Self Centered™ with Katie and Allie

This week, we’re diving into the first three episodes of Netflix's newest season of Love Is Blind and using the chaos, chemistry, and confusion as a mirror.As we share our real-time reactions, we explore the difference between staying grounded in yourself and slowly drifting away from yourself in the name of connection. We talk about communication patterns, emotional regulation, attachment behaviors, and the subtle moments that reveal whether someone is dating from clarity or from fear.The episodes are messy. The dynamics are loud. And underneath it all, we found ourselves asking bigger questions. What do we normalize? What do we excuse? When does chemistry start to feel like self-abandonment? Some of it feels distant. Some of it hits uncomfortably close to home.Join us as we watch Love Is Blind unfold through the lens of the self-centered way by noticing what happens when people stay in their seat… and when they don’t.Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

After last episode’s heavy reflection on current events in the United States, Katie and Allie shift toward coping with the emotional weight of living in a divided country. They speak honestly about grief, anger, exhaustion, and the tension between hope and despair, while also stepping back to name the cultural and psychological dynamics at play, including patterns like the Drama Triangle, ego strength in our reactions, and what it takes to stay present when your world feels like it’s on fire.This episode shares tangible tools and grounding practices to help you stay regulated while navigating a difficult political climate and holding vision for a hopeful path forward.We discuss:The 10/30/60 Principle introduced by a shamanic teacher, Sierra McFeeters, of Indigenous Roots Institute "beginners mind" and other grounding practices to help you stay regulated and presenttangible ways to hold vision for a better futurehow to manage emotional flooding by prioritizing joy and being strategic about your media consumptionRESOURCES:Episode 62 Naming What We're Feeling Part 1: Minneapolis, ICE, Renée Good & Alex PrettiSierra McFeeters, Indigenous Roots InstituteHeather Cox Richardson - political historianGround News Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

In this episode, Katie and Allie sit with what it feels like to watch the country fracture in real time. We speak openly about grief, anger, confusion, and the exhaustion of watching violence become normalized. The conversation reflects on recent events, including the killings of Renée Good and Alex Pretti by ICE, as well as the arrest of journalist Don Lemon, and what these moments reveal about systemic oppression, political division, and the long road ahead for meaningful change.We also reflect on how news and social media shape our understanding of current events, how dynamics like the Drama Triangle and ego strength show up in our reactions, and what it feels like to engage with people who support systems that we believe cause harm.There are no clean answers here. This conversation names the weight of the moment and the difficulty of holding grief, anger, and uncertainty while still trying to imagine a way forward.We Discuss:Our personal response to the ICE shootings of Renée Good and Alex Pretti How polarized reporting and social media echo chambers shape our perceptionsIdentifying dynamics like the Drama Triangle and ego strength in political and personal interactionsHow trauma, violence, and systemic oppression affect people across dividesReframing how to interact with people whose beliefs or political alignment don't align with your ownRESOURCES:The Ego Series: Episodes 27-30The Drama Triangle: Episode 42The Codependency Series: Episodes 48-51Ground NewsLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

