Black Fluidity: Bi Black Men Talk

Well, hey! It's been a while since we've holla'd at ya. How you holdin up? We've been on a little hiatus - or not so little, to be honest - focusing on life stuff, family milestones, and sometimes just barely keepin it together. Let the church say amen   In this episode which has been in the can since prior to our hiatus, our bi blank men take on the vast and rangy topic of polyamory & monogamy.   Along the way we get into the origin, meaning and nuance of the term polyamory in culture, as well as other terms like nonmonogamy and open relationships; we grapple with and debate our own conceptions of monogamy, as two folks that have long decided it's not for either of us; we explore class dynamics within the polyamorous community writ large, stimulated by relatively recent conversation around polyamory in mainstream media and social media; we even discuss the tricky phenomenon of polyamory (or nonmonogamy) as a fix for failed monogamous partnership;   And much more!  We hope you enjoy it, and we wanna hear your thoughts.     A few links to stuff & folks referenced in our convo:   Neo-pagan leader Morning Glory Zell Ravenheart - credited with originating the term 'polyamory' Tyler Austin Harper's article in The Atlantic which sparked our class convo The Ethical Slut, by Dossie Easton Polyamory advocate and educator Evita Sawyer Polysecure, by Jessica Fern Love's Not Color Blind, by Kevin Patterson Bisexual Married Men, by Rob Cohen

CeeMo and Frank circle back to touch base on the time since the last pod, and have a fruitful discussion about relationship dynamics as two bisexual black men in committed albeit unconventional relationships with black women. * New Episodes Every Other Friday! *

In this episode, BlackFluidity hosts, Frank and Mo, address the sensitive topic of "Touch Deprivation," aka ‘Skin Starvation’. They discuss its definition, personal experiences, societal impacts, and the distinction between sexual and non-sexual touch. They also cover the significance of touch from childhood to adulthood, cultural variations in touch, the role of technology in fostering isolation, and strategies to combat touch deprivation, such as engaging in social activities, understanding consent, and utilizing technology for connection. The conversation is insightful, with the speakers sharing personal anecdotes, posing reflective questions, and offering potential solutions to touch deprivation. The script reflects a deep dive into an often overlooked aspect of human interaction and its importance for mental and emotional well-being.

A powerful and deeply personal narrative shared by Terrell, a 23-year-old bisexual Black man who is also disabled. Born and raised in Decatur, Illinois, Terrell opens up about his journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and the challenges he faces at the intersection of his identities. From an early age, Terrell felt different from others, grappling with societal stereotypes and expectations tied to his race, sexuality, and disability. He speaks candidly about the internal conflict and self-hatred he initially felt upon realizing he was different, compounded by the difficulties of being Black and disabled in society.   Despite these challenges, Terrell's story is one of growth, self-love, and resilience. He recounts his adolescence, his first crushes on both a female and a male at the age of 16, and the process of coming out in a Christian household that had instilled fear of damnation for his sexuality. Terrell found solace and acceptance among friends who were also part of the LGBTQ+ community and through his involvement in a high school GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance), which provided a supportive environment to explore and affirm his identity.   Terrell's narrative also touches on the complexities of navigating sexual relationships, confronting biphobia, and the importance of connection over casual encounters. He emphasizes the significance of understanding and respecting LGBTQ+ history, advocating for self-education as a means to empower oneself and others.   He also reflects on the importance of embracing both his masculine and feminine sides, advocating for self-acceptance and the freedom to express oneself without fear of judgment. Terrell's journey is a testament to the power of self-acceptance, the value of supportive communities, and the strength found in embracing one's full identity. His story highlights the challenges and triumphs of living at the intersection of multiple marginalized identities, offering insights and encouragement to others navigating similar paths.

A personal narrative of self-discovery and evolution. Jay's story, the journey of a 38 year old bisexual Black man, delves into his personal journey of self-discovery and growth, his identities, exploring his experiences with bisexuality, relationships with both men and women, challenges in communication and acceptance, as well as reflections on community involvement and personal development.

Ross Victory, a 37-year-old bisexual Black man from Los Angeles reflects on his identity, experiences, and challenges growing up and navigating his bisexuality in a society that sometimes lacks acceptance. He shares moments of self-discovery, struggles with biphobia, the importance of community, his hopes for the future, and experiences with openness and vulnerability.  Highlighting the importance of community, self-empowerment, and storytelling his narrative is introspective, personal, and highlights the importance of self-acceptance and creating space for diverse voices. Through his words, Ross aims to educate, inspire, and create a space for authentic representation of bisexual Black men.   Ross expresses himself through music, writing, and speaking engagements, using his platform to advocate for bisexual representation and empowerment. He discusses his creative endeavors as a means of self-expression and advocacy for the bisexual community.

