The Angry Therapist Podcast

In this episode, John answers listener questions about breakups, emotional cheating, boredom in relationships, scarcity mindset, defensiveness, and what it really means to compromise without abandoning yourself. Why is it harder to let go when things ended “well”? Is emotional cheating still cheating? When do needs become “demands”? And how much space is too much space for an avoidant partner? This episode is about self-respect, emotional safety, and learning how to stay connected without losing yourself. We explore: Running into an ex and how to handle it Letting go after a breakup (especially when it ends abruptly) Scarcity vs. abundance in dating Emotional cheating and betrayal Compromise vs. self-abandonment Defensiveness and where it comes from Boredom in relationships Giving avoidant partners space Conflict over household structure If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re asking for too much — or settling for too little — this one’s for you. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Love doesn’t disappear - it changes. In this episode, John Kim explores the stages of love, from early fantasy to real connection. If you’ve ever questioned the spark, the shift, or the “middle” of a relationship, this will help you understand what’s normal, what’s real, and what’s worth building. This is a conversation about choosing depth over fantasy - and learning what real love actually asks of us. 🎙️ Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

John sits down in Costa Rica (yes, literally in a golf cart) with two therapists — Vanessa Bennett and Madeleine Downey — for a “therapists are humans too” episode built around questions you’d ask in therapy… that end up turning into real-time revelations about identity after 40, emotional safety, and what we stop tolerating once we’ve lived a little. This conversation lands especially hard if you’re in that season of life where you’re asking: Why doesn’t the old version of me fit anymore? and What do I actually want now — in love, in friendship, in myself? Inner Compass Academy (Next cohort starts Feb 15, 2026) Apply Here: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy If you apply, make sure to mention you were referred by The Angry Therapist Podcast - and if you’re approved, you’ll get $100 off. 🔗 Guest Links: Madeleine Downey Instagram: @madeleinedowney Substack (It’s Giving Alchemy): https://madeleinedowney.substack.com Shadow Work Group – Inner Compass Collective: https://inner-compass-collective.circle.so/ Vanessa Bennett Instagram @vanessasbennett Apply to Inner Compass Academy: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy Author of “The Motherhood Myth” Buy the Book Here: https://www.amazon.com/Motherhood-Myth-Reimagining-Expectations-Partnership/dp/1649633416 🎙️ Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many people reach a confusing moment in their healing journey: they start dating healthier partners… and suddenly desire feels flat. Calm feels boring. Chemistry disappears. In this solo episode, John Kim breaks down why this happens - and why it doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” with you.If you’ve ever wondered whether you can rewire attraction without forcing yourself into a relationship that doesn’t feel right, this conversation is for you. 🎙️ Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the hardest part of healing isn’t pain — but joy? John Kim talks with Dr. MC McDonald about grief, intimacy, self-trust, and the quiet ways we hide when connection feels unsafe. MC shares why joy has been the hardest emotion to let in, and how learning to feel safe again changes everything. A grounded, human conversation about healing while still figuring it out. 🔗 Guest Links Dr. MC McDonald Instagram & TikTok: @mc.phd Website: https://www.drmcmcdonald.com 🎙️ Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Some of the hardest questions we bring into therapy aren’t about what happened — they’re about why it hit so deeply. In this episode, we explore the quiet, uncomfortable moments many people struggle to name:the anxiety between dates, the sudden loss of attraction, the grief that feels bigger than a divorce, and the confusion of wanting connection while needing boundaries. These aren’t dramatic relationship crises — they’re quiet inner conflicts that many people carry alone. Naming them is often the first step toward clarity, self-respect, and emotional safety. If any of these questions sound familiar, this episode is for you. Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, John Kim shares a simple moment from the ocean that became a powerful lesson about relationships and emotional repair. While learning to surf in Costa Rica, two very different encounters in the water reveal why ruptures are unavoidable—but repair is everything. One moment of anger leads to disconnection. One moment of acknowledgment leads to instant safety and ease. John also shares details about his upcoming surf retreat in Costa Rica—a space to slow down, regulate the nervous system, build real connection, and experience the healing power of the ocean together. A reminder that the strength of any relationship isn’t measured by how little we rupture—but by how willing we are to repair. 🎙️ Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the problem isn’t that you haven’t found your purpose — but that you’re trying to find something that was never meant to be found? In this episode, John sits down with Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, co-creators of Designing Your Life, to explore a radically relieving idea: There is no final version of you. Instead of chasing meaning, purpose, or fulfillment as a destination, Bill and Dave invite us to see life as a process of becoming — and meaning as something we practice daily, not achieve once. This conversation is for anyone who feels behind, unfinished, or quietly exhausted from trying to “figure life out.” You don’t need a breakthrough. You need a reframe. 