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Description
Formerly titled 'Let's Talk People-Pleasing! with Charlotte Bailey' - She Is Here™ is a podcast for women who feel they're 'too much' too sensitive, too emotional, too dramatic....and never quite enough.
Maybe you’ve read the self-help books, listened to the personal development podcasts, or previously had therapy. You understand your patterns — but something still hasn’t shifted. You get it… but you don’t always feel it.
That’s because insight alone isn’t always enough.
Patterns like people-pleasing, overthinking, perfectionism, masking, anxiety, and self-doubt aren’t mindset failures. They’re intelligent survival responses shaped by trauma, attachment, conditioning, relationships, and the environments we’ve had to navigate.
I’m Charlotte Bailey, an accredited trauma-informed psychotherapist, speaker, and spoken-word poet. Through psychology, neuroscience, lived experience, and poetry, She Is Here™ explores the missing piece mainstream self-help often skips: safety - in your nervous system and in your world.
This isn’t about forcing confidence or becoming someone new. It’s about reconnecting with the parts of yourself that learned to shrink, hide or adapt, remembering who you were before you were taught to be less - and learning how to feel safe enough to be seen.
Come join me on instagram and feel free to DM me with any questions or subjects you'd like me to cover : https://www.instagram.com/charlotte_bailey_therapies/
Access free resources (People-Pleasing Quiz-Based Webinar & Video Visibility Confidence Toolkit) & find out more about me via my website: https://www.charlotte-bailey.com/
59 Episodes
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In this episode, I’m breaking down what I actually mean when I say “safe” and “safe enough to be seen” because it’s not about confidence, mindset tricks, or forcing yourself to speak louder. We hear the word safety everywhere now, especially in conversations about visibility, boundaries, relationships, and nervous system work. But what most people don’t realise is that safety isn’t about staying calm, being in a 'zen' like state all the time or feeling fearless - it’s about whether your...
You can understand your anxiety and know where it comes from. And still feel anxious. If you’ve ever thought “I get it… so why does this still feel so hard?”, this episode is for you. I explore why insight alone isn’t enough to stop anxiety and why feeling anxious doesn’t always mean you’re stuck in familiar unhelpful patterns or that you’re failing. From a trauma-informed, nervous-system lens, I explain why your body can still react even when your mind knows you’re safe. We’ll look at the di...
January and New Year’s resolutions leave many women feeling like they’re failing -even when they’re trying their best. In this trauma-informed episode, we explore why January so often triggers self-criticism, shame, and the sense that you’re “not consistent enough” or “not disciplined enough” - and why this isn’t a personal failing. This isn’t a motivation or willpower problem. More often than not, it's a capacity issue. We talk about how cultural ideas around productivity and self-improvemen...
A few spoken words for Mums at Christmas. Join me over on Instagram for regular updates, posts and relatable content and feel free to DM me any subjects you'd like me to cover: https://www.instagram.com/charlotte_bailey_therapies/ Visit my website for more information, FREE resources and details on how to work with me https://www.charlotte-bailey.com/
This opening episode of She Is Here™, marks the beginning of a new chapter - not a reinvention from Let's talk People-Pleasing , but a continuation of a remembering. People-pleasing was never your personality. It was a nervous-system response. A clever adaptation to environments where it felt safer to be less — less loud, less emotional, less honest, less visible. This new series introduces depth and poetry so you can feel what lives beneath people-pleasing: safety, identity, self-belonging, ...
Have you ever told yourself you’re fine, only to find your body proving otherwise? In this short, honest episode, I reflect on how ignoring my own body’s signals turned a simple cough into a chest infection… and what it reminded me about pausing, listening, and letting the body lead - something a lot of us can struggle to do! I talk about my NHS and people-pleasing days when having time off made me feel guilty and anxious and like I was a failure. This episode invites you to consider ho...
I wanted to sit down and share honestly where my head and heart are at as I reflect on where this podcast and my message are heading. I've noticed that when I started the podcast I was - sometimes unconsciously -following marketing type “rules” of what I should and shouldn’t cover, how much I should or shouldn't post etc. but I’ve realised those rules don’t always honour the depth of my work - or who I truly am. In this episode I acknowledge my recent reflections and confirm this isn't ...
Last episode focused on identifying the real reason you feel guilty when you say no or put yourself first - in this episode we are exploring those internalised rules like “if I rest then i’m lazy,” or “if I say no then I’m selfish.” I walk you through some reflective prompts and a simple practice to help you start rewriting those rules into something kinder and more realistic — so you can honour your needs without feeling like a bad person. This isn’t about swinging from people-pleasing...
If you’re a people-pleaser then chances are that on the rare occasion you do say “no” to someone, cancel plans, or set a boundary — you find yourself feeling guilty. In this episode I talk about how guilt doesn’t always mean you’ve done something wrong. Often, it shows up because you’ve broken an internalised rule you’ve been carrying for years — like “I must keep everyone happy” or “Putting myself first is selfish.” This episode includes: Why guilt feels so intense when you say no or priorit...
For years, I told myself the reason I couldn’t speak up, share my thoughts, or truly let myself be seen was because I wasn’t confident enough. Maybe you’ve told yourself the same thing — that you just need to “push through,” “fake it till you make it,” or somehow be braver. But recently, something happened that made me realise the problem isn’t about confidence at all. In this episode, I share a deeply personal story about: The two inner voices we all carry — the one that tells us to stay qui...
Do you often put everyone else’s needs before your own - and feel bad if you don’t? In this episode, I’m joined by Kay from Place to Talk Therapy Practice to explore the deep connection between shame and people-pleasing. We talk about how shame begins, how it shows up in everyday life, and why it can feel so hard to break free from old patterns. Kay shares her personal experience of living with shame, from body image struggles to those early messages we pick up about who we need to be in orde...
I share what it’s really like to walk the well-worn path of people-pleasing - the one that promises peace, acceptance, and connection, but actually leaves you feeling lost and disconnected from yourself. I talk about the hidden costs of always saying yes, the silent panic when you even think about saying no, and why it can feel like you don’t even know what you want anymore. Most importantly, I explain why people-pleasing isn’t a fixed personality trait - it’s a nervous system survival respon...
Past me would NEVER have done this. This weekend I went to Creamfields on my own, volunteered with Blink Mental Health, gave therapy sessions in the middle of the thumping bass - and then did something that reminded me how liberating it is when you break free from people-pleasing. When I was in my anxious, overthinking people-pleasing prime, I’d never have walked into a festival alone. I’d never have volunteered alongside a team I’d never met, doing something as unfamiliar as therapy in a be...
Have you noticed that so much content online sounds the same? Lately, I’ve found myself scrolling and thinking, “this looks like AI wrote it.” And then the worry hits: what if people think the same about my content ? In this episode, I’m talking honestly about: Why so much content feels repetitive or AI-generatedThe pressure to follow “scroll-friendly” formulas My own fear that my writing might not be seen as authenticWhy quirks, pauses, and imperfections are what make your voice truly s...
A lot of people hadn’t realised I’m trained in Psychosexual Therapy and Sex and Porn ‘Addiction’ Counselling, and when I recently shared a post talking about my credentials, I was asked to do an episode on the subject of people-pleasing and sex. And I’m really glad they asked, because it’s a topic that doesn’t get spoken about enough — and on reflection, I’m guilty of that too! Yet if you’re a people-pleaser and often say yes when you want to say no, struggle to express how you really feel or...
In this episode I reflect on 8 years ago, when I started my business, my private practice. At that time I had a Facebook Page... and no other way to market myself. I rarely shared the Facebook Page because - I told myself I was being 'professional' - I didn't want to 'push' my services on to people, because that would be unethical. Even as a self-aware therapist with 20+ years studying psychology it took me a while to notice that I was actually avoiding putting myself out there - it was...
What is people-pleasing? and why do so many of us not realise we’re doing it? In this episode I talk about what people-pleasing really looks like - from the outside and the inside. Because I never used to call it people-pleasing either. I just thought I was being “nice,” “easy,” “helpful.” But behind that laid-back, dependable exterior? I was anxious, overthinking, and quietly abandoning myself every single day. I cover: Why people-pleasing isn’t the same as being kindThe subtle, ...
In this episode, I’m covering a question I've been asked on Instagram a few times now: “How do I know if my child is a people-pleaser and what can I do to help?” To do this episode justice, I’ve invited the brilliant Becky—an Anxiety Coach for Teenagers and fellow recovering people-pleaser—to join me in exploring this important topic. Becky talks about the work she does, what people-pleasing can look like in teens, and the early warning signs for you to look out for. Becky shares practi...
Have you ever read something online that didn't sit right with you? Maybe you noticed your heart race and the real pull to say something - but after re-reading your response so many times, worrying it doesn't sound 'right' ... it just felt easier not to post it, to stay silent. Or maybe it didn't even cross your mind to respond - it didn't feel like speaking up was an option you were allowed to choose. In this episode, I share a real-life moment where I didn't agree with som...
There are so many layers to people-pleasing and when you become a Mum it can bring up so much for you! In this episode I've got Erin joining me - a somatic therapist from Baltimore who also works with people-pleasers, whilst we've followed each other on Instagram for a while, this is the first time we have 'met' and chatted. This honest conversation covers different ways people-pleasing shows up in postpartum - drawing from our lived experience and professional experience. We chat about...
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