Being Human with Steve Cuss

There are different kinds of anxiety, but there is one type of anxiety that always feels real in the moment when it is not. Unlike acute anxiety which is always based on a real threat, like when you have to swerve to avoid a car, chronic anxiety is always based on a false threat. Like making everyone happy, or doing it perfectly every time or always needing to be there for others.  In this episode Steve and Lisa dig into what do you think you need that you don’t really need? And they also help you identify the big 5 sources of false anxiety.  Steve’s latest book explores the gap between our belief and our experience.  Help us spread the word! Leave a review or share this episode with someone who might benefit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today on Being Human, it’s all about the Enneagram.  Steve Cuss welcomes back his friend and colleague Jimmy Carnes for a discussion about the nine types and how they reflect the character of God. Carnes explains the holy idea of each Enneagram type—also known as the nine faces of God—and the ways that we are all striving for one aspect of God to be true.  Carnes and Cuss discuss the nuances of their types and others. They consider how the Enneagram system can help people identify where they lose connection with God, themselves, and others. And they discuss navigating grief and anxiety as complex humans who are loved by God. Resources mentioned in this episode include: Capable Life The Enneagram Papillion Thomas Keating’s “Programs for Happiness” “If Discerning Good & Evil is Good, Why Was the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil Bad?” (Greg Boyd, ReKnew) I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2 History of the World: Part I The Good Doctor Andy Gullahorn Rich Mullins “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry Theme song by Dan Phelps Original Music by Andy Gullahorn Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris Graphic Design: Amy Jones Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Start paying attention. Those three words sound simple enough. And yet, just about everyone who has tried to focus on understanding what’s going on inside themselves knows that the process can get tricky pretty fast. Introspection can be as infuriating as it is illuminating. On this episode of Being Human, host Steve Cuss welcomes his dear friend and co-laborer at Capable Life Jimmy Carnes to talk about paying attention. Their conversation covers dehumanization, inner critics, and anxiety. Carnes explains what triangulation is and how Christians can notice and respond to it. He shares some of his own sources of anxiety, how he’s working on addressing them, and how building Lego has become a life-giving habit for him. Tune in for an episode that is full of tips for growing more connected to God, yourself, and others. And be sure to come back next week as Carnes and Cuss’ describe how the Enneagram, reactivity, and anxiety all fit together, and how the Enneagram can help us connect to God. Resources mentioned in this episode include: Capable Life The Enneagram “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry Theme song by Dan Phelps Original Music by Andy Gullahorn Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris Graphic Design: Amy Jones Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happens when we’re reactive? We disconnect from our awareness of God.  So says Steve Cuss on this episode of Being Human. With concrete advice and a tone of encouragement, Cuss illuminates the path for listeners who want to name what causes their reactivity so they can stay connected to themselves, God, and others.  Cuss explores how Jesus paves a way for us to connect to our so-called enemies. He directs listeners into prayer and peace as he shares stories of addressing anxiety and reactivity in his own life. And he helps listeners identify how reactivity shows up in their bodies so that they can actively diffuse it. Tune in for an episode that is Scripturally rich, gently guiding, and practically applicable. Resources mentioned in this episode include: Managing Leadership Anxiety  Capable Life Richard Villodas Experimental Theology with Richard Beck “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry Theme song by Dan Phelps Original Music by Andy Gullahorn Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris Graphic Design: Amy Jones Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Steve digs deeper into the anxiety known as "reactivity" and the different ways we all respond when our values are broken by others. He uses the 2024 presidential election as an example, giving viewers a couple of tools to manage reactivity. For more about Steve, and to download his video ‘The 4 Spaces of Anxiety’ visit stevecusswords.com Being Human with Steve Cuss, in collaboration with Christianity Today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The first episode of Being Human With Steve Cuss, in collaboration with Christianity Today. Steve talks about the nature of reactivity, how it disconnects us, and how being a ‘well self’ is kept for human flourishing. Steve shares much of his own journey and gives a couple of tools to manage reactivity.  