Not Vanilla Podcast

Holiday Joy vs. Holiday Blues: How to Show Up Either WayNavigating Friendsgiving, Family Gatherings & FeelingsEpisode Summary:In this vibrant, honest, and hilariously real episode of Not Vanilla, your favorite mother–daughter duo, Roxana and Dominique, explore the emotional mix that comes with Friendsgiving and the full “Thank-mas” holiday season.Whether you’re thriving and full of joy, or moving through grief, burnout, and holiday blues, this episode breaks down how to show up authentically without dimming your light or overwhelming your spirit. From shifting family traditions to inner-child healing, boundaries, burnout, and hosting etiquette, this conversation gets real, gets spicy, and stays full of heart.Real conversations. Real emotions. A little spice. A whole lot of love. 💛Key Takeaways• Holiday pressure is real: emotions, expectations, and shifting family dynamics collide this time of year• Ground your joy without dimming yourself• Avoid energy vamping; bring calm, warm presence• Acknowledge people’s feelings without trying to fix them• Invite don’t pressure: let people participate at their own pace• Showing up when you don’t feel like it is valid• Three show-up styles: Full Show-Up, Soft Show-Up, Love You From a Distance• Create a personal plan: know your limits and exit strategy• Protect your inner child and honor meaningful traditions• Hosting matters: set the vibe and create safe spaces• Presence is more important than performanceResources Mentioned• Hulu series “Unprisoned”• Holiday traditions and family rituals• Friendsgiving and hosting ideas• Emotional boundaries and self-awarenessIf this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who needs comfort, joy, or a real conversation this season. Like, follow, and subscribe to hear more real, vibrant, and spicy episodes from Not Vanilla.Connect With UsListen on Spotify: bit.ly/notvanillaspotWatch on YouTube: bit.ly/notvanillayoutubeFollow on Instagram: bit.ly/notvanillainstagramDon’t forget to comment, like, and subscribe so you never miss a real, vibrant convo with us.New episodes drop bi-weekly! 💛🔥🎧 Listen on Spotify: bit.ly/notvanillaspot📺 Watch on YouTube: bit.ly/notvanillayoutube📸 Follow on Instagram: bit.ly/notvanillainstagram

Mastering De-Escalation: Avoid Your Joseline Hernandez EraMindfulness, maturity, and avoiding emotional regretIn this episode of Not Vanilla, Roxana and Dominique get real about emotional roller coasters, unhealthy coping habits, and what it actually takes to de-escalate in real life — not just in theory.They talk about “de-escalation options” (A: alcohol, B: coffee, C: casino, D: shopping) and how those quick fixes can feel good in the moment but leave you with more anxiety, clutter, debt, or regret later. Through honest stories about emotional eating, impulse spending, gambling urges, overdoing coffee and tea, and even relying too much on meds, they show how easy it is to call something “self-care” when it’s really self-sabotage.They also unpack why having a true de-escalation friend matters — someone who doesn’t just hype you up, but lovingly challenges you and helps you step back from the edge. From Jocelyn Hernandez’s explosive TV moments to the public toxicity of Krishan Rock and Blueface, they reflect on how algorithms normalize chaos and why we have to choose a different pattern for ourselves, our relationships, and our futures.This is a funny, vulnerable, mother–daughter conversation about catching yourself before you spiral, choosing maturity, and building a life where you don’t keep apologizing for “going off.”Key Takeaways:• De-escalation starts with self-awareness: notice your patterns before they take over.• Not everything that feels good in the moment is actually de-escalation; some habits quietly escalate stress (shopping, gambling, bingeing, over-drinking, etc.).• A real de-escalation friend doesn’t just cosign your feelings; they help you slow down, think, and choose better.• How you react has consequences—for your money, health, relationships, and how safe people feel with you.• Growth is when you can see yourself choosing differently than you would have in the past—and feeling proud of that.Resources:* 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique (CALM Guide): https://www.calm.com/blog/5-4-3-2-1-a-simple-exercise-to-calm-the-mind *HelpGuide: Understanding Emotional Regulation: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-regulation.htm*988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 anytime for support. https://988lifeline.orgIf this episode made you think, laugh, or reflect, share it with someone who needs it. Tell us your favorite de-escalation strategy, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe. New episodes drop bi-weekly.Connect with Us:Listen on Spotify: bit.ly/notvanillaspotWatch on YouTube: bit.ly/notvanillayoutubeFollow us on Instagram: bit.ly/notvanillainstagram#mentalhealth #socialmedia #selfcare #notvanillapodcast

New Year, Same You? Tackling Blue Monday, MLK’s Legacy, and Life’s PotholesPodcast Show Notes:Welcome to Season 2 of the Not Vanilla Podcast with your favorite mother-daughter duo, Roxana and Dominique! 🎙️ We’re kicking off the new year with a blend of reflection, motivation, and real talk.In this episode, we’re diving into a few things that might be on your mind:✨ Happy New Year: Is it really “new year, new me”? Or can we embrace who we are while making space for growth? We discuss our thoughts on this timeless question.🌨️ Blue Monday: The third Monday of January is often called the “saddest day of the year.” We unpack why it feels that way and share tips to beat the blues—stay present, journal, and keep the holiday spirit alive all year long.✊🏾 Honoring MLK’s Legacy: We reflect on Martin Luther King Jr.’s message of unity, equality, and hope, and how his words continue to guide us in challenging times.🛞 Getting Over Life’s Potholes: Life isn’t always smooth sailing. From financial stress to the winter blues, we discuss how to tackle life’s setbacks with resilience, self-care, and a healthy dose of humor.We’re also excited to announce that Season 2 will be a biweekly podcast, and we’re bringing you a new format! Get ready to meet our friends, hear new perspectives, and get to know us even more. We’re ready to share our journey with you and bring you along for the ride.Join us for a fun, inspiring episode that’s anything but vanilla!💬 Have thoughts or tips to share? DM us on Instagram @Not_Vanilla_ or drop a comment!📢 Don’t forget to like, follow, and share this episode with someone who might need a little inspiration today!#NotVanillaPodcast #Season2 #BlueMonday #MLKDay #MentalHealth #LifePotholes #SelfCare

A real end of year convo on letting go, choosing intention, and moving forwardChristmas is behind us, Hanukkah has passed (we don’t celebrate it, but we appreciate the Festival of Lights), we’re in the midst of Kwanzaa, and New Year’s is right around the corner and this “in-between week” has us reflecting in real time.In this episode, Roxana and Dominique talk about how fast the year flew by, how the constant flood of bad news can create a numbing effect, and how we can stay compassionate without carrying everything. We also get personal: birthdays as a “real reset,” why growth often looks like letting go, and why we’re done repeating patterns that already proved they don’t fit.We also share what we love about Kwanzaa (even though we didn’t grow up celebrating it) and break down the seven principles — unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith — plus why we’re considering celebrating it more intentionally next year. We also talk about money after the holidays: depleted savings, spending remorse, and how to reset without shame.Key Takeaways:• The week between holidays and New Year’s is a natural pause point — a chance to reflect instead of rushing.• With so much bad news, forgetting happens from overload — the goal is compassion without numbness.• Growth often feels like letting go: stop re-exposing yourself to the same chaos, patterns, or “second chances” you already know you don’t want.• Your “new year” can be New Year’s or your birthday — what matters is choosing a cycle that motivates action and follow-through.• Kwanzaa’s principles are a powerful blueprint for intentional living (even if you’re new to celebrating it).• After-holiday finances are part of wellness — reset with awareness and boundaries, not guilt.Correction note: In the episode, we referenced the length of the last government shutdown. For accuracy, the shutdown discussed was the longest government shutdown in U.S. history, lasting 43 days and resulting in widespread federal furloughs and closures of government institutions.If this episode hit home, tell us: What’s one thing you’re releasing from this year and one thing you’re carrying into 2026?Connect with Us:Listen on Spotify: bit.ly/notvanillaspotWatch on YouTube: bit.ly/notvanillayoutubeFollow on Instagram: bit.ly/notvanillainstagram#notvanillapodcast, #endofyearreflection, #newyearreset, #kwanzaa, #intentionalliving, #motherdaughterpodcast, #wellnessconversation, #lettinggo, #financialwellness, #mindfulness, #2026vision

Layoff Lemonade (Part 2 of 2): AI, Upskilling, and the Truth About “Replacement”From barber clippers to bots — using tools without losing your mind (or your rights)In Part Two of Layoff Lemonade, Roxana and Dominique bring in Anthony (Tony) for a real, funny, and surprisingly deep conversation about what it actually looks like to move from scarcity to success. We unpack the origin of “Not Vanilla” (butter pecan + making something out of scraps), then shift into upskilling in real life—the kind that happens when you’re trying to save money, stabilize your home, and stay connected to what matters.From learning skills out of necessity (haircuts, DIY, cooking, creative projects) to a spicy debate on AI, workplace myths, fake sources, and surveillance tech, this episode makes one thing clear: AI can support your growth, but it can’t replace your discernment, your creativity, or your humanity. We close with grounded advice: learn the tool, but don’t let it become your crutch.Key Takeaways:“Not Vanilla” is more than a name — it’s about making something out of what you have, even when resources are limited.Upskilling isn’t always a class or certificate; sometimes it’s DIY survival skills that become long-term assets.A “home” isn’t just a place to sleep — it’s stability, connection, and a household that supports your life.AI can be powerful, but it’s best seen as a toolkit, not a full replacement for a human being.The smartest approach is learning to work with AI and without AI—because systems fail, internet drops, and you still need your skills.AI can “hallucinate” and even create fake citations, which makes verification and media literacy non-negotiable.Surveillance tech (like Flock cameras) raises major questions about privacy, accuracy, and civil rights—especially when tools are used without accountability.Bias and incomplete data (especially around Black health history) can make AI outputs unreliable or harmful if people treat them like truth.Resources Mentioned:Notes app (voice notes + journaling to process thoughts and decisions)AI tools for workflow support (writing help, organization, editing)Media literacy reminder: verify sources, don’t trust “confident” answers without proofExamples discussed: predictive text/autocorrect, auto-tune, editing tools as “older forms” of AISurveillance tech discussion: Flock cameras + privacy concernsIf this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who’s navigating a layoff, furlough, or career pivot—especially if they’re trying to figure out how to skill up without getting overwhelmed. And ask yourself: What’s one tool (AI or not) you can use to support your growth—without handing over your common sense?Connect with Us:Listen on Spotify: bit.ly/notvanillaspotWatch on YouTube: bit.ly/notvanillayoutubeFollow on Instagram: bit.ly/notvanillainstagram#notvanillapodcast, #LayoffLemonade, #CareerPivot, #Upskilling, #Reskilling, #AIintheWorkplace, #TechAndEthics, #CareerResilience, #WorkplaceWellness, #MentalHealthConversations, #ScarcityToSuccess, #GrowthMindset

Layoff Lemonade (Part 1 of 2): Sipping Success From ScarcityTurning layoffs, furloughs, and frustration into clarity, skills, and next stepsEpisode Summary:In Part One of Layoff Lemonade: Sipping Success from Scarcity, Roxana and Dominique explore what happens after the shock of layoffs, furloughs, and workplace instability. From the emotional rollercoaster to the first mindset shift, this episode reframes job loss as a pivot point rather than an ending. We talk about releasing fear, organizing your thoughts, recognizing early warning signs, and understanding how scarcity can spark creativity, clarity, and growth. This is a grounding, honest conversation for anyone navigating career uncertainty and trying to figure out their next step.Key Takeaways:Layoffs and furloughs often trigger denial, anger, fear, and a sense of being set back to zero.Writing things down or talking them into your notes app helps move emotions out of your body and into clarity.A layoff does not mean failure; it can be a pivot point that creates unexpected freedom.Taking a breath and releasing dread allows you to ask a powerful question: “What do I have now that I didn’t have before?”Scarcity forces creativity and innovation by narrowing options and sharpening focus.Dormant skills and passions often resurface during times of limitation.Clarity comes when you stop trying to do everything and start choosing what truly aligns.Your network is part of your resource pool and should be activated intentionally.Resources Mentioned:Notes app (voice notes and journaling for processing thoughts)Resume refresh and skill re-labelingYouTube University for practical skill-buildingExamples of scarcity-proof skills discussed: electrician, plumber, contractor, carpentry, paintingIf this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who is navigating a layoff, furlough, or career pivot. Take a moment to reflect on one skill you already have that you can build on during this season.Connect With Us:Listen on Spotify: bit.ly/notvanillaspotWatch on YouTube: bit.ly/notvanillayoutubeFollow on Instagram: bit.ly/notvanillainstagram#notvanillapodcast, #LayoffLemonade, #CareerPivot, #LayoffRecovery, #CareerResilience, #ScarcityMindset, #GrowthMindset, #JobSearchSupport, #WorkplaceWellness, #MentalHealthConversations

Not Vanilla - After Dark Edition: The Power of Sibling Bonds In this engaging episode of Not Vanilla, Roxy and Nique dive deep into the world of sibling relationships. Joined by special guests Anthony Feenster and Roxy's son, they explore the cherished memories and varied experiences that shape sibling bonds. From nostalgic childhood games to collaborative adult decisions like buying a car, this conversation captures the essence of growing up together. The discussion also addresses the complexities of sibling dynamics. While celebrating the joys and support siblings provide, our hosts tackle the inevitable challenges and conflicts, offering practical insights into maintaining healthy relationships. A focal point is the importance of being there for one another in ways that truly meet each sibling's unique needs—emphasizing personalized support, honesty, and nurturing diverse perspectives. As the episode reflects on the powerful role siblings play in shaping our lives, it highlights key elements like trust, confidentiality, and forgiveness that help keep these relationships strong. Ending on a note of gratitude, Roxy and Nique encourage listeners to cherish their sibling connections while teasing future episodes that will extend the conversation to close friendships. Key Takeaways: 1. Strong Bonds Through Shared Experiences: Memories with siblings, whether playful or profound, forge lasting connections that span a lifetime. 2. Support and Healing: Siblings can provide a unique blend of joy and comfort during both good times and bad, offering a deep source of healing. 3. Navigating Challenges: Reflecting on positive experiences can help overcome challenges, reinforcing the importance of maintaining healthy dynamics. 4. Personalized Support: Show up for siblings in ways that genuinely meet their individual needs, fostering a supportive and nurturing environment. 5. Embracing Diversity: Valuing diverse perspectives and personalities within sibling relationships enriches these bonds, making each interaction meaningful. 6. Foundations of Trust: Building trust, maintaining confidentiality, and practicing forgiveness are pillars that sustain and strengthen sibling relationships. 7. Express Gratitude: Always express gratitude for your siblings and the irreplaceable role they play in your life. Tune in to celebrate the joy, complexity, and strength of sibling relationships! Don’t forget to subscribe for future episodes where we expand the conversation to the powerful bonds of friendship.

Not Vanilla Episode 5: Mom-Daughter Power: Evolving Together as a Dynamic DuoIn this episode of Not Vanilla, Roxy and Nique dive into the rich, complex world of mother-daughter relationships. They explore the unique dynamics that make these bonds so powerful, focusing on the critical role of trust, open communication, and creating a safe space for honest expression. Through heartfelt personal stories and experiences, they illuminate the deep emotional connections and the impactful role modeli...

Not Vanilla Podcast 4: Scrolling While Black: Race, Social Media, and Mental WellnessIn this episode of Not Vanilla, Roxy and Nique go deep into the heart-wrenching story of Sonya Massey's life and death, which seems to resonate with the tragic history of racial violence in America. We discuss the systemic issues that perpetuate these tragedies, the urgent need for change, and the effects on our mental health and wellness as we watch it all unfold on repeat in the news and social media. We sh...

Not Vanilla Episode 3: Scrolling into Sanity: Social Media + Mental Health with Therapist Nia JonesIn this episode of Not Vanilla, Roxana and Dominique dive deep into the complex relationship between social media and mental health. We chat with therapist Nia Jones about the potential benefits and drawbacks of social media, the impact of the curated highlight reel on self-esteem, the addictive nature of platforms, and how excessive use can contribute to mental health issues like anxiety and de...

Not Vanilla Episode 2: Embracing Summer: Plans, Family Time, and Mental HealthIn this episode, Not Vanilla hosts Roxana and Dominique dive into everything you need to make the most out of your summer. From crafting unforgettable memories and planning joy-filled activities to staying mindful and managing social pressures, we've got you covered.Episode Highlights:Why Planning Matters: Roxana and Dominique discuss how planning enhances your summer experience and share practical tips for organizi...

In this episode of the Not Vanilla Podcast, co-hosts Dominique and Roxana tackle the challenges of managing life’s disappointments and expectations. We've all heard the saying about making lemonade out of life's lemons, but what does that really look like? Dominique and Roxana take a deep dive into discussing disappointments at work, in life, in friendships, and more.From real-life examples like Drake and J. Cole's beef to their own personal experiences, they share relatable stories and valua...