In this episode, we kick off a new ongoing series, Centered or Not, which reflects on the narratives we absorb through pop culture and how those messages shape our understanding of power, healing, and self-worth.Today's exploration? Two iconic breakup anthems: "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood and "Flowers" by Miley Cyrus. Katie and Allie use these two anthems to explore contrasting messages about reclaiming power after a breakup... from revenge and validation to self-love and rebuilding from within. Along the way, they reflect on how similar messaging showed up in advice many of us received growing up, via religion, and in conversations about how we’re “supposed” to move on.We Explore:How pop culture frames power as retaliation vs. self-connectionThe difference between internal and external sources of validationWhy anger can be valid without being the place we stayHow breakup narratives have evolved and how we’ve evolved with themWhat it looks like to be self-centered without becoming closed off or hyper-independentLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Have you ever looked back at a past version of yourself and thought, “I should have known better”?In this episode, we explore why we so often judge our past choices through the lens of who we are now - unpacking the difference between guilt and self-punishment, why mistakes are often coping strategies rather than character flaws, and how black-and-white narratives around “bad behavior” keep people stuck.If you’re caught replaying a past decision, struggling to forgive yourself, or feeling defined by something you’ve already taken responsibility for, this conversation invites a more compassionate, developmentally honest way of understanding your growth and yourself.In this episode, we explore:Why we judge our past selves using information we didn’t have at the time The difference between evaluating behavior and condemning identityWhy many “big mistakes” such as infidelity might actually be coping strategies shaped by context and developmentHow black-and-white narratives around mistakes keep people stuck in shameWhat gets in the way of self-forgiveness, even after you’ve done the workLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Have you ever slowed down, felt more settled, and somehow started feeling… guilty? In this episode, Katie explores why contentment can feel uncomfortable, why rest can trigger anxiety, and why many of us mistake peace for stagnation. Drawing from her own experience with hustle culture, productivity, religion, and healing, she unpacks her former belief that growth must always look like striving and the 3 belief shifts that helped her to uncover true peace in her growth journey. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re actually growing (or secretly falling behind) because nothing dramatic is happening, this conversation is for you.In this episode, we explore:Why guilt can show up after you slow downWhat it means when growth feels quiet instead of excitingThe discomfort of contentment after a life of strivingHow to tell the difference between peace and “falling behind”Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Family estrangement is often framed as a mystery or a failure, especially by the people who feel left behind. In this final episode of our estrangement series, we explore why repair so often doesn’t happen, even when adult children clearly explain what hurt them.We talk about the concept of the missing missing reasons, why parents and family members may genuinely believe no explanation was ever given, and how emotional immaturity, shame, and defensiveness make it impossible to make the changes required to repair the relationship.This episode is especially for adult children who have gone low or no contact. It’s also for anyone trying to understand why good intentions, apologies, or repeated explanations don’t lead to real change or repair.Rather than blaming or diagnosing anyone, this conversation focuses on emotional capacity and opportunities for growth. We talk about what actually makes repair possible, and why adult children are not responsible for teaching these skills to their parents.YOU'LL LEARN:Why most family estrangement comes down to harm that was never acknowledged or repairedThe difference between healthy guilt and toxic shame, and why shame blocks repairCommon ways estranged parents unconsciously minimize, reframe, or deny the real reasonsWhy repair requires emotional capacity, not pressure, guilt, or more explanationsRESOURCES:Ep. 13 The difference between guilt and shameEp. 27 Wait, is it me or their ego?Ep. 28 How defense mechanisms show up in relationshipsEp. 32 Communication styles 101Ep. 35 How to know who you can trustEp. 42 The drama triangleLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Family estrangement is often described as selfish, impulsive, or cruel. In this episode, we slow the conversation down and examine why those narratives miss what actually leads adult children to go no contact.We explore common myths about estrangement, including the idea that adult children do not care, are overreacting, or are following a cultural trend. Through a trauma-informed lens, we talk about attachment, emotional exhaustion, and why distance is usually a last resort after years of trying to repair, explain, and stay connected.This conversation is not about encouraging estrangement. It is about understanding why some people reach a point where protecting themselves becomes necessary. If you have ever questioned your decision to create distance, or felt misunderstood for prioritizing safety, this episode offers context, clarity, and relief.You’ll learn:• Why adult children often choose no contact only after years of trying to repair, explain, and stay connected, and how caring deeply can coexist with choosing distance.• How common myths about estrangement oversimplify complex attachment, nervous system limits, and long-term emotional harm.• How to reframe no contact as a boundary rooted in self-protection rather than punishment, cruelty, or lack of love.RESOURCES:Ep. 55: Oprah’s “Rising Trend of Going No Contact”: Why it’s not a trend, It’s a cultural shift (Estrangement Series Pt 1)Ep. 56: A Trauma-Informed Response to the NYT and Mel Robbins on Family Estrangement and No Contact (Estrangement Series Pt 2)Information on CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

If you read the New York Times article on family estrangement and no contact and felt unsettled, this episode is for you.We respond directly to the NYT opinion piece “Life Is Too Short to Fight With Your Family,” co-authored by Mel Robbins and Dr. Karl Pillemer, and explain why its conclusions about estrangement, mental health, and regret overlook trauma, power dynamics, and emotional safety.Rather than pushing blanket reconciliation or “just let them” advice, this episode offers a trauma-informed perspective on why estrangement is often a last resort, not avoidance.You’ll learn:• How the NYT article minimizes cumulative relational harm• How “life is too short” narratives pressure people into unsafe contact• Why no contact is often a values-based, intentional choice• How to trust your body and lived experience over cultural pressureThis episode centers estranged adult children and others whose experiences are frequently erased in mainstream conversations about family, forgiveness, and reconciliation.RESOURCES:Ep. 55: Oprah’s “rising trend of going no contact”: why it’s not a trend, It’s a cultural shiftEp. 38: Are your boundaries too strong for your own good?Ep. 35: How to know who you can trust (and who you can’t)Ep. 7: Deathbed regrets: how living an authentic and aligned life helps you reclaim your power and maximize happinessNYT “Life Is Too Short to Fight With Your Family,”Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Oprah’s podcast framed estrangement as a rising "trend.” But is it really?Allie and Katie take a closer look at how mainstream media covers “no contact” relationships, responding directly to The Oprah Podcast episode featuring Dr. Joshua Coleman, Dr. Lindsay Gibson, and Nedra Tawwab. They share their professional and personal reactions, fact-check common misconceptions, and explain what’s actually happening beneath this so-called “epidemic".You’ll learn:Why estrangement isn’t a trend, it’s an empowering cultural shift in response to awareness of harmHow therapists really handle client conversations about dysfunctional or harmful relationshipsWhy “protecting your peace” is often mistaken for rejectionHow emotional immaturity and ego fragility contribute to dysfunctionThe role of emotional maturity in repair and reconciliationWhy cultural shifts around boundaries and mental health are healthy, not divisiveRELATED EPISODES:Ep. 7: Deathbed regrets: how living an authentic and aligned life helps you reclaim your power and maximize happinessEp. 27: "Wait, is it me or their ego?"Ep. 28: How defense mechanisms show up in relationshipsEp. 42: The drama triangle explained: stop doubting yourself and start standing in your powerEp. 48: Codependence 101Ep. 49: How to break codependent patterns and come home to yourselfEp. 50: The subconscious codependent habits that keep you from real connectionOTHER RESOURCES:Whitney Goodman, LMFT ("sitwithwhit" on IG)Kate Gray, LMFT ("codependencykate" on IG)Destini Ann - parenting education ("destini.ann" on IG)Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

After years of survival mode, loneliness, and self-abandonment disguised as “being good,” Allie shares how centering herself finally led to genuine connection. This episode is an honest reflection on the decade it took to rebuild her sense of self, community, and joy, and what it really feels like when your friendships start aligning with who you’ve become.Through stories of loss, boundaries, chronic illness, and healing, Allie reveals the surprising way self-trust and playfulness helped her rediscover belonging. She explores how masking, over-functioning, and fear of being “too much” can block authentic connection, and why centering yourself is the foundation for finding the right people, not just more people.Whether you’ve outgrown old dynamics, struggled to make adult friendships, or feel like you’ve lost yourself in the process of being there for everyone else, this episode will remind you: nothing’s wrong with you, you’re just in the messy middle of finding your self, and your people.You’ll learn:• What true alignment feels like in relationships and community• Why trying to be someone you’re not to fit in often leads to loneliness, not belonging• How play, authenticity, and boundaries open the door to real connection• Why “getting lost” can be an essential part of finding yourself againRESOURCES:Ep. 4: Dimensions of Wellness 1.0Ep 36: Dimensions of Wellness 2.0Ep. 22: The traits and skills you need to build authentic, lasting relationshipsEp 23: How to make friends as an adultEp. 35: How to know who you can trust (and who you can't)Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Is being “self centered” the key to healing both ourselves and our culture?In this one-year anniversary episode, Allie and Katie reflect on the evolution of Self Centered, what it is, what it isn’t, and why it’s not just a mental health podcast. They reveal the deeper mission behind the movement: to help people reconnect with their true selves and reshape the systems that keep us overworked, over-functioning, and disconnected.You’ll hear about:How personal healing connects to cultural changeWhy good intentions often keep us trapped in codependent systemsThe mission to dismantle cultural blueprints that cause burnout, guilt, and self abandonmentChanges happening in future episodes How selfies can co-create the movement as guests and contributorsPerfect for anyone feeling unseen, overextended, or misunderstood, this episode is your reminder to come home to yourself, and join the community changing our codependent culture from the inside out.EPISODES REFERENCED:40. How society shapes your boundaries41. How cancel culture keeps people who cause harm from changing their ways44. The loop of avoidance: Why you can't live a centered life while running from discomfort47. Outgrowing the grind: How I learned to choose alignment over hustle culture51. It's not just you; the world around you is codependent, tooLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

