The Angry Therapist Podcast

What if ADHD isn’t just about focus… but about a nervous system stuck in survival mode? Therapist Jennifer Free explains why many ADHD brains are living in chronic fight-or-flight—and why productivity tools like planners and to-do lists often fail. In this episode, Jennifer shares how her own late ADHD diagnosis in graduate school led her to rethink everything she was taught about ADHD treatment. Instead of adding more systems and strategies, she began focusing on nervous system regulation. When the body is dysregulated, executive functioning drops, urgency increases, and people get stuck in a familiar ADHD pattern: on → crash → repeat. Jennifer introduces the concept of “alignment with reality” — learning to match your internal state to what’s actually happening instead of fighting reality with thoughts like “I’m behind” or “there’s not enough time.” We also explore ADHD in women and motherhood, the cultural pressure to constantly produce, and how productivity for productivity’s sake can disconnect us from joy, presence, and the people we care about most. Jennifer shares practical ways to regulate in everyday life, including recognizing signs of dysregulation, slowing the body to signal safety, and identifying the beliefs that keep us stuck in urgency. If you constantly feel rushed, overwhelmed, or trapped by your to-do list, this episode will change how you think about ADHD, productivity, and regulation. 🔗 Guest Links: Book Title: THE SIMPLE GUIDE TO ADHD REGULATION: The Secret to Finding Balance, Getting Things Done, and Enjoying Website: https://www.adhdwithjennafree.com/ TikTok: @adhdwithjennafree ; www.tiktok.com/@adhdwithjennafree Instagram: @adhdwithjennafree ; www.instagram.com/adhdwithjennafree Podcast: ADHD with Jenna Free; https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/adhd-with-jenna-free/id1801356817 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, I walk through my past relationships and take ownership of the ways I’ve been unsafe. I share specific moments - steamrolling my ex-wife with logic instead of empathy, making subtle body comments that landed harder than I understood, ending relationships abruptly, and moving on too quickly after a breakup. At the time, I justified a lot of it. Looking back, I see the impact. I also talk about asking my current partner to tell me how I’ve made her feel unsafe over the past eight years. I held her, promised not to defend myself, and listened. And I cried. This isn’t about shame. It’s about ownership. If you’re a man listening, the question isn’t “Am I a good guy?”It’s: Where have I been unsafe — and what would it mean to do better? 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Most of us were never taught how to communicate in relationships. So we react. We defend. We assume. We build resentment. In this solo episode, John reframes “communication” as something deeper: intimacy, attunement, and repair. Because it’s not the conflict that destroys relationships — it’s the lack of repair. John breaks down how to “fight without fighting,” including: • Trying to understand before trying to be understood • Naming your activation instead of attacking • Taking ownership to create repair • Setting intentional time to practice connection • Using I statements and watching tone • Using touch and body language to soften conflict • Listening while considering your partner’s story Healthy intimacy isn’t chemistry. It’s skill. And every conflict is a chance to break a pattern — or repeat one. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, I answer your questions about breakups, expired relationships, and finding the courage to choose yourself. We talk about how to let go when you’re struggling to accept it’s over, how to know if a relationship is worth saving, and what it really takes to leave. I also break down the real stages of a relationship, advice for your first one, and how to slow yourself down while dating. This one is about self-trust, endings, and learning to stop clinging to what’s already expired. Let’s get into it. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available ⁠HERE⁠ Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A breakup can feel like the end of everything. But what if it’s actually the beginning? In this episode, John shares a deeply personal reflection on fear, identity, divorce, and what relationships are really meant to do in our lives. Inspired by a nostalgic moment listening to “Borderline” by Madonna, he explores how certain songs — and certain people — instantly transport us back to who we were. John challenges the idea that you were supposed to be the hero in someone’s life. Maybe you were the bridge. And maybe they were a bridge for you. He dives into: • Why some relationships are meant to expire • The truth about closure (and why it’s ongoing) • How to stop outsourcing your worth to a partner • The powerful question: Who am I without them? • The difference between your pseudo self and solid self • Why endings are not the opposite of beginnings If you’re going through a breakup — or still carrying residue from one — this episode reframes the pain as instruction. Profound pain carries profound growth. Breakups don’t just take something from you. They expose you to yourself. Key Takeaway Instead of asking why it ended, ask: What was I outsourcing in this relationship that I now need to own? That question alone can change everything. Cultural Note This episode references the song “Borderline” by Madonna as part of a personal reflection. All rights to the song belong to the respective copyright holders. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you tired of just surviving your past, feeling like old wounds dictate your present? Imagine a life where emotional freedom isn't just a dream, but a daily reality. This video isn't about quick fixes; it's about the radical, yet gentle power of consistent habits to transform your deepest hurts into your greatest strengths. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the thing shaping almost every decision you make is happening quietly — without you realizing it? John breaks down a powerful idea from psychologist and Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman: there are two selves at play — the experiencing self (who lives life moment-to-moment) and the remembering self (who tells the story and makes most decisions). When those two don’t agree, you can end up living a life that looks “right” on paper… but still feels empty inside. MENTIONED / LINKS (Daniel Kahneman – Nobel Prize) Nobel Prize profile (2002, Economic Sciences): https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/economic-sciences/2002/kahneman/facts/ Daniel Kahneman (Wikipedia): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Kahneman Thinking, Fast and Slow (book): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thinking,_Fast_and_Slow PRACTICAL TAKEAWAYS (2-QUESTION FILTER) Before a major decision (work, love, moves, commitments), ask: “How does this feel in my body right now?” “When you look back on this in 5 years, will I be glad I did it?” 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, John sits down with therapist Taune for a wide-ranging, honest conversation about the love lessons that shaped them — and the patterns many of us keep repeating without realizing it. They explore how chemistry can masquerade as care, why intensity often feels familiar even when it’s unhealthy, and how relationships quietly shift when attraction turns into caretaking. Along the way, they unpack trauma bonding, attunement, playfulness, power dynamics, and what it really takes to sustain intimacy over time. This is not a neat, list-driven episode. It’s a real conversation — the long way home — filled with reflection, humor, and uncomfortable truths about love, relationships, and self-abandonment. 🔗 Guest Links: IG https://www.instagram.com/taunelyons Substack: https://www.comingtooursenses.substack.com Website: https://www.taunelyons.com 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, John answers listener questions about breakups, emotional cheating, boredom in relationships, scarcity mindset, defensiveness, and what it really means to compromise without abandoning yourself. Why is it harder to let go when things ended “well”? Is emotional cheating still cheating? When do needs become “demands”? And how much space is too much space for an avoidant partner? This episode is about self-respect, emotional safety, and learning how to stay connected without losing yourself. We explore: Running into an ex and how to handle it Letting go after a breakup (especially when it ends abruptly) Scarcity vs. abundance in dating Emotional cheating and betrayal Compromise vs. self-abandonment Defensiveness and where it comes from Boredom in relationships Giving avoidant partners space Conflict over household structure If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re asking for too much — or settling for too little — this one’s for you. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Love doesn’t disappear - it changes. In this episode, John Kim explores the stages of love, from early fantasy to real connection. If you’ve ever questioned the spark, the shift, or the “middle” of a relationship, this will help you understand what’s normal, what’s real, and what’s worth building. This is a conversation about choosing depth over fantasy - and learning what real love actually asks of us. 🎙️ Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

John sits down in Costa Rica (yes, literally in a golf cart) with two therapists — Vanessa Bennett and Madeleine Downey — for a “therapists are humans too” episode built around questions you’d ask in therapy… that end up turning into real-time revelations about identity after 40, emotional safety, and what we stop tolerating once we’ve lived a little. This conversation lands especially hard if you’re in that season of life where you’re asking: Why doesn’t the old version of me fit anymore? and What do I actually want now — in love, in friendship, in myself? Inner Compass Academy (Next cohort starts Feb 15, 2026) Apply Here: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy If you apply, make sure to mention you were referred by The Angry Therapist Podcast - and if you’re approved, you’ll get $100 off. 🔗 Guest Links: Madeleine Downey Instagram: @madeleinedowney Substack (It’s Giving Alchemy): https://madeleinedowney.substack.com Shadow Work Group – Inner Compass Collective: https://inner-compass-collective.circle.so/ Vanessa Bennett Instagram @vanessasbennett Apply to Inner Compass Academy: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy Author of “The Motherhood Myth” Buy the Book Here: https://www.amazon.com/Motherhood-Myth-Reimagining-Expectations-Partnership/dp/1649633416 🎙️ Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many people reach a confusing moment in their healing journey: they start dating healthier partners… and suddenly desire feels flat. Calm feels boring. Chemistry disappears. In this solo episode, John Kim breaks down why this happens - and why it doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” with you.If you’ve ever wondered whether you can rewire attraction without forcing yourself into a relationship that doesn’t feel right, this conversation is for you. 🎙️ Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the hardest part of healing isn’t pain — but joy? John Kim talks with Dr. MC McDonald about grief, intimacy, self-trust, and the quiet ways we hide when connection feels unsafe. MC shares why joy has been the hardest emotion to let in, and how learning to feel safe again changes everything. A grounded, human conversation about healing while still figuring it out. 🔗 Guest Links Dr. MC McDonald Instagram & TikTok: @mc.phd Website: https://www.drmcmcdonald.com 🎙️ Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Some of the hardest questions we bring into therapy aren’t about what happened — they’re about why it hit so deeply. In this episode, we explore the quiet, uncomfortable moments many people struggle to name:the anxiety between dates, the sudden loss of attraction, the grief that feels bigger than a divorce, and the confusion of wanting connection while needing boundaries. These aren’t dramatic relationship crises — they’re quiet inner conflicts that many people carry alone. Naming them is often the first step toward clarity, self-respect, and emotional safety. If any of these questions sound familiar, this episode is for you. Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, John Kim shares a simple moment from the ocean that became a powerful lesson about relationships and emotional repair. While learning to surf in Costa Rica, two very different encounters in the water reveal why ruptures are unavoidable—but repair is everything. One moment of anger leads to disconnection. One moment of acknowledgment leads to instant safety and ease. John also shares details about his upcoming surf retreat in Costa Rica—a space to slow down, regulate the nervous system, build real connection, and experience the healing power of the ocean together. A reminder that the strength of any relationship isn’t measured by how little we rupture—but by how willing we are to repair. 🎙️ Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the problem isn’t that you haven’t found your purpose — but that you’re trying to find something that was never meant to be found? In this episode, John sits down with Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, co-creators of Designing Your Life, to explore a radically relieving idea: There is no final version of you. Instead of chasing meaning, purpose, or fulfillment as a destination, Bill and Dave invite us to see life as a process of becoming — and meaning as something we practice daily, not achieve once. This conversation is for anyone who feels behind, unfinished, or quietly exhausted from trying to “figure life out.” You don’t need a breakthrough. You need a reframe. 🔗 Guest links Website https://designingyour.life/ Join the Designing Your Life Newsletter https://designingyour.life/newsletter/  📚 Featured Book (Mentioned in Episode) ⁠https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/How-to-Live-a-Meaningful-Life/Bill-Burnett/9781668084892 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fullyalive_bydesign/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you find yourself giving more, waiting longer, explaining harder — just to keep love alive? In this episode, John Kim reflects on overgiving, emotional boundaries, and the quiet ways we abandon ourselves in relationships. Recorded in Costa Rica, he uses lessons from surfing to explore why love shouldn’t feel like anxiety, confusion, or constant effort. Inspired by the idea of “Let Them,” this episode offers a necessary reframe: there are some things you simply should not let people do. This is a reminder that protecting your heart isn’t selfish — it’s essential. Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You didn’t marry the wrong person — you’re just in a stage of your relationship. In this episode, John Kim sits down with attachment expert Thais Gibson to break down the six stages of a relationship — and why so many couples get stuck thinking something is “wrong” when nothing is actually broken. We talk about: Why attachment styles are not labels, and how they can be rewired The difference between dating, honeymoon, and the power struggle stage Why most couples struggle after the honeymoon — and how to move forward How early conditioning shapes adult relationships What healthy long-term love actually looks like If relationships have ever felt confusing, discouraging, or overwhelming, this episode gives you language, context, and relief. 🔗 Guest Resources Learn more from Thais Gibson: YouTube: Personal Development School HERE Instagram: @thepersonaldevelopmentschool Courses & Relationship Stages Program HERE 🔗 Host Resources Learn more from John Kim: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Some of the most important questions we carry are the ones we’re afraid to say out loud — even in therapy. In this episode, John answers real, vulnerable questions about self-worth, dating, anger, emotional safety, and long-term relationships. These are the thoughts people whisper to themselves at night, hesitate to bring into the room, or feel ashamed for having at all. This conversation isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about slowing down, telling the truth, and understanding what’s really happening beneath the surface. Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A year ago, on January 7th, my house burned down. This solo episode is a reflection on what that loss revealed — not just about grief, but about meaning, identity, and the quiet permission to live differently in the second half of life. I talk about the difference between a house and a home, what it means to lose community, and why starting over isn’t always a failure — sometimes it’s prescribed. From standing in the ashes of my cul-de-sac to building a slower, more intentional life in Costa Rica, this episode explores how tragedy can become an act break instead of an ending.  This episode is for anyone who feels tired of grinding, restless in their current life, or quietly sensing that the second half deserves a rewrite. You don’t have to burn your life down to change it — but sometimes life lights the match for you. If you listen to this podcast, I’d love to hear from you. Email me your thoughts: theangrytherapist@gmail.com Host Links & Resources: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices