Shame(less) Podcast

What does it mean for a man to grieve the loss of a child through miscarriage? In this vulnerable and raw conversation, returning guest Eric Schumacher joins Ken Freire to talk about something most men never speak of out loud: miscarriage from the father's perspective. Eric opens up about losing four children through miscarriage and how it challenged his identity, faith, and masculinity. Together, they explore how Christian men often bury their grief, avoid weakness, and wrongly carry shame over losses they can't explain or fix. This episode is a powerful reminder: grieving as a man isn't weakness — it's worship. 📍 TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Ken welcomes back Eric Schumacher 00:25 – Reflecting on The Good Gift of Weakness01:00 – Why Eric wrote Dads Hurt Too: A Father's Memoir of Miscarriage02:45 – The origin of the original essay & unexpected response from men 04:20 – Why a short, narrative book was needed for grieving dads 05:06 – "You're a dad": Validating the father's grief 05:37 – Why men don't talk about miscarriage 07:00 – Fix-it mode: The trap for grieving husbands 08:47 – Your grief is not a distraction — it's a way to love your wife 09:16 – Ken on compartmentalizing pain and fear of breaking down 10:07 – Why men resist weakness — and how Jesus meets us there 11:44 – Shame in miscarriage: "I couldn't protect my family" 13:34 – The mental spiral of "what if" and the illusion of control 14:14 – Ken shares his own miscarriage story 15:03 – The death of dreams and future hopes 16:53 – Grief delayed: When the due date hits 17:56 – Say something: Breaking the silence after loss 19:08 – The shame of not sharing early pregnancy news 21:01 – Why mourning publicly matters 22:30 – Ken's honest confession: "I'll never know if it was a son or daughter" 23:34 – Why stuffing grief doesn't work — and the better way forward 23:45 – Gospel hope for grieving fathers 25:09 – Jesus is not a stoic: A Savior who wept and felt anger at death 26:58 – Jesus understands weakness, failure, and being let down 28:04 – Shame wants to isolate you; Jesus wants to comfort you 29:22 – Ken: "God understands. He lost a Son too." 30:23 – Trust in the God who will not fail you 30:58 – Eric's final encouragement: Mark the dates, remember the loss 32:18 – Honor the life in ways that help you grieve 33:56 – "Grief is a way of loving what's lost." 34:40 – How men can reach Eric for support 35:24 – Ken closes the episode: Kill shame, stand strong in Christ, live on mission 📘 Resources Mentioned: * Dads Hurt Too: A Father's Memoir of Miscarriage by Eric Schumacher * The Good Gift of Weakness by Eric Schumacher * Gospel Care Collective: https://gospelcarecollective.org 📱 Connect with Eric Schumacher:Instagram, Twitter, or through ericshumacher.com (Full links in the show notes)

Why do so many Christian men feel like they're failing — at work, in marriage, in their faith — but still refuse to ask for help? In this raw and deeply moving episode, Ken Freire sits down with pastor, author, and counselor Eric Schumacher, who shares the story of how shame, perfectionism, and pressure to perform nearly crushed his ministry. From childhood insecurities to ministry burnout, Eric thought being strong meant never showing weakness — until one night he broke down completely… and God showed up in the wreckage. Eric opens up about his "dark night of the soul," how pastoral pressure cost him connection with his family, and why Jesus' weakness, not worldly strength, is the model for true Christian manhood. Whether you're exhausted from trying to hold it all together, or silently wondering if you're failing as a man — this episode may be the turning point you didn't know you needed. ⏱️ EPISODE TIMESTAMPS 00:00 — Why men hide weakness 01:20 — Meet Eric Schumacher 03:00 — Childhood perfectionism and approval addiction 05:45 — Ministry ambition and impure motives 08:00 — Burnout, anxiety, and the collapse of control 10:05 — The night Eric tore his Bible apart 13:00 — Grace shows up through his wife and elders 16:00 — How ministry hurt his marriage and parenting 19:30 — Numbing, anger, and checking out 23:00 — Why Christian men fear appearing weak 28:00 — Jesus' model of godly weakness 33:30 — God's power made perfect in weakness 38:00 — Why Paul boasted in his shame 48:00 — Weakness kills passivity and pride 57:00 — One step to embrace your weakness today 1:03:00 — Final thoughts + how to connect with Eric 🔥 TOP QUOTES "I thought being a strong pastor meant never being weak… until weakness saved me.""God doesn't work through your image of strength. He works through your dependence.""If we can't admit we're weak, we'll never experience that God is with us." 💥 Key Takeaways: * You don't need to be the strongest man in the room — just the most surrendered. * Numbing out, anger, and passivity often come from unacknowledged shame. * Jesus wasn't Instagram-worthy — He was despised, rejected, and weak by design. * True strength looks like admitting you need help and trusting God to show up. * Weakness isn't the end of your story — it's where the Gospel begins. 📲 Follow Eric Schumacher Instagram / Twitter: @emschumacher Book: The Good Gift of Weakness

What do you do when your worst nightmare becomes reality—and God doesn't step in the way you hoped? In this episode of the Shameless Podcast, Ken Freire sits down with Davey Blackburn, founder of Nothing Is Wasted Ministries [https://www.nothingiswasted.com/], to talk about grief, suffering, and how to find purpose when life feels shattered. Davey shares the heart-wrenching story of losing his pregnant wife, Amanda, to a random act of violence, and how God met him in the valley of grief, shame, and unanswered questions. This conversation goes deep—fast. Together, Ken and Davey wrestle with hard questions men often face in silence: * Why does God allow tragedy when we're following His will? * How do you process the endless what ifs that fuel guilt and shame? * Where is God when the suffering feels unbearable? * What does it look like to move from pain to purpose? * How do we respond with faith when tragedy strikes the people we look up to—like the recent assassination of Charlie Kirk? Davey's story is not just about loss—it's about the resilience God builds through suffering, the healing found in community, and the call to step back into mission even when it hurts. If you've ever felt abandoned by God or struggled to believe He's still good in the face of suffering, this episode will give you hope and perspective. Memorable Quotes "God's answer to suffering isn't an explanation—it's incarnation." – Davey Blackburn "We don't just need answers; we need a Person. And that Person is Jesus." – Ken Freire Resources Mentioned * Nothing Is Wasted Ministries [https://www.nothingiswasted.com/] * Nothing Is Wasted Podcast * Pain to Purpose Course Timestamps 00:00 – Introduction to Davey Blackburn 01:20 – The tragic day that changed everything 06:40 – Wrestling with guilt, shame, and the "what ifs" 13:30 – Learning to see God's providence in the details 19:00 – Asking the better question: "Where were You, God?" 25:00 – Moving from pain to purpose 31:00 – Launching Nothing Is Wasted 37:00 – Responding to cultural tragedy with compassion and truth 44:00 – Choosing restoration over revenge 49:00 – Practical encouragement for men walking through suffering 51:30 – How to connect with Davey and Nothing Is Wasted Connect with Davey 👉 Website: nothingiswasted.com [https://www.nothingiswasted.com/] 👉 Podcast: Nothing Is Wasted Podcast [https://www.nothingiswasted.com/podcast] 👉 Coaching & Courses: Pain to Purpose [https://www.mypaintopurposeplan.com/]

What happens when the man everyone turns to for healing is secretly breaking down? Dr. Mark McNear was a respected Christian therapist. But behind closed doors, he was overusing psychiatric medication to numb deep childhood trauma. In this raw episode, he shares how a confrontation with a psychiatrist forced him into rehab, how his family met his confession with grace, and how Jesus met him in the middle of his shame—not after he cleaned up. This is a story of grace, healing, and learning to feel safe in your own skin. Timestamps * 00:04 – The double life of a therapist * 01:24 – What people didn't see * 02:34 – Justifying the medications * 06:24 – The turning point: "You need rehab" * 08:03 – His wife's gracious response * 09:07 – His daughter's encouragement * 12:47 – Childhood trauma resurfaces * 15:20 – Learning to trust safe people * 19:24 – Wrestling with God's presence * 21:07 – Jesus asks, Do you want to get well? * 27:10 – Learning to feel safe in his body * 32:09 – Why Jiu-Jitsu became healing * 36:15 – Final encouragement to men Key Quotes * I was dripping with shame. * Addiction lied to me and told me I was fine. * No one told me I was traumatized. * Grace showed up before I believed it could. * God didn't wait for me to clean up. He met me in the mess. Resources & Links * Website & Coaching: www.markmcnear.com [https://www.markmcnear.com/] * Book: Finding My Words: A Ruthless Commitment to Healing Gently After Trauma * Scripture Referenced: Romans 2:4 Ephesians 2:10 Psalm 36:9 John 5:6 Call to Action If this episode resonated, don't keep it to yourself. Share it. Reach out to someone. Even just one person. You are not disqualified. God's grace gets the last word. Subscribe to the Shame(less) Podcast and follow us for more stories like this.

Have you ever carried a father wound that shaped how you see yourself, God, or the world around you? In this raw and powerful episode of the Shame(less) Podcast, Ken Freire sits down with Jonathan Lewis, founder of Fathers for Fathers, to unpack how trauma, addiction, and anger often stem from deep places of brokenness and how the Father's heart of God brings real healing. Jonathan shares his own journey: from trying to save his drowning father as a teen… to two decades of fog, despondency, addiction, and anger… to encountering Jesus in his 30s and finding a redemptive calling to help men break free. If you've ever felt like your past disqualifies you or if you're tired of holding it together alone, this episode might just be the beginning of something new. 💡 What You'll Learn: * Why fatherlessness impacts men more spiritually than we realize * How trauma shows up as despondency, anger, addiction, and isolation * The number one lie men believe about masculinity and the truth Scripture reveals * Why surrendering to the Father is the hardest and most masculine thing a man can do * How Fathers for Fathers is helping churches disciple broken men * The power of fasting, shared hardship, and vulnerability in male community * What it looks like to trust God with the things you fear most: your kids, your legacy, your wounds 📌 Notable Quotes: "We try to itch a spiritual wound with a broken stump and it doesn't work. Only the Father can reach it." — Jonathan Lewis "Anger in men is often born out of a deep injustice we know we can't fix. That's why we need a Savior." — Ken Freire "Hell wasn't created for you but rebellion leads us there. The gospel gives us a way out." — Jonathan Lewis ⏱️ Timestamps: 0:00 – The weight of fatherlessness 3:00 – Jonathan's story: losing his dad and blaming himself 7:00 – How trauma and guilt shaped his manhood 10:00 – The fog of despondency and false identity 14:00 – Anger, masculinity, and what's really going on under the surface 21:00 – The question every man must answer: Who is Jesus? 26:00 – Why surrender is the bravest act a man can make 33:00 – What Fathers for Fathers actually does and how churches can join 37:00 – Wilderness hikes, baptisms, and why shared pain brings freedom 42:00 – Father's Day challenge: fast, pray, walk, and step up 📣 Call to Action: Feeling the weight of fatherlessness, addiction, or disconnection from your purpose? Go to www.fathersforfathers.org [http://www.fathersforfathers.org/] to learn more, join a hike, or bring a men's ministry to your church. 📲 Text Jonathan directly. His number is listed on all socials, and yes, he actually replies. Want more content like this? 🔔 Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a man who needs to hear it.

