but we we it was a lot of fun yeah i think that's right well we can't do a halloween episode now okay we gotta move on to the future there's a lot of other holidays that are coming up that we need to acknowledge and represent and you know do everything for so uh yeah we let's just we have a lot of episodes left so let's just put the halloween on the shelf and sorry i hurt my back there for a second uh and then we can uh move on to maybe the types of giving or something we can invite turkey to come Natty Bumpercar: and he loves to talk on the podcasts and you hit some story and everything right seven an entire holiday i don't even care that i missed two weeks of life but i did i missed i missed i missed halloween what have i been so busy doing what why have i completely managed to miss and ignore and miss not really ignore but i missed halloween how did that even happen somebody got it in the head that somebody had to have a comedy festival they were like oh look at me out of nowhere i'm just gonna invent it inventicate invent invent them uh invent just invent i think a comedy festival and and and you did that and now it's it's you know coming up really soon and it might have already happened i don't even know because i have completely removed myself from that situation and uh yeah maybe you started to miss a lot of things in life because you're doing such a giant ridiculous thing it's like you know uh hey wait you guys went and played uh putt-putt mini golf without me what where was i you were building a rocket ship you know it's like you got bigger things on your plate right now and we didn't want to bother you so you missed country breakfast halloween kind of amazing won the costume contest that's right everybody high five in the air high five there you go never won it i've never even been like in the rankings of a costume contest and i i was i was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween i've never been gravy i've never been a condiment i've just been you know it's whatever i can find but rufus i got i got so wait we have all this stuff around all these like decorations and all this can't like can you i guess if it's if we've missed it and if we're not going to do halloween for this episode if we're going to just move on to something completely different what um can we return the stuff it's like do you have all the stuff is that something that can you yeah i do i do have receipts um however we got Rufus T. Rufus: everything you know when there's a uh a building it was maybe a business and maybe it was just like um you know uh just like a lean through with some sticks and then people aren't there anymore and then the second you blink and it's um september and then all of a sudden it's a halloween store you know it's like there was a hospital over there oh my goodness the hospital close the halloween store like that you know hey remember when we used to go to the park and there was that fun little ice cream place down the corner that's a halloween store we went to one of those right but the thing is once you go to the halloween store you buy the things if you ever try to go Natty Bumpercar: i was wondering about that because i put it up in my maps on my telephone here and i said uh halloween store and it was trying to send me to sacramento that's far away and i said uh halloween store uh close to me and it didn't understand what that so i said uh halloween store near my location and then the phone had had the gall the guff to say to me uh would you like me to use your current location i said well of course i do i said i what i said was i was looking near my local of course i want you to use my current location i'm not gonna just inventify some place that i'm gonna be in the next hour and 37 minutes like i want to know right now if i wanted to know then then i would i would be asking you then little little map little little map robot i don't even know what his name is but he needs he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude i don't know if you have been driving around with this this little robot and he's always like turn left and i'm like i'm in the right lane i can't turn left right now little robot and he's like you missed just you missed your chance mister your your your new nickname is mr chance because you missed your chance and now you're gonna recalculate why are we still using 2020 whatever this is using the term recalculate you ain't recalculating nothing you just going back into the map and and fixing my flub why don't you call it uh flub refixing or something like that all right because now i'm getting heated i'm getting angry anyway i tried to go back to that halloween store the one where i bought all this stuff because i i forgot i forgot to get the little wax uh vampire teeth that we were gonna have we're gonna have a little game and then i went back it was gone like tumbleweeds in the store gone i think that maybe not this podcast clearly because we can't we can't do this but some podcast needs to do some research do a deep dive maybe one season is where do all these stores go and then where do they come from you know they just appear out of night it's like oh empty shopping center it's a halloween store yeah and then uh whenever i don't know the strike of midnight on november you know i don't know the day because i don't know if they're open like a day after i don't know but where do all these things go where do the employees go are they sucked back down into like some hole in the ground or do they go to like a warehouse in caucasus something like that that is new jersey uh that sounds like a terrible podcast it sounds like it would be maybe one maybe one episode it would couldn't just consist i guess you could pad it out a little bit you know do the when i was gro

The Bumperpodcast episode opens with an apology from Natty Bumpercar for last week’s episode, which had no audio but was voted the favorite by listeners. Aloysius J. Pig reveals the episode’s popularity, leading to a humorous discussion about the podcast’s cast, including Rufus T. Rufus, the producer, and various recurring characters like Doodle Poodle. The conversation meanders through personal anecdotes, name jokes, and a brief discussion about improving escalators with LED lights and music. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode Natty Bumpercar and the gang open with an apology for last week's audio-less episode, which Aloysious J. Pig hilariously claims was voted the best episode ever. The crew discusses the convenient naming conventions on the show, with Producer revealing his name isn't a nickname but his actual birth name. Rufus T. Rufus boasts about his many fabricated superlatives, while the gang debates whether they're a work family. The conversation takes a wild turn when they propose giving escalators a glow-up with LED lights and music, leading to Producer's panic about potentially dangerous suggestions. This episode showcases the Bumperpodcast's signature improvisational comedy and character dynamics. Memorable Quotes “That evidently that was voted uh everyone's favorite episode of the bumper podcast ever… they said it's perfect it's the best episode we've ever listened to… because there was no audio so they didn't have to listen to all of the rigmarole the shenanigans” — Aloysious J. Pig “I'm a frog and then people are like oh i wonder what you're going to be when you grow up and hop off the lily pad are you going to be a farmer and i was just like i don't know” — Producer “You took a classic song of the uh hip-hop genre and you uh you did that to it… not whatever elevator music” — Rufus T. Rufus Topics: #podcasting #apologies #names #family #escalators #music #workplacehumor #technology Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Doodle Poodle Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: no but it's what i hold because what i'm saying is it was we made a mistake and i oh hey uh bumper podcast kateers it's me natty bumper car this is the bumper podcast yada yada yada thank you for listening um we're starting the episode off this week with an apology evidently last week we recorded an episode that's not the evidently part but it went out with no audio which for a podcast is um what i have read a very important piece uh hey actually hey natty it's me always just jpeg um and i was looking over the numbers with producer and uh i didn't know that they even had this but that evidently that was voted uh everyone's favorite episode of the bumper podcast ever like out of all the episodes out of all the listings everything that one top of the peak the number one it's not even like uh what do they call it recency bias or nothing like that they just just the words they were saying about this thing they said it's it's perfect it's the best episode we've ever listened to of this podcast really of any podcast uh make more like this but there was no audio there was nothing nobody there was no oh now i get what you're doing okay no now i see i see what you're doing and it makes sense that was their favorite episode of the podcast because there was no audio so they didn't have to listen to all of the rigmarole the shenanigans the uh hold on there natty uh you know you can't just go throwing around words like uh rigmarole shenanigans you know you yep yep what you're doing there is you're pointing the finger at everybody else here on the bumper podcast myself included hello everybody my name is rufus t rufus i'm the i was going to say the legal lawyer around here but i'm the local legal lawyer and and uh i just want to make sure that i keep natty that i keep you in line and i keep you in check all right because we want to make sure that you ain't just out there willy-nilly talking about whatever stuff Producer: you were saying before yeah no so listen i don't care about what wherever words is he saying the thing i think that it's hurting me everybody hello my name is producer i'm the producer of the podcast and it's not a nickname it's like i was born and my name was producer and i'm a frog and then people are like oh i wonder what you're going to be when you grow up and hop off the lily pad are you going to be a farmer and i was just like i don't know i don't have any plans really and then lo and behold the way life went i ended up being here as a producer which is fine it's a you know it's okay i guess you're okay business if you can get into it but then you know you release one episode with no audio and everybody's all of a sudden like they are they're the producers at home and they're like oh you know you didn't push the button that makes the thing out there over there that with the audio in the wav files and mp3s and you know all these technical terms that i know a lot about but everybody knows yeah settle down there uh that producer also i didn't know that Natty Bumpercar: i was i didn't honestly i didn't know that was your actual name i thought your name was something like fred or something uh uh delores i don't i don't i don't uh uh i don't know i was going to think of a name with an r at the beginning but i can't eat roger that's a name that begins with an r uh w name winfred willifred i thought your name could have been willifred um but evidently your name is actually producer which is very convenient and helpful for us i gotta say that this podcast is never helpful okay um usually it's very convoluted and confusing and uh people are like what's happening what am i listening to what is going on but with you breath of fresh air uh they're like oh wait okay so that one's name is producer and uh and then they produce okay good perfect where where's host host hosty to make some hosts hosty that's no it's just there's it's not like his name is producery or anything like that it's just producer and so if you're asking where the host is i that's me natty bumper car um and your name is aloe jay pig you see how that worked out uh there sometimes there's a robot on the show every his name is is robot so that's very very um you know smart naming uh that we're doing there uh yeah producer you're just you're okay that's that's that's cool rufus t rufus you're that's your name um of course there's i'm trying to think of other people who sometimes come on the show there's uh there's there's doodle poodle Doodle Poodle: hi natty that's me doodle poodle i'm of course a dog a poodle who likes to doodle Unknown: oh Doodle Poodle: what's up does anybody want to do some drawings with me or anything Natty Bumpercar: we're good doodle poodle thanks for stopping by natty listen he's not like on the movie where you got to say his name three times the the second you get into the fourth syllable of this you know the second syllable of the second word so the fourth syllable he's already running down the hall thinking you know this is his big shot um yes okay i get it pig uh poodle um uh but your name's not like natty host your name's natty bumper car which makes no i don't even listen people come up to me in the street and they go so is that actually his real name and i say yeah his name is rufus t rufus it's you know it's the same forward and back i guess i don't know and they're like no no no no no no no the other one yeah i'm i'm i don't i don't appreciate you bringing my name into this uh but i do kind of like that uh people do bring me up for i'm what you would call consider a uh fan favorite at this point uh voted most likely to be succeeding from the bumper podcast uh king i was a king of prom at the bumper podcast that one year uh i brought in the most donations at one time president of the class of the the bumper the bumper podcast i have a lot of uh superlatives that i like you know that i i've earned over the years and i'm proud of it you know and i just want people to know about yeah of course so i i am not just rufus t rufus i am so much more than that Producer: all right i agree and oh my goodness i am so sorry i am yawning it has nothing to do Natty Bumpercar: with you going on and on uh listing everything that was in no way made up all the superlatives that you have earned um anyway yeah so uh yes that is sure it's my real name pig why did you don't have to engage with these people they uh it was actually my family like um you know cousins yeah and my kids okay grandpa's a family reunion okay gotcha yeah so i felt like i had to understood thank you all right i'm not i'm not gonna go to a family reunion where they're like we're kind of worried about you are you sure that this is the right career path for you and i'm like yeah it's going well then they're like but his name uh is it bumper car seems to be a strange name is all i'm saying yeah and again i okay i totally agree uh but i think what i had to ask in that situation is you can just you can take it you know listen to them and you know i don't know just kind of agree and uh walk away or something i don't know i thought we were pals we're not even if y'all pals the the blood uh the family family reunion is thicker than any kind of water or substance uh or whatever it is you know that we have going on here we're kind of like a work family right you know we come in i assume i'm like uh i don't know uh i'm the funny uncle uh uh let's see here uh uh uh natty you're like that the uncle that gave up a long time ago um aloe vicious you know i'm gonna you're gonna be like the den leader i assume yeah that's perfect that's what i've always Producer: aimed to be for this group the den leader yeah and so let's see here we have the funny cousin her uncles the cut the the for the day i don't i forgot all

