the own it podcast

​​In this episode, we explore how your childhood quietly trained the way you show up in life today — not to blame your past, but to understand yourself with compassion. Long before you had language, your nervous system learned how to survive, adapting to your environment rather than to truth. Behaviors that once protected you — staying quiet, performing, self-soothing — may now be the very patterns keeping you stuck in adulthood. We unpack survival responses that often look like personality traits (fight, flight, freeze, and fawn) and connect them to attachment patterns — anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure — shaping how you handle conflict, intimacy, and even your relationship with God. This conversation invites gentle reflection: what did you need as a child, what did you learn you had to do to feel safe or loved, and where do you still see those strategies playing out today? HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

In this episode, I connect Jesus’ Parable of the Sower with modern attachment theory to show how the condition of our heart affects our capacity for spiritual growth. I compare the four soils — the path, rocky ground, thorns, and good soil — with the four attachment styles — avoidant, anxious, disorganized, and secure — revealing that fruitfulness isn’t just about hearing truth, but about how safely we’re able to receive it. The same seed produces different outcomes because our relational patterns shape whether truth penetrates, withers, gets choked, or takes root. Through the biblical contrast of Saul and David, we see how attachment to God transforms the soil of the heart. Fear, self-protection, and insecurity harden the soil, while trust, repentance, and turning toward God cultivate receptivity and lasting fruit. This episode invites you to identify the soil you’re living from, understand how it was formed, and begin tending your heart — because we don’t control the seed, sun, or rain, but we do participate in the preparation of the soil where life grows. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

Self-awareness is the doorway to healing—but it often feels risky. In this episode, I share how my own healing journey began with a deep fear of self-deception and the belief that I couldn’t trust myself after past decisions led to pain. Scripture reminds us that the heart can be deceptive because we cling to what feels familiar, protective, or spiritually justified. Deception often sounds reasonable—even mature—and it thrives in speed, avoidance, and self-protection. Healing, however, requires truth, slowness, accountability, and a willingness to feel. We explore how God consistently invites awareness before action, framing it as an act of trust rather than self-criticism. Transformation starts with noticing what’s happening within us. Awareness is not shame—it’s clarity. What we name loses its power, and what we bring into the light creates space for choice and freedom. This episode ends with a gentle invitation to reflect and pray, remembering that God already sees us—self-awareness simply allows us to meet Him there. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

Pruning seasons are one of those things we don’t usually volunteer for—but somehow find ourselves in anyway. This episode came straight from a DM asking how to handle the grief, pressure, and uncertainty that come when God starts trimming things back. We talk about what a pruning season actually is (spoiler: it’s not punishment), why it often shows up after growth, and how God tends what’s alive so it can stay healthy and fruitful. We also get really honest about what tends to get pruned—relationships, roles, habits, hustle, and even good things that no longer fit the season you’re in. We talk about how to tell the difference between fruitfulness and faithfulness, how to listen to your body and your limits, and how to navigate the grief of releasing people you hoped would come with you into the next season. If you’ve felt that quiet nudge to simplify, or wondered why what used to feel easy now feels heavy, this conversation is for you. You’re not behind—and you’re not losing everything. You might just be making room for what’s next. else’s way of doing things, we actually make space to discern what God is asking of us. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

I recently took a break from Instagram, and the clarity I felt was honestly shocking. It’s so easy to get caught in a cycle of constant consumption and convince ourselves we’re being productive—or even faithful—because we’re listening to podcasts, taking in content, and absorbing other people’s revelations. And while it’s good to be fed, the truth is that the only meal that truly satisfies is the Word of God. When consumption becomes our default posture, we can mistake information for transformation. Romans 12:2 has been deeply sharpening me in this season: “Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world.” The word conformed comes from the Greek schema—an outward mold—and world refers to the present age system we live in. This present age includes social media, metrics, influencers, and cultural definitions of success—even in how we grow, scale, and show up. This episode is an invitation—for you and for me—to lean into faithfulness over consumption this year, to quiet the noise, and to trust that when we stop conforming to everyone else’s way of doing things, we actually make space to discern what God is asking of us. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

