The Raw Mumcast

When I was pregnant, I had a plan. It was color-coded, cross-referenced, and carefully mapped out: at three months postpartum, I would return to work. I would launch programs. I would coach again. The maiden in me was determined to survive motherhood. None of it happened. What followed instead was a freefall — into postpartum, into identity death, into sleepless nights, illness, grief, shattered boundaries, and a nervous system stuck in survival. The first year of motherhood felt less like an arrival and more like an underworld descent. In this episode, I share my motHERstory — not as a success narrative, but as an initiation. I speak about: The shock of matrescence and the lack of language for it The shame of “knowing better” and still falling apart The difference between loving your child and surviving motherhood The good girl who needed control — and the wild woman who waited beneath her How giving birth became my wolf cry And how only years later I can see the immense power that was carrying me all along This conversation weaves together my postpartum journey, my relationship with my mother and maternal lineage, the stories we inherit without consent, and the tools that helped me remember myself — including Human Design, gentle embodiment practices, and being witnessed by other mothers. Motherhood softened my grip on control. It brought me closer to my wildness. It taught me that power doesn’t roar — sometimes it undercurrents. This episode also marks the birth of motHERstory — an online space for mothers who feel the pull to understand their story more deeply. Not to fix it. Not to optimise it. But to witness it, honour it, and consciously shape what comes next. Motherhood is not something we perform. It’s something we live. And every mother carries a story worth remembering. Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

In this episode, I’m sitting down with my friend Lubna — an architect by training, and a mentor, witnesser, and guide for mothers by calling.We talk about lineage and inheritance — what it means for her to mother as a woman who is both Lebanese and Venezuelan, and how cultural roots live on in the body, in birth, and in the way we care for our children.Our conversation weaves through matrescence as art, sensuality in mothering, and the forgotten rites of passage around birth and death. Lubna shares how both the loss of her grandmother and her own birth experiences became awakenings — initiations into deeper womanhood.We speak honestly about the joy and the grief of motherhood, about why mothers need to be witnessed, and how much is lost when we rush women through these profound transitions without community or ritual.This is not a how-to conversation. It’s a remembering. Of motherhood as creative, sensual, ancestral, and alive — and of women as carriers of wisdom, not martyrs.Connect with Lubna on Instagram @mammalubi Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

In this heartfelt solo episode, I share an honest reflection on a truth many mothers quietly carry: mothering is a huge part of who I am, but it’s not all of me.I speak to the tension between loving my child deeply and still craving creativity, purpose, and expression beyond mothering. It’s not about shame or guilt, but the permission to be both: fully devoted and still desiring.Through my Human Design lens, I explore how  energy is naturally oriented toward serving the collective, how I'm wired to share, teach, and contribute to the wider world — while also deeply honouring mothering as a sacred act of service in itself. I reflect on how mothering shapes the collective, and how being of service beyond the family circle doesn’t diminish mothering, but expands it.This episode is a love letter to the and — to the women who mother, create, dream, and serve all at once.You’ll hear reflections on:Why wanting “something more” beyond mothering isn’t a betrayal but a birthrightHow cultural conditioning fuels guilt and shame for mothers who want moreThe sacred service of mothering as a contribution to the collectiveThe distinction between tribal energy (family, belonging, closeness) and collective energy (teaching, sharing, serving the wider whole)How honouring your energetic nature makes mothering more alive, authentic, and sustainable Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend Nour Baghdadi (@lamedicinasagrada), who works with German New Medicine (GNM) — a body of knowledge that offers a completely different way of understanding illness, symptoms, and healing.Together, we talk about what it really means to mother beyond fear — not by trying to be fearless, but by learning to trust the body’s natural intelligence, to see symptoms not as enemies, but as messages, and to reclaim a deeper sense of calm and sovereignty in how we respond to our children’s needs.We explore German New Medicine as a way of seeing health and symptoms through a new lens — one that helps mothers respond to their children’s needs with calm, confidence, and connection, instead of panic.This conversation isn’t about rejecting medicine or striving to be fearless. They both have a role and can protects us. But when they take over, they disconnect us from our intuition. This conversation is about softening fear and reclaiming trust in nature’s design, so we can feel more grounded, capable, and sovereign in our choices as mothers.Connect with NourYou can find her on Instagram at @lamedicinasagrada Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