Natty Bumpercar announced co-producing the Montclair Comedy Festival in Montclair, New Jersey, from November 13-15. The idea stemmed from his job loss and subsequent anxiety attack. Natty secured the festival’s URL, trademarked the name, and assembled a committee to review over 100 applicants. He built a website and an app for ticketing and show announcements. The festival gained support from venues and Eventbrite. Natty highlighted the importance of inclusivity and the role of his friend Suzanne in organizing the event. Despite challenges, the festival is on track, and Natty feels accomplished and excited. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode In this special episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares exciting news about co-producing the Montclair Comedy Festival in New Jersey, scheduled for November 13-15. Natty recounts how getting laid off from his job sparked a whirlwind of creative energy that led to organizing an entire comedy festival in just months. He discusses his long history with Montclair comedy, including 15 years producing shows at Tierney's Pub, and how the late Pat Grillon inspired his comedy journey. Natty details the festival's development process, from securing the domain name and trademark to building custom apps for performers and managing over 100 applications. Despite Aloysious J. Pig's brief interruption at the end, Natty successfully shares his passion project with listeners before anyone can derail the conversation. Memorable Quotes “I got laid off on a thursday and i immediately just went into a shell inside myself in the corner and um i was kind of rocking back and forth in the corner and then i rocked too hard and the shell cracked open” — Natty Bumpercar “I have big, dumb ideas, but then she can use spreadsheets, and then she makes it make sense.” — Natty Bumpercar “Everything's going to be super smooth and super easy. What are you doing? We're recording an episode now? I didn't mean to talk over you.” — Aloysious J. Pig Topics: #comedyfestival #montclair #liveevents #showproduction #careerchange #mentalhealth #creativeprojects #stand-upcomedy Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: all right i'm gonna get to it right now i'm gonna get to the point we're not gonna doddle i have fun exciting news and i want to tell you about it before anyone even comes in the studio and bothers me or interrupts me or tries to tell me something silly hi this is natty bumper car with a bumper podcast and the cool news is that i'm helping co-produce the montclair comedy festival in montclair new jersey november 13th 14th and 15th and i am like so beyond excited i have wanted to do a festival type thing for a long time i've done benefits i produce shows uh we you know all kinds of stuff but finally like i don't know what happened but something in me just uh oh wait that's right i got laid off from my job and then i had an anxiety attack and i didn't sleep for like three days and that's not good but the good thing that came out of that was a festival which is strange but that's what happened i uh i got laid off on a thursday and i uh immediately just went into a shell inside myself in the corner and um i was kind of rocking back and forth in the corner and then i rocked too hard i and i bumped and i the shell cracked open and i was and there i was And I thought, I got to do something. I can't just sit here and be sad. Let's go. We got to figure this out. And so I started thinking, Montclair Comedy Festival. Montclair has Montclair Pride. They have the Jazz Fest. They have a literary festival. They have Montclair Film. The Walnut Street Fair. I don't know. That's different. But you get the point. There's a lot of stuff going on in Montclair. And there used to be a comedy club there, right there on Bloomfield Avenue. It was called Rascals, and it's not there anymore. And so I said, well, that's strange. Let me research this to see if it exists. And I looked up Montclair Comedy Festival, and there was nothing. So I got super excited, and I went and I got the URL, montclaircomedyfestival.com. And then I went and I got all the socials. And then what did I do? I went and trademarked the name. And I don't know if you know this, but I actually helped produce a show there for like 15 years. On every Sunday night for 15 years. Rain or sleet or snow, but not ice. And not big time sports games. Sports games? Yeah, sports games. And it was great. It was at a place called Tierney's Pub, and it's on Valley Road. And it was upstairs, and when the pandemic hit, it kind of went away. And I think everything went away. And I was kind of like, oh, okay, there goes Tierney's. And the main person whose show it was, her name was Pat Grillon. And she went away. She just said, no more for me. And she passed away, which is horrible and depressing and sad. But, you know, I kind of didn't know what to do because it was her show. And for people who don't know, it's her fault that I started doing comedy again, really. When we moved up here from Georgia, I started doing it a little bit back there when we were in Georgia. But I had no intention. I was kind of… I was like, it's done with me. Okay. And then I passed this place, and it had a big banner outside. And it's like, comedy, Sundays, blah, blah, blah, beer thing, whatever, special. And I was like, huh, all right. And finally, I got up the gumption. I don't know. It wasn't like I didn't get up the gumption of the courage. I just finally remembered to pull in. And so I did that on a Sunday, and I went up. There was up these stairs, very steep stairs, very creaky stairs. And I got to the attic where it was and walked in. And there was just this woman there. And I was like, hey, this is who I am. This is my story. I want to… And she was like, okay. Like, immediately. That's what she did. And so then she gave me a date, and off we went. And really just… So great. So wonderful. And then over the years, I just kind of ended up trying to be as big of a help as I could, just because I could learn, and I could get more stage time, and I could host a lot, and I could figure stuff out. And it was a great learning experience. But then again, when the pandemic happened, and when she passed away, I was kind of like, all right, well, comedy was fun. Comedy was great. And I don't want to do it anymore. But then it came back. We started doing outdoor shows. Some people did a lot of Zoom shows. I only did a few because I found it very confusing to be sitting on my couch, staring at people in their little squares. And then they're like, all right, it's your turn. And having to turn on your microphone and be like, ah, here's my jokes. Ah. Anyway. So what happened? What happened? What happened? Oh, yeah, outdoor shows. And then my pal Suzanne, she found a place called LaSara Gardens, which is next town over. And I guess they have a stage in the back. And she was walking around one day, and she just went to the owner, like just went to her and said, hey, could we have a show here, comedy show? And like, I don't. I have no concept on how you do that. But she did. And good for her. Because we've been doing shows there for like three years. Sweet and sour comedy, right? And so we've been doing shows there. We've been doing private shows. We've been doing benefits. Kind of all sorts of stuff. And that's been wonderful. And then last year, I don't know if you remember, but I was talking about Jaws the musical. And we were producing that as sweet and sour comedy. We were in it. And we applied and got into the. New York Fringe Festival, which was super cool and super weird and different and scary for me because I had not I don't I had to learn songs at a learn lines. I had to sing songs, you know, and I had to they did blocking. What does that mean? That's what you're supposed to be. What do you mean? When we had the specific time that you say that you're supposed to look over there and be over there and then do that. And it's just like, oh, I have to. OK, I have to put all of that into my brain. And it's like. It's like an hour long thing. Perfect. Great. This is going to work out well. Well, it did. It was fun. And the festival happened and it went great. And, you know, it was a big experience and another big learning thing. And then we kept doing shows back to the stand up stuff, the normal stuff. And then, you know, I'd kind of talked about festival stuff every so often, but it just seemed like a big impossible thing. And then when I got laid off. On a Thursday and then I had the panic attack, I just I did all that stuff. I found a URL and then I built the Web site and I all this stuff was just like I figured out the structure of how I wanted to get people into the festival as far as like them applying. And I got a committee of people from around the country and so that they could watch the videos and fill out a rubric and they would take the rankings from that. And we put it into spreadsheets. So we had all the rankings and we were able to look at different aspects of their rankings and, you know, just like kind of do it from a more fair perspective than just, hey, we're having a festival. Hey, we're going to have all of our friends on it. You know, that's that's that's something that's fine if that's what you want to do. But I was trying to make it just a more inclusive thing. Right. I didn't even watch the videos because I wanted to be hands off from that. And we had over 100. People apply, which is bananas to me and kind of in the same time as that. Oh, wait. So so I went to Suzanne on like Monday or Tuesday and I was like, hey, we're having a festival. She's like, what? And I was like, Montclair Comedy Festival. And she's like, when next year? And I

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Rufus T. Rufus tries to pick up where he left off in the last episode, where he was telling the gang all about how he had fallen in love. As can be expected, he doesn’t get very far … You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode Rufus T. Rufus takes center stage in this episode of the Bumperpodcast, attempting to continue his story from the previous episode about falling in love. True to form, Rufus barely gets a word in as the other characters constantly interrupt and derail his romantic tale. The episode captures the chaotic ensemble energy that makes the Bumperpodcast so entertaining, with the gang unable to let Rufus have his moment. Fans of Rufus will enjoy watching him try desperately to share his feelings while the rest of the Coffee-Can Alley crew creates their usual lovable mayhem. Memorable Quotes “If you would all just let me finish… I was trying to tell you about how I fell in love!” — Rufus T. Rufus “Rufus, we're all very happy for you, but maybe we could talk about something else first?” — Natty Bumpercar Topics: #love #rufust.rufus #romance #interruptions #chaos #storytelling Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Natty Bumpercar Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Explore More: Characters | About the Show | Episode Guide | All Episodes Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #461 Now, as I was saying, last episode I was talking about being in love, and I can't wait to tell y'all all about it. That's right. I Roffus T. Roffus >> wait >> am finally in love. >> Okay, that's great. and amazing that you actually are remembering what we did in the last episode and you've decided to continue it cuz that's not something we normally do. We are not very good at being a serialized podcast. Um, normally we record an episode and then uh by the time we walk out of the studio uh everybody's forgotten everything and today >> hold on your Okay, but that you wait just No, >> I know. Yeah. You don't know. Your voice sounds insane today. Like uh and you you had like a weird lisp. Now I'm doing it. I What's going on? Is it c is it catching? Is it is it Hey, producer, can you look up? Is there some sort of a lisp? Uh lis they That's rough list thing going around. >> Sorry. All right. Something in my throat is Well, >> it's probably a frog, is it in your throat? >> No, it's another frog in my throat. Well, you know, uh evidently uh let's see here. Uh that little froggy producer over there. He's got a little bit of a cough, a little tickle in his throat. Uh Natty, you're up there. I heard you with having a problem with your S's. Now listen to me. I'm the only one here who can speak. I can say lisp with no problem whatsoever. Okay? I can say sless selling seashells down by the stutter at the seashore. No problem. But you know, so I guess it's going to be my episode today. Finally, we're going to focus on some real issues. Uh, and and that's me, my life, and and me being in love. >> No, I'm fine. I just It's We've never recorded an episode this early in the morning, and I do not feel like I've properly woken up. It is. And it's not really that early, but it's it's 7 o'clock in the morning and uh normally that we're not recording podcasts at this time, but that that's what we're doing today because we have so many cool things to talk about and >> Yeah. Yeah. So, we got to talk about me being in love. >> I'm pretty sure that that's not on the uh docket. I'm pretty sure that's not on the list. Uh it's not on the whiteboard. It's we are not that's not what we're doing today. Um but Natty, take it away, I guess. >> Okay. Yeah. Uh and if I if I'm to be honest, the stuff I'm going to talk about now feels kind of weird and boring and uh I mean it's cool. Uh I mean, but you know, Roffus is in love, so that feels like that's kind of important too. And I don't know if that I just I mean the stuff we're talk I want I don't know. Producer, what do you think? >> Yeah. Well, I um Sorry, I had a little drink and my throat feels better. The water is good for me. Um I I think that we have already wasted almost four minutes of this podcast. Four minutes of everyone's life who is listening that they'll never get back and they're oh my goodness, this is my for me, you know. And uh we could have already probably talked about the Rufus whole situation and been done, right? And then you could talk about ah whatever it is you want to talk about, but uh instead, you know, we just kind of keep going back and forth. Rufus is in love and he's got good stuff to talk about. And then everybody is on their bicycle or on their train with whatever they however they listen to this and they're going to talk about are they going to talk about anything at all? I don't know. They're just kind of going back and forth and you know they're doing that in their in their head. I'm hoping maybe they're looking around that other people if they're on a train and they're saying maybe they're listening to this. Maybe that maybe maybe she's listening. Maybe that she's frustrated. I can see her brow is is furrowed but maybe she's frustrated because she's now listening to this and and she's at the same part maybe I am randomly, you know, and and she's like why am I going to talk about anything and nobody knows? Nobody, they don't never know if they're going to talk about Can we just I I'm just I'm struggling. I'm struggling. >> You're you're struggling because uh Natty over there, he's being strictly business. And what I'm talking about is is is is is I'm stuck in an is loop there. Is a matter of the heart. It's a matter of the soul. It's it's it's I'm not doing it again. All right. Maybe I'm I'm a little bit emotional. Maybe that's why I keep getting stuck. Now, normally I come on here and I talk about the law, right? As I'm a lawyer. But right now, we're talking about a little bit. We're getting a little bit deeper in with Roffus little. We're going past the skin. We're we're taking back a few layers and we're looking at what makes him tick his heart. Right. I'm a romantic. Everybody didn't know that, but now you do. I'm a I'm a man about flowers. I'm gonna give you chocolates. I'm gonna hold your hand at the beach and and we're going to uh make fun of seagulls. Whatever you do at the beach. I don't really go to the beach. I'm afraid of it. Uh the water. I don't This is going to come get me. I have dreams. Uh but I'm I'm what I'm saying is I'm here for you and and I'm I'm ready to talk about my my my relationship. Okay. So, uh, Natty Producer has a point. We were at, uh, when were we? We were at four minutes. Now we're at six minutes. And, uh, so we really >> burning through the podcast and ain't talked about nothing. And so, uh, let's I say we let Rufus say his thing and then we'll we'll move on. We can talk about your stuff at the end. We'll give it a good good segment. All right. >> That's fine. I I don't even remember what I was I was excited to talk about some stuff and now I don't even remember what it was. Um I kind of checked out on the podcast a while ago. Um yeah. Okay. Go Roffus, go ahead and tell us whatever you I don't I'm excited to hear about it. I know it does you don't hear it in my voice but I'm going to blame it on being tired and um having a plan and that being just thrown away. So, let's focus on what we're doing. And Roffus T. Roffus, you're in love. I tell us about it. >> Yep. Well, Natty, I can tell by the tone of your voice that you was not sincere. You was insincere right there. And that's fine because you're a man who doesn't know about love. You're a man who doesn't know about the magic of a relationship, you know. And uh that's that's unfortunate for you, but that's a you problem. And for me, I'm going to talk about what makes me happy. And everybody out there who's listening, they're going to maybe it's going to put a little pep in this step today. All right. So, um let's see here. >> Yeah. Instead of you just rambling, I'll do the uh where did where did you meet? Where where's this where's who is this person? Where are they from? >> Yeah, I like this. This is good. We're going to interview you. Okay, here we go. And where are they from? Well, remember last last time we was talking about the applications on the on my telephone. And uh there's the games I like to play. There's the one with a little jewels one that looks like candy. Candy, but candy. That's jewels, but that it attacks. And there's a monkey, I think. And it's it's in space. I should mention that. Uh uh underwater space. Okay. The un uncharted. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Anyway, uh so there's a chat feature in these games and uh >> Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. I remember we were talking about the games and you were giving them your credit card. You give them all their information and um Oh. Oh. Um is this is this where you met the love of your life, Rufus? No, you don't. Sometime we had a problem where people don't like you, right? And and I think it's because of your tone. I can normally I can't hear it but when it's directed towards me I can I can actually I understand where the people are coming from like you're saying words but there's something in them something under them right and and and and and uh I don't I don't I don't appreciate it and I don't like it. All right. Yeah. I met her on a game and and she had a a a cool name. It was uh rainbow, but there was no uh no vowels in there. So, R N B W Rainbow and and then some numbers and uh and somehow she put one of them emojis in there. Little like a little uh upside down smiling kitty cat, right? Just that's just is who she is. She's she's just an individual. She's perfec

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, there is a song. A nifty song. Then everyone is distracted when Rufus falls for an internet scheme … of love? You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode In this chaotic morning recording of Bumperpodcast episode 460, Rufus T. Rufus is determined to continue his story from the previous episode about being in love—a rarity for this typically non-serialized show. The early 7 AM recording time has left host Natty Bumpercar struggling with his speech and energy, while Producer battles a frog in his throat. As the minutes tick by with endless banter about who will talk about what, Rufus finally reveals he met someone special named "RNBW" (rainbow with numbers and an upside-down cat emoji) through a mobile game's chat feature. Despite Natty's skeptical tone—which everyone keeps calling out—Rufus enthusiastically describes his budding digital romance with this mysterious gamer who always seems to log in right after he does. The episode showcases the show's improvisational comedy style as the characters struggle to stay on track while producer and Natty can't help but question Rufus's new relationship. Memorable Quotes “I'm a romantic everybody didn't know that but now you do. I'm a man about flowers, I'm gonna give you chocolates, I'm gonna hold your hand at the beach and make fun of seagulls.” — Rufus T. Rufus “We have already wasted almost four minutes of this podcast, four minutes of everyone's life who is listening that they'll never get back.” — Producer “Her name was rainbow but there was no vowels in there so R N B W rainbow and some numbers and somehow she put one of them emojis in there, a little upside down smiling kitty cat.” — Rufus T. Rufus Topics: #love #onlinedating #mobilegames #relationships #morningroutines #podcasting #skepticism Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Robot Full Transcript Rufus T. Rufus: now as i was saying last episode i was talking about being in love and i can't wait to tell y'all all about it that's right i rufus yeah t rufus Natty Bumpercar: and finally in love okay that's great and amazing that you actually are remembering what we did in the last episode and you've decided to continue it because that's not something we normally do we are not very good at being a serialized podcast um normally we record an episode and then uh by the time we walk out of the studio uh everybody's forgotten everything what and Rufus T. Rufus: hold on you're okay but that you wait no i know yeah you don't know your voice sounds insane today like uh and you you had like a weird lisp now i'm doing it what's going on is it is it catching is it is it hey producer can you look up is this some sort of a lisp uh lisp all right that's that's rough lisp thing going around Producer: sorry sorry i am all right something in my throat is probably a frog Rufus T. Rufus: it's not a frog in my throat all right well you know uh evidently uh let's see here that little froggy producer over there he's got a little bit of a uh a cough a little tickle in his throat uh nutty you're up there i heard you with having a problem with your s's uh now listen to me i'm the only one here who can speak i can say lisp with no problem whatsoever okay i can say sally's selling seashells down by the studebaker at the seashore no problem but you know so i guess it's gonna be my episode today finally we're gonna focus on some real issues uh and and that's me my life and and me being in love no i'm fine i just it's we've never recorded an episode Natty Bumpercar: this early in the morning and i do i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know feel like i've properly woken up it is and it's not really that early but it's it's seven o'clock in the morning and uh normally that we're not recording a podcast at this time but that's what we're doing today because we have so many cool things to talk about and yeah so we got to talk Rufus T. Rufus: about my me being in love no i'm pretty sure that that's not on the uh docket i'm pretty sure that's not on the whiteboard it's we are not that's not what we're doing today um but natty take it away Natty Bumpercar: okay yeah uh and if i if i'm to be honest the stuff i'm going to talk about now feels kind of weird and boring and uh i mean it's cool uh i mean but you know rufus is in love so it feels like that's kind of important too and i don't know if that i just i mean the stuff we're taught i don't know producer what do you think yeah well i um sorry Producer: i had a little drink and my throat feels better the water is good for me i'm i think that we have already wasted almost four minutes of this podcast four minutes of everyone's life who is listening that they'll never get back and they're oh my goodness this is my for me you know and uh we could have already probably talked about the rufus whole situation and been done right and then you could talk about whatever it is you want to talk about but uh instead you know we just kind of keep going back and forth rufus is in love natty's good stuff to talk about and then everybody is on their bicycle or run their train whatever they however they listen to this and they're going well i don't know it's gonna talk about it are they gonna talk about anything at all i don't know it's kind of going back and forth and you know they're doing that in their in their head i'm hoping maybe they're looking around at other people if they're on a train and they're saying they're listening to this maybe that maybe maybe she's listening maybe that she's frustrated i can see her brow is furrowed but maybe she's frustrated because she's now listening to this and and she's at the same part maybe i am randomly you know and and she's like well they're gonna talk about anything and nobody knows because nobody they don't ever know if they're gonna talk about can we just i'm just i'm struggling you're struggling yes you're struggling Rufus T. Rufus: uh natty over there he's being strictly business and what i'm talking about is is is is is i'm stuck in an is loop there is a matter of the heart it's a matter of the soul it's it's it's i'm not doing it again all right maybe i'm a little bit emotional maybe that's why i keep getting stuck now normally i come on here and i talk about the law right as i'm a lawyer but right now we're talking about a little bit we're getting a little bit deeper in with rufus little we're going past the skin we're taking back a few layers and we're looking at what makes him tick his heart right i'm a romantic everybody didn't know that but now you do i'm a i'm a man about flowers i'm gonna give you chocolates i'm gonna hold your hand at the beach and and we're gonna uh make fun of seagulls whatever you do at the beach i don't really go to the beach i'm afraid of it uh the water i don't this is gonna come get me i have dreams uh but i'm i'm what i'm saying is i'm here for you and i'm i'm ready to talk about my my relationship okay so uh natty producer has a point we were at uh when were we we were at four minutes now we're at six minutes and uh so we're really burning through the podcast and ain't talked about nothing and so uh let's i say we let rufus say his thing yeah and then we'll move on we can talk about your stuff at the end we'll give it a Natty Bumpercar: good good segment all right that's fine i i don't even remember what i was i was excited to talk about some stuff and now i don't even remember what it was um i kind of checked out on the podcast a while ago um yeah okay go rufus go ahead and tell us whatever you i don't i'm excited to hear about it i'm excited to hear about it i'm excited to hear about it i'm excited to hear about it i know it doesn't you don't hear it my voice but i'm gonna blame it on being tired and um having a plan and that being just thrown away so let's focus on what we're doing and rufus t Rufus T. Rufus: rufus you're in love i can't tell us about it yeah well natty i can tell by the tone of your voice that you was not sincere you was insincere right there and that's fine because you're a man who doesn't know about love you're a man who doesn't know about the magic of a relationship you know and uh that's that's unfortunate for you but that's a you problem and for me i'm gonna talk about what makes me happy and everybody out there who's listening they're gonna maybe it's gonna put a little pep in this step today all right so um well let's see here yeah instead of you just rambling i'll do that uh where did where did you meet where where's this where's who is this person where are they from yeah i like this this is good we're Producer: gonna interview you okay here we go and where are they from rufus well remember last last time we Rufus T. Rufus: was talking about the applications and the uh on my telephone and uh there's the games i like to play there's the one with the little jewels one that looks like candy candy but candy that's jewels but that it attacks you and there's a monkey i think and there's a it's in space i should mention that uh underwater space just go okay it's uncharted yeah sorry yeah anyway um so there's Natty Bumpercar: a chat feature in these games and uh oh okay okay okay i remember we were talking about the games and you were giving them your credit card you're giving all the information and um oh oh um is this is this where you met the love of your life rufus now you know natty sometimes we had a problem Rufus T. Rufus: where people don't like you right and and i think that's the problem i think that's the problem i think it's because of your tone i can normally i can't hear it but when it's directed towards me i can i can actually i understand where the people are coming from like you're saying words but there's something in them s

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Aloysius explains a phenomenal new idea for the podcast – you can’t wait to hear it! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, and Producer spontaneously break into an improvised song that quickly devolves into comedic chaos. The crew discusses trying group therapy to reduce their on-air fighting, but the conversation takes an unexpected turn when Rufus reveals he's gotten caught up in a suspicious mobile game. After accidentally giving away his credit card information to a game about planetary princesses, Rufus has moved on to a communication-based social experiment game where he plays as "Kool Cat" (spelled K-U-L-K-A-T). The episode hilariously escalates as Rufus explains the game's bizarre mechanics—starting with just blinking and sighing, then graduating to simple emotional lines—and concludes with the shocking revelation that he believes he's fallen in love within this strange digital world. Memorable Quotes “I think it's okay to have fun and for it not to be perfect. And if it's a little silly, or if you make mistakes, because that's kind of how you learn, is by doing.” — Natty Bumpercar “I gave up my sandwich for this? I could have stayed over in the kitchen, is what I'm saying.” — Rufus T. Rufus “The big news here, everybody is in this game, this communication games. Well, I think that I have fallen in love.” — Rufus T. Rufus Topics: #improvisedmusic #friendship #onlinegames #scams #therapy #communication #socialmedia #identity Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Producer, Robot Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: oh no oh is it happening i'm not sure hey aloysius yeah get on over here what is this Aloysious J. Pig: it sounds like a song yeah i'm rolling rolling rolling everybody knows i'm rolling rolling i'm a ball i'm a ball i'm up on the hill and i'm rolling go hey paul are you a chicken i think Natty Bumpercar: that you're a chicken everybody knows that i love little chicken hey everybody slow everybody just Rufus T. Rufus: think this song could be great if you don't say stupid stuff um no you're in my head and i don't Doodle Poodle: know what to say i love the music and i love the beat but i don't know what to say i agree this was Natty Bumpercar: fun but then all of a sudden there's rules and stuff and i don't know what i'm supposed to do and i don't know what i'm supposed to say is this dumb i feel like this is dumb am i being dumb right now yeah Rufus T. Rufus: okay if you gotta ask then you're probably being dumb if you gotta ask this you know the song is done how about that producer shut it down now wow you know that was that was fun we haven't done a little song like that in a long time so i understand we're a little bit out of practice but honestly uh producer that the the the the the the beats the jams the rhythm it was all so much fun i was i was astounded by it great job yeah no i heard uh i was i was a little bit out of my mind I was over in the kitchen, right? I was going to make myself a little sound. And I heard a calamity over here, the ruckus, if you will, the music. And I said to myself, I'm going to hold off on this sandwich and go see what everybody's up to over in the studio. And I came over, and y'all looked so happy, smiling, and your head's bopping to the beat. And then I stopped listening to the words, what you're saying, and I said, I gave up my sandwich for this? This is what I can't, I could have stayed over in the kitchen, is what I'm saying. Yeah, well, again, I was having fun. Natty Bumpercar: I think it's okay to have fun and for it not to be perfect. And if it's a little silly, or if you make mistakes, because that's kind of how you learn, is by doing. And we haven't done a song in so long. Rufus T. Rufus: And then right when we came in, I heard the music, and I was like, this, let's, you know, I didn't expect it, and I didn't know it was going to happen, but was I excited? Yes, very. And was I ready? Not so much. I don't even have my rhyme book. You guys, if I'm to be honest, I don't even, I didn't bring it in today. You know, I brought these receipts. I brought, this seems to be a candy wrapper. This is a napkin. I just, I have garbage. I have garbage in my pocket here, but I don't have my rhymes. So, you know, I just kind of went with it, and I don't know. Now, Natty? This is, I hear you. This is all valid. I appreciate you. Producer: Um. Yeah, it's really, you guys are doing great with the therapy, right? We're doing group therapy, and so sometimes we all get together, and we talk, you know? And so we were trying to figure out how to not fight on the podcast as much, and we, so we, so now what we're going to do is we're going to bring in another person, a third party, and talk to them about it so that we could kind of, you know, stop, again, fighting on the podcast. Rufus T. Rufus: Wait, you guys actually did that? I thought that was a joke. I thought, I saw, I saw, I saw, I saw the message come across, you know, but what happens with me is, on my devices, you know, I'll be there playing the games with the, you know, it's like a, I don't know, some sort of word game, but there's like little animals, and there's like, you have to do, it's a fun game. They say it tests your mind. It brings elasticity to your brain, and so I was sitting there playing, and bloop, there goes a message, right? And it said, uh, uh, uh, schedule group, uh, group therapy bumper podcast. And I, and I said, oh, well, now this is interesting. And I went to click on it, and it had already disappeared. And what happens, I clicked an, an, an advertisement, and, uh, I guess the game, uh, is, you've got these little ads, so you don't got to pay for it necessarily. And, and then all of a sudden, I'm in this space game, and it's like, you got to save the, the princess, the planet, the princess of planets or something, planets of princesses. And I said, oh, my word, you know, and I got into it, because I, I, you know, you throw me into a situation like that, and I'm going to step up, because that's what I do. And, and I, you know, I said, all right, let's go. And then, uh, honestly, uh, it was an ad that you couldn't even, I felt like I was playing, but I, nothing, I wasn't controlling nothing. But what I did was I went in, I played the game, I gave them my credit card information, and, uh, they, they took it very willingly, I'll say. And, uh, now the game has turned into, uh, me, uh, working with my bank and trying to, to, well, they took, they took everything, the, the, the, the princess planets. They took all my, all my money. And, uh. Rufus? What were we talking about? Okay, Rufus, okay. We're going to, we're going to put a pin in that, because we're going to, we have, obviously got to come back to, um, hmm, you giving out your credit card information and now losing all of the, your money. Um, oh, pig, I thought we were supposed to, like, cut him off from the, um, the outside stuff. I thought it was just, you know, the games are fine, but as long as they just are on the phone and they're not, you know, whatever, going around into the world, you're not, you're not, like, talking to anybody on these games, are you? Well, I mean, it's not so much as a, as a, as a talk. Uh, I'm happy to say I didn't cross that line. But what it is, is they make you a, a, a, an avatar. You know, I, you see you sit there and you can design it. And I put, uh, look at me. I'm like a, a, a kitten is what my, I made it. It's orange, got some stripes, you know. I put some fun of glasses on them, fun of hat. And, uh, I named them. Now, hold on. It's Kool Cat, but with all, with all, it's K-U-L-K-A-T. Yeah, Kool, Kool. It looks like it says Kull Cat, but, uh, the regular Kool Cat was taken, and Kool Cat, uh, all the way up to 49 was taken. Kool Cat 1, Kool Cat 2, all the way. And so I said, all right, let's, let's mix this up a little bit. And so what I did was, uh, K-O-O-L Cat, uh, and that was also taken way up into the numbers. And I said, all right, let's kind of mix this up a little bit. And then I figured out, uh, U can sound, if you do it right, if you look at it, you know, kind of to the side, that U, it's going to sound like the, the, uh, ooh, right? So Kool, Kool Cat was my name. Okay, stop, stop. So I think we've, we've, again, we've lost the thread here a little bit. So are you speaking to, are the people, are you talking to people online? Is, is this something where you're communicating with your, uh, Kool Cat? Well, no, so I didn't, I did not, uh, pay for this, this part of it. So I, I did not speak necessarily because you gotta, you know, I gotta, I think you gotta be a level 1700 or whatever it is to unlock the microphone, you know? And that's when I think the communication really starts. But what they allow you to do early on in the game so that you can build a communication, is you take your avatar, again, I'm Kool Cat, and you can type in and you can say like, well, okay, you actually can't even type in at the, at the state, I'm looking forward. Now, what I can do is I can just choose little, little word like bubbles, you understand? And so I can click it and it goes like, yee-haw, right? Yee-haw, like that. And, uh, and you can do one and it just goes, wah-wah. Like a sad thing, right? So right now I'm at, I'm at kind of the base of communication. Yeah. But that's why I know that this is real. Well, so I don't, okay. There's a lot to unpack here. Um, so you are communicating, but it's just through, uh, basic phrases. How many, how many phrases do you have unlocked? Do you unlock more phrases as you go? Yeah, yeah. The higher the level

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty tries to explain where he has been and what he has been doing, and why he hasn’t been recording – and no one is having any of his malarky! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast after months away, only to face harsh criticism from Aloysious J. Pig about the show's inconsistent recording schedule. In this comeback episode, Natty explains what he's been up to since losing his job, including an anxiety-fueled weekend spent creating an entire comedy festival from scratch. Producer emerges from layers of studio dust to share his concerns, while the trio gets sidetracked discussing laurels, plant care, and the ancient origins of common phrases. Despite the rocky reunion and dust-covered studio, the gang promises to return with more episodes soon—though Aloysious skeptically predicts it'll be another three months. Memorable Quotes “No one cares anymore okay it's been like a year or something since you've just been like oh i guess i'll record this episode and now i'm gonna wait six years or whatever it is you're doing” — Aloysious J. Pig “I think that it's one of those things that normally people which you're supposed to do is like hide under the covers and be sad and i instead i did all this research bought the domain name and all the socials and trademarked the name” — Natty Bumpercar “If we're gonna do the podcast i'd love to do the podcast if you're just gonna come on once a month and say the same everybody wants to know where you've been i don't know i might have other things to do with my life” — Aloysious J. Pig Topics: #comedy #podcasting #unemployment #anxiety #comedyfestival #friendship #plantcare #etymology Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Robot Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: so i'm imagining and i'm guessing and i don't know that everyone has probably been wondering Aloysious J. Pig: where i am like what no no actually no natty i just want to jump in before you get all on your whole thing oh everybody wants to know where they've been everybody wants to know why you haven't been recording everybody wants they don't no one cares anymore okay it's been like a year or something since you've just been like oh i guess i'll record this episode and now i'm gonna wait six years or whatever it is you're doing yeah i don't know if anybody cares anymore if Natty Bumpercar: i'm to be honest okay well that's harsh but i do appreciate your um being forth right forthwith forth i don't i appreciate you being forth with me so now you're making little jokes because Aloysious J. Pig: you're uncomfortable or whatever i get it all right it's forthright you know this and i except somebody's got to tell it to you straight somebody's got to give it to you okay so you have a podcast you're doing well you got numbers you're growing and then all of a sudden what i don't know what happened to you but you're just yeah you'll yeah you just oh okay well Natty Bumpercar: there's a little bit of success i'm gonna run away from from that i don't think i did that but maybe i don't know is that something i subconsciously did oh that's definitely something i'm gonna bring up with my therapist right because maybe yeah okay i'll i'll take that because i know that every so often i'm doing great with the podcast and then i just there's a shiny object and i run over to it and and and maybe that's the case here i'm gonna Aloysious J. Pig: look really quick to see when the last yeah oh wow july july like 19th or something like that and then before that one it was like in june okay so it's you didn't do two in june good for you two in may but like it's just this is this is untenable so what i'm saying is if we're gonna do the podcast i'd love to do the podcast if you're just gonna come on once a month and say the same everybody wants to know where you've been i don't know i might have other things to do with my life i know you know i'm sure i don't even see rufus ain't here he's probably off fishing or whatever he does taking his summer break and and uh excuse me there's a lot of sawdust in here producer yeah produce are you awake i'm awake Producer: sorry i was there's been a lot of i thought it was construction dust but he's actually just because we don't come in here anymore so it's just layers and piles of dust you know we could do like one of those core samples like they do on trees and we can actually dig down into the dust and we could see like when it was i don't know raining or maybe it was an ice age or i don't know how it works or anything but anyway nappy i agree with uh the uh the with aloysius that um you know this is what i do i've just been sitting in this room i actually had a layer of dust over myself as well and i would appreciate let's just record some shots okay yeah i okay i'm yes i agree Natty Bumpercar: i'm sorry and i agree wait i agree with both of you and i'm sorry that i haven't been recording and i agree that i'm sorry i think that covers everything but here i'm just going to explain what i've been doing what's been going on okay because it's kind of important to me that i'm um i don't even know if i told you i lost my job yeah everybody knows okay you're basic i mean Aloysious J. Pig: yeah i guess you didn't put up uh uh like a sky writing but you you did you really put it out there oh woe is me woe is natty i lost my job and then you had you wrote something you was on some show and you got voted off kicked off i don't know what that was but yeah so we are all up to Natty Bumpercar: date on that okay well cool so that weekend that was on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a thursday that that happened then the friday saturday sunday for some reason i um had this just anxiety uh of stuff that was inside my brain and i i anxiety created uh a comedy festival which is not something that i think normal people do i don't understand that you do what do you you Producer: say you you you just you just oh like you say i made a festival it doesn't seem like you know just like anybody can like oh bing i just waited willie mammoth okay or did you what exactly i don't understand what you mean you did yeah did Aloysious J. Pig: you hear they actually are working on the willie mammoth okay i don't know if maybe the people doing that got laid off from their jobs and then they were all of a sudden they were like you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna i'm gonna make a big furry elephant thing or or or or what but uh yeah i said it's were you reading the news or something while we were gone there's a lot of news about this willie mammoth thing going i don't know if i agree with it but uh i don't know if i disagree with it i probably disagree with it but who knows okay i i have opinions i just don't Natty Bumpercar: have this opinion evidently yeah i don't i don't yeah i don't know if i have opinion i do have opinions