Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

Kink isn’t required to get something real out of a power dynamic. And for ADHD brains, it might be more than you’d expectSex and relationship coach Amanda Dames — The Kink Consultant — joins the show to talk about power dynamics and what dominance and submission can actually offer neurodivergent relationships once the stigma gets stripped away. Amanda and Cate start with the basics: what a power dynamic is, why it’s a negotiated role-play and not a real transfer of power, and how submission can function as agency rather than its opposite. From there, the conversation moves into what this looks like day to day — including a partner who quietly set household rules that ended up calming years of ADHD-driven chaos. And then into harder territory: the difference between structure that helps and control that doesn’t, how to tell the two apart, and what aftercare (a kink community staple) can offer any couple, kinky or not, after a hard moment.For more on this topicWatch: Kink, BDSM, and ADHD | Sorry, I Missed ThisWatch: Why neurodivergent women can’t stop reading smut and romantasy | Sorry, I Missed ThisWatch: Why good sex can make your ADHD brain spiral | Sorry, I Missed ThisFor a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].  As kids head back to school, it's a good time to remember: not every student experiences the classroom the same way. Through My Eyes, a free interactive experience from Understood, lets you step into a day in the life of a kid with ADHD, dyslexia, or dyscalculia. See their strengths and challenges in a whole new way. Try it out here.Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, a complex conversation about ADHD, femininity, gender, and why talking about the hard stuff is important.Cate sits down with Rae Jacobson, host of Understood.org’s Hyperfocus podcast, journalist, and a producer on this show. They talk about something they’ve both struggled to name: the collision between ADHD, femininity, and gender expression. They dig into what it felt like to watch other girls “get it.” The tidiness. The calm. The effortlessness. All things that executive dysfunction made feel out of reach. They talk about the pressure to be nurturing, organized, and endlessly available — and what happens when your brain doesn’t cooperate with any of it. And they look at the research on outcomes for women and girls with ADHD.For more on this topicWatch: The “devastating” findings of a decades-long ADHD studyWatch: Head, heart, hormones: Why women’s ADHD care should treat the whole person For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].  As kids head back to school, it's a good time to remember: not every student experiences the classroom the same way. Through My Eyes, a free interactive experience from Understood, lets you step into a day in the life of a kid with ADHD, dyslexia, or dyscalculia. See their strengths and challenges in a whole new way. Try it out here.Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We recorded our first-ever live show in front of a studio audience! Emmy Award–winning writer, director, and producer Adam Reid, co-creator of “Tiny Chef,” joined Cate to talk about ADHD creativity: what works, what doesn’t, when to dig in, when to let things go, and why finishing things isn't always the point. Adam talked candidly about being diagnosed with ADHD at 45, after years of building an Emmy-winning creative career without knowing why his brain worked the way it did. And he and Cate shared how they make it work (or not) as neurodivergent creators. Check it out! For more on this topic  Read: ADHD and creativity Watch: Cate answers your burning ADHD questions For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected]. As kids head back to school, it's a good time to remember: not every student experiences the classroom the same way. Through My Eyes, a free interactive experience from Understood, lets you step into a day in the life of a kid with ADHD, dyslexia, or dyscalculia. See their strengths and challenges in a whole new way. Try it out here.Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ever notice your ADHD brain gets a little too excited during an argument? Like you’re not even mad anymore, you’re just... having a really good time being right? Yeah. There’s a reason for that, and it’s not a great one. In this mailbag episode of Sorry, I Missed This, host Cate Osborn is digging into questions from our Understood Facebook group Our amazing listeners wrote in (and had the chance to win a copy of Cate’s new book, The ADHD Field Guide for Adults). In this episode Cate tackles questions like how to share a new ADHD diagnosis with friends and family, how to wade through the swamp of ADHD motivation, why our ADHD brains LOVE to argue, and more.  Check it out! For more on this topic  Watch: Managing expectations in relationships with ADHD | Sorry, I Missed This Watch: How hormones hijack focus, mood, and energy | Sorry, I Missed This For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected]. As kids head back to school, it's a good time to remember: not every student experiences the classroom the same way. Through My Eyes, a free interactive experience from Understood, lets you step into a day in the life of a kid with ADHD, dyslexia, or dyscalculia. See their strengths and challenges in a whole new way. Try it out here.Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships — and for people with ADHD, it comes with an extra layer of shame most people don’t talk about. Cate sits down with Dr. Christine Hargrove, a financial therapist who specializes in ADHD, to unpack why money fights escalate so fast, why who’s the “mental load carrier” matters more than who earns more, and why people with ADHD often give better financial advice to their friends than they follow themselves. Christine breaks down the concept of “money meaning” — the idea that when couples fight about spending, they’re rarely fighting about the actual dollars. They discuss financial self-efficacy, the five types of couple coping (and which ones actually work), and why body doubling might be the most underrated financial tool for ADHD brains. Cate also opens up about her own history with compulsive spending, debt, and the shame that kept her from asking for help — and what finally changed. If you’ve ever felt “bad with money” or avoided opening an app because of what you might see, this episode is for you. For more on this topic Watch: Why is money so hard with ADHD? A financial therapist explains Watch: Money problems and ADHD? Here’s a financial therapist’s advice For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected]. As kids head back to school, it's a good time to remember: not every student experiences the classroom the same way. Through My Eyes, a free interactive experience from Understood, lets you step into a day in the life of a kid with ADHD, dyslexia, or dyscalculia. See their strengths and challenges in a whole new way. Try it out here.Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.