Claim OwnershipIf I Speak
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Ash Sarkar and Moya Lothian-McLean sort the personal from the political, tackle listener dilemmas and air their opinions on the frustrations of modern life.
102 Episodes
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Moya has been breaking the habit of a lifetime by choosing to stick with her choices rather than quit. She asks Ash how to trust your gut when it comes to leaving or staying, whether it’s a job, friendship or romance. Plus: would you use Chat GPT to name your baby? Next week it’s our […]
Have we become reliant on having our feelings validated instead of taking valid criticism? Ash and Moya offer their own strategies for worrying less about what other people think. Plus: how to deal with an ex who’s found God and turned rightwing but is still hanging around. Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on […]
Ash has a big theory about what makes someone into a proper adult – and it’s less about age or wisdom than the experiencing of caring for someone else. Plus: can you make a casual hook-up turn serious? Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ […]
1Sure, you look great – but can you spell pharaoh? Ash and Moya start the year with a tough conversation about the beauty regime that rules over us all. Has women’s freedom been undermined by a fixation on beauty? Are men experiencing 2000s-levels of body dysmorphia? Plus: advice for a listener who wants more intellectual conversations […]
Culture writer Lanre Bakare joins Ash and Moya in Manchester to talk about the precarious state of arts and nightlife around the UK, Black cultural identity outside of London, and the rise of ‘cultural deserts’ – as well as the unofficial launch of the ‘BAMÉ Army’. Plus: a dilemma about a difficult houseshare. Lanre’s book, We […]
Ash and Moya are joined by Rizzle Kicks star and author Jordan Stephens to talk about changing attitudes to gender and relationships. Are we regressing into essentialist ideas of gender? Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? Plus: advice for a disappointed wife – with help from our audience. Recorded live at EartH in East London […]
Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Ash and Moya debate the pros and cons of feeling shame after Ash reveals that her own moral universe is governed by guilt. Plus: what to do about a best friend with a mean streak. Send […]
NEW LIVE SHOW! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Presale tickets available at 11AM on 10th December – go to crossedwires.live and use the code CW26EARLY. After watching the Wicked sequel, Moya wonders if politeness is stopping us from seriously addressing women’s shrinking bodies and changing faces. Are we allowing […]
Last chance! We’re at EartH in East London on 16 December with guest Jordan Stephens – a handful of tickets are still available from Dice. Ash and Moya tackle a mystery question about ethical consumption with a conversation about the urge to beautify and shopping as a numbing mechanism. Plus: advice for a special one wondering […]
We’re in Manchester tonight (25 November) with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – final tickets available from Contact Theatre! Then EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – get tickets from Dice. This week Moya and Ash talk to Dr Annabel Sowemimo about STI stigma, period-tracking apps, being disconnected from […]
LAST CALL for our Manchester event on 25 November with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – get tickets from Contact Theatre! Then we’ll be at EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – tickets are selling fast on Dice. This week a mystery question leads Ash and Moya into conversation […]
Come and see us live! We’re in Manchester on 25 November with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – get tickets from Contact Theatre. Then we’ll be at EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – actor, author and one half of Rizzle Kicks! Tickets are available from Dice. This week, […]
A special announcement: Moya and Ash will host a festive edition of If I Speak on 16th December. Joining us at EartH in East London will be special guest Jordan Stephens – actor, writer, one half of Rizzle Kicks and the author of a bestselling memoir, Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak and Dogs! Tickets are available now […]
Come and see us live on 25th November in Manchester with special guest Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There! Tickets are available now from Contact Theatre. Inspired by a famous pop psychology quiz, Moya and Ash tackle a quiz about the culture that shaped them, from celebrity crushes to memorable quotes. Plus: advice for […]
We’re coming to Manchester! On 25th November we’ll be at Contact Theatre for a live show with special guest Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There. Tickets are available now from the Contact website! This week, Moya and Ash offer a thought for spooky season: why do love hearing other people’s horror stories? Plus: Moya […]
*Display your Special One status with our only piece of merch so far – a bag! Available from shop.novaramedia.com* Moya and Ash are joined by Kemi Alemoru, editorial director of Glamour UK, to analyse the current state of pop culture, from Taylor Swift to A24. Has pop turned to slop? Or is it on us […]
*Flag your Special One status with a massive foldable Baggu bag, available from shop.novaramedia.com* Are you a stranger dater or a fan of the ‘indeterminate hang’? Moya and Ash explain their very different approaches to a first date. Plus: advice for an unhappy house-sharer. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
*We’ve got merch! It’s a big foldable bag just for Special Ones, available from shop.novaramedia.com* Prompted by Elena Ferrante’s novel My Brilliant Friend, Ash wonders what makes Moya jealous. Can friendships survive a power imbalance? What happens when YOU are the brilliant friend? And is jealousy a crucial part of desire? Reading: Wounded Attachment by […]
*Join the Baggu believers: it’s a huge foldable bag just for Special Ones, available from shop.novaramedia.com* Moya wants to stop hating men and start building trust, which means a dialogue about all the things that make that difficult: objectification, racist over-sexualisation, degrading comments, and rape (TW: 27m; 40m). Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt […]
*We’ve got merch. Gift yourself the If I Speak x Baggu bag, only from shop.novaramedia.com* A mystery question from producer Chal prompts a conversation about secrets in romantic relationships – from watching porn to cheating with an AI boyfriend. Plus: advice for an autistic dater who’s been banned from Hinge. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music […]
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"How do we make empathy and compassion cool and sexy?" You don't. It's like asking "how do we make staying sober and doing your homework cool and sexy?" That's why taking account of nuance and context is so important. Vittorio and Mike are pretty clearly not using "r**ard" and "g*y" with the intention of being cruel to the mentally disabled or LGBT community. They're also comedians who say out of pocket shit for a laugh. "Let's police comedians, but also be the fun, sexy side of the spectrum!"
You aren't though
Finally got around to listening to this. Fascinating to hear Moya and Ash's take on emotional, cultural and interpersonal issues. "Stamp on me queens", (please do not).