Confessions of a Selfish Bitch

This guided meditation supports open awareness, nervous system regulation, and emotional tolerance in real-world conditions.Designed to be practiced anywhere, this session focuses on breath, body awareness, and learning to stay present without tightening or controlling experience. Rather than eliminating distraction, the practice builds discernment, patience, and the capacity to remain grounded amidst noise, movement, and internal tension.This meditation is especially supportive if you’re feeling overstimulated, reactive, or overwhelmed by your environment.Open awareness meditation guidanceBreathwork for nervous system supportGentle vagus nerve activationReleasing tension and resistanceCultivating tolerance and discernmentThis practice is an invitation to soften your grip on control and meet life with steadiness and awareness.

In this episode, Cher explores what it really means to let go of the little things —of irritation, control, and the urge to fix what’s outside of you.This is a conversation about self-awareness, discernment, and emotional regulation in real life—not in silence, not on a cushion, but in relationships, aging bodies, daily frustrations, and overstimulated environments.If you’ve been feeling triggered, overwhelmed, or stuck in repetitive patterns, this episode offers a compassionate but honest reframe: peace doesn’t come from controlling the world—it comes from learning to manage yourself.A practical meditation approach that works in noisy, real-world settingsWhy resistance and control are the same thingLetting go without bypassing emotionTolerance versus fixing othersAnnoyance as a mirror for inner workBoundaries versus discernmentSelf-prioritization without guiltForgiveness, responsibility, and emotional peaceTopics includeMentioned in this episodeEpisode 2: Foundational Meditation PracticePrivate Advisory support with Cher

This minisode offers simple guidance — a short pause you can return to anytime you need to slow down and reconnect with yourself.In this guided mini-session, Cher walks you through a stream-of-consciousness journaling practice designed to support self-reflection, emotional release, and clarity — without pressure, fixing, or overthinking.This is not a deep dive.It’s an invitation to create space.You’ll be encouraged to:Put your phone on Do Not DisturbSet aside a few quiet minutesWrite without editing, censoring, or judging yourselfPractice kindness and patience as thoughts and feelings surfaceWhy short, intentional reflective practices are powerfulHow to use stream-of-consciousness journaling to release mental clutterLetting thoughts move without trying to solve or control themNoticing patterns, emotions, and beliefs without attaching meaningCreating a simple morning or anytime contemplative practiceChoosing self-compassion over self-criticism while reflectingThis minisode is especially supportive if:You keep encountering repetitive outcomes and want to understand your role in themYou’re attached to ways of being you know are no longer healthy or true for youYou want to intentionally examine your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors — not avoid themYou notice rumination or looping and want to explore what’s underneath itYou’re ready to create space for new, more aligned life experiencesYou want a contemplative practice that encourages honest inquiry with self-kindnessGrowth doesn’t require intensity.It requires presence — practiced gently, again and again.This minisode is part of a larger midlife self-evolution series.

Letting go isn’t a one-time event — it’s the beginning of a longer conversation.In this episode of Confessions of a Selfish Bitch, Cher opens a new series by exploring why letting go is often the first — and most necessary — step in midlife self-evolution.Rather than offering answers or quick fixes, this episode invites reflection on the many places where we stay attached long past usefulness — to beliefs, behaviors, coping mechanisms, relational roles, and inner stories that once helped us survive.This is not the episode on letting go.It’s the starting point.Topics introduced include:Why awareness alone doesn’t create changeLetting go of grudges and the deeper inquiry of forgivenessCo-dependent participation and over-functioningToxic coping mechanisms and trauma-based habitsBoundaries vs. clarified valuesBeliefs about self-worth and identityThe need to know, control, or stay certainThis episode sets the foundation for what comes next:a deeper exploration of how midlife asks us to release, refine, and re-choose ourselves.Letting go begins quietly —with honesty, curiosity, and a willingness to stop carrying what no longer fits.

This minisode is a practical pause. Cher guides you through a simple reflection to interrupt autopilot thinking, move beyond “that’s just how I am,” and begin making small, intentional changes using the WOOP method and the 1% principle from Atomic Habits._______________________________________________________________In this mini episode of Confessions of a Selfish Bitch, I’m inviting you into a brief but meaningful reset.So many of us move through midlife repeating patterns — not because we want to, but because they’ve become familiar. We tell ourselves, “That’s just how I am,” and stop questioning what might actually be possible now.This minisode is designed to interrupt that reflex.I walk you through a simple reflective process using two grounded frameworks that work especially well in midlife:The WOOP method (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan), developed by Gabrielle Oettingen, to help you name what you want and identify what’s quietly in the wayThe 1% principle from Atomic Habits by James Clear, reminding us that small, consistent efforts create real change over timeThis isn’t about fixing yourself or forcing growth.It’s about noticing, choosing, and taking one honest step forward.Perfect to listen to when you want something short, steady, and actionable.Key Takeaways “That’s just how I am” no longer works for you Awareness creates choiceWOOP helps identify internal obstacles without self-blameSmall actions compound into meaningful changeMidlife responds to consistency, not intensityChapters Introduction & purposeMoving beyond “that’s just how I am”Naming your wishIdentifying internal obstaclesCreating a simple, doable planSmall changes that compound

Self-sabotage in midlife isn’t a character flaw — it’s often unconscious autopilot. In this episode, Cher shares real-life, practical ways on HOW to slow automatic reactions, interrupt old patterns, and begin making intentional changes that actually stick. Drawing from the WOOP method and the 1% principle from Atomic Habits, this conversation focuses on baby steps, nervous-system awareness, and reclaiming agency without shame or pressure._______________________________________________________________I recorded this episode very intentionally.Not to motivate you for a moment —but to give you real, usable ways on HOW to start changing your life in real time.Midlife is often where we realize that the things we do automatically — our reactions, beliefs, coping strategies, and behaviors — are no longer supporting us. What once helped us survive quietly turns into self-sabotage.Not because we’re broken.Because no one ever taught us how to interrupt autopilot.In this episode of Confessions of a Selfish Bitch, I talk about real, practical tools on HOW change actually begins in midlife.This episode is not about dramatic reinvention.It’s about self-evolution through awareness and consistency.Why most self-sabotage is unconscious — not intentionalHow midlife exposes autopilot patterns that no longer workWhy slowing reactions is the first act of real self-leadershipHow small changes compound into meaningful transformationI introduce two complementary frameworks that work especially well in midlife:Developed by Gabrielle Oettingen, WOOP (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan) helps you:Name what you actually want (without editing yourself)Identify internal obstacles instead of blaming circumstancesCreate honest, doable plans that respect your nervous systemWOOP isn’t about positive thinking — it’s about conscious participation.Drawing from Atomic Habits by James Clear, we talk about why:Small, consistent changes outperform big intentionsInterrupting a pattern by 1% is enough to change its trajectoryMidlife responds better to repetition than intensityTogether, these tools help you slow the moment before reaction — where self-sabotage usually lives — and replace it with choice.Midlife doesn’t ask you to try harder.It asks you to notice sooner, choose differently, and repeat gently.This episode is for you if:You react before you realize what’s happeningYou understand your patterns intellectually but still repeat themYou want change that doesn’t overwhelm your nervous systemYou’re ready to stop abandoning yourself in subtle, automatic waysInterrupting autopilot isn’t dramatic.It’s quiet.And it’s powerful.What we explore in this episode:🔹 The WOOP Method🔹 The 1% Principle from Atomic Habits

In this minisode of Confessions of a Selfish Bitch, Cher gets direct about something many people avoid: personal evolution doesn’t happen through contemplation alone — it requires action.Reading the books, studying spirituality, going to therapy, getting on the mat — none of it creates real change unless it’s practiced in daily life.Cher explores the powerful shift from seeing life as happening to you versus happening for you, and how that single perspective change can bring real peace. She breaks down why choice — especially the small, moment-to-moment ones — is what actually shapes a life.In this episode, Cher covers:Why personal growth without practice stallsHow the “for me” perspective changes everythingWhy the smallest choices are the ones that matter mostPresence as a daily, intentional practiceA simple way to start each morning with conscious awarenessThis minisode offers a grounded invitation:Pause. Notice. Choose differently.📩 Want to share how this practice lands for you?Email Cher at hello@chermeli.com or DM her on Instagram.Nalanda Institute for Contemplative Sciences

In this episode of Confessions of a Selfish Bitch, Cher shares the moment her spiritual and personal growth practice became real — not aspirational, not performative, but lived.After 15 years of studying yoga, Buddhism, mysticism, and personal development, Cher realized she had been gathering information without truly practicing. That realization came during one of the lowest points of her life — her second divorce — when she could no longer blame circumstances, partners, or patterns outside herself.This episode explores:The difference between studying growth and actually practicing itWhy true personal growth is uncomfortable — and often cringe-worthyWhat Cher calls Empowered ResponsibilityWhy “emotional safety” is an illusionHow forgiveness begins with “I’m sorry”Why people are mirrors — especially in relationshipsHow self-awareness, presence, and responsibility end repetitive patternsThis is not about shame, self-attack, or self-improvement culture. It’s about choosing growth over comfort — and truth over illusion.If this episode challenges you, good. That’s where the practice begins.Chapters00:00 Introduction & the Confession03:12 When Studying Isn’t Practicing07:45 The Dark Night of the Soul11:40 Becoming the Common Factor16:30 Empowered Responsibility Explained21:55 Why Emotional Safety Is an Illusion27:10 People as Mirrors33:40 Forgiveness & Ho’oponopono41:20 Boundaries, Triggers & Intimacy50:05 Presence, Journaling & Integration Tools58:30 Closing Reflections & InvitationKey Takeaways Everything up until a certain point in life is gathering information and experiences. True practice of personal growth is uncomfortable and cringe-worthy. The depth of suffering is directly related to the depth of love and care. Emotional safety is an illusion; true peace comes from within. People are mirrors for us, reflecting our own issues. Empowered Responsibility means life happens for you, not to you. Boundaries based on past experiences can hinder true intimacy. Forgiveness starts with saying 'I'm sorry' and is essential for healing. Presence and self-awareness are key to personal growth. Every choice, big or small, shapes your life.The Little Soul and the Sun – Neale Donald WalschMy Guided Forgiveness Practice

In this minisode of Confessions of a Selfish Bitch, Cher shares her signature meditation practice, originally developed in the aftermath of 9/11, during a time of heightened anxiety and nervous system overwhelm.This is a real-life meditation—one that doesn’t require silence, perfection, or escape. Instead of fighting external sounds or wandering thoughts, Cher guides you to allow them to exist while gently returning your attention inward.In this guided practice, you’ll explore:Using the breath as a neutral anchorAllowing sound instead of resisting itBreathj or the Hum–Sa mantra as a grounding toolAwareness without judgmentGratitude as a stabilizing baselineThis meditation is ideal if you:Feel anxious, overstimulated, or mentally busyStruggle with traditional silent meditationWant a practice you can actually use in daily lifeNo fixing. No forcing. Just presence.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Meditation Practice01:27 The Unique Approach to Meditation03:21 Guided Meditation Session12:08 Reflection and GratitudeHere are the links to the mini course on my meditation method & additional guided practice - ENJOY!Course:  https://youtu.be/BdWzAT9tZ6EPractice: https://youtu.be/UI062VW7JVY

In this episode of Confessions of a Selfish Bitch, Cher dismantles the If-When-Then mindset—the belief that happiness will finally arrive if someone changes, when a relationship improves, or then life will feel settled.She breaks down how conditional happiness quietly fuels transactional relationships, unmet expectations, resentment, and emotional exhaustion—especially for women who’ve been trained to over-give and under-prioritize themselves.This episode is a direct, grounded conversation about:Why happiness built on conditions never lastsHow “fairness” and score-keeping poison relationshipsThe difference between selfishness and self-respectWhy gratitude should be a baseline—not a coping toolHow identifying your core values changes everythingIf you’ve ever caught yourself thinking “I’ll be happy when…”—this episode is your wake-up call.You are not waiting for happiness. You’re postponing it.00:00 The Happiness Trap: If-When-Then Mindset02:58 Transactional Relationships and Their Consequences05:50 Selfishness vs. Self-Care: A Deep Dive08:44 The Role of Expectations in Relationships11:22 Recognizing the Common Factor in Our Happiness14:13 Understanding Core Values and Boundaries17:12 Shifting Focus: From Pain to Gratitude19:49 Taking Responsibility for Your Happiness22:49 Embracing Self-Prioritization25:45 Final Thoughts and Call to ActionTakeawaysHappiness should not be conditional on external factors.Transactional relationships can lead to selfish behavior.Expectations in relationships often lead to disappointment.Self-awareness is crucial for personal growth.Recognizing your core values helps establish boundaries.Gratitude should be a baseline, not a special practice.You are responsible for your own happiness.Self-care is not selfish; it's necessary.Shifting focus from pain to positivity is essential.Embracing self-prioritization leads to a fulfilling life.

In this minisode of Confessions of a Selfish Bitch, Cher introduces vagus nerve breathing — a practical, embodied tool to support emotional regulation, self-awareness, and nervous system calm.Cher explains why self-nourishing practices often feel uncomfortable at first, how comfort zones can quietly become habit zones, and why breath is one of the most accessible ways to interrupt stress patterns in real time.Listeners are guided through the breathing practice and encouraged to use it before stressful moments, emotional conversations, or anytime regulation feels necessary.This episode is a reminder that self-care isn’t about avoidance — it’s about presence.Vagus nerve breathing explained simplyWhy discomfort can signal awarenessHow breath supports emotional regulationWhen and how to use this practice dailyIn this minisode:🎙 Confessions of a Selfish Bitch explores emotional truth, embodied self-care, and personal responsibility — without bypassing or fluff.SummaryIn this mini-episode, Cher introduces self-nourishing practices aimed at personal growth and emotional regulation. She emphasizes the importance of stepping out of comfort zones and presents a specific breathing technique known as vagus nerve breathing, which can help calm the nervous system and manage stress. Cher guides listeners through the breathing exercise, highlighting its practical applications in daily life.TakeawaysThese practices are meant to be uncomfortable.Comfort zones can be just habit zones.Vagus nerve breathing can calm your nervous system.Breathing in through the nose is essential.Making sounds while exhaling can reveal discomfort.Awareness is key to personal growth.Use vagus nerve breathing before stressful situations.This technique can be practiced daily.Cher shares resources and practices for self-care.Self-nourishing practices are vital for emotional health.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Self-Nourishing Practices01:55 Understanding Vagus Nerve Breathing05:27 Practical Applications of Vagus Nerve Breathing

In the inaugural episode of Confessions of a Selfish Bitch, host Cher Meli shares the deeply personal origin story behind the label that shaped her life—and this podcast.What began as a word used against her became an initiation into self-responsibility, boundary-setting, and the long work of breaking ancestral patterns. Through stories of family, lineage, spirituality, and lived experience, Cher explores how relationships—especially with our parents—become the primary arena for healing, growth, and personal evolution.This episode introduces the core lens of the show: that the people and situations that cause us the greatest discomfort are not happening to us, but for us—inviting awareness, responsibility, and choice.This is not a conversation about blaming parents, partners, or the past.It is about reclaiming power, understanding inherited patterns, and choosing yourself without apology.Referenced in this Podcast: The Little Soul and the Sun by Neale Donald WalschAnatomy of the Spirit by Caroline MyssBuddhist and contemplative traditionsClassical Yoga philosophy and self-study (svadhyaya)If you’re navigating a situation in your life and want a fresh, no-bullshit, spiritually grounded perspective, you’re welcome to email me at hello@chermeli.com. I read every message and often use real-life questions to shape future episodes and companion Minisodes.I also work as a Private Advisor for women who are considering or navigating major life transitions or periods of reinvention. I work with a limited number of clients at a time, allowing me to offer sustained, attentive support—grounded in trust, continuity, and the kind of presence you’d expect from someone firmly in your corner.If working together feels aligned, you’re welcome to reach out at hello@chermeli.com

Confessions of a Selfish Bitch is a bold, intimate podcast for midlife women ready to stop self-abandoning and start choosing themselves.Hosted by Cher Meli, the show explores emotional truth, self-sovereignty, relationships, wellbeing, and reinvention—without sugarcoating or apology.This trailer introduces the heart of the show and what’s coming next.🎙 New episodes launching January 2026🌿 Women’s wellness events & programming through Midlife Mastery™Learn more at CherMeli.com