We are the Traffic | A Self-Help Podcast

Tyler and Ally recorded this one in the middle of real life, a sudden loss, a dog gone too soon, a world asking a lot from everyone at once. What came out of it was one of their most honest conversations yet.They get into what grief actually looks like inside a business, why founders can't stop themselves from trying to fix everything, and what it costs when your mind keeps writing checks your body can't cash. Tyler shares the two tools he used in real time this week to stay grounded when everything was pulling him toward reaction — and Ally brings it home with what a convent sign on a random run had to say about all of it.No way out but in.

What if holding two opposing truths at the same time is the most important skill nobody is teaching? In this episode, Tyler and Ally go deep on morning routines and rewiring your bandwidth, the algorithm you're feeding without realizing it, and the hardest conversation of the episode, policing, privilege, and what it actually takes to see a human being instead of a label.Tyler shares the moment he realized he thought the police worked for him. Ally admits to a visceral reaction she's trying to unlearn. And somehow, between sea turtles, a Shiva wig, and a Buddhist principle that might change how you argue forever, they land somewhere honest, uncomfortable, and worth sitting with.No easy answers. Just two people refusing to look away, and refusing to stop finding joy in the middle of it.

Something worth saying up front: this is a new show.You may know Tyler from Not Your Teacher, a solo podcast he's been running for a while now. This is different. We Are the Traffic is a co-hosted conversation between Tyler Lewke and Ally Gregory, and it exists because the two of them kept having the kind of honest, wandering, hard-to-categorize conversations that felt too good to keep to themselves.The name came from a four-year-old. Ally's son Juniper, stuck in traffic, asked why everything was stopped. Ally explained that everyone was waiting for the traffic to clear. Juniper looked at her and said: but we are the traffic.That's the show. We are not observers of the mess. We are the mess. And the only honest place to start is there.In this first episode, Tyler and Ally follow a single question all the way down: what happens when we choose inquiry over outrage?Language isn't just how we communicate. It's how we see, or erase, the person in front of us. From pronouns to the talk a brother-in-law didn't know how to give, to a hug that quietly changed everything, this conversation is about the space between understanding someone and honoring them.You don't have to understand it. You just have to honor it.This is episode one. This is where it starts.No way out but in.

Tyler and running coach Ally Gregory sit down for a raw, wide-ranging conversation about mental fortitude, collective heaviness, and the exhaustion that comes from constant context-switching in modern life.This episode moves from taper blues and training struggles into deeper territory: navigating a world that feels increasingly heavy, finding compassion in the midst of tragedy, and recognizing that we are not stuck IN the traffic—we ARE the traffic. Tyler shares a vulnerable reflection on the Minneapolis shooting, questioning his impulse to "other" the shooter while honoring the grief. Ally responds with honesty about her own family's conversations and the flickers of light they're all searching for.The conversation shifts to Tyler's revelation about burnout: after uploading his entire calendar for AI analysis, he discovered his exhaustion wasn't from working too many hours—it was from switching contexts hundreds of times without pause. He shares his militant redesign of daily life around "the cost of switching" and why he's learning to do instead of declare.Ally commits to feeling her emotions "with her whole chest" in 2026, including crying over ruined croissants. Tyler wants to be an earthquake—small shifts that ripple outward, shaking up old patterns so we can settle into new directions.This is a conversation about staying open-hearted when the world feels closed, finding the good even in tragedy, and recognizing that individual actions matter more than we think. Because when two or more are gathered, the ripples start to grow.

Why Your Self-Care Practices Aren't Working (And What to Do Instead)Your meditation isn't hitting the same. Your morning run feels hollow. The journaling that used to center you now feels like going through the motions. What's happening?In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Tyler Lewke and Ally Gregory explore why our coping mechanisms are failing us right now—and it's not what you think. The problem isn't the practices themselves; it's our expectation that they should work the way they always have.Drawing on the metaphor of interconnected root systems in a forest, Tyler explains why individual self-care can never be enough when the community around us is suffering. When the tree down the street is struggling, we feel it too—whether we realize it or not.In this episode:Why self-care without community care is incompleteThe radical act of curiosity over fear in uncertain timesHow to recognize when YOU are "they"Why we need to rotate our practices instead of letting them become habitsThe difference between people in a room and actual communityTyler's 4am running revelation that changed how he sees strangersWhy the benefits of your practices show up when you need them, not when you want themThis conversation doesn't offer easy answers or quick fixes. Instead, it offers something better: permission to feel uncertain, tools to stay open-hearted, and a reminder that practicing humanity might be the most important self-care of all.