Is your sexual desire something to suppress or something to understand? Could the cravings you battle with actually point toward something deeply holy? In today's powerful episode, host Ken Freire is joined by Matt Cline, founder of Restored Ministries, a global ministry that has helped over 4,000 men find freedom from sexual addiction through profound, heart-level transformation and intimacy with Christ. Matt challenges common views on sexual sin and shares personal revelations from his journey of healing and restoration. He reveals how true freedom isn't found in behavior modification or willpower alone, but in deeply knowing Christ and understanding the God-given purpose behind our desires. Key Takeaways: * Desire is Designed by God: Your sexual desires, though distorted by sin, were originally created to point you to intimacy with Christ. * Heart-Level Healing: Overcoming sexual sin isn't about just changing behaviors but about transforming your heart through intimacy with Jesus. * Identifying Triggers: Recognize that triggers are signals pointing to unmet desires and opportunities for deeper connection with God. * Embracing Identity: Freedom comes from knowing your true identity in Christ, which transforms how you respond to temptation. * Breaking Free from Shame: Confession and transparency are crucial steps toward healing and experiencing God's unconditional love. Episode Highlights: * Matt's personal encounter with Jesus, leading to freedom from pornography and healing from past trauma (02:00). * How sexual desire can actually guide you into a deeper intimacy with Christ (08:47). * The difference between behavior modification and Spirit-led transformation (13:24). * How to practically respond to triggers by turning to Christ and His truth (17:39). * The importance of confession and community in overcoming shame (23:13). * How identity in Christ is foundational to lasting freedom and healing (29:13). Memorable Quotes: * "It's not about doing, but just about being with Jesus and being united." – Matt Cline * "Sexual intimacy is a picture of a deeper intimacy with Christ." – Matt Cline * "Freedom isn't just possible; it's available and deeply fulfilling." – Matt Cline Connect with Matt Cline: * Website: Restored Ministries [https://restoredministries.ca/] * Community: Pure Freedom Community [https://purefc.ca/] * Coaching, courses, and additional resources available on the website. Recommended Next Steps: * Visit Restored Ministries [https://restoredministries.ca/] and explore free resources. * Join a supportive community to maintain accountability and encouragement. * Seek intimacy with God through scripture and prayer to experience lasting freedom. Remember to kill shame, stand strong, and be on mission. If today's conversation resonated with you, take action—connect with a supportive community, embrace transparency, and pursue intimacy with Jesus, the one who truly satisfies. God bless, and enjoy the journey of true freedom!

What if everything you thought you knew about sexual purity missed the bigger picture? In this powerful episode of the shame(less) podcast, Ken Freire sits down with therapist and author Sam Jolman, who wrote The Sex Talk You Never Got, to explore what it truly means to become a godly sexual man. They unpack how the church's teaching on purity culture, while well-meaning, often left men with more shame than freedom—and why it's time for a better conversation about sexuality, desire, and the body. Together, they dive into: * The difference between lust and arousal * How to honor your God-given sexual design without guilt * What healthy masculinity looks like in the context of Scripture * Why desire is not the enemy—and how to reorient it toward worship * How emotional dysregulation masquerades as sexual need * Why Jesus was the most sensual man who ever lived—and still sinless Whether you're married, single, or in recovery from sexual addiction, this episode will help you begin reclaiming your sexual story from a place of freedom, delight, and holiness. 🧠 Key Topics Covered: * Why purity culture often led to shame and confusion * Arousal vs. lust: understanding the difference * The role of beauty, play, and pleasure in spiritual formation * How Jesus modeled healthy sensuality * Rewriting the narrative: what it means to be a godly sexual man * The spiritual power of being fully present with your body * Turning the tables on shame through God's kindness 📘 About Sam Jolman: Sam Jolman is a therapist, counselor, and the author of The Sex Talk You Never Got. He's spent years helping men heal from shame, understand their sexual design, and live as whole, integrated, godly men. Sam writes regularly about faith, masculinity, and sexuality on Substack, and offers resources and workshops through his website. 👉 Get the Book + Free Paperback: https://samjolman.com [https://samjolman.com/] 🔗 Resources & Links: * Sam Jolman's Website: https://samjolman.com [https://samjolman.com/] * Join His Substack Community: https://samjolman.substack.com * Buy the Book: The Sex Talk You Never Got – Available wherever books are sold * Follow Sam on Instagram: @samjolman [https://instagram.com/samjolman] 🧵 Timestamps: * 00:03 – The problem with how the church teaches purity * 02:00 – Why "Am I sinning?" is not a deep enough question * 05:00 – How purity culture mishandled the male body * 13:00 – Arousal vs. lust: a biblical and scientific breakdown * 20:00 – Why sex is often misused as emotional regulation * 26:00 – What it means to be a good sexual man * 32:00 – Jesus, sensuality, and the power of beauty * 39:00 – Why play is essential for sexual wholeness * 43:00 – Final encouragement: Turn the tables on shame

