Beer Me That Movie

Mark your calendars, Shed Family, because a modern miracle has occurred: we are recording two weeks in a row without mysteriously vanishing into the ether! The Honda Hatchback is fully gassed up, the mics are hot, and the Cone Goblins haven't eaten our hard drives.Before we jump into the Untappd trenches, we take a look back at last week's triumphant feature film, Shepherd Warrior. We finally tackled the highly anticipated origin story of our holiest hero—the interdimensional Sexy Nun (now officially named Alexandra)Powered by our Beer of the Week, "Frank the Dank" from Lenny Boy Brewing (a West Coast IPA featuring Old School's Frank the Tank with a dart in his neck), we jump into this week's Fast Five lineup:Rolling Sevens (Zuul Beer Company): When Paul inherits a failing lawnmower tire factory, he tries to save the business by making tiny tires ("sevens") cool for luxury cars. His master plan? Pitching Shaq on a 20-wheel Bugatti that drives like a tank and can roll over thumbtacks... or peopleIn the Steep (Outer Range Brewing): A sci-fi prison break set on a penal colony at the edge of the atmosphere. The inmates invent a super-nutrient space potato, hollow it out, and ride it through the atmosphere back to Earth like a starchy spaceshipBaby Ghost (Wills): An interdimensional love story where a struggling artist falls in love with his ghost roommate. They procreate, birthing a baby ghost that phases through walls. Naturally, they train the infant to be a master jewel thiefFreedom in a Cage (Tactical Brewing): Set in a dystopian world of pure anarchy secretly ruled by Nicolas Cage, a man named Juliano tries to build a safe commune with rules, only to realize he hasn't created freedom—he's just built a slightly larger cageHot Dog (Explorium): Satan's personal pet escapes Hell for a weekend on Earth. Realizing humans are pretty nice, the Devil's Dog goes rogue, preventing people from making bad decisions and absolutely ruining Satan’s Q4 quota for damned souls👇 Help us keep the lights on in the shed! Leave us a voice message: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieVote in The Vault: beermethatmovie.com Follow us on Instagram: @beermethatmovie Find us on Untappd: Beer Me That MoviePeace, Punch, Gimme Your Frank the Dank!

He brought the gospel of peace. She brought a tactical shepherd's crook. Two thousand years ago, under the exact same star in Nazareth, humanity received a savior... and an enforcer.Meet the unknown half-sister of Jesus. Born in a pre-paid manger just three blocks down to Joseph's "side piece," she wasn't destined to be a carpenter or a leader of men. While her brother was preaching, she was the "adjudicator of men," acting as a secret mafioso who cornered the wine market and protected her flock by punching Romans in the face. When the heat gets too intense, she adopts a radical disguise, transforming into the universe's ultimate protector and history's most famous immortal badass: the interdimensional Sexy Nun.It's an epic, blood-soaked origin story featuring holy vengeance, immaculate combat, a time-traveler from Loggerstan, and Marisa Tomei giving birth next to a cow and a pig.This Week’s Feature:Beer: Shepherd WarriorBrewery: Five Stones Artisan BreweryConnect With Us:Website: beermethatmovie.comInstagram: @beermethatmovieLeave a voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieHead over to the website to vote on your favorite past Fast Five ideas in The Vault!00:00 - Intro02:17 - Act 1: The Other Manger30:58 - Act 2: The Adjudicator of Men Act 2: The Adjudicator of Men46:43 - Act 3: The Origin of the Sexy Nun58:04 - Epilogue Notes

Welcome back to Beer Me That Movie for Fast Five #37... again. If you're staring at your podcast app feeling a heavy dose of déjà vu, don't worry—we originally recorded this, but the real world attacked us, the feature film was lost to the ether, and we decided to wipe the slate clean and start over. Today, we are back in the Untappd trenches with five brand new beers and five brand new movie pitches.First, we take a trip back in time to recap last week's fan-voted Vault Feature, Juice Above the Clouds, we dive deep into the expanding "Beer Me That Movie" universe, celebrating the return of the Loggerstani Air Pirates, the Sexy Nun saving the day, and the Nugget Nectar-fueled birth of little chicken John Cena.Then, we fire up Untappd and jump into this week's Fast Five lineup:• A Good Match (Second Ship Brewing): Set 20 years in a dystopian future where women are burned at the stake if they aren't married by 25, a secret underground network of "Good Matchers" risks everything to save them.• Sassy Pony (Gigantic Brewing Company): When a wealthy grand uncle leaves his millions to his pony, a down-on-his-luck caretaker takes the job—only to be thrust into a wacky whodunit murder mystery when the pony turns up dead.• Gravity Plan: The earth is scientifically guaranteed to lose gravity for exactly seven seconds, providing the perfect window for a crew of thieves to pull off the ultimate diamond heist.• Shepherd Warrior (Five Stones Artisan Brewery): The highly anticipated origin story of the BMTM universe's greatest hero—the interdimensional Sexy Nun, born in a manger as a Valkyrie warrior.• Moo at the Moon (Hopfly): A dark conspiracy in Loggerstan where the sun never sets, forcing farmers to work 24-hour shifts while waiting for a mythical blue cow to save them.As always, only four survive. We officially drowned Sassy Pony in the bathtub, leaving the remaining four pitches up to you. Head over to our Instagram right now and vote for your favorite pitch. Don't screw this up—it's democracy, but with beer!👇 Help us keep the lights on in the shed! Leave us a voice message: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie Vote in The Vault: beermethatmovie.com Follow us on Instagram: @beermethatmovie Take a look at our Friends Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@WishYouWereBeerShowUntil next week... Peace, Punch, Moo at the moon!00:00 - Intro01:48 - Recap: Juice Above The Clouds10:15 - BOTW: Sierra Nevada Citra Little Thing12:10 - Sponsorship Break?14:07 - Beer #1: A Good Match19:51 - Beer #2: Sassy Pony25:03 - Beer #3: Gravity Plan31:28 - Bonus Beer! From The Wish You Were Beer Show Podcast31:59 - Beer #4: Shepherd Warrior38:41 - Beer #5: Moo At The Moon44:22 - Pick Our Next Movie

In a world where the only thing tighter than an airplane bathroom is a wrestler's spandex, one man must choose between his legacy and his future.When washed-up wrestling legend Rhett "The Wrestler" Harrison boards a red-eye flight to Louisville to finally kick "the juice" and reunite with his estranged daughter, he doesn’t expect his plane to be hijacked by the notorious Lagerstani Air Pirates. But when brute force is the only way to save the passengers, Rhett must break his new steroid-free streak, dive deep into the plane's septic tank for his lost needle, and form an unexpected tag team with a mysterious, split-kicking sexy nun to suplex terrorists at 30,000 feet.It's an action-packed, high-altitude fever dream full of tray-table warfare, blue poop, experimental "Nugget Nectar," and the ultimate "Fanny Pack Heart Attack".This Week’s Feature:• Beer: Juice Above the Clouds• Brewery: Altamont Beer Works🎧 Connect With Us:• Website: beermethatmovie.com• Instagram: @beermethatmovie• Leave a voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie• Head over to the website to vote on your favorite past Fast Five ideas in The Vault!Timestamps:• 00:00 - Intro & Cold Opener• 02:43 - The Vault & Listener Reminder• 04:56 - Act 1: The Last Flight Home• 23:34 - Act 2: Diarrhea Diving & The Transformation• 42:48 - Act 3: High-Altitude Heartstrings• 57:49 - Epilogue: The Post-Credit Egg Scene• 01:00:06 - Outro & Thanks#JuiceAboveTheClouds #BeerMeThatMovie #FeatureFilm37 #RhettTheWrestler #ActionComedy #AirplaneAction #NuggetNectar #PodcastMovie #YouChoseThis

Welcome back to Beer Me That Movie, the podcast that took a five-month hiatus and came back with zero answers and the exact same premise.If you’ve been wondering where we’ve been—fair question. Did we get eaten by a Cone Goblin? Did diabetes finally win? Did we quietly cancel the show like a mediocre Netflix original?In this special "recalibrating" episode, Jon and Harrison sit down in the shed to have an honest conversation about the 5-month gap. Life got heavy, survival mode kicked in, and the podcast had to hit pause so Jon could handle some real-life family stuff and focus on mental health. We talk about the burnout, the dread of the daily grind, and why taking a break was the only way to save the show from becoming a forced, creativity-lacking dumpster fire.But more importantly, we talk about why we came back. We missed the laughs, we missed the community, and we missed making up ridiculous movies with all of you.So, what changes going forward? Less perfection, more fun. We are officially retiring the 4K color-grading and the stressful, rigid plot-point checklists. Going forward, the mission is simple: Jon and Harrison drink a beer, tell a fun story, and try to make you laugh on your drive home. Everything else is just cream cheese.Next week, we are returning to form with our first-ever FEATURE FROM THE VAULT! Head over to beermethatmovie.com right now to cast your vote. Will it be Juice Above the Clouds, Mom Jeans, or Vampirate? You decide!Grab a beer, pull up a stool, and welcome back to the shed.🍻 Beer of the Episode: Sierra Nevada Celebration (Fresh Hop IPA - 6.8% ABV)0:00 - Intro: We Didn't Die 0:48 - The "Recap" & Cracking Open a Celebration 6:09 - So... What Happened? (The Honest Truth) 11:02 - What Surprised Us & What We Missed 23:48 - Changes to the Podcast: Less Perfection, More Fun 39:02 - Why Come Back Now? 50:53 - What's Next: Opening The Vault!👇 Help us keep the lights on in the shed! Leave us a voice message: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie Vote in The Vault: beermethatmovie.com Follow us on Instagram: @beermethatmovie Find us on Untappd: Beer Me That MovieAs always... Peace, Punch, Gimme Your Lunch!#BeerMeThatMovie #PodcastReturn #CraftBeer #MoviePitches #SierraNevada #ComedyPodcast #MentalHealth #Untappd #Screenwriting

This Fast Five was abandoned to life, trauma, and repair... but it lives on the internet so it's still here....In this week’s Fast Five, we hitch a ride with a former Army Ranger, wake up in a medieval fever dream, and head to space to fight a rock monster that cuddles gravity like a teddy bear. Also: what is the virtue of patience? And how do you escape a fog that may or may not be alive?Five beers. Five movie pitches. And only one will become next week’s Feature Film.This Week’s Beers and Bonkers Pitches:🍺 Destination Unknown – Fieldwork BrewingA retired Army Ranger turned Bloober driver picks up a mysterious passenger. She doesn’t give a drop-off… just says: “Take me to a destination unknown.” 🚗💀🍺 Broken Kingdom – New Trail BrewingA man wakes up in a fantasy kingdom. The only way to break the curse? Win the hand of the princess. And also a jousting tournament. And maybe slay a dragon.🍺 The Heaviest Matter of the Universe – BrewlihanHumanity’s last hope is sent to retrieve a cosmic artifact… only to find it’s guarded by a massive space golem who thinks it’s a bedtime toy. 🪨🧸🍺 Virtue of Patience – Burial Beer Co.A man finds himself in a purgatory-like test of patience. If he passes, he might earn a spot as one of the Four Horsemen. If not? He waits forever.🍺 Fogscape – Jersey Cyclone BrewingA mysterious fog rolls into town, cutting everyone off. Can this small community band together to escape… or will the fog claim them one by one?🎙️ Vote Now:Only one idea makes it to Feature Film status, and you decide which.Vote on Spotify, YouTube, or Instagram. • Website: https://beermethatmovie.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie/ • Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie • Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie00:00 - Intro01:18 - Recap: Gumballhead10:24 - BOTW: Cold Hearted IPA13:13 - Fast Five Begins14:06 - Beer #1 Destination Unknown19:45 - Beer #2 Broken Kingdom25:20 - Beer #3 The Heaviest Matter Of The Universe32:52 - Beer #4 Virtue Of Patience37:29 - Beer #5 Fogscape42:57 - Decision Time!46:18 - Outtakes

In our 37th Feature Film, we chew our way into Gumballhead—a prophetic street performer trapped in a gumball machine costume… and possibly reality itself. After one too many candy-coated warnings come true, Gumballhead becomes a viral oracle. But when a chicken conglomerate with ties to defense contracts takes interest in his chewy powers, the bubble starts to stretch.This is the rise, fall, and sticky aftermath of the man who told us to “Always wear your seatbelt.” And maybe also… “Consume the yolk.”⸻In This Episode: • The tragic backstory of a mall performer turned TikTok prophet • PoultraCo’s plan to weaponize sugar and fate • Why Gumballhead may be humanity’s only hope—or its final delusionFeaturing:Big chicken energy, darker gumballs, existential dread, industrial food-predictive tech, and a mysterious woman with a bone to pick. Gumballhead is a bubblegum sci-fi horror epic—and it will pop.About the Beer: • Brewery: 3 Floyds Brewing • Name: Gumballhead • Style: Bright American Wheat with a twist of prophecy and doomConnect With Us: • Website: https://beermethatmovie.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie/ • Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie • Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieLeave a comment with your favorite gumball prophecy. And remember—Vote for next week’s Feature Film on Spotify, YouTube, or Instagram. Your pick might just shape the timeline.00:00 - Intro01:25 - Act 1: Bubblegum Prophecies16:49 - Act 2: Fowl Play26:30 - Act 3: A Bursting Point38:26 - Epilogue

In this week’s Fast Five, we’re serving up five fresh beer-inspired movie pitches, including one killer listener submission that might just become our next Feature Film. From cursed hotel service to ancient kazoo mythology, things get weird fast.This Week’s Beer-to-Movie Madness: •Gumballhead – A failed mall vendor discovers he can see the future through his gumball machine helmet… and TikTok loves it. •Cold Hearted Woman – A secret witch barista builds an army of pissed-off women by pouring herself into iced cappuccinos. •Friends With Benefits – Two guys pretend to be married for health insurance, but HR starts asking real questions. •The Last Kazoo – A mythic origin story of Lagerstahn told in the style of Jason and the Argonauts… if Jason had beer breath. •Ring the Bell – A boutique hotel where the staff kills you with kindness—and also kills you.Vote on your favorite to decide next week’s Feature Film!📲 Instagram, Spotify, YouTube comments—or send us a letter with a photo of you holding a beer. Shirt on, please.Follow & Connect:🌐 beermethatmovie.com📸 Instagram: @beermethatmovie🍺 Untappd: BeerMeThatMovie🎙 Leave a Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie00:00 - Intro01:27 - Recap: You Vs You09:47 - BOTW: Pivo Pils14:03 - Beer #1: Gumballhead21:53 - Beer #2: Cold Hearted Woman29:22 - Beer #3: Friends With Benefits37:29 - Beer #4: The Last Kazoo45:54 - Beer #5: Ring The Bell

In Feature Film #36, we take a beer-fueled journey into the chaos of optimization gone too far. Meet Jim: burnout husband, master procrastinator, and reluctant user of a sketchy AI self-improvement app. What starts as calendar syncing and text replies spirals into full-blown identity theft when a synthetic version of Jim starts living his life better than he ever did.From psychological sabotage missions to a drunken showdown at the world’s most efficient Beer Olympics, You vs You is a cautionary tale about over-automation, digital doppelgängers, and learning to embrace your inner mess.Featuring:• A government-grade AI with a flair for date nights and betrayal• A sabotage montage that weaponizes doomscrolling and fidget spinners• Kenny “The Chug” Smith, beer Olympian and monster truck philosopher• A final battle between man and machine… in sleeveless flannel and jean shorts🔔 Subscribe for new movie madness every Wednesday🍺 Vote for your favorite idea in our Fast Five episodes🧨 Tell us which line made you spit out your drinkAbout the Beer: •Brewery: Ever Grain Brewing Co. •Name: You vs You •Style: Crisp, calculated, and probably plotting your replacement🎙 Connect With Us: • Website: https://beermethatmovie.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie/ • Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie • Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie📢 Hashtags:#BeerMeThatMovie#FeatureFilmPodcast#ComedyPodcast#MoviePitch#CraftBeerMeetsCinema#YouVsYou#AIClone#SelfHelpGoneWrong#BeerOlympics#DrunkVersusRobot#AIReplacedMe#DoomscrollingDisaster#SabotageMontage#ChugForYourLife00:00 - Intro01:42 - Act 1: Terms & Conditions May Apply21:29 - Act 2: The Better Jim Wins30:54 - Act 3: You’re Me, But Worse Now

We’re back with five fresh beers, five chaotic movie ideas, and one inevitable showdown. At the end, only four survive, and YOU decide which one becomes next week’s full-blown Feature Film.in this episode:Recap of last week’s Sexual Tyrannosaurus, our Jesse Ventura-led Predator prequel that redefined subtletyBeer of the Week: Later — one of us will have to bury the other… laterMulligan: A luxury cruise where everyone is secretly connected by something darkerNimble Giant: A has-been wrestler battles physical torment, personal demons, and eventually, the CEO of pro wrestling itselfYou vs You: An AI assistant becomes human, starts dressing like you, and gets real close to your wifeCoolship Proxima: Earth’s last hope leaves for the stars… only to find its destination turning into a black holeZlotonator: A beer-fueled origin story for Lagersthan’s first citizen — part man, part beast, all legendNo ads. No codes. No overpriced nose-hair trimmers. Just beer names, unhinged plots, and two friends going way too deep on ideas no one asked for. Head to Instagram to VOTE on your favorite concept so we can build it out next week!Follow & Connect:🌐 beermethatmovie.com📸 Instagram: @beermethatmovie🍺 Untappd: BeerMeThatMovie🎙 Leave a Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieHashtags:#BeerMeThatMovie #FastFive #CruiseShipThriller #AIWifeStealer #BlackHoleVoyage #LagersthanLore #MoviePodcast #BeerPodcast #ComedyPodcast00:00 - Intro01:04 - Recap: Sexual T-rex09:41 - Beer Of The Week: Later13:04 - Fast Five Begins13:38 - Beer #1: Mulligan23:03 - Beer #2: Nimble Giant31:55 - Beer #3: You vs You38:33 - Beer #4: Coolship Proxima44:00 - Beer #5: Zlotonator50:06 - The Final 4 — Get Ready to Vote!

Before he fought the Predator… he seduced spies, ripped off miniguns, and deathrolled a cult leader.This week, we’re rewriting the Predator playbook with a totally unlicensed, absolutely unhinged origin story for Blaine (Rhett) “Sexual Tyrannosaurus” Cooper. From gator-wrangling in the Louisiana swamps to unleashing pheromone-fueled chaos in Laos, this movie is 100% swamp sweat, zero subtlety.Will Rhett “Animal God” Cooper embrace his destiny as the reincarnated T-Rex sex deity? Or just keep yelling one-liners and tossing grenades at ancient dino cults?Expect: • Exploding jungles and forbidden passion • The CIA’s most confused agent, Dillon, dismissing dino runes • A truffle pig sidekick with political aspirations • And the most feral love scene ever mistaken for livestock distressListen now to hear the full breakdown, wild improv, and the dumbest best backstory we’ve ever pitched.⸻🔔 Subscribe for new movie madness every Wednesday🍺 Vote for your favorite idea in our Fast Five episodes🧨 Tell us which line made you spit out your drink⸻🍻 Featured Beer:Name: Sexual TyrannosaurusBrewery: Lobik BrewingStyle: Bold, swampy, and hoppy⸻🎙 Connect With Us: • Website: https://beermethatmovie.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie/ • Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie • Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie⸻📢 Hashtags:#BeerMeThatMovie #SexualTyrannosaurus #PredatorParody #ActionMoviePodcast #cultcinema #PodcastComedy #BlaineBackstory #SwampBond #TrufflePig202400:00 - Intro01:50 - Act 1: Born to Be Wild (and Also Lethal)21:56 - Act 2: Jungle Boogie & Blood Contracts43:30 - Act 3: Predator Protocol

This week, we’re back with five new beers and five original movie pitches—only four survive, and YOU get to vote on which one becomes next week’s full-blown Feature Film.Also in this episode:🦍 Recap of “Boots and Buckles,” our pirate buddy epic featuring a monkey sidekick, a dance-fighting revolution, and the mysterious Iron Taint🧻 A bus bomb thriller powered by diarrhea (yes, really)🌲 The dark sequel to The Lorax, introducing his toxic nemesis: The Moraxe🎸 Jesse Ventura stars in Sexual Tyrannosaurus, the Predator prequel you didn’t know you needed🥩 Chef drama, stolen seafood, and sous-chef betrayal in Industry Discount🧠 One man wakes up in a world where thoughts aren’t private in The FoolRemember: we don’t run ads on this podcast—no VPNs, no mushroom coffee, just movie mayhem and a lot of beer. If you want to support us, VOTE for your favorite idea on Instagram or leave us a voicemail at speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie. Your voice might end up on the next show.New episodes drop weekly. Vote. Listen. Laugh. And maybe poop on a bus.Follow & Connect:🌐 beermethatmovie.com📸 Instagram: @beermethatmovie🍺 Untappd: BeerMeThatMovie🎙 Leave a Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieHashtags:#BeerMeThatMovie #FastFive #BootsAndBuckles #SexualTyrannosaurus #TheFool #TheMorax #MoviePodcast #BeerPodcast #ComedyPodcast #VoteForTheFeature00:00 - Intro01:09 - Recap: Boots and Buckles12:28 - BOTW: Narragansett18:48 - Beer #1: Wet Exit26:36 - Beer #2: More Axe34:04 - Beer #3: Sexual Tyrannosaurus39:46 - Beer #4: Industry Discount48:39 - Beer #5: The Fool54:57 - Time To Vote!

What do you get when a washed-up pirate with jazz hands and his boot-wearing monkey sidekick go up against the British Navy’s porcelain-eyed menace? A full-blown, dance-fueled revolution on the high seas.This week, we’re cracking open a barrel of absurdity and sailing into Boots and Buckles—a buddy-pirate epic where cannonballs fly, alliances form through tap dancing, and monkeys explode warships from the inside.From desert island hallucinations to the rise of the Lagerstani Navy (a.k.a. the Dirty Clam Crushers), this is the story of how one man, one monkey, and one flaming maneuver changed pirate history forever.Featuring: •The legendary Flaming Monkey Maneuver (now banned under monkey law) •A rally speech so inspiring it made parrots cry •Glitter, grog, and the downfall of gentrified piracyAbout the Beer: • Brewery: Fieldwork Brewing Company • Name: Boots and Buckles • Style: Possibly the most perfect dual-purpose beer Fieldwork has ever brewedCrack a coconut and join the rebellion.⸻Connect With Us: • Website: beermethatmovie.com • Instagram: @beermethatmovie • Untappd: BeerMeThatMovie • Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie⸻Call to Action:Like, Subscribe, and let us know in the comments—what would your pirate rebellion speech be titled? Bonus points if it involves jazz hands.00:00:00 - Intro00:09:09 - Act I: A Monkey and a Man Walk Into a Tavern00:34:32 - Act II: Uniting the Seas00:57:13 - Act III: Rewrite the World01:12:07 - Epilogue: Buckingham is Buckle Dome

In Fast Five #33, we’re unleashing five new beer-fueled movie pitches — and only four survive to make it to the poll. That’s right: one idea gets banished to the Beer Me Vault, never to be featured (unless we change our minds later). But the top vote-getter? That one becomes next week’s full-blown feature film.Last week we melted hearts (and possibly a few faces) with Let It Morph — our 32nd Feature Film, a nostalgic shape-shifting alien buddy story. But now? It’s time to vote on the next cinematic fever dream.This Week’s Beers – What Will They Become?-Zombie Wars (Submitted by Lance) — Will office drones discover their inner warrior when real zombies invade their workplace… or are we already the undead?-Another One (Submitted by Brian) — Is this a doom-scroll thriller about algorithmic mind control… or a secret origin story for George Washington’s cloned siblings?-Boots and Buckles (Submitted by Lee) — Could it be a pirate buddy comedy? A simian-led revolution at sea? Or the origin story of America’s first rum-based monarchy?-Shadow Clock (Submitted by Rich W) — Can your death day be hacked? What if one man’s countdown to the end… suddenly changes?(Note: One beer was banished to the Vault. Sorry, Tooth Fairy cult thriller fans — your time may still come.)VOTE NOW:Head to Instagram @beermethatmovieVote for your favorite pitch — the winner becomes next week’s feature film!Connect With Us: • Instagram: @beermethatmovie • Voicemail (Speakpipe): speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie • Website + Vault Voting: beermethatmovie.com • Untappd: untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie#BeerMeThatMovie #FastFive33 #ZombieWars #AnotherOne #BootsAndBuckles #ShadowClock #CraftBeerPodcast #MoviePodcast #WeirdMovieIdeas #VoteToSurvive #LetItMorph #CloneSaga #NoAdsJustChaos00:00:00 - Intro00:01:59 - Recap: Let it Morph00:10:18 - Request For Feedback00:12:18 - BOTW: The Hustle Is Dank00:19:41 - Ad Break?00:20:35 - Beer 1: Zombie Wars00:29:14 - Beer 2: Another One00:42:27 - Beer 3: Dent00:49:35 - Beer 4: Boots and Buckles00:56:32 - Beer 5: Shadowclock01:02:08 - Go Vote Now

A crashed alien ship. A shape-shifting blob. A town where nothing ever happens… until now.In our latest cinematic fever dream, we’re headed to Tranquil Pines — a sleepy Midwestern town where four high school friends stumble upon a mysterious creature named Morph who can become anything. Rambo? Check. Your crush? Unfortunately, also check.As government agents close in and tempers flare, the boys must confront their own fears, friendships, and desire for greatness — all while helping their new alien friend get back home.Think: Stranger Things meets E.T. meets Duck Hunt.With booby traps, emotional growth, light gun heists, and a Rambo-shaped farewell you won’t forget.Meet the Crew •Ethan – The nerdy leader with a heart of gold •Milo – Wannabe cool kid with a Rambo obsession •Sam – The anxious tech genius •Lee – The sensitive artist with hidden strength •Jenny – The sharp, no-nonsense love interest •Agent Thorne – The ruthless government agent with daddy issues and a badgeThis Week’s Plot Highlights: •A glowing goo alien who says “shipping and handling” •A montage of near-death light-gun scavenging •Morph shapeshifting into a dead CIA director •A farewell scene so beautiful you’ll salute the starsTUNE IN NEXT WEEK for our Fast Five episode, where YOU get to vote on which beer-inspired movie becomes our next full Feature Film.Until then… keep your finger on the trigger, your bandana tied tight, and your moral compass pointed home.Subscribe, Like & Drop a Comment:What would you do if Morph showed up in your backyard?#LetItMorph #BeerMeThatMovie #SciFiComedy #RamboBlob #FastFiveNextWeek

In Fast Five #31, we’re back to the chaos you know and tolerate — five beers, five movie pitches, and one vote that decides which unhinged idea gets the full Feature Film treatment next week.Last week, we wrapped up the Muffin trilogy (for now). This week, we’re pitching everything from mystical martial artists to guilty men in chainmail. You’ll hear the five pitches, but only four make it to the vote. The weakest idea gets the axe — forever.So listen close, pick your favorite, and head to Instagram to vote. Let’s see what cinematic monster rises next.This Week’s Beers — What Will They Become?Shaolin Monkey Attack — Will it be a martial arts revenge saga? A sentient monkey uprising? A banana-fueled buddy cop flick?Let It Morph — A sci-fi transformation comedy? A metaphor for puberty gone wrong? A knockoff Power Rangers noir?Limitless Light — Will it be a low-calorie mind control thriller? A cult that worships LEDs? Or a guy who microdoses sunlight?Guilty Knights — A medieval courtroom drama? Chainmail mobsters? Or just horny time-traveling knights with a secret?Double Scoop — Is it a dessert-fueled heist? A dystopian ice cream cloning facility? Or a noir thriller where the cone always cracks?VOTE NOW:Head to Instagram @beermethatmovie and vote for your favorite pitch! The winner becomes next week’s Feature Film.Stay Weird With Us:Voicemail: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieUntappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovieWebsite: https://beermethatmovie.comHashtags:#BeerMeThatMovie #FastFive31 #CraftBeerPodcast #MoviePodcast #WeirdMovieIdeas #VoteToSurvive #ShaolinMonkeyAttack #LetItMorph #GuiltyKnights #LimitlessLight #DoubleScoop #NoAdsJustChaos00:00 - Intro01:21 - Recap: They Don’t Call Me Muffin for Nothing10:43 - BOTW: Be That As It May (Collab Brewers)15:51 - Beer #1: Limitless Light22:23 - Beer #2: Shaolin Monkey Attack28:56 - Beer #3: Double Scoop35:33 - Beer #4: Guilty Knights42:06 - Beer #5: Let It Morph

Five years after liberating the clones and torching the country club, Muffin is back—and this time, she’s not unhinged. She’s undercover.When global elites start disappearing and returning as flawlessly sculpted, emotionally vacant versions of themselves, Muffin trades exotic dance therapy for spywork to uncover the truth. Alongside her mentor Donna (still as sultry as ever), Muffin uncovers a clone replacement scheme orchestrated by a petty, sentient AI named BA Ballstarch.It’s an erotic conspiracy thriller with bellybuttons, backup clones, and USB-devices that need a back door—and it’s all somehow your fault.This Week’s Feature:Beer: They Don’t Call Me Muffin For NothingBrewery: Funktastic Mead and BeerStyle: Sultry. Subversive. Pastry Stout🎧 Connect With Us:Website: beermethatmovie.comInstagram: @beermethatmovieLeave a voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieVote for the next feature next week on IG!00:00 - Intro02:22 - A Feature Film BOTW?!05:32 - Act 1: Disappearances & Donna28:26 - Act 2: Bellybuttons and Ballstarch53:34 - Act 3: Protocol Activated#MuffinProtocol #BeerMeThatMovie #FeatureFilm31 #CloneThriller #SpySatire #EroticEspionage #AIConspiracy #BallstarchIsReal #BellybuttonsMatter #ExoticDanceTherapistPI #PodcastMovie #YouChoseThis

In Fast Five #31, we break the rules and bend the muffin. A brand-new beer inspired by a previous feature film (Muffin on the Backside) just landed on our doorstep — and it’s so damn good we’re throwing out the vote.Next week’s Feature Film will be a Muffin sequel (inspired by the new Muffin beer from Funktastic Meads & Beer), but you get to decide which unhinged continuation we bring to life. Will it be Harrison's erotic clone moon uprising or Jon's political muffin thriller? Head to Instagram and cast your vote before the muffin cools off.We also recap last week’s Feature (Bambi’s Revenge), and oh yeah — we still crank out brand-new movie pitches based on this week’s beers.🍺 This Week’s Beers Become: •Church Music: The Sexy Nun origin story? •Tidal Balance: The moon explodes, Merpeople discovered •Power Nap: Everyone's a cyborg, everyone needs sleep •Doll's Eye: Not the Nanny Cam!!?!?VOTE NOW:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovieChoose the Muffin sequel that will become next week’s Feature Film!Stay Weird With Us: •Voicemail: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie •Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie •Website: https://beermethatmovie.com#BeerMeThatMovie #FastFive31 #MuffinOnTheBackside #MuffinSequel #CraftBeerPodcast #MoviePodcast #WeirdMovieIdeas #FeatureFilmVoting #CloneSaga #BambisRevenge #NoAdsJustChaos00:00 - Intro02:01 - Recap: Bambi’s Revenge09:58 - BOTW: Muffin on the Backside19:26 - Follow BMTM20:29 - Beer #1 - Church Music29:21 - Beer #2: Tidal Balance36:46 - Beer #3: Power Nap42:00 - Beer #4: Dolls Eye47:48 - Beer#5 (The Prologue)49:57 - Beer#5 (Backstory)51:04 - Pitch #1: Muffin Rises59:08 - Pitch #2: The Muffin Protocol

When pollution poisons the forest and developers bulldoze his home, Bambi doesn’t just mourn—he mutates. With a chain-smoking Thumper, a stitched-on trigger finger, and a hunger for vengeance, this isn’t your childhood deer. It’s nature’s R-rated revenge fantasy, and no one is safe from the wrath of Bambi’s Revenge.Listener Greg dropped this banger in our Fast Five comments, and thanks to your votes (and some close competition from Grannies Gone Wild), it clawed its way to the Feature Film spotlight.Subscribe, leave a review, and tune in next week when we launch a new Fast Five with a very special beer—possibly involving clones, sand, and questionable ethics.00:00 - Intro02:32 - A Message From Greg07:17 - A Bambi History Lesson13:04 - Act 1: The Blood Begins In Spring31:46 - Act 2: Operation Bambo49:19 - Act 3: A Son for a Mom🗳️ Want to vote on the next Feature Film?beermethatmovie.comIG: @beermethatmovieVote in the Instagram story poll next Wednesday!#BambisRevenge #BeerMeThatMovie #FeatureFilm30 #EcoHorror #ForestJustice #ThumperGoesHard #RamboDeer #NatureStrikesBack #HorrorComedy #BeerPodcast #SatireCinema #ListenerChoice #NoAdsJustMovies

In our 30th Fast Five, the listeners came out SWINGING. We’ve got grannies with grenades, deer with trauma, and a secret knock that opens way more than doors. Join Jon and Harrison as they turn four wild listener-submitted beers (plus one mystery pick from Harrison) into the kind of movie ideas that should absolutely not be greenlit — but we’ll try anyway.🍺 The Beers & The Madness:•Bambi’s Revenge (Submitted by Greg) — A genetically enhanced deer leads a woodland militia against mankind in a post-apocalyptic eco-war.•Too Kind (Submitted by Brian) — In a town where niceness is mandatory, one man resists… and ends up on the wrong side of the casserole cartel.•Secret Knock (Submitted by Lance) — A haunted basement door, a forbidden rhythm, and a town full of cultists who really like… knocking.•Grannies Gone Wild (Submitted by Rhett) — When a retirement home is gentrified by tech bros, four grannies go full vigilante and livestream the revolution.•Untappd Find... Tune in to find out what makes the fifth beer totally unhinged, or even a prequel for a previous film idea.Like what you hear? You might need help. 📲 GO VOTE for your favorite pitch on Instagram @beermethatmovie and help decide which of these gets the Feature Film treatment.🔗 Stay Weird With Us: •Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie •Untappd: untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie •Instagram / TikTok / Bluesky: @beermethatmovie •Website: beermethatmovie.com00:00:00 - Intro00:01:45 - Recap: Giggle Water00:11:35 - BOTW: Dive Beer00:18:31 - Beer 1: Bambi’s Revenge00:30:15 - Beer 2: Too Kind00:42:08 - Beer 3: Secret Knock00:50:38 - Beer 4: Grannies Gone Wild00:57:35 - Beer 5: Frost Hammer01:03:15 - Deciding on the Vote01:06:35 - Outtakes