Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:After 37 years of marriage marked by sexual betrayal and addiction, my husband left for another woman, leaving deep trauma and guilt in his wake. I wrestle with regret, self-blame, and grief after years of prayer and perseverance. How do I heal from this betrayal, forgive him, and release the past so I can build a sane, hopeful future?More than four years after discovering decades of hidden infidelity, I’m still living with trauma, unanswered questions, and confusion about what true recovery even looks like. Therapy helped, but accountability, boundaries, and honest dialogue were never addressed. Am I wrong to keep seeking clarity and healing, or is moving forward impossible without real transparency and shared responsibility?I’m lost and devastated, struggling to trust my husband’s recovery, transparency, and willingness to include me rather than keep me at a distance. Unless I push, he shares nothing, leaving me questioning his honesty and commitment. How much should I pursue involvement in his recovery, and how can I rebuild any level of trust without losing myself in the process?Bonus Question:Dear Ashley and Heather: So much of your counsel includes suggesting to “find individual therapists.” But not all therapists are created equal. Can you please help your listeners- including me - get a sanity check on what effective “sex addiction therapy” should look like: what are the key components and key indicators that recovery is happening for the addict spouse? I’m asking because after three years of my husband seeing a therapist known for his specialty in sex addiction, my husband has made minimal to no real progress. My husband has shown an exceptional level of resistance to doing the hard work, but I only just recently learned about CSAT certification. Could having a therapist that follows a more loose style of "what are you coming in with today" be a factor?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:Why do I keep going back to porn or affairs even when I genuinely want to stop? I’ve prayed, made promises, installed accountability, and genuinely meant it—yet somehow I still find myself back here. Each relapse leaves me more confused and ashamed, wondering why my desire to change doesn’t seem to be enough.Is this really an addiction—or am I just a bad person? Part of me wants an explanation, and part of me fears it doesn’t exist. I worry that if this isn’t an addiction, then the problem is simply who I am—and that maybe I’m beyond real change.I specifically struggle with having a crush on my husband’s best friend. I hate that my mind goes places I don’t want it to, even with people I care about and would never want to hurt. I feel trapped between my thoughts, my shame, and my fear of what this says about my heart. How do I stop objectifying men and start seeing them as people again?Listen NowIf you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:Nearly two years after betrayal and decades of marriage, I’m trying to coexist with a husband in recovery who seeks help but struggles to empathize with my pain. I feel unseen, fearful of being on my own, and unsure whether healing together is possible. Is coexistence enough, or am I denying what my heart truly needs?I am working on my safety action plan and I feel that I’ve been unsafe for so long, I don’t know where to start establishing safety. How can I reconnect with that feeling?I’m grateful for the support I’ve found, yet I’m still deeply triggered by anxiety and mistrust, even as I see my husband growing in recovery and faith. Nightmares and small moments spiral into painful fears I can’t seem to stop. Will these triggers ever ease, and how do I regain a sense of safety and peace again?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!Resources:The Betrayal BindOut of the DoghouseWorthy of Her TrustHelp Her Heal Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:I’ve been married twenty years and have lived with the quiet pain of my husband’s porn use, avoidance, and lack of accountability. I’ve pursued healing alone while he remains passive, leaving me stuck between guilt, anger, and resentment—especially amid his health struggles. How do I break this cycle and decide what’s truly healthy for me and our marriage?Fifteen months after discovery and nearly two decades of marriage, I’m deeply wounded by my husband’s sexual betrayal. We went through two disclosures and two polygraphs before everything was finally revealed (recording us during sex and sharing nude pics of me in chat rooms, among other things). Though he’s now in strong recovery, I’ve felt alone in my healing until hearing a similar story on a recent Unfiltered episode. Is this pattern common in sexual addiction, and how do betrayed partners find real support and hope?I started a B&B group 5 months before my husband—he just started Seven Pillars. I definitely want full-disclosure, but the weight of knowing more pain is coming and not knowing the full truth yet has been difficult to manage. What advice do you have to prepare for the full-disclosure process? What suggestions do you have for post-disclosure self-care?