Claim OwnershipThe Authenticity Coach
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© Wendy C. Schult
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Helping high achievers explore, vet and clarify their own definition of success, figure out what mindsets and habits are getting in the way and create practical, tactical plans to make their dreams a reality.
You have “shown well.” Exceptionally well. Now you also want to be well.
For a long time, you have done what you “should.” Now, will you do what you dare?
You have “shown well.” Exceptionally well. Now you also want to be well.
For a long time, you have done what you “should.” Now, will you do what you dare?
79 Episodes
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If you want to receive the increase in pay, the promotion or the headcount for hiring that you deserve, you need to stop the narrative & start to present the numbers. Repeated complaints about working long hours or being "crazy busy" seldom bring the increased compensation, new title or needed staff we are seeking. In fact, complaining may hurt our credibility. Whining, however valid, can sound like static to those in senior management. If you want to get what you merit, you need to stop lamenting & begin to logically show why what you seek is warranted.Learn why shifting from subjective talk of "my experience" to straight-forward showing of metrics can be the magic bullet to having requests fulfilled. Showcasing numbers, percentages, data & dollars may have miraculous results -- after your many imploring stories have long fallen on deaf ears. Gain tips for how to clarify your ask. Learn how to gather convincing evidence. Understand how to tie your data to your request & then to present it in the language that your business leaders can hear -- & to which they will respond with the compensation, title & headcount you deserve.
How zealously do you represent yourself? Do you advocate for yourself with the same vigor as you would for your client, employer or someone you love? Or do you permit unwanted & unreasonable self-talk to interfere with your pursuit of your dreams & desires?Learn how to bring to your own cause the same compelling confidence, courage & sound reason that you tap so effectively to advise & advocate for those you represent. Start "putting on trial" the thoughts & beliefs that no longer serve you. Become aware when you are ruminating upon "inadmissible evidence" & make it your practice to look for evidence that supports what you want. Take command of the hurtful & haunting voice in your head -- & claim the rewards that come from developing a strong practice of advocating for yourself.
Are you miserable because you missed your chance? Do you beat yourself up over what you screwed up, failed to seize or did not even see? Are you bitter because those who got there before you received a boon & participate in benefits you can't have? If so, it's time to end the myth of the missed opportunity. That chance may, indeed, have passed you by. But new chances present themselves every day.Learn to be on the lookout for opportunities, rather than passively waiting for opportunities to come. Identify why the opportunity that eluded you holds so much meaning -- & what about it is so desirable. Recognize that no opportunity is perfect & that your lost opportunity would have had its own drawbacks & disadvantages. Appreciate the practice of letting go of what does not serve you in order to make room for better opportunities. Learn to support serendipity by making the most of unexpected encounters & noticing the valuable essence of unconventional forms.
Is your profession right for you? Should you switch careers? There are 8 questions you can ask yourself to help you to assess whether or not you are on the right track.1. How meaningful is the work? 2. Does the profession encourage you to become a better version of yourself?3. Are your best talents & greatest skills being utilized?4. Does this career pay you what you are worth?5. Do you want the lifestyle of those who have risen on the track you are on? 6. How aligned is the profession with your needs as an introvert or extrovert?7. Is the profession in sync with your natural preference to participate in groups, engage one-on-one or work alone?8. Is the career sufficiently dynamic & challenging?Discuss these questions with someone you trust. Do not come to regret that you did not stick it out -- or to regret that you wasted your life doing what was not right for you. Be honest with yourself & gain the clarity you need to be able to decide whether or not you are on a path that is right for you.
Anger is your ally. Anger, envy, worry, sadness, hurt & many other emotions & feelings are your loyal friends. They indicate when something is not right -- or is not right for you. And they invite you to take action. However unpleasant or unwanted, your feelings can be the richest & most powerful advisers that you could hope to have come to your aid. Emotions are energy -- & you can choose where you want that fuel to propel you. Learn how to be more attuned to your feelings & to read feelings as maps that lead you to focus on your unmet needs. Recognize the invitation that each emotion presents, develop the skill of deciding which signs are right to follow & start to take the smart yet meaningful actions that will shift the trajectory of your life.
There is much truth to the proverb "You get what you give." But what can you do when you are giving -- & you are not getting in return? This is the time to acknowledge the corollary to the "You get what you give" adage: You can give what you get. You have the right to give to someone only as much as you are receiving. If over-giving is causing you to feel disappointment, longing, resentment & pain, this episode is for you. Healthy giving is about reciprocity & mutual willingness, not tit-for-tat score keeping. Forego the fantasy of the future & release yourself from the nightmare of today.Learn how to access where & how you are giving too much. Explore practical ways to adjust your giving. Learn how to communicate & carry out your new limits in a direct & meaningful manner.
You want to be fairly compensated & appreciated for your work, but pay & praise are not enough. You also need to have the title you deserve. Whether you are accepting a job at a new company, being promoted or have gradually taken on more & more responsibilities in your current position, it is important to negotiate for the job title & pay grade level that reflect the tasks & level of responsibility of your role.Having a title that is on par with your position provides you with clear authority, supports your compensation & enables your mobility. Learn why each of these benefits is valuable & how to protect yourself from the risks of having a job title or grade level that does not recognize the extent of your authority or the magnitude or your contributions.
Do you struggle to enjoy what you are doing? Is it difficult to feel satisfied with what you already have? Are you driven by the constant hope of things being better in the future -- or by the relentless fear of either doing something wrong or of something going wrong?If so, the fierce trio of the familiar, fantasy & fear may be ruling your life -- from your major life decisions to your daily actions. Are you being terrorized by the three Fs? If you are like many high achievers, it is likely that you are subject to their dictates & that you are not aware of the extent to which they control what you think, feel & do.Identify how it feels & looks to be oppressed by the familiar, fantasy & fear. Learn why it is so painful & limiting. And gain skills to break free of their tyranny. Gain practical approaches to be able to choose what serves you well. Understand how the three Fs pull you away from today & reality, trap you in the past & the future & tie you to distracting fantasies & unrealistic nightmares. Learn to think, live, take action & experience enjoyment in the real-life present moment -- a place & time where the tyranny of the familiar, fantasy & fear have little power to reign.
Do you feel pigeonholed in a role? Are you stuck with a professional reputation that limits you? Do you wish that you could do the type of work that you would love to do? But do you believe that you will never get the chance because you are already known so well for doing something -- or being someone -- that is so different from the sort of person who gets those opportunities?If this is where you are, do not despair. It just means that it is time for you to make over your brand! A strong & established professional reputation is a highly valuable asset. When you are already well known & well respected, you have transferrable credibility. Learn the three elements you need to deliberately manage to successfully launch your Professional Brand 2.0. Understand the art of tying the praise you are already receiving to the new work you are capable of doing. Gain practical tips for posting on LinkedIn, revising your LinkedIn profile, creating your bio & updating your resume. Learn how to inspire support by speaking in terms of what you are doing.Intentional re-branding is your first step to stretching beyond the pigeonhole of how others currently perceive you & soaring towards the work you truly want to do.
Do you know what you want to do, but you can't seem to actually do it? Does something always get in the way? Or do you need to do more research, learning & preparation before you will be ready to start taking action? If so, this episode is for you.Having the time & being ready are far more within your control than you may think. Learn how to be "time smart." Structure your day to align your capacity with your motivation, protecting your "best" hours for complex issues & creative initiatives. Understand how discipline is about prioritizing your values & goals, not about building superhuman willpower. Explore questions to ask yourself to determine whether you are procrastinating or you truly need further preparation in order to be ready to act. Learn to be precise in identifying what it is that you need to learn, do or have before you can begin to take action. Give up the strict chronological view of actions having to follow plans in a time-bound sequence. Come to see planning & acting as dynamic forces that move in tandem. Make it your practice to weave together -- doing, learning, revising & more doing -- for an on-going expansive way of life.
Are you over-worked & over-extended? Does it feel as if everything at work falls onto you, because your team is not capable? Have you been told that you need to loosen the grip & delegate more? But do you shudder at the thought of giving up control?If so, learn what you need to do to reclaim your time, energy & peace of mind. Don't blindly entrust others with your work & hard-earned reputation. Delegation without trust is dangerous. It's a recipe for disaster. Understand how to create a process that enables you to develop a team -- one that you can trust & to whom you can delegate with confidence.Learn about the many facets of trust, extending beyond honesty to also include reliability, ability & good judgment. Identify the skill sets & qualities you need in team members. See why you may need both a clone (a mini-me who thinks & acts like you) & a complement (an associate whose different strengths supplement your superpowers). Become astute at developing talent by giving regular feedback & feedforward. Appreciate how communicating both praise & constructive criticism is the key to your freedom. Learn the value of making feedback & mentoring the cornerstones of your management style.
Are you a high achiever who is a problem-solver & quick to give advice? At times does your wise counsel fall on deaf ears or cause others to turn away? If so, this episode can help you develop the art of advice-giving. Learn to identify your intention in each conversation or interaction. Is your aim to win, fix, understand or love? Is this an opportunity to help via giving advice to solve a problem? Or would the best support come by asking nonjudgmental, probing questions & listening to truly understand? Or might this be a situation that warrants neither giving commands nor having curiosity, but rather calls for quiet caring -- not the doing for, but the being with?Hear simple questions that you can ask to be able to determine whether the time is right to give advice. Learn practical approaches for how you can offer solutions in ways that empower others to tap into their own wisdom.Start to feel the impact & satisfaction of practicing the art of advice-giving. Enjoy the rewards of helping others in a dignified way -- without over-extending yourself or over-stepping your bounds.
Are you a relationship builder or a relationship leverager? If you want to achieve next-level success, you need to be both. You have a treasure chest of valuable professional relationships. Now it is time to convert some of those gems into active currency.Understand the difference between building relationships & leveraging them. Learn to identify those individuals who are both able to help & willing to help. Become the type of person who others can leverage. Be the colleague who asks, "How can I help?"Find the perspective that will allow you to examine & overcome the old mindsets that are getting in the way of your being the type of person who is at ease with leveraging relationships. Learn practical steps that you can start taking now. Become comfortable expanding your focus beyond great relationship building & develop a career-long practice of leveraging your relationships to be even more valuable.
Success requires a wishbone, a backbone & a funny bone. To achieve what will truly satisfy us, we need to have a clear intention as to what we are seeking, give that desire our strong attention & then let go of the tension as to how it comes to us.Identify which " bone" you are missing & learn how to build its capacity. Whether you want a career that you are passionate about, relationships that are caring & fulfilling or the enjoyment of your weekends, this episode is for you.
Do you have a job, a career or a life? If you want to feel satisfied, it is imperative that your focus be aligned with your values & goals.Understand the important differences between having a job & having a career --- & the distinction between having a career & having a life. Identify what you can do to break out of a job & position yourself to advance in a career. Learn to access whether your primary aim is your career or your life -- & gain insights to be able to determine whether the time is right to divide your focus.A fulfilling life needs to be full. Build an array of wealth that is not only financial but also physical, spiritual, relational, emotional & more. Take the first step towards a life that is rich in time (not always "crazy busy") & allows you to feel good.
Has the negative Voice in your head stopped being useful & productive? Is your Inner Critic -- that Gremlin in your thoughts that commands you to keep quiet, drives you to work yourself to exhaustion & constantly reminds you that you are not good enough -- no longer serving you? If so, it's time to throw your Inner Critic a retirement party! All of the Inner Critic's non-stop condemning & censoring was a clever & creative way to survive the tough circumstances of your childhood, schooling & early career. It was brilliant in helping to position you to be able to thrive later. And you are grateful for how well those strong messages pulled you through those early years!But the Gremlin has not kept up with you. The Voice is like the colleague who was the company superstar many decades ago & now dominates meetings with uninformed comments & grossly outdated advice.Learn how to bid farewell to your Inner Critic & welcome the "new management" of your thoughts & actions -- one that understands how much you and your world have changed. Recognize how much more sophisticated, capable & resourced you are now. See how greatly your needs & values have changed. Understand how natural & beneficial it is for your Inner Critic to make its departure at this time -- & enjoy a new & productive way of managing your day and your life.
Are you being paid less than what you are worth, but you don't know what to do about it? Whether you are an employee receiving a salary, bonus & equity grants, a professional with an hourly rate or a business owner charging a fee for services, you deserve to be paid for the value you bring to your employer & clients.This episode is your guide to establishing fee conviction & positioning yourself for higher compensation. Understand how your commercial worth is based upon the impact you deliver, not the hours you work. Shift your mindset from Scarcity's win/lose perspective & Work Ethic's tit-for-tat attitude to Abundance's win/win outlook. Gain practical tips for forming your pay goals & learn how to craft an effective implementation plan for higher pay.
Do you constantly strive to improve? Are you a highly accomplished person who strives to become even better? But does it seem as though the more that you develop, the more too that you deteriorate?Overcome the common mistake of conflating self-improvement with self-care. True self-care is an ongoing tending to our needs. Faux self-care is an attempt at compensatory amending of self-abuse. Learn to distinguish healthy self-discipline from brutal self-discipline. Gain practical skills to improve your self-care in ways that support your achieving your deepest goals -- & your sustaining of them for the long-term.
Many high achievers live under a spell of worry. Worrying gives many of us an illusion of control. We believe that we are being conscientious & responsible by worrying, but in truth we are draining our capacity.Learn to preserve your energy, so that you are response-able -- that is, you are able to respond to whatever comes, when it comes. Understand the differences between worrying, preparing & taking action. Plan for what is likely to happen -- & learn to be more fit & ready for anything that may come, however unexpected. Tap into the worry-taming power of knowing your values & your intentions. And gain many other practical tips for combatting worry.
Is your intense desire a healthy want or a destructive addiction? Is the all-consuming focus of your time & attention -- for work, a relationship, a hobby, money or some other substance, item or behavior -- putting you on a path to heaven or the road to hell? Can your drive & desire be satiated? Will attaining this goal or experience cause your world to become wider & richer -- or does it spur a progressive narrowing of your life?Learn to gage whether what you crave or feel compelled to do is restricting & depleting you or opening you up to broader experiences & a more multi-faceted life. Has an all-consuming focus of your time & attention taken over? Reclaim your vibrant health, meaningful relationships & your ability to feel satisfied. Cultivate what you need more of in order to thrive & create a life that is balanced & abundant.
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