Feminist Wellness

#345: Have you ever felt like you're watching your life from the outside? Like you're going through all the right motions, saying all the right things, but somehow feel disconnected from your own experience?I get it, and I've been there: checking all the boxes, looking successful on paper, while feeling completely lost inside. This disconnection from yourself isn't a personality flaw or something wrong with you - it's a brilliant survival strategy your nervous system developed to keep you safe.Join me this week as I share why I wrote my new book End Emotional Outsourcing and how it offers a revolutionary framework for understanding why so many of us feel trapped in patterns of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-abandonment. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/345Pre-order End Emotional Outsouring here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:EEO Pre-Sale Has Begun!For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

I’ve got two special surprises for you! Order 10+ copies of End Emotional Outsourcing and you’ll get a free seat in my six-week live course — plus a chance to win a full spot in Anchored. And if you’re in New York, join me on Sept 30th in Brooklyn for tacos, cocktails, connection, and the sweetest book party. Get your seat in the six week live course (and your raffle entry for a FULL spot in Anchored) here: https://beatrizalbina.com/10booksbonus/Get your ticket to the party here: beatrizalbina.com/pubparty

Have you ever found yourself lying awake at 3 AM, replaying conversations and wondering if you said the wrong thing? Or maybe you're that friend who can read a room in seconds, sensing every mood shift before anyone else notices? Here's the thing - that's not just being "super empathetic." It might be something deeper called emotional outsourcing.Your hypervigilance, your people-pleasing, your chronic anxiety about other people's moods - those are wonderful, amazing survival strategies that once kept little you safe, but are now keeping grown you small.This is exactly why I wrote my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits, to give you a roadmap back to your own inner knowing. Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

My love, I have something really special for you today: I’m sharing Chapter One of my upcoming book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This chapter unpacks what emotional outsourcing really is, how it sneaks into our lives, and why it’s not your fault you’ve been carrying these patterns. You’ll hear stories from my clients, my own journey, and the cultural forces that keep us stuck in self-abandonment... plus the first steps toward reclaiming your inherent worth.If you would like to read along, you can find chapter one at https://beatrizalbina.com/chapterone/Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today. Pre-orders make a huge difference in helping this message reach more people.

Do you ever wonder why you sometimes feel an inexplicable rage towards the people you love most? If you've ever agreed to take on more work when you're already drowning, pushed through exhaustion to help others, ignored your own needs to keep the peace, or found yourself inexplicably angry about small things, this episode is for you. Join me this week as I teach you the mathematical formula for resentment. You’ll learn the science behind why saying "yes" when you mean "no" creates emotional labor debt, what's actually happening in your nervous system when you override your own needs, and how to start breaking free from the resentment equation.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/344Mentioned in this episode:EEO Pre-Sale Has Begun!For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

Do you find yourself constantly dispensing kindness and helpfulness in exchange for validation and approval?This "good girl chokehold" is a survival strategy that rewires the brain, making you a professional people pleaser and preventing true intimacy. It's like being trapped in the world's most exhausting improv show where the only rule is "yes, and," except you never get to be anything but the supporting character in everyone else's story.In End Emotional Outsourcing, you'll learn how to break free from the exhausting cycle of earning love through depletion, plus practical tools for reclaiming your inherent worth. Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

#343: I receive beautiful messages from listeners telling me that being called "my angel" or "mi amor" transformed their entire week, maybe even the whole way they relate to themselves. Yet others write to express their discomfort. The language feels too familiar, unprofessional, even anti-feminist. This divide illuminates a crucial truth about healing: when genuine tenderness makes your skin crawl, your nervous system is telling you something important.Tune in this week to discover the neuroscience of how gentle language literally rewires our neural pathways, and why some of us recoil from warmth like it's sensory overload. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/343Mentioned in this episode:EEO Pre-Sale Has Begun!For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

You're lying in bed at 2 a.m., replaying that conversation from earlier where your joke fell flat or someone looked uncomfortable after you shared a story. Your brain grabs onto that moment like a dog with a bone, analyzing every word, every facial expression, every micro reaction like you're CSI social interaction. The mental hamster wheel spins: Did I say something wrong? Are they mad at me? Do they think I'm weird now?This is exactly the exhausting cycle I help you break in End Emotional Outsourcing. Start quieting that mental chatter today by pre-ordering.Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

#342: The word "codependent" is everywhere - on book covers (even mine), in therapy sessions, in conversations about relationships. But there's something fundamentally wrong with how we use this label. If you recognize yourself in patterns of people-pleasing, emotional caretaking, or losing yourself in other people's chaos, I want you to know something important: You're not broken. You're not diseased. And you're definitely not codependent. What you are is brilliantly adaptive.Join me this week as I share why I'm moving away from the term "codependent" and offer a new framework that honors your nervous system's intelligence while creating space for growth. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/342Mentioned in this episode:EEO Pre-Sale Has Begun!For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

You can spot when someone's being lousy to other people from 3 miles away. You're like an emotional bloodhound who knows when your friend is lying, when your coworker is stressed, when your mom is about to lose it. But when someone hurts you, you suddenly need a jury of 12 of your peers to confirm that what just happened was actually messed up and maybe it's okay for you to be hurt.This habit of emotional outsourcing at its most painful means you're literally giving away your right to trust your own experience and handing it over to the person who hurt you, random friends, or the internet.This is such a crucial part of what I teach in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing. In the book, you'll learn about the nervous system science behind why you doubt yourself, plus, of course, somatic body-based practices to help you reconnect with your body's wisdom.Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

#341: If you've ever found yourself constantly scanning other people's faces for approval, shapeshifting to keep the peace, or feeling completely disconnected from what you actually want, this episode is for you. You might call this people-pleasing or being too sensitive, but something much more profound is going on here: you’re living with emotional outsourcing.Tune in this week as I explain how emotional outsourcing gets stored in your body as a procedural memory - not just a thought you can talk yourself out of. You'll learn how this adaptation develops early, gets reinforced by cultural systems, and shows up in your body.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/341Mentioned in this episode:EEO Pre-Sale Has Begun!For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

Your value isn't in your productivity. That uncomfortable feeling when you stop moving, stop doing, stop managing everyone else's life? That's not laziness talking. It's the voice of a nervous system that learned early on that being needed equals being safe. Your actual people want you to rest. They want you to have needs, wants, preferences. They want to take care of you sometimes too. And all of this is exactly what I break down in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing.Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

#340: Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I'm fine,’’ when you're actually anything but fine? Maybe you're getting everything done - crushing it at work, maintaining relationships, keeping up appearances - but feeling disconnected from it all. Like you're watching your life play out from behind a glass wall. This isn't just you being "too in your head" or "not trying hard enough to feel." This is your nervous system's brilliant (but outdated) protection mechanism called functional freeze. Join me today as I revisit functional freeze: the nervous system state I see most often in people living with emotional outsourcing patterns. We’ll explore what functional freeze really is and why it's not your fault, how to recognize when you're in it, and why understanding this pattern is the first step to breaking free.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/340Mentioned in this episode:EEO Pre-Sale Has Begun!For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

This bonus episode explores how childhood messages about being "too much" create lifelong patterns of self-shrinking that affect every area of your life. When you spend years making yourself smaller to fit other people's comfort levels, you lose track of where you end and their expectations begin.But what if I told you that's a lie? What if I told you that the right people are starving for your realness? What if I told you that your "too much" is actually someone else's "just right?" What if you're not too much at all? What if you've just been around people who are too small for your bigness?This is exactly why I wrote End Emotional Outsourcing, to help you stop apologizing for who you are and start celebrating your fullest self.Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

#339: You were doing the best you could with what you knew at the time. That's the truth that so many of us struggle to accept when we look back at our past decisions - the relationships we stayed in too long, the boundaries we didn't set, the times we said yes when we meant no. There's this part of us that believes if we're mean enough to ourselves about these choices, we won't make them again. But here's what science tells us: beating yourself up doesn't create change. This episode explores why compassion for your past self is essential for creating real, lasting change. Listen in today to discover how hating who you used to be blocks growth, and why being kind to your past self isn't about excusing behaviors or pretending everything was perfect.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/339Mentioned in this episode:EEO Pre-Sale Has Begun!For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

There's this bone-deep fatigue that seeps into you when you've been performing yourself for everyone else instead of living your life for you. It's different from being tired after a busy day. It's the exhaustion that comes from constantly calculating what version of yourself the room needs. Meanwhile, real love doesn't require a costume. No tap dancing required for real, true, authentic, grounded, open-hearted love, love, love. That's what my book, End Emotional Outsourcing, is all about: helping you take off the mask and discover that this big, messy world needs the real you, not the performing you. And I cannot wait to share my new book with you, where I'll teach you all about it.Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

#338: Shame is one of the most powerful forces keeping us stuck in emotional outsourcing, and we don’t talk about it nearly enough. This invisible force runs so deep that we often don't even realize it's guiding our thoughts, feelings, and actions.My book, End Emotional Outsourcing was born from my search for a shame-free, inclusive, feminist framework to name these patterns, and to begin healing them. If you’ve ever felt like your habits made you broken or unworthy, this conversation is for you.Join me this week as I explore the complex relationship between shame, the nervous system, and emotional outsourcing - three interconnected forces that keep us locked in patterns of codependency, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/338Mentioned in this episode:EEO Pre-Sale Has Begun!For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

Ever have that moment where you realize you've been living your entire life for everyone else? You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’ve just been emotionally outsourcing.In this book series bonus, I name the pattern, share why it develops, and explain how it shapes everything from your relationships to your sense of self. And I’ll tell you how my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing, can help you start coming home to yourself - no longer orbiting everyone else’s needs, but finally living for you.Pre-order the book now at victoriaalbina.com/book and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

It's my birthday month, and I'm doing what any Leo Somatics nerd with a microphone and a brand new book would do. I'm giving you the gifts. If you pre-order End Emotional Outsourcing by August 18th, 2025, you're automatically entered to win a 30-minute, one-on-one coaching session with moi, not publicly available. Bring your most tangled thought habits, your most scrunched up somatics. Or, a 90-minute breathwork session to help you feel like yourself again, in your body and your spirit, not just your brain. Go to beatrizalbina.com/birthday for the details and to get in on the magic.Mentioned in this episode:EEO Pre-Sale Has Begun!For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

#337: Money shapes more than just our bank accounts - it touches how we show up in relationships, how we value ourselves, and whether we feel secure enough to set boundaries with those who support us financially.This week, I sit down with financial therapist and author of Feel-Good Finance: Untangle Your Relationship with Money for Better Mental, Emotional, and Financial Well-Being, Aja Evans, to explore the intersection of money and mental health, particularly how codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits show up in our financial lives. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/337Mentioned in this episode:EEO Pre-Sale Has Begun!For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book