Happy New Year!! In this episode, we’re talking about what God is building in you when you can’t yet see the full picture. Our life is all about trust, surrender, and taking one aligned step at a time, and so much of our faith journey is trusting in what we can’t see. Proverbs 29:18 reminds us that without vision, we drift. Vision keeps us grounded, aligned, and faithful to the good works God prepared for us (Ephesians 2:10) and the gifts He’s called us to steward (1 Peter 4:10). Even when the path feels blurry, God is forming something in you that clarity alone could never produce. We’re also going there with the real question: How do you hold vision for tomorrow when you don’t love where you’re at today? I share about a past season where nothing was happening, and how the prophetic words over my life kept me steady—but also how focusing too much on the future made me resent the present. God taught me to nestle, to be present, and to let vision create restraint rather than escape. Vision for tomorrow matters, but grace is for right now—and when you honor where your feet are, God can actually lead you where you’re going. This episode is all about knowing your season, owning your assignment, and walking daily in and towards what God is calling you to do.  HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

In this episode, I’m joined by my special guest Donta as we share a real-life family update and talk honestly about pregnancy—how it’s showing up in my body this time around and what this season has been inviting me to slow down and notice. We also open up about what we’re currently owning as a family, especially the choice to not escape or check out during the holidays, but to stay present, grounded, and connected even when life feels full. We keep things light and fun, talking about how to own the Christmas season through laughter and joy, plus sharing some of our favorite holiday hot takes—are fake trees actually better than real ones, and what really is the best Christmas movie of all time? Join us for laughs, honest conversation, and a little holiday cheer. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good week. 🎄✨ HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

This week on the podcast, I have an amazing guest, and a personal friend of mine, Barkot, on with me! We’re kicking things off with some fun hot takes—one thing we admire about both millennials and Gen Z, and one thing we lovingly wish each generation would stop doing. Then we’re going there with a listener-submitted question. We dive into why hearing from friends who are actually walking out singleness in their late 20s and 30s is so life-giving, and how their Godly wisdom brings a grounded, refreshing perspective to conversations around identity, purpose, and timing. We unpack the very real tension of holding a desire for marriage while building a full, joyful, healthy life right where you are. We talk about staying anchored in who God says you are when your relationship status doesn’t look like the timeline you imagined, and the spiritual, emotional, and practical rhythms that help you flourish in this season. We also explore what many singles wish others understood about dating culture today and why empathy, curiosity, and community matter more than ever. Whether you’re single, married, or somewhere in the middle, this conversation invites you to live with intention, honor your current season, and own your story with confidence. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

Today’s episode is all about the holidays — the traditions we grew up with, the ones we’re building now, and the ones we’re deciding to leave behind. I share some of my favorite nostalgic childhood memories and the new ones we’re building with our family. And now, with my own family, I’m learning that traditions only work when there’s buy-in. You have to cast vision, set the culture, involve everyone, and make it feel special and memorable.  But then we go deeper, because the holidays also stir things up — triggers, old wounds, insecurities, and familiar coping mechanisms. I talk honestly about the years when I used my triggers as an excuse to shut down and hide, even though all my self-awareness wasn’t actually leading me to freedom. We look at what a trigger really is, how it connects back to past pain, and why our triggers need Jesus more than they need another journaling session. I share the story of the woman caught in adultery and how Jesus didn’t shame her — He empowered her to walk differently. And I open up about burning down the “island” I used to escape to every time I felt overwhelmed. My prayer is that this episode helps you recognize the places you’ve been excusing, validating, or idolizing your triggers, and invites you to let Jesus heal them fully — even if that means burning a bridge you’ve leaned on your entire life. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

