Identified with Nabil Ayers

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers sits down with bestselling author and literary agent Betsy Lerner to explore identity, family history, and the complicated path to becoming a writer. Betsy reflects on her upbringing, the influence of her family, and how personal experiences eventually shaped both her writing and her career in publishing. Known for her work as a literary agent as well as her acclaimed memoirs and books on writing, Betsy has spent decades helping writers uncover the stories only they can tell. The conversation explores how identity, family dynamics, and cultural background can influence the stories we carry and the stories we are willing to share. Betsy also reflects on the emotional challenge of writing personal material, the tension between honesty and vulnerability, and why the most powerful writing often comes from confronting the truths we try hardest to avoid. This is a thoughtful discussion about storytelling, memory, and the role writing plays in helping us understand where we come from. Guest: Betsy Lerner Host: Nabil Ayers Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Produced by Palm Tree IslandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever found community through your art? In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers sits down with musician Ryan Kattner to talk about growing up in an Air Force family, moving every three years, and never quite feeling rooted in one place. Ryan reflects on being mixed race, with a Filipino mother and a white father, and how navigating different cultural spaces shaped his sense of identity. He shares what it was like to feel caught between worlds, passing in some environments while feeling out of place in others. The conversation explores how constant movement shaped his understanding of family, where friends often became family, and how music eventually became a space where he felt understood and connected. Ryan also talks about the realities of life on the road, the bond that forms between musicians, and how creativity can help process loss and major life moments.   Guest: Ryan Kattner Host: Nabil Ayers Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Produced and Distributed by: Palm Tree IslandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How much of who we are is shaped before we ever have a say? In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers sits down with musician Damon McMahon, formally Amen Dunes, to explore how family history, inherited trauma, and cultural identity shape who we become. Damon reflects on growing up between two very different worlds: his mother’s side of European Jewish Holocaust survival and his father’s working-class Irish American roots. He shares stories of how these legacies lived quietly in his family — sometimes spoken, often unspoken — and how they influenced his sense of self from an early age. The conversation moves through complicated family dynamics, childhood instability, and the ways creativity can act as a private space for processing what’s difficult to articulate. Damon talks candidly about how his music has long been a way of exploring identity, releasing emotion, and trying to understand the forces that shaped him. They also discuss how becoming a parent reshaped his understanding of family — not as something inherited, but something actively created.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does it mean to raise yourself across cultures—and carry tradition forward through food? In this episode of Identified, chef and author Camille Becerra sits down with host Nabil Ayers for a heartfelt conversation about family, identity, and the life-shaping power of memory. Born in Puerto Rico to a Puerto Rican mother and Cuban father, Camille moved to New Jersey at just one year old and grew up between cultures, languages, and generations. She reflects on growing up with a single mother, navigating a distant relationship with her father, and finding connection through her Puerto Rican family’s rituals—like traveling alone as a child to visit cousins, or waking early to buy bread from the local bakery. Food became her anchor and a bridge to memory and belonging. Camille opens up about defining family on her own terms, the blurred lines between relatives and chosen loved ones, and what it means to pass down tradition through flavor. Guest: Camille Becerra Host: Nabil Ayers Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Production by Palm Tree Island See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is Blood Really Family? In this episode of Identified, host Nabil Ayers sits down with Traci Thomas, creator and host of The Stacks Podcast, to explore the deeply personal terrain of identity, family, and legacy. Traci opens up about growing up mixed-race with older parents, navigating loss at a young age, and the impact of her Black and Jewish heritage on how she views belonging. Their conversation weaves through themes of grief, motherhood, and emotional inheritance, as Traci reflects on what it meant to lose her father in her twenties—and how that absence continues to shape her relationship to parenting and selfhood. She shares insights on the expansive nature of chosen family, the cultural roots of inclusion in Black and Jewish communities, and the quiet power of forging your own path in the absence of clear models. Traci’s honesty about not feeling naturally inclined to motherhood—while fully embracing the role—offers a fresh and nuanced view of modern parenting. This episode challenges traditional definitions of family, makes space for contradiction, and honors the complexity of claiming one’s story. Guest: Traci Thomas Host: Nabil Ayers Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Production by: Palm Tree IslandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers is joined by acclaimed comedian, actor, and musician Tim Heidecker for an unexpectedly candid conversation about ancestry, grief, and identity. Tim traces the impact of family tragedy across generations—from the death of his grandfather’s mother in childbirth, to the sudden loss of a sibling in his father’s childhood, and how that cascade of trauma subtly shaped his own upbringing in suburban Pennsylvania. He reflects on the weight of generational loss, the evolution from a tight-knit extended family to one defined by chosen bonds, and how becoming a father redefined his understanding of connection, vulnerability, and care. With humor and heart, Tim shares how he's created a nurturing and playful environment for his own children—while still reckoning with the echoes of the past. This episode explores themes of grief, resilience, chosen family, and the quiet strength it takes to raise a family differently. Guest: Tim Heidecker Host: Nabil Ayers Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Production by Palm Tree IslandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if your most formative identity traits come from people you didn’t grow up with? In this powerful episode of Identified, rapper and queer icon Cakes Da Killa reflects on growing up in Teaneck, New Jersey, raised by his teenage mother and grandmother. He shares openly about the complexities of reconciling with an absent father, discovering inherited traits in unexpected family members, and why — as a queer person — chosen family has always played a central role in his life. This episode touches on: Intergenerational strength from women in his family The slow repair of fractured paternal relationships The trauma of losing family homes and generational wealth The nuance of chosen vs. biological family And why his mother’s strength remains his biggest inspiration With clarity, wit, and raw honesty, Cakes shows that family — like identity — is something you get to define on your own terms.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, host Nabil Ayers speaks with Bandsplain host Yasi Salek, who shares a moving, honest account of growing up Iranian-American in 1980s Los Angeles. Yasi discusses her family’s immigration story post-Iranian revolution, her experience being the “other” in a predominantly white community, and the identity conflict that shaped her early life — including moments of rebellion in pursuit of American assimilation. The conversation explores the nuances of Middle Eastern family dynamics, the pressures of cultural tradition, and the value of commitment — both in blood ties and chosen families. Yasi reflects on a formative high school chapter in Singapore, her deep bond with her cousins, and the remarkable legacy of her grandfather: a communist, a vegetarian in the 1920s, and an enduring symbol of independence and personal philosophy. Guest: Yasi Salek Host: Nabil Ayers Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, host Nabil Ayers is joined by Jad Abumrad—artist, musician, journalist, and creator of Radiolab, Dolly Parton’s America, More Perfect, and Fela Kuti: Fear No Man—for a conversation about grief, family history, and what it means to belong to a culture you weren’t fully given.Jad shares stories from his Lebanese family: a great-grandmother whose ring he lost in the sea, a grandfather who buried his mother on the side of the road at age 10, and a father who narrowly survived a civil war and brought his entire extended family to Tennessee. But it’s only in recent years that Jad began to ask the deeper questions: What actually happened in Lebanon? Why did his family never talk about it? And what does it mean to claim a cultural identity that was never fully passed down?We also talk about: Growing up Arab in the U.S. during the Iran hostage crisis and 9/11 His early reporting in Lebanon and how it helped shape his voice The grief that shaped his family, and the one loss that reshuffled everything Choosing to raise kids with a sense of inherited identity—even when you didn’t grow up with one yourself Jad’s story is a moving reminder that family is built not just on what we’re given—but also on what we ask, uncover, and pass forward. Guest: Jad AbumradHost: Nabil AyersExecutive Producer: Kieron BanerjiProduced by: Palm Tree IslandMusic by: Noella & Patricia BrennanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nabil Ayers is joined by writer Casey Kahn, who opens up about her personal journey through adoption, identity, and ancestry. Casey was adopted at two days old, raised by a deeply loving family in a tight-knit home—but everything changed when she had her own children and began searching for answers about her origins. With the help of 23andMe, private investigators, and a handful of uncanny coincidences, Casey uncovered a complex and heartbreaking family history, including two biological siblings she had never met—and a mother struggling with severe mental illness who had given each of them away. Through humor, heartbreak, and honesty, Casey reflects on: Growing up adopted and feeling like she “fell from the sky” The emotional impact of meeting her birth siblings as an adult How giving birth sparked a deeper urgency to understand where she came from Her mother’s refusal to engage, and the power—and pain—of seeing her face-to-face Guest: Casey Kahn Host: Nabil Ayers Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Produced by: Palm Tree IslandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this deeply personal episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers is joined by Dani Shapiro, the bestselling author and host of the podcast Family Secrets. Dani shares the stunning revelation that changed her life: learning through a DNA test that the man who raised her was not her biological father. Raised in an Orthodox Jewish family with deep cultural and religious roots, Dani takes us through the unraveling of family secrets, the discovery of a new biological lineage, and the complex emotional terrain of love, loss, and identity. She reflects on what it means to belong—to a culture, to a religion, to a family—and how nurture, nature, and narrative intertwine. From her father’s hidden marriages and a poetic Aunt Shirley who preserved generations of Jewish family history, to the new “sister-friend” she never knew she had, Dani's story expands the idea of what family can be. Together, Dani and Nabil explore the paradox of knowing and unknowing, and the quiet power of claiming your own truth in a world full of assumptions.   Guest: Dani Shapiro Host: Nabil Ayers Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Produced by Palm Tree IslandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers is joined by Devi Mambouka, the artist and producer behind Masma Dream World, for a reflective conversation on ancestry, spirituality, and chosen family. Born in Gabon and raised by her mother’s Bengali side of the family, Devi opens up about the early disconnection from her father’s culture and how she set on a journey to rediscover the Gabonese side of her identity—through food, music, language, and spirit. The conversation explores the power of rituals, especially around cooking and feeding others, as a way to form bonds, process grief, and reclaim lost traditions. “If I cook for you,” Devi says, “you’re family.”This is one of the most spiritually resonant conversations in the series so far. Host: Nabil AyersGuest: Masma Dream World (Devi Mambouka)Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Produced by Palm Tree IslandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers sits down with David Cross—Emmy-winning comedian, writer, and actor, best known for Mr. Show with Bob and David, Arrested Development, and The Ben Stiller Show. Over the course of his career, David has earned multiple Emmy and Grammy nominations and shared three SAG Award nominations for Outstanding Ensemble in a Comedy Series. Behind his sharp wit and cultural commentary lies a turbulent upbringing: frequent evictions, extreme poverty, a volatile father who vanished, and a mother doing everything she could to stay afloat. David recounts how those early years shaped him—not just as a comic, but as a person still reckoning with identity, responsibility, and what it means to create a different life for your own child. They explore themes of Jewish identity, inherited trauma, the gradual disconnection from his British-Jewish extended family, and the firm decision to cut off contact with his father—despite living in the same city for over 20 years. Now a father himself, David reflects on the gravity of being present, the legacy of emotional absence, and the quiet work of choosing a better path than the one you came from. Guest: David Cross. Host: Nabil Ayers. Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji. Identified is produced and distributed by Palm Tree Island.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers talks with Youngmi Mayer—comedian, author, and host of the acclaimed Feeling Asian podcast—about growing up biracial in South Korea, the long shadow of generational trauma, and the unresolvable contradictions that shape our identities. Youngmi, who was born in Korea to a Korean mother and white American father, opens up about the deep stigma around mixed-race children in Korean society—stories that include institutional rejection and even state violence in recent history. She shares how being “slightly different” in appearance made her feel completely othered, despite speaking Korean fluently and being raised in Korean culture. The conversation travels through her complex ancestry—including the discovery of Jewish lineage through a 23andMe test that rewrote part of her family history—and the paradox of being descended from both Jewish people and German Nazis. Mayer speaks candidly about intergenerational trauma, including a family legacy shaped by war, loss, and silence, and how these inherited narratives continue to affect how she views success, emotion, and even motherhood. As a single mother co-parenting her son with her ex-husband, Youngmi reflects on building a version of family that defies tradition. She’s blunt, funny, and brilliant as she challenges romanticized notions of family, while still admitting to the deep, inescapable bonds that tether her to her roots. This episode is a powerful meditation on biracial identity, cultural belonging, and what it means to both honor and critique the families that raised us. Host: Nabil AyersGuest: Youngmi MayerExecutive Producer: Kieron BanerjiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this standout episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers sits down with EGOT-winning artist, activist, and cultural icon John Legend to talk about family, race, ancestry, and the stories that shape who we are. John opens up about growing up in a tightly knit Black church community in Ohio, being surrounded by music, and taking piano lessons from age four—learning gospel by ear from his grandmother and classical from a local teacher. But behind the harmony was hardship. He shares how the early loss of his grandmother led to his mother’s decade-long absence and how that trauma shaped his sense of home, responsibility, and resilience. The conversation traces his family lineage, including revelations from his appearance on Finding Your Roots—stories of enslaved ancestors, a great-grandmother who could have passed for white, and a landmark court case in Ohio that secured his family’s freedom generations ago. It’s a deeply personal look at the complexities of Black American identity. John also talks about raising four children with his wife, Chrissy Teigen, and what it means to parent a multicultural, multiracial family in the spotlight. From Thai temples to Black church traditions, he reflects on how he and Chrissy are teaching their children to embrace their mixed heritage and proudly identify as Black, Asian, and Blasian. This is an episode about legacy—musical, cultural, and personal—and what it means to know where you come from, even when some stories were almost lost.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers is joined by Laura Lee, founding member and bassist of the globally acclaimed band Khruangbin, for a vulnerable and wide-ranging conversation about family, ancestry, identity—and what it means to raise a child while on tour. Laura shares the emotional story of her parents’ abrupt separation when she was just six years old, a rupture that left her bouncing between homes and questioning the meaning of “family.” She talks about the pain of being labeled a “rebel” as a teen when she was simply hurting—and how the emotional safety she found in her grandparents’ home shaped her sense of belonging more than anything else. The episode also dives into her Mexican and Spanish lineage, including a fascinating (and literal) claim to South Padre Island through a centuries-old lawsuit. Now a mother herself, Laura talks candidly about touring with her baby and partner, carving a path for motherhood in an industry with no blueprint. She calls her Khruangbin bandmates her family, describing their deep trust, creative intimacy, and the joy her daughter has brought to the entire touring crew. This is a story about making peace with the past, building your own version of home, and finding family in both bloodlines and bandmates. Host: Nabil Ayers Guest: Laura Lee (Khruangbin) Executive Producer: Kieron BanerjiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers sits down with acclaimed artist, author, and entrepreneur, Chase Jarvis, for a candid and deeply reflective conversation about family, memory, and the evolving nature of connection. Chase talks about growing up as an only child in a tightly knit but unusually small family—no cousins, no siblings, and early exposure to adult conversations. He reflects on a childhood full of contrasts: thrift and sacrifice at home, but also travel across Europe thanks to his parents’ clever savings and his dad’s unexpected connections to pro athletes and musicians. Much of the conversation centers around grief. Chase opens up about the recent loss of his mother to Alzheimer’s and how it’s changed his understanding of family, purpose, and presence. He shares the strange beauty of feeling closer to her now than he did in the decade before she died, and what it’s like stepping into a new role of caretaker and companion for his father. Through stories of childhood creativity, repressed artistic urges, and a life that’s circled back to his creative roots, Chase brings warmth, honesty, and insight into the evolving role of family—how it’s inherited, how it’s chosen, and how we hold onto it, even as it changes shape.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this profoundly personal episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers speaks with musician, actor, and visual artist Tunde Adebimpe—best known as a founding member of TV on the Radio—about identity, ancestry, and surviving deep personal loss. Tunde traces his journey from growing up between Pittsburgh and Nigeria, through his family’s expectations, to building an unconventional artistic path grounded in music, animation, and punk culture. He shares vivid memories of his Nigerian roots, his father’s gentle influence, and his extended family’s blend of spiritual traditions—from Baptist Christianity to Yoruba priestesses. Much of the conversation centers around grief. Tunde opens up about the heartbreaking losses of his father, his older brother, his bandmate Gerard Smith, his closest friend, and most recently, his younger sister. He reflects on how creativity, community, and fatherhood have helped him navigate the void—and how his daughter’s compassion gave him a reason to keep moving forward. This is an episode about what it means to lose family—and to hold on even tighter to those who remain.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers is joined by acclaimed musician and author Neko Case for a powerful, wide-ranging conversation about inherited silence, cultural disconnection, and what it means to choose your own family. Neko shares the experience of growing up with emotionally unavailable parents—her mother absent by choice, her father quietly burdened by trauma—and the deep loneliness that shaped her early years. She reflects on the generations of silence in her Ukrainian family, including the erasure of language and identity, and the heartbreak of losing family records in a house fire. In a surprising and moving twist, Neko recounts discovering a great-aunt—professional wrestler Ella Waldek—through a documentary. Their connection offered a rare sense of validation, visibility, and power within a lineage that otherwise remained unspoken. The conversation explores found family, the responsibilities of being a stepparent, and how Neko has redefined her role within a fractured past. Host: Nabil Ayers Guest: Neko Case Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Production Company and Network: Palm Tree IslandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In the premiere of Identified Season Two, Nabil Ayers speaks with musician and activist Tom Morello about his extraordinary upbringing and journey toward understanding his identity. Tom shares stories about his trailblazing mother—an adventurous white teacher from a small Illinois town who raised him alone as a Black child in a segregated suburb—and the complex legacy of his absent Kenyan father. Their conversation traverses generational resilience, the racism Tom faced growing up in Libertyville, Illinois, and the emotional reckoning of meeting his father for the first time at age 30. Tom discusses finding belonging in unexpected places: among childhood friends, through music, and ultimately, with the Kenyan family he never knew he had. He also opens up about being a sperm donor in the '90s—and the surprising family connections that have surfaced in recent years. This episode explores what it means to define family on your own terms, and how connection can transcend distance, time, and silence. Host: Nabil Ayers Guests: Tom Morello Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Production Company and Network: Palm Tree Island Music: Nouela and Patricia Brennan Palm Tree Island Team: Sophia Moore & Asli PehlivanliSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.