This week, Katie tells the story of her very first date after her breakup… and all the chaotic, conflicting, surprisingly insightful feelings that came with it. Think of this episode as a self-centered field trip into listening to your body, unlearning old rules, and figuring out what you actually want instead of what your fear or society tells you to want. It’s honest, playful, and a perfect example of how tuning in can shift your whole experience and help you build self trust along the way. IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:How to notice when old beliefs, rigidity, or “rules” start creeping back in, even when you thought you’d outgrown them.Why conflicting emotions (like wanting connection and wanting distance) can coexist and still offer helpful information.A practical example of choosing actions that honor your values rather than your fears, expectations, or past patterns.Ways to use your body’s cues as feedback for what feels aligned, safe, and supportive instead of forcing yourself into situations out of obligation.Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

This final episode of our codependency series zooms out to reveal how the world around us, including workplaces, healthcare systems, politics, family structures, and culture as a whole, reinforces and normalizes codependent dynamics. If you have ever wondered why setting boundaries feels impossible or why burnout, guilt, and over-functioning feel like the default, this conversation helps you see that it is not just a “you” problem. It is a systemic issue. You will learn how cultural expectations around loyalty, self-sacrifice, and people-pleasing keep harmful patterns in place, and why awareness is the first step toward building a more self-centered and genuinely supportive life.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:How codependent beliefs show up in personal relationships, workplaces, healthcare systems, government, and culture.Why “just set a boundary” is not always realistic or safe when power imbalances and codependent cultures are present.The difference between micro (individual), mezzo (family and group), and macro (cultural and political) forms of codependence and how each level reinforces the others.The reasons why burnout, people-pleasing, over-functioning, and guilt are often adaptive responses to unhealthy systems rather than personal shortcomings. You are not flawed for struggling. Why codependent cultures and abuse go hand in hand. RESOURCES:Episode 42: The Drama TriangleEpisodes 48-50: Codependency SeriesLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

When you’ve spent years in codependent dynamics, it’s easy to confuse intensity with connection and fantasy with compatibility. This episode helps you uncover the subconscious habits, like rescuing, reenacting old wounds, people-pleasing, and idealizing emotionally unavailable partners, that quietly pull you away from real, grounded intimacy. You’ll learn how to shift from managing others’ reactions to expressing your truth, how to recognize when you’re chasing a “do-over,” and how to begin reparenting the parts of you that never felt fully seen. By the end of this episode (and this series), you’ll understand how to build relationships based on clarity, self-attunement, and genuine connection and hang up the familiar cloak of codependent coping.IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL LEARN:How codependency shows up as “unconscious fantasies,” idealization, and the search for an emotionally mature rescuer.Why repetition compulsion makes you attracted to familiar but unhealthy partners and how to interrupt that cycle.The difference between people-pleasing, peace-keeping, and honest self-expression (and how to practice truth-telling without oversharing).How to recognize when you’re managing someone’s reactions instead of gathering real information about who they are.Tools for moving from other-attunement to self-attunement, including emotional cues, body awareness, and boundary-setting.What reparenting actually looks like day-to-day and how to become the safe, grounded adult your younger self needed.RELATED EPISODES:Part 1 of 4: 48. Codependence 101: Why You Keep Losing Yourself in RelationshipsPart 2 of 4: 49. How to Break Codependent Patterns and Come Home to YourselfLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

In this episode we break down the five faces of codependency (the caretaker, people-pleaser, rescuer, dependent, and avoidant), what led you to being in each role, and how you can get in touch with the most authentic and empowered version of you.You’ll learn how to:Recognize which roles you fall into in relationshipsIdentify the beliefs driving your codependent habitsShift from self-abandonment to self-connectionBuild interdependent, reciprocal relationshipsIf you’ve ever wondered “Why do I keep attracting the same kind of people?” or felt burnt out from being “the reliable one,” this episode will help you rewrite your story and come home to yourself.RELATED EPISODES:EP. 27 "Wait, is it me or their ego?"Ep. 32 Communication styles 101Ep. 36 Reclaiming Your Wellness in Every Dimension of Your Life (Learn the concept of "staying in your seat"Ep. 42 The drama triangle explainedEp. 48 Codependence 101Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

