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Girlscamp
Girlscamp
Author: Hayley Rawle
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I deconstructed my Mormon faith down to the bone—and when my dad died, the deconstruction shit really hit the fan. Now, Girlscamp isn’t just about what’s fallen apart, but about exploring what might come next.
Around the campfire, we’ll swap stories from life after faith shifts, laugh at the quirks of high-demand religion, and dig into the ways Mormonism shows up in our culture—from pop culture and art to media and everyday life. I’ll also sit down with voices ranging from therapists to philosophers to everyday people reimagining belief, as we tackle what it means to live, love, grieve, and grow once certainty is gone.
Honest, curious, and a little irreverent—because that’s what Girlscamp is all about.
194 Episodes
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I’ve been swept up in the energy of the Year of the Fire Horse, but realized I didn’t really know what it was all about. So today we’re deep diving the Chinese zodiac and what this fiery horse year is supposed to bring. I also talk about if (and how) I engage with belief systems like this now that I’m post-religion. Giddy up!
BBC on the Chinese Zodiac race
The YouTube video on time
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Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got David Archuleta! From the pressure of being Mormonism’s golden boy after American Idol to embracing his sexuality and learning to trust himself, David opens up about the long road that led him to step away from Mormonism and into a whole new chapter of life.
David’s book Devout
David on Instagram
David on TikTok
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Round two of your church dating stories is here! I’m equal parts entertained and concerned for all of us. These range from awkward to chaotic to maddening. If you survived church dating culture, you’re among friends here at Girlscamp.
REFERENCES
“What’s REALLY going on at BYU?” podcast
“What’s REALLY going at BYU?” YouTube
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Can you stay Mormon if you don’t actually believe it? Jessica Paige identifies as a secular Mormon and joins me to talk about why she stays, how she defines that label and what it actually looks like to participate in Mormon life without belief.
You can find Jessica on TikTok here.
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Crazy church dating stories incoming! We’re talking condescending Mormon men, purity culture weirdness and the intense marriage focus in high-demand religions. More specifically: Shrek cosplay YouTube videos, a family who spiritually communicates with dragons and a Mormon guy who’s a little TOO into Harry Potter.
In-N-Out at midnight TikTok
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Today I’m diving into the Mormon POV on Mother Mary. And beyond some very ahem interesting doctrinal points (see the title), Mary opens up a much bigger conversation about virginity and virtue, the physical nature of the Mormon God, and the absence of any real female divinity in LDS theology.
Mary, the Mother of Jesus (according to TCOJCOLDS)
FAIR Latter Day Saints on Mary
The Guardian Article
Mormon Research Ministry Article on Mary
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Benny grew up feeling like something about him was “wrong.” After pushing through the Mormon path—full-time mission, BYU education—he eventually came out and began learning how to love himself for who he is. With his expertise in gender and sexuality, we talk about Mormon manhood, coming out at BYU, his continued fascination with deep-cut LDS doctrine, and how he’s embracing new forms of spirituality today.
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I consumed a lot of Mormon and Mormon-adjacent media this week: Heather Gay’s Surviving Mormonism, Elizabeth Smart’s new documentary Kidnapped and Jennette McCurdy’s latest novel Half His Age. As you can imagine, I’ve got thoughts!
We get into purity culture and sex, what it means to face the very worst of Mormonism, and where the bounds of “religious freedom” really are. And I also end up sharing a heavy family conversation I had this week about immigration enforcement and just how intense everything feels right now.
You can find the whole episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here.
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Three years later, I’m revisiting the question that kicked off the whole Girlscamp podcast. I talk about how my answer to why I left the Mormon church has evolved, and reflect on how this podcast has helped shape me. Here’s to three more years!
The first Girlscamp episode
Russell M. Nelson quote on the historicity of the Book of Mormon
The Trevor Project Utah LGBTQ+ mental health statistics
Sober Mormon TikTok post
Tishmal “Leaving for Love” episode YouTube
Tishmal “Leaving for Love” episode
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I’m resurrecting the campfire chat ✝️ and diving into your thoughts and questions. We end up covering a lot of ground: Mormon adult infantilization, mixed-faith extended family dynamics, learning to trust yourself after high-demand religion, threesome thoughts, and more.