In this episode, I’m calling BS on the endless stream of motherhood advice that leaves so many of us feeling disconnected, second-guessing ourselves, and spiralling into comparison. From Instagram reels to parenting books to unsolicited playground commentary, the noise is loud—and it’s exhausting.I’m sharing why most of this advice isn’t designed for you, and how Human Design offers a radically different way to mother: one that’s rooted in self-trust, energy alignment, and your unique way of being. When you start tuning out the “shoulds” and tune into your actual blueprint, things begin to shift. You stop performing and start mothering from a place of deep knowing.This is your permission slip to mother like you. With clarity. With rest. With insight instead of overload. The best mothering advice is to stop taking so much advice - you already know, mama, Human Design just helps you hear it. Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

In this heart-opening conversation with my dear friend Blanka, we explore how motherhood becomes the portal to deep generational healing, especially through the lens of Family Constellations. Together, we reflect on the ways our children act as mirrors—revealing the unspoken stories, wounds, and patterns we carry from our lineage.We speak to the power of bringing what’s hidden into the light, the role of the mother as both healer and space holder, and how Family Constellations can help us untangle the inherited threads that no longer serve us or our children. If you’ve felt the pull to understand your family system on a deeper level—or to break cycles with more compassion—this episode is your invitation.Loved this episode?Leave a review or share it on Instagram and tag me! I’d love to hear what resonated most for you.Thank you,Annamaria, xxABOUT BLANKA:Website: Family Constellation and Conscious Parenting Coaching - Awarenest Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

In this heartfelt solo episode, I open up about why I took a break from the podcast, the guilt that came with stepping away, and what it’s taken to return in a way that honors my truth. I share how I’m learning to embrace the messy middle of motherhood and coaching—where things don’t feel polished, but they are real. I talk about starting over, listening to my sacral authority, and rebuilding my relationship with joy, pleasure, and my body. This is a permission slip for anyone navigating their own in-between to slow down, tune in, and trust their own rhythm.Loved this episode?Leave a review or share it on Instagram and tag me! I’d love to hear what resonated most for you.Thank you,Annamaria, xx Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

This episode is all about redefining pleasure the way it feels good to us in the messy middle of mothering - not how patriarchy has been allowing us, women and mothers to experience it.I’m joined by my hilarious, wise, and wonderfully unhinged friend Kim - fellow mama, coach, and creator of a super juicy new program, The Pleasure Portal that’s all about helping women find their way back to themselves and their pleasure after motherhood shakes everything up.We talk about all the things from the messy in-between to reclaiming our energy, boundaries, and pleasure (or lack thereof). It’s raw, real, probably a little inappropriate, and full of truth. Just how we like it.Ready to go deeper?If today’s episode resonated with you and you'd love to join The Pleasure Portal you can do so by clicking ⁠HERE⁠Follow Kim on Instagram - ⁠@embodimentbykim⁠Loved this episode?Leave a review or share it on Instagram and tag me! I’d love to hear what resonated most for you.Thank you,Annamaria, xxLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - ⁠Mothering Through Human Design⁠On Instagram - ⁠@annamariapapayova⁠My website - ⁠www.fabwmn.com⁠ Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