If in relationships, you feel like you're always anticipating others’ needs, walking on eggshells, or taking responsibility for everyone else’s emotions, this episode may help you understand why. In this first episode of our four-part series on codependency, we unpack what codependence is, the five roles that keep people stuck in unhealthy patterns, and how childhood mirroring (or lack of it) can shape adult relational habits. You'll hear relational life examples as Katie shares a personal reflection on how her own codependent tendencies formed and how she is learning to reconnect with her authentic needs. By the end, you will see that healing from codependency is not about becoming less caring; it is about becoming more centered.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:What codependency actually means and why it is rooted in self-abandonment, not neediness or clinginess.The five roles that appear in codependent relationships: the caretaker, people pleaser, rescuer, dependent, and avoidant, and how they interact.How formative experiences of not being emotionally mirrored can lead to later over-functioning or emotional avoidance.Why codependent behavior often begins as a survival strategy and becomes part of your identity.The difference between being “easy to love” and being emotionally unavailable or self-silencing.RELATED EPISODES:Episode 6: How to Set and Keep BoundariesEpisode 42: The Drama TriangleLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Today's episode dives into the courage it takes to make life or career changes when both options seem “right.” Katie opens up about a major business transition to leave the gym that helped her grow for five years and explores how perfectionism, hustle culture, and reenactment cycles kept her chasing familiar patterns under the illusion of safety. We unpack how fear of incompetence, identity tied to productivity, and the need for control can trap us in survival mode even when we crave expansion. This self-reflective episode is for anyone standing at a crossroads, questioning whether their comfort zone is actually keeping them stuck.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARNHow to recognize when growth requires leaving something good behindThe difference between “I have to” and “I get to” when you're investing time and energyHow reenactment can keep us stuck repeating old emotional or professional patternsWhat it means to create new molds for your life instead of forcing old ones to fitSelf reflective questions you can ask yourself to determine if you're making choices that are aligned to your true valuesLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

In this episode, Allie opens up about the very personal and sometimes messy process of realizing she’s bisexual and how that discovery began, unexpectedly, on TikTok. What starts as a story about algorithms becomes an honest reflection on curiosity, attraction, and the cultural assumptions that had quietly shaped her sense of “normal.” We talk through what it’s like to question old beliefs and to meet yourself with compassion when your truth surprises you. This isn’t a lesson; it’s a conversation about growing, unlearning, and learning to listen inward with gentleness and curiosity.PLEASE NOTE: This episode reflects a personal learning journey and includes discussions of sexuality and heteronormativity. We’ve learned that some parts of this discussion lacked context as they were detached from the history and lived experience of the queer community and we want to acknowledge that. Our intent is to continue learning and honoring the voices, histories, and lived experiences of the LGBTQ+ community with more depth and care. Follow up episodes to explore these important layers further are coming!IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:How replacing shame with curiosity can open space for genuine self-discovery.What it feels like to realize you’ve been living by someone else’s “default settings” and how to begin rewriting them.Why exploring your identity isn’t about getting it right, but about getting honest.How cultural expectations can shape attraction without us even realizing it.Ways to approach new self-understandings with humility and compassion, especially when they challenge what you thought you knew about yourself.RESOURCES:Episode 28: Defense MechanismsLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Do you ever feel like you have to earn rest or joy?In this episode, we’re flipping the script. Feeling good isn’t something you get after the work is done—it’s the thing that actually helps you do the work better.We talk about:Why rest, joy, and pleasure are essential, not indulgentHow to build your “emotional bank account” through small, daily deposits of joyThe science behind “The Happiness Advantage” and the DBT skill of accumulating positive emotionsHow noticing your “glimmers” rewires your nervous system for safety and peaceThe psychology behind “fake it (feeling good) 'til you make it” and why it actually worksIf you’ve ever felt guilty for resting or struggled to enjoy good things because your to-do list isn’t done, this episode will help you start feeling good now, not someday.OTHER HELPFUL EPISODES:Episodes 2: How to Stop Overextending Yourself by Staying in Your SeatEpisode 24: Identifying Your True Values and Aligning Your PrioritiesEpisode 36: How to maintain wellness in every dimension of your lifeSOURCES:Shawn Achor's book, "The Happiness Advantage" and his Tedx Talk, "The Happiness Advantage"DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)Deb Dana's concept of glimmersLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.