In this deeply personal and redemptive conversation, Ken Freire sits down with Adam Westlake, a biblical counselor, to explore a Gospel-centered approach to same-sex attraction (SSA) and LGBTQ identity.  Adam vulnerably shares his own story of growing up in West Texas, wrestling with his identity, and finding true healing through Christ, community, and biblical counseling. Whether you're in Nashville, TN, or anywhere in the world, this episode offers powerful encouragement and practical steps for those struggling with sexual sin, identity confusion, or shame. 📌 Key Topics Covered: * Adam's journey from hiding same-sex attraction to walking in the light * The difference between experience and identity * How shame and silence grow without Gospel-centered community * Why sexuality is often a search for connection, validation, or healing * How Jesus satisfies our deepest longings as the Bread of Life * The role of the church in counseling and loving those with SSA * Common lies people believe when struggling with sexual identity * Reframing disordered desires through God's redemptive story 💡 Practical Takeaways: * Name the struggle: Bring your sin or confusion into the light with someone trustworthy. * Seek connection: Shame dies in community; isolation only feeds the struggle. * Confess early: Don't wait until you fall—share what's going on before the sin. * Feed on Christ: Only Jesus can truly satisfy the deep spiritual hunger in all of us. * You're not alone: Many believers silently wrestle with SSA—freedom begins with honesty. Powerful Quotes: "I had to learn that I wasn't that different… and that was actually a really good thing." – Adam Westlake "We don't need less hunger. We need the right Bread." – Adam Westlake "It's not about subtracting sin, it's about living with purpose and mission." – Ken Freire Guest Bio: Adam Westlake is a biblical counselor, worship leader, and producer who spent over a decade creating music with The Worship Initiative alongside Shane & Shane. Based in Texas, Adam now counsels individuals through his ministry, helping them reframe personal struggles through the lens of God's larger redemptive story. Connect with Adam Westlake: * adamwestlakecounseling.com [http://adamwestlakecounseling.com/] * Instagram: @adamwestlake [https://instagram.com/adamwestlake] Join the Mission: Love this episode? Share it with a friend who's struggling with shame, addiction, or confusion around their identity.  Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review—it helps more people discover the Gospel truth that shame doesn't have the final word.

Struggling with pornography addiction? In this episode, Ken Freire interviews Bryan Petkau, professional counselor and founder of Renewed Hope Coaching, about the limitations of traditional therapy in addiction recovery. Discover how faith-based coaching, accountability, and community can lead to lasting freedom.  Key Topics & Takeaways: 1️⃣ Why Therapy Alone Falls Short in Pornography Addiction Recovery * Traditional therapy models often lack real-time support. * Limited check-ins (weekly sessions) leave men vulnerable between meetings. * Professional constraints prevent faith-based integration in many counseling settings. * Therapy can be valuable for trauma recovery but may not fully address addiction. 2️⃣ The Power of Coaching & Community * Bryan transitioned from therapy to coaching to provide daily accountability and real-time check-ins. * Community support through group sessions and private groups ensures men never feel isolated. * Coaching offers high-touch support, focusing on biological, psychological, and spiritual healing. 3️⃣ Overcoming Common Lies & Roadblocks * Many men believe marriage will solve their addiction, but this is a lie of the enemy. * Feelings of shame, hopelessness, and self-condemnation often keep men stuck. * The enemy's goal is to destroy marriages and families, making this a spiritual battle as much as a behavioral one. * Recognizing triggers, lies, and spiritual warfare is key to long-term healing. 4️⃣ Renewed Hope Coaching Program Breakdown * Daily accountability (first 3 months). * One-on-one coaching for personalized battle plans. * Weekly group meetings for shared support and encouragement. * WhatsApp community for real-time help during moments of weakness. * Faith-based approach integrating biological, psychological, and spiritual strategies. Key Quote from Bryan Petkau: "Pornography is the sharpest sword the enemy uses to destroy marriages. But when men are surrounded by real support, they can reclaim their freedom and their families." Who Should Listen? ✅ Christian men struggling with pornography addiction. ✅ Husbands seeking to rebuild trust and integrity in their marriages. ✅ Pastors & mentors looking for resources to help men in their communities. ✅ Anyone frustrated with traditional therapy models and looking for a high-support, faith-based alternative. 🎯 Next Steps: 🔗 Learn more & work with Bryan: renewedhopecoaching.com [https://renewedhopecoaching.com/] 📢 Share this episode with someone who needs encouragement! 🙏 Remember: Kill shame, stand strong, and stay on mission. 🔔 Subscribe for more faith-driven recovery insights! 🚀

In this episode of the Shame(less) Podcast, Ken Freire sits down with Joe Masek, founder of The Freedom Group, to discuss his journey from addiction and abuse to redemption. Joe shares his story of childhood trauma, struggles with pornography, and the deep shame that followed—along with the practical steps that led him to freedom in Christ. This conversation is for men who feel trapped in addiction, isolated by shame, or unsure if true transformation is possible. What You'll Learn in This Episode * Joe's testimony: from childhood abuse to finding freedom in Christ * How shame isolates men and why breaking free starts with confession * The difference between cravings and temptation in addiction recovery * Practical tools to rewire the brain and overcome pornography * The role of brotherhood and daily accountability in healing * How suffering can shape you into the man God has called you to be Key Quotes "Porn isn't the problem. It's the solution we've used to cope with deeper wounds." – Joe Masek "Shame isolates you, but God calls you into community for healing." – Ken Freire "Freedom isn't just possible—it's promised in Christ." – Joe Masek Resources & Links Connect with Joe Masek & The Freedom Group: * Website: TheFreedomGroup.co [https://www.thefreedomgroup.co/] * Instagram: @FreedomCoach_Joe [https://www.instagram.com/FreedomCoach_Joe] * Facebook: The Freedom Group [https://www.facebook.com/TheFreedomGroup] * March 2025 Freedom Intensive in Estes Park, CO Books & Programs Mentioned: * Dangerous Men by Lowell Seashore [https://www.dangerousmen.org/] * Steps to Freedom Retreat Take the Next Step If you're struggling with shame, addiction, or feeling stuck in your spiritual walk, you're not alone. Find an accountability partner, and start the journey to freedom today. Help Others Break Free: * Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify * Share this episode with a friend * Follow @KenFreire on all major social media platforms for more encouragement

What if your connection with God isn't as deep as you think? Are you truly experiencing intimacy with God, or are you just imitating faith? In this powerful conversation, Eric Munoz shares his personal journey of breaking free from lust, overcoming shame, and learning true intimacy with God. From struggling with pornography and abandonment issues to finding spiritual freedom, Eric reveals the key steps every man needs to take to build a real, lasting relationship with Christ. In This Episode, You'll Learn: * The difference between intimacy and imitation in faith * Why so many men struggle with shame, lust, and addiction * How porn and self-medication keep men stuck in cycles of guilt * The one daily habit that led Eric to true freedom * How to stop wearing a mask and become the man God created you to be Ready to stop imitating faith and start experiencing true intimacy with God? Hit play now! Key Takeaways & Insights 1️⃣ Why Men Struggle with Intimacy with God Many men avoid intimacy with God because they associate it with weakness or think it's uncomfortable. Eric breaks down why deep spiritual connection is essential for overcoming struggles like lust and shame. Key Quote: "Men put up so many roadblocks between them and the intimacy they actually need. God is calling you into a deeper relationship—will you step into it?" 2️⃣ The Dangerous Cycle of Lust, Shame, and Isolation Eric shares how his early exposure to pornography created a pain-self-medication-shame cycle, trapping him in lust for years. He explains how this cycle fuels addiction, secrecy, and distance from God. Key Quote: "Shame makes you hide, but hiding only makes the cycle worse. The key to freedom is stepping into the light." 3️⃣ The Breakthrough: Freedom Comes from Intimacy, Not Willpower Eric spent years trying to "fix" himself with books, accountability partners, and self-discipline—but nothing worked until he prioritized spending time in God's presence daily. Practical Step: Wake up earlier and dedicate time to prayer and scripture. Even 15 minutes can make a massive difference! Key Quote: "Freedom didn't come when I tried harder. It came when I spent time with God and let Him transform me." Timestamped Episode Breakdown [00:00] Intro & Why This Episode Matters [02:02] Meet Eric Munoz: His Story & Mission [05:25] The Hidden Struggles of a Young Christian Leader [07:52] How Lust & Shame Create a Trap for Men [13:12] God's Game-Changing Word: "You Are Free" [16:52] The Turning Point: Choosing to Walk in Freedom [19:31] What True Intimacy with God Looks Like [26:49] Overcoming Childhood Trauma & Removing the Mask [37:06] The One Daily Habit That Can Change Everything [41:41] Where to Follow Eric & Final Encouragement Follow Eric Munoz * YouTube: Valley of the Heroic [https://www.youtube.com/@ValleyoftheHeroic] * Instagram: @EricMunozJr [https://www.instagram.com/ericmunozjr]

In this powerful episode of the Shame(less) Podcast, host Ken Freire sits down with Dustin Alley, the founder of Men After God, to discuss turning past regrets into a God-given mission.  Dustin shares his raw and unfiltered testimony, from his wild teenage years influenced by the Jackass-era subculture to his struggles with addiction, pornography, and dysfunctional relationships.  But his story doesn't end in shame—God transformed his life, leading him into a redemptive journey of ministry and marriage restoration. If you're a man struggling with regret, addiction, or the weight of past mistakes, this episode will show you that God's grace is bigger than your failures. Topics Covered: ✔️ Overcoming addiction, lust, and the past that tries to define us ✔️ The dangers of "functional dysfunction" and how we normalize sin ✔️ How porn rewires your brain and distorts intimacy in marriage ✔️ What real repentance looks like: Godly sorrow vs. worldly sorrow (2 Cor. 7:10) ✔️ The importance of discipleship, accountability, and mentorship ✔️ Practical steps for men to break free and lead their families well ✔️ Why self-forgiveness is often harder than accepting God's forgiveness ✔️ How to rebuild emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy in marriage ✔️ The birth of Men After God and why every man needs a mission Key Quote from Dustin Alley: "If I choose to hold past sin over my head, I'm putting myself in the place of God and doing something He doesn't even do with me. If I have confessed and repented, I am forgiven—so I need to live in the light of that forgiveness." Resources Mentioned: 🔗 Men After God: https://menaftergod.net [https://menaftergod.net/] 📖 Dustin's Book - Becoming a Man After God: Available on Amazon 👥 Join the Men After God Facebook Community: facebook.com/groups/menaftergod [https://facebook.com/groups/menaftergod] 📖 Recommended Reading: Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges, The Mortification of Sin by John Owen Practical Action Steps for Men: ✔️ Own Your Mistakes – Sit down with your wife and confess where you've fallen short. True leadership starts with humility. ✔️ Pick One Area to Improve – Don't get overwhelmed. Choose one practical way to strengthen emotional, spiritual, or physical intimacy. ✔️ Surround Yourself with Godly Men – Accountability is key. Join a brotherhood that will call you higher. ✔️ Stop Managing Sin—Kill It! – Repentance isn't about behavior management; it's about putting sin to death through daily submission to Christ. ✔️ Lead Your Family with Intentionality – Whether it's praying together, doing devotionals, or scheduling date nights, start leading with purpose today. Connect with Dustin Alley: 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/TheMenAfterGod [https://facebook.com/TheMenAfterGod] 🎙️ Podcast: The Men After God Podcast (Available on Spotify & Apple Podcasts) 🌎 Website: https://menaftergod.net [https://menaftergod.net/]

In this episode of The Shameless Podcast, Ken Freire interviews Anthony Curnutt on overcoming addiction, rebuilding trust in marriage, and embracing biblical masculinity. Learn how Anthony fought to restore his marriage after battling pornography addiction and how men can step into their God-given roles. This conversation is a must-listen for men struggling with addiction, marriage challenges, or seeking biblical masculinity. Key Takeaways & Lessons: ✅ Secrets Destroy Trust: Hiding addiction for years created shame and guilt, leading to the near collapse of his marriage. ✅ Healing Requires Surrender: True healing began when Anthony fully surrendered his struggles to Jesus, accountability partners, and trusted mentors. ✅ Marriage Needs Boundaries: To rebuild trust, Anthony and his wife set strong boundaries, including full transparency with passwords, accountability, and open conversations. ✅ Biblical Masculinity is Key: Society distorts masculinity, but men are called to be spiritual leaders, embracing God's design for manhood. Top Quotes from the Episode: 💬 "You cannot have a thriving marriage with secrets." – Anthony Curnutt 💬 "Jesus wants all of us healed—not just from sin, but from the wounds that led us into sin." – Anthony Curnutt 💬 "Every man needs three people in his life: a mentor, a mentee, and a brother who will fight alongside him." – Anthony Curnutt Resources & Where to Find Anthony Curnutt: 📖 Book: Framework for Biblical Masculinity – Available on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/] 🌐 Website: Real Men Ministries [https://realmenministries.us/] 📲 Follow on Social Media: * Facebook Group: Real Men Ministries: Becoming a Spiritual Leader * Instagram, X (Twitter), TikTok: @RealMenMinistries 🎙️ Podcast: Real Men Talk Podcast Final Thoughts: If you're struggling with addiction, shame, or marriage struggles, this episode is for you. Remember: healing takes time, but it is possible. Take the first step by reaching out for help, surrounding yourself with godly men, and leaning into God's grace. 📩 Liked this episode? Share it with a friend who needs encouragement! 🚀

In this powerful and deeply honest episode of the Shame(less) Podcast, Ken sits down with Keith Johnson, a man who has experienced the devastating effects of sexual sin firsthand but has also seen the transformative power of God's grace. Keith shares his journey of being trapped in sexual sin for 35 years, his struggles with adultery both before and after coming to Christ, and how he ultimately found freedom. This conversation dives deep into the nature of shame, confession, and the hope that comes through true repentance and restoration. Key Topics Covered: * Keith's background: A tumultuous family upbringing and early exposure to sexual sin. * The devastating impact of sexual addiction and adultery on his life and marriage. * The moment of salvation at 42 and how it initially felt like freedom. * The relapse into sin and how God's grace ultimately led to true, lasting transformation. * The role of confession, repentance, and community in breaking free from sin. * The importance of walking in true identity as a child of God rather than seeing oneself as an addict. * The biblical perspective on shame, guilt, and condemnation. * The structured 12-step program Keith developed to help men break free from sexual sin. Notable Quotes: * "There are two kinds of shame—one that leads you to Christ and another that keeps you in condemnation." * "God's arms are not too short to save. No matter how deep the sin, His grace is greater." * "Confession isn't about judgment. It's about bringing things into the light so healing can happen." * "We rejoice in our sufferings because suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope." Keith's 12-Step Christ-Centered Recovery Approach: 1. Admit powerlessness over sin. 2. Recognize the need for a Savior. 3. Fully surrender to God's will. 4. Conduct a fearless moral inventory. 5. Confess sins openly. 6. Become fully willing for God to remove defects. 7. Ask God for transformation. 8. Identify those harmed and seek to make amends. 9. Actively seek reconciliation where possible. 10. Continue self-examination and confession. 11. Deepen relationship with God through prayer and Scripture. 12. Share the message of freedom and disciple others. Action Steps for Listeners: * If you're struggling with sexual sin, don't stay in isolation. Reach out for help. * Confess and bring your struggles into the light. Healing begins with honesty. * Renew your mind daily in the Word and embrace your identity as a redeemed child of God. * Find a community or mentor who can walk with you through the process of restoration. * Consider reaching out to Keith if you need guidance through the recovery journey. How to Connect with Keith Johnson: Email: kjohnson@livinglatechurch.com Final Encouragement: Your sin does not outpace the grace of God. No matter where you are in your journey, there is hope, freedom, and restoration in Jesus. Keep pursuing Him, kill shame, stand strong, and be on mission! Closing Statement: Thank you for tuning in to the Shame(less) Podcast. If this episode impacted you, share it with someone who needs hope. Until next time, stay strong in Christ!

In this powerful episode of the Shame(less) Podcast, host Ken Freire welcomes Jason Weening—husband, father of 10, and host of the Helping Men Thrive Podcast. Jason shares his wisdom on how fathers can help their children overcome the shame associated with pornography. They discuss the importance of creating safe spaces, having ongoing conversations, and leading with intention and love. Key Takeaways: * The Power of Intentional Fatherhood: Jason emphasizes that being a father isn't just about financial provision but about active leadership within the home. * Creating Safe Spaces for Honest Conversations: Encouraging kids to ask questions without fear of shame is crucial to helping them navigate tough topics like pornography. * The Role of Training and Preparation: Fathers often feel unequipped to discuss these topics due to lack of training—Jason offers practical advice on where to start. * Recognizing the Signs of Struggle: Jason shares key indicators that your child may be struggling with pornography and how to address them without judgment. * Practical Steps for Parents: From making pornography a casual, approachable topic to utilizing great resources, Jason provides actionable tips for fathers. Notable Quotes: * "Dads, you matter. What you do in your family carries more influence than anything else." * "Feel the fear and do it anyway. You don't have to be perfect—just start the conversation." * "Normalize the conversation around pornography, so it's not a shame-filled topic in your home." Resources Mentioned: 1. Books for Parents and Kids:Good Pictures, Bad Pictures by Kristen Jenson (for young children) Who Made Me? – A simple, age-appropriate book for kids The Talks by Barrett Johnson – A guide to ongoing conversations about sex and purity God Made All of Me by Justin Holcomb – A resource for teaching kids about body safety and sexual abuse prevention The Bible – Using scripture to naturally introduce conversations about sexual integrity 2. Jason's Website and Book:Visit heydads.ca [https://www.heydads.ca/] for Jason's podcast, resources, and parenting content Danger in the Jungle – Jason's fiction book for boys, available on Amazon Practical Tips for Fathers: * Start early—don't wait for "the talk," but have many talks over time. * Use everyday opportunities like car rides or walks to introduce these conversations naturally. * Be honest about your own experiences and struggles to create a culture of openness. * Praise your kids when they come to you with questions or concerns, reinforcing trust and safety. * Watch for signs of secrecy and isolation and address them with grace, not guilt. Connect with Jason: * Website: heydads.ca [https://www.heydads.ca/] * Book: Danger in the Jungle (available on Amazon)

In this powerful episode of the Shame(less) Podcast, Ken Freire is joined by Frank Rich, founder of Rebuilt Recovery and host of The Rebuilt Man podcast. Frank shares his transformative journey from addiction and shame to freedom and purpose. He introduces his holistic approach to recovery, which uniquely integrates faith, fitness, and gut health to empower men to reclaim their God-given purpose. Frank discusses how aligning the body, mind, and spirit strengthens resolve against temptation, why gut health is critical for mental clarity and self-discipline, and how small, intentional actions can lead to lasting freedom. Whether you're struggling with addiction or seeking to live with greater purpose, this episode offers actionable insights to help you take the next step. What You'll Learn in This Episode: * How Frank's early exposure to pornography shaped his journey of addiction and recovery. * The pivotal role faith played in Frank's transformation and his decision to surrender to Christ in 2018. * Why gut health is foundational for mental clarity, emotional resilience, and resisting temptation. * Frank's unique framework for recovery, combining faith, behavioral science, and holistic health. * Practical steps to improve gut health and build discipline, including fasting and eliminating processed foods. * The importance of integrating faith from the start of your recovery journey. * How small, consistent wins can rebuild confidence and self-perception. Key Quotes: * "Life is hard. Choose your hard. Being stuck in addiction is hard. Building discipline is hard. But one of these paths leads to freedom." – Coach Frank * "Faith isn't a fallback for when we fail; it's the foundation for everything we do." – Ken Freire * "Restore your gut health, and you'll restore your ability to think clearly, act decisively, and fight temptation." – Coach Frank Practical Steps to Start Today: 1. Begin with a Fast: Try a 48-72 hour fast to gain mental clarity and understand your triggers. 2. Eliminate Processed Foods: Remove sugars and processed carbs from your diet and replace them with whole foods, such as lean meats, fruits, and vegetables. 3. Stack Small Wins: Commit to one small habit change, like cutting out soda or going for a daily walk, and build from there. 4. Integrate Faith Daily: Start your day by asking God for guidance and strength, making Him the foundation of your transformation. Resources Mentioned: * Rebuilt Recovery (Free community for resources and training) * Frank Rich on Instagram [https://instagram.com/coachfrankrich] * Surfing for God by Michael John Cusick (A must-read for those battling addiction) Connect with Frank Rich: * Instagram: @coachfrankrich [https://instagram.com/coachfrankrich] * YouTube: Coach Frank Rich [https://www.youtube.com/coachfrankrich] * Free Community: The Rebuilt Man Connect with Ken Freire: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kenfreire Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kenneth.freire Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kenfreire X: https://x.com/KenFreire

In this heartfelt and candid episode of the Shame(less) Podcast, Ken Freire welcomes long-time friend and guest Matthew Wyatt to discuss his powerful journey of overcoming morbid obesity, battling lust, and finding healing in Christ.  Matthew shares his struggles with unhealthy coping mechanisms, his turning points, and the vital role of community and accountability in his transformation. Together, they explore the interconnectedness of physical, emotional, and spiritual health, providing hope and encouragement for those battling similar challenges. What You'll Learn in This Episode: * How Matthew lost over 140 pounds in 11 months and transformed his health. * The connection between lust, addiction, and unresolved pain. * The importance of facing reality and embracing the identity God gives us. * Practical steps to find healing and freedom through community, repentance, and faith. * Encouragement for men struggling with shame, addiction, or obesity. Key Quotes: * "This is not going to fix itself. You will face consequences, but the good news is you can overcome it—and many have before you." – Matthew Wyatt * "God doesn't just forgive you; He makes you completely new. You are the bride of Christ, a child of God, and a royal priesthood." – Ken Freire * "You're not supposed to fight alone. You can choose to fight your battles with God or against Him. Choose wisely." – Matthew Wyatt Resources Mentioned: * Pure Desire Ministries [https://puredesire.org/] – Groups and resources for overcoming sexual addiction. * Conquer Series – A biblically-based program for men battling sexual addiction. * Connect with Matthew White: Find him on social media (@realMatthewWyatt). Take the Next Step: If you're struggling with shame, addiction, or weight issues, know that you are not alone. Reach out to a trusted friend, pastor, or mentor, and consider joining a support group. Start your journey today because, as Matthew says, "You are worth it." Follow & Subscribe: Stay tuned for more episodes aimed at helping you kill shame, stand strong, and live on mission. Subscribe to the Shame(less) Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts, and leave a review to help others find encouragement and hope. Connect with Ken Freire: * Instagram: @KenFreire [https://instagram.com/KenFreire] * Twitter: @KenFreire [https://twitter.com/KenFreire] * Website: beshameless.org [https://beshameless.org/] Thank you for listening! See you next week as we continue this journey toward freedom and purpose in Christ.

In this episode of Shame(less) Podcast, Ken Freire sits down with Sathiya Sam, founder of Deep Clean Coaching and host of the Unleash the Man Within podcast, to discuss why internet filters fall short in the fight against pornography addiction.  Sathiya shares his journey of overcoming a 15-year addiction, the limitations of behavior modification, and the transformative power of a root-based approach to recovery.  Through his three pillars of healing—self-awareness, trauma healing, and identity transformation—Sathiya equips men with the tools they need to experience lasting freedom in Christ. This candid and hope-filled conversation dives deep into the lies of shame, the importance of emotional connection, and the role of faith in healing, providing practical steps for men ready to reclaim their God-given potential and purpose. What You'll Learn in This Episode: * Why internet filters are only a temporary solution. * Sathiya's personal journey through addiction and how it led to Deep Clean Coaching. * The three root issues driving addiction: suppressed emotions, unresolved trauma, and limiting beliefs. * Practical tools for overcoming pornography Key Quotes: * "We're not in the business of helping guys quit porn; we're in the business of helping men become everything God made them to be." * "Real freedom isn't about filters—it's about heart transformation." * "God is more excited about your freedom than you are." Action Steps for Listeners: 1. Start journaling today using the two-part method: express and reflect. 2. Identify one person you can talk to about your struggle without fear of judgment. 3. Connect with a supportive community to build accountability and find encouragement. Resources Mentioned: * Deep Clean Coaching: sathiyasam.com [https://www.sathiyasam.com/] * Sathiya's Podcast: Unleash the Man Within * Instagram: @sathiyasam [https://www.instagram.com/sathiyasam/] Closing Thought: "Take action today. Recovery isn't just about knowledge; it's about stepping forward in faith, knowing God is with you every step of the way."

Guest: Ian Simkins, Lead Pastor at The Bridge Church In this episode of the Shame(less) podcast, host Ken Freire is joined by Ian Simkins to dive deep into the journey from distraction to purpose, especially as it relates to struggles like pornography and lust. Ian draws from his wealth of pastoral experience to unpack why so many men, even within the church, struggle with distraction and sin. Together, they explore how a lack of purpose leads to these struggles and how embracing God-given purpose can break the cycle. Key Topics Discussed: * Why men often use distractions like pornography to fill the void of purpose. * How presence and intimacy with God fuel a meaningful life and strengthen against sin. * The importance of embracing the mundane and living intentionally in the "sacred ordinary." * Practical steps for breaking free from distraction and cultivating intimacy with God. * Why community and accountability are essential for overcoming shame and living with purpose. Ian also shares wisdom from scripture, including how living as "beloved sons of God" reframes everything, from our ambitions to our daily actions. Whether you're looking to overcome shame, break free from distractions, or discover a deeper purpose, this episode offers spiritual insights and actionable steps to help you stand strong and live on mission. Resources Mentioned: * The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence * Fighting Shadows by Jeff Bethke and Jon Tyson Connect with Ian Simkins: * Website: iansimkins.com [https://iansimkins.com/] * Instagram: @iansimkins [https://instagram.com/iansimkins] * The Bridge Church: bridge.tv [https://bridge.tv/] Connect with Ken Freire:  * Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kenfreire * Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/kenneth.freire * Tik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@kenfreire * X - https://x.com/KenFreire

In this transformative episode of Shame(less), host Ken Freire sits down with Drew Boa, founder of the Husband Material Academy and Podcast, to discuss the connection between sexual fantasies, childhood wounds, and addiction recovery. Drew shares his personal journey of breaking free from porn addiction, explains the importance of understanding triggers and fantasies, and offers practical advice for healing the inner child. Together, Ken and Drew unpack the power of vulnerability, self-compassion, and spiritual growth to help men overcome shame and live purposefully. What You'll Learn in This Episode: * Drew's personal story of overcoming porn addiction and discovering the deeper meaning behind his fantasies. * How sexual triggers and fantasies are often connected to unresolved childhood wounds. * Why self-compassion is more effective than the traditional "military mindset" of battling addiction. * Practical steps for connecting with your inner child and reframing triggers as opportunities for healing. * The difference between arousal and desire and how understanding this distinction fosters freedom. * How opening up to others and being fully known can break the power of shame. Important Links and Resources Mentioned: * Husband Material Academy: Learn more about Drew's program for men seeking sexual and emotional healing at HusbandMaterial.com [https://www.husbandmaterial.com/]. * Porn Free Men's Conference: Join Drew for a free live event on January 10–11, 2025. Details and registration available at thepornfreeman.com [https://www.husbandmaterial.com/the-porn-free-man] * Jay Stringer's Book "Unwanted": A resource mentioned by Drew that explores the deeper meaning behind sexual fantasies and how to heal from unwanted behaviors. * Shame(less) Podcast Website: BeShameless.org [https://www.beshameless.org/] Quotes to Remember: * "Heal the boy to free the man." – Drew Boa * "Arousal is what your body craves; desire is what your heart truly longs for." – Drew Boa * "Any part of yourself that you hate will hide and retaliate." – Drew Boa * "Porn is a pacifier. One day, you'll drop it because you've outgrown it." – Drew Boa Action Steps for Listeners: 1. Reflect on your own triggers and consider what they might reveal about deeper unmet needs or wounds. 2. Find a safe person or group to share your struggles and begin the journey of being fully known. 3. Visit HusbandMaterial.com [https://www.husbandmaterial.com/] to learn about Drew's resources and join the free Porn Free Men's Conference in January 2025. 4. Start practicing self-compassion by acknowledging your feelings and being present with your inner child. Connect with Us: * Drew Boa: Visit HusbandMaterial.com [https://www.husbandmaterial.com/] or follow him on social media. * Ken Freire: Reach out through BeShameless.org [https://www.beshameless.org/] for follow-up questions or support or Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/kenfreire