Claim OwnershipHealing CPTSD
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© Embodied Self Therapy
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Healing CPTSD is a podcast dedicated to healing from childhood trauma and complex PTSD. Join your host, Bianca Winter-Mallari, a trauma informed counsellor, somatic therapist, founder of Embodied Self Therapy and fellow childhood trauma survivor. Here we’ll explore the nuanced world of trauma, unpacking topics such as toxic family systems, intergenerational trauma, attachment, dissociation and shame. We’ll also explore pathways to recovery through somatics and embodiment, nervous system regulation, parts work, community and trauma informed care.
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Men aren’t the problem — patriarchy is. In this episode, I explore how patriarchy harms men by teaching boys that strength, stoicism, dominance, and achievement define their worth, while vulnerability is unsafe. When normal human needs for connection and support go unmet, that pressure can turn into shame, loneliness, anger, and disconnection, feeding toxic masculinity and making healthy relationships harder. I also touch on the rise of red pill ideology, which often validates men’s pain but redirects it into blame, domination, and misogyny. I close by talking about what healing masculinity could look like — expanding what men are allowed to be through emotional honesty, regulation, community, tenderness, and accountability.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOW🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOADTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop | Use the code COMMUNITY at checkout for 20% off 🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate
In this episode, I talk about what I call “goodness conditioning” — the pressure many of us feel to be easy, agreeable, and not rock the boat. For people with childhood trauma or CPTSD, these patterns often began as survival strategies. Over time this can create a disconnect between what you say yes to and what your body actually feels, often leading to burnout, resentment, and losing touch with yourself. In this episode, I share how we can begin gently shifting this pattern by noticing the body’s cues, giving ourselves time before responding, and practicing small moments of honesty that rebuild trust with ourselves.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOW🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOADTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop | Use the code COMMUNITY at checkout for 20% off 🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate
In this episode of Healing CPTSD, we unpack anxiety. Rather than focusing on labels or diagnosis, we'll understand anxiety through a trauma informed, nervous system lens, acknowledging it as a survival response. I also walk you through some gentle, practical ways to work with anxiety instead of against it.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOW🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOADTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop | Use the code COMMUNITY at checkout for 20% off 🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate
🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOWIn this episode of Healing CPTSD, we’re talking about collapse — both in the nervous system and in societal systems. Many of us are carrying more than just our personal stories. I explore what shutdown can look like when things are just too much, or those “straw that broke the camel’s back” moments, and how our internal states are often shaped by the conditions we’re living in. Here, we reframe collapse not as failure, but as a threshold for recalibration. We also touch on activism and what sustainable resistance can look like when we honour the body’s need for both action and rest. Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOADTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop | Use the code COMMUNITY at checkout for 20% off 🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate
🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOWIn this episode, we're exploring what it really means when we say “healing isn’t linear,” and why recovery from complex PTSD often feels like one step forward and two steps back. I unpack the difference between a straight-line, productivity-based mindset (linked to perfectionism and wider cultural conditioning) and a more realistic view of healing as cyclical. One that moves more in spirals, seasons, and waves. From a trauma-informed, somatic therapy lens, I explain how the nervous system reveals and processes trauma in layers, only when we have enough safety, support and capacity, and why integration and rest are essential between periods of activation and expansion. Even when old patterns resurface, it doesn’t mean you’re failing — it is progress, gentle and layer by layer.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOADTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop | Use the code COMMUNITY at checkout for 20% off 🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate
🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOWIn honour of Women’s Day, this episode gives you permission to feel and embody your feminine rage. It’s an honest conversation about patriarchy — not as an abstract idea, but as a system that lives in women’s bodies, shaping everything from hypervigilance to internalised misogyny, and leaving so many women exhausted and unseen. We can’t truly celebrate women without also demanding safety, respect, accountability and recognition. May this episode be a call to reflect on how we can uplift women and acknowledge our magic. Magic that thrives even within a world that continues to keep us small.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOADTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop | Use the code COMMUNITY at checkout for 20% off 🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate
🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOWIn this episode of Healing CPTSD, we're exploring the question: what are we actually healing for? With everything happening in the world right now — the rise of right-wing fascism, late-stage capitalism doing what it does best, ongoing colonial harm, and the very real climate crisis — it can feel heavy, confusing, or even a bit pointless to focus on your own healing. So this is a gentle, honest conversation about why it still matters. We explore how healing isn’t just about coping or self-improvement, but about imagining and moving toward a world that’s more humane, relational, and sustainable. Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOADTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop | Use the code COMMUNITY at checkout for 20% off 🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate
🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOWThis episode invites you into a very real, honest conversation about doesn't get named in therapy spaces enough — trauma is political. Your pain didn’t come out of nowhere, and it doesn’t exist in a vacuum. We talk about how your nervous system, your symptoms, and the way you’ve learned to survive are shaped by the world you’re living in. Racism, colonialism, patriarchy, fascism, and late-stage capitalism don’t just affect us “out there”, they land in the body. This episode unpacks why anxiety, burnout, anger, grief, and numbness are not personal failures, but deeply intelligent responses to chronic stress and unsafe systems. We also touch on collective and intergenerational trauma, why Western therapy so often individualises suffering, and how healing actually asks us to widen the lens toward community, culture and truth. If you’ve ever felt like you’re “too much” or not coping well enough, let this episode be a reminder: your responses make sense!!!Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOADTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop | Use the code COMMUNITY at checkout for 20% off 🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate
🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOWThis first episode of Healing CPTSD for 2026 is an unscripted reintroduction and a reflection on the personal and professional shifts that have shaped Embodied Self Therapy over the past few years. Here I share why community, slowness and relational safety have become even more central to how I practice. This episode also names something I’ll be returning to throughout the year: trauma does not exist in a vacuum. Our nervous systems are shaped by the larger systems that we live within, such as patriarchy, colonialism, capitalism and the rising tide of right-wing fascism globally, and individual healing is deeply entangled with collective conditions. I outline the direction of the podcast moving forward — integrating somatic trauma work with social justice, political awareness and collective care. This is an invitation for you to reflect on what you're carrying into this year, including the small, meaningful ways you might already be resisting, caring and staying human in an unsustainable world.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOADTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop | Use the code COMMUNITY at checkout for 20% off 🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate
🎁 SILLY SEASON SURVIVAL GUIDE | FREE DOWNLOADThis episode is a gentle chat to reflect on the year that's been, to say thank you for being here, share some personal life updates and take a soft look ahead at what’s coming in 2026. Healing CPTSD will be taking a break until February, but don't you worry, I leave you with supportive resources you can lean on to get you through the holiday period with a little ease.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? 🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOWBOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOADTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop | Use the code COMMUNITY at checkout for 20% off 🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate
In this week’s episode, we’re looking at what it really means to have a sense of self, and why it can feel unclear or missing after complex trauma. When survival has shaped your identity, it’s common to lose touch with your needs, preferences, boundaries, and inner voice. We’ll talk about how trauma impacts identity development and explore practical ways to reconnect with who you are now: through embodiment, values, and small experiments in self-expression and choice. Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? 🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOWBOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOADTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop | Use the code COMMUNITY at checkout for 20% off 🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate
This episode invites you into a gentle exploration of the concept of embodiment — what it truly means to be in your body, and how you can begin cultivating safety, awareness and self-connection at a pace that honours your nervous system. We dive into how trauma impacts your ability to feel present in your body, why embodiment can feel difficult or unsafe, and the foundational steps that help you rebuild a sense of inner safety.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? 🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOWBOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOADTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop | Use the code COMMUNITY at checkout for 20% off 🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate
🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOAD🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOW🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate This episode explores what it really means to be a highly sensitive person (HSP) and how to embrace your sensitivity as a strength rather than a flaw.We’ll unpack the science of sensory processing sensitivity, the link between trauma and heightened awareness, and why your sensitivity is deeply needed in today’s disconnected world. You’ll learn practical ways to support your nervous system, including sensory hygiene, boundary setting, and embodiment practices that help you stay grounded and resourced.This episode invites you to see your tenderness not as a weakness but as a superpower – something that brings depth, empathy, and meaning to your life and the lives of others.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERYTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop
🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOAD🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOW🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate Here I explain HALTS, an acronym that stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sick/Stressed/Sensitive.This simple framework helps you identify what’s really going on beneath dysregulation, anxiety or overwhelm. We’ll explore how each part of HALTS can reveal unmet needs and guide you back toward balance, care and self-awareness.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERYTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop
🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOAD🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOW🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate In this episode, we explore the deep and lasting effects of invalidation — how being dismissed, minimised or misunderstood can shape the way we see ourselves and the world around us. We'll unpack what invalidation looks like, how it often begins in childhood, and the ways it continues to echo through our adult relationships and inner dialogue.I share reflections and practical steps to help us begin reclaiming self-trust and learning how to validate our own emotions and experiences. We’ll talk about how to recognise the subtle signs of invalidation, how to reframe negative self-talk and how to create relationships and environments that feel supportive and safe.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERYTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop
🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOAD🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOW🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate In this episode of Healing CPTSD, we explore the roots of perfectionism and how it often develops as a protective response to trauma and fear. We'll unpack how perfectionism can keep us stuck in cycles of pressure and self-criticism, even as we’re trying to feel safe, worthy or in control.I share my own reflections as a recovering perfectionist and offer some gentle, practical tools to help us soften the need to always get it “right.” We’ll talk about how to reframe limiting beliefs, celebrate progress instead of perfection, and begin embracing the freedom of being “good enough.”Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERYTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop
🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOAD🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOW🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate In this episode, we explore what it really means to feel at home— both in the world and within yourself. We'll talk about what impacts our sense of belonging and why the quest for home is such a central part of your healing journey.We’ll discuss practical ways to cultivate your own sense of home in a way that is true and meaningful to you. You’ll also get personal stories and professional insights to help you navigate this complex process with gentleness and intention.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERYTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop
🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOAD🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOW🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate In this episode of Healing CPTSD, we explore the vital process of reclaiming your “No” — and why learning to set boundaries is such a powerful act of self-respect. We'll unpack how childhood conditioning and trauma can disconnect us from our natural boundaries, leaving us unsure how to say no without guilt or fear. We'll also explores the misunderstood energy of anger, not as something to suppress but as a protective force that signals where our limits lie.Through real-world examples and somatic insights, this episode offers gentle, practical steps for reconnecting with your body’s cues, practising “small nos,” and honouring your emotional and physical boundaries. In this episode, we cover:Why trauma makes saying “no” difficultHow anger protects and restores boundariesReconnecting with your body’s yes and noSomatic practices for asserting yourself safelyThe importance of self-compassion and integrationNeed to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERYTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop
🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOAD🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOW🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate In this episode of Healing CPTSD, we dive into the fascinating process of somatic trauma releases — how the body holds onto unresolved survival energy and the ways it naturally discharges and recalibrates when given the right conditions.We’ll explore how these releases differ from simply reliving trauma, and the many forms they can take — whether it’s a small, subtle shift like a trembling hand or softened jaw, or a more cathartic, dramatic experience. I’ll also talk about why integration is key, the importance of staying within your window of tolerance, and how safe, supportive environments make all the difference in healing.This episode is here to help you better understand your body’s wisdom and remind you that release doesn’t always look big or dramatic — it just needs presence, safety and space.Episode highlights:What somatic trauma releases are (and what they aren’t)The spectrum of release: from subtle shifts to cathartic dischargesWhy we don’t need to attach meaning or story for healing to happenThe role of integration in nervous system regulationUnderstanding the window of toleranceHow safety and support shape the healing processNeed to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERYTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop
🔥 NEW F*ck The System Resistance Checklist Freebie | DOWNLOAD🔥 NEW Global Crisis Holding Sessions | BOOK NOW🍉 SUPPORT FAMILIES IN GAZA | Follow this link to donate In this episode, we’re exploring implicit memory — the way trauma can live in the body and nervous system, often below conscious awareness. Unlike explicit memory, which recalls facts and events, implicit memory shows up as bodily reactions, emotional charges, or automatic responses.We’ll dive into how trauma gets encoded in the brain, how these memories can influence your daily life, and how somatic therapy can help make the implicit explicit — bringing fragmented experiences into a cohesive, healing narrative. I’ll also share tips for noticing signs of implicit memory and working with your body to integrate and heal.Topics Explored:What is Implicit Memory?Explicit vs. Implicit MemoryHow Memory is EncodedTrauma and the Body’s ResponseSomatic Therapy and HealingNeed to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERYTrigger Toolkit Free DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop
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Bianca has a steady, calm tone throughout the episodes which helps me remain calm even when the topic she's discussing is deeply upsetting. It feels like co-regulation and it helps me continue listening when in the past I've had to turn off other cptsd media at similar points. I also appreciate how she frequently stops to remind listeners to check in with how things are sitting in their bodies. Those reminders help me immensely.