The Next Podcast: Moving Forward with Grief and Loss

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, I share honestly about where I am now — not as a pastor or teacher, but as a man still walking forward after loss.Grief has reshaped me. It has changed how I see myself, my future, and even my voice. As a widower who loved being married, I wrestle with what it means to still speak about marriage. I grieve not only the loss of my bride, but for the person I might have become with her by my side.In this episode, I talk about:• Loss does not disqualify you from having a voice• Grieving the version of yourself that might have been• Beauty as God’s invitation back to life.• Why grief feels like “the fast you never break”• Why ordinary memories — bananas, coffee, tea — carry sacred weight• Trusting God’s goodness without requiring something “good” to come from your painIf you are grieving more than just a person — if you’re grieving identity, future, or the ordinary rhythms of life — I hope this conversation reminds you:You’re not strange.You’re not behind.You’re not doing this wrong.You are heard.God is good. He is always good. And He answers out of His goodness.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

Grief doesn’t just take what you love. It changes who you are.In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham continues the conversation about grief as a rite of passage by stepping into what may be the hardest part of the journey—the middle space. That in-between place where you are no longer who you were, but not yet who you are becoming.Jay shares honestly about disorientation, about learning to function in a life he didn’t choose after the loss of his bride, Christine, and about the quietness of God in seasons where clarity doesn’t come quickly. He speaks to the tension of wanting a map while discovering that what we truly need is proximity to the Father.If you’ve felt lost, numb, behind, or unsure of who you are anymore, this episode offers language for that experience. The middle is not wasted space. It is sacred ground where identity is refined, dependence grows deeper, and God meets us daily with just enough grace.You are not behind. You are in between. And God is still good there.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

If grief is a rite of passage, then stripping is part of the journey.In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham continues the conversation from Episode 53, exploring what grief takes from us—and why that painful undoing is not a sign of failure, but a necessary part of transformation.Jay speaks candidly about the roles, rhythms, language, and assumptions that grief dismantles after the loss of his bride, Christine. He reflects on the feeling of being “undone,” not as something broken beyond repair, but as evidence that the work is not finished yet.This episode invites listeners to slow down, resist the urge to rebuild too quickly, and allow God to meet them in the rubble. Grief strips away much, but it cannot strip away God’s presence, love, or redemptive work in our lives.If you feel disoriented, unfinished, or unsure who you are anymore, this conversation offers permission to engage the process honestly—one step at a time, with God.

Grief is not a problem to fix, a disease to cure, or a sentence to serve. It is a passage to walk through.In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham reflects on grief as a rite of passage—one that is entered, not chosen, and one that changes us whether we’re ready or not. Drawing from his own six-year journey after the loss of his bride, Christine, Jay shares how grief dismantles what was familiar and invites us into a deeper, more honest walk with God.This conversation explores grief not as something to conquer, but as sacred ground where lament, worship, endurance, and intimacy with God are formed. Jay speaks candidly about what hasn’t worked, what still hurts, and how redemption doesn’t come through answers or explanations—but through the presence of God Himself.If you feel stuck, behind, exhausted, or unsure why this journey is taking so long, this episode offers a reframing that may bring freedom: you are not failing—you are in passage.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me acoffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping megrow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham gently reframes the idea of “goals” through the lens of grief, loss, and faith. These are not resolutions meant to fix pain or rush healing. They are sacred goals for widowers—and for anyone walking with grief—who are learning how to live faithfully with loss.Jay walks through seven intentional goals, including honesty, stewardship, endurance, remembrance without drowning, worship through lament, community, and trusting God’s definition of good. Each goal offers space for breath, truth, and surrender rather than pressure or performance.Rooted in Scripture and personal experience, this episode reminds us that grief doesn’t reset with the calendar, but God remains present and faithful in every season. As the year unfolds, listeners are invited to walk forward slowly, honestly, and imperfectly, trusting a God who crowns our year with His goodness and surrounds us with His presence.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

A new year always invites reflection—but when grief is part of your story, reflection becomes sacred work.In this episode, Jay Cookingham talks honestly about what it means to carry both sorrow and hope into a new season. Six years into life as a widower, Jay reflects on the tension between “praise reports” and the parts of grief that are harder to share—the wounds, the exhaustion, the stories behind the tears.This episode is about telling the whole story. Not just the victories, but the battles. Not just the fruit, but the pain that produced it. Jay explores biblical lament, the courage of honesty, and the truth that mourning and celebration can exist side by side.If you’re navigating grief, supporting someone who is, or wondering how God’s goodness fits into ongoing pain, this conversation creates space for honesty, worship, and hope.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56tRemember: God is good. He is always good. And He always answers out of His goodness.

Episode 50 marks an important milestone on The NEXT Podcast, and Jay reflects with gratitude on the journey so far—fifty honest conversations shaped by loss, faith, and the steady presence of God.As the calendar turns to a new year, this episode gently acknowledges a truth many grieving hearts know well: while the date may change, grief often remains. The New Year doesn’t automatically feel fresh or hopeful when loss still walks beside us.Drawing from C.S. Lewis, Scripture, and his own experience of entering another year without Christine, Jay explores grief not as a destination, but as a process—one God meets us in daily. He reminds listeners that God’s mercies are not reserved for New Year’s Day, but are new every single morning, even in the wilderness of sorrow.This episode is an invitation to release the pressure of forced resolutions, to honor the reality of ongoing grief, and to lean into God’s faithfulness one day at a time. If you’re stepping into a new year carrying old heartache, this conversation offers hope, honesty, and the reassurance that God is still making a way forward.

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year” … or is it?For many walking through grief, Christmas doesn’t feel wonderful at all. In this deeply honest episode, Jay reflects on another Christmas without his bride and the complicated, messy reality of holding grief and celebration at the same time.Drawing from Scripture, personal experience, and the truth of the gospel, Jay explores the difference between seasonal cheer and lasting joy. He reminds us that joy is not the absence of sorrow, but the presence of hope — rooted in belonging to Jesus, the Light of the world.This episode offers comfort for those who feel lonely, weary, or out of sync with the holiday season, while gently pointing listeners back to Emmanuel — God with us and God for us — even in seasons that don’t feel merry or bright.If Christmas feels “not so wonderful” this year, you’re not alone. This conversation invites you to choose worship, receive God’s indescribable gift, and trust His goodness as you move forward.

Christmas comes wrapped in lights, music, and cheer, but for those walking through grief, the season can feel completely out of sync with the heart. In this episode, Jay speaks honestly about the tension between cultural “holly jolly” expectations and the real weight of loss, especially when facing Christmas without the one who helped make it meaningful.Drawing from a personal Christmas Eve journal entry, Jay reflects on how traditions shift, memories surface, and grief deepens during the holidays. Yet he also shares the deeper truth that anchors his heart: Christmas isn’t built on mood, but on Emmanuel—God with us. Even in seasons of grief, God continues to give strength, presence, peace, and hope.If this Christmas feels different or difficult, this conversation will meet you with honesty, comfort, and the reminder that you don’t have to manufacture joy.You simply must make room for the One who enters broken places with love.

In this vulnerable and hope-filled episode, Jay shares what it means to steward singleness during the holiday season, a season that carries both beauty and deep complexity for those grieving.Jay speaks honestly about his own journey as a widower, acknowledging that singleness isn’t something he prefers or celebrates, but a season God has asked him to steward with purpose. With warmth and clarity, he explores how the holidays amplify grief, memories, expectations, and loneliness, yet can still become sacred opportunities to trust God in new ways.Jay outlines how he is learning to steward his time, emotions, and expectations wisely, while offering practical insight for anyone navigating “different” holidays. He also shares a heartfelt reflection on Christmas without his wife, and how even in broken traditions, the truth of Emmanuel — God with us — remains unshaken.If you're entering this season with a tender heart, this episode will help you find grace, perspective, and the courage to make room for God in your journey.Tune in to Episode 47: “Stewarding Singleness During the Holidays.”Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In this heartfelt Thanksgiving episode, Jay shares why gratitude becomes even more meaningful — and more challenging — in seasons of grief. Drawing from Psalm 9:1 and Psalm 28:7, he reflects on the last Thanksgiving his wife spent at home, the pieces of his heart still scattered by loss, and how choosing thankfulness has become a courageous act of trust.Jay reminds us that gratitude doesn’t erase sorrow; it reframes it. It’s quieter, more tender, and often found in the small, honest moments: the warmth of a coffee cup, the quiet of morning, the unexpected strength to face another day.Through personal reflection and Scripture, Jay explores how remembering God’s goodness helps us gather the pieces of our hearts again, and how God faithfully meets us in that gathering.If this Thanksgiving feels heavy or complicated, this episode will help you find one simple, honest thing to thank Him for — and rediscover hope in the middle of brokenness.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In this episode, Jay dives into a phrase almost every grieving heart knows too well: “Here we go again.”That moment when a fresh wave of grief hits, when old wounds reopen, or when the weight of loss resurfaces just when you thought you were finally steady.Jay explores why grief often repeats itself, why the waves keep coming, and how exhausting it can feel to relive the same emotional ground. He shares candidly about his own struggle with these moments—and the subtle anxiety, self-doubt, and restlessness they bring.But this episode doesn’t stay in the heaviness.Jay offers a new perspective: not fighting the wave but learning to ride it back toward God’s presence. He shares a deeply personal prayer that came from a quiet moment with ABBA—an invitation into stillness, surrender, and restoration.If you’re walking through a season of repetitive waves, this episode will remind you that God meets us in the quiet places we cannot create on our own… and that His goodness remains true even when grief circles back.Tune in to Episode 45: “Here We Go Again.”Here’s the prayer I mentioned:Father,I give myself over to your quiet.My quiet isn’t still enough. It’s too loud, too noisy, too busy.Too much about me.In your quiet there is peace.Rescue… rest… restoration.So, I consecrate my thoughts, emotions, ideas, plans, all thatmy mind, heart and soul are consumed with. I surrender all my agendas, strategies, motivations, attitudes and my will to you.I give you all my concerns, worries, doubts, fears and disappointments.I hold nothing back.I will be still my King, and I enter your quiet with gratitude.Thank you for the invitation!AmenFind out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

What happens when the foundation you’ve built your life on suddenly shifts? In this heartfelt episode, Jay Cookingham opens up about life after loss—about feeling “out of sync,” rebuilding identity, and finding new rhythms when the old anchors are gone.Jay shares his personal journey through grief, the struggle of comparison, and the healing power of creativity and faith. It’s an honest conversation about re-learning how to live, love, and trust in God’s goodness even in deep sorrow.If you’re navigating a season of loss or transition, this episode will remind you that hope, grace, and new beginnings are still possible.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

This episode explores what it really means to rediscover joy while still honoring loss. Jay shares about a recent men’s conference that reminded him of how universal grief is and how powerful it can be to talk about it honestly. As he reflects on nearly six years since Christine’s passing, Jay wrestles with tension, the sacred space where sorrow and joy coexist. Through scripture, stories, and honest confession, he invites listeners to see that grief and joy aren’t opposites, they’re companions. This episode is about learning to live again, to trust that joy can coexist with sorrow, and to find the courage to keep choosing life, gratitude, and God’s presence, one step at a time.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and help me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

After 41 episodes of walking through the valleys of grief and glimpses of grace, Jay takes a pause to look back.In this reflective episode, he unpacks the five recurring themes that have shaped his journey so far: love, God’s relentless goodness, lament, the companionship of joy and sorrow, and trust.Grief doesn’t stand still, it changes us. It refines, reshapes, and reminds us that even in loss, God continues to give. Through tears and truth, Jay shares what it means to keep moving forward, not away from grief, but deeper into grace.If you’ve ever wondered whether things can truly change after loss, this episode offers a quiet but powerful yes.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and help me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In Episode 41 of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham explores the question every grieving heart eventually faces: What’s next? Nearly six years after the loss of his bride, Jay reflects on how grief reshapes our story, challenges our faith, and invites us to keep moving forward with courage and trust. “What’s next” isn’t about getting over loss—it’s about integrating it into our lives, rediscovering purpose, and embracing the sacred act of releasing. With honesty, scripture, and practical insight, Jay shares how trust becomes the destination of grief and how God faithfully leads us into the next chapter of life.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and help me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In Episode 40 of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookinghamreflects on a surprising truth—grief doesn’t just take, it can also give back. While loss strips us down and reshapes our lives in ways we never asked for,grief can also become a strange kind of teacher, offering gifts of perspective, compassion, and a deeper awareness of God’s presence. Through the layers of pain, Jay shares how grief has confirmed God’s promises, reminded him of His goodness, and even restored a sense of self. This episode is about learning to see grief not only as a thief but also as a giver—pointing us toward hope, transformation, and trust in God’s faithfulness.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and help me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay wraps up the Four R’s of grief with the last rhythm: Rigorous – The Holy Work of Not Giving Up.Grief is relentless and often harsh but being rigorous doesn’t mean being harsh with yourself—it means being honest, consistent, and faithful in the hardest seasons. Jay shares how “holy persistence” has carried him through loss, what rigorous faith looks like in practice, and why worship is hope in action. This is the hard and holy work of staying connected to God, to life, and to love—even when nothing feels stable.

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay shares openly about navigating a difficult day of grief while leaning into the spiritual practice of repetition. He unpacks the power of “Truth Bombs”—statements of faith and identity that help reshape his perspective during loss. Jay shares his top three truths:• I am God’s son• I am not being punished• I can learn to love life againThese affirmations are more than words; they are lifelines that anchor him in God’s goodness and remind him that grief does not define him. With transparency and honesty, Jay invites listeners to discover their own “truth bombs” and experience the resilience that comes from speaking truth in love to themselves.

Grief can feel like an endless, exhausting dance you never signed up for. In this episode, Jay shares how “repeatable rhythms” have been his lifeline—small, intentional choices that keep hope alive, faith anchored, and joy within reach. From raw prayer and honest journaling to speaking truth, worship, and finding beauty, these rhythms don’t just fill the day—they shape the soul. Discover how one faithful step at a time can keep you moving forward, even when the weight of loss tries to pull you under.