on this but i don't i haven't fully formulated what they would sound like so i'm gonna stick to so what what happened producer is i think that it's one of those things that it was and then the second the opportunity came the like all of the stress and the anxiety of being laid off normally i think people which you're supposed to do is like hide under the covers and and be sad and i instead um i i i did all this research does this thing exist didn't find anything so i bought the uh domain name and all the socials and uh then i went and i trademarked the name all this stuff boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom right and it was all in this weekend all this stuff just kind of flowed out of me and i think monday or tuesday i talked to my sweet and sour uh comedy producing partner suzanne and i was like hey hey hey hey because then that's when i did start crying and i was like guy think i want to do i want to do this festival and she was like what and i was just like festival where you can do it it's a montclair comedy festival you know i we did mont we did comedy in montclair for a million years so many shows and uh and we just produced this jaws the musical that was in the the fringe festival like that's a big thing that we did so let's not we i don't want to rest on uh Aloysious J. Pig: on my on my laurels what what exactly is uh the or laurels does that does that is that something you got from like a swedish design Producer: store or is that some condition that you have or i think that a laurel might be like a type of a shrub or a type of a bush i don't know um did we get some some laurels planted and if so how did we afford them i think you know you don't have a job and laurels are pretty expensive not only to to put to get but then to put in the ground and then their upkeep and and everything and uh and then you know it's same why you're going to go in the store and you're going to go in the store and sit on them okay because like i said they're pretty expensive and then what i know about plants isn't a lot but i do know that plants do not like to be you know just like sat upon and they do not appreciate it yeah and they will they will wilt is what will happen to them Natty Bumpercar: so okay yes those are you're actually right skip laurels uh and we do not have any we did look at some a few times uh because we do like to buy plants uh bring them home plant them do all the stuff you're supposed to do for them and watch as they just uh die for no reason uh we've actually we've had people come to our yard and look at our at our yard and and and scratch their chins and shake their heads and and ask questions did you did you did you water it yes did you dig the hole twice as big as the root ball yes i did now a long time ago one of the mistakes that we made whe

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty decides to tell a story that he is very excited about. Then there are bulls. Then horses. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar recounts the awkward experience of telling a story that completely kills the vibe at a social gathering. The conversation spirals into an absurd discussion about bulls in china shops, with Aloysious J. Pig dissecting the various hazards of carpeted versus hardwood floors. Rufus T. Rufus shares his retail experience involving an actual horse wandering into a store, while Doodle Poodle relates his own pond-side storytelling disaster where all the other frogs literally slid into the water from boredom. The episode showcases the show's signature improvisational comedy as the characters get hilariously sidetracked before Natty can finish his original story. Memorable Quotes “You look around you go oh no did i do this did i make did i ruin did i end the whole restaurant for right now is that what i've done socially?” — Natty Bumpercar “Sometimes frogs when they're very uncomfortable what they'll do is they just kind of tilt the lily pad so they'll just kind of slide into the water and everyone had just disappeared.” — Doodle Poodle “All of a sudden you got an equine specimen coming into the shop and you're like whoa what is that? That's not fair it's not right it's not for you to judge bumper car.” — Aloysious J. Pig Topics: #storytelling #socialawkwardness #retailwork #bullsinchinashops #friendship #frogs #improvisation Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Producer Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: no no because to me that was no without that was the craziest part of the story was nobody believed it like i was i was several minutes into the story and i and i kind of looked around and i could see that not a single person who was looking at me was like nodding their head like oh yeah we're here with you like we get it like trying to you know pipe in or anything that none of them and i i said i was just like but do you you guys do you know what i'm right talking about well right nothing no and silence yep which is just a very uncomfortable situation to be in well it's Aloysious J. Pig: also it feels like a lot of what happens here on the on the bumper podcast where you come in you know a bull in a china shop and you're just you're burst in the doors which also they're made a glass not china but it's one of those glasses that these uh it doesn't shatter it's shatterproof glass right then you come in but then the the shelves are all around and that you know the shelves are also glass really it in the china shop it's not one of these things where it's just a china that you're worried about right it's the china obviously if you're trying to shop it's the biggest thing that you're going to worry about getting broken but you know you got your displays you got your doors whatnot uh there's just a lot of investment like what is it a carpet floor uh you know you're gonna be like a bull and on a carpeted floor that's gonna get destroyed is it a wood floor again scuffed up probably have some real just you know just issues i try to think like just just Rufus T. Rufus: just something dragged across a wooden floor so you can't it's destroyed yeah well i don't wish i actually hello everybody this is me rufus tear rufus i worked in uh nobody knows this i don't think but i did work retail coming up through law school i actually worked in uh now it wasn't a china shop particularly but we did sell some some some some some pieces but the wood floor now what we had there is you could have issues where uh if you the displays if somebody if you didn't uh move them around properly uh they would gouge i think is the word you're looking for they would gouge the wood floors put real just uh just not even a scrape but this actual like you you know you're gonna have to Natty Bumpercar: refinish it to fix that and i remember one time i was rufus rufus i'm sorry um okay well all right well yeah so thank you um i don't think i i don't know why we're fixating on the the china shop part here or working retail what i was i was talking to like you group of people and everyone's talking and everyone's having fun and then you jump in with a story and you're like this is it this story this is really it's moving the conversation forward it ties into everything that we're talking about it makes sense that i would bring it up uh and then you know a little bit into the story you realize that the room has become silent like not even like if you're at a restaurant it's not even just your table that's become silent there are the the workers are standing around just looking not even at you because they're too uncomfortable to look at you other tables you know maybe they were about to pay their checks they've they've just sat back down put their hands on top of each other on the table and they're kind of looking at their hands uh just just nerves uh and you you look around you go oh no did i do this did i make did i did i did i make wow did i did i ruin did i end the whole restaurant for right now is that what i've done socially am i that socially awkward that i have managed to shut down an entire uh business so i uh so not Doodle Poodle: i know exactly what you're talking about because it has situation that's happened to me more than one time where i was you know i was i was i was i was in the lily pads we started the the pond was the lily pad and you know sometimes after we have the dinner of like we eat some flies and some you know like little little that's really what we eat is the bugs it's delicious if you cook them properly which is to say you don't cook them at all because once you cook them they don't they don't taste good but i'm a frog so everyone needs to understand that my palate might be a little bit different than your palate but anyway after we eat we you know like to say and look at the moon and maybe there's a dragonfly like just kind of buzzing by and you know and one time i remember that i was telling a story and you know nighttime on the pond can be a pretty loud place there's a lot of good stuff going on where you go you know the rear bit the rear bit whatever and then there's over here you have the little skeezes little noises every there's noise a lot of noises around the pond they're beautiful calming noises but you know they're it can be a bit cacophonous in the in the nicest way and i i was telling a story and then i looked around because i noticed it was getting very quiet and sometimes frogs when they're very uncomfortable what they'll do is they're just like they don't even jump off the lily pad they just kind of tilt the lily pad so they'll just kind of slide into the water and i was that is yeah everyone had just disappeared just me there no dragonflies no the moon was even behind the clouds because i guess my story was was that i don't know if it was boring or if it was just kept going on and on or if it was no one was interested or i don't really know what happened but it was and i didn't feel so good so i know kind of what there's no china shop there's no glass none of this stuff the uh but we don't really do that in the pond but just a lot of uh nobody around type of thing and i was like oh my Aloysious J. Pig: yeah i can kind of see just from listening to your story uh listen it was a fine story it's a great story you know uh but then at a point it seemed like you kind of um just lost the thread a little bit you know you kind of started it's almost like you got sleepy it's like you're telling a story and you know it's a there's a restaurant and you have flies you're eating and lily pads and dragonflies and the moon like you know nice stuff really painting a picture of the moon and then you picture for me and then kind of towards the end when you start talking about the people who kind of just uh sliding into the water uh yeah i was looking around trying to find myself a little bit of water to slide into myself and that's you know no nothing on you you did a great job but you just kind of yeah you just ran out of steam like if you were a train if you were a steam engine you you just you just stopped going and that's okay you know that that's station it was right over there the people can get out and they can walk or we can send over a horse and buggy whatever it is to you know get the luggage and so you were close you're very close Rufus T. Rufus: now when i was talking about i was working retail uh in the the the bull we're back to the bull now the bull in the china shop uh now that recollection came to me when you just mentioned a horse and a because there's one time in the shop that we had left the doors open for ventilation because it was a little bit stuffy inside and well uh uh lo and behold uh a horse just wandered right into the store right and you understand horses are much uh more calm than and then and then them bulls you know that isn't to say that horses can't get excited and whatever they're back on their haunches and they're being all big whore whatever but just in general the horse was fine walking around the different displays uh if his feet were clean so the carpet was not an issue and then when it got over to uh the uh the hardwood floor now you know it did get a little bit scuffed up no gouges but uh you know i think if i if i had to expound upon the the the the saying i'd say something wrong lines or you know you're like a bull don't be like a bull in a china shop uh be more like a horse who just happened to walk in because uh uh the people had work in there had opened the door to to let it just air out a little bit i guess that's too wordy i mean i'm

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty decides that everyone should start being nice to each other which leads to some heartfelt apologies. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode In episode 456 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and the gang attempt something unusual: being nice to each other. After a listener points out they can't remember an episode where the characters were actually nice, Natty decides it's time to change things up. The episode features Natty, Rufus T. Rufus, and Producer navigating the awkward territory of polite conversation and apologies. Rufus explains his theory about the dangerous "sorry slope" and why he refuses to apologize for anything, while the crew attempts to make amends for how they treated Producer and the new microphone in the previous episode. This hilarious and surprisingly heartfelt episode explores the comedy of forced niceness and why saying sorry can be so difficult for some puppets. Memorable Quotes “That's what I call the sorry slope. The second you put your foot on the sorry slope you could get stuck, you could get pulled all the way down.” — Rufus T. Rufus “When you hang out with people all the time you don't ask them how they're doing because you just see them all the time and so you know.” — Natty Bumpercar “It's okay to say you're sorry. It doesn't make you less of a person, it actually makes you more of a person.” — Natty Bumpercar Topics: #friendship #apologies #communication #conflictresolution #awkwardsocialsituations #niceness #microphone Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: so today i think we're going to be nice which is different for us because sometimes we're not as nice as we should be and somebody pointed out to me that they don't even remember an episode where we were actually nice to each other and i i take that as a problem you know something to fix so hey guys how's it going no that didn't feel right hey no okay hey pig what what like that Rufus T. Rufus: sup hey sup with you uh yeah i think it's fine it'll be easy to be nice to each other right the uh the weather is uh dreary outside it's cloudy it's kind of gray uh the ground seems to be marshy uh so that's fun really gets everyone's attention and uh so i think it's fine i think it's fine i think it's fine i think it's in the spirit uh and uh the kids are about to be home from school for the rest of the summer so that's gonna be very pleasant very happy times everybody's thrilled with that uh yeah oh boy so uh i guess i'll ask the question uh natty how are you doing i mean it just sounds so weird when we Natty Bumpercar: i don't know when we say when we say hi to each other or we like it sounds what is it disingenuous is the word i'm looking for uh which is strange because we hang out all the time but i guess we don't normally just ask i guess when you hang out with people all the time you don't ask them how they're doing because you just you see them all the time and so you know in one way it could be annoying where if i see you several times a day and i'm like how are you doing they're like back off still doing the same but you're actually making me kind of agitated so in that instance you're trying to be nice by asking someone how they're doing and i'm like how are you doing how they're doing but i guess they're just being asked too much is that what it is it's like a there's must there's some social contractor oh okay yeah all right hello rufus yeah hey there Rufus T. Rufus: now i heard you talking about a social contract and as you know i'm the one around here who loves to to facilitate to uh possibilitate to uh recreate and to uh designate and never deviate from uh the contracts from the from the the letters of the law from the structure of the pen to the paper you understand there's indentations there's bullet points there's the little things that are inside bullet points like hollow bullet points and then sometimes i've seen it where people go bullet point indent hollow bullet point in dent you go back to a bullet point what world is that even i'm gonna get confused i gotta get my glasses on okay so uh i heard everybody talking how is everybody doing it don't feel right it just feels strange for some reason yeah no i i get it um we gotta Natty Bumpercar: figure that out um you know one thing we could talk about the last episode that we had which i i am so sorry it was a little while ago but if i even bother to tell you how much life has been to me lately um i you would never you would never listen again because you would be too busy being sad um but that's okay because we we we pick ourselves up and we throw ourselves back down the hill once again um it's a grassy hill don't worry so it was hay at the bottom of it so it's okay you just roll and then you're in the hay it's fine uh but the last episode i think that we had um there was a new microphone oh yeah i remember the new microphone right yeah yes and he it i don't remember uh she they they we'll go with they had a lot of problems uh or they caused a lot of problems um i don't remember you know now that i mentioned i don't even remember what it was but i do know that there was a new microphone and that there were issues which is shocking for this show everything normally goes so smoothly and uh goes off without a hitch so you know uh where Producer: is the new microphone why we're back to the old old stuff yeah so we you know we were really having a problem in the last episode and you know everybody seemed to be having a difficult time and so i was just like Rufus T. Rufus: hold on i don't even know i apologize i was i didn't keep up with that last part i don't speak frog as fluently as i probably should but it sounded like you said uh or something like that if i got that wrong or right i don't know but i definitely don't even understand what it means or could mean the potential of what it could mean yeah uh producer you i huh we're trying to be nice to everybody in this episode so i'm just gonna stick with that and what what what what did you Producer: just say well first off i just want to say that i'm all in and behind the um uh the the idea to make this show nice you know when we first started everybody was friends we're all new to each other and we're you know kind of seeing like okay maybe this person can be my friend and then over the years of you know living together and not getting paid and just kind of being around each other all the time and then we went through the the whole thing that we couldn't leave the house for a long time you know it it became very very closed in and yeah you know we maybe don't uh we're not as nice to each other as we as we as we used to to to be um now that's what i was saying about the microphone it was causing a lot of trouble and uh so it's currently in our av closet which is our audio and video closet it's actually a v e audio video equipment so i put it in the description box and i'm going to put it in the description box right now and you know it just i'm trying to test some things out make sure everything is working properly and then you know maybe we'll bring it back in i don't know yeah no that thank Natty Bumpercar: you producer for uh for doing that as i remember and i don't want to bring up any bad memories but that last episode uh you were really getting it i i don't know who it was from i don't know where it was from but people were seeing this is our episode we're going to be nice not just to each other but we're going to figure out ways that we can be nice to other people which is a crazy concept i know um but i i think i'm going to apologize because i don't remember if i was uh part and parcel part of being mean to you in the last episode and if i was then i uh apologize and i'm gonna see if uh if aloesius if you want uh rufus maybe you guys want to say Rufus T. Rufus: something to producer yeah sure i also don't really remember the last episode i do remember something about him microphone because it was in the spot where i usually you know put my uh my my cup of water this microphone is hanging from the ceiling that microphone was on the table and so i remember getting very parched and sometimes when i get parched i i lash out a little bit and um you know producer you have a hard job thankless job and i i want to say that i'm also very sorry that uh if and that natty was mean to you in the last episode because you don't deserve that you do a lot of hard work around here right why did you just put Natty Bumpercar: it back on me like i already did my apology and then you did this big build-up and gave a reason for why you might have been feisty and then you didn't say sorry you just said sorry that i was Rufus T. Rufus: mean but uh what about you rufus well now in my line of business it's uh it's something it's we don't ever uh start apologizing for nothing because once you say you're sorry now that means you're taking responsibility for something bad that might have happened and you know once you take responsibility the next logical step there is that uh somebody might take advantage of your uh uh having responsibility uh uh having responsibility and the vulnerability that you have then opened up to have to rectify the situation that you were quote end quote sorry about so i will refrain from uh saying those those actual words let me think here but i uh i do feel bad producer at the last episode with the microphone uh again i agree with uh how mean how rude how just unnecessary uh and that it was was to you so i not you know what i will stand up for your rights okay right yeah and maybe he's gonna say he's sorry but i don't know i don't know if he's gonna well i already did i was the first Natty Bumpercar: one and i actually did say

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, we get a new microphone! But then everything goes off the rails. It’s totes banoo!! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar introduces a new microphone that immediately proves to be too intense for the laid-back show. The sophisticated equipment makes recurring character Rufus T. Rufus so uncomfortable that he leaves the studio, only to start calling Producer during the recording because he's hungry and can't remember the code to the refrigerator. Meanwhile, Producer keeps taking phone calls mid-episode, creating complete pandemonium in the studio. What starts as an exciting equipment upgrade quickly devolves into accusations, complaints, and the entire cast turning on the new microphone for causing all the trouble. The episode showcases the show's signature improvised chaos and self-aware humor about its own production mishaps. Memorable Quotes “I just touched my shirt and I heard it in my ears. This thing is you're a little too intense microphone. I like you very very much but I worry that you're not going to fit in around here because we're not a very intense podcast.” — Natty Bumpercar “The main problem is that I became I got a little bit of low blood sugar and I got very hungry. And so I was calling you because I didn't remember the code to the refrigerator and you didn't answer.” — Rufus T. Rufus “This has never happened before. This microphone came in. He's brand new and obviously he's causing a lot of trouble. So microphone, why don't you just hit the road?” — Aloysious J. Pig Topics: #newequipment #podcasting #workplacechaos #hunger #technologyproblems #behindthescenes #improvisation Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: okay so we have a new microphone and it is testing my patience as far as where i have to sit and where it needs to sit and how i look at it and how it looks at me and i think i just touched my shirt and i heard it in my ears this thing is it's you're a little too intense microphone i like you very very much but i just i worry that you're not going to fit in around here because we're not a very intense podcast we don't we're not you know exact and we don't really know what we're doing and you know if you take us to a level that's too far up it's just gonna cause issues with everybody bad issues scary issues uh probably some fights people you know talking behind other people's backs terrible stuff like that no i'm not interested i'm not even interested Aloysious J. Pig: a little bit hey uh maddie uh sorry i didn't mean to interrupt it now you're having a little conversation over here with a new microphone uh so i don't want to you know tell tales at a school i don't want to talk about Natty Bumpercar: people behind well back no yeah no i think that's what i was just telling the microphone here is that we don't want to do that that's not something that we normally do yeah like well uh hold on a Aloysious J. Pig: second natic now you're saying we don't save that's me of course hello everyone that's me rufus t rufus the the the the lawyer around here and are you saying that we don't talk behind people's backs because we have to say the stuff Natty Bumpercar: to their face no well no wait no well no we try to be nice to people just in in front of their face and and behind their face and to the side of their face and any you know if you have a face then we're gonna try to kind of 360 upside down all the way around just be nice to people in general but um what i was saying was rufus i don't have you met have you Aloysious J. Pig: met the new mic no i don't believe i made your acquaintance uh i'm saying hello to the little okay oh yeah i can do that hello there uh microphone how do you do not much for conversation i see you'd rather be talked at and i don't got any questions uh bathrooms around the corner you know no i can't talk to this thing now it don't make no sense i don't mean you're just looking at me funny here i don't you mean you seem nice microphone but uh you know i got i got i got lawyer stuff i'm gonna just uh skidoo back over here and you you do your microphone thing make me uncomfortable where you're looking stop looking at me like that please now microphone um i'm just gonna say it you've already proved your worth because normally rufus stays in the podcast studio for the entire podcast and now you all of a sudden you come in and you get you made him uncomfortable and got him to leave i've never seen anything or anyone in his situation uh be able to make that guy uncomfortable so uh uh you get a you get a gold star uh first day knocking it out of the park i gotta tell you yeah i agree um it was weird he Natty Bumpercar: was like did you see his eyes were like kind of darting around he looked like a little bit Aloysious J. Pig: i don't want to say he was a little bit banu but hey hey hey you know you can't say banu all right because now that's twice if it's said another time then we're gonna get into the totes and then you know that issues for years we've had big issues so please oh please oh please Producer: stop it right where we are yeah i tend to agree with aloysius you know we don't we we always try to steer away from all of that stuff because it causes a lot of drama and i know the beginning matter you were saying you don't talk behind people's backs we don't talk in front of you Aloysious J. Pig: know the whole thing you were saying but just what is what is happening producer you have you i mean like you have one job is well i mean you have a lot of i know but you don't take a phone call when we're doing a podcast that's why would you why would you put it on mute put it on vibrate yeah put it in your locker Natty Bumpercar: like nobody should have their phone yeah i yeah sorry that producer i'm that's the first i said i think that might be the first time that's ever happened that was really loud and and not not Producer: awesome so i'm hold on netty i just wanted to say that the phone call was actually from a very Aloysious J. Pig: important person in your life so what are we are we doing like riddles now is that the game we're playing you know are you just gonna tell them all right what are we doing yeah i would i mean like Natty Bumpercar: yeah sorry i who who who who was it it was very important my life who who just called you instead of i guess calling calling me or did they maybe they did call but i don't have my phone i don't Producer: know yeah so they did actually call you and uh you yes you doing the voicemail and so there is a bit of a you know so they did call me because it was a bit of a you know a little bit of a you know a you know he's kind of like a bit of a um bit of an emergency and so um yeah yeah what is this guy Aloysious J. Pig: doing okay so it's you don't you're not telling us who called and now you're saying it's an emergency and then you're trail off uh love you to death producer you're wonderful you're great uh get to the point who was it that called natty with an emergency yeah thanks aloysius like what Natty Bumpercar: are we doing do you want do we need to stop the podcast and can you tell me or do i need to be worried like what is happening right now Producer: well no i'm sorry but you guys geek cutting me off and i give you you know i get a little bit nervous and that's why i don't i don't talk a lot in the microphone because you know there's a podcast and i'm the i'm the yeah go go go yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yeah so okay we know Natty Bumpercar: you're a producer you're behind the microphone and so somebody called me and they said it was an emergency and can we just please do we if we can you just tell me yeah or hold on a second i Producer: actually funny story they just called me back but i had turned the the ringer off and i had muted my microphone and so you didn't hear the whole thing but the thing is the um the emergency uh is now passed and it was just a small thing that maybe you know it didn't end up being anything at all and so it's not a big deal and and so you don't even have to worry about it you guys just continue on go on with your big podcast you're doing it such a good job always so proud of you uh new microphone looking at you i'm looking at you over there okay i got a little work to do you and me right but we'll figure it out and we'll figure it out and we'll Aloysious J. Pig: we're gonna get there we're all gonna get there okay cool great um so now that we're stuck in this and i guess is i hope this isn't the entire podcast i hope bumper car has some silly story to tell or something but i know i invested emotionally and i would also like to know what was the who sorry yes who was the person who called and what was the emergency that has now been settled and is no longer an emergency and now that we have all that information and that you Producer: can take a nice deep breath and just no so here's the thing i um who's i actually do a lot of indian food i love uh just you know the spicy it's good a lot of flavor i think he's he's on the phone producer yeah he's on the phone right now knock on the window yeah we're not gonna win producer later in the day you know producer yeah we can hear you sorry sorry sorry shut it off Natty Bumpercar: cut it off um i i'm gonna take a deep breath it's all okay we just might have to throw this episode away but that's okay you know we we were excited we had a new microphone and now producer is receiving phone calls and then talking to people in the in the booth you and we still don't even know who it was you or if that was the same person or what the emergency was or anything yeah uh natty i Aloysious J. Pig: apologize uh i was

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty is excited to talk about something, is interrupted by Pig, and then forgets what he was ever even excited about… You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode In this improvisational episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar starts with big plans to discuss something important but immediately gets derailed. Aloysious J. Pig questions whether Natty actually talks to real people or just performs at them. The conversation spirals through topics like putting out fires, screaming in theaters, and whether service workers are genuinely nice or just doing their jobs. Natty shares a detailed story about a challenging comedy show two hours away where he had to work hard to engage a disconnected crowd by jumping off stage and doing table-to-table bits. The episode showcases the show's signature rambling, self-aware humor as the characters forget what they were originally trying to discuss. Memorable Quotes “You understand that people in restaurants and stores, they're being paid to be nice to you. You understand that, right? They're just trying to be cordial, civil.” — Aloysious J. Pig “All I do in my life at this point is I run around and I put out fires. Oh there's a fire run, oh there's a fire run, and I never even get to check if the fires are actually out.” — Natty Bumpercar “I refuse this reality. I'm gonna take charge of this reality and I did and it worked out.” — Natty Bumpercar Topics: #stand-upcomedy #socialinteraction #improvisation #performanceanxiety #friendship #overthinking #crowdwork Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: so this is going to be one of those episodes where i've got i've got thoughts i've got ideas Aloysious J. Pig: and i've got thoughts okay so you mean it's going to be one of those episodes that people can should just go ahead and like skip that's what you're saying right off the bat just hey hey everybody warning here's just so you know an episode that you probably don't need to listen Natty Bumpercar: don't no no that's not what i'm saying at all no no no so here's the thing at night when i do i say here's the thing a lot i feel like i say here's the thing a lot hold on a second now i got to Aloysious J. Pig: think about that and now you're derailed you came in all hot and strong and you're like oh i got something to talk about and now you're like oh another shiny thing focus bumper car you're a Natty Bumpercar: minute in and there's the phone ringing and that's why i can't focus because there's never any time to focus on anything because i never get a chance it's like all i do in my life at this point is i run around and i put out fires i'm like oh there's a fire run oh there's a fire run oh there's a fire run and i never even get to check if the fires are actually out because i'm so busy running from fire to fire to fire you Aloysious J. Pig: better hope that this is not being do we play these ever at a at a movie theater any kind of theater because if you're doing your podcast and you're up here screaming fire fire fire people are gonna get you're gonna i think you're breaking some laws maybe i but you can't just start screaming fire fire fire that's that's that's highly illegal and if and i'm not listen i'm not saying that because i want anybody else to come to the podcast because i like it's just you and me today but i think you're probably bending maybe even breaking a couple Natty Bumpercar: of laws here yeah no i listen don't you worry about that we live in a post-law society would you stop stop this is supposed to be a silly funny Aloysious J. Pig: podcast don't if you if you jump down that hole that rabbit hole you're gonna be in all kinds of trouble dude i wouldn't do it i would just take a deep breath and now let's talk about whatever it was that you started off now two minutes ago wanting to talk about ah that was Natty Bumpercar: so long ago and now i feel like we've talked about i don't remember i was so excited i came in and i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so I'd been thinking about something that I wanted to talk about, and I thought it was even interesting, and then I was, I, I, I can't, why, why does this happen? Aloysious J. Pig: Is it because you don't do the podcast often enough, and so you're a little bit out of, out of, out of, out of sync? That's not what I want. Out of practice? That's what I want. Or maybe is it because the only time you actually have conversations around the podcast, because you don't talk to other people, and so you, maybe you just had too much ready to go, and then when you got distracted, it all fell apart? Natty Bumpercar: No, I talk to people all the time. Like, I'm always talking to people. I, I talk to people constantly, really, you know, if, if, if you look at talking, then. I'm probably, I'm doing, I'm talking. Aloysious J. Pig: You, you understand that it's, like, people in, in restaurants and, and stores, that, those aren't common, you're, you're, they're being paid to be nice to you. You understand that, right? They, they're, they're just trying to be, uh, cordial, civil, you know, uh. Natty Bumpercar: Civil, like, civil, civil shepherd? Aloysious J. Pig: I did, yeah, so now we're doing, like, references to television from 30 years ago? Natty Bumpercar: Oh, bumper car. Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Oh, bumper. Bumper car. What are you doing? Natty Bumpercar: Well, what about, okay, fine, I understand, and I accept, whatever, that those, those people are probably, maybe only being nice to me because it's, it's their job, uh, which, fine, whatever, you know, they don't have to do their job so well to me, right, to talk to me. They could just, uh, give me a smile and walk away, but I'll, fine, I will accept your, your logic, and I will say, what about? I had a show this weekend, and, and I, I talked to people there. Aloysious J. Pig: Now, you, so, when you're doing stand-up comedy, you're not talking to people, you're talking at people. You're on stage, right, which by, you're up high, you're far away, you're talking into a microphone, which is, you know, uh, it's, it's, it's, uh, I would say magnifying your voice? Is that what we're saying? Amplifying. We'll say amplifying your voice. And so it's, that's, that's also not a conversation, but it really highlights, I think, where your brain is, uh, a little bit, uh, wonk, wonka-doodle. Natty Bumpercar: Well, okay, so normally I totally agree with you, but this show, which I had to drive two hours to get to, it was so far away because of traffic and stuff. So I got there, and they had the tables set up, like, 20 feet from the stage where I was performing. and the also the stage was like high up like super high up like probably i'm gonna go five and a half feet five feet we'll say five feet up and there were spotlights but they were not on and they were not pointed at the stage even if they were on so it created this really weird environment and um so i was sitting in the back at the comics table which was table number 13 which is Aloysious J. Pig: not foreshadowing at all did i tell the crowd so listen everybody who's listening to this story first off i apologize second off uh if bumper car sounds weird it's because every so often Unknown: there's still music beds that are coming through that evidently somebody forgot to turn off and so Aloysious J. Pig: he was telling some story then all of a sudden it's like unksha unksha unksha which is why he sounded confused anyway back back to your story tell your story tell your story okay yeah those Natty Bumpercar: unksha unksha beats uh are always coming through so here's so so i uh i was back at the table and there was a woman who was running the show she like hired us i guess and she came back and the producer of the show said hi just so you know you're gonna be bringing um natty up he's the host for the for the show and i said hi natty and she's like what's your name natty bumper car that's a stupid name no she didn't say stupid that's a silly name uh is that really your name and i said ah who knows because that's usually what i say uh just to get out of that conversation and uh or i say probably uh and and she's like okay whatever listen uh in a few minutes uh i'll go up there i'm gonna say a little bit about the show and and then i'll introduce you and i was like perfect and so in my mind that meant okay i have time to i'm gonna i'm gonna go use the bathroom maybe i'm gonna stretch a little bit maybe do some jumping jack whatever i do i don't know think about what i'm gonna say and i i stood up to leave the room to find the bathroom and uh she was already on the stage and she was like okay everybody here's your host uh natty and i was i was two feet out of the door which meant i was all the way out of the door already and i went oh oh and and i had to turn and run all the way up to the stage because it was far away it was it was much farther than i thought it was and uh you know hopped up on stage and i was like oh my god i'm gonna go use the bathroom and i was just like haha what happened to a few minutes huh thanks oh here we go which was a weird way to start a show not how you want to start a show and uh i'm not blaming that but the crowd was you know like usually they have like a 30 second hey everybody thanks for coming out tonight thanks for coming to our show how about that food ha that's sponsored by this person and look at all these decorations great job these people like whatever it is and now let's get ready you guys and they're like yeah we're ready but this was instead this was just like hey show go and and and me running on stage and so the crowd was just like kind of there

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty and the crew try a song and realize why they haven’t been recording as much Tune in for laughs, lessons, and lots of laughs as they navigate the paperwork jungle! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode Natty Bumpercar reunites with Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, and Producer after a long hiatus from recording the Bumperpodcast. The gang struggles with technical issues including microphone popping sounds and missing equipment, leading to humorous discussions about "paschetti" pronunciation and cooking oils. Aloysius attempts an impromptu rap song that goes hilariously wrong, prompting the crew to question whether they still have chemistry together. The episode devolves into playful arguments about offensive language, workplace safety, and whether they're like "oil and water" as a team. Despite the chaos and rust from their time away, the characters' signature banter and absurd humor shine through. Memorable Quotes “Everything's good. Everything's fine. We made a terrible song. And that's gonna happen. We haven't made a song in a long time, and the one we just did was terrible.” — Aloysious J. Pig “I'm starting to wonder if this is why we hadn't recorded a bumper podcast in a long time. Maybe we just don't gel anymore. Maybe we're like oil and water.” — Rufus T. Rufus “Is there such a thing as soy oil? Can we start soil? What'd you cook your food in? I cooked it in soil! Million dollar plan!” — Aloysious J. Pig Topics: #podcasting #music #friendship #comedy #cooking #workplacehumor #improvisation Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer Full Transcript Natty Bumpercar: so i have an idea i have several ideas but only one idea that really pertains to you guys at this moment and so what i've been doing is listen i've been listening to so many podcasts like upwards of four five podcasts and um not all the way through i have to say that just partially um because who has the time honestly uh i would understand it if you if you are about to turn this one off you ever no one has time no one has time to listen to things to bibble babble to jibber jabber no so i i had i had an idea and my idea was um i just before you say your idea Aloysious J. Pig: uh i just wanted you to know that the uh listening numbers have come in and uh it won't Don't be an issue because it looks like everybody gave up on this podcast because you stopped making it. So it kind of makes a little bit of sense. So right now you're just talking into the void. You're talking into the ether. You're talking into, I don't know, like somewhere where no one is. The, the, the, Mari, Marin, what is it? Marinara? I think it's Marinara. Mariana, right? Not Marin, yeah. No. Mariana Trench. Rufus T. Rufus: Is it, did we decide here? No, this is Rufus. T. Rufus. And did we actually decide on if it's Marinara Trench? Now, hold on a second. I believe the Marinara Trench is when you make a pot of spaghetti and you just family style, you put it down the middle of the table. Oh. Hold that paschetti. And then you come along. Natty Bumpercar: Rufus, are you saying paschetti? Because I, the first time I think you actually said spaghetti, which I appreciate. But then the second time you, you just went on with paschetti. Paschetti. Producer: Yeah. Right? Yes. Paschetti. But Natalie, it's me, producer, and ye, I heard it as well. I was going to, you know, I, I like to mark things on notepads so that at the end of the episode, if I'm, you know, if I have to go back in and, you know, edit anything or whatever, but I, I wrote in there this exact time stamp that these men said, a paschetti like that, you know? Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Okay. Thank you very much, producer. Wow. You, your accent got a little bit, what's happening today? This is, this is very strange. You got, you got, you got very, I would say Italian, but I don't really know. I don't, you know, accents are weird to me. Everything kind of sounds dissimilar. Oh. Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, you Sophie. Fancy. Yo, look at me. I'm Natty Bumpercar. I got so much wit. I got so much, uh, like whatever, but, uh, I gotta say, paschetti, Rufus, you sound like, you know, like you're a three-year-old or seven, uh, three-year-old or seven. Not, not four, not five, not six. You're either a three-year-old or you're seven. And, and that's who I understand is it's in their, their language. It's in what they say. They say paschetti, like that. Producer: I wanted to thank you, Aloysius, for, because everybody who is saying the paschetti, they're really going into the microphone and they're saying it very loud. So they're getting that, that, that, that noise, that pop noise that you get because we don't have a pop, uh, uh, uh, barrier anymore, like a pop screen. And so I do appreciate, uh, if everyone else could follow Aloysius. Aloysius. Aloysius, hey, sample, and then we, it'll make everybody happy because, you know, I agree that no one is probably listening at this point anymore, but if they were, uh, we just want to give them a high quality, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, product to, did I just do it? Yeah. Oh, man. Okay. This is very difficult. It's very difficult. Rufus T. Rufus: I was listening to my, my headphones here. Do you know we used to call headphones cans? Like that. We said, what? I can't hear you through the cans. That's when we were back on the radio long time ago, long, long time ago for you, uh, Piggy Lou before you even born. Now here's the thing. I think what we got to do until we get ourselves a, uh, a pop God is, uh, just avoid any words that might be, uh, associated or, uh, integrated or, uh, reverberated, uh, through the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. the microphone with the issues that are associated with not having a pop filter. Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. Yeah, that works for me. It's going to be very difficult because we don't have a script like some of these odd casts. I mean, that has a P at the beginning but I didn't want to say it. So now, that's all I'm thinking about now. Hold on. You're good. Unknown: Do you hear this? Pig, I think that there's some music happening. Do you think there's going to be a song? Producer: There could be. Drop the beat, pretty please. Oh. Okay. Aloysious J. Pig: Sounds like we're doing something. Let's go. Ready? I'm rolling. Riding. Sitting. Poseidon. Looking for Poseidon. Okay, that's rhymed. I'm chasing. You're hiding. I'm barely even trying. So clean off your face. You're in last place. The geese. The gaggle. The geese will never haggle. A wiggle. A waggle. Alright, I'm Rufus T. Rufus: jumping in here. I don't know if you're just like, out of practice. If you forgot how to do this. Or what the problem is right now. Can you cut that music? Can you cut it off, please? Producer: Producer, I'm talking to you. Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't know if you were like, doing part of this song. You know, like a spoken word kind of thing where you come in and you're like, Mr. Top Guy or whatever. You know, I noticed that you were not paying attention to the music or the beat or anything that was said before, so I was guessing that you weren't doing that, but… Yes, yes. Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's okay. Natty Bumpercar: Wow. I mean, you just cut it. It wasn't even like, we're gonna fade it out or anything. It was just like, and gone. Music just gone. It's fine. I'm sorry. It's fine. Producer: I just thought I was supposed to do it. The lawyer man here, Rufus D. Rufus, says, you got to get rid of the music. You're not doing a great job. I just pushed the button and it's gone. It's fine. It's just my job. It's just my life. It's just my dream. Aloysious J. Pig: But that's fine. That's fine. Listen, producer, it is okay. I don't want anybody to get worried. I don't want anybody to get worked up. Alright? Everything's good. Everything's fine. We made a terrible song. And that's gonna happen. We haven't made a song in a long time, and the one we just did was terrible. And that's, again, it's okay. We're gonna move on. Probably. Do we have anything else planned for this episode? Was that it? I don't know. Natty Bumpercar: No, we didn't even plan for that. Come on. It's okay. Everybody calm down. Rufus T. Rufus: Now, I'm starting to wonder if this is why we hadn't recorded a bumper podcast in a long time. Maybe we just don't gel anymore. Maybe we're like oil and water. There's several. Now, you can be the water, and then we can be different kinds of oil. Myself, I think I'm gonna be an avocado oil. Uh, Aloysius, what are you thinking over there? What are your thoughts? Aloysious J. Pig: Well, you know, it's a good point. Oil and water. Yeah, he is absolutely water over there. Uh, your avocado. I'm gonna, you know, I wanna stay away from seed oils, because as I understand, those are out of uh, out of vogue at the moment. Is there anything like a… I know they do milk, but is there like a an almond oil? Or a soil? Oh, soy oil? Soil! Let's start that business! Is there such a thing as soy oil? Can we start soil? What'd you cook your food in? I cooked it in soil! There we go! Ho-ho! Million dollar plan! Producer: Yeah, I don't really want to be, uh, oil, necessarily, but, here's a thing I could be, is, um, I could be uh, butter, maybe? You know, just, it tastes good, you can still cook in it, it doesn't have as high of a um, burned temperature, as the other ones, and especially the avocado oil, you know, you can really get that pan hot. Uh, soil, I don't, I'm not too overly familiar with, um… We? Yeah, we're gonna… Are we determining if that's a real thing, or… Yeah, I think Natty Bumpercar: we should get an intern for the podcast, because a lot of the shows that I was watching

Join Natty Bumpercar, Pig, Rufus, and Producer in this hilarious Bumperpodcast episode all about invoices! From chaotic billing to quirky misunderstandings, the gang tackles the world of invoices in their signature absurd style. Tune in for laughs, lessons, and lots of laughs as they navigate the paperwork jungle! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode In episode 452 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and his puppet friends attempt their first musical episode in ages with hilariously chaotic results. Producer kicks things off with a song about bees, but Aloysious J. Pig and the crew struggle to keep the rhythm. What starts as an improvised musical number quickly derails into a discussion about libraries, with Rufus T. Rufus sharing his love of reading and the stacks. The episode takes an unexpected turn when the gang discovers a shocking financial reality: none of them have been sending invoices or getting paid for their work on the show for the past 15-20 years. The revelation leads to comedic accusations and stammering explanations as everyone realizes they've been working for free. Memorable Quotes “if i could be a bee i don't really know let's see what kind of bee would i be would i be an a b or c or d or e what all these letters they all rhyme” — Aloysious J. Pig “gonna learn gonna learn gonna learn in a library gonna learn gonna learn i love to read books” — Rufus T. Rufus “you hear him stammering everybody's getting nervous you hear him stammering he doesn't even know what he's saying at this point yeah nobody stammers quite like a guilty man” — Aloysious J. Pig Topics: #music #improvisation #libraries #books #business #money #workplacecomedy #miscommunication Featuring: Producer, Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Robot Full Transcript Producer: if you could be a bee what kind of bee would you be if you could be a bee what kind of bee would Aloysious J. Pig: you be i guess if i could be a bee i don't really know let's see what kind of bee would i be would i be an a b or c or d or e what all these letters they all rhyme i could just be like e d g c e whatever t m doesn't rhyme though no okay hold on i'll get back okay yeah uh weird Natty Bumpercar: uh we haven't had music like a music bed a music background in so long and evidently we've forgotten how to do it because that we started off pretty rough off beat uh we went with producer i thought was a pretty brilliant because it was nice and simple um rhyme scheme um and and really i thought kind of a nice idea for a song and then leave me out of this okay i couldn't figure it out i was close yeah yes you and i know normally you you don't like feedback and you don't want to hear this no i don't i don't yeah you we oh that was not great i listen i how was i supposed to know that we were going to jump Aloysious J. Pig: right into a song we haven't had a song in in a long time and so you know you hear this the the podcast start it's got the squeak squeak squeak squeak and then all of a sudden boom bang we're in a song with producers starting yeah i don't know if that's ever happened producer never starts a show Producer: yeah i'm sure that at some point in the show that i've probably started it but i i can't recall i don't keep notes or anything but it's nice to have a song it's nice to have a beat so i can dance along and i can sing along let's go let's go let's all party down let's go let's go let's party Aloysious J. Pig: all around so you start you you listen i like that you're committed to the bit and you're like you're like we're gonna have music we're gonna i'm gonna sing a song and i hope that everybody just ignores uh how everything started that's great that's listen you're you are committed you are all in and i appreciate that and i appreciate you producer this is a fat beat i love to listen to this beat as i'm sitting on my seat no no you know it's Natty Bumpercar: i remember yeah i don't know that was i i don't i think we could probably you we don't have to sing i mean it's nice to have a music bed underneath this um i feel like it adds a little layer of texture and fun but um i don't think that it it forces us into a position where we actually you know have to have to have to sing yeah hey nutty it's me Aloysious J. Pig: rufus t rufus and i listen to that we ain't had music in a long time i guess the court paper the filings went through and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna sing a song and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna in the office and all the wheels that were greased and everything so that we can lift the embargo and put on a track or two of of of rapitude drum drum drums i got some drums i don't say no this is why i don't really usually take over here drum drum drum drum i i yeah again i tried it again and i and i failed again but that's okay that's okay we're learning we're learning we're learning yeah we're learning oh everybody's learning here we go over here and here we go over there okay to do what i don't learn to do what to learn in a book in a book i love libraries Natty Bumpercar: i'm listen everyone i think that rufus who never comes in and sings might have had the best singing part so far the gonna learn gonna learn gonna learn in a library gonna learn gonna learn i love to read books gonna learn but yeah yeah no that was that's a catchy one and i think it's it's very much needed at this point um that we lift up uh our our local public libraries and um you know tell people tell people what's up i love the library i like to just walk into a library and all the books they're called they're called the stacks because there's their shelves and they're back in the stacks okay i'm gonna go back in the stacks and and but you second you walk into a library it just has a feeling about it i i always think it just like it it's it feels like you're in a different world almost in a different time and and the smell of the books has always been so intoxicating to me and just wandering around and and looking at all the different titles and all the different sizes of the books and all the different colors of the book like the the spines and everything Aloysious J. Pig: is is is is wonderful yeah um did are we is this all just library stuff now because i i mean i can i can do that i uh went to a library once and they said that they they wanted a show and they hired me and uh they stuck me in a room with what i don't know it must have been two three hundred kids and uh i was like okay what do we what do we have a plan and they're like well we hired you you have the plan and i was like okay uh how long how long do i need to stay in here for and they they they said forever and then they shut the door kind of in a menacing way and uh the second the door shut all the kids their heads just turned slowly and locked on to me and then then and hold on a second don't say anything don't say anything all right good point good point good point yeah i i feel like the litigation on that whole situation is still uh pending it might you know still we're just awaiting a decision um did you ever get a uh uh paid for that for that event uh no i don't know hey uh i don't usually do the money stuff hey natty do you know if uh if i got any checks coming in anything you know a pig needs new shoes Natty Bumpercar: all right well first off you i've never seen you wear shoes um so that's important uh secondly no i don't see any checks do you know um did you send in like the invoice after the show did you email it or mail it or drop it off Aloysious J. Pig: or anything what do you what i don't know what's that uh what's that word in a voice like an inside like an inside voice what i don't know how does that how does that pertain let me take this and that is sir aloysius uh the invoice um now that's where you're going to uh line item uh put everything on it that your time you know you had to buy some uh crops maybe some water uh you know uh as the case and i can't get into it but you know higher security um because of uh people getting a little bit too uh interested in our business you know there's a few different uh but you put all that on the invoice give them a total and then they know what to pay you wait what is this why i've never been paid is this why i've never seen it in i thought that you you just had some sort of a savings account for me so that i could one day i don't know go to college uh get my own place or you know start my life with with a with a so never we've never never gotten paid Natty Bumpercar: anything no i this is a bad miscommunication i thought that you guys were handling a like rufus you usually handle the invoices so now hold on a second hold on a second before you start Aloysious J. Pig: shining the light on me i i i'd appreciate if you if you kept me in the dark if it's as it were now listen i invoice you uh constantly still haven't seen a lick of cash from that yeah but i don't i don't invoice for everything else for everybody else so Natty Bumpercar: yeah you definitely invoice me constantly i have a stack of papers that just seems to keep growing constantly like all the time all the time those papers they grow all the time um okay wow so if aloysius if you're not sending out invoices i haven't been sending out invoices for stuff either um has anyone gotten paid for anything well so what i do is i've been keeping a tally Producer: of all the hours that i've worked and then i went on the internet and i said um you know what is a reasonable amount of salary for for for my position and so i'm just kind of keeping track and i was hoping to settle up with you at some point you know when when we can maybe we sell the bumper podcast and we're just rolling in all the money wait so i guess you're playing like the really Aloysious J. Pig: long g