For more about Steve, and to download his video ‘The 4 Spaces of Anxiety’ visit www.stevecusswords.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Being Human with Steve Cuss, Steve and Lisa explore how communication styles—rigid vs. fluid, internal vs. external processing, and rapid vs. deliberative thinking—shape relationships, well-being, and spiritual growth. They share personal experiences, unpack how trauma and certainty can impact faith, and revisit recent conversations with Cheryl McKissick (a fifth-generation Black business leader) on family legacy and authenticity in predominantly white spaces; Adam Young on self-awareness, empathy, and spiritual disciplines for healthier connection with others and God; and Clarissa Moll (The Bulletin) in a thoughtful back-and-forth. Biblical Passages Psalm 139 (ESV) Episode Resources: Learn more about the McKissack firm Check out Cheryl Mc Kissack Daniel’s website Cheryl McKissack Daniel’s The Black Family Who Built America: The McKissacks, Two Centuries of Daring Pioneers Adam Young’s Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past with Kindness Changes Everything Adam Young’s website Adam Young’s The Places We Find Ourselves podcast More From Clarissa Moll: Clarissa Moll’s The Bulletin podcast Explore Clarissa Moll’s website Read Clarissa Moll’s substack Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter New Candles and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Get the Communication Styles Guide: https://capablelife.com/pages/podcast Join Steve at an Upcoming Intensive: Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Being Human with Steve Cuss, Steve interviews Cheryl McKissack Daniel, a trailblazing African American architect and business leader. Cheryl shares her family’s remarkable 230-year legacy, beginning with her enslaved ancestor Moses McKissick. She discusses the challenges of leading a multi-generational Black-owned business, the importance of resilience, succession planning, and corporate culture, and her experiences navigating race and gender in the industry.  Episode Resources: Cheryl McKissack Daniel’s The Black Family Who Built America: The McKissacks, Two Centuries of Daring Pioneers More From Cheryl McKissack Daniel: Learn more about the McKissack firm Check out Cheryl Mc Kissack Daniel’s website Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter New Candles and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Get the Communication Styles Guide: https://capablelife.com/pages/podcast Join Steve at an Upcoming Intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Being Human, host Steve Cuss interviews trauma counselor and author Adam Young about his book, Make Sense of Your Story. Together, they explore how personal stories and trauma shape relationships with ourselves, others, and God. Adam shares his own journey of understanding childhood wounds, the importance of self-kindness, and how faith can become entangled with coping mechanisms. They discuss the body’s role in healing, the impact of certainty in theology, and practical steps toward emotional freedom. The conversation offers hope, insight, and tools for listeners seeking healing and deeper connection. Biblical Passages Genesis 37-50 (ESV) -The Joseph Story Episode Resources: Nervous System Regulation What is Polyvagal Theory? Understanding the Window of Tolerance More From Adam Young: Adam Young’s Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past with Kindness Changes Everything Adam Young’s website Adam Young’s The Places We Find Ourselves podcast Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter New Candles and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Get the Communication Styles Guide: https://capablelife.com/pages/podcast Join Steve at an Upcoming Intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this season-opening episode of Being Human, Steve Cuss and Clarissa Moll explore how communication styles can either fuel anxiety and reactivity—or reduce it through deeper connection. Instead of focusing on what we say, they examine how we say it: the hidden subtext, assumptions, and “static” that cause people (especially leaders, couples, and teams) to mishear one another. Steve shares a practical