The ADHD Channel for Women

Are you mad at me? It’s a question “Hyperfocus” host Rae Jacobson has asked more times than she can count.So when Rae saw a book with that exact title, she was a little unnerved. The book is by psychotherapist Meg Josephson, and it’s about the fawn response: a survival instinct that can look like people-pleasing.In this conversation, Meg breaks down what fawning is and why it’s hard to spot — and even harder to stop doingMeg explains how fawning overlaps with (but isn’t identical to) rejection sensitive dysphoria and why it shows up as masking for a lot of neurodivergent people. And she talks about the moment she realized that years of people-pleasing meant she really didn’t know herself at all.In this episode of “Hyperfocus,” learn about a pattern a lot of us have been running on autopilot without realizing it. And learn subtle strategies for change.For more on this topicWatch: Is ADHD a disability or just the shape of your brain?Listen: The brain is the last frontier of privacy. And you’re the target.For a transcript and more resources, visit Hyperfocus on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected]. Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Research shows that girls with ADHD are significantly more likely to experience intimate partner violence.Dr. Emily Rothman, who recently published a study on dating violence in neurodivergent youth, joins Cate to talk about what the research actually shows.They discuss why ADHD symptoms might make it harder to recognize abuse. They also cover how to tell ordinary relationship conflict from patterns of coercive control.Cate and Emily talk openly about why leaving is rarely a single decision, and how to support a friend or family member who’s trying to get out. They also get into the uncomfortable fact that there are higher rates of ADHD among abuse perpetrators.This episode discusses domestic violence, coercive control, and sexual abuse. If you or someone you know needs support:National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7): 1-800-799-7233RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673Love Is Respect (dating abuse), call or text: 1-866-331-9474For more on this topic Watch: ADHD, toxic partners, and “losing your sparkle” (Reddit Reactions)Watch: ADHD gaslighting and chasing new relationship energy (Reddit Reactions) | Sorry, I Missed ThisWatch: ADHD impulsivity and saying yes to sex too fast| Sorry, I Missed ThisFor a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected]. Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Podcaster PJ Vogt has talked about his ADHD for years. Casually. Almost cheerfully. Then things changed. He decided to go off his ADHD medication, and he found the neuropsych report from when he was 13. It didn’t say what he thought.On this episode of Hyperfocus, PJ, who’s spent his entire career making some of the most popular podcasts around – like Reply All and Search Engine — talks about his journey to understand his own brain. And how when he reread that old assessment, he found something messier than the story he’d been telling himself. Host Rae Jacobson follows him through that reckoning and the big question: What happens when the label that shaped your identity turns out to be blurrier than you imagined?They talk through the trade-offs he’s still sorting out now that he’s stopped taking medication, and the advice he’d give younger people with a brain like his.For more on this topicSearch Engine: Why’d I take speed for twenty years? - Part 1Search Engine:  Why’d I take speed for twenty years? (Part 2)Watch: The brain is the last frontier of privacy. And you’re the target | HyperfocusFor a transcript and more resources, visit Hyperfocus on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].  Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ever been called selfish or a narcissist when you were trying your best? Some ADHD behaviors can look like narcissism from the outside: Interrupting, forgetting an important date, missing social cues, or talking at length about something you’re hyperfocused on can make it seem like you don’t care. But the behavior and the intention don’t always match.Licensed psychologist Dr. J explains what narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD, actually is, and why diagnosing it takes a full clinical evaluation, not an online checklist. Research suggests that for many adults with ADHD, the feeling of empathy is there, but executive function challenges can make it harder to show.Dr. J also covers what to do if someone calls you a narcissist: how to pause, ask yourself honest questions, and take real feedback seriously without accepting a label that doesn’t fit. Intentions don’t erase impact, and accountability isn’t the same as shame.For more on this topic Listen: ADHD and autism: Do I have AuDHD?Watch: ADHD and avoidance: Why you resist things you actually want to doFor a transcript and more resources, visit The ADHD Channel for Women on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].  Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Kink isn’t required to get something real out of a power dynamic. And for ADHD brains, it might be more than you’d expectSex and relationship coach Amanda Dames — The Kink Consultant — joins the show to talk about power dynamics and what dominance and submission can actually offer neurodivergent relationships once the stigma gets stripped away. Amanda and Cate start with the basics: what a power dynamic is, why it’s a negotiated role-play and not a real transfer of power, and how submission can function as agency rather than its opposite. From there, the conversation moves into what this looks like day to day — including a partner who quietly set household rules that ended up calming years of ADHD-driven chaos. And then into harder territory: the difference between structure that helps and control that doesn’t, how to tell the two apart, and what aftercare (a kink community staple) can offer any couple, kinky or not, after a hard moment.For more on this topicWatch: Kink, BDSM, and ADHD | Sorry, I Missed ThisWatch: Why neurodivergent women can’t stop reading smut and romantasy | Sorry, I Missed ThisWatch: Why good sex can make your ADHD brain spiral | Sorry, I Missed ThisFor a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].  Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.