Mussar HaTorah

After wrestling all night with the angel of Eisav, Yaakov asks one simple question: “What is your name?” The angel’s cryptic response—”Why do you ask my name?”—holds a revolutionary insight that explains not just 3,000 years of Jewish survival, but also how you should handle the critics and shifting expectations in your own life. Rabbi Yecheskel Weinfeld reveals why we’ve been asking the wrong question all along. Throughout history, Jews have exhausted themselves trying to understand their host nations, hoping that if we could just figure out what they wanted, we’d finally find acceptance. However, the accusations keep shifting—we’re too insular and too integrated, too capitalist and too socialist. The angel’s refusal to give a fixed name teaches us why: their expectations will always change because they were never really about us. The Ramban tells us that Rabbi Yanai would study this exact parsha before dealing with Roman authorities—not to understand what they wanted from him, but to remember who he was. This week’s episode explores why understanding your own essence is the source of real strength, while trying to satisfy ever-changing external demands is a trap you’ll never escape. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

Have you ever been in an argument and wondered if it was worth it? This week’s episode explores a profound teaching from Rav Yisroel Meir Druck, shlita, about Yaakov’s pillow of stones. When multiple stones began arguing over who would have the honor of supporting the tzaddik’s head, Hashem performed a miracle and combined them into one - but why didn’t the miracle go further and transform them into a comfortable pillow? The answer reveals a counterintuitive truth: not all disputes are destructive. Some arguments - the right kind - can actually become sources of comfort and eventually stand as monuments to truth. Drawing from Rashi and the Midrash on Bereishis 28:11-18, we discover three essential tests to determine if your disagreement is truly a machlokes l’shem shamayim, a dispute for the sake of Heaven, and when conflict can strengthen rather than destroy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

When Rivkah told Yaakov “alai kilelasecha beni”—upon me be your curse—was she offering to take responsibility for any consequences, or was she revealing something deeper? In this week’s episode, we uncover a fascinating insight from Onkelos that transforms our understanding of this cryptic phrase. Rivkah wasn’t volunteering to bear a curse—she was sharing a prophecy that guaranteed Yaakov’s protection. But there’s a catch to this ancient promise, one that remains just as relevant today. Discover why the blessings we inherited aren’t passive gifts from the past, but active promises that depend on our daily choices right now. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

After the emotional heights of the Akeidah, Avraham faces what Rabbeinu Yonah considers his true final test - not on a mountaintop with an angel’s intervention, but in a mundane real estate negotiation while drowning in grief. When Efron the Hittite takes advantage of Avraham’s desperate need to bury Sarah, charging an astronomical price after pretending to offer the land for free, Avraham maintains perfect composure and courtesy. Rav Eliyahu Dessler reveals why this moment, not the dramatic sacrifice, might represent Avraham’s greatest spiritual achievement: true greatness isn’t demonstrated in dramatic moments of faith, but in maintaining our middos when we have every excuse to let them slip. This week’s episode explores why “your face is public property” and why having a bad day never gives us the right to spread that negativity to others. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

In this week’s episode, we explore a rare musical note in the Torah—the shalshelet—that appears over a single word in Parshas Vayera: “he hesitated.” Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks zt”l teaches that this zigzag cantillation mark, which goes up and down as if unable to move forward, represents the sound of ambivalence, the music of a soul torn between two identities. When the angels command Lot to flee Sodom immediately or die, he hesitates—frozen by the realization that his entire assimilation project has failed, that despite years of trying to belong, he’s still seen as an outsider. This ancient story speaks directly to the modern struggle: Can we really be two people at once? What’s the cost of hiding who we are to fit in? And why does authenticity, as uncomfortable as it may be, ultimately earn more respect than pretending? Join us as we discover what Lot’s tragic hesitation teaches us about the courage to live without ambivalence. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

Why does Hashem tell Avram to leave his “land,” his “birthplace,” AND his “father’s house”? Isn’t one command enough? This week, we uncover a shocking teaching from the Bartenura: Even Avraham Avinu - who introduced monotheism at three years old, who destroyed idols, who was thrown into a furnace for his beliefs - still needed divine intervention to protect him from the subtle influences of his environment. If someone on Avraham’s spiritual level wasn’t immune to society’s osmosis effect, what does that mean for us? Join us as we explore how to build a shield of Torah and mussar against the passive infiltration of values we never consciously chose to adopt. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

Why does the Torah specifically mention that the Tower of Babel was built by “the sons of man”? Rashi’s answer reveals something shocking: this wasn’t really a story about architectural ambition—it was about ingratitude. Drawing on the profound insights of Rav Shlomo Wolbe zt”l, we explore why the tendency toward ungratefulness has been hardwired into human nature since Adam, the two psychological reasons we struggle to say “thank you,” and how shifting from entitlement to gratitude can transform our entire experience of life. This week’s lesson offers a simple but powerful practice that can help us break free from our egocentric default and start living in what Rav Wolbe calls “a bright and happy world This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

Ever wonder if there's a cure for that nagging feeling that everyone else has it better? In this week's episode, we uncover the remarkable secret of the tribe of Naftali - the only people in history who seemed completely immune to envy and comparison. Through Moshe's final blessing and the insights of Rav Druck, we discover why Naftali was "satisfied with favor" and how their ancient mindset can revolutionize your relationship with social media, career pressures, and that constant voice asking "why don't I have what they have?" You'll learn a simple mental reframe that transforms jealousy into gratitude and discover why your current situation might be more perfectly designed than you ever imagined. If you've ever felt the sting of comparison or wondered how to find genuine contentment in our culture of endless measuring, this episode offers a game-changing perspective rooted in timeless Torah wisdom. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

How does someone go from prophet to heretic in a single moment? Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz connects Kayin’s shocking fall with the Golden Calf incident to reveal a crucial truth: crisis makes us spiritually vulnerable in ways we never imagined. But awareness is protection. This episode provides practical strategies for maintaining your spiritual core when your world is shaking. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

What if everything you thought you knew about the four species was just the beginning? This Succos, discover why the Midrash teaches that Hashem literally cannot be exalted in Heaven until every single type of Jew—from the most learned to the most distant—is bound together on Earth. Through the profound insights of Rav Asher Weiss and the Gemara in Menachos, we'll uncover how your lulav bundle contains a revolutionary secret about Jewish unity that changes how your prayers are heard, how divine mercy flows, and why that Jew you might be tempted to write off is actually essential for your own spiritual success. If you've ever wondered why Jewish unity feels so elusive or how you can make your tefillos more powerful, this episode will transform how you see both your four species and your fellow Jews. Prepare to discover that the "weakest" link in our people might actually be the key to everything. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

What if your connection to a teacher was so powerful that you could literally prevent their death? It sounds impossible, but according to Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, that's exactly what the Jewish people believed about Moshe Rabbeinu. In this week's episode, we uncover a mysterious pattern in the Torah that reveals the hidden spiritual forces operating between teachers and students. When Rashi points out that a specific phrase appears only three times in the entire Torah, he's hinting at something so profound about human relationships that it actually changes Jewish law. Discover why students of Rabbi Eliezer tried to argue with death itself, why teachers and students must follow each other into exile, and how recognizing this ancient wisdom can completely transform your most important relationships. This isn't just about education - it's about tapping into spiritual bonds so powerful they can transcend the ordinary limits of life and death. You'll never look at your teachers, mentors, or students the same way again. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

In this week's episode, we explore one of the most surprising compliments hidden in the Torah's harshest criticism. When Moshe calls the Jewish people "stiff-necked" and predicts their future failures, it sounds like the ultimate leadership disappointment speech. However, Rabbi Yecheskel Weinfeld offers a stunning reframe: that same stubborn streak that often gets us into trouble might be our secret weapon for spiritual success. As we navigate the final days before Yom Kippur, this insight from Parshas Vayeilech offers a revolutionary perspective on setbacks, persistence, and why falling down doesn't disqualify you from getting back up. Discover how the trait that has historically been our greatest challenge has also been the source of our greatest resilience, and learn practical ways to channel your inner "stiff neck" toward spiritual growth rather than spiritual rebellion. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

Why does the Gemara say we recite verses of kingship "so that" we make Hashem king over us? Isn't declaring Him king the same thing as making Him king? This seemingly circular logic in Rosh Hashana 16a puzzled scholars for generations—until Rav Yitzchok Hutner revealed a revolutionary insight that completely transforms how we understand what's happening during our Rosh Hashana prayers. It turns out that everything we think we know about the relationship between declaring Hashem's kingship and performing mitzvos gets turned upside down on this cosmic day. As the Lubavitcher Rebbe called it, Rosh Hashana night is "Coronation Night"—and we're not just davening, we're participating in the annual crowning ceremony of the King of Kings. This episode will forever change how you experience the shofar blasts, the special prayers, and even your teshuva. Discover why Rosh Hashana isn't about laying spiritual groundwork for something else—it's about achieving the ultimate goal itself. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

Why would Jewish law allow someone to make kiddush twice - once for themselves and again for someone else who's already capable of doing it themselves? This seemingly puzzling halacha opens the door to one of Judaism's most profound and practically transformative concepts. Join us as we explore Rabbi Yaakov Kier's powerful insights from his "Mussar Moment" series, discover what the Chofetz Chaim learned from financial guarantors that revolutionized his approach to Jewish community, and uncover how this ancient principle can transform us from passive observers of other people's spiritual lives into active partners in every fellow Jew's success. As we approach Rosh Hashana, this episode reveals why your neighbor's mitzvos might actually be more your business than you ever imagined - and how embracing that responsibility can deepen your own spiritual growth in ways you never expected. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

We all have that one area where we draw the line – maybe it's being on time, controlling our temper, or giving up a particular comfort. "I'm a good Jew," we tell ourselves, "I just struggle with this one thing." But what if that single exception isn't just a weakness to work on, but undermines our entire relationship with Torah? In this eye-opening episode, we delve into a startling verse from Parshas Ki Savo that reveals why the Ramban and Rabbenu Yonah viewed partial commitment as more perilous than outright rebellion. Through the powerful analogy of a servant who obeys everything except one command, you'll discover the psychological trap that keeps so many of us stuck in spiritual mediocrity – and the surprising path to genuine Torah transformation. Warning: this episode might completely change how you think about your Jewish observance. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

What if the very people who hurt you the most are still controlling your life—not through their actions, but through your hatred of them? In this week's episode, we uncover one of the Torah's most shocking commands hidden in Parshas Ki Teze: "Don't despise an Egyptian" and "Don't despise an Edomite"—the very nations that enslaved and persecuted the Jewish people. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks zt"l reveals why this seemingly impossible mitzvah might be the key to unlocking true freedom in your own life. Whether you're nursing old grudges, replaying past hurts, or feeling trapped by resentment toward someone who wronged you, this episode offers a life-changing perspective on how letting go of justified anger can become your path to liberation. Discover why holding onto hate keeps us enslaved to the very people we despise—and learn the practical steps to break free. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

Ever wonder why a well-prepared lawyer could suddenly become tongue-tied in court just because the judge showed favoritism to their opponent? This week's Parshas Shoftim reveals a profound psychological truth that goes far beyond the courtroom. Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe's stunning insight into "hester panim" (hiding of the face) versus "he'aras panim" (lighting up of the face) exposes the hidden reason why so many of our relationships remain stuck in cold distance. The culprit? We're all waiting for the other person to make the first move. Discover how ancient courtroom etiquette holds the key to transforming every relationship in your life—from that standoffish colleague to the distant family member you've been meaning to reconnect with. Sometimes the most revolutionary act is simply choosing to smile first. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

We all know what's right and wrong, so why do we still make poor choices? In this week's episode on Parshas Reeh, we explore a profound insight from Rav Henoch Liebowitz zt"l about how the Yetzer Hara doesn't try to convince us that wrong is right—instead, it specializes in sophisticated rationalizations that make us believe the rules don't apply to us "this time." Through the lens of the blessings and curses given at Mount Gerizim, we discover that our neshama already knows the right path, but we need to cut through the fog of our own excuses to see it clearly. Learn one simple but transformative practice that can help you recognize when you're rationalizing and restore the clarity you need to make choices aligned with your deepest values. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

Ever wonder why getting back into your learning routine after vacation feels so much harder than you expected? This week's Parshas Ekev reveals a startling spiritual principle that changes everything: when you take one day off from Torah or meaningful prayer, it actually costs you TWO days of effort to get back to where you started. Through a powerful parable from the Yerushalmi about two friends walking in opposite directions, Rav Wolbe shows us why spiritual momentum works both ways - and why even our summer breaks have hidden consequences. If you've ever struggled to reconnect with your spiritual practice after time away, this episode will transform how you think about consistency in your relationship with Hashem. Don't let this summer be the season that sets you back double. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com

What's the difference between a servant who stays loyal through tough times and one who abandons ship at the first sign of trouble? Rashi's profound insight into the Shema reveals a game-changing approach to Jewish observance that could transform your entire spiritual experience. In this episode, inspired by Rabbi Yaakov Kier's "Mussar Moments," we explore how shifting from fear-based to love-based service isn't just nice theology—it's practical psychology that determines whether our mitzvos energize or exhaust us. Plus, discover how the principles from the bestselling book "Atomic Habits" can help you build sustainable spiritual practices that feel more like privileges than burdens. As we enter Shabbos Nachamu, learn why passion beats pressure every time, and how small shifts in perspective can lead to lasting transformation in your relationship with Torah and mitzvos. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit notarabbi.substack.com