Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald's

It has been 10 years since I began my investigation into McDonald's Pizza and related matters such as whatever happened to it, etc. And despite having spent such a short amount of time looking into the issue, I may have already discovered some information about a 1994 lawsuit that could "crack" the case "wide open".

After working as a personal butler to a deranged, elderly former actress, I inherit her fortune upon her untimely death and use it to procure a communist child heir/apprentice from a Christian adoption agency called Kommie Kids.

In a follow-up to last week's episode, I question my favorite prayer hotline about why they hung up on me for asking if God and Satan could "bury the hatchet" and allow Devil-worshippers into Heaven.

I would like to induct the pioneering pizza enthusiast Mr. Ozzy Osbourne into my celebrity hall of fame, but hesitate to do so on account of he worshipped Satan. Can I solve this problem by healing the relationship between God and His nemesis, the devil known as The Devil?

Our Canadian deputy journalist files a report on his country's "new" McPizza Bites, which are part of McDonald's Canada's crime-glorifying International Heist Menu.