🔗 Guest links Website https://designingyour.life/ Join the Designing Your Life Newsletter https://designingyour.life/newsletter/  📚 Featured Book (Mentioned in Episode) ⁠https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/How-to-Live-a-Meaningful-Life/Bill-Burnett/9781668084892 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fullyalive_bydesign/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you find yourself giving more, waiting longer, explaining harder — just to keep love alive? In this episode, John Kim reflects on overgiving, emotional boundaries, and the quiet ways we abandon ourselves in relationships. Recorded in Costa Rica, he uses lessons from surfing to explore why love shouldn’t feel like anxiety, confusion, or constant effort. Inspired by the idea of “Let Them,” this episode offers a necessary reframe: there are some things you simply should not let people do. This is a reminder that protecting your heart isn’t selfish — it’s essential. Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You didn’t marry the wrong person — you’re just in a stage of your relationship. In this episode, John Kim sits down with attachment expert Thais Gibson to break down the six stages of a relationship — and why so many couples get stuck thinking something is “wrong” when nothing is actually broken. We talk about: Why attachment styles are not labels, and how they can be rewired The difference between dating, honeymoon, and the power struggle stage Why most couples struggle after the honeymoon — and how to move forward How early conditioning shapes adult relationships What healthy long-term love actually looks like If relationships have ever felt confusing, discouraging, or overwhelming, this episode gives you language, context, and relief. 🔗 Guest Resources Learn more from Thais Gibson: YouTube: Personal Development School HERE Instagram: @thepersonaldevelopmentschool Courses & Relationship Stages Program HERE 🔗 Host Resources Learn more from John Kim: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Some of the most important questions we carry are the ones we’re afraid to say out loud — even in therapy. In this episode, John answers real, vulnerable questions about self-worth, dating, anger, emotional safety, and long-term relationships. These are the thoughts people whisper to themselves at night, hesitate to bring into the room, or feel ashamed for having at all. This conversation isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about slowing down, telling the truth, and understanding what’s really happening beneath the surface. Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A year ago, on January 7th, my house burned down. This solo episode is a reflection on what that loss revealed — not just about grief, but about meaning, identity, and the quiet permission to live differently in the second half of life. I talk about the difference between a house and a home, what it means to lose community, and why starting over isn’t always a failure — sometimes it’s prescribed. From standing in the ashes of my cul-de-sac to building a slower, more intentional life in Costa Rica, this episode explores how tragedy can become an act break instead of an ending.  This episode is for anyone who feels tired of grinding, restless in their current life, or quietly sensing that the second half deserves a rewrite. You don’t have to burn your life down to change it — but sometimes life lights the match for you. If you listen to this podcast, I’d love to hear from you. Email me your thoughts: theangrytherapist@gmail.com Host Links & Resources: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this reflective, unscripted conversation, John Kim speaks with therapist and yoga teacher Daniel Stewart about consciousness, ego, and authentic living. Daniel shares how a life-altering experience reshaped his relationship with presence, stillness, and inner truth. Together, they explore ego death as a doorway to growth, why slowing down matters, and how conscious awareness transforms the way we live and create. A grounding episode for anyone seeking a more intentional, meaningful life. 🔗 GUEST LINKS Daniel Stewart Website: https://danielstewart.com Yoga Studio: Rising Lotus Yoga — https://risinglotusyoga.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/minstrelion 🎙️ HOST LINKS Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Now that 2026 is here, John Kim shares 12 powerful questions to help you live with more honesty, alignment, and intention this year. This episode isn’t about fixing yourself — it’s about telling the truth. About what feels empty.What you’re tolerating. And what it means to build a life that actually feels honest. A grounding conversation to return to throughout the year. 