Motherhood changes everything—but what about the version of you that’s left hanging in the in-between? The part of you that feels lost, disconnected, and not quite like yourself anymore? That’s the messy middle—the raw, uncomfortable space between who you were and who you’re becoming (I'm still in it, too).In this episode, I’m diving deep into how your Human Design can help you navigate this messy middle with more ease and self-trust. We’ll talk about:• Why traditional self-care and parenting advice often don’t work.• How understanding your Human Design type can help you make decisions, care for yourself, and mother in alignment.• Practical shifts you can make to feel less burnt out and more like you.If you’re feeling like you’ve lost yourself in motherhood, this episode is a permission slip to pause, listen to your body, and find a new rhythm that actually works for you.Ready to go deeper?If today’s episode resonated with you and you’re craving personalized support to navigate your own messy middle, I’d love to invite you into my 1:1 coaching program. Together, we’ll look at your Human Design, unpick the conditioning that’s kept you stuck, and help you find a rhythm of mothering, working, and living that actually feels good. Book your free connection call hereLoved this episode?Leave a review or share it on Instagram and tag me! I’d love to hear what resonated most for you.Thank you,Annamaria, xx Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

Being a good girl is exhausting. Being a perfect mother is soul-crushing.In this episode, I’m pulling apart the deeply ingrained good girl conditioning and how it sets us up for the impossible standards of the perfect mother myth. We’ll explore:The good girl narrative and its grip on motheringA heartfelt letter from a recovering good girl (yes, that’s me)Why the perfect mother doesn’t exist—and never didHow we can redefine goodness on our own termsIf you’ve ever felt the pressure to get it all right, to be selfless, to hold it all together at the expense of yourself—this one’s for you. Take what you need, leave the rest, and know that you are already enough.With love,Annamaria xx Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

Listen to my audio journal – the first week of my postpartum experience. I kept an audio journal for the first 40 days after giving birth. I was mostly recording with Leo lying on me and nursing, holding my phone in awkward positions, but I wanted to keep these memories as fresh and raw as possible for later reflections. There is so much we don’t talk about, we don’t share when it comes to postpartum. The vulnerability of this episode, the rawness of my audio journal might offer you some insight into the reality of it (disclaimer: it was my reality, yours might be very different), or maybe it can make you feel seen and acknowledged.Some of the themes you will hear:A new realityNavigating hospital life with a newbornThe chaotic first days and challenges of postpartumCoping with exhaustion and desperationEmotional turmoil, guilt and lonelinessSurrendering expectations and embracing realityFinding joy amidst anxietyI trust that you take whatever is meant for you from this episode.Love, Annamaria, xx Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

This episode is an invitation to play with the idea of  “what if new year does not equal new you”? What if you didn’t have to become someone new? What if you were already enough? What if you were already YOU (perhaps wearing some extra layers that don’t belong to you)?I am sharing about the guilt, shame and not enoughness that many years of resolution setting and then failed execution brought into my life. I’m also talking about what I do instead when calendar years are changing and how I use Human Design and natural cycles to create and navigate my life.Some of the themes you’ll hear in this episode are:Embracing the New Year without pressureChallenging the “New year, new you” narrativeThe importance of self acceptanceCycles of growth: nature vs calendar yearSetting intentions: a flexible approachEmbrace your seasonsGrowth, healing, expansion are all cyclical. Life itself is cyclical, we humans are cyclical too. The whole fucking universe is cyclical.Shedding layers of who we are not meant to be is not bound to 1st of January or a calendar year that is actually just a social contract. I trust that you will find something in this episode you can play with for yourself. Thank you so much for listening.Love, Annamaria, xx Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

Oh, the stress that can come with the holidays and our (many times unrealistic) expectations of how much we need/should/must/have to do!In this episode I share my to-do list managing practise that has helped me throughout the years and not just around the holidays. I also give a tip to each Human Design energy type to survive Xmas gatherings.Some of the themes you will hear:Understanding the pressure of holiday expectationsCreating and managing your holiday to-do listDelegating tasks and asking for helpPrioritizing and enjoying the processManaging pressure and expectationsNavigating social gatherings through the lens of Human DesignI trust that you will find something for yourself to take away and play with.Lots of love,Annamaria, xx Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

After giving birth to my son at home (in the middle of the living room), I had to make a hard decision - to transfer or not to transfer to the hospital. This episode is about that decision and all the emotions that flooded me - the guilt, the shame, the grief and the feeling of failure.This is also the beginning of not only having my son Earth side, but also learning to cultivate more compassion for myself (which is still in progress).In this episode you'll find themes like:The Arrival of LeoThe Birth Experience & Decisions MadeThe Beauty of the PlacentaThe Hospital Transfer & GuiltReflections of Control & GriefThe Impact of Online Birth NarrativesSelf Compassion & HealingThe Hospital Experience & New BeginningIt's an emotional story but even by recording it so much has shifted within. I trust that you will listen to it with your heart open and warm.Lots of love,Annamaria, xx  Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

This episode is all about giving birth - from the moment I started to feel sensations, through the waves, the pain, the fears, the highs and lows to the point of my baby arriving Earth side. Going through labour and giving birth to my son and to myself as a mother has been the most intense experience of my life so far.Birth asked all of me and more.It got me onto my knees, broke me into half and when I thought there’s no deeper, there’s no further it cracked me open in places to find out that there was yet another path to explore.It showed me my insecurities, my Good girl stories and my biggest fears.It also showed me my power, my strength and how incredibly wise my body is. I mean beyond comprehension.This is my story in its rawness, in its primal simplicity, and in its ability to connect dimensions and worlds together that are invisible to the naked eye.Please rate, review and share my podcast so that we can normalise motherhood together and empower each other to feel good enough - in motherhood and beyond.Love,Annamaria, xxIN THIS EPISODE:00:00 The Journey of Labour Begins02:47 The Role of Support During Labour08:14 Navigating Pain and Fear11:02 The Power of Presence and Energy13:33 The Transition to Active Labour16:30 The Intensity of Pushing18:48 The Final Stages of Labour21:24 The Birth of LeoLET'S CONNECT:On Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comDownload my free ebook - Mothering Through Human Design Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

In this episode I share about how I prepped for a home birth with a doula and my husband . The research, the birth plans, the playlists, the vision boards - I'm talking about everything that helped me feel more empowered. Some of the themes you'll hear are:The Journey of Home Birth PreparationFacing Fears and Building SupportCreating a Vision for BirthReflections of the Birth ExperienceI loved this phase, it was full of anticipation and endless possibilities.Please let me know your thoughts about this episode - please leave a review, comment and share the Podcast with others.Thank you, lots of love,Annamaria, xxLET'S CONNECT:On Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comDownload my free ebook - Mothering Through Human DesignMy doula - Sadie Wild - www.sadiewildphotography.comSaima at Live Wild Birth Free - www.livewildbirthfree.com  Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn 

Welcome to The Raw Mumcast, the show about the wins and f*ckeries of motherhood and mothering with a dash of Human Design and a sprinkle of shadow work. Let's normalise motherhood, ditch the mum guilt and celebrate being good enough - in motherhood and beyond.I'm your host, Annamaria Papayova, and in this episode I'm sharing with you my vision for this show.The idea of this podcast came to me in a middle of a sleepless night as I was rocking my baby back to sleep while crying my heart out. It took me more than a year to get from that idea to this point of launching the show, and I am super excited to embark on this journey.I'm inviting you to join me every other Thursday for some raw, messy, funny and honest conversations.Lots of love to you,Annamaria, xxIN THIS EPISODE:00:00 Welcome to The Raw Mumcast02:53 The Journey of Motherhood06:12 Exploring Human Design and Shadow Work09:06 Creating a Community of SupportLET'S CONNECT:On Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comDownload my free ebook - Mothering Through Human Design Thank you for listening. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share—so we can keep normalizing the real, raw, and messy beauty of mothering together.Join motHERstory - the 6-week Human Design infused journey for both the mother and woman withinLET'S CONNECT:Grab your e-book - Mothering Through Human DesignOn Instagram - @annamariapapayovaMy website - www.fabwmn.comBook a Becoming Session - BECOMING | Fab Wmn