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Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace Podcast is hosted by me, Becky Kolb. I help women in đź’”estranged relationships by providing encouragement and biblical insights so you can find peace and happiness. You may be estranged from a child, sibling or other family member and know the emotional pain. Estrangement is often called the silent epidemic because people bury their emotional pain deep inside. It's difficult to talk about and you don't want to burden your friends with your sad story.Â
And you may feel guilt and shame like I did and that just exacerbates the issue. You wonder if 🙏God listens to you anymore. How do you live peacefully when a loved one no longer wants a relationship? You simply want the guilt & shame gone and you want mental peace. That’s what this podcast is all about.
My estrangement story began with a divorce and remarriage and some decisions around that. The guilt and shame was overwhelming as most of my family didn't speak to me for several years.
Growing up in a Christian family, I struggled with some of the decisions I made and even more so with family who judged and rejected me. I felt God was judging me and had also abandoned me. But it was during that estrangement that God met me where I was and overwhelmingly poured out his đź’–love and mercy and forgiveness.
The God I thought rejected me was standing with arms wide open waiting for me to turn around. Consequences from some of my decisions lingered but his ❤️love and forgiveness carried me through. It was a relationship God wanted with me. Not religion. It was life changing. And it's what brought about reconciliation and restoration of my family. Relationships today that are 💪stronger than ever before.
I felt a strong 🗣️call to share my story and help women in estrangement. God seemed to be impressing upon me that I had suffered guilt, shame and estrangement and so do others. He wanted me to share how he helped me through it and how he could help others like you too.
My own story of estrangement is steeped in my 🙏faith and the amazing things God did for me and my family as we reconciled. I share that story in 🎧podcasts and blogs, but it isn't something I push on anyone. I coach people with other faith beliefs too and have a deep respect for everyone's decision and right to religious freedom.Â
CONNECT with me at www.beckykolb.com
DOWNLOAD my FREE workbook to work through estrangement to find peace at: 📲www.beckykolb.com/guide
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Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Surrender and cooperation are two words that helped me discover the peace I was seeking as I experienced estrangement in a relationship. Admittedly, these are not two words we readily think about. Surrender conjures up the thought of giving up control. Cooperation may not be as fearful depending on what we are being asked to cooperate with. Whatever you are struggling with today, I want to encourage you and help you discover peace...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Healing your emotions is critical when you are estranged. And its hard work that will take time and commitment. Take a moment to think about the emotions you’ve experienced in the last few days when you think about the person with whom you are estranged. Do you feel disappointed? Sadness? Anger? Resentment? Bitterness? Do you feel the need to defend yourself? Do you wonder why it happened? Do you have imaginary conversations...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? If you’re struggling with forgiveness, you aren’t alone. The truth is most everyone does. Oh, you may give lip service like I did and say you forgive, but the emotions linger. The pain comes and goes. You replay the hurt over and over so much the record is warped and scratched. Yet you really want to forgive – or you don’t. But you know that you want to get unstuck and move on. How? That’s the question that I struggled with and ma...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Learning to be vulnerable is daunting in the best of circumstances. But when you have estranged relationships, it can be downright paralyzing. Vulnerability is akin to giving someone access to your innermost thoughts and emotions. And for good reasons, it isn’t wise to give everyone that privilege. Wisdom and discernment are critical. Timing is also a key component. You must be ready emotionally when you are ready to o...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Blended families and estrangement often go hand in hand. But are they more prone to estranged relationships? Research says not necessarily. However, they do face more unique challenges and that can morph into estrangement. Are you part of a blended family that is facing difficulties and even amid estrangement already? Today we’ll dive into some of the challenges you face, how to successfully navigate them and what to do when it all goes...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Limiting core beliefs affects your mindset and your overall health. And these core beliefs in estrangement can keep you stuck and unable to get into a healthy place. Think in terms of whether I can’t, I will never, or I should. When you are in an estranged relationship it’s easy to let your mind go to extremes. If you were talking with a friend, you might notice and assure and reframe their issues. But it’s harder to do when you a...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Who you are becoming is vital in discovering peace in estranged relationships. And estrangement can lock you in a mental prison so that at times you don’t even know who you are anymore. Triggers create a response that you later regret and you are mired in guilt. At times it feels as though you take one step forward and two steps back. You wonder if you will ever get over the pain of separating from your child, sibling, or another ...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? The top 3 causes of estrangement based on research studies help you understand not only why it happens but the impact on relationships. Estrangement is something that many just don’t talk about. You may perceive it as a stigma as many do. The concept of family evokes illusions of happy times, gathering for holidays and celebrations and giving and receiving support. And yet with 70 million people estranged in the western world, tha...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Family conflict is on the rise as I am hearing from women in many circles. In recent years, politics, religion, and a host of other topics are dividing families more than ever. I personally experienced that a few months ago when a conflict arose and it turned into a personal attack on perceived religious and political beliefs. Are you experiencing it too? Families once able to gather at the dinner table and discuss happening...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Finding calmness in the storms of life can be quite difficult. I grew up in Texas right in the middle of a tornado alley. Sirens blare warning people a storm is coming and advising them to seek shelter. Sometimes storms of life come with warning bells. The winds of anger and bitterness blow against you. Harsh words are spoken. False accusations are made, and you’re left with wounds that injure your soul. Other times the storms com...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Estrangement and feelings often create an emotional train wreck. How are you feeling today? When people ask that question, you know that they don’t really want to hear that you are upset, sad, disappointed. They are just being nice. The real question is do you know what you are feeling? Can you identify it by name? It’s harder than you may think. You see, estrangement creates opportunities for us to bury our feelings. You may turn to ot...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Trying to get through Mother’s Day with estranged kids is akin to living a terrible nightmare. Years ago, I remember dreading the holiday. While everyone was receiving flowers, chocolates, cards, and loving attention, I bawled my eyes out. My kids were estranged following my divorce and other circumstances surrounding that event. Was I really a terrible mother? Rather than being a day to celebrate, it was one that I wanted to end quickl...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Family estrangement may be one of the toughest tests you will face in life. People say that death of a loved one is more difficult, and I do not discount that one. But estrangement is the death of a relationship whether it’s a child, parent, or beloved family member. You may feel as though you are hanging on by a thread and the slightest movement will cause a break that will send you crashing downward. Estranged relationships. I have be...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Forgiveness feeds your soul just as food feeds the body. That statement and what I’m about to share with you will change the trajectory of your life. Living with estrangement sucks the life right out of you. Triggers pound on the door of your heart out of nowhere. Emotions follow and you find yourself in a dark place. Questioning your self-worth. Wondering what others think. Spiraling downward. What I’m about to share with you is ...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? All things are possible with God scripture says. But do you believe it? Estrangement causes you to doubt that promise because you see no hope. Every effort you make seems fruitless. Day after day wears on with no resolution. Hope is something everyone desires, and it often seems elusive. Consequently, you lower your expectations and give it up. Doing so seems easier than the constant disappointment you experience. I understand tha...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? The greatest gift I ever received was to rediscover God through estrangement. That may sound crazy. Estranged relationships cause you to feel isolated, devalued, and unworthy and so it seems unlikely that God would reach out and pursue you. But that’s exactly what I experienced, and it was life changing. Do you feel alone? Misunderstood? Judged? Do you avoid church for some of those reasons? Has your self-esteem been shattered so that y...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Estrangement often follows a plethora of misunderstandings and judgments, and I’ll bet you’ve been on one end of the spectrum in a relationship. As I began to think about this episode, I pondered a conversation I had with a woman recently. She wasn’t sure how her family situation had deteriorated to the point it had, but as she shared her story, it became evident that misunderstandings were notably at issue. And with those came ju...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? False accusations often arise in estranged relationships and may be the origin of the estrangement. Unless you are equipped with a mind shift to navigate these hurtful times, it is unlikely that the relationship will improve. A strong back bone and thick skin along with a sincere desire to manage the conflict in a godly way are needed to push through the emotional pain and frustration. Are you weary of trying to make things work? ...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Estrangement, false accusation, guilt, and shame are not conducive to living a God honoring life. When you are constantly living with accusation from family, friends, kids or whomever it creates disappointment, bitterness and even anger. You bring it before God and pray that he will help you deal with it in the right way, but human nature enters and so does angry words. Sometimes those four-letter ones and that causes you to feel guilty...
Send me a text…what topics would you like to hear? Learning to trust God as father is not easy when you’ve been abandoned, rejected, or treated harshly by your earthly one. As one whose biological father abandoned her and an adopted father treated her harshly, I struggled to trust God as my heavenly father. Do you struggle with that concept too? I wanted to believe what scripture said about his love, compassion, and mercy, but it wasn’t my experience growing up. And so, I struggled. &nb...
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