🌊 Surf Camp + Wellness Retreat HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the video course, we explore one of the most powerful concepts in personal transformation: unlocking your inner code. You’ll learn how your false beliefs, old stories, and disconnected parts of self quietly shape your life — and how to rebuild a stronger, safer inner container that allows you to grow instead of staying stuck. Through storytelling, real-life examples, and practical reflection prompts, John walks you through: What You'll Learn: How false beliefs form and how they silently run your life Why dissolving them requires experience, not just mindset How to reconnect with the parts of you you’ve abandoned over time Why growth is a lifelong reunion with your inner self How to create a life container that supports expansion, confidence, and purpose Reflection Questions What false beliefs are cracking your life container? How are these beliefs rippling into your relationships, work, and self-esteem? What new experience can you give your body to prove the belief wrong? What part of you have you disconnected from? What would it look like to reunite with that version of you? This Episode Is For You If… ✔ You want to break patterns ✔ You want to feel more alive ✔ You’re ready to meet yourself again ✔ You want to grow without self-judgment ✔ You’re doing the work and want deeper tools 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this lesson, we explore how to move from a life shaped by fear, dread, shame, and survival into a life built on joy, creativity, presence, gratitude, and alignment. You’ll learn how to pull yourself out of lower frequencies, design a safe life container, and step into an attracting state — where the right people, opportunities, and experiences naturally find you. This is how you stop forcing your life… and start receiving it. 🌟 What You’ll Learn: What “higher frequencies” actually mean How to pull yourself out of lower emotional states The difference between chasing and attracting Why joy and creativity are powerful frequency shifters How to design a daily environment that supports growth What a “life container” is and why it expands your potential How attraction energy rewrites your relationships and opportunities 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is about the parts of ourselves we don’t easily name. In Part 2, we explore unspoken hurt, projection, scarcity, envy, anger, and intimacy — and how these experiences shape the way we show up in relationships and in our work. We talk honestly about using productivity and helping others as a shield, the lingering fear that success doesn’t erase, and the protective parts we built long ago that may no longer serve us. This is not about fixing yourself. It’s about recognizing what’s actually running the room. A conversation for anyone willing to sit with truth — even when it’s uncomfortable. Follow Lair Torrent on Instagram ⁠HERE⁠ Buy Lair's book The Practice of Love ⁠HERE⁠ Lair's Website ⁠HERE⁠ In Bloom Summit ⁠HERE⁠ 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is about what happens when we slow down and ask the questions that don’t come with neat answers. In an honest and reflective conversation, we explore the inner world behind the therapist’s role — the places where healing is still unfolding, emotions are still complicated, and vulnerability still matters. We talk about being seen in relationship, struggling with sadness and anger, the pull between authenticity and edge, and how early experiences shape the way we show up in life, love, and work. This isn’t a lesson. It’s a conversation. A reminder that healing doesn’t require perfection — only presence, honesty, and a willingness to stay with what’s real. If you’re on your own journey of self-understanding, this episode meets you there. Follow Lair Torrent on Instagram HERE Buy Lair's book The Practice of Love HERE Lair's Website HERE In Bloom Summit HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy, we sit down with the questions people are often too afraid to ask out loud — the ones about love, loss, sex, shame, attachment, boredom, longing, and the quiet fear that maybe something is wrong with us. From wondering why “healthy love” feels boring after toxicity… to grieving a breakup someone else moved on from too quickly… to asking how often long-term couples should be intimate… to questioning why we attract emotionally unavailable partners… to the messy, human moments around sex, desire, loneliness, and readiness. These are the things we carry alone. This episode sets them down in the open. Why This Episode Matters These aren't just questions — they’re emotional crossroads.Most people bring them into therapy last, if ever.But naming them is the beginning of healing, clarity, and choosing differently. Perfect For You If… You’re in a season of confusion about love or relationships You’re healing from a breakup You’re dating but frustrated by your patterns You want a healthier relationship with intimacy and connection You’re afraid to ask the questions that matter most Listen Now Every question in this episode is a doorway. Step through. 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this module, we explore why healthy love can feel unfamiliar — even uncomfortable — when your nervous system is used to chaos or stress. You’ll learn how your brain adapts to emotional environments, why joy can feel out of reach, and how tiny moments of safety can transform your entire relational world. What you’ll learn: Why calm love can initially feel “flat” How repetition compulsion shows up in attraction The neuroscience behind your default mode network Why joy can feel unsafe — and how to rebuild access to it How tiny daily joys create enormous emotional change The difference between excitement and emotional intensity How to build a relationship that feels grounded, stable, and deeply connected This module is all about expanding your capacity for joy, hope, and relational peace — one small moment at a time. If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available ⁠HERE⁠ Follow Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald on Instagram HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices