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The Angry Therapist Podcast
The Angry Therapist Podcast
Author: The Angry Therapist
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© 2024
Description
Audio-Only Episodes. Captain’s Log: No guests. No fluff. Just me, the mic, and whatever’s clawing at my insides. Think audio journaling meets back-of-the-bar confessions. Less psychobabble, more soul bleed. Raw, real, and mostly for me.
Audio + Video Episodes. You ask, I riff. Therapy meets real talk. More structure, more insight, more of the good stuff on love, dating, and tools we need to build a healthy relationship. Awesome guests. Less navel-gazing, more crowd-serving. This one’s for you.
929 Episodes
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This episode is about the parts of ourselves we don’t easily name.
In Part 2, we explore unspoken hurt, projection, scarcity, envy, anger, and intimacy — and how these experiences shape the way we show up in relationships and in our work.
We talk honestly about using productivity and helping others as a shield, the lingering fear that success doesn’t erase, and the protective parts we built long ago that may no longer serve us.
This is not about fixing yourself. It’s about recognizing what’s actually running the room.
A conversation for anyone willing to sit with truth — even when it’s uncomfortable.
Follow Lair Torrent on Instagram HERE
Buy Lair's book The Practice of Love HERE
Lair's Website HERE
In Bloom Summit HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
This episode is about what happens when we slow down and ask the questions that don’t come with neat answers.
In an honest and reflective conversation, we explore the inner world behind the therapist’s role — the places where healing is still unfolding, emotions are still complicated, and vulnerability still matters.
We talk about being seen in relationship, struggling with sadness and anger, the pull between authenticity and edge, and how early experiences shape the way we show up in life, love, and work.
This isn’t a lesson. It’s a conversation.
A reminder that healing doesn’t require perfection — only presence, honesty, and a willingness to stay with what’s real.
If you’re on your own journey of self-understanding, this episode meets you there.
Follow Lair Torrent on Instagram HERE
Buy Lair's book The Practice of Love HERE
Lair's Website HERE
In Bloom Summit HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this episode of Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy, we sit down with the questions people are often too afraid to ask out loud — the ones about love, loss, sex, shame, attachment, boredom, longing, and the quiet fear that maybe something is wrong with us.
From wondering why “healthy love” feels boring after toxicity… to grieving a breakup someone else moved on from too quickly… to asking how often long-term couples should be intimate… to questioning why we attract emotionally unavailable partners… to the messy, human moments around sex, desire, loneliness, and readiness.
These are the things we carry alone. This episode sets them down in the open.
Why This Episode Matters
These aren't just questions — they’re emotional crossroads.Most people bring them into therapy last, if ever.But naming them is the beginning of healing, clarity, and choosing differently.
Perfect For You If…
You’re in a season of confusion about love or relationships
You’re healing from a breakup
You’re dating but frustrated by your patterns
You want a healthier relationship with intimacy and connection
You’re afraid to ask the questions that matter most
Listen Now
Every question in this episode is a doorway. Step through.
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this module, we explore why healthy love can feel unfamiliar — even uncomfortable — when your nervous system is used to chaos or stress. You’ll learn how your brain adapts to emotional environments, why joy can feel out of reach, and how tiny moments of safety can transform your entire relational world.
What you’ll learn:
Why calm love can initially feel “flat”
How repetition compulsion shows up in attraction
The neuroscience behind your default mode network
Why joy can feel unsafe — and how to rebuild access to it
How tiny daily joys create enormous emotional change
The difference between excitement and emotional intensity
How to build a relationship that feels grounded, stable, and deeply connected
This module is all about expanding your capacity for joy, hope, and relational peace — one small moment at a time.
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Follow Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald on Instagram HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this module of the video course, we explore why we repeat the same relationship patterns — even when we know they’re not good for us — and how understanding your emotional wiring can shift everything.
You’ll learn:
Why familiar relationships feel magnetic (even when they hurt)
How early belonging shapes adult attraction
The difference between healthy excitement and chaos
How to navigate triggers with someone instead of alone
Why healing happens in relationship, not isolation
How to rewire your patterns with compassion instead of shame
This episode is a reminder that your patterns aren’t failures — they’re information. And once you understand them, you can create the relationships you’ve always deserved.
Follow Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald on Instagram HERE
The Secure Self course is available HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In Part Two of this powerful conversation, John Kim and Shaka Senghor go even deeper into healing, alignment, and the spiritual mechanics of change.
Shaka opens up about:
How alignment shapes everything you attract
What manifestation really is — and what it’s not
Moving from shame into self-respect
How imagination kept him alive in solitary confinement
Daily practices that cultivate grace, joy, and hope
The mindset shift that frees you from a lifetime of emotional prisons
Why abundance begins with noticing the smallest moments
This episode is the invitation to your next chapter. A conversation about energy, intention, and the quiet decisions that build a new life.
📘 Get Shaka’s book ‘How to Be Free’ HERE
📲 Follow Shaka Senghor on Instagram HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this uplifting and deeply human conversation, John Kim sits with bestselling author and speaker Shaka Senghor to explore healing, forgiveness, purpose, and the power of rewriting your story.
Shaka shares:
What it meant to write a letter to his mother after decades
The journey from incarceration to inner transformation
How forgiveness liberated him more than anger ever could
What manifestation really means: alignment, intention, and showing up
How shame, grief, and vulnerability shape our healing
Why imagination is a life-saving tool
The surprising gift of human connection — even in solitary confinement
If you need inspiration, hope, or a reminder that change is possible, this episode is for you.
📘 Get Shaka’s book ‘How to Be Free’ HERE
📲 Follow Shaka Senghor on Instagram HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this episode, we explore the questions people are often afraid to ask out loud — the confusing, intimate, and deeply human moments that shape our relationships. From wondering if you’ve ever truly been in love, to navigating sticky boundaries, to deciding whether to stay or leave… we’re going there.
We grouped your questions into three core themes to make the conversation grounded, digestible, and honest.
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
This episode is an excerpt from our video course module on understanding trauma and the nervous system.
In it, we break down trauma in a way that finally makes sense.
You’ll learn why trauma isn’t about the “big event,” but about unbearable emotional experiences without a relational home — and why your brain responds exactly the way it does.
Follow Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald on Instagram HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
This episode brings together members of John Kim’s Single on Purpose coaching team for an unfiltered, deeply human conversation about what happened when the SOP community was suddenly closed.
These are therapists, coaches, and facilitators — doing therapy on each other — exploring the activation, the grief, the meaning, and the unexpected wounds that surfaced.
You’ll hear them talk about:
What SOP meant to them personally and professionally
The abrupt ending and why it hit so hard
Abandonment wounds, leadership, and rupture-repair
The magic of the community they built together
Why therapists are human, vulnerable, and messy too
What they’re taking with them into the next chapter
Whether you were part of SOP, or you’re experiencing your own ending, transition, or rupture — this conversation will land.
CONNECT WITH THE COACHES:
Sean Cardinalli
Instagram: @seancardinalli https://www.instagram.com/seancardinalli/
Medium: https://seancardinalli.medium.com/
Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/1388439
Linktree: https://campsite.to/seancardinalli
Mikey Brackett
Instagram: @mikey.brackett
Email: mikeybrackett@me.com
Therapy website: https://mikeybtherapy.com
Coaching website: https://mikeybrackett.com
Madeleine Downey
IG (info/coaching/counselling): @madeleinedowney
Substack: https://madeleinedowney.substack.com (It’s Giving Alchemy)
Shadow Work Group – Inner Compass Collective:
https://inner-compass-collective.circle.so/
Email: Madeleine@vanessabennett.com
Amy Brown
Website: AmyBrown.Online
IG: CoachingWithAmyBrown
Email: Amy@MINDmgt.com
Taune Lyons
Taunelyons.com - therapy & somatic experiencing
Comingtooursenses.substack.com
Coming to our senses podcast - Spotify & apple
IG: Taunelyons
Inner compass academy for classes on depth and somatic inner parenting
Taune@taunelyons.com
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here. https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this module of the video course, we explore what really happens inside relationships when two people are trying — and struggling — to grow.
We talk about emotional language, repair, anger, shutdown, nervous-system responses, and what it means to feel safe with someone for the first time.
Whether you’re navigating conflict, trying to understand your partner better, or learning how to show up with more emotional maturity… this episode will help you understand what’s underneath the reactions you keep getting stuck in.
LINKS:
🔗 Secure Self Video Course — transform how you communicate, repair, and connect HERE
👉 Apply to Inner Compass Academy HERE
👉 Follow Vanessa on Instagram HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this raw, unfiltered reflection, John shares the real story behind going rogue as a therapist — from coffee-shop sessions to walk-and-talks, to breaking every rule therapy school ever taught him.
He explores the lifelong pattern of exchanging truth for membership, the fear of being seen, and the moment one client validated everything he was terrified to try.
This episode dives into authenticity, boundaries, regret, responsibility, and what it really means to help people while staying human yourself.
Key Themes & Takeaways:
Why authenticity often feels like rebellion
The moment validation becomes a catalyst
The battle between honesty and belonging
The emotional cost of doing therapy differently
The blurry line between helping and harming
The evolving role of therapists in a social media world
Why growth is abstract, nonlinear, and deeply personal
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In today’s Q&A, we get into the real questions people ask when they’re standing at the edge of a relationship crossroads. When you’re torn between fear and intuition… when the attraction feels off… when you’re trying to communicate your way through a situationship… when you’re healing but also craving connection… when you don’t know if you’re choosing someone, settling for someone, or staying because it feels safer than leaving.
These are the moments where the truth gets loud — if you’re willing to listen.
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Full Video Course HERE
All modules, worksheets, and bonus sessions. This video compiles key moments from the second core module from our relationship course - "How to Fight Without Fighting"
You'll learn:
Why repair looks completely different for each partner
How to ask for (and give) permission to reopen old conversations
What to do when you still feel hurt but your partner has “moved on”
The moment he realized he was wrong — and how that changed everything
Why fights are often bids for connection, not battles
How childhood patterns shape how we handle conflict as adults
What healthy masculine containment looks like in emotional moments
How to rebuild trust after a rupture
What apology, accountability, and understanding truly require
This episode is about the messy, human, honest side of relationships — and the courage it takes to repair in a way that actually heals.
🔗 Resources & Links
👉 Apply to Inner Compass Academy HERE
👉 Follow Vanessa on Instagram HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this raw, unfiltered conversation, John & Vanessa reveal the emotional, financial, and spiritual journey of entering — and surviving — the mental health world. From burnout and red tape to awakening and purpose, this episode exposes the hidden side of the therapist pipeline and why so many helpers feel lost, exhausted, or misled.
They share:
Their completely different grad-school experiences
The “breadcrumb theory” for finding your path
Why the therapist licensing system burns people out
What no one tells you about the 3,000-hour internship
The dangers of the unregulated coaching world
How Inner Compass Academy was born
A new model for training helpers with soul and depth
If you’re curious about becoming a therapist, coach, or spaceholder — or you’ve been through the fire yourself — this episode will hit home.
🔗 Resources & Links
👉 Apply to Inner Compass Academy HERE
👉 Follow Vanessa on Instagram HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
🎓 Full video course: HERE
All modules, worksheets, and bonus sessions. This video compiles key moments from two core modules from our relationship course:
Module 1 — The 12 Principles: a practical framework for secure-functioning relationships. These aren’t rules to follow perfectly - they’re principles that guide how you show up when things get hard. The real, messy, human version of healthy love where two people choose growth over perfection.
Module 2 — How to Fight Without Fighting: conflict isn’t the enemy; how we handle it is. You’ll learn tools that don’t require perfection, just presence — the kind that create safety instead of defensiveness so disagreements become connection-builders, not breakup fuel.
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
At 52, John realizes how often we trade our truth for “membership” - relationships, status, the idea of success - and quietly disappear. From a house fire to shaving his head, he reframes love, loss, and identity, arguing that real growth demands new lenses, not old fantasies.
What You’ll Learn:
Why exchanging your truth for acceptance makes you lukewarm
“Corrective love” vs replaying the past’s highlight reel
How healthy love both confronts and delights
Impermanence as a doorway to gratitude (everything can vanish)
Reinvention at any age: new lenses → new life
Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Rapid-fire answers to your biggest honesty hurdles: settling vs.
standards, dating vs. marriage mindset, online dating that respects your time, inviting more sex without pressure, and handling rejection like a grown-up. Short, practical, and therapist-backed.
Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this part 3 of our Attachment series, therapist Rebecca Prolman joins John Kim to unpack how childhood misattunement wires shame, why anger isn’t the enemy, and how “emotional completion” helps you reclaim the parts you exiled to survive. They explore corrective relationships (why real safety can feel scary), co-regulation for kids, and practical steps to move from fawning to sovereignty.
Key topics & takeaways:
Shame as a survival strategy that blocks primary emotions (grief/anger)
Emotional completion: feeling what shame protected so it can release
Co-regulation vs. punishment/time-outs for children’s anger
Corrective relationships: safety, grief, and why “boring” can be secure
Depth sustains attraction; chemistry alone burns out
Naming early ruptures without making caregivers “villains”
Methods mentioned: NARM — Neuro-Affective Relational Model (Dr. Laurence Heller ).
Resources (as mentioned by Rebecca):
Try Rebecca’s mini course if you’re new to this work; consider the 5-module course for deeper practice HERE
Parts 1 HERE & Part 2 of this series HERE
🔗 Follow Rebecca Prolman
Instagram | TikTok | YouTube → @rebeccaprolman
Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
John Kim and Rebecca Prolman unpack how childhood attachment wounds and the shame-based adaptations they create - shape adult relationships. They trace core capacities (connection, attunement, trust, autonomy, love/sexuality) and show how co-regulation and healthy boundaries restore intimacy and desire.
Resources mentioned:
NARM (NeuroAffective Relational Model) framework and a 5-module course by Rebecca you can find HERE
Part 1 of this series HERE
🔗 Follow Rebecca Prolman
Instagram | TikTok | YouTube → @rebeccaprolman
Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
























Seeking comfort from old haunts seems appropriate and comforting. I live in a place far from where I grew up, and there aren't a lot of places I used to go here. it's all kinda new. still, I remember little things like small conversations I had with cashiers or local patrons. little events at places like the park with a friend and their kids. the small things matter a lot now that there is not a lot of things from the past.
The wife was cringe to me and the husband passive asl
Not sure what my opinions on his wife are. I don’t trust her haha.
First half horrible advice
First 6 minutes is pure garbage you'll finally got on topic after
I've been a psychologist for over 15 years and I find John Kim incredibly helpful, both personally and professionally. This episode is totally on point. Couldn't have said it better myself. 😎
My second daughter is 11 weeks right now as I'm listening to this. Her sweet sounds are warming my heart. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and appreciation. Congrats to you and Vanessa! I look forward to more posts relating to sweet Logan. My girls are also half Asian!
What sleep program did you use??? Desperate have an 18 month old we've tried programs so far! Or if you can let me know what you did! thank you in advance!!
“Stop digesting content and start putting it to practice”. Was you speaking directly to me in that one?
I think you have explained the difference between self-care and self-comfort when your describing your vision board. Thanks for the insight on how to get started.
"ohn Kim (The Angry Therapist) is doing things differently. Therapy in a shot glass. Ten minutes, no filler." your name got messed up in the description
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Putting thoughts into words is definitely the most difficult thing to do. And you make it sound so easy. Thank you 🙂
I'm 42. I decided not to have kids but in saying that I'm a late developer and only finishing my hons degree this year. best of luck . stay curious about your fucking feelings 👍
This is gold. thank you.