framework for identifying three key communication patterns—rigid vs. fluid, rapid vs. deliberate, and external vs. internal processing—and explains how these differences show up in marriages, workplaces, and conflict. The goal isn’t to label anyone as “right” or “wrong,” but to build awareness that leads to humility, curiosity, and spiritually grounded connection. Biblical Passages 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 (ESV) Ephesians 4:26 (ESV)  Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter New Candles and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Join Steve at an Upcoming Intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Get the Communication Styles Guide: https://capablelife.com/pages/podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Find out what the “Six White Boomers” means for Australians during the holidays in this special Christmas week episode of Being Human with Steve Cuss. Steve gets cozy alongside The Bulletin co-hosts Russell Moore and Clarissa Moll for a candid, funny, and deeply comforting conversation about Advent, Christmas carols, and the “mental and emotional load” many people carry this season. Together they explore joy and grief at the manger, the hope of Emmanuel (God with us), and how the nativity story—through figures like Joseph, the shepherds, and the light in John 1—invites us to bring our whole selves to Jesus and be “human-sized” again.  Episode Resources: Andrew Peterson’s Behold the Lamb of God How A Charlie Brown Christmas Almost Wasn’t (The New Yorker) Bing Crosby - Christmas Classics “In the Bleak Midwinter” (Christina Rossetti poem + Gustav Holst tune) Boney M’s Mary’s Boy Child https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/just-drop-the-blanket/ A Charlie Brown Christmas: Linus reciting Luke 2:8-20 Russell Moore’s Always Festivus and Never Christmas (article) White Christmas (movie trailer) The Bells of St. Mary’s (movie trailer) National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (trailer) The Nightmare Before Christmas (“What’s This?” clip) Six White Boomers (Australian Christmas song about kangaroos) Wombat Divine (Australian children’s Christmas story) Biblical Passages Luke 2:8-10 (ESV) Matthew 2 (ESV) John 1 (ESV) Romans 8 (ESV) Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter Get Your Copy: The Five Steps to Christmas Sanity PDF New Candles, Advent Prayers, and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Join Steve at an Upcoming Intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Host Steve Cuss explores the mental and emotional burdens we carry, drawing on Jesus’ teaching about a light yoke. Reflecting on the Christmas story from Luke 2, Steve shares personal traditions and discusses how God enters our struggles. He connects the nativity’s humble setting to themes of power, history, and care for the marginalized. The episode blends spiritual insight, personal anecdotes, and cultural commentary, inviting listeners to find hope and rest during the Christmas season. Episode Resources: The Long and Winding Road moment from the Get Back documentary More about Augustus (63 BC - AD 14) Oh Holy Night performed by Vince Gill O Come, O Come Emmanuel performed by Shane & Shane Books & Biblical Passages Matthew 11:28–30 (ESV) - Jesus’ teaching about burden & yoke Luke 2:1–20  (ESV) - The birth of Jesus and its surrounding circumstances Philippians 2:5–11 (ESV) - Jesus took the form of a servant Luke 15:3–7 (ESV) - The parable of the lost sheep John 10:1–18 - The Good Shepherd Luke 10:25-37 (ESV) - The Good Samaritan Story Luke 2:41–52 (ESV) - the “lost boy Jesus”  Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter Get Your Copy: The Five Steps to Christmas Sanity PDF New Candles, Advent Prayers, and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Join Steve at an Upcoming Intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hosts Steve and Lisa Cuss share five practical tips for maintaining emotional and mental well-being during the Christmas season. They discuss handling family tensions, grief, and the pressures of holiday preparations, emphasizing self-awareness, emotional preparation, and setting boundaries. Blending personal stories and spiritual reflections, they encourage listeners to notice their emotional states, manage reactions, and make space for both joy and sadness. The episode offers compassionate, human-sized advice to help listeners create a peaceful, connected, and meaningful holiday experience, even amid challenges.  Episode Resources: Secure your copy of The Five Steps to Christmas Sanity PDF Listen: Anxiety, the Nervous System, and Your Window of Tolerance: Lisa Cuss & Clarissa Moll John Chapter 1 (ESV)  Revelation 21:3-4 (Eugene Peterson’s The Message) AA Meeting Guidelines Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter New Candles, Advent Prayers, and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Join Steve at an upcoming intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Being Human, Lisa Cuss explores how anxiety and stress push us outside our God-given window of tolerance. With monthly co-host Clarissa Moll, Lisa unpacks how the nervous system reacts to overwhelm, the difference between hyperarousal and hypoarousal, and practical tools for grounding, breath prayers, embodied faith, and reconnecting with God’s presence. This conversation on emotional health, trauma, and Christian spiritual formation can help you stay rooted in God’s presence, reduce reactivity, and remain human-sized in stressful situations. Episode Resources: Learn about Dr. Daniel Siegel’s work Learn more about the Window of Tolerance  How to recognize Hyper arousal and Hypo arousal  30 30 Grounding Techniques to Quiet Distressing Thoughts Book recommendations on the Apostle Paul and His work as community Builder Read John 1:14 (ESV) Mark 12:28-31 (ESV) More From Clarissa Moll: Clarissa Moll’s The Bulletin podcast Explore Clarissa Moll’s website Read Clarissa Moll’s substack Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter New Candles, Advent Prayers, and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Join Steve at an upcoming intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hosts Steve and Lisa Cuss explore how to manage your mental load, emotional load, and anxiety by revisiting powerful conversations with Clarissa Moll, Lysa TerKeurst, and Abby Thompson. Together, they unpack how emotional and mental “fields” work, how anxiety spreads between people, and what it means to stay human-sized instead of reacting by getting bigger or smaller. Clarissa shares insights on reactivity and the “mama bear” instinct, Lysa offers transformative wisdom on boundaries, codependency, and healing from unwanted divorce, and Abby brings a Gen Z perspective on comparison, social media, and the slow work of God. It’s a practical guide for anyone seeking Christian emotional health, anxiety management, spiritual formation, self-awareness, and healthier relationships rooted in God’s presence and peace. Episode Resources: Abby Thomspon’s Growing Lysa Terkeurst’s Surviving an Unwanted Divorce Steve Cuss’s book Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs  Anne Lamott’s book Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (“crappy first draft”) Learn more about: Kosuke Koyama More From Clarissa Moll: Clarissa Moll’s The Bulletin podcast Explore Clarissa Moll’s website Read Clarissa Moll’s substack Original Episodes Links: How to Stay Human-Sized: Managing Anxiety, Reactivity, and Faith with Steve Cuss & Clarissa Moll Lysa TerKeurst on Surviving an Unwanted Divorce and Finding Healing Through Faith Abby Thompson on Overcoming Anxiety in the Big City Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter New Candles, Advent Prayers, and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Join Steve at an upcoming intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Host Steve Cuss and Author Abby Thompson talk about anxiety, faith, and the pressure of coming of age in the digital era. From high school to her college years in Nashville to her leap of faith moving to New York City, Abby shares how therapy, prayer, and community helped her navigate fear, self-doubt, anxious thoughts, and the noisy expectations of social media. Together, they explore what it means to stay human-sized in a world obsessed with achievement, and how slowing down to notice God’s presence can transform anxiety into peace and purpose. Episode Resources: Abby Thomspon’s Growing Redeemer Church (Upper West Side)  Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness  Biblical References: Matthew 22:37-39 (ESV) 2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)  Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter New Candles, Advent Prayers, and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Join Steve at an upcoming intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Host Steve Cuss and bestselling author and Bible teacher Lysa TerKeurst shares her raw, faith-filled journey through betrayal, gaslighting, and the heartbreak of an unwanted divorce while discovering how to stay rooted in God’s presence and emotional health. Steve and Lysa explore mismatched relationships, codependency, and the sacred work of setting healthy boundaries that protect peace and dignity. A deeply honest and redemptive conversation offering hope and wisdom for anyone walking through relational pain, loss, or the slow rebuilding of trust. Episode Resources: Lysa Terkeurst’s Surviving an Unwanted Divorce Learn more about Craig Groeschel’s work HERE Lysa TerKeurst and Craig Groeschel: The Power To Change Lysa TerKeurst and Craig Groeschel: Doubts Don’t Make You a Bad Christian  Learn more about Dr. Joel Muddamalle’s work HERE Get in touch with Dr. Jim Cress HERE Dr. Jim Cress: Practical Ways To Talk About Boundaries (video) Read Why Betrayal Can Cause Trauma and How to Start Healing Biblical References: Genesis 28 (ESV) - Jacob’s Dream Mark 14:32-43 (ESV) - Jesus Prays in Garden of Gethsemane   More From Lysa TerKeurst: Check out Lysa’s website Follow Lysa on Instagram Lysa’s podcast: Therapy & Theology Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter New Candles, Advent Prayers, and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Join Steve at an upcoming intensive: Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Host Steve Cuss and Clarissa Moll explore what it means to live “human-sized” — not too big, not too small — in our relationships with others, ourselves, and God. Through personal stories and honest reflection, they unpack how anxiety distorts reality, driving us to dominate or shrink back, and how spiritual practices help us return to balance. Learn how to recognize reactivity, practice discernment, and stay grounded in God’s presence, even in moments of stress or conflict. Steve and Clarissa help listeners move toward emotional health, self-awareness, and spiritual growth in everyday life. Episode Resources: Steve Cuss’s book Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs  Anne Lamott’s book Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (“crappy first draft”) Biblical References: Luke 19:1–10 (ESV) Zacchaeus and Jesus 1 Kings 19 (ESV) Elijah Flees Jezebel  More From Clarissa Moll: Clarissa Moll’s The Bulletin podcast Explore Clarissa Moll’s website Read Clarissa Moll’s substack Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter New Candles, Advent Prayers, and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Join Steve at an upcoming intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Steve and Lisa Cuss explore how to transform emotional reactivity into deeper, more authentic relationships in this episode of Being Human. Guests Carla Harding and Brian Heasley from 24-7 Prayer share insights on using prayer to turn anxiety into spiritual growth, even across partisan divides. Alicia Britt Chole discusses sacred lessons found in the dark nights of the soul. We dive into practical tools for healthier communication, understanding generational dynamics, and fostering compassion in all your relationships with Clarissa Moll. Join us and learn to navigate life with greater presence and relational resilience. Episode Resources: Rich Mullins' Eli’s Song John Townsend's 21 Relational Nutrients Dr. Alicia Britt Chole’s The Night Is Normal: A Guide through Spiritual Pain Dr. Alicia Britt Chole’s The Sacred Slow: A Holy Departure from Fast Faith Learn more:  24-7 Prayer International Download & Explore: Lectio 365 (a free daily prayer app) Carla Harding’s Stories of Prayer (Video) Books by Brian Heasley Article: “Gen-Z Is Labeled As ‘Difficult’ In The Workplace, But There’s More To The Story” Article: 'We See Children As Pestilent' (building on the idea attributed to Socrates) Clarissa Moll’s The Bulletin podcast Explore Clarissa Moll’s website Read Clarissa Moll’s substack Matthew 26:36-46 (ESV) - The Garden of Gethsemane Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter New Candles, Advent Prayers, and Journals: https://www.stevecusswords.com/ Join Steve at an upcoming intensive: Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Host Steve Cuss welcomes Dr. Alicia Britt Chole (Dr. ABC) for a profound conversation on faith, doubt, and spiritual transformation. Once a strident atheist, Dr. ABC shares her journey to a deep faith in Jesus, revealing how questioning and belief can coexist beautifully. Together, they explore the art of living in the plural—inviting Jesus into our thoughts, relationships, and even the challenges of parenting a child on the autism spectrum—showing how grace, wisdom, and love shape a resilient life of faith. Episode Resources: Dr. Alicia Britt Chole’s The Night Is Normal: A Guide through Spiritual Pain Dr. Alicia Britt Chole’s The Sacred Slow: A Holy Departure from Fast Faith Matthew 22:36-40; John 17 (ESV) - The Greatest Commandment Matthew 26:36-46 (ESV) - The Garden of Gethsemane More From Dr. Alicia Britt Chole: Read Dr. Britt Chole’s blog HEREFollow Dr. Britt Chole on instagram Sign up for Steve’s Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter Join Steve at an upcoming intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices