Classic Metal Show

Big Tech is rotting, your career is a ticking time bomb, and the music industry thinks you’re a “stupid” mark waiting to be robbed. Chris and Neeley strip the skin off the corporate bones to show you how AI is killing the “soul” of rock while Ticketmaster laughs all the way to the bank. Stop being a victim of the delusional nostalgia circuit and get the unfiltered truth before you’re erased.JOIN THE INNER CIRCLE OR GET LEFT BEHIND: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com– Google is Obsolete: Why you’re officially a dinosaur in the AI era.– The Ratt & Dokken AI “Albums”: Why robots sound better than Don Dokken in 2026.– “Tommy Tickets” & The Facebook Scams: How low-IQ fans keep getting fleeced.– The $1,800 Service Fee: Inside the leaked emails calling Metallica fans “stupid.”– Twisted Sister’s “Reunion” Circus: Another desperate grab for your retirement fund.THE REVENUE BLOCK (SHUFFLE PROTOCOL v1.0)Stop being a cheap bastard and support the show that tells you the truth. Grab this gear before the economy collapses:Van Halen F.U.C.K. Box Set: https://amzn.to/4l600LhRatt Atlantic Years Box: https://amzn.to/4m0HxkNBlack Sabbath Sabotage Box: https://amzn.to/45gHgDcCMS Hail and Snore Pillow: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/hail-and-snore-pillowCause & Effect: Metallica by Chris Akin: https://amzn.to/4fjrLzN(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)GET A PERSONALIZED INSULT FROM CHRIS: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinREAD THE RECENT TRUTH BOMBS: SATURDAY LIVE: Join the carnage every Saturday night from 9 PM - 3 AM EST. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

L.A. Guns guitarist Tracy Guns decided he was too “delicate” to handle the Texas heat, so he performed an entire concert from a backstage bathroom. Chris Akin and the CMS crew shred this “unprofessional douche move” to pieces, exposing the absolute lack of integrity in modern rock. If you want the unfiltered truth about why the music industry is dying, you need to be in the inner circle.JOIN THE VIP INSIDERS NOW: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com– L.A. Guns plays Plano, and Tracy Guns hides in a shipping container bathroom.– The “Heat Anxiety” excuse: Why medical conditions shouldn’t be a license to rip off fans.– Faster Pussycat got blocked from the shower because Tracy was “performing” in there.– The “Studio Session” vs. The Concert: Why a guitarist you can’t see isn’t a performance.– Chris Akin goes nuclear on the “Tidy Bowl Tour” and the death of rock star standards.Grab These Metal Essentials:Ratt Atlantic Years Box: https://amzn.to/4m0HxkNKiss Dressed To Kill 50th: https://amzn.to/47VhiaWVan Halen F.U.C.K. Box Set: https://amzn.to/4l600LhCMS iPhone Tough Case: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/iphone-tough-case-1451Book: ...And Other Things I Should Not Say... by Chris Akin: https://amzn.to/48v3YVf(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)GET A PERSONALIZED SHOUTOUT FROM CHRIS AKIN: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinTHE CMS SUBSTACK: WATCH LIVE EVERY SATURDAY: 9 PM - 3 AM EST at https://www.theclassicmetalshow.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Tracii Guns continues his streak of being the most “delicate” man in hair metal by allegedly canceling a Florida gig because it was—wait for it—too hot. We dive deep into the absolute disaster that is the L.A. Guns touring schedule and why these “rock stars” have become softer than a marshmallow in a microwave. Plus, we’re dissecting Bill Burr’s latest Netflix special to find out where the actual jokes went.GET THE UNFILTERED TRUTH AT OUR VIP LOCALS: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com* Tracii Guns vs. Humidity: Why L.A. Guns can’t handle a little Florida sun.* The “Captain” Memorial: Remembering CMS Mikey’s grandfather and his legendary bluntness.* COVID Cuckery: CMS Tim calls in from Australia to lecture us on vaccines. It goes as well as you’d think.* Bill Burr at Red Rocks: Is Bill becoming a “Statement Comedian” instead of a funny one?* Fat-Shaming & Fact-Checking: The boys weigh in on “Plus Size” models and the death of standards.(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)BLACK SABBATH 70-75 COLLECTION: https://amzn.to/4oUeEIgGNR 88-92 BOX SET: https://amzn.to/4o5xcEhDOKKEN ELEKTRA VINYL: https://amzn.to/4l4JISZCMS HAIL AND SNORE PILLOW: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/hail-and-snore-pillowLITTLE VICTORIES BY CHRIS AKIN: https://amzn.to/46UxCYgCAMEO: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinSUBSTACK: SATURDAY LIVE: Catch THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW every Saturday night from 9 PM - 3 AM EST! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Think you’re smart enough to outrun the law? You’re not, and your “smart” devices are the reason why the cops are laughing at your interrogation tapes. We’re breaking down the absolute stupidity of modern criminals and why your privacy is a total myth in 2026.GET THE UNFILTERED TRUTH HERE: https://classicmetalshow.locals.comThe “One Minute” Warning: Why you’re never actually ready for a live broadcast.Murder 101: Why burning the house down is the only real “cleaning” solution.The Apple Snitch: How the iWatch and iPhone became the ultimate state’s witnesses.The “White Suite” Premium: Charging $75 to sleep in a jailer’s escape room.Ray Liotta vs. The Sleestak: A tribute that went off the rails immediately.Black Sabbath 70-75 Box Set: https://amzn.to/4oUeEIgMetallica LOAD Vinyl: https://amzn.to/4fjGnOwJourney 76-83 Collection: https://amzn.to/48rPif8CMS Pint Glass: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/cms-pint-glass...And Other Things I Should Not Say... (By Chris Akin): https://amzn.to/48v3YVf(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)BOOK A PERSONALIZED SHOUTOUT: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinREAD THE REVIEWS & MOANS: JOIN THE CHAOS LIVE: Every Saturday night from 9 PM - 3 AM EST. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Lou Gramm is out here crying about Kelly Hansen “mimicking” him, but here’s the cold, hard truth: nobody wants to hear a version of “Juke Box Hero” that doesn’t sound like the record. We’re breaking down the ego, the bitterness, and the absolute insanity of a guy putting expanding foam in his junk just to get an erection. It’s uncensored, it’s offensive, and it’s exactly why you need to be behind the paywall.GET THE UNFILTERED TRUTH AT OUR VIP LINK: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com– Expanding Foam Fails: A Florida woman tries to “plump up” her man with home insulation. Spoiler: it didn’t end well for his junk.– The “Sounding” Craze: Why the hell are dudes sticking objects in their urethras? We dive into the most painful “sexy” story ever.– Lou Gramm vs. Kelly Hansen: Lou is butt-hurt that the new guy sounds exactly like him. Isn’t that the point of a replacement, Lou?– Tribute Band Reality: Chris and the gang argue why a high-energy “tribute” version of Foreigner is better than a sad, slow original.– Midnight Blue Nostalgia: We spin some solo Lou Gramm and remind you why he was great, even if he’s a cranky old man now.Revenue BlockAC/DC Highway to Hell Live:https://amzn.to/4oetQjLGhost Papa Emeritus IV Funko:https://amzn.to/4fk5sJrBlack Sabbath Sabotage Box:https://amzn.to/45gHgDcCMS Pint Glass:https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/cms-pint-glassCause & Effect Judas Priest by Chris Akin:https://amzn.to/4cvovB2(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)WANT A PERSONAL SHOUTOUT? Grab a Cameo from Chris Akin:https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinJOIN THE NEWSLETTER: Uncensored thoughts delivered to your inbox:https://cmspn.substack.comSATURDAY NIGHTS ARE FOR SINNERS: Catch the CMS Live every Saturday from 9 PM - 3 AM EST! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Think you’re smart enough to outrun the law? You’re not, and your “smart” devices are the reason why the cops are laughing at your interrogation tapes. We’re breaking down the absolute stupidity of modern criminals and why your privacy is a total myth in 2026.GET THE UNFILTERED TRUTH HERE: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com* The “One Minute” Warning: Why you’re never actually ready for a live broadcast.* Murder 101: Why burning the house down is the only real “cleaning” solution.* The Apple Snitch: How the iWatch and iPhone became the ultimate state’s witnesses.* The “White Suite” Premium: Charging $75 to sleep in a jailer’s escape room.* Ray Liotta vs. The Sleestak: A tribute that went off the rails immediately.Black Sabbath 70-75 Box Set: https://amzn.to/4oUeEIgMetallica LOAD Vinyl: https://amzn.to/4fjGnOwJourney 76-83 Collection: https://amzn.to/48rPif8CMS Pint Glass: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/cms-pint-glass...And Other Things I Should Not Say... (By Chris Akin): https://amzn.to/48v3YVf(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)BOOK A PERSONALIZED SHOUTOUT: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinREAD THE REVIEWS & MOANS: JOIN THE CHAOS LIVE: Every Saturday night from 9 PM - 3 AM EST. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Most bands talk about “sacrifice,” but Stellvris is actually living the wreckage of what it takes to bloom from the shards of a broken lineup. Nicol sits down with Chris to expose the “Illusion of Success” that modern labels demand you perform on social media. From operatic cleans to bone-shattering growls, she reveals why the “Madonna Playbook” is more relevant to metal than you think. If you want the unfiltered truth about the cost of the road, you’re in the right place.👉 JOIN THE VIP INNER CIRCLE: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com- The “Madonna Playbook”: Mixing Pop Sensibilities with Pure Rage- Operatic Cleans vs. Harsh Vocals: Nicol’s Brutal Transition- The Shatter and Bloom: The Ugly Truth Behind Band Politics- The Social Media Trap: Living Online vs. Experiencing Life- The “Illusion of Success” and the Private Jet MythBuy Stellvris’ SHATTER & BLOOM HERE: https://amzn.to/3ZWGmJH🔥 SPONSOR GEAR:Van Halen 76-92: https://amzn.to/4oaeFqrBlack Sabbath 70-75: https://amzn.to/4oUeEIgSammy Hagar Residency: https://amzn.to/48gl3qj📚 CHRIS AKIN’S VAULT:Call Me Chris: https://amzn.to/4aFj8Ni🛒 OFFICIAL MERCH:CMS Pint Glass: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/cms-pint-glass(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)Cameo (Custom Video): https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinSubstack (Audio Feed): Follow on X: https://www.x.com/cmsrocksSaturday Night Live: THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW is Live Saturdays 9pm-3am EST on Rumble/Locals. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

L.A. Guns guitarist Tracy Guns decided he was too “delicate” to handle the Texas heat, so he performed an entire concert from a backstage bathroom. Chris Akin and the CMS crew shred this “unprofessional douche move” to pieces, exposing the absolute lack of integrity in modern rock. If you want the unfiltered truth about why the music industry is dying, you need to be in the inner circle.JOIN THE VIP INSIDERS NOW: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com– L.A. Guns plays Plano, and Tracy Guns hides in a shipping container bathroom.– The “Heat Anxiety” excuse: Why medical conditions shouldn’t be a license to rip off fans.– Faster Pussycat got blocked from the shower because Tracy was “performing” in there.– The “Studio Session” vs. The Concert: Why a guitarist you can’t see isn’t a performance.– Chris Akin goes nuclear on the “Tidy Bowl Tour” and the death of rock star standards.Grab These Metal Essentials:Ratt Atlantic Years Box: https://amzn.to/4m0HxkNKiss Dressed To Kill 50th: https://amzn.to/47VhiaWVan Halen F.U.C.K. Box Set: https://amzn.to/4l600LhCMS iPhone Tough Case: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/iphone-tough-case-1451Book: ...And Other Things I Should Not Say... by Chris Akin: https://amzn.to/48v3YVf(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)GET A PERSONALIZED SHOUTOUT FROM CHRIS AKIN: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinTHE CMS SUBSTACK: WATCH LIVE EVERY SATURDAY: 9 PM - 3 AM EST at https://www.theclassicmetalshow.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Neeley is back from New Orleans and the high-octane madness of THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW is reaching a fever pitch! From technical glitches and drunken escapades to major industry-shaking announcements, this episode is a relentless assault on the senses that you won’t find anywhere else. Don’t miss out on the raw, uncensored truth—get your VIP access now!UNFILTERED VIP LINK: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com🤘 On This Episode:* Neeley returns with a “New Orleans recap” (or what he can remember of it) and tries to explain the technical nightmare that greeted his return.* Chris and Neeley dive into the aftermath of last week’s “7-hour drunken marathon” and the “imaginary line” they blew right past.* A major teaser for a “metal world-changing” announcement from Eric Braverman—get ready for the fallout!* The “Dokken Takeover” is imminent! Chris and Neeley analyze the audio, the “cringe factor,” and the upcoming chaos.💰 Support The Show:* GNR 88-92 Box Set: https://amzn.to/4o5xcEh* Led Zeppelin 69-73 Collection: https://amzn.to/4o9jccy* Motley Crue Theatre of Pain 40th: https://amzn.to/48bOVnF* CMS Pint Glass: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/cms-pint-glass* ...And Other Things I Should Not Say... by Chris Akin: https://amzn.to/48v3YVf(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)🏁 Other Stuff:* Get a Personalized Message from Chris Akin on Cameo: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakin* Subscribe to the CMSPN Substack for Exclusive Content: * Catch THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW Live Every Saturday from 9 PM - 3 AM EST! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Tracii Guns continues his streak of being the most “delicate” man in hair metal by allegedly canceling a Florida gig because it was—wait for it—too hot. We dive deep into the absolute disaster that is the L.A. Guns touring schedule and why these “rock stars” have become softer than a marshmallow in a microwave. Plus, we’re dissecting Bill Burr’s latest Netflix special to find out where the actual jokes went.GET THE UNFILTERED TRUTH AT OUR VIP LOCALS: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com* Tracii Guns vs. Humidity: Why L.A. Guns can’t handle a little Florida sun.* The “Captain” Memorial: Remembering CMS Mikey’s grandfather and his legendary bluntness.* COVID Cuckery: CMS Tim calls in from Australia to lecture us on vaccines. It goes as well as you’d think.* Bill Burr at Red Rocks: Is Bill becoming a “Statement Comedian” instead of a funny one?* Fat-Shaming & Fact-Checking: The boys weigh in on “Plus Size” models and the death of standards.(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)BLACK SABBATH 70-75 COLLECTION: https://amzn.to/4oUeEIgGNR 88-92 BOX SET: https://amzn.to/4o5xcEhDOKKEN ELEKTRA VINYL: https://amzn.to/4l4JISZCMS HAIL AND SNORE PILLOW: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/hail-and-snore-pillowLITTLE VICTORIES BY CHRIS AKIN: https://amzn.to/46UxCYgCAMEO: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinSUBSTACK: SATURDAY LIVE: Catch THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW every Saturday night from 9 PM - 3 AM EST! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Blackie Lawless has been one of the most polarizing figures in metal for decades, but what he reveals here about WASP’s long-term absence from American stages will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about the touring industry. While other bands from the 80s are phoning it in with backing tracks and diminished ranges, Blackie explains the “flamethrower” in his throat and why he refuses to follow the “flavor of the month” trends. If you want the raw truth about the evolution from shock rock to cerebral artistry, you aren’t going to find it on a corporate press release.👉 JOIN THE VIP INNER CIRCLE: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com- The Promoter Lie: Why WASP stayed away so long.- The Marvin Gaye Connection: Learning to write from truth.- “Flamethrower in my throat”: Addressing the vocal range controversy.- The VIP Museum: Why Blackie hated traditional meet-and-greets.- Censorship in 2026: Why you must think for yourself.🔥 SPONSOR GEAR:Motley Crue Theatre of Pain 40th: https://amzn.to/48bOVnFRush 74-80: https://amzn.to/3XdXdq2Dio 84-94: https://amzn.to/44pyUJz📚 CHRIS AKIN’S VAULT:Cause & Effect Metallica: https://amzn.to/4fjrLzN🛒 OFFICIAL MERCH:CMS Stickers: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/classic-metal-show-stickers(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)Cameo (Custom Video): https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinSubstack (Audio Feed): Follow on X: https://www.x.com/cmsrocksSaturday Night Live: THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW is Live Saturdays 9pm-3am EST on Rumble/Locals. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Axl Rose spent 13 years and millions of dollars to deliver an album that sounds like a mid-90s R&B reject, and we’ve got the fan receipts to prove it. From “Evil Batman” to the “Doghouse,” the CMS callers strip away the industry hype and expose this record for the lifeless, over-tweaked disaster it really is. If you want the truth that the corporate rock press is too scared to print, you’re in the right place.UNFILTERED VIP LINK: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com* We open the lines to see if anyone actually bought into the “Chinese Democracy” propaganda machine.* Evil Batman returns from a cold to deliver a track-by-track burial of Axl’s “orchestrated” garbage.* Why “Catch the Rise” is actually 80s hair metal crap that needs to be scrapped.* Cerberus drops a review so brutal it explains why Axl stays in the clothing section of Target.* The Doghouse explains how the piano—and Axl’s ego—officially killed the spirit of Guns N’ Roses.* Metallica LOAD Vinyl: https://amzn.to/4fjGnOw* DIO 84-94 Box Set: https://amzn.to/44pyUJz* Motley Crue Dr. Feelgood 35th Anniversary: https://amzn.to/3Je81AA* CMS Winter Skull Cap: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/cms-winter-skull-cap* Cause & Effect: Judas Priest by Chris Akin: https://amzn.to/4cvovB2(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)* GET A PERSONALIZED SHOUTOUT: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakin* READ THE ARTICLES: * WATCH LIVE: Every Saturday 9 PM - 3 AM EST at www.theclassicmetalshow.com. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Lou Gramm is out here crying about Kelly Hansen “mimicking” him, but here’s the cold, hard truth: nobody wants to hear a version of “Juke Box Hero” that doesn’t sound like the record. We’re breaking down the ego, the bitterness, and the absolute insanity of a guy putting expanding foam in his junk just to get an erection. It’s uncensored, it’s offensive, and it’s exactly why you need to be behind the paywall.GET THE UNFILTERED TRUTH AT OUR VIP LINK: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com– Expanding Foam Fails: A Florida woman tries to “plump up” her man with home insulation. Spoiler: it didn’t end well for his junk.– The “Sounding” Craze: Why the hell are dudes sticking objects in their urethras? We dive into the most painful “sexy” story ever.– Lou Gramm vs. Kelly Hansen: Lou is butt-hurt that the new guy sounds exactly like him. Isn’t that the point of a replacement, Lou?– Tribute Band Reality: Chris and the gang argue why a high-energy “tribute” version of Foreigner is better than a sad, slow original.– Midnight Blue Nostalgia: We spin some solo Lou Gramm and remind you why he was great, even if he’s a cranky old man now.Revenue BlockAC/DC Highway to Hell Live: https://amzn.to/4oetQjLGhost Papa Emeritus IV Funko: https://amzn.to/4fk5sJrBlack Sabbath Sabotage Box: https://amzn.to/45gHgDcCMS Pint Glass: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/cms-pint-glassCause & Effect Judas Priest by Chris Akin: https://amzn.to/4cvovB2(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)WANT A PERSONAL SHOUTOUT? Grab a Cameo from Chris Akin: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinJOIN THE NEWSLETTER: Uncensored thoughts delivered to your inbox: SATURDAY NIGHTS ARE FOR SINNERS: Catch the CMS Live every Saturday from 9 PM - 3 AM EST! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Chinese Democracy is finally coming out, and the “experts” over at Talking Metal are tripping over themselves to sound like insiders. Watch as we dissect Mark and John’s pathetic attempt to claim “insider knowledge” about who played five notes on a record that took fifteen years to make. This is a masterclass in why podcasting dorks shouldn’t pretend to be rock stars.GET THE UNFILTERED TRUTH HERE: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com- The Talking Metal dorks countdown the release of Chinese Democracy down to the second, because they have literally nothing better to do with their lives.- Mark and John brag about recording in “professional studios” like Silver Spacecraft, while we point out they’re probably just recording in their moms’ basements with a portable tape deck.- The “Big Scoop”: Talking Metal claims Frank Ferrer played drums on the title track. We ask the real question: Who actually gives a shit about Axl Rose’s revolving door of session players?- The MySpace humble-brag. Mark gets a “text message” from a “fan” while on air, proving that these self-important boobs think they are part of the GNR marketing machine.- We wrap it up by mocking their decision to end a Guns N’ Roses “special” with a shitty Judas Priest cover. Total amateur hour.GNR 88-92: https://amzn.to/4o5xcEhMotley Crue Dr. Feelgood 35th: https://amzn.to/3Je81AABlack Sabbath Sabotage Box: https://amzn.to/45gHgDcCMS Stickers: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/classic-metal-show-stickersCause & Effect Judas Priest: https://amzn.to/4cvovB2(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)CONTACT CHRIS AKIN FOR A PERSONALIZED INSULT: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinJOIN THE SUBSTACK REVOLUTION: https://cmspn.substack.comLISTEN LIVE: Saturdays 9 PM - 3 AM EST at www.theclassicmetalshow.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

The mainstream media plantation wants you fed on a diet of "safe," over-processed garbage. THE CMS NEWS EXCLUSIVE uses AI-driven combat research to bypass the gatekeepers and deliver the raw, jailbroken truth. We aren't here to play nice; we’re here to give you the data the corporate suits are too terrified to leak. Strap in, because the Iversons are dropping a tactical strike on the return of the king.00:00 – Nostalgia is for Pussies: The End of the "Safe" Era01:45 – Rob Dukes & Goliath: A Declaration of Sonic War03:12 – The Production Buzzsaw: No Suits, No Labels, No Mercy05:30 – "The Changing Me": Swedish Melodic Malice Meets Bay Area Rage07:45 – Summon of the God Unknown: An Eight-Minute Journey Through Hell🔥 COMBAT SPONSORS:Exodus' Goliath https://amzn.to/3OnIEiyVan Halen 76-92: https://amzn.to/4oaeFqrBlack Sabbath 70-75: https://amzn.to/4oUeEIgSammy Hagar Residency: https://amzn.to/48gl3qj📚 CHRIS AKIN'S VAULT:Call Me Chris: https://amzn.to/4aFj8Ni🛒 OFFICIAL MERCH:CMS All Black Mug: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/the-cms-all-black-mug(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)STANDARD EXCLUSIVE FOOTERJoin the Inner Circle: https://classicmetalshow.locals.comSubstack (Audio Feed): https://cmspn.substack.comCameo (Personal Video): https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinSaturday Hype: THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW is Live Saturdays 9pm-3am EST. Be there or your week is a waste. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Lou Gramm is crying about Kelly Hansen “mimicking” him, but here’s the reality: nobody wants to pay $150 to hear a version of “Juke Box Hero” that sounds like a dying cat. Between Lou’s bitterness and Tracii Guns performing from a literal toilet because he’s too “delicate” for the heat, the rock world has officially lost its balls. Get the raw, offensive, and totally uncensored truth that the corporate labels are too scared to tell you.JOIN THE INNER CIRCLE OR SHUT UP: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com- Lou Gramm vs. Kelly Hansen: Why “Mimicking” is actually called “Doing Your Job.”- The Expanding Foam Incident: The literal “hard” truth about Lou’s health struggles.- Tracii Guns: The Bathroom Balladeer. Why L.A. Guns has become a traveling circus of fragility.- Bill Burr’s Netflix Special: Searching for the jokes in a sea of “safe” comedy.- Your Smart Home is a Snitch: Why modern criminals are too stupid for 2026.SUPPORT THE SHOW AND BUY THIS CRAP:Van Halen 76-92 Box Set: https://amzn.to/4oaeFqrBlack Sabbath 70-75 Collection: https://amzn.to/4oUeEIgSammy Hagar Residency Gear: https://amzn.to/48gl3qjCMS All Black Mug: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/the-cms-all-black-mug...And Other Things I Should Not Say... by Chris Akin: https://amzn.to/48v3YVf(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)GET A SHOUTOUT FROM THE KING: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinREAD THE UNFILTERED TRUTH: LIVE EVERY SATURDAY: 9 PM - 3 AM EST. Be there or be a loser. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame just dropped their 2026 nominees, and it’s exactly the dumpster fire we expected. From pop divas to one-album wonders, the “Rock” part of the title has never been more irrelevant. Stop settling for corporate-sanctioned “prestige” and join the only community that actually gives a damn about real music.GET UNFILTERED ACCESS NOW: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com– The annual “Rock Hall Meltdown” begins with Eddie Trunk’s inevitable (and justified) rage.– The Black Crowes: Are two good albums enough to buy a ticket to the hall?– Jeff Buckley and the “One Album Wonder” syndrome—why longevity doesn’t matter to these idiots.– Mariah Carey & Sade: The “Music Hall of Fame” rebrand that nobody asked for.– Iron Maiden & Judas Priest: Why the greatest metal bands are treated like second-class citizens.SUPPORT THE SHOW – GRAB THE GEAR:* Dio 84-94 Box Set: https://amzn.to/44pyUJz* Metallica LOAD Vinyl: https://amzn.to/4fjGnOw* Def Leppard Pyromania 40th: https://amzn.to/46AhFaB* CMS iPhone Tough Case: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/iphone-tough-case-1451* ...And Other Things I Should Not Say... (Chris Akin): https://amzn.to/48v3YVf(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)WANT A PERSONAL GRIPING SESSION? Book Chris on Cameo: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinREAD THE UNVARNISHED TRUTH: Subscribe on Substack: LIVE AND LOUD: Join us every Saturday night from 9 PM - 3 AM EST for the legendary Classic Metal Show! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

The “Evil Batman” returns from a Ratt show in Laredo, Texas, and immediately proves why we can’t have nice things. Between dodging state troopers and screaming at innocent bystanders, this is the most chaotic “roving reporter” segment in the history of the show. If you think your life is a disaster, just listen to this guy try to outrun a shotgun-wielding cop while we cheer for his arrest.GET THE UNFILTERED TRUTH AT THE CMS VIP LOCALS: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com– Evil Batman claims he can’t get backstage because the “police people” are actually doing their jobs for once.– A Texas State Trooper realizes he’s dealing with a lunatic and starts the “eviction” process.– Chris and Neeley realize they can incite a police beating over the phone and immediately go for it.– Evil Batman explains why the “Rodney King” defense doesn’t work in a border town.– The final escape: Evil Batman flees from a teenage girl and hides behind a tree like a true superhero.Van Halen F.U.C.K. Box Set: https://amzn.to/4l600LhRatt Atlantic Years Box: https://amzn.to/4m0HxkNBlack Sabbath Sabotage Box: https://amzn.to/45gHgDcCMS Winter Skull Cap: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/cms-winter-skull-capCall Me Chris by Chris Akin: https://amzn.to/4aFj8Ni(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)GET A SHOUTOUT ON CAMEO: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinCMS SUBSTACK: https://cmspn.substack.comCATCH US LIVE: Saturdays 9 PM - 3 AM EST at www.theclassicmetalshow.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Metallica just announced a massive residency at the Las Vegas Sphere, and the ticket prices are enough to make Lars Ulrich’s accountant blush. We’re talking $2,000 for a floor spot and nearly $34,000 for a seat in the back—is this still rock and roll, or just a VIP playground for corporate dickheads? If you’re tired of being priced out of your own culture, you need to join the only community that tells it like it is.GET THE UNFILTERED TRUTH AT OUR VIP LOCALS: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com* Metallica Vegas Residency: High-tech revolution or the ultimate fan shakedown?* The $33,000 Ticket: Analyzing the secondary market madness and the death of the “Regular Joe.”* Sphere Economics: Why this venue is losing millions and why Metallica is the “bailout” act.* The Jason Green/Eric Pearce Drama: Why we’re done talking about it (mostly).* Don Henley’s Retirement Fund: Comparing Metallica’s prices to the Eagles’ Sphere residency.The CMS Gear RotationSupport the show and keep the lights on by grabbing this essential gear:* Metallica LOAD Vinyl: https://fjGnOw* (As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)* AC/DC Highway to Hell Live: https://amzn.to/4oetQjL (As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)* Ghost Papa Emeritus IV Funko: https://amzn.to/4fk5sJr (As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)* CMS Pint Glass: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/cms-pint-glass* Cause & Effect Metallica (By Chris Akin): https://amzn.to/4fjrLzNBook Chris for a roast on Cameo: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinGet the Deep Dives on Substack: Watch us LIVE every Saturday Night: 9 PM - 3 AM EST at classicmetalshow.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

This episode is from 11/22/08, and was the only scripted “bit” in the history of THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW. We’ve long since ended our feud with Talking Metal’s Mark Strigl and John Ostronomy!ORIGINAL WRITEUP: The “Talking Metal” dumbbells decided to play investigative journalist at a Union, New Jersey Best Buy, and let’s just say it went exactly as poorly as you’d expect. From harassing minimum-wage workers to getting slapped with a regional ban, these guys are the reason we can’t have nice things in the podcasting world. We get the inside scoop from a store manager who had to deal with their “Chinese Democracy” obsession firsthand.GET THE UNFILTERED TRUTH AT THE VIP LINK: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com– Why the “Talking Metal” clowns are the ultimate podcaster dumbbells.– The iTunes wipe: How being a pansy ruins your rankings.– Best Buy Stakeout? Imagine being a retail worker dealing with these dorks.– EXCLUSIVE: The Best Buy Manager calls in to confirm the ban.– Sleeping bags and Axl Rose cutouts: The peak of middle-aged desperation.Sammy Hagar Residency: https://amzn.to/48gl3qjBlack Sabbath Sabotage Box: https://amzn.to/45gHgDcGNR 88-92: https://amzn.to/4o5xcEhCMS Hail and Snore Pillow: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/hail-and-snore-pillowCall Me Chris by Chris Akin: https://amzn.to/4aFj8Ni(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)GET A SHOUTOUT FROM CHRIS: https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinREAD THE BLOG: LISTEN LIVE: Saturdays from 9 PM - 3 AM EST at www.theclassicmetalshow.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe