DiscoverUnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

Author: Kara Loewentheil

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UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone breaks down the centuries of sexist socialization that causes us to struggle with self-doubt, burnout, and anxiety.

Hosted by Master Feminist Coach Kara Loewentheil, J.D., founder of The School of New Feminist Thought and author of Take Back Your Brain (Penguin 2024), each episode teaches you how to turn down the noise of societal expectations, turn up the volume on what YOU really want in life, and change your thinking to make sure you go get it.

This podcast is an essential resource for anyone eager to embrace a life free from limiting beliefs and societal constraints.

If you ever find yourself asking questions like…

*Why am I so anxious about stuff that isn’t a big deal?
*How can I stop overthinking everything?
*Am I selfish for wanting my life to look different?
*Will I ever feel comfortable in my body?
*Am I a bad parent?
*How can I ask for more money at work?
*Can I stop people-pleasing?
*How can my partner and I communicate better?

… then you won’t want to miss an episode.

Visit schoolofnewfeministthought.com to learn more about The School of New Feminist Thought and more.
548 Episodes
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Do you make decisions based on what you actually want, or based on what would make you feel the least guilty? In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down how guilt and shame quietly become the emotional compass guiding our everyday choices, from small obligations to major life decisions, and why that often leaves us exhausted, resentful, or stuck. I share how women in particular are socialized to treat guilt and shame like flashing moral warning signs, assuming that if we feel bad about not doing something, it must mean we should do it. I walk you through how to recalibrate your emotional compass so you can stop making decisions just to avoid feeling like a bad person.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/470Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:You're Invited: Tea at the Ritz Join me on Saturday, March 28, 2026 from 3:30-5:30pm for Tea at the Ritz in Paris. To secure your spot, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/teaJoin me for tea at the Ritz here!
Do social events drain you? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into a listener's question about feeling exhausted at social events and why small talk often feels boring. I explore how your thoughts are creating that experience and why the key to enjoying social gatherings starts with shifting your mindset. I also tackle a question about feeling like you have no desire for sex, and how to work through the thoughts causing fear and anxiety around intimacy. Tune in to discover how thought work can transform your experience at social events and in your intimate relationships, helping you reclaim energy, connection, and confidence. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/469Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
Do you find yourself avoiding negative emotions at all costs, distracting yourself with food, Netflix, or your phone? What if you could build the capacity to feel any emotion, no matter how uncomfortable, and still keep moving forward? In this episode, I’m diving into the concept of microdosing negative emotions and why this practice is the key to becoming unstoppable.Instead of pushing away the discomfort, we need to practice building safety around it, which is exactly what microdosing does. I’m walking you through how the microdosing approach helps you tolerate your emotions in manageable doses, so you can stop avoiding them and actually feel them as they pass.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/468Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:You're Invited: Tea at the Ritz Join me on Saturday, March 28, 2026 from 3:30-5:30pm for Tea at the Ritz in Paris. To secure your spot, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/teaJoin me for tea at the Ritz here!
Do you feel like you’re stuck in a toxic relationship, but aren’t sure if it’s really the relationship or just your thoughts? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into a listener’s question about how to tell if your relationship is toxic and how much of the issue comes down to your own thinking. I also tackle a question on health anxiety, where the listener is worried that their weight isn’t going down despite making healthy changes, and fears they’re damaging their health. Discover how thought work can help you take control of your emotional experience, whether in relationships or health, without falling into the trap of self-judgment and fear.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/467Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
How many times have you turned to Netflix, shopping, or a glass of wine to avoid feeling something uncomfortable? This is a pattern so many of us get stuck in. In this episode, I’m joined by my best friend, Master Certified Life Coach Rachel Hart, to explore why we do this and what actually helps us change it. This episode is the perfect starting point for understanding why we numb our emotions in the first place, and why learning to feel them instead of avoiding them is the key to creating lasting change in your life.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/466Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Learn more about Rachel Hart's work at rachelhart.com/Mentioned in this episode:You're Invited: Tea at the Ritz Join me on Saturday, March 28, 2026 from 3:30-5:30pm for Tea at the Ritz in Paris. To secure your spot, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/teaJoin me for tea at the Ritz here!
Do you ever look at your life on paper and think, I should feel proud of this, while inside you feel trapped, empty, or quietly panicked? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a question from a listener who hates her career choice and feels crushed by debt, regret, and the belief that she ruined her life by making the “wrong” decision.In the second question, I address what it means to feel numb or disconnected inside and why that emptiness can make thought work feel pointless or hopeless. This episode will help you see how your thoughts, not your past decisions or your emotional state, are creating the suffering, and how learning to question what you’re making your circumstances and feelings mean is the key to reclaiming agency, clarity, and self-trust. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/465Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
There’s a word many of us use to feel validated or justified that actually keeps us stuck in self-doubt. Whether it sounds like “I deserve this” or “maybe I don’t deserve that,” this way of thinking quietly turns your life into a moral evaluation instead of a place where you get to make choices.In this episode, I explain why the idea of “deserving” is a mental trap and how it reinforces shame, second-guessing, and the belief that you need permission to want, enjoy, or change something. I share a different framework for relating to desire, hardship, and agency so you can stop debating your worth and start deciding what you want to experience instead.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/464Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:You're Invited: Tea at the Ritz Join me on Saturday, March 28, 2026 from 3:30-5:30pm for Tea at the Ritz in Paris. To secure your spot, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/teaJoin me for tea at the Ritz here!
When you’ve spent most of your adult life believing your body has to look a certain way to be desirable, it can feel impossible to think anything different. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who feels stuck believing her body must change for men to be attracted to her, even after years of thought work. I also respond to a question about struggling to identify emotions beyond anxiety and feeling empty or disconnected. I explain why strong emotions are often the easiest to access at first, what it actually means to describe a feeling physically, and how learning to stay with sensations without judgment builds emotional awareness over time.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/463Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
Do you ever fall off a goal, get back on, and then fall off again in the exact same way? In this episode, I explain why setbacks aren’t the problem and why the way you respond to them determines whether you actually make progress or quietly give up.You'll hear why simply vowing to “do better next time” doesn’t work, how shame blocks analysis, and how the combination of self-compassion and strategy is what actually creates lasting change. If you want to stop repeating the same setbacks and start building momentum, this episode shows you how.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/462Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:You're Invited: Tea at the Ritz Join me on Saturday, March 28, 2026 from 3:30-5:30pm for Tea at the Ritz in Paris. To secure your spot, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/teaJoin me for tea at the Ritz here!
Do you ever feel like if you could just find the right outfit, you’d finally feel confident? Or like the only way to calm your anxiety in dating is to get reassurance from the person you’re seeing?In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions that show how easy it is to look outside yourself for emotional safety. You’ll learn how to stop outsourcing your confidence to clothes or other people and start creating emotional security from the inside out. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/461 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
Check out our current openings here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/hiring
When the world feels financially chaotic, it’s easy to slip into survival mode and feel like money is the only thing standing between you and safety. To explore why this happens and how to create a steadier sense of financial safety, I’m joined by New York Times bestselling author, Tori Dunlap.Together, we talk about the systemic barriers women face, the guilt around wanting more, and why avoiding your numbers only increases stress. You’ll hear why financial education is one of the most powerful tools women have right now, and what changes when you start seeing yourself as a capable, autonomous financial agent.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/458Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Follow Tori on Instagram: instagram.com/torikdunlap/Her First 100K: herfirst100k.comMentioned in this episode:You're Invited: Tea at the Ritz Join me on Saturday, March 28, 2026 from 3:30-5:30pm for Tea at the Ritz in Paris. To secure your spot, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/teaJoin me for tea at the Ritz here!
Ever wonder if you are pushing toward a bold goal or just fighting reality and wearing yourself out? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about how to tell the difference between challenging limits and ignoring real constraints like your energy, time, and capacity.I also answer a question about jealousy in polyamory and what to do when you feel physically activated watching your partner show affection to someone else. I break down why the sensation in your body is created by your thoughts, not the situation itself, and why this is work you want to do before you are in the moment.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/459Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
Do you feel like you are always falling short of some invisible standard, no matter how hard you try? That sense of inadequacy can creep into your work, your relationships, and how you relate to your body, and it can quietly run your life if you never stop to question it.In this episode, I explore why insecurity is not a personality flaw or something you need to fix, but a signal that you do not feel emotionally safe with yourself. I break down how socialization trains us to measure our worth against external rules and expectations that were never designed to serve us, and why that keeps us feeling perpetually not good enough. Hit play to learn how to stop outsourcing your sense of safety and value, and how to build emotional security from the inside.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/458Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:You're Invited: Tea at the Ritz Join me on Saturday, March 28, 2026 from 3:30-5:30pm for Tea at the Ritz in Paris. To secure your spot, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/teaJoin me for tea at the Ritz here!
Does doing thought work make you calmer or does it turn you into someone who feels less emotional and more rigid? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about whether becoming more logical means losing access to their emotions. You'll also hear my answer to a question from a listener who feels constantly angry during long school drop-off drives and blames other drivers. I'll show you how owning your choices and managing your mind can radically change how you feel without changing a single circumstance. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/457Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
Ever notice how when someone asks you for something, you immediately feel like you should say yes? Whether it's a colleague wanting to pick your brain over coffee or your kid's school asking you to bake for the school fundraiser, there's this instant weight that settles on your shoulders. In this episode, I'm naming something that hasn't been talked about before but affects almost everyone socialized as a woman: Instant Obligation Syndrome.  I'll explain why this happens, how it's rooted in the socialization that teaches women their purpose is to serve others, and why you feel like you need a "good reason" to say no. Most importantly, I'll show you why this pattern is costing you far more than you realize.  Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/456 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:You're Invited: Tea at the Ritz Join me on Saturday, March 28, 2026 from 3:30-5:30pm for Tea at the Ritz in Paris. To secure your spot, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/teaJoin me for tea at the Ritz here!
Why is it so easy to doubt ourselves, even when we’ve already proven we’re capable? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about feeling unqualified despite a successful career. She’s struggling with thoughts that her associate's degree makes her less than others in her field, even though her work experience speaks for itself. The second question is about how to manage the flood of self-doubt that comes up when pursuing big goals. A coach is working on expanding her business, but finds herself stuck in a cycle of procrastination and negative thoughts. If you’ve ever felt like your thoughts were holding you back, this episode will help you move through them and take consistent action toward your goals. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/455Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
Ever feel like you’re "too much" for others? Like when someone tells you you're too sensitive, too needy, or taking things too seriously?In this episode, I explore why the fear of being "too much" is so common among women and how it limits us from living fully. You'll discover why this vague but powerful fear gets weaponized against women and marginalized communities, and how to start rewiring your brain around it.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/454Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:You're Invited: Tea at the Ritz Join me on Saturday, March 28, 2026 from 3:30-5:30pm for Tea at the Ritz in Paris. To secure your spot, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/teaJoin me for tea at the Ritz here!
Do you ever find yourself paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake at work, no matter how small? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I’m answering two listener questions that dive into how we handle fear, stress, and the pressure to be perfect.The first question is from someone working in a high-stakes field, terrified of making mistakes and facing professional consequences. The second question is about dealing with stress-induced habits like overeating or drinking, and the guilt that follows. I show you why you can’t solve the problem by just focusing on behavior... it’s your thoughts and emotions that need attention.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/453Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
Why is it so hard to make a decision? So many of us get stuck in a cycle of overthinking, second-guessing, or waiting for external validation before we can make a choice. So in this episode, I’m sharing why women often struggle with decisiveness and how our socialization shapes the way we approach decision-making and risk. You’ll learn why embracing decisiveness is crucial for creating the life you want and get practical tips for using self-coaching to make confident, purposeful decisions that align with your goals. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/452 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:You're Invited: Tea at the Ritz Join me on Saturday, March 28, 2026 from 3:30-5:30pm for Tea at the Ritz in Paris. To secure your spot, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/teaJoin me for tea at the Ritz here!
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Comments (101)

Vahab Sahvi "Accountant"

Excellent ❤️

Feb 14th
Reply

Betty

you are amazing❤❤

Sep 6th
Reply

Andi-Roo Libecap

Every episode of this show teaches me something about myself. Kara blows me away with her no-nonsense insights. Cannot recommend more highly — definitely give this one a listen!

Aug 22nd
Reply

Michele S

this isn't a podcast episode, it's a ten minute ad for her book where she reads from a script

May 25th
Reply

so so

too much ads

Apr 13th
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Jan 13th
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Jan 11th
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Amanda Joy

love this ep! thank youuu 🙏🏼

Nov 10th
Reply

Maribel Castaneda

THANK U !! 🙌

Jul 8th
Reply

Hadi Lotfi

💯

Jul 7th
Reply

Amber Weekley

I totally needed this 💕💕

Apr 2nd
Reply

Tobin Prowant

I listen to these 2 women for more than 10 minute. And I have absolutely no idea what the h*** they're talking about!!! Their idiotic use of buzzwords was insane!!!!

Mar 29th
Reply

Maxine

POWERFUL. SO POWERFUL 🖤

Mar 3rd
Reply

Maxine

I would love for you to do a podcast about feeling safe! defo need to talk more about this 🖤👌🏾🙏🏾 love your work. I will work with you one day soon. I'm on the waitlist x

Mar 1st
Reply

Amber Weekley

I love The Clutch & this podcast!! tysm!😍

Feb 22nd
Reply

Maxine

very good. I will say having a solid foundation in yourself - having the good self- esteem and confidence and knowing your value and belief in yourself is really the key to being brave enough to handle rejection and not making it about you. 🖤

Feb 13th
Reply

Maxine

you were talking right at me!!! EVERYTHIGN 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Feb 8th
Reply

Maxine

this. THIS was all the things. so much made sense to me. this was so helpful 🖤

Feb 8th
Reply

mozhgan

thanks for your perfect podcast😉I will use this instructions from now on but I couldn’t reach your website so if you are seeing this please send me that worksheet ❣️

Jan 14th
Reply
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