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at  unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!Resources:Honesty Vs. Disclosure - PD Podcast 'Honestly Speaking' Blog Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:My husband’s past pornography addiction and my own history of sex and love addiction make occasional new sexual behaviors triggering for me. When something unexpected happens, I feel unsafe and disconnected. We want to keep exploring intimacy without activating those fears. How can we experiment in ways that feel safe for both of us?I’ve found guidance and healing through your podcast, counseling, and trusted couples while navigating my husband’s secret pornography use throughout our marriage. We want to address shame and growth without oversharing. How can we share what we’ve learned about marriage and God’s healing power in ways that honor our privacy yet support others?I want to support my spouse through their sexual addiction without overstepping or causing shame. How do I provide healthy accountability and encouragement?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:My husband’s past pornography addiction and my own history of sex and love addiction make occasional new sexual behaviors triggering for me. When something unexpected happens, I feel unsafe and disconnected. We want to keep exploring intimacy without activating those fears. How can we experiment in ways that feel safe for both of us?I’ve found guidance and healing through your podcast, counseling, and trusted couples while navigating my husband’s secret pornography use throughout our marriage. We want to address shame and growth without oversharing. How can we share what we’ve learned about marriage and God’s healing power in ways that honor our privacy yet support others?I want to support my spouse through their sexual addiction without overstepping or causing shame. How do I provide healthy accountability and encouragement?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:One of my group members is struggling after discovering his wife’s year-long affair, which began after he pressured her to watch pornography with him and she became addicted herself. They are seeing a counselor locally. What resources would you recommend to help them navigate betrayal, addiction, and rebuilding their marriage?I have a hard time stopping things when they begin getting too sexual. I want to date and eventually get married, but I have a hard time trusting myself and setting reasonable boundaries without scaring off every guy. Do men really want a woman who won’t be sexual?I worry my past sexual behaviors or compulsions will prevent me from experiencing healthy intimacy. How can I reconcile my history while moving forward in sexual wholeness?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!Resources:PD Podcast w/ Cyndie & DustyOut of The Dog House BookAll Our ToolsDaring Ventures (Dr. Jake Porter)APSATS Coaches List Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:Since discovery, I’ve worked hard to heal my sexuality and past trauma, as well as the impact of my husband’s addiction. I fight against resentment while still longing for emotional closeness with him, which often leads to wanting sexual intimacy too. I’m unsure if these desires are healthy or normal. Is this normal?After 37 years of marriage, I discovered my husband had an emotional affair for two months. Though he’s remorseful and loving me more than ever, I’m devastated, struggling to trust, and questioning God. I want to heal and move forward—how can I restore peace and trust in my heart?I am looking for some resources or guidance on navigating betrayal trauma and having a new baby. The feeling of baby blues on top of trauma from a recent disclosure of sexual addiction from my husband is overwhelming.If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:- My husband and I are 3.5 years post-discovery, yet he still avoids taking ownership for issues tied to his long-term sexual addiction unless pressured. As Christians, I feel truth-telling should be shared, not one-sided, and I’m troubled this wasn’t addressed earlier in our counseling. How can I move forward?- After 27 years of marriage, I discovered my husband’s long-term emotional and physical infidelities, causing severe trauma. Therapy didn’t address full disclosure, boundaries, or cessation of contact with his affair partners. He avoids discussing the past and blames me for focusing on it. How can I truly move forward and heal?- After 30 years of marriage, I’ve discovered my husband secretly recorded us having sex despite my boundaries, causing deep feelings of violation and exploitation. He shows little affection and hasn’t sought help, while I’m in counseling and a recovery group. Is it reasonable for me to feel done with the marriage?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videosResources:Is It Me?If He's So Great Why Do I Feel So Bad?The Emotionally Destructive MarriageSurviving an Unwanted Divorce Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:- What books would you recommend reading to help me understand sex and orgasm?