The Luke and Pete Show

Welcome, intrepid podcast traveller - good to have you with us. Let Pete regale you with tales of a near-death experience involving a 25-minute walk, getting a blister while dodging a man carrying a slab of MDF, and fancifully thinking about taking up boxing. We've all been there.Elsewhere, Luke continues to beat Pete at chess and will not let him forget it. Plus, retro video games we'll never finish, debating whether Pete Hegseth's bench press is impressive and Luke witnessing a catastrophically cringe question asked in front of a thousand people. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A former US President said that aliens exist! More on this story right here on LAPS. In other news, Battery Robot has returned to the fold, Luke’s getting into chess and Tommy Robinson is still a horrible grifter.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Monday everyone. What better way to start the week than with some allegorical analysis of 1986’s Top Gun? Also on today’s menu: framemogging, Sci-Fi literature, hot tamales and, crucially, supermarket biscuits. Pete reckons this thing goes all the way to the top.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete contend with some of the grim realities of the ruling classes on both sides of the pond. In unfortunate news for Peter, a truly dreadful man shares his passion for the Toyota Century.There’s also some ice bath chat, a big battery submission and a brief look back at Pete’s dating history.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On the agenda today: Maxïmo Park, tight trousers and the appendages they disguise (or don’t disguise) and the astonishing number of famous people produced by one small Scottish town.Plus, we have a look at a beautiful radio owned by Luke’s grandad and find out what Pete’s father makes of AI.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We kick off today’s episode with a look back on the good and the bad of 1990s cartoons and satire, before taking a moment to appreciate the late, great John Virgo.What’s more, there’s some battery business and listener correspondence to attend to. A Network Rail gentleman tells Luke and Pete a bit more about animals being hit by trains.Send us your best stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mr Donaldson’s just got in from another European trip, this time to the land of tapas and seashell-adorned buildings. Today’s topics include punctuation, close calls with rental car companies and the death of the Metaverse. Plus, loads of limestone might be cheaper than you think.Send us your best stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Disturbing psychological conditions, Disney cruises and the obscenity of billionaires. Variety is the spice of life. Plus, there’s plenty of love around here for Harry Hill and plenty of time to marvel at the sheer number of species out there. Remember, there are always more armadillos than you think.Send us your best stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete’s been to Paris and it’s making everyone very depressed, and not because of envy. The man is self-admittedly awful at booking things.On an equally cheery note, the guys discuss the limits of their animal-killing capacities, as well as those of train drivers. Also, worming a cat is no joke. Happy Monday everyone.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke and Pete kick off this episode by delighting at the days getting longer. It’ll be spring before you know it, lads.Things get more controversial when Luke has his say about lager consumption alongside a curry (is it really that good of a pairing?) and the guys take a look at the curious case of Veronika the Austrian cow. She may or may not be doing wonders for the reputation of her species’ intelligence. Also, raw milk is definitely still disgusting.Send us your best stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Carmageddon II looms large in Pete’s early university memories, but it’s not the reason he had to apologise to campus security. Luke, meanwhile, had to deal with an American-style shared room. The stuff of nightmares nowadays.Elsewhere, the guys discuss the Beckham family drama and wonder precisely how many cakes Mr Tom Cruise is sending out at Christmas. Place your bets.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Impending doomsday diary entry 876, from Donaldson and Moore’s bunker studios…As the world casually burns, we still find time to enjoy Looksmaxxing bros continuing to shoot themselves in the reproductive organs in their quest for hotness - as well as the Tate Brothers conducting their own Donaldson weekender.Plus, the big questions answered: who are our own Top G influencers? What’s the best substance to soak your hands in before fighting? How to best bribe your children? What’s the optimum time to have dinner? Consider this a public service to you all. Battery Robot has had his firmware update and needs to guzzle down on your submissions! Get them into: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke’s got to come clean about his murky past: the amount of pints and chocolate eclairs he knicked while working at the Student Union. To be fair, at least he wasn’t getting high on his own pork supply like Pete was at Leicester City. Plus: the relentless abundance of political weirdos, tricks of the hotel trade and metal bands fronted by literal children. Just another Monday with your podcast dads… Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After dancing delicately through Luke’s recent toilet trouble for a good ten minutes, we find out that Pete’s been buying radar keys on eBay. Doth the cap fit, n all that.Elsewhere, we rate the last meals of Ivan the Terrible, Hitler and various other horrible men, and we officially dispel the myth of the WWI Christmas Day football match - and we are definitely the first podcast to work that out. Plus, disappointing curry dispatches from Indian restaurants in the US.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I know what you're thinking - if I download this episode of The Luke and Pete Show, what can I expect to hear? Well, first off you're going to hear about a really expensive tuna. After that you're going to find out all about what it's like trying to get cash out of a bank these days, a conversation which naturally evolves into Pete's latest run in with the taxman, and after that there's a bit of chat about looksmaxxing, something that you will be genuinely worse off for hearing about. But don't let that put you off! And send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. DO IT NOW! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to what feels like a podcast at the end of the world. Put it this way, Pete is desperate to know where he can secure regular asthma medication from as we edge ever closer to the abyss.In the meantime, the lads still find time to talk about purchasing paint, why you shouldn't urinate in the sink, and Axl Rose's performing habits. There's also adverts for soup, a very welcome New Year's appearance from Battery Robot, and the question on everyone's lips - will Luke and Pete invade Greenland?New Year, new questions? Only one place to put them: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Looking back on it, how weird was Covid? Luke and Pete share some of their oddest memories of a strange time, before going on to chat about potential new pandemics, executions and the story of pellagra in the Deep South.After that, they open up the email pipes and hear your stories about wallabies in the Midlands, guide dogs failing their training and a food poisoning story with a twist. To get involved yourself, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Luke and Pete Show is back for another year, and what better way to start 2026 than to have a deep and fairly involved conversation about paté? And when does a paté become a parfait? And when does it become a terrine?Elsewhere, Pete needs a new fridge, the lads run the rule over Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl, and there's plenty of other chat besides. Oh, and are we starting off the year with a brand new player into the Battery Daddy? Tune in to find out...New Year, new questions? Only one place to put them: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete's beef wellington didn't quite go to plan on Christmas Day, due to some promises made by a butcher that simply weren't kept. But did he let that setback deter him? Tune in to find out. Elsewhere, there's some sizable kebab shop chat, Pete has been wrestling with His Majesty's Revenue and Customs again, and the boys hear from a listener who developed food poisoning in one of the most impressive locations on Earth. Oh, and Luke's put his house on the market - first port of call? Bothering the property photographer with annoying questions about photoshop and shutter speeds...Christmas-related comments or queries? Only one place to put them: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Merry Christmas everyone! Luke and Pete muster on Christmas Day to deliver you a festive, bumper edition of the Luke and Pete Show, because they know it's what you all asked for from Santa...This time around there's chat about Jake Paul's broken jaw (truly a Christmas present for everyone, that), a truly bizarre claim from the husband of an ex-Blue Peter presenter, some server chat from Pete because it's his Christmas as well, and then Luke wraps things up by playing "What's Pete doing at this time on Christmas Day?" (Hint: it mostly involves farts).Merry Christmas everyone! Enjoy the festive season!Subscribe to join us, and email whenever you like: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.