What You Do

Breakfast at Denny’s apparently comes with an unwanted side of sausage, and what wedding moment screamed the couple isn’t going to last? Plus, the cost of owning a car is exploding, and golf cart crashes are rampant in Florida. Did you know camels have beauty pageants? And camels cheating is rampant. If you want a clean airline seat, you’re going to have to pay for it. Hey guys, there’s a new thing called Baldmaxx, and some men are loving it, plus Cracker Barrel has seen better days and they clearly don’t know how to fix it. Ladies, what’s the one thing you wish guys would stop doing, plus, I give you the best and worst states for women. Britney Spears has seen better days, and her family is worried, plus have you heard of the friendship shelf theory? It’s stupid and so is this show.

Would you drink water from your toilet bowl? Many people are lining up to do exactly that. I give you the most annoying traits of a backseat driver, and a naked man stole an ambulance and there was a patient on the gurney in the back, who wasn’t naked. Fan voting is under way for the rock and roll hall of fame and I give you the top 5 so far, and details on a delivery robot who goes rogue and tears up parts of a neighborhood. A guy won the lottery using the birthday numbers from members of his family, and those family members want him to share the money with them, and he said nope. What’s something you judged people for until it happened to you, and some women are cleaning their panties in the coffee makers in hotel rooms, and yes, you heard that right. What’s a decision you made in ten seconds that changed your life, plus a man burned his house down trying to kill spiders, which certainly did the job. And lastly, a woman has reappeared after going missing for 24 years, and she doesn’t want anything to do with her family. Ah yes, it’s great to be alive.

A woman is in jail because she beaned her husband with a jar of pickles, along with a teacher who is in jail because she threw her shoe at a student, which I assume you’re not supposed to do. Behold, the laundry folding robot, not to be outdone by the family cat who added something special to the pot of dinner soup. Five reasons to never live with a guy, yet they say we should go to bed at the same time as our spouse. It appears Viagra does a lot more than just make your penis hard, and in an unrelated story, Vegas is dying, and trying desperately to stay alive. I give you a new way to dine out, and it’s illegal, plus a woman who was ghosted one too many times, and you might enjoy how she got her revenge. Bring on the flying car and the video gaming business is booming. Hey guys, how would you like to be a lot taller? It’s going to cost you, plus driverless trucks are here, whether you like it or not. What made you walk out on a date, and is Reese’s Cups going cheap with ingredients? Plus, your grip can tell you how long you will live. I give you all this information, and it’s free.

The top 5 Valentines gifts that women didn’t want to receive, and scientists are warning not to have sex in space, so don’t. Have you ever texted someone while having sex? Well college students are, and do you and your spouse engage in temperature wars? I’ll explain that. What’s something everybody romanticizes, but in truth is terrible, and which country celebrates the fact that their women have the biggest breasts? A woman was trapped in a car wash for over an hour, and have you ever heard of the new sport called body slamming? You won’t believe it. They found a massive fatberg in Australia, so you’ll have to listen to find out what a fatberg is. I give you the top 5 greatest cover songs, and I give you a Japanese baseball star is about to sign with the Chicago White Sox, but he’s demanding a bidet in the locker room. Which cities in the US are labeled as inauthentic, and just note, if the toilet don’t flush, the plane don’t fly. Be warned, you may have trouble learning what a Wisconsin woman was arrested for. She even had her pants down, and it still wasn’t hot, like at all.

A Massachusetts man got rid of the snow on his roof with a blowtorch; things didn’t go well. Keeping financial secrets inside a marriage is as bad as physical cheating, and if you live in France, you no longer have to have sex with your spouse, and that’s a law. A dude wanted to lose 200 pounds, so he locked himself inside his bedroom for a year, and we’ve just discovered, it’s a bad idea to crack your neck with your hand, and I mean really bad. The top 10 greatest guitarists of all time have been named, and some of you won’t like it. I’ll show you how much we love our dogs, and you can now declutter your home using the 20 20 rule. The crazy shit rich people do to entertain themselves, and a man is in jail because he threw a ketchup packet at a guy. An airline passenger stripped down to his underwear mid-flight and demanded they let him off the plane. Apparently, Long distance relationships are all the rage, and bingo is back in a big way, plus it’s another Saturday night, so guess what they found inside a guy’s butt. It’s a blast!

A Florida teen attacked his mother with a pork chop, plus I give you the top 5 most hated teams in sports. Most everything you need to know about the Super Bowl and Americans are fatter than we have ever been in our history; how great is that? We will all learn what “house hushing” is, plus a man drove his car for several miles, all while his car was literally on fire. Apparently, Armageddon has never been closer, and Chucky Cheese takes a plea deal. What’s a normal thing for most people that secretly freaks you out, and you won’t believe what a kid shoved up his nose. A Florida man had sex with his vacuum cleaner in full view of other people! So, what else is new? Hop aboard.

There was a food fight on an airplane, and shit got ugly. A lady is dating identical twins and they’re living together. Have you burped your home yet? I’ll explain that. We have the top 5 most promiscuous countries, and the US ain’t one of them. How much are SuperBowl tickets, and you’ll be surprised to hear that most of us live in a world of sticky notes. I know I do. In the event that you’re into it, I give you the strongest beer ever. Would you climb inside a remote-controlled rental car? I give you scientific breaking news, cows are learning how to use tools. There’s a rabbit hopping in cars with people just because he wants to, and a coyote swam all the way to Alcatraz… we don’t know why. What’s the dumbest house rule you and your spouse made, plus, what are the top trending hobbies currently? We sample a brand-new Def Leppard song, plus, a woman has been forced by the courts to apologize to her cheating husband and she doesn’t seem pleased. I give you the fun fact of the day. Truth is, you have nothing better to do, so hop on board.

A flock of sheep invade a grocery store looking for acorns, like most of us do, and speaking of critters, squirrels can always find their nuts, and I’ll let that statement speak for itself. A woman was stopped for speeding at 3am and she was completely butt-ass naked, plus, a man tried to rob a grocery store and HE was also completely naked; and those two stories are unrelated. What NFL fans are the drunkest at games, and is drinking wine good for you? Which US states are the most people moving away from, and where are they going? A woman set fire to her boyfriend’s clothes in her fireplace and burned down 13 apartments in the process, which is never good. Working out can become an addiction, and it’s another story of a guy who woke up from surgery speaking perfect Spanish, and he doesn’t speak Spanish. All fun stories of our goofy, yet interesting world.

Expensive weddings aren’t worth it; many of them end in divorce. If you’re going to cheat on your spouse, don’t go to a restaurant where they have surveillance cameras…DUH! A fortune teller couldn’t foresee his own arrest, and space junk is causing us problems in more ways than you know. Your thinking of plastic surgery? Guess where the filler they use comes from? You want to test the strength of your new relationship? Take a week-long trip together; it will show you things you will wish you hadn’t seen. The top 5 careers that will age you, and what is something you slowly stop caring about as you get older? Scrolling on your phone has become a bad habit, and we’ve got ways to help you ease back on that. A real live mermaid is now in jail thank God, and beware of the mail man, but you knew that.

Next time you see a piggy bank at a Goodwill store, buy it! Tara Reid’s claim that someone spiked her drink doesn’t make any sense. Pickleball has taken over America, and I give you the unhappiest workers in the country and where they live. What jobs are harder than most people think, and details on the latest concept is that a college degree simply isn’t worth the money or the time. An 86-year-old man got a ticket for spitting, plus the latest in airlines is they are thinking of putting seats in the wings of the plane, and I’m not kidding. If you steal a car and then abandon it, make sure to get all your shit out of it before you leave it. A man paid crazy money for the Ohtani home run ball, and a guy was sitting in the waiting area to board his plane when he caught on fire. A company was sending out end of the year bonuses when they accidentally sent one employee a check for $87,000 dollars, and the employee refuses to give it back. We share a list of all the items that were pulled out of people’s asses in 2025, which is a great way to END things. See what I did there? We take a look at what the year ahead of us might bring, plus a good round of songs I’m embarrassed to admit that I love, and we take a quick look at wildcard weekend. Don’t judge…I’m old!

Along with the usual Christmas show shenanigans, I also give you the top 5 movies of the year, and Time magazine has chosen the 2025 person of the year, and it’s not me. There’s a new piece of Star Wars memorabilia that sold for a record 3.875 million, and a woman gives birth in a driverless car. How many days should a guest stay in your house during the holidays before the place starts to smell, and we deal with Christmas songs that are controversial. An only fans lady may go to jail for having sex with most anyone in her bang bus, plus TSA announces you will be charged a fine if you don’t have the real ID. There is a new number one name for boys in America, and after this next story, you’ll think twice about ordering food delivered to your home. And we wrap up the year with a story you won’t believe, and it has to do with a woman’s ear. It’s time for me to tickle your mistletoe!

Parents are opting out of taking their kids to see Santa, and what’s up with Tara Reid? A California man discovered that a bear was living under his kitchen, and it wasn’t a rent share situation. I give you the best places to have a white Christmas, and one mother is charging each family member for their Christmas dinner, and I don’t think that announcement landed well. A raccoon now knows what a hangover is all about, and Christmas in New York isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Christmas bonuses are a thing of the past and you never know where your food has been when you order it delivered to your home. These women on only fans will do most anything for their paying customers, including going to jail. It’s so festive in here you can almost feel it, so let’s do it. NO, not that!

We move closer to Christmas with a good December show to get you in the mood. For example, a guy was arrested for showing his naughty bits to oncoming traffic. What are women thinking about while having sex? Turns out it’s not me. I give you a surefire way to improve your dating life, guaranteed! You may have heard, people find snakes in their bedroom quite often, but not one this big. Tips on how to survive traveling with your kids during the holidays, and things not to do while flying during the holidays. Apparently, we’re not supposed to forget the butter when holiday cooking, yet folks are reporting they’re spending much less for the holidays. Have you ever stolen anything from a hotel room? Plus, everything you need to know in order to survive your holiday hangover. Men are drifting away from dating all together, and I’ll tell you why. This may cause you concern because Robo taxies are on the freeways now. Plus, I give you the mother of all scams… literally! I’m inviting you to start your holidays with me, so let’s bring in December together.

Astronauts will soon be eating food made from their own urine, and I’m not kidding. Bob Ross original paintings have sold for big money, and good news if you’re bald, someone thinks they’ve figured it out. Have you tried the Scandinavian sleep method? Me either, but it seems to make sense. Why are there kangaroos in the road, and how did they get there. Have you ever cried at work? You may be surprised how many have. You ever been pissed off at the supermarket? Hopefully you didn’t do what this person did. Elton John threw another bitch fit in front of everybody back stage at a show, and is a forehead kiss the sign of a breakup? A woman was driving 107 mph because she had to get to the pizza place before they closed. It’s hard to believe what a guy will do to get out of going to the mall with his wife, but I support him. Plus, I give you tips on how to survive Thanksgiving. Join us and gobble it up.

It’s not against the law to throw a sandwich at someone, judge said, and some people are spending hours in their shower but experts are saying you shouldn’t do that. We venture into the world of Cool Stories In Music, and what is a rule society follows that makes no sense to you? And allow me to introduce you to the world’s longest married couple. Tom Brady had his long-lost favorite dog cloned by a company that he himself owns. Is that legal? I give you the top eight favorite sandwiches and that should make your day, plus, what’s something you wish your partner would do without you asking them to? Here’s a shocker; cash money is close to coming to an end. The divorce rate is at its all-time lowest and so is getting married. And my favorite, a superior court judge took a piss outside in full view of the public, and that judge is a female! The world can be a beautiful place.

A guy stood up a date so she set his house on fire, and a naked guy ran through Walmart and yes drugs were involved. How odd. Your local movie theater has never been in this bad of shape, and guess which city has the most rats? It ain’t New York. A Florida teacher showed up to class high on cocaine and it got worse from there, plus if you marry on a holiday, your marriage is cursed. Shit got weird at an Illinois McDonalds and gun play was involved, and even worse, a guy willingly paid alimony for his cats, and he was fine with it. A guy was eating a bag of Doritos and the cops were alerted, and that’s not a joke, plus a guy destroyed eighty pumpkins for no reason and yes, it was in Florida. 70-year-old Kelsey Grammer just had his 8th kid with his 4th wife, plus Kim Kardashian thinks the moon landing was a hoax. Cows apparently love jazz music and give more milk and finally, 21 monkeys are on the loose, so beware! Its amazing how shit gets stranger every week. How can that be?

Today, the scary is everywhere! A man threw his own funeral and he wasn’t dead, plus a blind man in Italy received state benefits for 50 years, problem for him is that he wasn’t actually blind. A restaurant in Washington has a strict no phones policy, and people are loving it. Something appears to be up with Britney Spears and it doesn’t seem good. Francis Ford Coppola is broke, as in no money, and AI could soon be assisting NFL refs. Early to bed and early to rise isn’t necessarily a good thing, and as odd as it may sound, people are being warned they shouldn’t lick the toads. Three women were arrested because their underwear had $650,000 worth of gold in them, and Valentine’s Day is not the loneliest day of the year for singles; Halloween is! Today is our Halloween Spooktacular and it’s a complete waste of your time. That I promise.

Cops brought an end to one man’s violence by serving him Dairy Queen, and celebrities are up in arms about a gas station dinosaur. Delivery people are stealing merch left and right, and Americans are feeling really good about marijuana. Nasa is planning to build livable quarters on the moon with material already found up there. What would you do if a workmate hugged you every time they see you? Heidi Klum has boob hair, and proud of it, and a gorilla slammed into a glass viewing wall and cracked it. What TV show never had a bad season, and young and old people are now renting homes together. I give you the latest on Halloween this season, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised how a former stripper is now making a living. Hey, we all have to make a living some way! Hop aboard.

The best man at a wedding was never told he shouldn’t shoot anyone, and be careful of chat GPT; it apparently remembers what you talk about. What’s a skill everybody should learn, and how much do you think you need to retire? You may be shocked. Would you like to skip heavy traffic? Can you say flying taxis? A cow showed up in the median of a busy freeway, and no one can figure out how he got there. People are no longer hooking up for sexy romps, and the reason is a clear sign of the times. The color of your car may be attracting birds to take a dump on it, plus learn how not to decorate your house for Halloween. Scientists have woken something up that’s been sleeping for forty thousand years. That doesn’t seem like the best idea, does it? Plus, an alligator walked into a bar, and yes, it was in Florida. We’re clearly busy today, so let’s get started.

The world’s largest great white shark breezed past swimmers in North Carolina, and a couple decides to divorce because their dog and cat couldn’t get along. I can clearly see that! JK Rowling is pissed off at Emma Watson, and lets her have it on social media, plus a guy was arrested doing 107 mph because he had to get to his barber appointment, which makes complete sense. You want to sell your fingernail clippings? Because China is buying, and I’m all in. Americans are cooling it on college saying it’s a waste of time and money, and Halloween is in trouble because Americans are saying it’s too expensive. I say pick one. And what are the best candies to hand out on Halloween? PETA is calling for a teacher to resign because of what she did to a new born kitten in front of her class, and that one is hard to hear. Florida comes through in a big way with a guy who presents a live alligator in court as his attorney. The crazies are clearly here, and that includes me.