Empowered Through Compassion

Season 2, Episode 32, Release Date: 5-15-2024 Anti-Racist Psychotherapy with David Archer   Today I had the pleasure of having a compassionate conversation with David Archer, an Anti-racist clinical Social Worker. He is a couples and family therapist, and an advocate for racially oppressed and LGBTQ+ community.   David has written many books, including his newest book, "Transforming Complex Trauma: Reflections on Anti-Racist Psychotherapy."    David has a revolutionary vision, which transforms society in a very positive and healing way. As we heal ourselves, we simultaneous increase the compassion that we are able to give to others, according to David.   David shared how we can view time as circular and malleable. We journey with clients, and help shed light on the past, and work to understand what they would like to manifest for their future.   EMDR is bringing back indigenous knowledge of a mind-body-spirit connection. Also, interconnectedness is a natural way that humans have lived for most of our existence.    We spoke about how capitalism is an inherently insecure system, as it rests of the idea that there is never enough. It is one of the three evils according to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The other two are racism and extreme militarism. When we are committing acts of violance, there is a level of dissociation that is taking place. There are elements within society that encourgae us to shut down and not pay attention. When we start paying attention, compassion grows.   Being alive, and breathing is an expression of love!   Whenever we create an exile, there is some form of dissociation taking place. We are cut off from some of our feelings. When we feel safe, we can tap into the infinite creativity within ourselves. Mental health is helping people have options for who they choose to be.   For David, we need to resist thinking in binaries. He shared how we have to break the ideas of labels, such as mental health. Instead, we can understand how mental health is a fluctuation of states.   I questioned how David stays so positive, and he said, "I am never alone. I always have my ancestors with me."   Experiences can always be pathways to connect to divinity, even difficult experiences. As trauma therapists, we go on this journey with clients, to help them dive into the abyss of trauma.   David shared, "I bring in music, rhythm, religion, because I want to create a therapy that does not look or feel like therapy." Instead of there being a hierarchy of the therapist over the client, the client chooses the method of healing. With this power, the client has a new experience of having choice, and a juxtaposition is created.   We spoke about RAP-- Rhythm and Processing. This a beautiful process that David has written about in his new book, "Tranforming Complex Trauma."     

Season 2, Episode 30, Release Date: 5-4-2024 IFIO with guest Toni Herbine-Blank   Today I have the pleasure of sharing my conversation with Toni Herbine-Blank, MS. RN, C-SP. She is a Clinical Specialist, Psychotherapist, and Senior Trainer for the Center for Self-Leadership. Toni began training students in Internal Family Systems Therapy in 2004 and since then has been instumental in designing programs and writing curricula for Levels 1 and 2 IFS training programs.   Toni has been in private practice since 1996 specializing in the treatment of couples and individuals. In 2009, after designing a training for IFS therapists to apply the model to couples therapy, Toni offered the first Intimacy from the Inside Out (c) Training Program in Boston, MA. Since then the program has been received with great enthusiasm across the United States.   Whereas IFS focused on the internal aspects of an individual, IFIO focuses on the interdependance our internal system and external relationships. We turn inward (known as a "YOU-turn") to help us in our connections ("RE turn" to relationship).    Toni shared how the heart of her model is "Courageous Communication." When we feel healed, we open up to conversations. In this way we can stay connected with our minds and hearts, and are able to tune into how we might be impacting other people in the conversations.   Within intimate relationships, there is mutuality, as well as exploration. Although skills and tools could be extremely helpful, we need to have a critical mass of self energy in order to access these skills. Self-energy helps us listen and speak from our hearts.   We spoke about how Shame is a verb. When we have difficulty connecting and commnuicating with one another, we can explore what is coming up within us, and there is always some path that connects us back to shame, shamfulness or shaming behaviors. Shame is a "rolling" energy, where we sometimes replicate within our systems what is done to us. Additionally, what we do to ourselves, we do to others.   In IFIO we are "helping people free themselves from the myth of Unloveability."   Through IFIO we earn the trust of our internal system, and in this way recognize who we can extend this trust to in our external world. As these people are welcomed into our internal universe, we co-constuct authentic and meaningful connection. 

Season 2, Episode 27, Release Date: 4-06-2024 Finding Our Gifts Through Divine Love: Brian Jaudon   On this episode I had the pleasure of speaking with Brian Jaudon, a master coach, mentor, trainer and teacher of coaches. Brian has co-designed and taught two global courses on incorporating IFS into coaching. He is also Founder of Pisgah Institute. You can find out more about Brian and his offerings at:  www.pisgahcoaching.com.   Brian shares how he works with coaches, so these coaches can successfully help others bring their unique gifts into the world. Brian feels that it is important to help people understand why they are alive and here right now.    For Brian, he believes that we are all here to be of service to others. This resonates with me, I believe that having compassion is all about giving it away!   Brian's three steps of coaching are helping people: (1) Answering the question, "What do I want to create in my life and work?" (2) Discover how they can be of service to others. (3) Understand their "Divine Contract" of why they are on Earth, and to live out this contract.   Brian shared a very pivotal experience for him was when cancer was in his body. Brian explained how the second time he got cancer, he was able to befriend his cancer. He applied Richard Schwartz views that there are no bad parts to the cancer, and saw the cancer as something that had an important message for him.    Brian shared some of his experience with Bert Hllinger's Family Constellation work. This helped Brian externalize his experience with cancer, and represent three crucial elements: (a) the cancer (b) his "Self" energy and (c) Divine Love. Brian said, "Divine love became more than a concept, I developed a relationship with it."   Brain was even able to turn to tha cancer and say, "Thank you for bringing Divine Love into my life." Brian turned to his cancer and gave it an invitation to leave his body. Utimately, Brian left the decision up to the cancer. In this way, Brian internalized the Divine Love, and was able to show love to his cancer!   Through this process, Brian continued to evolve his vision of coaching. His vision expanded to include ways to manifest and embody this Divine Love, to inspire others to do the same.   When working with other people's visions, Brian shared how he brings in Internal Family Systems. He said, "Once the right vision has presented itself, we map out all of a persons internal parts." Brian shared how as coaches we can help people discover what the internal system is organized around, and to work to align this with a vision. If there are parts that are not aligned with the vision, these parts are brought into the light, so they could be seen and better understood.    Brian has also been impacted by the work of Judith Johnson who has said, "Love brings anything unlike itself to the surface to be healed." Find out more about Judith and her work here: www.psychoneuroenergetics.net/judith    Brian feels that as a coach, as well as trainer for coaches, he wants to help teach people how to recognize the gifts that they have been born with. He teaches how our internal system can be unburdened and deeply understood. In this way our gifts and innate abilities can be materialized and shared with others. Thank you Brian for such a beautiful conversation, it was such a gift talking with you!   

Season 2, Episode 24, Release Date: 3-29-2024 Compassion Through The Media   Welcome to this episode, where I was able to have a "Compassionate Conversation" with a childhood friend of mine: Eli Holzman. Eli is the CEO of The Intellectual Property Corporation, which he founded in 2016. Eli is President of Sony Pictures Television, Nonfiction. I wanted to speak with Eli about therapy, and how it is represented in the media, because Eli knows media! He is a writer and executive producer who has won numerous Primetime Emmy Awards, Critic Choice Real TV Awards, and also MTV and TV Awards.  He has over 75 shows that he has been the Executive Produce on, which include Undercover Boss, Project Runway, Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath, Free Meek, American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance.   We spoke about Project Runway, and how Eli filmed this at Parsons: The New School for Deign, and positive power that the show had to influence people. Eli said, "On the show something special happened. Contestants started helping each other, they weren't cut throat. They were kind."   Eli shared that as he was building his first company he was creating Undercover Boss. "This helped me define my values." Eli shared how some of his employers led by fear, but he wanted to find another ways to lead! He recognized on Undercover Boss that "humans crave esteem as much as water and air. Just seeing someone receive this can touch us."   Eli spoke about the current crisis in television. "Our tastes have become so broad, and there are so many options out there now."    I wanted to know, what would a counseling reality show look like? We spoke about "Couple's Counseling" as one option. Eli spoke about some of the challenges of a counseling reality show. (a) people like stories were there are big changes, and drama. Counseling could be slow and incremental. (b) the topics that are covered could be very specific to the people involved. (c) TV and media are going to represent a small percetage of the population that have the personality and skills to capture the interest of an audience.   Eli said he feels it could be very helpful to explore how we can monitor our bodies, and how this information can lead us to making better decisions. He also feels that it could be interesting and important to understand more about inter-generational legacies and how these are passed down and impact us.   Eli spke about how our mental health is manipulated on a regular basis, perhap more than any other time in history. This is done by the computers that we carry around in our pockets (our smart phones). This technology is engineered to capture our attention, and is very deliberate. We are in a time in history where these devices in our pocket also hold all of the solutions to our problems-- all the answers to our mental and emotional health are within our reach, if we know how to search for them. 

Season 2, Episode 23,    Release Date: 3-19-2024 Empathy Through Connection Frank Rogers Jr., PhD, is professor of Spiritual Formation and Narrative Pedagogy. He is a spiritual director, speaker, retreat leader and author. His books include, “Practicing Compassion,” and “Compassion in Practice: The Way of Jesus,” as well the fiction work, “The God of Shattered Glass.” He is the cofounder of the Center for Engaged Compassion. Find out more about Frank Rogers Jr. here: www.centerforengagedcompassion.com/rogers.html    Frank wrote and dedicates his latest book, “Cradled in the Arms of Compassion” to his sister who took her life. He honors her spirit and also answers a question that she had for him before she passed, “How did you find healing?”   “A kindness doesn’t take the pain away, but it helps you get through it,” shared by Sister Veronique at Our Lady of the Redwoods. Frank said, “Kindness keeps the spirit alive, as we are going through suffering… that speaks to my heart.” Frank shares how compassionate Self-Restoration two fundamental components: (1) Everything happens inside of you for a reason, and we can listen to this wisdom (2) We have a self-essence, and we can always trust this no matter what we face Frank shares how he sees self energy as a spiritual energy. He said, "This is a cosmic energy to this as well, and we can plug into this energy." We spoke about Bob Falconer’s book, “The Others Within Us.” When speak about the common IFS term "burdens" Frank shared that another term used for this in religion is “demons.” He spoke about how demons can affect us on an individual level (our personal demons) a community level, and even on cosmic levels. Demons can always be met with compassion, and helped to return to the part of the universe where they belong!  “IFS is the belief in the inner goodness of all things when met with love and compassion.” I also asked, “How do we spread this urgent message that there can be more healing and compassion in the world?” Frank’s beautiful answer is that we, “follow the self-energy to where it takes us. We all can find our unique gifts, and use these to spread this positive energy within our sphere of influence.”  Frank was interviewed on "Deconstructing the Myth Podcast: Episode 43." At the end of this episode, Frank Rogers Jr. explains the name of my Podcast better than I ever could! He completed understood my intension for naming this podcast, "Empowered Through Compassion." Thank you, Frank for such a lovely conversation and connection!  

Season 2, Episode 22,    Release Date: 3-19-2024 Empathy Through Connection   Stephen Andrew is CEO (Chief Energizing Officer) of Health Education & Training Institute (HETI) (https://www.hetimaine.org/stephen-andrew) He is the co-founder and President of Agape, Inc. (https://www.agapemaine.org) which supports the Men’s Resource Center of Southern Maine whose mission is to support boys, men and fathers and oppose violence and dignity for people using opiates.   Upcoming Events: April 9th and April 10th 2024… There is the 4th Annual Recovery, Inclusion, Community, Harm Reduction (RICH) Conference  (https://www.agapemaine.org/dignity)    Notes From Episode I mentioned his interview on Heart Centered Therapist Podcast    Here are the steps of Empathy according to Stephen: (1) Really see the other person (2) Listen to the content (3) Take a breath and drop into your heart (4)  Offer something: What do you imagine this person is feeling? Thinking? (5)  Watch how it lands   I believe for Stephen, “Curiosity” is similar to “Detective work” and he cautions us against this saying,  “Instead of being curious of the other person, we should be curious about our heart, and the felt sense we have of the other person.”    Stephen shared that concepts of “Self-Empathy” and “Self-Compassion” are problematic for him, because these should not lead to isolating ourselves.   “The key to self-compassion is giving it away.”   “This is about duality; we need to show up for others and ourselves.”   “We don’t want to confuse this with being in our head, and having to take care of others. We never want the other person to feel like a victim. This might lead to an unbalance of power in the relationship, and the person being "cared for" might start feeling controlled.    Stephen shares his term “Boundaries with kindness” where we simultaneously focus on our needs and other people's needs. In this way, we do not fall into a “Caretaker” role, and we maintain our own integrity. We can hold the thought, “I am here for you,” while at the same time, not slipping into a more compulsive caretaking role.     Stephen's Three Skills That Everyone Needs: (1)  Empathy, Compassion, Radical Acceptance (2)  Boundaries with Kindness (3) The Heart-Felt Apology—when you don’t do the first two correctly   Near the end of the interview, when Stephen and I are speaking about men's groups and the recent mass shooting in Maine, we were referring to a mass killing that occurred in Lewiston, MA at the end of October, 2023 (this happened about a week before we recorded our own interview).    Our love goes out to all of those people and families affected by this tragic event!

This week I had the priviledge of speaking with Nancy Simons, who is a trainer at Syzygy Institute (which weaves together EMDR and IFS training). She speaks about some of the strengths of IFS Informed EMDR training (IIE). She also shares some of her wonderful creations in the field, including a very special protocal that she has named, "The Self-Compassion Container." Enjoy this episode, and our special converesation.

This week I had the pleasure of speaking with Daphne Fatter. She is a leader in the field of interweaving IFS and EMDR. She is a teacher and writer who has a lot of first hand experience with these models. I learned so much about the integration of the models from her, and I am excited to share our compassionate conversation with you. I hope you can feel some of our excitement with these models. I hope that this also inspires you to want to learn more aobut these two models and how they could help with trauma healing. Enjoy this episode!

Today I was fortunate to speak with Annabel McGoldrick. She is a compassionate and amazing soul, who started "Peace Journalism" with her husband, and then went on to become an EMDR therapist, consultant and founder to EMDR Insght: New Horizons in EMDR Therapy and Training. She teaches classes that weave EMDR and IFS together, and has a lot of wonderful insights to share with us!  

Gary Whited has studied philosophy, taught philosophy, and is now a trained IFS therapist. He has published books with his poems, and has done a number of translations of the great poet and philosopher Parmenides. It was so wonderful to be introduced to this ancient world through Gary. It was also a treat to have him read some of his original poetry! It was so interesting to look at some IFS concepts through a poetic lense. I hope you ejoy this episode as much as I did!

Welcome to this beautiful conversation with one of the masters of IFS-- Cece Sykes. She shows us how IFS can be helpful for people struggling with addictions. In fact, she goes a step further, and we speak about how addictions are all around us, sometimes we don't even recognize how many things we are all addicted to in our culture! Some addictions are even encouraged (think about the workaholics or the greedy politicians as examples). 

In this episode I speak with author and CFO Justin B Long about his book, "The Righteous Rage of a 10-Year-Old Boy: A Journey of Self-Discovery." This is a beautiful book about a man who has overcome a traumatic childhood, with inner resilence, a lot of intention, and the help of his therapist (trained in EMDR). He recounts in detail his experience with EMDR, and how it helped transform his perception of himself and the world. Through a lot of courage and inner stamina Justin is able to reflect on the magic of EMDR with a very personal and open account of his experience. 

In this episode, Andrew Dobo joins me to speak about EMDR, the Hero's journey and Jung. It was such an honor to have a conversation with Andrew who is a well respected EMDR trainer and an accomplished author.  His books include, "The Hero's Journey: Integrating Jungian Psychology and EMDR Therapy" and, "Unburdening Souls at the Speed of Thought: Psychology, Christianity, and the Transforming Power of EMDR." Check out Andrew Dobo's Youtube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@drandrewdobo He is the founder of EMDR Trainers. Find out more about this organization here: https://emdreducators.com  He has so much wisdom to share, and his passion for EMDR really comes through in this conversation!  

It was such an honor to speak with Sandra Paulsen, and to learn from her wisdom. In the podcast, Sandra shared how she went to see a traditional healer, known as a Songoma. This healer turned to Sandra and said, "Why come see me? You are Songoma too!" We dive into EMDR, and Sandra even shares some of her thoughts on IFS therapy. Sandra shared how she definitely uses parts work, but sees this through the lens of Ego States. We speak about some of Sandra's amazing books, which include: "When There Are No Words: Repairing Early Trauma and Neglect From the Attachment Period With EMDR Therapy" "Looking Through The Eyes of Trauma and Dissociation: An Illustrated Guide for EMDR Therapists and Clients" "The Beauty and Burden of Autism: Illustrated Guide and Workbook in Color" "Neurobiology and Treatment of Traumatic Dissociation: Towards an Embodied Self" "Indigenous Trauma and Dissociation: Healers, Psychotherapies and the Drum" Of course, we also speak about the incredible cartoons and art of Sandra that are throughout her informative and beautiful books! You can find out more about Sandra Paulsen on her website at: www.paulsenpsychology.com  Check out Sandra's Etsy's shop at: www.etsy.com/shop/SandraPaulsenPhDArt         

On this episode we are speaking with Thomas Zimmerman, Ms.Ed., LPCC, is a mental health therapist who practices in the Cleveland, Ohio, area. He is an EMDR therapist, consultant and trainer. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapist, consultant, and trainer. He is a writer, podcaster as well. Check out his new book, "EMDR with Complex Trauma" on Amazon. Check out his Podcast here: www.emdrpodcast.com   Here is his website: www.emdrtom.com  Here is his facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/EMDRResources We also speak about Thomas' brilliant 4 blink method of Flash. This is based on an intervention created by Philip Manfield, and you can find out more about Philip on his website:  www.philipmanfield.com   

Hello and welcome to this beautiful episode. I had the honor of speaking with Susan West Kurz today, and I am really excited about sharing some of the work that she has been involved with. It is called "Biography" and we dive into speaking about it on todays episode.  If you would like to find out more about Susan and her work, please check out the following websites: www.biographyandsocialart.com www.biographysocialart.org   Enjoy the episode :)

On this episode, I am speaking with Hailee Wilson. She helped me design my website, and brand, and I wanted to share the great work that she does. How many of us in the field need someone in our corner who is tech savy, and able to walk us through creating our web presence?    You can find out more information on Hailee and her company at: www.bocoadvertising.com   And in true fashion of collaboration, she shares about her friend Allison Gianattasio, and her company which is found here: www.scrollmedia.co Although at first glance Allison might seem like Hailee's competition, the both have a lot of respect for one another, and collaborate to help build each other up. They both benefit from this!    I hope you enjoy our conversation, and if you ever do need someone to help with a website, or expanding your vision, you know someone who would be happy to help you :)

This is part one. In a couple of days, I will edit and publish part two of this wonderful conversation. I feel so lucky to have spoken with Ann, and I am thrilled to share this podcast episode with you! I hope you enjoy this, and I promise, to be continued soon...

It was such a pleasure and honor to speak with Janina Fisher. I hope you enjoy this podcast! She is one of the masters of EMDR (she trained with Francine Shapiro) and she also had many conversations with Richard Schwartz.  If you would like to find out more about Janina Fisher, her Website is:  www.Janinafisher.com You can also find Janina Fisher's trainings at: www.therapywisdom.com I hope you enjoy this wonderful episode and conversation with Janina!

Season 1, Episode 38, Release Date: 7-15-2024 Exploring Dissociation with Joanne Twombly Part 1   It was such an honor to have Joanne Twombly on the podcast! We speak about dissociation, and also about the integration of IFS and EMDR. Joanne wrote the first article with RIchard Schwartz that connected these two models.  She also has written "Trauma and Dissociation Informed Internal Family Systems: How to Successfully Treat Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders." This book was transformative for my work. In a clear and interested way, Joanne was able to share necessary information, so that we as therapist are able to better understand how to recognize and help people struggling with dissociation.   There were so many questions to ask, and Joanne was so gracious with her time, that I felt we could divide this conversation into two parts. In a day or two, I will publish the next section, so you can hear part two of our conversation. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I enjoyed having it :)