Five Year You

How to Stop SpiralingWe’ve all been there.You say something awkward…You replay a conversation over and over…You start imagining worst-case scenarios…And before you know it, your brain is running a full disaster movie.In this episode, we’re talking about what spiraling really is, why your brain does it, and how to stop it before it takes over your entire day. how-to-stop-spiralingIf you’ve ever found yourself stuck in anxiety loops, catastrophizing about small moments, or doubting yourself after an interaction, this episode will give you practical tools to break the cycle.In This EpisodeWe discuss:• What “spiraling” actually is and why it happens• How your nervous system searches for threats when you feel unsafe• The connection between triggers and anxiety loops• Why growth and personal development can make spiraling more likely• How spiraling can pull you back into old habits and behaviors• Practical ways to calm your nervous system when a spiral starts• Questions to ask yourself to separate fear from realityWhat Causes SpiralingSpiraling usually starts with a triggering moment.Something small happens—an awkward interaction, criticism, or uncertainty—and your brain begins trying to predict every possible threat.Your nervous system enters hyper-arousal, and suddenly you may experience:• Racing thoughts• Catastrophizing• Self-doubt• Emotional replays of past events• Fear of rejection or losing belongingYour brain isn’t broken.It’s trying to protect you.Signs You’re SpiralingYou might notice yourself:• Replaying conversations repeatedly• Assuming the worst-case scenario• Questioning your identity or decisions• Over-analyzing someone else’s reaction• Feeling tense or physically activated• Doubting your progress or growthSpiraling often happens when you’re trying something new or growing, because new behavior creates vulnerability.How to Stop a SpiralAndrew shares three immediate ways to interrupt a spiral.1. Interrupt the Loop PhysicallyChange your environment or body state.Try:• Standing up and moving rooms• Walking outside• Splashing cold water on your wrists• Cooling the back of your neckYour body needs to calm before your mind can.2. Slow Your BreathingSpiraling causes shallow breathing.Reset your nervous system with slower breaths.Try:• Box breathing• A deep inhale through the nose• A small “sip” inhale• A long, slow exhaleLonger exhales signal safety to your nervous system.3. Name the SpiralSimply say:“I’m spiraling right now.”Labeling the experience reduces emotional intensity and helps your brain step out of the loop.Separate Fear From FactsOnce your body is calmer, ask yourself:• What is actually happening?• What am I assuming?• What evidence do I have?• What story am I telling myself?Most spirals are built on assumptions, not facts.Anti-Spiral HabitsTo prevent spirals long-term:• Pause before reacting• Give your brain 7 seconds to process• Talk to a trusted person for a reality check• Journal your thoughts instead of replaying them• Protect your boundaries during personal growthRemember: every thought you have is not the truth.Key TakeawaySpiraling doesn’t mean you’re failing.It usually means you’re stretching into something new.Growth creates vulnerability.Vulnerability can trigger anxiety.But awareness helps you break the loop.You don’t need to eliminate spiraling completely.You just need tools to recognize it and move through it faster.Glimmers of the WeekAt the end of every episode, we share something bringing us joy.Cat’s Glimmer:Getting unexpected one-on-one time with her daughter during a week off from swimming.Andrew’s Glimmer:Going to a Winnipeg Jets game with his dad and son.Small moments of joy matter.Next EpisodeNext we’re talking about:The Boundaries That Protect Your GrowthBecause becoming your future self often requires protecting your energy and your progress.

Episode OverviewYou decided to grow.You set goals.You changed habits.You started becoming the next version of yourself.And then… the people around you got uncomfortable.In this episode, Andrew and Cat talk about what happens when the people closest to you don’t support your growth — and why this is one of the hardest (and most normal) parts of personal development.If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, judged, teased, or quietly pressured to “go back to who you were,” this episode will help you navigate that tension with clarity, compassion, and strength.Why Growth Disrupts RelationshipsGrowth doesn’t just change you — it changes your dynamics.Relationships are built on patterns. When you shift your behavior, identity, or boundaries, the pattern breaks. And breaking patterns requires adjustment from everyone involved.Common reasons people resist your growth:Your change highlights their stagnationThey fear losing the version of you they knewYour growth forces them to self-reflectThey feel left behindThe relationship feels less predictableIt’s rarely about malice.It’s usually about discomfort.What Happens Inside YouWhen others resist your growth, you may:Feel guiltyWant to shrink backOver-explain your decisionsProtect their feelings at your own expenseQuestion whether you’re doing the right thingYou might notice it physically:Tight chestKnot in your stomachLump in your throatUrge to justify yourselfThat awareness is growth.What NOT to Do❌ Don’t Over-ExplainYou don’t owe anyone a PowerPoint presentation on your life choices.❌ Don’t Argue or DebateYour growth doesn’t need to win a courtroom case.❌ Don’t Shrink to Make Others ComfortableDimming your light to keep peace eventually builds resentment.❌ Don’t Force Others to Join YouYou can’t drag someone onto a growth journey. You can only lead by example.What TO Do Instead✅ Stay ConsistentConsistency builds quiet confidence.✅ Let Your Actions SpeakEmbodiment is more powerful than announcements.✅ Expect DiscomfortGrowth without friction isn’t growth.✅ Use DiscernmentNot all pushback is insecurity. Some feedback is care expressed imperfectly.✅ Grieve What ChangesIf relationships shift, it’s okay to feel sad about it.Growth sometimes requires release.Feedback vs. ResistanceNot all resistance is negativity.Sometimes:Grandma is worried about your diet because she loves you.A friend questions your workload because they’re concerned.A parent warns you because protection is their love language.Discernment matters.Ask:Is this coming from care or insecurity?Is there truth here?Or is this about their discomfort?The Hard TruthYour growth may cost you:Old dynamicsCertain friendshipsPredictabilityApprovalBut it gives you:AlignmentSelf-respectEmotional maturitySpace for better relationshipsRejection can be protection.Reflection QuestionsWhere am I shrinking myself to keep the peace?Whose opinion do I fear most when I change?Am I seeking alignment or approval?What would staying fully grounded look like here?Key Reminder From This EpisodeYou don’t need everyone to understand you.You just need to understand yourself.Thrift Find of the WeekA thrift haul that unexpectedly exploded on Instagram — reminding Andrew and Cat that doing what makes you genuinely happy tends to resonate the most.Glimmers of the WeekGrowth in their thrift content account (because joy compounds).Signs of spring arriving in Chicago.The reminder that authenticity works better than trying to “crack the algorithm.”What’s Coming NextNext episode:How to Stop SpiralingBecause when people don’t support your growth, it’s easy to get in your head. We’ll talk about how to ground yourself and stop the mental spiral before it takes over.Connect With Five Year YouWebsite & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comDisclaimerThis podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice.

You started strong.You were motivated.You were clear on who you wanted to become.And then… it got uncomfortable.In this episode, Andrew and Cat walk through what actually happens after the excitement of change fades — when reality hits, resistance shows up, and consistency feels harder than you expected.This is the messy middle.If you’re building your Five Year You and feel like quitting, this episode will normalize the discomfort, explain what’s happening neurologically, and give you practical strategies to stay the course.Why Change Feels So HardWhen you try to change your habits, you’re not just changing behavior — you’re challenging your identity.Your nervous system prefers familiar patterns. Even if your old patterns weren’t ideal, they were predictable. And your brain is wired for safety, not growth.So when you:Wake up earlierSet new boundariesStart eating differentlyLaunch a businessSpeak up differentlyYour brain sounds the alarm.Discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.It means you’re doing something new.The 4 Types of DiscomfortEmotional DiscomfortGuilt, doubt, awkwardness, imposter syndrome.Social DiscomfortPeople reacting to your changes. Feeling misunderstood.Internal DiscomfortThe voice that says: “Who do you think you are?”Physical DiscomfortFatigue, soreness, brain fog while building new neural pathways.All of this is normal.Why Most People QuitConsistency doesn’t fall apart because you lack discipline.It usually happens when:The excitement fadesResults aren’t immediateOld habits start calling you backYou hit the “identity dip”The identity dip is the space between who you were and who you’re becoming.The beginning is exciting.The end is rewarding.The middle is messy.That messy middle is where growth actually happens.The Real Key to ConsistencyIt’s not intensity.It’s not perfection.It’s not even discipline.It’s emotional tolerance.Can you tolerate:Doubt?Delay?Frustration?Being misunderstood?Not seeing results yet?The people who stay consistent aren’t perfect — they just return faster.How to Stay the Course1. Drop the Perfection StandardAsk yourself:What would 5% consistency look like instead of 100% perfection?2. Increase Your Return SpeedMissing is normal.What matters is:How quickly you come backHow fast you re-anchor to your identityMiss one.Try not to miss two.Always return.3. Expect ResistanceAnticipate it.Prepare for it.When resistance shows up, you’ll recognize it instead of panicking.4. Anchor to Your WhyWrite it down.Revisit it daily.Visualize your Five Year You.The clearer the vision, the easier the consistency.5. Celebrate the “Boring Wins”Consistency feels unexciting because it’s repetitive.But your future self is built in quiet, repeated actions — not dramatic breakthroughs.Celebrate:The workout you didn’t skipThe boundary you heldThe sugar you didn’t eatThe sale you madeThe morning you showed upEvery swing at the rock matters.Powerful Reminders From This EpisodeDiscomfort doesn’t mean you’re off path.The middle is supposed to feel messy.Your identity is updating.Consistency is about staying the course.You are not behind.You are becoming.Thrift Find of the WeekA $3 Janessa Leoné hat valued around $500 — found in 10 minutes between swim practice and workouts. (Because dopamine doesn’t have to be expensive.)Glimmers of the WeekCat: Watching their daughter win first place at a swim meet after consistent effort.Andrew: Getting back into the studio and celebrating small progress (and barbecue motivation).What’s Coming NextNext episode:What to Do When Other People Don’t Support the New YouBecause change doesn’t just challenge you — it challenges the people around you.Connect With Five Year YouWebsite & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comDisclaimerThis podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice.

Most people think they need more discipline to build better habits — but in this episode, Andrew and Cat explain why habits actually work best when they’re aligned with identity, not willpower.This conversation breaks habits into five simple, powerful categories that support your nervous system, protect your energy, build self-trust, and reinforce who you’re becoming. Instead of overwhelming routines or perfection-driven checklists, this episode offers a framework for habits that feel sustainable, human, and realistic.If you’re building your Five Year You, this episode gives you the structure to do it without burnout or shame.the-5-habit-categories-that-ali…The 5 Habit Categories Explained1. Self-Trust HabitsThese habits rebuild your relationship with yourself.Keeping small promises you make to yourselfStarting when you say you’ll startChoosing habits you can keep even on hard daysLearning to become accountable to you, not just othersSelf-trust is the foundation of every other habit.2. Regulation HabitsThese habits stabilize your nervous system so habits can actually stick.Breathwork and pauses before reactingEmotional regulation during stress or frustrationCreating calm in a world designed to overwhelmReducing emotional reactivityYou can’t build your future self from a constantly dysregulated body.3. Identity-Confirming HabitsThese habits reinforce who you are becoming.Writers writeMovers moveHealthy people make health-aligned choicesEven tiny actions count. Every repetition sends your brain the message: This is who I am.4. Boundary HabitsThese habits protect your time, energy, and peace.Saying no without over-explainingReducing people-pleasing behaviorsLetting go of habits, relationships, or patterns that drain youLearning that what you tolerate teaches others how to treat youBoundaries are often the hardest habits — and the most transformative.5. Reflection HabitsThese habits turn experience into wisdom.Daily or weekly reflectionAsking why something felt hard or offNoticing patterns instead of judging themCourse-correcting with compassionReflection keeps you conscious instead of reactive.Key TakeawaysHabits are not about perfection — they’re about alignmentSmall habits compound faster than dramatic overhaulsRegulation comes before disciplineBoundaries often matter more than adding new habitsConsistency builds identity, not intensityReflection turns mistakes into growthQuotes from the Episode“You don’t need to overhaul your life — you need habits that gently introduce your future self into the present one.”“You can’t build a future self from a constantly overwhelmed nervous system.”“What you tolerate teaches others how to treat you — and teaches you who you are.”How to Get StartedChoose one habit categoryPick one tiny habitLet consistency beat intensityRebuild self-trust slowlyBegin again without shameGlimmers of the WeekCat: Walking more, thrifting wins, and seeing their son experience the joy of reselling his first item.Andrew: Finding rare thrift treasures — including Brioni and Hermès ties — and the thrill of small, unexpected wins.What’s Coming NextIn the next episode, Andrew and Cat talk about how to stay consistent when change feels uncomfortable — and why most people stop right before things start working.Connect with Five Year YouWebsite & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comDisclaimerThis podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice. Some links mentioned may be affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20, Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

In this episode, Andrew and Cat explore why habits aren’t really about discipline, motivation, or willpower — they’re about identity.Instead of white-knuckling routines or beating yourself up when habits don’t stick, this conversation reframes habits as small, daily votes for the person you’re becoming. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep falling off routines you want to maintain, this episode offers a gentler, more sustainable way forward.Rather than asking “Why can’t I stick to habits?”, Andrew and Cat invite you to ask a different question:“Who am I becoming?”the-daily-habits-that-align-you…What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhy habits fail when they’re rooted in pressure instead of identityHow identity change naturally creates behavior changeThe difference between motivation and momentumWhy “future you” should be a mentor — not a criticHow small, imperfect habits compound into real transformationWhy consistency matters more than intensityHow to stop labeling yourself as “lazy” or “undisciplined”Why habits should feel honest, not impressiveKey Concepts DiscussedHabits Follow IdentityYou don’t become someone after you do the habits — you become someone by doing them.Motivation Comes After ActionYou don’t wait to feel motivated. You act first, and motivation follows.Small Habits Build Self-TrustEvery tiny habit you keep is a vote for the future version of you.Future You Is Cheering — Not JudgingHabits stick when your future self feels like a guide, not a taskmaster.Aha Moments & Quotes“You can’t change behavior without changing identity.”“Every habit is a vote for the person you’re becoming.”“Your future self isn’t built on your best days — it’s built on your normal ones.”“Do the habits that feel honest, not the ones that feel impressive.”“Small habits don’t look powerful — until they are.”Practical TakeawaysStop trying to overhaul your life all at onceChoose habits you can repeat on your worst daysAsk: Would future me appreciate this?Focus on being someone who moves, not someone who “exercises perfectly”Let habits be snack-sized and sustainableWhen you miss a day, simply begin again — no shame requiredHomework for ListenersVisualize your Five Year YouName them if it helps (seriously!)Ask: What does this version of me do consistently?Choose one small habit that aligns with that identityPractice consistency — not perfectionGlimmers of the WeekCat:A cozy heated blanket on a cold Chicago day — comfort, warmth, and slowing down.Andrew:Seeing The Offspring live with his son — connection, nostalgia, and joy through shared experiences.What’s Coming NextIn the next episode, Andrew and Cat break down the five core habit categories that align with your future self — offering a clear framework for choosing habits that actually stick.Connect With Five Year YouWebsite & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: @fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comDisclaimerThis podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or financial advice. Some episodes may reference tools, books, or resources that include affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20, Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

In this episode, Andrew and Catherine dive into one of the most common (and confusing) questions people face during personal growth: Who am I actually becoming?If you feel like something needs to change but you can’t quite name what, you’re not broken — you’re lacking clarity, not motivation. This conversation walks through how to identify the quiet clues your future self is already giving you, how to separate who you are from who you were taught to be, and how to decide who you are without pressure, panic, or blowing your life up.Key Topics CoveredWhy most people don’t change because of lack of clarity, not lack of motivationThe difference between being “lost” and being ready for alignmentHow societal expectations shape identity without us realizing itWhy clarity doesn’t come from big decisions — it comes from noticingLearning to listen to your internal voice instead of outside noiseHow your body signals alignment vs. resistanceWhy future clarity feels calm, not urgent or euphoricThe danger of confusing clarity with certaintyHow opting out of societal scripts creates freedomWhat childhood interests reveal about your natural wiringFollowing energy instead of forcing ambitionWhy discomfort is one of the best sources of informationHow to explore identity without needing a full planWhy this process should feel exciting, not heavyActionable TakeawaysAsk yourself: Who taught me who I should be?Notice what repeatedly energizes you — that’s data.Pay attention to what drains you — that’s data too.Look for patterns, not lightning-bolt realizations.Revisit what you loved as a child without judgment.Separate identity from labels and job titles.Stop waiting for certainty — clarity comes through movement.Take one small step toward what feels aligned.Let calm be your compass, not urgency.Treat this process as exploration, not a test.Quotes from the Episode“You’re not lost — you’re just listening inward for the first time.”“Clarity doesn’t feel urgent. It feels calm.”“Your future self is already leaving clues in your life.”“You don’t need a full vision — you just need the next honest step.”Glimmers of the WeekCatherine: A surprise thrifting connection that turned into an unexpected, generous wardrobe handoff and a reminder of how aligned energy attracts aligned experiences.Andrew: Relief from long-term jaw pain after a breakthrough physical therapy session — and the gratitude that comes with living without constant pain.What’s NextIn the next episode of the Five Year You series, Andrew and Catherine explore how to build habits that align with the person you’re becoming — without forcing discipline or burning out.Connect with UsWebsite: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouTikTok: https://tiktok.com/@fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comDisclaimerThis podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice. Some links may be affiliate links.

Hosts: Andrew Dewar & Catherine CollinsEpisode OverviewReinvention doesn’t have to mean blowing up your life, burning bridges, or starting from zero. In this episode, Andrew and Catherine talk about how real, sustainable change actually happens — slowly, intentionally, and with respect for the life you’ve already built.If you’ve ever felt called to become a new version of yourself but feared what it would cost your relationships, career, or sense of safety, this episode is for you. You’ll learn how to release old identities gently, navigate fear without letting it run the show, and grow in a way that feels stable instead of chaotic.Key Topics CoveredWhy reinvention feels so scary (and why that’s normal)The difference between dramatic change and sustainable growthHow fear and safety keep us attached to old identitiesWhy “burn it all down” reinvention is mostly a mythHonoring the version of you that got you hereSeparating identity from behaviorHow to evolve without erasing yourselfWhy small, incremental change is more powerful than radical overhaulsNavigating relationship friction when you start changingSetting quiet boundaries without over-explaining yourselfAllowing grief and excitement to coexist during growthHow to know if your reinvention is actually alignedActionable TakeawaysAcknowledge your current identity — it helped you survive and get here.Start with 1% changes, not dramatic life explosions.Replace control with structure, not rigidity.Separate who you are from what you do — habits can change without self-rejection.Expect some discomfort, especially in relationships, and allow time for adjustment.Let your boundaries be quiet — not everything needs an announcement.Notice calm as a signal that you’re changing in the right direction.You’re allowed to grow gently, safely, and on your own timeline.Quotes from the Episode“Good is the enemy of great — and most people stay stuck because great feels unsafe.”“You can evolve without erasing yourself.”“Reinvention doesn’t have to be dramatic to be real.”“You don’t have to burn your life down to build something better.”Glimmers of the WeekCatherine: Snow days, quiet cocoon time, and permission to stay in without guilt.Andrew: A solo day, thrifting, and embracing personal growth without rushing it.What’s NextIn the next episode of the Five Year You series, Andrew and Catherine dive into how to get clear on the person you’re becoming — and how to stop guessing your way through change.Connect with UsWebsite: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouTikTok: https://tiktok.com/@fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comDisclaimerThis podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice. Some links may be affiliate links.

Absolutely — here are podcast-formatted show notes for“Why Starting Over Feels So Scary”, using your classic Five Year You podcast format (clean headings, readable sections, perfect for Apple Podcasts / Spotify / website).Five Year You PodcastEpisode Title: Why Starting Over Feels So ScaryHosts: Andrew Dewar & Cat CollinsEPISODE OVERVIEWStarting over sounds inspiring… until you actually think about doing it.In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack why the idea of starting over triggers so much fear — even when you knowsomething in your life needs to change. They explore the psychology behind fear, identity attachment, sunk cost, and why staying stuck often feels safer than stepping into the unknown.If you’ve ever felt called to a new version of yourself but found yourself frozen, overthinking, or staying where you are out of fear — this episode will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.WHAT WE TALK ABOUT• Why fear shows up right before growth• How fear is designed to keep you safe — not fulfilled• The difference between familiar pain and unfamiliar possibility• The sunk cost fallacy and why it keeps people stuck• Fear of losing your identity when you change• Why being a beginner again feels threatening• Fear of judgment and disappointing others• Why staying stuck has a cost — even if it feels “safe”• How time will pass whether you change or not• Why curiosity is a more powerful guide than certainty• How to explore change without burning your life downKEY INSIGHTS• Fear doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path — it means you’re at the edge of growth• You don’t need clarity to start; clarity comes after movement• Nothing you’ve done is wasted — every version of you counts• Familiar discomfort often feels safer than unfamiliar freedom• You’re allowed to evolve without having all the answersPRACTICAL REFRAMES• Fear is information, not a stop sign• You don’t have to commit to change — you can simply get curious• Starting over doesn’t mean erasing your past• Small steps are safer for your nervous system than drastic movesGLIMMERS OF THE WEEKCat: Enjoying small moments of self-expression and self-care, including makeup and nails that felt playful and grounding.Andrew: Finding a pair of Air Jordans while thrifting — a reminder that joy and healing can come from unexpected places.WHAT’S NEXTIn the next episode, Andrew and Cat explore:“How to Let Go of Who You Used to Be Without Burning Your Life Down”Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss it.WORK WITH USLearn more about coaching and upcoming programs:https://fiveyearyou.com/coachingCONNECT WITH USWebsite: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comIf this episode resonated, share it with someone who’s quietly considering a new beginning.Fear doesn’t mean stop — it means something new is trying to emerge.

Have you ever felt an internal pull toward something more—even though your life looks “fine” on the outside?In this episode, Andrew and Cat explore the quiet but powerful feeling many people experience when they’re ready for growth: the sense that the current version of yourself no longer fits. This conversation unpacks why this feeling shows up, what it actually means, and how to listen to it without burning your life down.This episode is about identity shifts, alignment, and understanding that wanting more doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful—it means you’re evolving.Key Topics CoveredWhy feeling unsettled is often a sign of growth, not failureThe difference between wanting to escape and wanting to alignWhy adults lose permission to explore new versions of themselvesHow future-self awareness begins before actionWhy growth can feel uncomfortable even when it’s rightHow fear shows up when your identity starts to changeWhy imagining a future version of yourself is meaningfulLetting go of outdated goals, habits, and identitiesWhy growth doesn’t require drastic life changesActionable TakeawaysNotice the Nudge – Pay attention to feelings of restlessness or misalignment instead of suppressing them.Name What’s Changing – Ask yourself what no longer fits instead of what’s “wrong.”Release the Pressure – Growth doesn’t require immediate action or dramatic decisions.Honor Both Truths – You can be grateful for your life and still want more.Think in Small Shifts – Identity change happens through awareness and micro-adjustments over time.Key Quotes“You don’t imagine a future version of yourself unless you’re meant to move toward it.”“Wanting more doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re ready.”“This isn’t about starting over. It’s about alignment.”Reflection QuestionsWhat feels outdated in my life right now?What part of me is asking for growth or expansion?If I trusted this calling, what might it be pointing me toward?Glimmers of the EpisodeAndrew reflects on recognizing subtle internal shifts before big changes.Cat shares the relief that comes from realizing growth doesn’t have to be dramatic or destructive.Continue the JourneyThis episode begins the Five Year You series.Next Episode:Why Starting Over Feels So Scary (And What Staying Stuck Is Really Costing You)Work With UsCoaching and resources available at:https://fiveyearyou.com/coachingConnect With Five Year YouWebsite: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comDisclaimer:This podcast is for informational purposes only and does not substitute professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. Some links may be affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.

Why Resolutions Don’t StickEvery year, millions of people set New Year’s resolutions — and by mid-January, most of them feel frustrated, discouraged, or convinced they’ve failed. In this episode, Andrew and Cat break down why resolutions so often fall apart, why it’s not a personal flaw, and what actually works if you want real, lasting change.This conversation is about releasing shame, understanding how your brain and nervous system work, and building habits that support who you’re becoming — not punishing yourself into change.In this episode, we talk about:Why most resolutions fail by designHow going “too big, too fast” overwhelms your nervous systemThe difference between goals driven by shame vs. excitementWhy motivation doesn’t come first — action doesHow identity-based habits outperform willpowerWhy systems matter more than motivationHow overwhelm leads to avoidance and freeze modeWhy rest and flexibility are part of consistencyWhy resolutions usually don’t work:They’re too vague (“get healthy,” “be better,” “lose weight”)They’re rooted in self-criticism instead of careThey rely on motivation instead of systemsThey ignore real life stress, illness, and bad daysThey don’t account for who you actually areWhat actually works instead:Start smaller than feels necessaryTiny, achievable actions build momentum. Big goals still matter — but they must be broken into bite-sized steps your brain can handle.Create systems, not rulesMotivation fades. Systems stay. Decide how you’ll show up on hard days, not just what you’ll do on perfect ones.Build identity-based habitsInstead of “I need to work out,” try:“I’m someone who moves every day”“I’m someone who shows up, even imperfectly”Know yourself honestlySome people need accountability. Others don’t. There’s no shame — just strategy.Plan for real lifeHave a Plan B for sick days, stressful weeks, and low-energy moments. Missing one day doesn’t break a habit — quitting does.Action creates motivationDon’t wait to feel inspired. Do the smallest version of the habit — motivation will follow.Helpful reframes we love:Change driven by shame rarely survives stressOverwhelm triggers avoidancePausing does not erase progressRest is part of consistencyShowing up imperfectly still countsA reminder we hope you take with you:You don’t need to overhaul your entire life this year. One small, consistent shift can change everything over time. You’re not behind — you’re building.Glimmers:Catherine’s glimmer is the joy of knowing Andrew is heading to the airport to see her after recording.Andrew’s glimmer is the same — gratitude, connection, and getting to be together after a stretch apart.If this episode resonated with you, follow the show, leave a review, or share it with someone who’s feeling discouraged about starting over.We’re with you — one small step at a time.

Rejection can feel deeply personal — whether it’s not getting the job, not hearing back, being left out, or feeling unwanted in relationships. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack why rejection hurts so much, what’s actually happening in your brain when it happens, and how to move through it without letting it define your self-worth.This conversation is for anyone who tends to replay rejection over and over, spiral into self-blame, or wonder what’s “wrong” with them after hearing no.In this episode, we talk about:Why rejection activates the brain’s pain centersHow rejection threatens belonging, not your valueThe difference between what happened and the story you tell yourselfWhy rejection often feels like an identity attackHow timing, fit, and context matter more than personal failureWhy being rejected doesn’t mean you were evaluated fairlyHow to stop internalizing rejection and move forward with confidenceHelpful mindset shifts:Rejection is an event, not a verdictNot being chosen doesn’t mean you’re unworthyYou don’t need universal approval to belongRejection often protects you from misalignmentOne “no” does not define your futurePractical ways to handle rejection:Let yourself feel disappointed without shaming yourselfName the emotion instead of becoming itSeparate facts from assumptionsReconnect with moments where you have been chosenKeep your identity bigger than one outcomeA reminder we hope you take with you:You are not your last rejection. You are allowed to grieve it — and you are allowed to move on without carrying it as proof of anything about you.Glimmers:Andrew shares a moment of calm and presence before a busy season, while Cat reflects on the joy of a slow, grounding day spent resetting her space and energy.

Bad days happen to everyone — the spilled coffee, the rude driver, the overwhelming to-do list, the kid meltdown, or the spiraling thoughts that won’t quit. But a bad day doesn’t have to turn into a bad week or a bad season. In this episode, Andrew and Cat break down exactly what’s happening in your body and mind during a tough day and share practical, science-backed steps to interrupt the spiral and truly reset.This is your guide to calming your nervous system, grounding in the present, and giving yourself the compassion you actually need.Key Topics CoveredWhy your brain goes into “fight, flight, or freeze” during a bad dayHow overstimulation + emotional flooding make everything feel worseThe Window of Tolerance and why you pop out of itWhy powering through backfiresWhat not to do after a bad daySimple grounding techniques that work in minutesHow to shift your environment and regulate your nervous systemHow to stop the negative momentum before it becomes a bad weekActionable Steps to Reset1. Acknowledge You’re Having a Bad DayNormalize it: “This is a bad day. It’s temporary.”Awareness interrupts the mental tumble.2. Ground Yourself in Your BodyWhen your mind spins, your body’s in survival mode. Try:Box breathing (4–4–4–4)Double inhale + long exhaleRubbing your armsFeet planted firmly on the groundRepeating: “I am safe right now.”3. Move the Stuck Energy OutBad days create physical tension. Release it with:A fast walkGentle stretchingShaking out your limbsA moment of dancingStomping your feet (great for kids and adults)Movement shifts your physiology faster than thoughts ever will.4. Change Your EnvironmentYour nervous system needs a scene shift:Step outside for fresh air and sunlightSplash cold water on your faceTake a warm shower (Cat’s dad’s universal cure!)A new environment interrupts the emotional loop.5. Regulate & Co-RegulateOnce calmer, try:Tea or cool waterA short napA self-hug or safe, comforting touchJournaling what triggered youAsking for a hug from someone you trust6. Drop the StoryYour brain wants to replay the bad moment a hundred times.Interrupt it with: “I don’t need to carry this anymore.”What Not to Do After a Bad DayDon’t force positivity (“I’m fine” makes it worse)Don’t ruminate — replaying it keeps the stress aliveDon’t doom scrollDon’t isolate yourselfDon’t make major decisionsDon’t self-criticizeTreat yourself how you’d treat someone you love — gently.Quotes from the Episode“A bad day isn’t a bad life — unless you carry it into tomorrow.”“Your body needs to reset before your mind can.”“Treat yourself the way you’d treat a child you adore on a hard day.”Cat’s Aha MomentsRealizing she was dysregulated without noticing it — and how helpful it is when someone gently mirrors that back.The reminder that pushing through only leads to overwhelm, overreacting, and unnecessary conflict.Andrew’s Aha MomentsUnderstanding the hyperarousal → hypoarousal cycle and why his body sometimes “checks out.”Recognizing that the reset must happen in the body before the mind can calm down.Glimmers of the WeekCat: The Calm App’s bedtime stories — helping her fall asleep faster and wake up more regulated.Andrew: Also the Calm App — loving the guided stories and the noticeable shift in his nervous system.Resources MentionedCalm App (Meditations + Sleep Stories)https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00Y3TM6CO?tag=5yy-20Aromatherapy Shower Steamershttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B09LVQZ3Z5?tag=5yy-20Weighted Blanket for Regulationhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B07RZ8FJLT?tag=5yy-20Connect with UsWebsite: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouTikTok: https://tiktok.com/@fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comDisclaimerThis podcast is for informational purposes only and does not substitute professional mental health or medical advice. Always seek help from a qualified provider for personal concerns.Some links may be affiliate links.As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20

Christmas is often described as the most wonderful time of the year — but for many people, it’s one of the hardest. In this episode, Andrew and Cat talk honestly about holiday burnout, grief, pressure, and unrealistic expectations, and offer compassionate, practical ways to experience Christmas in a way that actually feels good for you.This episode is especially for anyone who feels overwhelmed, disconnected, grieving, resentful, or simply “not into it” this year. You’re not broken — you’re human.In This Episode, We Talk About:• Why Christmas can feel emotionally heavy instead of joyful• The unrealistic pressure placed on parents (especially moms) during the holidays• How social media amplifies comparison, guilt, and expectations• Why it’s okay to feel joy and sadness at the same time• How grief shows up during the holidays — and why there’s no “right” way to do Christmas• The difference between meaningful moments and overdoing gifts and traditions• How to stop people-pleasing and start honoring your own emotional needsKey TakeawaysYou’re not broken if you’re not feeling festiveIf Christmas feels hard this year, that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Stress, grief, loss, illness, burnout, and family dynamics all get amplified during the holidays.Christmas is an amplifierWhatever you’re already feeling — joy, exhaustion, grief, loneliness — tends to feel bigger this time of year. That doesn’t make those feelings bad or wrong.More effort doesn’t equal more joyDoing more traditions, buying more gifts, or spending more money doesn’t guarantee happiness. Often, it just leads to more stress and resentment.Kids remember how you felt, not what you boughtChildren are far more likely to remember experiences, presence, and emotional safety than the number of presents under the tree.Grief and gratitude can coexistYou can miss someone deeply and still appreciate the people or moments you have now. Smiling doesn’t mean you’ve “moved on,” and sadness doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.Practical Ways to Enjoy Christmas (Your Way)Design Christmas around your emotional needsAsk yourself:– Do I need calm or excitement this year?– Do I want togetherness or more quiet?– What would actually help me feel rested or supported?There is no correct answer — only your answer.Simplify traditionsTraditions don’t have to be expensive or elaborate. Small, repeatable comforts can be just as meaningful:– One favorite movie– A quiet morning– Driving around to look at lights– A simple meal– One meaningful giftYou’re allowed to start new traditions or pause old ones.Set boundaries without guiltYou’re allowed to:– Say no to travel– Leave early– Stay home– Skip events– Change plansDisappointing others doesn’t mean you’ve failed — it means you’re honoring yourself.If you’re grieving, do what feels safestRecreating old traditions might hurt — or it might help. Either choice is valid. Staying home is not “giving up.” It’s creating space to heal.Stop forcing cheerYou don’t need to fix the mood, perform happiness, or make everyone feel joyful. Let emotions come and go naturally.What Not to Do This Christmas• Don’t force happiness or cheer• Don’t compare your holiday to social media• Don’t shame yourself for how you’re feeling• Don’t override your needs to meet expectations• Don’t assume this year defines every future ChristmasGlimmers from This EpisodeCat’s glimmer:Getting to pet the wiggliest, happiest puppy — a simple moment of pure joy and connection.Andrew’s glimmer:A morning walk, sunlight, smiling at neighbors, and seeing someone light up from a simple “good morning.”Sometimes hope and joy come from the smallest moments.Final ReminderYou don’t need to love Christmas to be doing it “right.”You don’t need to do more to be enough.You don’t need to feel happy all day to have a meaningful holiday.Getting through it — with honesty, boundaries, and self-compassion — is enough.Merry Christmas.You’re not alone.

You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely — and that’s something almost everyone experiences. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack the difference between being alone and feeling lonely, explore where that emptiness comes from, and share practical, compassionate ways to rebuild connection — both with others and yourself.Big ideasLoneliness ≠ isolation. You can feel lonely in a crowded room because connection is about being understood, not just being around others.Your brain lies. The stories you tell yourself — “I’m a burden,” “no one cares,” “I wasn’t invited because I’m not liked” — aren’t facts.It’s often rooted in old wounds. Many of us learned as kids to minimize our needs, which makes adult connection harder.You can rewire the story. Self-compassion and awareness can help you separate what happened from what you made it mean.Connection takes courage. Reaching out feels scary, but it’s the antidote to loneliness.Key takeaways1️⃣ Name the lie. When your brain says, “nobody cares,” replace it with: “No one knows I need them right now.”2️⃣ Reach out first. Send a text, share a funny video, or ask for a coffee. Don’t wait for an invitation — give one.3️⃣ Borrow hope. When you see others connecting, use it as proof that connection is possible for you too.4️⃣ Say what you need. “Can we talk?” or “I’ve been feeling disconnected” is honest — not needy.5️⃣ Get around people. Go for a walk, smile at strangers, sit in a café — you’ll feel energy shift just by being among others.6️⃣ Rebuild inner connection. Remind yourself of your worth: write down moments when you’ve been a good friend, helper, or listener.7️⃣ Shift focus outward. Helping others — even small acts — often dissolves your own loneliness.Gentle scripts to try“Hey, I’ve been thinking of you. How have you been?”“I could use a chat today — do you have time to catch up?”“Want to grab a quick coffee this week?”“I saw this and it made me think of you.”Every message doesn’t have to be deep — just real.Quotes & reflections“Your brain lies — you’re not a burden, you’re a blessing.”“Loneliness is the space between your heart reaching out and your fear holding back.”“Every time you smile at someone, you remind them — and yourself — that we’re all in this together.”GlimmersCat: Trader Joe’s ready-made dinners — giving herself grace and ease in a busy week. 🍝Andrew: Binge-watching Stranger Things guilt-free — sometimes comfort and escape are self-care. 📺If you’re struggling deeplyYou are not alone. If you’re in crisis or feeling hopeless, reach out for help right now:988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) — call or text 988Canada Suicide Prevention Service — call or text 988U.K. Samaritans — call 116 123Australia Lifeline — call 13 11 14Or visit findahelpline.com for international optionsConnectWebsite: fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comAffiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Do you ever wake up and think, “Is this it?” You’ve checked all the boxes — career, home, family — but something still feels flat. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack why life can suddenly feel boring even when everything looks good on paper. They share insights on midlife lulls, lost curiosity, and how to bring energy, novelty, and purpose back into your everyday routine.Big ideasBoredom isn’t bad. It’s a signal — not a failure. It’s your brain’s way of saying, “We’ve mastered this level. Time to evolve.”Comfort kills curiosity. The more predictable your life becomes, the less stimulation your brain gets.There are two kinds of boredom:Situational boredom — nothing to do.Existential boredom — plenty to do, but nothing excites you.Tiny novelties matter. You don’t need to blow up your life; even small changes reignite joy.Key takeaways1️⃣ Add micro-novelties. Try a new coffee shop, walk a different route, or rearrange a room — fresh experiences reawaken your senses.2️⃣ Stay curious. Learn something new just for the fun of it — a language, an instrument, or even a random hobby.3️⃣ Reconnect with purpose. If your kids, job, or routines no longer “need” you the same way, find new outlets for meaning.4️⃣ Let boredom guide you. Sometimes it’s not about doing more — it’s about resting deeply.5️⃣ Reach out. Loneliness often hides behind “busy.” Text the friend you’ve been missing — they’ll probably be relieved you did.Small shifts to spark excitementReplace scrolling with doing. Ten minutes of learning beats an hour of endless swiping.Start a “Done List.” Track what you accomplished today instead of what’s missing.Take curiosity breaks. Watch a documentary, visit a farmer’s market, or read about something new.Try the Groundhog Day reframe: Instead of escaping monotony, add playfulness to it — like Bill Murray learning piano and French.Practice boredom without guilt. Rest is not laziness; it’s restoration.Quotes & reflections“Boredom is your brain’s way of inviting you to grow again.”“The plateau isn’t punishment — it’s a charging station.”“You don’t have to burn it all down to feel alive again.”GlimmersCat: Recording in person with Andrew in their Canada home — first time in ages and totally glimmery. 🇨🇦Andrew: Finally solving the technical setup to make it happen — and proving that collaboration always feels better than perfection.ConnectWebsite: fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comAffiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Everyone wants to be liked — but trying too hard can make the opposite happen. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack the psychology of likability and share practical, science-backed (and heart-backed) ways to connect more deeply with others. Whether you’re navigating work events, friendships, or dating, these tips will help you become the kind of person people remember — for all the right reasons.Big ideasPeople want to feel seen. Listening and showing genuine interest makes you instantly more likable.Authenticity beats performance. Pretending to be someone you’re not always backfires — real connection comes from honesty.Kindness counts. The way you treat others (servers, coworkers, strangers) reveals your character more than anything you say.The “likeability loop.” When you care about people, they feel good — and associate that feeling with you.The Likability Blueprint1️⃣ Show genuine curiosity. Ask thoughtful questions about people’s lives, interests, and stories.2️⃣ Listen more than you talk. Don’t wait for your turn — truly hear them.3️⃣ Remember details. Use your phone notes if needed. Mention their kids, trips, or hobbies later — people feel valued.4️⃣ Smile and use names. A person’s name is their favorite sound; it builds warmth instantly.5️⃣ Talk in their terms. Discuss what they enjoy — sports, travel, hobbies — even if it’s new to you.6️⃣ Be kind to everyone. Your behavior toward strangers says more than words ever will.7️⃣ Don’t gossip. If you talk about others negatively, people assume you’ll do the same to them.8️⃣ Initiate connection. Don’t wait to be approached — say hello, make eye contact, and be the one who starts the conversation.Quick winsUse the “two-question rule.” After someone answers your first question, ask one follow-up that shows you were listening.Practice micro-connections. Compliment a stranger’s outfit, greet your barista, or check in with a coworker.Note their world. “How was your beach trip?” hits differently than “How are you?”Mirror energy. Match people’s tone and pace naturally — it creates subconscious comfort.Quotes & reminders“People don’t remember what you said — they remember how you made them feel.”“Kindness and curiosity never go out of style.”“You don’t need everyone to like you — just the right ones.”GlimmersCat: Domino’s gluten-free pepperoni and pineapple pizza — the ultimate cozy reward after recording. 🍕Andrew: Dinner with his daughter and her boyfriend — a milestone moment and reminder that connection starts with listening.ConnectWebsite: fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comAffiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

When was the last time you felt truly peaceful? In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack what peace actually means — and how to protect it when life, family, work, and the holidays all compete for your calm. You’ll learn how to draw healthy boundaries, avoid people-pleasing, and keep your inner world steady even when the outer world isn’t.Big ideasPeace is an inside job. Calm isn’t the absence of chaos — it’s your ability to stay centered within it.Boundaries = self-respect. Setting and keeping boundaries may upset others, but it’s how you teach people how to treat you.You can’t please everyone. Someone will always be disappointed — make sure it’s not you.Guilt isn’t a compass. Feeling guilty after saying no doesn’t mean you’re wrong; it means you’re growing.External calm starts with internal clarity. What drains your peace most — your schedule, your phone, or your thoughts?Key takeaways1️⃣ Define peace for yourself. Is it quiet time, emotional balance, or simply less chaos? You can’t protect what you can’t define.2️⃣ Stop overcommitting. Every “yes” to others is a “no” to your own calm.3️⃣ Set clear, kind boundaries. “I’m not available that day” is a complete sentence.4️⃣ Handle guilt with compassion. You’re not being selfish — you’re creating a more peaceful version of you.5️⃣ Don’t absorb other people’s storms. Be supportive without taking on their chaos.6️⃣ Create peace rituals. Start mornings quietly, take digital breaks, and end the day tech-free.7️⃣ Limit news intake. You can be informed without being overwhelmed.Practice these peace-protecting habitsTake a “no explanation” day: decline plans without justifying it.Zip up your energy: visualize a protective bubble before entering stressful environments.Replace doomscrolling with sunlight and movement.Offer an alternative plan when saying no (“Can we meet for lunch next month instead?”).Mute notifications — your peace doesn’t need a ping.Mindset shifts“Rest isn’t lazy — it’s leadership.”“Clarity is kind.”“I can love people and still say no.”“My peace is my responsibility.”GlimmersCat: Their Instagram video of Andrew playing guitar went viral — proof that consistency and creativity pay off. 🎸Andrew: His post-surgery checkup showed major healing progress — a powerful reminder that slow recovery isprogress.ConnectWebsite: fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comAffiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Episode snapshotPersonal growth is beautiful — until it’s not. In this episode, Andrew and Cat talk about the hidden fatigue that comes with healing, self-development, and “always improving.” They unpack why the messy middle is normal, why growth never really ends, and how to rest without guilt.Big ideasGrowth is cyclical, not linear. You’re not failing — you’re just in a different season.The messy middle matters. No one talks about the “in-between” years where progress feels invisible.Fatigue is feedback, not failure. Your body and mind need recovery as much as your muscles do.Judgment makes it worse. Beating yourself up for being human delays your healing.Rest is part of growth. Pausing helps new habits take root.Key takeaways1️⃣ Redefine success. There’s no “finish line” to personal growth. It’s a lifelong practice.2️⃣ Accept regression as recalibration. Two steps forward, one pizza back (as Andrew says). It’s all part of the process.3️⃣ Track what you did, not what you missed. Cat’s “reverse to-do list” builds perspective and gratitude.4️⃣ Beware the comparison trap. Everyone has a different deck of cards — focus on your own hand.5️⃣ Switch it up. If your routines feel heavy, try a new form of movement, journaling, or rest.6️⃣ Recognize seasons. Some months are for pushing forward; others are for digesting what you’ve learned.Signs you might be burned out from growthConstant fatigue or mental fogLoss of joy in “self-care” routinesGuilt for resting or taking breaksFeeling like nothing is ever enoughSmall shifts that helpWrite a “done list” instead of a to-do list.Take micro-breaks during the day — stillness counts.Build seasonal awareness: winter = rest, spring = renewal.Remind yourself: “I am not behind. I’m evolving.”Quotes & reflections“You’re chasing a sunset you’ll never catch — so pause, turn around, and notice how far you’ve come.”“Rest is not the reward for growth; it’s the requirement.”“Even growth needs recovery days.”GlimmersCat: A golden fall day in Chicago — crisp air, bright sun, and a long peaceful walk. 🍂Andrew: Cozy weekend show (“Nobody Wants This”) — proof that slowing down can feel just as good as achieving.ConnectWebsite: fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comAffiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Episode snapshotEver been told you’re “not fun” or “too serious”? Andrew and Cat unpack what fun actually means — and why chasing other people’s version of it leaves you drained. This episode helps you redefine fun on your own terms, whether that means karaoke nights or coloring budget charts.Big ideasFun got complicated. It used to be sticks and puddles; now it’s overpriced trips and curated weekends.There’s a bias toward extroverts. The world rewards loud, social fun — but quiet joy counts too.Authenticity = happiness. True fun begins when you do what genuinely lights you up, not what’s “supposed to.”Stop “should-ing” your joy. You don’t owe anyone attendance at events that drain you.The “Fun Framework”1️⃣ Define your fun. What genuinely delights you — not what looks fun to others?2️⃣ Drop guilt. Rest and relaxation are productive; joy refuels creativity.3️⃣ Practice authenticity. Say “no” to misaligned plans; say “yes” to what feels right.4️⃣ Four ingredients of fun:Freedom – Do things with no outcome attached.Presence – Be here, not in your head.Connection – Lose track of time with people or passions that sync with you.Expression – Let the real you show up (no armor, no performance).5️⃣ Replace FOMO with ROMO (Relief of Missing Out). Enjoy skipping the plans you never wanted anyway.6️⃣ Audit your joy. When was the last time you lost track of time? Start there.Mindset Shifts“Suffering through someone else’s fun is still suffering.”“Fun doesn’t have to be expensive, impressive, or loud.”“When you say no to what drains you, you say yes to what fills you.”“Joy lives in small pockets — coffee chats, thrift hunts, puppy cuddles.”Practical IdeasTry a joy audit: list five activities that make you feel alive.Add micro-fun moments — a walk, a playlist, a puzzle, or your favorite meal.Revisit childhood joy: What did little-you love? Can you bring that back now?Find your people: When you’re authentically yourself, the right friends appear.GlimmersCat: Fully funded her emergency fund after years of work — and found joy in tracking the goal.Andrew: Traveling to England with his daughter and seeing her reaction to Big Ben for the first time — pure magic.ConnectWebsite: fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: hello@fiveyearyou.comAffiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Feeling stuck, numb, or like the light went out? Andrew and Cat talk about rebuilding hope—without toxic positivity. You’ll learn why hope is a brain-and-body shift (not a mood), what quietly erodes it, and small, doable steps to feel a spark again.Big ideasHope ≠ denial. It accepts reality and imagines a different future.Your brain likes anticipation. Even the thought that “this can get better” gives a healthy dopamine lift.Grief comes first. Feel it to free it. Then take one gentle step forward.Stories shape state. Borrow hope from people who’ve pushed through setbacks.Try this (tiny, today)One good thing prompt: On waking, ask: “Why is today going to be great?” Name one simple thing (first coffee, a walk, clean sheets).Anchor to the present: 3 slow breaths + notice 3 things you can see/hear/feel.Borrow hope: Read or listen to a perseverance story (dating later in life, 52nd lender said yes, etc.).Move a little: Sunlight on your face, a 10-minute walk, stretch by a window.Purpose pebble: Do one small helpful act—smile at a neighbor, text a check-in, hold the door.Future-you assist: Ask, “What tiny thing would future me thank me for tonight?” Then do just that.Mindset shifts“Maybe there’s more for me.”“I’ve done hard things before; I can do hard things again.”“I only need a spark, not the full lighthouse.”What erodes hope (and what helps)Chronic stress, disappointment, self-blame → Practice self-compassion; feel feelings, don’t camp there.Doom-scrolling, heavy inputs → Curate feeds toward light, learning, and real connection.No direction → Choose a tiny purpose for today (make one person smile).GlimmersCat: The pure joy of petting the wiggliest puppy—five minutes of instant hope.Andrew: Morning sun + saying “good morning” on a short walk—connection lifts everyone.If you’re struggling right nowYou’re not alone, and help is available 24/7. If you think you might act on thoughts of self-harm, seek immediate help:United States & Canada: Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).United States (text): Text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line).Canada (call): 1-833-456-4566; text 45645 (Talk Suicide Canada, evenings).United Kingdom & ROI: 116 123 (Samaritans).Australia: 13 11 14 (Lifeline).Emergency: Call your local emergency number (911 / 999 / 112) if you’re in immediate danger.If you’re outside these regions, contact your local health services or search for your country’s suicide prevention hotline.Stay connectedSay hi / coaching inquiries: hello@fiveyearyou.comIG & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)We’re glad you’re here. Keep going—one small step, one spark at a time.