Divorce Happens

There is a particular kind of grief that comes with realizing you are not going to be with your children every day anymore. For so many moms going through divorce, especially women who have spent years as the primary caregiver, co-parenting isn’t simply a new schedule—it can feel like an entirely new identity. In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with Kristina St. Cyr, certified divorce coach, divorced mom, and founder of Kristina St. Cyr Coaching, to talk honestly about the emotional whiplash of early co-parenting after divorce: letting go of control, learning to trust a new family structure, and figuring out how to protect your own peace while still putting your children first.Kristina works primarily with women who have reached the threshold of divorce—they know something has to change, but they have no idea what comes next. She explains why the transition to shared parenting can feel especially destabilizing for moms who previously carried the mental load, managed the schedules, made the decisions, and built the infrastructure of family life. Together, Olivia and Kristina unpack practical co-parenting tips after divorce, including creating written communication systems, establishing specific parenting schedules and exchange times, and setting boundaries around each parent’s responsibilities. Sometimes saying, “I’m not available—that is your parenting time,” can feel uncomfortable. But Kristina reminds listeners that consistency and predictability aren't just boundaries for parents; they can also create security for children navigating divorce.And perhaps the most reassuring message in this conversation is that you do not have to figure out your entire co-parenting future today. Kristina encourages overwhelmed moms to break divorce recovery into manageable pieces: choose one boundary, one conversation, or one decision you can handle today and allow that success to become evidence that you can handle the next thing, too. Co-parenting after divorce may never look like the family life you once imagined, but with clear expectations, thoughtful boundaries, and a child-centered approach, it can become something steadier, healthier, and more sustainable—for your kids and for you.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

College can feel impossibly far away when your children are young and you’re in the middle of a divorce. And then, somehow, senior year arrives—and suddenly you’re staring at FAFSA forms, financial aid applications, college lists, divorce agreements, remarriages, and the terrifying realization that some schools now cost close to six figures a year. In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with Vicki Vollweiler, founder of College Financial Prep, to unpack what divorced and separated parents need to know about paying for college, applying for financial aid, and creating a college strategy long before acceptance letters start arriving.Vicki breaks down FAFSA for divorced parents, the CSS Profile, need-based financial aid, merit scholarships, student loans, and one of the biggest sources of confusion for divorced families: whose financial information actually counts. FAFSA generally looks at the parent providing more financial support to the student, while some colleges using the CSS Profile may request financial information from both parents—and potentially stepparents, too. That means divorce agreements, remarriage, household finances, and co-parenting dynamics can all affect the college financial aid process. Just as importantly, Vicki explains why parents should talk openly about the college budget early, without necessarily sharing every detail of their income or assets, so a teenager doesn’t spend senior year falling in love with a school the family was never realistically prepared to afford.But underneath all the forms and financial strategy is something much more emotional: this is your child’s future, and for divorced parents, college may be one of the first major milestones that forces old family dynamics back to the surface. Vicki shares how she sometimes acts as an intermediary for parents who cannot communicate directly and why planning as early as 10th or 11th grade can reduce conflict, guilt, resentment, and financial stress later. Her simplest first step for overwhelmed parents? Find the tax return you’ll need for FAFSA. You do not have to solve college today. You just need to start building a strategy—because after divorce, clarity around college costs can give both parents and their child more choices, not fewer.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

It’s time to retire the phrase “failed marriage.” A marriage can last twenty years, contain children and homes and illnesses and inside jokes and terrible fights and beautiful vacations, and still come to an end. None of those years disappear simply because the relationship eventually becomes something that can no longer continue. In this solo episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell challenges one of the most damaging cultural beliefs surrounding divorce: the idea that the end of a marriage is automatically proof that somebody failed.Olivia explores how the fear of becoming “the divorced woman” can keep people trapped in marriages long after they have stopped asking whether the relationship itself is healthy. Instead, the questions become: Did I try hard enough? Did I choose the wrong person? Am I selfish? Did I fail my children? But a person is allowed to make decisions using the information they have now—even if the younger version of themselves made a different decision years ago. Divorce does not require rewriting the entire marriage as a mistake, either. You can have loved someone deeply and still know you cannot live with them anymore. You can remember beautiful years while acknowledging painful ones. You can feel relieved and devastated, miss your former spouse and never want the marriage back, or know divorce is right and still grieve what is ending.Ultimately, this episode asks listeners to reconsider how we measure relationship success. Longevity alone cannot tell us whether a marriage was loving, healthy, safe, or fulfilling. Staying married is not automatically the same thing as succeeding at marriage—and ending one is not automatically failure. For anyone navigating divorce recovery, questioning an unhappy marriage, grieving the end of a relationship, or struggling with shame after divorce, Olivia offers a different framework: your marriage ending is a fact about your life, not a verdict on your life. There is no prize for suffering quietly forever. You get one life, and you are allowed to make decisions about how you want to live it.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

You do not have to know yet. You do not have to wake up tomorrow morning certain that you are getting divorced, certain that you are staying married, certain that the relationship can be fixed, or certain about what your life would look like on the other side. In this solo episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell speaks directly to the person who has Googled some version of “How do I know if I should get divorced?” more times than they would ever admit. If you are quietly considering divorce, questioning your marriage, or simply beginning to acknowledge that something does not feel okay anymore, this episode offers permission to stop demanding an immediate answer from yourself.Olivia explores why so many women feel like they are not “allowed” to investigate divorce until they are completely sure they want one—and why that expectation makes no sense. You can talk to a divorce attorney without filing. You can meet with a financial professional, call a therapist, research custody laws, look at apartments, understand health insurance costs, or tell one trusted friend what is really happening. You can even imagine what your life might feel like if you were no longer married. Information is not betrayal, and imagining a different life is not a decision. Gathering facts can actually help you make a clearer, more grounded choice about whether to stay, leave, or ask for significant changes within your marriage.This episode also challenges the idea that a marriage must look disastrous from the outside before you are allowed to question it. Sometimes there is no dramatic smoking gun. Sometimes it is loneliness, contempt, carrying the entire household alone, asking for the same change for years, feeling constantly tense, or realizing you no longer like who you are becoming inside the relationship. Olivia offers a series of questions for anyone considering divorce: What am I experiencing? What have I normalized? What have I already tried? What would need to change for this marriage to feel healthy for me? And if nothing changed, could I live exactly like this five years from now? You do not have to know yet. Sometimes the first fresh start is simply becoming curious about your own life again.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

When you’re getting divorced with children, there are some decisions that look deceptively simple on paper: Where will the kids sleep? Who takes them to soccer? What happens on Thanksgiving? Who schedules the dentist? But those seemingly small questions are actually the architecture of your family’s next chapter. In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with David Fein, an attorney and divorce mediator based in the Chicagoland area, to demystify parenting plans, divorce mediation, and what it really means to build a co-parenting structure that works for your children—not just during the divorce, but for the years that follow.David works with families navigating divorce and other family transitions through mediation and non-litigation family law services. He explains that a parenting plan can cover everything from custody schedules and transportation to school communication, medical appointments, extracurricular activities, holidays, and how parents will make decisions together. But the real value of mediation, he says, is the ability to get thoughtful and specific before future disagreements happen. Rather than relying on a one-size-fits-all custody arrangement, parents can build a plan around their children’s ages, routines, emotional needs, friendships, activities, and the realities of each parent’s life. David describes this as child-centered, not child-controlled: children can have a voice in the process without being forced to carry the weight of deciding between their parents.Perhaps the most reassuring part of the conversation is David’s reminder that you do not have to get your parenting plan perfect the first time. Children grow. Jobs change. Activities shift. Families evolve. Parenting plans can evolve, too. David discusses why parents sometimes return to mediation after divorce to revise an existing agreement and how trial and error can be part of building a healthier co-parenting relationship. For anyone overwhelmed by divorce with kids, custody schedules, or fear about making the “wrong” parenting decision, this episode offers a more hopeful framework: divorce changes the structure of a family, but it does not end the family. You are creating a new system—and you can keep adjusting it as your children grow.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/