Dysfunctional

Jolene Ironside is a trauma therapist specialising in teenagers and neurodiversity, a somatic mind-body coach, yoga teacher, and holistic therapist.In this conversation, we talk about what happens when you grow up around addiction, how perfectionism can be a survival strategy, and why “understanding it” isn’t the same as actually feeling it.We get into suicide and addiction with honesty (and a lot of love), the limits of talk therapy, and what it looks like to come back into your body after years of living in your head.We also talk neurodiversity, diagnosis, and why the system often labels people as “disordered” instead of simply giving them what they need.If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the healing things but still not actually here… this one will land.Find Jolene - https://www.heart-in-mind.com/about Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

n this episode of Dysfunctional, Josh Connolly is joined by Ian Stringer and Scott Murdoch to talk about Chasing Yesterday Marathons a powerful endurance challenge raising money and awareness for NACOA (National Association for Children of Alcoholics).We unpack what it’s like growing up with an alcoholic parent, the silence and shame that keeps families stuck, and why children of alcoholics often feel like they’re the problem. Ian shares the devastating story of losing his mum to alcoholism. Scott shares his journey from chaos to purpose, and the urgent need to get support into schools.We also explain the challenge: running a marathon in Samoa, then flying across the International Date Line to run another marathon “yesterday” in American Samoa all within 24 hours.👇 Donate / Sponsor / Support NACOA https://www.justgiving.com/page/chasingyesterdaymarathons?utm_medium=FR&utm_source=CLhttps://nacoa.org.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Dysfunctional I’m joined by Kate King, author of Mend or Move On.We talk about the question so many people live inside for years: should I stay and try to repair this relationship, or should I move on and finally choose myself?In this episode we get into:Why “mending” gets glorified and “moving on” gets shamedThe 3 signs a relationship is genuinely toxic (not just difficult)Why leaving is rarely the “easy option” and what can escalate after you goNervous system truth: you can’t regulate in an unsafe environmentNeeds vs “needy”, reciprocity, and reclaiming autonomyKate’s book Mend or Move On is out now - https://a.co/d/3igvgLz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Josh is joined by Karl Melvin to unpack the recent Beckham estrangement headlines, Oprah’s conversation on family estrangement, and why this topic provokes such strong reactions. Together, they explore abuse, validation, projection, and what actually helps when families break down — especially when children and parenting are part of the picture.To sign up to the event secure your spot here - https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/parenting-through-estrangement-tickets-1979401930458?aff=oddtdtcreatorFind out about Karl here - https://www.karlmelvin.com#beckham #estrangement  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this solo episode of Dysfunctional, I walk through the six chapters of the Inner You process and share why this work has been so important in my own healing.We talk about intention, self-compassion, meeting the different versions of yourself, healing relationships, and what inner child work actually looks like in real life.This is an honest, grounded conversation about integration, emotional safety, and learning to come home to yourself.If you’ve ever felt disconnected, reactive, or unsure why certain things hit you so hard, this episode is for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I’m joined by Elaine Baxter, a breathwork facilitator who’s been through the full arc of modern wellness, from fixing and performing, to actually holding space in a way that’s real.We talk about ditching the “spiritual costume” and why so much of the healing industry rewards masks over authenticity. Elaine shares how breathwork helped her reconnect with feeling after years of numbness, grief, people-pleasing, and trying to hold everything together.We explore what trauma-informed actually looks like in practice, the difference between fixing and holding, and why safety, honesty, and grounded language matter more than aesthetics, labels, or vibes.This conversation is for anyone who wants deep work without the performance, and real healing without having to become someone they’re not.Elaine is a Breathwork Facilitator who has supported people in processing emotions through the breath since 2020 and is a qualified Inner You Breathwork Facilitator. At the heart of Elaine’s practice is a commitment to creating a safe, compassionate, and non-judgemental space, where people are met without pressure to change and genuine healing can naturally unfold.https://www.instagram.com/rebalance_with_elainehttps://misneachcentre.ie/allied-health-professionals/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Leaving an abusive relationship doesn’t always mean the abuse stops.In this episode, Josh speaks with Miranda Allen, an ambassador for Mums in Need, about post-separation abuse and how control continues through courts, finances, smear campaigns, and children. Miranda shares her lived experience and why believing survivors matters more than ever.Learn more or support the work of Mums in Need:👉 https://mumsinneed.