Life has been full lately — pregnancy, marriage, Thanksgiving, and juggling this full, beautiful life we have. I’ve been moving a little slower, feeling a lot deeper, and trying to be fully present in this tender season. I’m also thinking a lot about Advent and asking myself, What am I currently owning in my life? Where am I being invited to show up with intention instead of autopilot? Those reflections led perfectly into today’s episode, which was actually inspired by a DM I received on Instagram asking if I could talk about getting stuck in deep nostalgia and spending more time in fantasy than in the present moment. So I have my husband, Donta, with me to unpack this topic with me.  So today, we go there. We talk about what nostalgia really is — that warm, sentimental “I miss this” feeling that can remind us of sweeter seasons — and how fantasy can pull us into imagined worlds, ideal scenarios, or “maybe someday” living. We explore why it’s so easy to drift into the past or the pretend future when the present feels overwhelming, and we offer some gentle, grounded tips for processing those emotions and returning to your body. This episode is a good one.  HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

In this episode, I’m catching you up on life lately — and honestly, it feels like a breath of fresh air. I’ve had so much more energy these days: cooking again, working with focus, actually enjoying bedtime routines. My kids are off school this week, and I’m so excited for long, unhurried days with them — less phone, less multitasking, more presence after such a long, busy stretch. The holidays always fly by, and with a baby arriving in just over four months, I’m savoring these slow moments while I can. Today you’ll also hear my hot take that Thanksgiving is, in fact, better than Christmas Day… and the story behind our four-year Friendsgiving tradition that started when we stopped waiting to be invited and decided to be the ones who open our door. We’re doing a real heart check — emotionally, spiritually, and mentally — because this week holds a lot for many people. Gratitude can feel complicated when life feels heavy or uncertain, and there’s been a lot happening in our community lately. So we’re talking about the kind of gratitude you grow into: gratitude for growth, like how motherhood has slowly untangled my anxiety; gratitude for the hard seasons, including the fire Donta and I walked through in 2020 that shaped us into who we are today; and gratitude for who you’re becoming. I’m leaning into the new stretch of becoming a mom of four, letting go of what no longer serves me, and welcoming the woman God is forming in this season. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

In this episode, I’m sharing the wild plot twist of our year — I’m pregnant, and truly, it was the shock of our lives. After our daughter was born, we were so sure we were done that I spent two years grieving the chapter I thought I’d never reopen. I even sold everything and wrote a post called “I think I’m done, but I’ll always want another baby”… while unknowingly already pregnant. And even though I was excited for the season of all my kids finally being in school, something inside felt off — so off that I almost pulled my daughter out of preschool. We’re catching up on life lately, how my heart is doing, and what this pregnancy has been like so far (good news: the nausea is almost gone). It’s a cozy, reflective, honest conversation — from embracing the Christmas season to making paleo hot chocolate, to my hot take on finding out the gender at birth, to the simple truth that contraception is only 99% effective… and that’s all I’m going to say. Ready to start wrapping up the year with a deep breath and a slow exhale? Let’s dive in. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

This week, we're doing things a little differently. I brought on my favorite person — my husband, Donta — to unpack it all with me. We’re catching you up on everything from everyday family life to our recent adventures and the random things that keep us laughing. Think long drives, house projects, and the ongoing comedy that is Facebook Marketplace. We’re also chatting about a few hot takes — including the big one: to Disney or not to Disney? It’s giving lighthearted debate energy, and we definitely have thoughts. Mostly, this episode is just us inviting you into the conversations we have in real life, the ones that make marriage feel fun, even when life is crazy. And of course, we’re doing a little heart check because my daughter turns three tomorrow, and I am feeling all the big mom emotions. We talk about her sweet–spicy personality, what God has spoken to me about her strength, and my desire to nurture it instead of tame it. It’s honest, fun, and full of those real-life moments that make motherhood and marriage so meaningful. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

In today’s episode, I’m sharing a little life update — from finally painting our house to kicking off the holiday season (my favorite time of year!). Meal planning is officially back in our rhythm — hopefully to stay — and the kids gave my chili two thumbs up, which feels like a small miracle. But beyond the cozy home updates, this episode dives deep into something I’ve been feeling lately — spiritual hunger and what it means to feel dry in your soul. We talk through verses like Psalm 42, Psalm 63, and John 6, where God reminds us that He alone satisfies the hungry and fills the thirsty with good things. It’s easy to fill our lives with the “junk food” of busyness, distraction, or even good things that aren’t the thing — His presence. I also unpack the concept of interoception, our body’s ability to sense what’s going on inside us — like hunger, thirst, or restlessness — and how that mirrors our spiritual lives. When we’re full on everything else, it’s hard to feel hungry for more of Him. But when we start feeding on what’s nourishing, our appetite for His presence grows. We’ll also touch on the story of Mary and Martha and how misordered priorities can dull our spiritual hunger. This episode is all about learning to stir your hunger again — to make space for what truly satisfies. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

After being MIA for a couple of weeks, I’m back and catching you up on where I’ve been and what I’m learning in this season. Life has been full but underneath the busyness, I’ve realized I’ve unintentionally made a few things idols — and I’m learning to own my season instead of trying to control it. It’s tricky finding a healthy relationship with social media when it’s such a big part of my work, but I’m leaning into grace, boundaries, and rhythms that keep me grounded. In this episode, I’m also introducing a new structure to The Own It Podcast with six fun and intentional segments: Life Lately, Currently Owning, Hot Takes, Heart Check, Let’s Go There, and a 60-Second Pep Talk. Each segment is designed to make space for real conversation — from what’s happening in everyday life to spiritual check-ins and quick bursts of encouragement for your week. I’m talking about the art of showing up, embracing your season, and finding growth through rhythms rather than results. Whether you’re feeling dry, distracted, or just figuring out how to stay grounded, this episode is your reminder that no matter what’s happening around you, there’s always something you can own. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

It’s my 37th birthday today, and instead of talking about achievements or goals, I wanted to reflect on who I’ve become — what I’ve learned, what I’m still learning, and how each season has shaped me. Every year brings both a shedding and a deepening, and 37 feels like both. My 20s were about striving and searching for purpose, while my 30s have been about rooting, aligning, and choosing myself. With three years left in this decade, I want to soak them up and embrace what’s next with gratitude. In this episode, I’m sharing seven core lessons I’m taking into this new year: you can’t rush becoming; healing is about integration, not fixing; there’s power in small, faithful steps; purpose is discovered, not created; my body is a messenger, not an enemy; motherhood has been my greatest refining; and aging is a gift, not a curse. If you’re in your own season of becoming, my hope is that these reflections remind you to be where your feet are and trust that slow, unseen growth is still growth. Here’s to becoming — not the perfect version, but the present one. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

This week, I’m sharing from my heart about what I’ve come to call The Cave of Motherhood. When I first entered this cave, it felt dark and overwhelming—like I had lost myself. Motherhood can feel isolating, exhausting, and honestly, nothing like the “glowing” image we’re often sold. From sleep deprivation to mom guilt, from survival mode to endless days that all look the same—it can feel like you’re stuck in the shadows. But here’s what I’ve discovered: the cave isn’t just a place of loss. It’s also a place of transformation. In this hidden space, something in us shifts. Yes, parts of who we were die, but new parts are born. Our values, our identity, our love—everything gets reshaped here. And slowly, if we let it, the cave reveals its hidden beauty. There are sacred, unseen moments—rocking a baby at 2 a.m., watching little milestones, realizing growth is happening in the dark long before the fruit shows up. Now, I feel like I’m in the emerging stage. I’m rediscovering my creativity, my ambition, and myself—not just as a mom, but as a whole woman. The cave has been both the hardest and most beautiful place I’ve ever walked through, and I want you to know you’re not alone in it. Motherhood may feel like a cave, but it’s also the birthplace of transformation. Who you walk in as is not the same as who you walk out as. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

Have you ever felt a shift in your life and thought, ‘This doesn’t feel exciting… this just feels uncomfortable’? That’s where I’ve been, and I think a lot of us know what that in-between space feels like. Some seasons feel fun — new school years, dating, getting married, having babies. You know what’s coming, and there’s something to look forward to. But other seasons feel… murky. You can’t see the whole picture, and it feels a little unsettling. I’ve been looking at Abraham’s story in Genesis, and wow — talk about living in the unknown. He’s moving from place to place, not really knowing what’s next. God gives him wild promises and asks him to do things that feel impossible or even contradictory. And yet, Abraham chooses to trust and obey — and God blesses him in every way.  I think the most vulnerable place isn’t the old season or even the new one — it’s that awkward in-between. It’s like when you repot a plant. The most fragile moment is when the roots are dangling in the air between the two pots. That’s where trust in the Gardener really matters. And it’s often in those moments that old fears, anxieties, or coping patterns pop back up, tempting us to run back to what’s familiar. Hebrews 11 reminds us that faith is the evidence of what we can’t see yet. It’s not vague or fluffy — it’s real and solid. And it even says without faith, it’s impossible to please God. Which means the not-knowing isn’t failure — it’s actually part of the plan. So here's what we're unpacking today: What Abraham’s story teaches us about faith in the unknown Why the in-between can feel so vulnerable How old patterns show up when you’re stepping into something new What faith really is and why it matters in transition Maybe this is a reminder for you, like it is for me: if you feel shaky or uncertain, if you’re tempted to run back to old patterns, if you’re hanging in that uncomfortable middle space, this is your invitation to trust God. Faith isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s trusting that even here, dangling between the old and the new, God knows exactly what He’s doing. HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

Have you ever felt angry and wondered why? In today’s episode of The Own It Podcast, I’m breaking down how unmet needs fuel anger and what you can do to get to the root of it. This is what we’re going after in this episode: Why anger shows up so often in everyday life — with kids, spouses, or even yourself The difference between primary emotions (fear, sadness, joy, etc.) and secondary emotions like anger How anger usually masks deeper feelings like fear, hurt, sadness, or shame The connection between anger and unmet needs Why your needs have to be about you, not about changing someone else A framework for understanding core human needs using the acronym SCRIPT: Safety + Security Connection + Belonging Rest, Recovery, Autonomy, Play Identity + Esteem Purpose + Significance To Be Seen, Known, Loved What happens when needs go unmet — anxiety, resentment, disconnection, even shutdown How to begin identifying and communicating your needs in a healthy way Why meeting your needs is trial and error, and how to stay curious in the process Anger isn’t the end of the story. It’s a signal pointing you to a deeper feeling and a real need. When you start naming those needs, you’ll find clarity, connection, and a way to thrive in every season and every relationship! HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

Today I’m sharing PART 3 of my 3-part series on maturity. I'm talking about what it really means to grow in maturity—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Maturity is what creates rich soil in our lives, where God can sow seeds that actually take root and bear lasting fruit. Jesus’ parable of the sower reminds us that shallow soil can’t sustain growth. If we stay immature—quick to anger, undisciplined, neglecting our quiet time with God—we simply won’t be able to handle the weight of promotion or blessing. God is a good Father, and He won’t give us more than our soil can hold. Unfortunately, there are so many things that can delay our development: unhealed trauma, lack of discipline, chronic stress, neglected emotional needs, fear of vulnerability, lack of self-awareness, unhealthy relationships, pride, and neglecting spiritual disciplines. I'm going to unpack each one, but wherever there is underdevelopment, immaturity will show up.  The truth is—cycles won’t break if we keep running to the same habits and comforts. But when we start exercising our will over our emotions, we build authority and maturity. We build trust with ourselves. And that’s when we position ourselves for breakthrough instead of staying stuck in the wilderness. It's time to grow up so you can step into the fullness of what God has for you! That's what we all want right?!  ✨ Final Reminder: The doors to Thrive Collective close TODAY! This is your last chance to join us for this semester. Go to www.comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive and use code THRIVETODAY at checkout to get your first month free. Enjoy the episode + I hope to see you inside Thrive!