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THRIVE Conference- St. George 2026
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“The most tragic episode in the history of the Church,” according to the Mormon Church’s own website, is the Mountain Meadows Massacre. In this episode, we talk about the violence carried out by early Mormons at Mountain Meadows, what was deliberately covered up, and how to reckon with that history now—especially after leaving the church. We dig into the social and political tensions between Mormons in the Utah Territory and the federal government, the complex relationships with the Paiute people, and the fact that Mormon headquarters still isn’t fully addressing the elephant in the room.
You can listen to the entire episode at the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here.
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Though we both left Mormonism, Ash and I ended up in very different spiritual places. We talk about the tension between my skepticism and her mysticism, what New Age spirituality looks like in her everyday life, and the meaning it brings her. We also talk about her family’s move to Missouri to prepare for the Mormon Second Coming, and how that has shaped her worldview. Tune in for a dose of Ash magic ✨
Ash's Instagram
Ash's Patreon account
Ash's first Girlscamp episode
Head to MarleySpoon.com/offer/GIRLSCAMP for up to 25 free meals
Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more.
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This year was a big one for internal change. I’m sharing what I’ve changed my mind about in 2025 — my relationship with Mormonism, how I feel about Jesus, and what I now think counts as grounds for divorce. Then I’m reading your mind-changes, from something as small as eating kiwi skin to something as big as a 180 on political beliefs.
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In light of senior Mormon apostle Jeffrey R. Holland’s passing, we’re sitting down to take a real look at his life and legacy. He shaped so many of us in our Mormonism (and influenced many of our exits, too). He was my former favorite apostle, and I still have lines he said memorized. Those lines ring very differently now. Let’s get into it.
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Today I get to be the Catholic priest. I’m reading your end-of-year confessions: marriage woes, smut enjoyment, religious indoctrination worries, and getting freaky at BYU. I also unpack my thoughts on the uproar over John Dehlin’s comments about his Mormonism, and whether I think I’m more ethical than practicing Mormons.
Tommy Johnson’s reel about John Dehlin
Terry real Instagram
Zoomie (the girl with the list) TikTok account
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No better time than Christmas to take a look at who Jesus really was. This episode is a deep dive into the historical Jesus—what we know, what we don’t, and how the story evolved over time. I ended up liking Jesus (the real guy) a lot more by the end of this. So, merry Christmas to that 🥂Yale Professor lecture “The Historical Jesus”
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We have some catching up to do! I’m getting into some ✨off the main feed ✨ topics today: an interaction with a couple moms from my kid’s extracurriculars, BTS from the Chase McWhorter episode, Christmas-time mom guilt, more about my grief journey and how I feel about people who go to church just for the community. See you there!
You can listen to the full episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here.
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Chase McWhorter, of the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, comes to Girlscamp today to talk about his Mormon upbringing, sex shame and taking accountability for his recently revealed DUI charge. We dig into the context behind his choices (spoiler: it's mostly Mormon!) and the ripple effects they’ve had. We talk about what rebuilding looks like—as a man, a dad, and in his spiritual identity.
Chase on The Weekly Trash with Josie Van Dyke
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Only a few weeks off social media and this bitch has stories to tell. Today I’m talking about my scrolling addiction and the moment I realized enough was enough. Then we’ll catch up while I read through your submissions and questions ❤️
Episode with Amy McPhie Allebest Podcast
Episode with Amy McPhie Allebest YouTube
Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari
Dopamine Nation by Dr Anna Lembke
The Push by Ashley Audrain
No Nonsense Spirituality by Brittney Hartley
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What would the story of Jesus look like if he had a wife? That’s the thought experiment Sue Monk Kidd takes on in The Book of Longings, told from the perspective of Jesus’s fictional wife, Ana. This book healed some of my Jesus trauma and helped me put words to my new kind of spirituality. It opened up conversations about the silencing of women's voices, patriarchy and power, motherhood, spiritual identity, and what autonomy and independence can look like within a marriage.
You can listen to the whole episode at the Girlscamp Patreon here.
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