Your Relationshift

In this refreshingly honest Hard Pass episode, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik take aim at a cringeworthy but all-too-common piece of advice: “Men are like puppies—they need training.” With humor and heart, they unpack the hidden implications behind this mindset, challenging the notion that a woman’s role is to manage, correct, or “train” her husband into becoming who she wants him to be. While acknowledging the desire many women have to feel seen for the ways they influence their homes, they caution against taking full credit—or control—for their husband’s growth. Instead, they advocate for mutual respect and authentic partnership, not a dynamic that turns the husband into a project and the wife into his handler.Hindi and Chayale go deeper, exploring how subtle forms of control—even when framed positively—can leave women feeling burdened, lonely, and resentful. From the “he's my fourth child” mentality to the idea that a wife must always lead, the hosts show how these beliefs erode intimacy and partnership. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to drop the leash, let go of the pressure to parent their spouses, and start recognizing their husbands as capable adults. If you’ve ever felt stuck in the exhausting role of the “default leader,” this empowering conversation offers clarity, validation, and a much-needed shift in perspective.

In this Hard Pass mini-episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik tackle the often-repeated relationship advice: “Date Night is a Must.” While acknowledging the potential beauty behind the idea—dedicated time together, lightness, and space outside of the daily grind—they unpack the heavy expectations and pressure that can make date nights more stressful than connecting. From logistical and financial challenges to emotional landmines around who plans the evening and how it unfolds, Hindi and Chayale highlight how rigidly holding to this standard can actually create more tension, not less.Instead, they encourage a more nuanced and empowering view of connection. Rather than clinging to a formulaic fix, they advocate for authenticity, creativity, and mutual intention in nurturing a relationship. A healthy marriage isn’t defined by scheduled outings, but by the consistent effort to make space for each other in a way that feels natural and loving. With warmth and honesty, the hosts invite listeners to rethink what connection looks like—and to take a hard pass on advice that oversimplifies the complex beauty of real relationships.

In this Hard Pass mini-episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik take a critical look at the popular communication tool known as the “I statement.” While commonly recommended as a way to express emotions without blame, they explore how—even with the best intentions—I statements can often still carry an undercurrent of criticism and create a subtle dynamic of victimhood. Through relatable examples, they show how what may appear as honest sharing can actually be a more sophisticated way of placing blame on others for our internal experiences.Chayale and Hindi challenge listeners to consider deeper personal ownership in communication, encouraging self-inquiry over self-victimization. Instead of relying on formulaic language, they suggest shifting the focus toward uncovering one's true desires and approaching conversations from a place of inspiration and clarity. With their signature blend of insight, warmth, and Torah-based wisdom, the hosts offer a fresh and empowering perspective on what genuine connection really requires—making this a must-listen for anyone seeking more authentic relationships.

In this rich and insightful episode of Your Relationshift, Chayale Tzukernik sits down with coach Hadasa Rosenblum for a powerful conversation about the core mindset shifts that transform marriage, motherhood, and selfhood. Hadasa shares the foundational truths she wishes every woman knew before marriage—how to understand the essential differences between men and women, how to catch the stories we subconsciously tell ourselves, and how to view our relationship challenges not as mistakes, but as Divinely orchestrated growth opportunities. Through vivid examples from both marriage and parenting, she illustrates how shifting our perspective allows us to receive the love and support that's already present—and to respond to challenges with confidence instead of fear.As the conversation deepens, Hadasa explores the importance of nurturing our identity beyond the roles we fill—reminding listeners that we are also individuals with a mind, heart, body, and soul that need care and attention. Whether it’s through learning, meaningful friendships, or soul-nourishing rituals, she encourages women to reclaim their wholeness not in spite of their responsibilities, but as a vital part of them. With warmth, clarity, and humility, this episode offers empowering guidance for women at every stage of life who want to live and love with more joy, purpose, and inner alignment.

In this powerful episode of Your Relationshift, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik tackle a deeply relatable challenge sent in by a listener: what happens when your husband seems more emotionally connected to his mother and sisters than to you? With compassion, honesty, and wisdom drawn from Torah and Chassidic teachings, they explore the emotional undercurrents of feeling sidelined in marriage, the pain it can trigger, and how this dynamic can shake a woman’s sense of value and connection. They reflect on the symbolic meaning of breaking the glass under the chuppah, highlighting the transition a man undergoes from being a receiver in his family of origin to becoming a mashpia (giver) in his new home.Rather than offering blame or simple fixes, Hindi and Chayale empower listeners to view these situations through the lens of growth, abundance, and self-awareness. They discuss how perception—how we choose to receive and interpret a mother-in-law’s presence—can shift an entire dynamic. They introduce practical tools like trusting the connection, reinforcing your essential value, and cultivating respect for the mitzvah of kibud av v’eim (honoring parents). This episode is a heartfelt invitation to look inward, embrace personal agency, and transform a place of pain into an opportunity for deepening both marriage and self.

In this Hard Pass episode, Hindi and Chayale take on the well-intentioned but ultimately misleading idea that marriage should be 50/50. While the concept of equal partnership sounds fair and modern, they unpack why this mindset often leads to disappointment, resentment, and even control. From keeping score to unrealistic expectations of sameness, the hosts explain how striving for a strict 50/50 split in roles, responsibilities, or emotional investment can erode the very connection couples are trying to build.Instead, they offer a healthier, Torah-rooted alternative: each partner should bring 100% of themselves to the marriage—not just meet halfway. Hindi and Chayale explore how differences in masculine and feminine energy, parenting styles, and strengths are meant to create a flow, not a checklist. They remind us that true partnership isn’t about perfect balance—it’s about presence, appreciation, and the willingness to show up fully, even when things aren’t “even.”

In this episode of Hard Pass, Hindi and Chayale dig into the outdated and oversimplified advice: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” From the pressure to always have food cooking to the belief that feeding your husband is the key to a successful marriage, they explore how this message reduces men to basic impulses and leaves women feeling undervalued, overwhelmed, or inadequate—especially if cooking isn't their strength or passion.With their usual warmth and clarity, the hosts reframe the role of food in a relationship: nourishing your family is beautiful, but it’s not the foundation of emotional intimacy or connection. Hindi and Chayale unpack how this kind of advice can be subtly controlling, condescending, and ultimately harmful to both partners. Instead, they advocate for a more balanced, respectful view—where love isn’t earned through meals, but built through mutual understanding, communication, and genuine care.

In this compelling Hard Pass episode, Hindi and Chayale unpack the common piece of advice given to many women: “Always be ready for your husband.” Whether it’s about emotional availability, physical appearance, or stopping everything to prioritize his needs, the hosts explore how this mindset—though often rooted in traditional ideals—can lead to imbalance, burnout, and resentment. They challenge the assumption that devotion means self-erasure, and instead advocate for a model of marriage that honors both partners’ experiences and boundaries.With clarity and compassion, Hindi and Chayale explore the deeper dynamics at play, including the misconception that constantly serving your husband fosters peace. They share how orienting your entire life around your spouse can disrupt the natural flow of a healthy mashpia–mekabel relationship, and offer a powerful reframe: your marriage should be the priority—not one individual within it. Listeners will walk away with practical language, emotional permission, and a refreshing perspective on how mutual respect, presence, and balance can truly strengthen a relationship.

In this episode of Hard Pass, Hindi and Chayale take on the well-meaning but often unhelpful advice: “That’s just bochur behavior—he’ll grow out of it.” While it’s true that some adjustment is natural when a man transitions from yeshiva life to marriage, the hosts explore why waiting for your husband to “mature out” of habits like staying up late, spending hours at farbrengens, or joking like he's still in the dorm isn’t always fair—or accurate. Labeling certain behaviors as “bochurish” can unintentionally dismiss core parts of your husband’s personality, culture, or values.Instead of approaching marriage with the mindset of “he’ll change eventually,” Hindi and Chayale advocate for embracing who your spouse is now. They unpack the dangers of creating a hierarchy in the relationship—where one partner sees themselves as more evolved or sophisticated—and how that mindset can erode connection and trust. With their usual warmth and insight, they offer a more empowering approach: one that values authenticity, encourages growth through acceptance, and honors the person you chose to marry—not the one you’re waiting for him to become.