Heru’s story is a powerful and candid personal journey of its speaker, Heru, through discovering and accepting his bisexuality. Heru, now 29 years old and living in Atlanta, Georgia, reflects on his upbringing in Jamaica, Queens, New York, and his early struggles with understanding his attraction to both men and women. Despite societal pressures and the absence of the term 'bisexual' in his early vocabulary, Heru navigates through the complexities of sexual orientation and internalized biphobia.  He shares pivotal moments from his youth, including the influence of pornography and his initial sexual experiences, that led him to question and eventually affirm his bisexuality. Heru's narrative also delves into the challenges of dating as a bisexual Black man, confronting and overcoming stereotypes, and seeking validation and confidence within himself and his relationships.  His journey includes seeking community and finding support among other bisexual Black men, which played a crucial role in his self-acceptance and empowerment. Heru's story highlights the societal misconceptions and stigmas associated with bisexuality, particularly within the Black community, and his ongoing efforts to navigate a predominantly binary understanding of sexual orientation.  This speaker presents an intimate and reflective account of his life experiences, emphasizing the importance of authenticity, community support, and self-acceptance. 

The speaker, Ifadadefumi fasanmi Fayemi (Dadefumi), shares an intimate and comprehensive account of his life, beliefs, experiences, and identities. Discussing his upbringing in Detroit within a supportive, artistically vibrant African American family, exploring themes of sexual fluidity, spirituality, family dynamics, artistic influence, polyamory, and societal expectations.    Dadefumi identifies as a cisgender, sexually fluid man of African descent, refusing traditional bisexual labels in favor of a more nuanced understanding of sexuality as a spectrum. He openly reflects on his journey of self-discovery, from childhood curiosities and challenges to his roles as a father, artist, and advocate for sexual fluidity and spiritual growth.    The narrative underscores his deep connection with his Yoruba spiritual roots, his experiences navigating polyamorous relationships, and his vision for the future of sexual fluidity framed as a 'superpower' tied to spiritual and natural alignments.    Dadefumi is a highly introspective, articulate, and multifaceted individual. He’s deeply rooted in his African heritage and spiritual beliefs while being an advocate for understanding and embracing the complexities of human sexuality and relationships.   Dadefumi's narrative is a rich exploration of his life as a cisgender, sexually fluid African American man, detailing his upbringing, artistic influences, family life, spiritual journey, and advocacy for a broader understanding of sexual identity and relationships. His story is a testament to self-discovery, acceptance, and the power of embracing one's full spectrum of identity.

In our inaugural episode we talk first about who we are & why we're podcasting, and share our goals for the pod; before getting into our experiences of being 'out' as a Bi brotha, personal history with Bi activism, and our working definitions of "fluidity" (02:35) We touch on some pop culture with a discussion that flows through Lil Nas X "Montero" video (12:40), hip-hop objectification & double standards, reading the Pornhub data, Black (& White!) queer bodies, and Queerbating & LGBTQIA representation amongst our comic-book-movie heroes (19:20) We get into portrayals of historic Bi icons in Black community & media (23:52), Bi mentors who have touched our personal lives, and the Bi-erasure apparent in the legacies of heroes like Malcolm X, Richard Pryor and James Baldwin (32:50) We circle back to some discussions from the Black Lotus Project on disclosure politics & biphobia in the Black community, after sharing a bit about BLP, and other work of its founders, brothers Dadefumi & Herukhuti, including Recognize: the Voices of Bisexual Men https://robynochs.com/2014/09/08/recognize-the-voices-of-bisexual-men/ & the NoHomoNoHetero film https://nohomonohetero.com/support-the-movement/ (35:06)

We ask one another insightful and fun questions so you can get to know us, and perhaps to stimulate convo where you're at. This one is not such a quick-hitter, we go in on a few subjects! #BlackFluidity #biblackmentalk

In this episode with guests Ross Victory and Robb, CeeMo and Frank dive deep to dissect the depth of bi representation in mainstream & black popular culture. From discussing the evolving portrayal of bisexuality across film & tv, music, books, porn, and even opera, to expressing their personal experiences as bisexual Black men and their hopes for more diverse and accurate representation, this conversation is a rich tapestry of truths, challenges, dreams, and so many content recommendations [you’ll wanna take notes]! #BlackFluidity #BisexualVisibility #biblackmentalk follow Ross Victory @rossvictorious on IG and www.rossvictory.com follow Robb @irobb_thefuture on IG and TikTok

CeeMo and Frank are joined by Heru, facilitator of the FluidBiDesign Atlanta Chapter, for an insightful discourse on both personal and wider societal nuances of consent through the lens of black, bisexual men. FluidBiDesign Atlanta Chapter is on IG @fluidbidesign_atl See you in two fridays!

CeeMo and Frank catch up during a hectic period, and discuss the impacts of social media on our personal lives and culture at large... catch in! See you in two fridays!

Frank and CeeMo go in on the most popular, most written about, most sang about, most agonized over topics in all of human history - Love and Happiness.

This episode is a quickhitting Q&A between CeeMo and Frank - enjoy! * New Episodes Every Other Friday! *