In this raw and vulnerable episode, Tyler explores the profound difference between actual pain and the fear that keeps us frozen long after healing has begun. After months of back pain that prevented him from running, Tyler discovers that even when the physical pain subsided, fear continued to paralyze him—until his friend Ally refused to let him cancel their running session.This realization opens a deeper conversation about when to push through versus when to rest, the sacred middle path between effort and surrender, and how hustle culture has conditioned us to ignore our bodies' wisdom. Tyler shares his transformative experience at an Indigenous healing circle in Ohio, where he witnessed the profound simplicity of collective pain release and learned about the seven generations practice—honoring seven generations past and considering seven generations future in every action.From the power of "noble friendship" that refuses to let us give up, to discovering the indigenous wisdom that exists right beneath our feet, this episode challenges us to examine what else in our lives we've been capable of doing but haven't because of fear, expectation, or simple resistance to getting started.

Tyler sits down for an in-depth conversation about what it really takes to scale a business—and it's not what most entrepreneurs think. In this raw, unfiltered episode, Tyler reveals why nearly every business challenge he encounters traces back to one thing: our relationship with money.From his unconventional coaching approach that seamlessly weaves between QuickBooks and sex life conversations, to the explosive reactions that happen when entrepreneurs are forced to examine their financial beliefs, Tyler shares the real stories from his coaching practice. He explains why he believes "debt is the albatross of the creative spirit"—not just credit card debt, but emotional debt, unfinished business, and unhealed relationships that keep us stuck.What you'll hear:Why traditional business coaching misses the mark by separating inner work from outer growthThe moment most entrepreneurs blow up when confronted about money (and what happens next)How poverty consciousness keeps talented people playing small, regardless of their skillsTyler's intensive retreat model and why he's "not an accountability coach"The connection between childhood money messages and current business plateausWhy there's literally "no way out but in" when it comes to real growthPerfect for: Entrepreneurs who've hit a plateau, business owners who suspect their limitations aren't tactical but personal, and anyone ready to examine the deeper patterns that keep them stuck.This isn't your typical business podcast episode—it's a deep dive into the intersection of money, psychology, and authentic business growth. Come prepared to question everything you think you know about scaling a business.

In these weird, wild and uncertain times of our current lived experiences, we all have a hunger to know how to keep our relationships growing and businesses thriving, while keeping our hearts and minds open and centered.This unconventional conversation with Mary and Ali dives deep into how we're all carrying more than we realize. Our nervous systems are inflamed, absorbing the chaos and discord around us - even when our intellect isn't attaching to it. We explore why everyone seems "fucked off" right now and how to recognize that much of what we're experiencing isn't even ours.When we speak f*cking truth, everything gets better. That's why I'm offering 15 questions to help deepen your awareness, cultivate more empathy, and add just a little more love to the world. Because that's how we change everything - by offering a tiny bit more grace with someone you don't directly relate to.Remember: your biology is receiving messages you don't even know you're getting. Work wise, speak truth, love people - and don't forget to breathe.

Tyler and Mary explore a transformative concept: what if our deepest struggles aren't actually ours, but inherited patterns we can choose to return to sender?Tyler shares his breakthrough realization that the money anxieties waking him at 2AM for thirty years weren't his own - they were inherited from his father. Through observing his dad and uncle during a recent visit, Tyler discovered how to "return to sender" these inherited traumas, leading to immediate relief from lifelong struggles with financial anxiety and body image issues.Mary reflects on her own inherited pattern of constant apologizing - her mother's "forty dressings" syndrome - and how liberating it feels to recognize these behaviors as borrowed rather than intrinsic.Together, they unpack how we inherit not just money or physical traits, but also anxieties, behavioral patterns, and limiting beliefs. This episode introduces a radical concept: we can acknowledge these inheritances with love and compassion, then consciously choose which ones to keep and which to return.Join Tyler and Mary as they explore this revolutionary approach to healing, offering practical techniques for identifying and releasing generational patterns that were never yours to fix in the first place.

In this beautifully messy episode, Tyler and Mary dive deep into the transformative power of clearing exercises and authentic ritual. Through their 25-year friendship, they've developed practices that cut through the noise of aspirational thinking and get to the heart of what matters. Mary vulnerably shares how a "productive lie" led to profound truth, while they explore their time-tested New Year's ritual - a seven-hour journey through accomplishments, regrets, resentments, and the eternal question of "what's next?" This conversation isn't your typical goal-setting pep talk. It's about the gritty, honest work of looking in the mirror, naming what's incomplete, and finding the "one thing" that makes everything else easier or unnecessary. Tyler and Mary challenge the Instagram-ready declarations of "new year, new me" by offering a more grounded path: deep introspection, radical honesty, and a commitment to actionable change. Whether you're a seeker, a teacher, or someone searching for more authentic ways to grow, this episode invites you into intimate dialogue about what it truly means to hold space, embrace constraints, and allow life to change us rather than trying to force change upon life. #iloveyouiamlistening #iloveyoukeepgoing

In the Sacred Space Between Silence and Sharing What lies in that tender space between what we show the world and what we hold within? In this intimate episode, Tyler guides us through the delicate dance of vulnerability as he sits with a client in a one-on-one Check In - that rare moment when the walls come down and truth rises up. We all walk through life carrying silent stories - our deepest fears nestled beside our wildest dreams, our quiet celebrations wrapped around our hidden wounds. For 95% of our journey, these stories remain untold, locked away in the chambers of our hearts. But what happens in that precious 5% when we dare to unlock the door? Through this raw and unfiltered conversation, witness the transformative power of being truly seen. Feel the weight of unspoken words finally finding their way into the light, the trembling release of sharing what we've held so tightly. This isn't just another therapy session - it's a masterclass in human connection, showing us how to create that rare, sacred container where both our shadows and our light can dance freely. Whether you're seeking your own path to deeper sharing or learning to hold space for others, this episode offers a roadmap for navigating the vulnerable territories of the heart. Join Tyler as he demonstrates how to build that bridge of trust, one careful step at a time, showing us that our deepest healing often begins the moment we stop carrying our stories alone. This is more than just a conversation - it's an invitation to examine your own untold stories, to consider what might be waiting to be shared, and to remember that sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is simply let ourselves be seen.

What happens when Grant & Tyler commit to complete silence for 48 hours? In this raw and transformative episode, Grant and Tyler embark on a Noble Silence retreat together, documenting their individual experiences before merging into shared reflection. The silence speaks volumes as they navigate the uncomfortable spaces between thoughts, the weight of unspoken words, and the profound clarity that emerges when external noise fades away. From Tyler's restless mind grappling with the absence of distraction to Grant's unexpected encounters, their separate journeys interweave into a shared tapestry of discovery. Listen as they explore the sticky moments of time that stretch and compress, the sacred discomfort of sitting with oneself, and the surprising revelations that surface when the familiar rhythms of married life fall away. Their before-and-after reflections reveal not just what they learned about silence, but what silence taught them about their relationship and themselves. This episode isn't just about a couple choosing not to speak – it's about what happens when we dare to listen to the quietest parts of ourselves, and the unexpected reconciliation that occurs when we finally hear what we've been too loud to notice. #NobleSlience #InnerJourney #ListeningToSilence #MarriedLife

In this intimate 5-minute meditation, we explore what it means to truly inhabit your own space. Like footprints in wet sand, we often leave impressions everywhere except within ourselves. Today, we're changing that. Raw, unfiltered, and deliberately uncomfortable – this isn't your typical meditation. We'll sit with the noise, the resistance, and the parts of ourselves we usually rush past. No incense, no wind chimes, just you claiming your right to exist fully in this moment. Whether you're crammed in a subway car or alone in your bedroom at 3am, these five minutes are yours to take up space unapologetically. To breathe deeper than society tells you you're allowed to. To be confused, conflicted, and completely present – all at once. Because sometimes the most rebellious act is simply allowing yourself to be. #TimeInToTakeUp #SitWithYourself #NotYourTeacher

We dive into a pivotal moment on a freezing Canadian stage that transforms into a powerful meditation on American division. We reveal deeper truths about the violence we inflict on each other daily through our choices to disconnect, condemn, and close our hearts. Through raw, honest reflection, we explore the empty chairs at our Thanksgiving tables, the Facebook rants that ended friendships, and the moment-by-moment choices that led us here. But this isn't just another conversation about political division - it's a call to examine our own role in the dissolution of our shared humanity and an invitation to become "curious, not furious." The episode culminates in a passionate exploration of civic engagement as a spiritual practice - one that asks us to look beyond our individual grievances to recognize our profound interconnectedness. Join us for an unforgettable message about how we might begin to heal our collective wounds, one conscious choice at a time. #NotYourTeacher #CivicEngagement #Healing #Community #Democracy #Dialogue

Checking In: The Mirror of Self-Reflection In this raw and introspective episode of 'Not Your Teacher', Tyler Lewke dives deep into the murky waters of self-examination. Tyler grapples with the profound confusion and conflict that often accompany moments of intense growth. How do we truly check in with ourselves? What questions should we be asking to gauge our alignment with our deepest commitments? Tyler explores these themes through a lens both deeply personal and universally relatable. Drawing from his recent experiences - from the joy of adventure to the stark realities of climate change - Tyler challenges listeners to confront their own mirrors. He poses tough questions: Are you living up to your own standards of service? How do you reconcile your impact on the world with your intentions? In what ways are you showing up differently than you'd hoped? Where have you found unexpected growth, and how can you nurture it? This episode isn't about easy answers. It's about sitting with discomfort, embracing confusion, and finding the courage to look unflinchingly at our own reflections. Tyler shares his process of recommitting to his work, relationships, and creative spirit in the face of overwhelming experiences. Whether you're grappling with your own life-changing journey or simply seeking a more authentic way of being, this episode offers a roadmap for self-reflection that's both challenging and deeply rewarding. Tune in for an unfiltered exploration of what it means to truly check in with yourself and commit to personal growth, even when - especially when - it's uncomfortable. #iloveyouiamlistening

Stop Fixing Your Problems to Solve Them What if the secret to solving your problems wasn’t fixing them? In this episode of the Not Your Teacher podcast, we dig into the paradox of problem-solving: the more we try to “fix,” the deeper we sink. Tyler explores the idea that our constant need to fix, tweak, and adjust might be what’s actually keeping us stuck. Join Tyler as he challenges you to think differently, embrace the discomfort of your problems, and discover a new way forward—one where solutions aren’t about doing more, but about seeing more clearly. Stop fixing. Start solving. Let’s change the conversation around problem-solving and discover what’s possible when we let go. #NotYourTeacher #StopFixingStartSolving #TylerLewke #PersonalGrowth #MindsetShift #PodcastEpisode

In this episode, we step into the vibrant world of Pride, peeling back the layers of its meaning far beyond the rainbow flags and parades. Join Tyler Lewke as he takes a raw and unfiltered dive into what Pride truly represents—both as a personal journey and a powerful movement. From challenging societal norms to finding the courage to be authentically yourself, this conversation is a reminder that Pride isn’t just a celebration; it’s a radical declaration of self-love, acceptance, and the relentless pursuit of equality. Let’s explore the stories of those who live their truth out loud and learn what it really means to stand proud in a world that still has so much to learn. This isn’t just another episode—it’s a call to embrace who you are, unapologetically. Tune in and join the conversation. 🌈

In this episode of "Not Your Teacher," Tyler Lewke dives deep into the art of handling difficult people. Drawing from his extensive experience as a business therapist and radical disruptor, Tyler shares actionable insights and personal anecdotes that uncover the hidden dynamics behind challenging interactions. Whether it's a tough colleague, a demanding client, or a personal relationship, Tyler's wisdom will help you navigate these waters with grace and authenticity. Join us as we explore the strategies that transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and connection. Remember, it's not about changing them—it's about evolving you. Tune in and elevate your interactions today.

🎙️ Not My Teacher Podcast: Where We Plant Our Seeds In this episode, we delve into the profound idea that where we plant our seeds in life shapes our journey in unexpected ways. Tyler Lewke explores the hidden impact of small moments, like the simple act of drinking tea, and how they ripple through our lives, creating lasting effects. Join us as we uncover the beauty in the seemingly insignificant and the powerful influence of everyday actions on our path to growth and fulfillment. Tune in now and be inspired by the magic of life's little moments! 🌱☕️ #NotMyTeacher #TylerLewke #LifeLessons #SmallMoments #PersonalGrowth

In this episode of the Not Your Teacher podcast, Tyler sits down with his best friend Mary for a raw and honest conversation. They dive deep into their insecurities, exploring why they sometimes avoid doing the work that's necessary for personal growth. Tyler and Mary open up about their fears, vulnerabilities, and the challenges they face in their journeys. This episode is a candid exploration of the human experience, filled with laughter, tears, and profound insights. Join us for an intimate and inspiring discussion that will resonate with anyone who has ever struggled with self-doubt. Tune in and discover the power of facing your insecurities head-on.