Blonde Apologist

After receiving hundreds of your questions and concerns, I sat down with Dr. Gerrit Dirkmaat and Dr. Richard LeDuc from The Standard of Truth Podcast to have an honest, thoughtful conversation about one of the most complex topics in Church history: polygamy. This episode doesn’t attempt to answer every question, but the Spirit was strongly present throughout the conversation. It explores how early Saints responded to practicing polygamy, possible reasons God commanded it, and offers a closer look at complex aspects of the history; including Joseph Smith being sealed to a 14-year-old girl and Emma Smith’s experience. It also addresses what this practice could mean for eternity and the challenge of reconciling something that may feel uncomfortable while continuing to hold onto faith.Resources for further study:Book Recommendationhttps://a.co/d/0ethk4qrPlural Marriage in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saintshttps://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/plural-marriage-in-the-church-of-jesus-christ-of-latter-day-saints?lang=engThis overview essay establishes that monogamy is the church’s standing law of marriage but acknowledges God commanded plural marriage in biblical times and again through Joseph Smith. It covers D&C 132, the purposes of plural marriage, and the eventual cessation of the practice. Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoohttps://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=engFocuses on the origins under Joseph Smith in the 1830s–1840s. Discusses the angel with a drawn sword, Joseph’s multiple wives (including polyandrous marriages to women already married to other men), the secrecy surrounding early practice, and Emma Smith’s reactions.Plural Marriage and Families in Early Utahhttps://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/plural-marriage-and-families-in-early-utah?lang=engCovers the 1847–1890 period. Addresses demographics (20–30% of Latter-day Saint families practiced it),  daily life in plural families, financial and interpersonal challenges, women’s agency,  and U.S. government anti-polygamy legislation.The Manifesto and the End of Plural Marriage:https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/the-manifesto-and-the-end-of-plural-marriage?lang=eng

In this episode, I share my thoughts on the new season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and why I’ve decided I won’t be watching anymore. I talk about the sadness I feel for the families and children affected, the uncomfortable feelings the show stirred for me, and some common online reactions about gospel living, family roles, and media portrayals of our faith. I end with a reminder this Easter season of the hope and peace we can find in our Savior, who lives!!

Is it possible to grow while raising kids? In this episode, Montana Coles and I talk about developing ourselves in motherhood, avoiding comparison, making mom friends, and partnering with Christ through the highs and the lows.

In 2016, Amy Allebest’s essay Dear Mormon Men sparked a lot of conversation inside the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For many members, the essay feels uncomfortable—or even threatening—because it raises questions about gender, authority, and women’s experiences in the Church.In this episode, I sit down with Amy Watkins Jensen, the voice behind Women on the Stand, to talk through some of the ideas raised in Dear Mormon Men and the real experiences of women in the Church that often sit underneath conversations like this. We discuss why women sharing their experiences matters, how culture and doctrine sometimes get tangled together, and how we can wrestle with difficult topics while staying rooted in faith in Jesus Christ.

What does it look like to stay in the Church while carrying experiences that are often misunderstood? In this episode my guest, Trevor Schoeny, shares his story of growing up gay in the Church, navigating scrupulosity and trauma, sustaining Church leadership, and discerning how he would raise his future children in the faith. My hope is that conversations like this help us build more understanding, more compassion, and stronger unity as we strive to follow Christ together.

What does it actually mean for women to have priesthood power?Today I’m joined by Dr. Barbara Morgan Gardner to dig into priesthood power, women’s roles, and how the Church talks about both. Together, we address common misconceptions, challenge oversimplified narratives, and share personal experiences of how women access, exercise, and recognize priesthood power in their everyday lives. If you’ve ever felt confused, curious, or even quietly frustrated by conversations around women and the priesthood….this episode is for you!

More Latter-day Saints struggle with religious OCD, or scrupulosity, than we often realize. For those who face it, obsessive anxiety can twist gospel living into a cycle of fear and toxic guilt, and many even mistake that guilt for promptings from the Spirit.In this episode, therapist Annabella Hagen helps us understand what scrupulosity is, how it shows up in our culture, and how we can stay connected to God without letting fear take over. We also talk about how families and leaders can offer better support, when it may be time to seek professional help, and how to discern between the Spirit and anxiety.For anyone interested in joining Annabella’s FREE Online OCD Support Group for Members of the Church or the one for All Faiths, they can request to be added to the email list by contacting hope@mindsetfamilytherapy.com The Faith Leaders’ Guide to Scrupulosity OCD pamphlet (PDF): https://mindsetfamilytherapy.com/books/downloads

Today we’re going through all the claims made about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the newest season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Season 3 gives us plenty to unpack! We’re going to discuss m the Book of Mormon’s racial history, how Latter-day Saints view the LGBTQ community, if we can “earn” God’s love, and what “fighting the patriarchy” doesn’t look like as a Mormon woman in 2025. Let’s talk about what they got right, what they missed, and everything in between.

Mary Alice from the What Now podcast is basically the OG “blonde apologist,” and I adore her. She’s been tackling hard gospel topics from a place of deep faith for years, and this conversation left me thinking long after we stopped recording. We talked about how she felt called to start her podcast, the shifts she hopes to see in our Church culture, and how we can build better bridges with those who have stepped away from the Church.Checkout her podcasts (Apple podcast) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-now/id1474476293Checkout her podcast (Spotify) https://open.spotify.com/show/2zY4GanR2iYfVgRyabNvbI?si=U6Fcg600RKm9E85A15F9qw

After losing her baby boy just one day after birth, my guest shares how she found strength, faith, and healing through unimaginable heartbreak. Together we talk about the tender mercies that carried her, how she’s learned to reconcile loss through the gospel, and the quiet ways she still feels connected to her son in heaven.

You guys sent in some deep questions, and we’re diving into all of it: navigating confusing parts of Church history, how to handle doubts when faith feels shaky, frustrations with garments, and finding your spark again in marriage. We also talk about judgmental family dynamics, forgiveness, and staying connected when a spouse leaves the Church. Thanks for being here, now let’s dive in!

Today I’m joined by Matt Whitaker, director of the new film Truth and Treason, which tells the remarkable true story of Helmuth Hübener, a teenage Latter-day Saint who stood up to Hitler’s regime and paid the ultimate price for speaking truth. We talk about what drew Matt to Helmuth’s story, how faith shaped this young man’s courage, and what his example can teach us about standing for truth in our own day.Get your tickets here: https://www.angel.com/tickets/truth-and-treason

This conversation with Shima Baughman hits so many of the things I feel like women of our faith wrestle with: career, motherhood, timing, guilt, and how to actually let God lead without losing yourself in the process. We talk about what it looks like to make big life decisions without the social or church pressure, how to stop comparing your timeline to everyone else’s, and how confidence shows up when you let Christ author your story.Inspired by this message by President Camille Johnson: https://www.youtube.com/live/pulAR6uRP6Y?si=ZlPib1IwpRGOysiH

Dating can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to figure it out alone. In this fun, big-sis-style episode, I sit down with Sarah Sweeten to talk all things dating—navigating today’s culture, waiting for missionaries, boosting confidence in your single season, and spotting the red and green flags that matter most.

Do you struggle to have inspiring scripture studies? Me too! In this episode, I’m joined by Amber Dawn Pearce to explore why scripture study often feels like a checklist and how to fix it. She shares her favorite scripture story, practical tips for pulling more meaning out of your studies, and simple ways to make time for your studies so you can feel more connection to God.Ambers Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-smiling-brightly-with-amber-dawn-pearce/id1740796917

This episode starts with my reflections on the recent tragedy in Utah and the need for disciples of Christ to be peacemakers in a divided world. Then I sit down with a friend who, after a traumatic birth, found healing and joy through the Savior’s Atonement. We talk about how Christ can truly heal and transform us, and she shares practical advice for what to do when you notice parts of yourself you want to change but aren’t sure where to start.

Pornography is such common struggle in our faith community, yet one of the least talked about. Too often it’s surrounded by silence, shame, and fear. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife to unpack how we can approach this topic with honesty, compassion, and faith. We talk about how to respond when a loved one is struggling, how to have open conversations while dating or parenting, and how to move toward healing and self-mastery without losing sight of God’s love.Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s Book: https://amzn.to/4mBZjuXOther Resources: https://www.finlayson-fife.com/courses?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=19044940972&gclid=CjwKCAjw2brFBhBOEiwAVJX5GH3r-6RY23yK2u13_MTYTbdpH9bTPsVmXjFz3JPcBD4Wnu0jZF5HDxoCDJIQAvD_BwE

Social media loves to tell women in the Church what their experience is supposed to be, and it’s rarely positive. In this episode I’m pushing back. While acknowledging the major concerns critics of our Church have, I’m sharing why I believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is actually the best place for women, and how our doctrine gives us divine identity, equal partnership, and direct access to God.The Doctrine on Eve: https://www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/conference/august-2010/the-two-treesGender Equality in the Church:https://www.deseret.com/faith/2025/08/07/a-broader-vision-of-gender-equality/President Nelson on Revelation: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2018/04/revelation-for-the-church-revelation-for-our-lives?lang=eng&id=p16-p17#p16Uchtdorf Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiiadnMvm20Sherri Dew: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2001/10/are-we-not-all-mothers?lang=engArdith Kapp: https://www.churchhistorianspress.org/at-the-pulpit/part-4/chapter-41?lang=eng

What do you do when your best friend leaves the church? When a sibling votes differently than you? Or when a spouse no longer believes what you believe?In this episode, I’m joined by marriage and family therapist Emily Robins to talk about how to navigate these tricky conversations with compassion and confidence. We explore what it looks like to hold to your values without cutting people off, and to keep relationships strong even when beliefs shift.

This week, we celebrated Pioneer Day here in Utah! And what better way to celebrate than by talking about Trek?I asked for your Trek stories and you delivered! From funny and awkward to meaningful and mildly traumatic, it turns out people have strong feelings about this tradition.My sister and I go through your stories, share our own, and reflect on the purpose of Trek and why it tends to stick with us—for better or worse.