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Dysfunctional, I’m joined by relationship recovery coach Jo Westwood for a deep, honest conversation about toxic relationships, codependency, and what real self-worth actually sounds like in practice.We talk about love bombing and how to spot it early, the moment “the switch” happens after commitment, and why being nice, polite, or endlessly understanding can quietly turn into self-abandonment.We also unpack why so many people rush to defend power, fame, and parents at all costs, using the viral Anthony Hopkins estrangement clip as a real-world example of how society struggles with accountability, family loyalty myths, and reading the energy behind someone’s words.This is a conversation about slowing down, trusting your instincts, and learning to say:“You don’t know me well enough yet.”And meaning it.We explore:The difference between love bombing and genuine connectionWhy codependent people can be manipulative without meaning to beThe “special one” fantasy and how it keeps people stuckWhy healthy relationships can handle a slow startEstrangement, boundaries, and the myth of unconditional family loyaltyPoliteness vs kindness, and why people-pleasing pushes people awayWhy abusive people don’t cut you off, and why survivors often have toThis episode isn’t about blame, cancel culture, or perfect healing.It’s about self-reflection, personal responsibility, and building relationships that don’t require you to disappear to keep the peace.If you’ve ever felt confused, drained, or like you keep ending up in the same painful dynamics, this one’s for you.Find Jo:Website: http://jowestwood.comIG: http://instagram.com/jowestwoodThe Anti People Pleasing Podcast link: Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-anti-people-pleasing-podcast/id1576679526Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4av63LLVwYNt8MNMu8YgarAudible: https://www.audible.co.uk/podcast/The-Anti-People-Pleasing-Podcast/B08K61YDSF Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alex Williams was eight years old when his mum was murdered by his stepfather.In this episode, Alex shares what it’s really like to grow up after extreme trauma, how it shaped his nervous system, identity, and relationships, and why “healing” is often misunderstood.Alex is an NHS mental health practitioner with over 20 years of experience and a suicide and self-harm prevention trainer. He brings both lived experience and frontline insight into what actually helps people after childhood trauma, and what doesn’t.We talk about:Growing up after domestic abuse and parental homicideWhy safety matters more than therapy in the early stages of traumaThe long-term impact of unprocessed grief in childhoodCompassion fatigue in mental health and helping professionsWhy forgiveness is not required for healingHow the mental health system labels people instead of holding themPhone addiction, numbing, and modern forms of escapeMeaning, survival, and choosing a life after traumaThis is a raw, honest conversation about loss, resilience, and what it means to live a good life after something unimaginable.If you grew up in dysfunction, abuse, or emotional neglect, this episode will likely resonate.Find Alex here - https//instagram.com/thealexjwilliamshttps//tiktok.com/thealexjwilliamshttps//www.linkedin.com/thealexjwilliams Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trauma doesn’t just live in your head. It can shut down your voice too. Vocal coach Claire Delaney joins me to talk C-PTSD, nervous system survival, toxic industry culture, and finding your voice again."Claire is a vocal coach who works with singers and actors whose voices have to hold up under real-world pressure. She’s coached performers across the West End, Broadway, and the National Theatre, and has worked for Italia Conti and ITV’s Mamma Mia: I Have a Dream. Her approach is trauma-aware and shaped by the belief that you can’t separate a voice from the person using it. Her work blends science, psychology, and practical technique, with a lens shaped by lived-experience. She helps performers rebuild the physical, emotional, and technical foundations of their voice, aiming for long-term reliability, confidence, and self-trust to make singing actually enjoyable again."Instagram: @clairedelaney.vocalcoach Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I’m joined by Jared Shurin, a strategic communications specialist who works in counter extremism, violent radicalisation, misinformation, and social cohesion. We dig into the psychology of people who reach the point of extreme violence, why it often starts with the loss of trust, hope and faith, and how communication can pull people back from the edge.We talk about:How people become vulnerable to radicalisationThe link between extremism, suicidality, and hopelessnessWhy most people sit in the exhausted moderate middleThe role of belonging, community, and agency in preventionHow governments, NGOs and everyday people can reduce social harmWhat actually works when trying to talk someone down from violent thinkingThis episode explores the real human drivers behind extremism, how isolation fuels dangerous behaviour, and why rebuilding local community may be our best defence.Find Jared - https://extra-fox.com/newsletter - https://raptorvelocity.beehiiv.com/https://www.instagram.com/straycarnivore/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if those moments where you’re convinced you’re a horrible person who “shouldn’t even be here” aren’t proof that you’re broken… but that you’re in what my guest calls a shame storm?In this episode I’m joined by Melinda Delisle, MS LCCE – clinical nutritionist, former childbirth educator, and someone who has spent years navigating intense emotional dysregulation herself. We talk honestly about what it actually feels like inside a shame storm, why some of the most popular “healing tools” can make it worse, and how food, supplements and nervous system health quietly drive so much of our emotional world.We get into:- The difference between a shame swamp, a shame spiral and a full-blown shame storm- Why gratitude lists, mindfulness and “just be present” advice can feel like gaslighting when you’re in survival mode- How trauma, high sensitivity and people-pleasing set us up for chronic hypervigilance - The link between nutrition, B vitamins, SSRIs and emotional dysregulation-- Mistaking familiarity for safety – and why so many of us feel unsafe even with “nice” people- Self-parenting, accountability and facing the ways our own dysregulation can make us the “toxic” one at homeMelinda also shares a free upcoming 4-week program she’s creating to help people build awareness, have better conversations around triggers and start finding their way out of constant dysregulation.Substack: https://melindadelisle.substack.com/Free 4-week program: https://melindadelisle.com/foundation/ Instagram: @melindadelisleLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melinda-delisle/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Children with a parent in prison are some of the most invisible kids in the country. In this episode, I sit down with Sarah (founder of charity Children Heard and Seen) and Felix (communications officer) to talk about what really happens to those children when a parent goes to prison, and why nobody is officially keeping track of them.We talk about:How Children Heard and Seen supports kids in the community with mentoring, groups and one to one supportThe shocking reality of children left completely alone at home when a parent is sent to prisonWhy there is no national data on which children have a parent in prisonThe role of media, stigma and vigilante attacks on already vulnerable familiesWhy support must be child led, not focused on “fixing” the parent or forcing contactThe first ever Children with a Parent in Prison Day (25th November) and the national conferenceIf this episode moved you, please share it, talk about it with someone, and check out Children Heard and Seen to see how you can support or spread the word.Link to the conference:https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/hear-me-see-me-parental-imprisonment-lived-experience-conference-tickets-1700692921309?aff=oddtdtcreatorLink to our website: https://childrenheardandseen.co.uk/Lived Experience Blogs written by adults who had a parent in prison as a child:https://childrenheardandseen.co.uk/hidden-voices/#parentalimprisonment Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Unbelievably, it has been 1 year since Dysfunctional began so I take a look back over the highs and lows Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Josh talks about:Why the phrase “toxic person” makes some people more uncomfortable than abuse itselfThe difference between “people doing toxic things” and people who are mostly harmfulHow spiritual bypassing and “it’s all trauma” language can erase accountabilityWhy victims get to choose the language for what happened to themEmpathy with no boundaries and why it’s self-destructiveHealthy shame vs toxic shameWhy it’s okay to walk away and even hate someone who hurt you#toxicpeople Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Maike is the author of The Confession: A Journey to Acceptance, her memoir of growing up with a father with undiagnosed mental health issues who went on to take his own life. She is a lived experience speaker and volunteer for Survivors of Bereavement by suicide When Maike Mullenders was eleven years old, her dad sat her down and told her he was going to end his life — and made her say goodbye.He survived that night. But ten years later, he died by suicide and left behind a confession to the police saying he’d “been inappropriate” with her — something Maike had no memory of.In this conversation, we talk about what happens when your childhood forces you into the role of caretaker, and how that shapes everything that follows. We explore dissociation, survival, and what it means to grow up reading every tone of voice in a room just to stay safe.Maike shares how decades of therapy, yoga, and community work helped her reclaim her body, her boundaries, and her right to take up space — even without ever knowing the full truth about her past.We talk about:Surviving a parent’s suicide attempts and living with the aftermathThe lifelong impact of emotional enmeshment and hypervigilanceParenting after trauma and breaking generational patternsAcceptance versus forgiveness — and why you don’t need bothLearning to feel safe in your body through movement and presenceThe healing power of community and self-compassionThis episode is about what real healing looks like — messy, nuanced, and deeply human.It’s about learning to live with not knowing, and finding peace anyway.Please take care of yourself while listening.Find Maike here - https://www.linkedin.com/in/maike-mullenders-3021232b7/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100091853840552#suicideawareness #mentalhealth Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We call it “mental health,” but what if the real diagnosis is a sick system? Wellness anthropologist Aurora Leigh joins Josh to argue that disconnection — not individual defect — sits under our crises of addiction, anxiety, and depression. We dig into stoicism as emotional shutdown, the trap of pathologizing pain, and how somatic, community-based healing outperforms label-and-medicate approaches.Expect Rat Park, the Roseto effect, sexual trauma as an ignored root cause, and Aurora’s “Somatic Regeneration” blueprint for moving the nervous system from survival to open, curious, connected. We finish with practical tools listeners can use today — and a challenge to rebuild policy, schools, and healthcare around safety, love, and belonging.Find out more about Auroara here - https://www.skool.com/simply-sacred-wauroara-leigh-2570/about?ref=9e5561a6facc4f2586229fc89b4fbee6www.simplysacred.ca https://youtube.com/@auroaraleigh?si=Xl7bT3OHHHEyy3s-#mentalhealth Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode includes candid references to suicide, depression and self-harm.It’s just been World Mental Health Day. I’m asking a hard question with no easy answers. Is the mental health conversation helping… or are there places it’s making us worse?I talk about the tension between compassion and consequence. The risk of romanticising suffering when public figures die. How awareness can accidentally normalise behaviours. Princess Diana speaking about bulimia and what followed. The pathologisation of being human. My own swings, labels I once clung to, and what it takes to pull myself out of a spiral without shaming the struggle.This isn’t anti-awareness. It’s a call to evolve it. Less performance. More truth. Fewer labels as identity. More community and responsibility. Let’s bring the pendulum back to the middle.In this episodeThe double-edged sword of public compassion after tragedyWhen “normalising” crosses into normalising the thing itselfLabels, identity loops and the algorithm effectAppropriate pain vs “mental health” languageFinding the line between care and a loving push to moveIf you’re strugglingPlease reach out to someone you trust. You can also contact crisis support in your country (e.g. Samaritans in the UK, CALM, or your local emergency services). You don’t have to carry it alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this solo episode of Dysfunctional, Josh asks a raw question:Is the world actually worse, or are we just being fed constant content that keeps us triggered?As a highly sensitive person, Josh reflects on how algorithms exploit empathy, why stress has become a hidden addiction, and how our compassion is being stretched to breaking point. He dives into the danger of compassion fatigue, the blurred line between activism and doomscrolling, and why protecting your nervous system matters more than ever.This is a conversation for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the state of the world — and who needs reminding that caring doesn’t mean carrying everything.#highlysensitiveperson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Old friends. Real talk. A mini 115 Miles reunion.Hasan Khair joins me to unpack why work feels like a moving target and what to do when the ladder you were climbing gets ripped from the wall. We get into how school trained us for compliance, how hyper capitalism rewards harm, and why AI is speeding up a reckoning in every industry.This is not doom. It is a plan. We get practical about midlife pivots, redundancy, belief, and the tiny actions that rebuild confidence. If you feel stuck, dehumanised by job boards, or scared to start again, this one will help.In this episodeThe real shift in work since 2008 and why restructures never stopAI and automation. Why senior roles are getting cut firstSchool as a factory model. How it kills agency and creativityConfidence and class. The advantage of environmentHasan’s story. Failing A-levels, Blockbuster, Virgin, executive roles, redundancy, reinventionPanic vs purpose. How to pause and design a different pathIkigai without the fluff. What you love. What you’re good at. What the world needsNano steps. Not grand gesturesWhy community multiplies beliefHasan - https://www.linkedin.com/in/hasankhair/Tyllr - https://tyllr.co Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.