In this thought-provoking Hard Pass episode, Hindi and Chayale explore the all-too-common advice given to women: “If you don’t like how your husband dresses, just dress him.” While it may come from a place of love—or social pressure—the hosts unpack the deeper message this sends and the unintended consequences it can create. From issues of control and respect to circles of ownership and individuality, they highlight why a man’s clothing choices are more than just fabric—they're tied to his autonomy and self-expression.With their signature nuance and humor, Hindi and Chayale challenge the idea that a wife should manage her husband's appearance, especially when it crosses into subtle (or not-so-subtle) disrespect. They offer healthier, more empowering alternatives rooted in acceptance, admiration, and mutual communication. If you’ve ever felt tempted to “fix” your husband’s wardrobe, this episode is your gentle—but clear—reminder to step out of his closet and into a more authentic connection.

In this candid episode of Hard Pass, Hindi and Chayale take on the oft-repeated advice: “Don’t go to sleep angry.” While the phrase may sound romantic or wise, the hosts explain why this kind of black-and-white thinking can actually backfire in real relationships. Drawing from both personal experience and the emotional realities of marriage, they reveal how forcing a resolution in the heat of exhaustion can lead to more frustration, not connection.Instead, Hindi and Chayale advocate for emotional honesty, self-awareness, and—most importantly—rest. They discuss the importance of giving yourself and your partner the space to process, recalibrate, and return to a conversation with greater clarity. With their signature blend of empathy and Torah-rooted wisdom, this episode is a gentle permission slip to press pause, go to sleep, and try again with a clearer heart and mind.

In the debut episode of their new segment Hard Pass, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik take a critical look at the popular piece of advice: “Fake it ‘til you make it.” With their signature blend of warmth, clarity, and Torah-rooted insight, they unpack why this seemingly harmless mindset can actually create confusion, resentment, and emotional disconnection—both within ourselves and in our closest relationships. From well-meaning encouragement to “just dress up and you’ll feel better” to misguided marital guidance around pretending satisfaction, Hindi and Chayale challenge the deeper implications of inauthenticity.Instead of advocating for performance, the hosts emphasize the importance of self-awareness and genuine expression, especially in marriage. They explain how faking respect or contentment—no matter how subtly—can be felt by a spouse and ultimately erodes trust and intimacy. The key, they argue, is cultivating internal clarity first, whether with a coach or a trusted friend, so that honest communication can flow without being harsh or performative. This thoughtful conversation offers a fresh, empowering perspective on what it really means to show up authentically in our relationships.

In this heartfelt and deeply inspiring episode of Your Relationshift, Hindi Kalmenson sits down with fellow Relationshift coach Michal Harel for an intimate conversation about the winding path that led her to emotional healing, spiritual renewal, and a thriving marriage. Michal opens up about her journey, from being expelled from a Bais Yaakov high school in Jerusalem to navigating single motherhood and religious disconnection in Miami. Through powerful anecdotes, she reflects on the painful lessons of her first marriage, the raw vulnerability of rebuilding her life, and the surprising moments of Divine guidance that gently steered her back toward Yiddishkeit and Chassidus. With honesty and insight, Michal shares how embracing all parts of her story, including her most challenging experiences, allowed her to rediscover her wholeness.As the conversation unfolds, Michal describes how finding the Relationshift principles gave her the language, tools, and spiritual framework to transform not only her relationship with her husband but also her sense of personal purpose. From the subtle energy of control to the power of essential value, she and Hindi explore what it means to be a co-creator in one’s life and relationships, anchored in emunah and Hashem’s design. Listeners will walk away moved by Michal’s resilience, empowered by her wisdom, and reminded that true transformation often begins with radical honesty, quiet surrender, and the courage to hold space for both the vision and the process.

In this deep and nuanced episode of Your Relationshift, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the often misunderstood concept of hard work within the feminine experience. Drawing on Chassidic teachings and personal stories, they unpack what it really means to live and create from a place of mahus—the essential state of being that is both receptive and expressive. The hosts highlight the difference between working from a place of depletion versus working from a state of alignment, showing how a woman’s true creative flow can emerge not in spite of effort, but because of it. This isn’t about hustle or burnout—it’s about intentionality, desire, and the sacred work of bringing one’s inner vision into reality.Together, Hindi and Chayale candidly reflect on their own journeys from opposite ends of the spectrum—one from over-functioning, the other from under-engaging—to discover a balanced, feminine approach to productivity. They emphasize that malchus is not about avoidance or passivity, but about meaningful creation rooted in clarity, connection, and self-trust. Whether you find yourself burnt out or unsure where to begin, this episode offers a powerful reframing of effort as something beautiful and holy, inviting women to embrace the power of conscious, values-based hard work as a deeply feminine and spiritually aligned expression.

In this powerful and deeply nuanced episode of Your Relationshift, Chayale Tzukernik sits down with fellow Relationshift Coach Fraidy Gerlitzky for a heartfelt and eye-opening conversation about a hidden struggle many women face when internalizing the principles of relationship work. Together, they explore how the journey of growth—though rooted in empowerment—can sometimes lead to unintentional self-blame, perfectionism, and pressure. Fraidy shares what she’s been noticing in her own life and with clients: that when women learn to take ownership in their marriage, they can unknowingly carry the weight of the entire relationship on their shoulders, leading to a loss of self-value and an inability to receive love freely.Through relatable stories, examples, and deep Torah insight, Chayale and Fraidy guide listeners back to the foundational truth: our worth is essential and unchanging, and the love and connection in a relationship can—and must—be mutual, human, and safe. They discuss how trusting the connection isn’t about earning love through perfect behavior, but about resting in the security of unconditional love—both from Hashem and from our husbands. Whether you’re newer to Relationshift or have been on this path for a while, this conversation offers a much-needed reframing that brings immense relief, clarity, and the reminder that growth and connection can come from a place of trust, not tension.

As Rosh Hashanah approaches, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik dive deep into the core relationships that shape our connection with Hashem—king and subject, parent and child, and husband and wife. Through the lens of Chassidus and their own lived experiences, they explore the theme of surrender, focusing especially on the idea of Hashem as our King. Drawing on powerful imagery from the lives of Dovid HaMelech and Shaul HaMelech, they reflect on how awe, humility, and trust are essential ingredients for entering the New Year with clarity and purpose. The discussion also touches on the deeper emotional and somatic practices that can help us internalize these spiritual concepts—like bowing in prayer or opening our hands in tefillah—as ways of embodying surrender and acceptance.In a world preoccupied with self-definition and control, this conversation brings a refreshing shift: embracing the freedom and peace that comes from letting go and trusting fully in Hashem. The co-hosts reflect on how Rosh Hashanah is a time not just for teshuvah or repair, but for affirming the most essential relationship of all—our identity as part of Hashem. With themes of divine design, feminine identity, and emotional surrender threaded throughout, this episode offers a soulful roadmap for preparing your mind and heart for the Yamim Noraim. Whether you're feeling spiritually ready or emotionally distant, this heartfelt discussion will help you realign and reconnect with the deeper meaning of the High Holidays.

Chayale sits down with her sister-in-law and fellow educator Mushka Kesselman as an exclusive RelationShift interview to explore the complex dynamic that arises when spouses are not aligned in their religious or Chassidic values. Drawing from her own experience as a teacher and coach, Mushka shares powerful principles that help women navigate the pain and confusion of spiritual disconnect in marriage — without judgment, blame, or pressure. The conversation emphasizes the importance of emotional space, self-responsibility, and the transformative impact of focusing on one’s own joy and connection in Yiddishkeit.Together, they delve into what it really means to support a spouse without controlling them, how Shalom Bayis is not just a value but a Torah mandate, and why honoring each other’s spiritual autonomy creates room for true connection and growth. With relatable examples, including how to handle Pesach standards or fears around chinuch when values differ, this episode offers both clarity and comfort to anyone feeling spiritually alone in their marriage. Whether you're in that space yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation is an empowering reminder that peace, love, and divine purpose are still fully possible — even when you're not on the same page.

In this special bonus episode of Your Relationshift, we’re invited into the heart of Chayale Tzukernik’s “Dating for Success” workshop, where guest speaker Hindi Kalmenson delivers an intimate, powerful session titled “How to Glow from Within.” This solo workshop, offered as part of Chayale’s transformative four-week dating course, dives into the inner work that enables women to show up to relationships with confidence, openness, and a deep connection to their essential selves. Hindi gently unpacks the internal barriers many women encounter while dating, such as fear, defensiveness, or self-doubt, and reframes them as coping mechanisms rooted in beliefs that no longer serve us. Through vivid examples, she demonstrates how self-awareness and belief work can lead to more feminine, receptive energy in relationships, helping women create genuine connection.At the heart of the conversation are two divine attributes from Chassidic teachings: Malchus (royalty) and Hod (splendor/humility), which Hindi translates into a practical blueprint for embodying inner dignity and joyful vulnerability. She encourages listeners to explore their essential wholeness and align with what truly brings them joy, reminding us that femininity is not just about how we look but about the energy we carry. Whether it’s receiving a compliment with grace, allowing someone to help with your suitcase, or expressing your desires without shame, each moment becomes an opportunity to live from a place of strength and softness. Hindi offers real-world tools for accessing these qualities: contemplating your soul’s inherent worth, identifying your inner resources, and practicing self-affirming thoughts to counter old narratives.Throughout the session, listeners are gently called to embody the kind of feminine energy that doesn’t need to be earned or performed; it’s already within. With occasional banter and supportive reflection from Chayale, the episode offers a masterclass in showing up to dating (and life) with grace, confidence, and spiritual alignment. Whether you're navigating the world of dating or simply seeking to deepen your self-worth, this episode offers a roadmap to becoming more open, receptive, and radiant, inside and out.

In this special episode of the Your Relationshift podcast, Hindi Kalmenson sits down with Menucha Schochet, a beloved teacher of Chassidus, high school educator, and fellow Relationshift coach. Together, they explore the powerful intersection between Tanya study and relationship coaching, uncovering how the principles of Chassidus enhance personal growth and connection. Menucha shares her journey from being a passionate teacher of Tanya to discovering how concepts like respect, compassion, and divine design profoundly deepen both her relationships with others and her service to Hashem. Through heartfelt reflections, she explains how learning to truly “see” another person, hold space without judgment, and embrace life’s challenges as part of Hashem’s loving design transforms not only our relationships but our inner world.Listeners will be inspired by Menucha’s vivid storytelling, including her favorite medrashim, personal teaching experiences, and insights from coaching sessions. She highlights the transformative power of concepts like yirah (respect and awe), rachamim (compassion), and authentic ownership, showing how these principles create deeper connection in marriage, with students, and in one’s spiritual journey. With warmth, humor, and vulnerability, this conversation offers practical wisdom for embracing life’s “jagged stones,” uncovering hidden treasures in our struggles, and ultimately building a more joyful and authentic relationship with Hashem and the people we love.

In this deeply resonant episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the complex and often misunderstood concept of boundaries—reframing it through the lens of Torah values and feminine energy. Rather than viewing boundaries as defensive walls built from fear or control, they invite listeners to consider a more empowering perspective: creating a clear, internal structure rooted in self-knowledge and essential value. Through relatable anecdotes, parenting moments, and examples from Torah and Halacha, Hindi and Chayale show how true “boundaries” come from clarity—knowing who you are, what you want, and what your values are.The conversation highlights how orienting around Hashem as the true center of our existence allows us to step into our rightful place with confidence and humility. Whether discussing people-pleasing, motherhood, marriage, or the fear of being taken advantage of, the hosts guide listeners back to ownership, honesty, and abundance. If you've ever struggled to define your space or feared that honoring your own needs makes you selfish, this episode offers a powerful shift—from managing others to deeply knowing and embodying yourself.