- After 18 years of marriage and repeated betrayals by my husband, I’ve been divorced for two years and abstinent, yet I struggle with a strong sexual desire I’m unaccustomed to outside marriage. How can I navigate these desires faithfully while waiting for a godly partner?- I keep having dreams about sex and cheating on my husband. I wake up feeling guilty. Is this a reflection of my character, and is there a way to make the dreams stop?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:- My husband’s parents are loving and generous, but since D-Day, he hasn’t been honest with them about his actions or the consequences. He was fired and had to hire a lawyer due to his acting out behaviors. I’ve become his secret keeper, which leaves me resentful and conflicted. How much truth should I share with his parents without oversharing but so they know it’s gone beyond porn use?- I’m almost finished with my first Betrayed & Beyond group, and while the community has been incredibly helpful, I’ve also felt isolated. Few seem to understand the added burden of legal issues from a spouse’s acting out. What support exists for those of us navigating court or jail situations while choosing to stay?- In the midst of the betrayal, how do you hold on to hope that this too shall pass?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!Resources:Group Leader TrainingFemale Groups Point of Contact - kellyj@puredesire.orgMale Groups Point of Contact - stuartb@puredesire.org Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:Does PD counseling include diving into family of origin trauma such as enmeshment between a parent and a child?Through my healing I’ve learned a lot about attachment styles. My young adult daughter doesn’t have an obvious attachment style and doesn’t seem interested in pursuing life outside of our home. Why do you think this is?Recently discovered our teenage daughter is reading smut. We have had ongoing conversations about how our sexuality is a gift from God. Our kids are also aware of my husband’s struggle and that we’re 5 years into this process. How would you approach the conversation to not shame her?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!Resources:Girl TalkYYL Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:- In a dating context, how much recovery should my boyfriend have from sexual addiction prior to us stepping into marriage?- I’m leading an Authentically You group, and several young women are sharing about their fiancés’ struggles with porn. They seem determined to marry despite hidden worries. I know the heartbreak and struggle that likely awaits these young women. As someone whose husband is in long-term recovery, I feel torn—should I directly warn them not to marry without real help and sobriety?- I’m in my late 20s and dating someone who’s been in recovery for sexual addiction through groups and counseling. I’ve also been through Betrayal & Beyond. Despite his efforts, he hasn’t maintained consistent sobriety, and I feel heartbroken and powerless. I want to believe in his healing, but should I keep dating him or step back for my own healing?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!  Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:More women are coming to group with strangulation trauma as part of the abuse they’ve gone through. I recently had a woman in group who had experienced this and ended up with a blood clot in her neck that could have been life threatening. How do we learn more/have better awareness around this?What is the best way to handle spiritualizers in your group—especially if they are spiritualizing the situations of other group members in group conversations. It can be difficult to navigate those conversations in a group setting.In group, I’ve heard others talk about emotional affairs—how do you define an emotional affair?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!Resources:PD 50 Shades of Grey Review Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:Even though I'm faithful to my husband, and love him dearly, I lust and fantasize and my maladaptive daydreaming is out of control. How do I navigate these waters? Is this past trauma and my need for control? Where do I start with healing?I stopped my own porn use three years ago after finding out about my husband’s addiction, but I never really addressed it or worked through it — I just buried it. What steps should I take now to deal with the patterns and wounds that may still be affecting my mental health and my relationship with him?Why do I want to masturbate after being hurt by my husband? Do I have an addiction or is it a hurt cycle I am going through? Is it because he hurt me and I don't want to have sex with him and am trying to get my own needs met?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at  unfiltered@puredesire.orgWe can’t wait to hear from you!Resources:The Fantasy Fallacy Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:How do I not hate or resent my husband when I grieve the inability to try to have more children because we have a sexless marriage due to the trauma of his addiction?Can you speak to sexual anorexia after betrayal? It's been 5 years since my husband and I have had sex. He thinks I should be willing to try, but I recoil every time he touches me. I can barely kiss him. I've been through B&B three times (as a leader twice). He has been through Seven Pillars five times, and has been a leader for 4 or 5  years. I discovered his betrayal in 2013.My husband is well on his way to recovery and I am so grateful for all his work, but I’m realizing I need more help myself. Now that he has made me the desires of his sexual pleasure, I find that I am more cautious and suspicious of his sexual advances. I’m always analytical about where his needs are coming from. What should I do?Listen NowIf you have a question you’d like us to answer on  Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org.We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:- I’ve felt the harm of purity culture, but I’m confused by the reaction against it—where modesty seems dismissed altogether. I see Christian women dressing in ways that feel extreme, and I wonder if immodesty reflects deeper heart issues. Is there still space to talk about healthy modesty without sounding judgmental?- I was told having expectations is wrong, but I disagree. I don’t expect perfection—just honesty, fidelity, empathy, and repentance without blame. My husband says I expect too much, but aren’t these just the basics of a healthy marriage? Where’s the line between reasonable expectations and unrealistic standards?- My husband and I have been in recovery for years. I’m the higher drive spouse, wanting intimacy more often, but I’ve stopped initiating because I feel rejected or like a burden. When he finally is in the mood, I freeze and feel disconnected—even when it’s genuine. Why do I shut down in the moments I actually crave most?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!Resources:The Good Girl’s Guide to Great SexThe Good Guy’s Guide to Great SexThe Gift of SexThe Couple’s Guide to Intimacy Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:- I was married for 30 years and I didn’t understand the depth of my husband’s porn addiction until about 8 years ago. He refused to seek help and he recently passed away, so I am doing this recovery alone. About 9 months ago, I found him at his place of business, deceased, in front of his computer masturbating to porn. I have signed up for Betrayal & Beyond. I am wondering if my situation is unique and if this group has anything that touches on my particular trauma?- Eighteen months ago, I learned my husband had a two-year affair—with a woman I considered a close friend. We’re healing, and I’ve forgiven him, but I can’t move past her betrayal. Why aren’t there more resources on forgiving and healing from infidelity when the other woman was also a trusted friend?- My husband has not been officially tested, but we wonder if he is high functioning autistic. In what ways does neurodiversity affect the addict's healing process? Are there practical ways to modify or approach support if this is part of the picture?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!Resources:Grief ShareIs This Autism?PD Podcast w/ Jenna Riemersma Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:- I am single right now, but every time I get in the shower I think about when I get married and if my husband will want to take a shower with me. I don't want my husband in the shower. So how would I tell him no without hurting him?- I'm a follower of Christ. I was sexually abused several times as a child, I struggled with same-sex attraction most of my life, and I am still single. How do I engage my sexual desires at this stage in a healthy way, knowing that I want to honor God above all?- I am 47 years old and single. I’m having a lot of anxiety about the idea of having sex when I’m married. I want to be married, but I’m afraid sex will hurt, I won’t know how to act, and I don’t even want to have an orgasm. How do I handle all of these thoughts and fears?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from youResources:The Wounded Heart Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:- After 9 years of repeated porn discoveries in my marriage, we're now heading into an intensive with a polygraph. It’s our first time using one, and I feel lost on what to ask. What questions truly bring clarity and healing? What are the top questions a betrayed spouse should ask when preparing for a polygraph?- After years of betrayal, broken promises, and failed recovery attempts, I separated from my husband and began the divorce process. Now he says he wants to reconcile—but I still see addiction, denial, and little change. I love him, but I feel unseen, blamed, and unsafe. Am I holding onto hope, or just delaying the inevitable?- We’ve been in recovery since 2013 with every tool imaginable, yet my husband never stays sober longer than three months. I carry the emotional weight, manage our home and kids, and suffer the consequences of his choices. I'm exhausted, angry, and feel stuck. I want to leave. Why am I the one paying for his addiction and failures?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!Resources:Dr. Jill Manning's ArticleGood Boundaries & GoodbyeDivorce Pure Desire Podcast Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.