Two Crones And A Book

In this Ramble, the crones unleash their most chaotic creative energy yet as they tackle the question nobody asked but everybody should: If you could give one fictional character a completely unnecessary makeover, who are you glam‑croning and why?Naturally, Chell and Annette take this prompt to unhinged heights transforming iconic characters into versions of themselves that absolutely did not need to exist.🧙‍♀️Annette’s Glam‑Crone MakeoverPhantom of the Opera → Modern‑Day Tech Billionaire Annette drags the dramatic masked menace straight into Silicon Valley, where he becomes a brooding tech mogul disrupting opera with questionable apps, algorithmic angst, and venture‑capital cape couture.🧙‍♀️Chell’s Glam‑Crone MakeoversMiss Havisham → Decay‑Positive Lifestyle GuruGreat Expectations by Charles Dickens Chell reimagines Miss Havisham as a rot‑core wellness influencer who turns mould into a mindset and heartbreak into a brand.Lisa Evans → Liminal Transit WitchPlatform 7 by Louise Doughty Lisa becomes a spectral commuter‑crone haunting train stations with petty magic and emotional wisdom.Hercule Poirot → Fussy Hedge Witch DetectiveThe Mysterious Affair at Styles (and many others) by Agatha Christie Poirot becomes a cottage‑core witch solving tiny village disputes withherb lore and passive‑aggressive tea readings.It’s a ramble full of laughter, witchy nonsense, and makeovers nobody asked for but everyone will enjoy. Grab a drink, settle in, and let the crones glam‑crone their way through literature’s most unsuspecting characters. 

📚Chat n Cackle: Summer Reads & What’s Next (and it’s a long one!)This Chat n Cackle is a gloriously oversized one, a full hour of bookish chaos as Chell and Annette unpack everything they devoured over the summer, what they’re currently reading, and the titles already haunting their TBRs. It’s longer than usual because, frankly, the crones had a lot to say.🧙‍♀️ Chell’s Summer StackChell takes a tour through courtroom suspense in Judge Stone by Viola Davies & James Patterson, the creeping dread of Starving Saints by Caitlin Starling, and the reflective emotional journey of The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. She also shares two bite-sized horrors, Helpmeet by Naben Ruthnum and Crossroads by Laurel Hightower, plus the vampiric chills of The Brides by Charlotte Cross, the powerful historical fiction of The Women by Kristin Hannah, and the tense mystery of The Caretaker by Marcus Kiewer.📖 Now Reading: Cabin in the Woods by Sarah Alderson 🔮 Next Up: The House at Phantom Park by Graham Masterton 🧙‍♀️ Annette’s Recent ReadsAnnette brings an equally eclectic pile, starting with the uncanny and unmatched Knock Knock Open Wide by Neil Sharpson and the eerie and wonderfully bizarre Crypt of the Moon Spider by Nathan Ballingrud. She also dives into epic adventures of The HMRC (Her Majesty's Royal Coven) Trilogy by Juno Dawson, the survival-driven tension of What We Did to Survive by Megan Lally, and the heartfelt contemporary fiction of Things You Save in a Fire by Katherine Center.📖 Now Reading: Graveyard Shifts by M. L. Rio, Helen of Nowhere by Makenna Goodman, and Mythos by Stephen Fry 🔮 Next Up:Clown in a Cornfield 4 – Lights! Camera! Frendo! by Adam CesareIt’s a longer episode, but that just means more laughs, more recommendations, and more chances to grow your already unmanageable TBR pile. Grab a drink, get comfy, and settle in for an hour with the Two Crones.#twocronesandabook #summerreads # books #podcast #funny 

This week on Two Crones and a Book, we’re confessing thetruly unhinged places we’ve cracked open a book. From questionable public seating to wildly inconvenient life moments, we reveal the spots where our need to read absolutely overpowered common sense. Expect cackling, judgement (mostly of ourselves), and the comforting knowledge that no matter where you’ve read… we’ve probably readsomewhere stranger. SPOILERS, MATURE THEMES AND LANGUAGE SOME LISTENERS MAY FIND OFFENSIVE. Contact us on: ⁠[email protected]⁠ #TwoCronesAndABook #ChaoticReaders #UnhingedReadingSpots#BookishRamble #CroneEnergy 

This week on Two Crones and a Book, the bingo wheel whisked the crones back in time — to stories born long before either of them arrived on this earth. And oh, did they dig up some strange treasures.Chell plunged into The Beetle by Richard Marsh, a gloriously bizarre slice of Victorian horror packed with melodrama, shapeshifting menace, and enough gothic chaos to make even Dracula look like he needs to up his game. She unravels the wild plot twists, the theatrical dread, and the deliciously unhinged energy that only 1890s fiction can deliver.Annette, meanwhile, explored The Birds by Frank Baker — the eerie, atmospheric novel that pre‑dated Hitchcock and brought a quieter, more creeping sense of dread to the idea of nature turning against us. She dives into its slow‑burn tension, its uncanny mood, and the unsettling feeling that something feathered is always watching.Together, the crones compare two very different flavours of vintage terror — one campy and chaotic, one quiet and creeping — and celebrate the strange magic of reading stories from decades past. It’s another bingo adventure full of cackles, analysis, and peak crone energy.SPOILERS, MATURE THEMES AND LANGUAGE SOME LISTENERS MAY FIND OFFENSIVE. Contact us on: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠ #TwoCronesAndABook #BookPodcast #BookDiscussion #BookCommunity #BookBingo #ReadingBingo #VintageReads #BeforeWeWereBorn #TheBeetle #RichardMarsh #VictorianHorror #GothicFiction #TheBirds #FrankBaker #ClassicCreeps #OldSchoolHorror #CroneEnergy #ChaoticReaders #BookishChaos #CronesWhoRead

 This week on Two Crones and a Book, we open the dustycupboard of literary shame and ask the big question: Which book would you confidently lie about having read?Join us as we confess the classics we’ve dodged, the doorstoppers we’ve pretended to ‘love’ and the titles we only know from memes. Expect cackling, guilt‑free honesty, and the occasional dramatic gasp as weexpose each other’s bookish secrets.SPOILERS, MATURE THEMES AND LANGUAGE SOME LISTENERS MAYFIND OFFENSIVE. Contact us on: ⁠[email protected]⁠ #TwoCronesAndABook #BookishConfessions #RambleEpisode#LiteraryLies #BookPodcast