Self Centered™ with Katie and Allie

Family estrangement is often described as selfish, impulsive, or cruel. In this episode, we slow the conversation down and examine why those narratives miss what actually leads adult children to go no contact.We explore common myths about estrangement, including the idea that adult children do not care, are overreacting, or are following a cultural trend. Through a trauma-informed lens, we talk about attachment, emotional exhaustion, and why distance is usually a last resort after years of trying to repair, explain, and stay connected.This conversation is not about encouraging estrangement. It is about understanding why some people reach a point where protecting themselves becomes necessary. If you have ever questioned your decision to create distance, or felt misunderstood for prioritizing safety, this episode offers context, clarity, and relief.You’ll learn:• Why adult children often choose no contact only after years of trying to repair, explain, and stay connected, and how caring deeply can coexist with choosing distance.• How common myths about estrangement oversimplify complex attachment, nervous system limits, and long-term emotional harm.• How to reframe no contact as a boundary rooted in self-protection rather than punishment, cruelty, or lack of love.RESOURCES:Ep. 55: Oprah’s “Rising Trend of Going No Contact”: Why it’s not a trend, It’s a cultural shift (Estrangement Series Pt 1)Ep. 56: A Trauma-Informed Response to the NYT and Mel Robbins on Family Estrangement and No Contact (Estrangement Series Pt 2)Information on CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

If you read the New York Times article on family estrangement and no contact and felt unsettled, this episode is for you.We respond directly to the NYT opinion piece “Life Is Too Short to Fight With Your Family,” co-authored by Mel Robbins and Dr. Karl Pillemer, and explain why its conclusions about estrangement, mental health, and regret overlook trauma, power dynamics, and emotional safety.Rather than pushing blanket reconciliation or “just let them” advice, this episode offers a trauma-informed perspective on why estrangement is often a last resort, not avoidance.You’ll learn:• How the NYT article minimizes cumulative relational harm• How “life is too short” narratives pressure people into unsafe contact• Why no contact is often a values-based, intentional choice• How to trust your body and lived experience over cultural pressureThis episode centers estranged adult children and others whose experiences are frequently erased in mainstream conversations about family, forgiveness, and reconciliation.RESOURCES:Ep. 55: Oprah’s “rising trend of going no contact”: why it’s not a trend, It’s a cultural shiftEp. 38: Are your boundaries too strong for your own good?Ep. 35: How to know who you can trust (and who you can’t)Ep. 7: Deathbed regrets: how living an authentic and aligned life helps you reclaim your power and maximize happinessNYT “Life Is Too Short to Fight With Your Family,”Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Oprah’s podcast framed estrangement as a rising "trend.” But is it really?Allie and Katie take a closer look at how mainstream media covers “no contact” relationships, responding directly to The Oprah Podcast episode featuring Dr. Joshua Coleman, Dr. Lindsay Gibson, and Nedra Tawwab. They share their professional and personal reactions, fact-check common misconceptions, and explain what’s actually happening beneath this so-called “epidemic".You’ll learn:Why estrangement isn’t a trend, it’s an empowering cultural shift in response to awareness of harmHow therapists really handle client conversations about dysfunctional or harmful relationshipsWhy “protecting your peace” is often mistaken for rejectionHow emotional immaturity and ego fragility contribute to dysfunctionThe role of emotional maturity in repair and reconciliationWhy cultural shifts around boundaries and mental health are healthy, not divisiveRELATED EPISODES:Ep. 7: Deathbed regrets: how living an authentic and aligned life helps you reclaim your power and maximize happinessEp. 27: "Wait, is it me or their ego?"Ep. 28: How defense mechanisms show up in relationshipsEp. 42: The drama triangle explained: stop doubting yourself and start standing in your powerEp. 48: Codependence 101Ep. 49: How to break codependent patterns and come home to yourselfEp. 50: The subconscious codependent habits that keep you from real connectionOTHER RESOURCES:Whitney Goodman, LMFT ("sitwithwhit" on IG)Kate Gray, LMFT ("codependencykate" on IG)Destini Ann - parenting education ("destini.ann" on IG)Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

After years of survival mode, loneliness, and self-abandonment disguised as “being good,” Allie shares how centering herself finally led to genuine connection. This episode is an honest reflection on the decade it took to rebuild her sense of self, community, and joy, and what it really feels like when your friendships start aligning with who you’ve become.Through stories of loss, boundaries, chronic illness, and healing, Allie reveals the surprising way self-trust and playfulness helped her rediscover belonging. She explores how masking, over-functioning, and fear of being “too much” can block authentic connection, and why centering yourself is the foundation for finding the right people, not just more people.Whether you’ve outgrown old dynamics, struggled to make adult friendships, or feel like you’ve lost yourself in the process of being there for everyone else, this episode will remind you: nothing’s wrong with you, you’re just in the messy middle of finding your self, and your people.You’ll learn:• What true alignment feels like in relationships and community• Why trying to be someone you’re not to fit in often leads to loneliness, not belonging• How play, authenticity, and boundaries open the door to real connection• Why “getting lost” can be an essential part of finding yourself againRESOURCES:Ep. 4: Dimensions of Wellness 1.0Ep 36: Dimensions of Wellness 2.0Ep. 22: The traits and skills you need to build authentic, lasting relationshipsEp 23: How to make friends as an adultEp. 35: How to know who you can trust (and who you can't)Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Is being “self centered” the key to healing both ourselves and our culture?In this one-year anniversary episode, Allie and Katie reflect on the evolution of Self Centered, what it is, what it isn’t, and why it’s not just a mental health podcast. They reveal the deeper mission behind the movement: to help people reconnect with their true selves and reshape the systems that keep us overworked, over-functioning, and disconnected.You’ll hear about:How personal healing connects to cultural changeWhy good intentions often keep us trapped in codependent systemsThe mission to dismantle cultural blueprints that cause burnout, guilt, and self abandonmentChanges happening in future episodes How selfies can co-create the movement as guests and contributorsPerfect for anyone feeling unseen, overextended, or misunderstood, this episode is your reminder to come home to yourself, and join the community changing our codependent culture from the inside out.EPISODES REFERENCED:40. How society shapes your boundaries41. How cancel culture keeps people who cause harm from changing their ways44. The loop of avoidance: Why you can't live a centered life while running from discomfort47. Outgrowing the grind: How I learned to choose alignment over hustle culture51. It's not just you; the world around you is codependent, tooLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, guest requests, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

This week, Katie tells the story of her very first date after her breakup… and all the chaotic, conflicting, surprisingly insightful feelings that came with it. Think of this episode as a self-centered field trip into listening to your body, unlearning old rules, and figuring out what you actually want instead of what your fear or society tells you to want. It’s honest, playful, and a perfect example of how tuning in can shift your whole experience and help you build self trust along the way. IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:How to notice when old beliefs, rigidity, or “rules” start creeping back in, even when you thought you’d outgrown them.Why conflicting emotions (like wanting connection and wanting distance) can coexist and still offer helpful information.A practical example of choosing actions that honor your values rather than your fears, expectations, or past patterns.Ways to use your body’s cues as feedback for what feels aligned, safe, and supportive instead of forcing yourself into situations out of obligation.Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

This final episode of our codependency series zooms out to reveal how the world around us, including workplaces, healthcare systems, politics, family structures, and culture as a whole, reinforces and normalizes codependent dynamics. If you have ever wondered why setting boundaries feels impossible or why burnout, guilt, and over-functioning feel like the default, this conversation helps you see that it is not just a “you” problem. It is a systemic issue. You will learn how cultural expectations around loyalty, self-sacrifice, and people-pleasing keep harmful patterns in place, and why awareness is the first step toward building a more self-centered and genuinely supportive life.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:How codependent beliefs show up in personal relationships, workplaces, healthcare systems, government, and culture.Why “just set a boundary” is not always realistic or safe when power imbalances and codependent cultures are present.The difference between micro (individual), mezzo (family and group), and macro (cultural and political) forms of codependence and how each level reinforces the others.The reasons why burnout, people-pleasing, over-functioning, and guilt are often adaptive responses to unhealthy systems rather than personal shortcomings. You are not flawed for struggling. Why codependent cultures and abuse go hand in hand. RESOURCES:Episode 42: The Drama TriangleEpisodes 48-50: Codependency SeriesLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

When you’ve spent years in codependent dynamics, it’s easy to confuse intensity with connection and fantasy with compatibility. This episode helps you uncover the subconscious habits, like rescuing, reenacting old wounds, people-pleasing, and idealizing emotionally unavailable partners, that quietly pull you away from real, grounded intimacy. You’ll learn how to shift from managing others’ reactions to expressing your truth, how to recognize when you’re chasing a “do-over,” and how to begin reparenting the parts of you that never felt fully seen. By the end of this episode (and this series), you’ll understand how to build relationships based on clarity, self-attunement, and genuine connection and hang up the familiar cloak of codependent coping.IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL LEARN:How codependency shows up as “unconscious fantasies,” idealization, and the search for an emotionally mature rescuer.Why repetition compulsion makes you attracted to familiar but unhealthy partners and how to interrupt that cycle.The difference between people-pleasing, peace-keeping, and honest self-expression (and how to practice truth-telling without oversharing).How to recognize when you’re managing someone’s reactions instead of gathering real information about who they are.Tools for moving from other-attunement to self-attunement, including emotional cues, body awareness, and boundary-setting.What reparenting actually looks like day-to-day and how to become the safe, grounded adult your younger self needed.RELATED EPISODES:Part 1 of 4: 48. Codependence 101: Why You Keep Losing Yourself in RelationshipsPart 2 of 4: 49. How to Break Codependent Patterns and Come Home to YourselfLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

In this episode we break down the five faces of codependency (the caretaker, people-pleaser, rescuer, dependent, and avoidant), what led you to being in each role, and how you can get in touch with the most authentic and empowered version of you.You’ll learn how to:Recognize which roles you fall into in relationshipsIdentify the beliefs driving your codependent habitsShift from self-abandonment to self-connectionBuild interdependent, reciprocal relationshipsIf you’ve ever wondered “Why do I keep attracting the same kind of people?” or felt burnt out from being “the reliable one,” this episode will help you rewrite your story and come home to yourself.RELATED EPISODES:EP. 27 "Wait, is it me or their ego?"Ep. 32 Communication styles 101Ep. 36 Reclaiming Your Wellness in Every Dimension of Your Life (Learn the concept of "staying in your seat"Ep. 42 The drama triangle explainedEp. 48 Codependence 101Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

If in relationships, you feel like you're always anticipating others’ needs, walking on eggshells, or taking responsibility for everyone else’s emotions, this episode may help you understand why. In this first episode of our four-part series on codependency, we unpack what codependence is, the five roles that keep people stuck in unhealthy patterns, and how childhood mirroring (or lack of it) can shape adult relational habits. You'll hear relational life examples as Katie shares a personal reflection on how her own codependent tendencies formed and how she is learning to reconnect with her authentic needs. By the end, you will see that healing from codependency is not about becoming less caring; it is about becoming more centered.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:What codependency actually means and why it is rooted in self-abandonment, not neediness or clinginess.The five roles that appear in codependent relationships: the caretaker, people pleaser, rescuer, dependent, and avoidant, and how they interact.How formative experiences of not being emotionally mirrored can lead to later over-functioning or emotional avoidance.Why codependent behavior often begins as a survival strategy and becomes part of your identity.The difference between being “easy to love” and being emotionally unavailable or self-silencing.RELATED EPISODES:Episode 6: How to Set and Keep BoundariesEpisode 42: The Drama TriangleLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Today's episode dives into the courage it takes to make life or career changes when both options seem “right.” Katie opens up about a major business transition to leave the gym that helped her grow for five years and explores how perfectionism, hustle culture, and reenactment cycles kept her chasing familiar patterns under the illusion of safety. We unpack how fear of incompetence, identity tied to productivity, and the need for control can trap us in survival mode even when we crave expansion. This self-reflective episode is for anyone standing at a crossroads, questioning whether their comfort zone is actually keeping them stuck.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARNHow to recognize when growth requires leaving something good behindThe difference between “I have to” and “I get to” when you're investing time and energyHow reenactment can keep us stuck repeating old emotional or professional patternsWhat it means to create new molds for your life instead of forcing old ones to fitSelf reflective questions you can ask yourself to determine if you're making choices that are aligned to your true valuesLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

In this episode, Allie opens up about the very personal and sometimes messy process of realizing she’s bisexual and how that discovery began, unexpectedly, on TikTok. What starts as a story about algorithms becomes an honest reflection on curiosity, attraction, and the cultural assumptions that had quietly shaped her sense of “normal.” We talk through what it’s like to question old beliefs and to meet yourself with compassion when your truth surprises you. This isn’t a lesson; it’s a conversation about growing, unlearning, and learning to listen inward with gentleness and curiosity.PLEASE NOTE: This episode reflects a personal learning journey and includes discussions of sexuality and heteronormativity. We’ve learned that some parts of this discussion lacked context as they were detached from the history and lived experience of the queer community and we want to acknowledge that. Our intent is to continue learning and honoring the voices, histories, and lived experiences of the LGBTQ+ community with more depth and care. Follow up episodes to explore these important layers further are coming!IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:How replacing shame with curiosity can open space for genuine self-discovery.What it feels like to realize you’ve been living by someone else’s “default settings” and how to begin rewriting them.Why exploring your identity isn’t about getting it right, but about getting honest.How cultural expectations can shape attraction without us even realizing it.Ways to approach new self-understandings with humility and compassion, especially when they challenge what you thought you knew about yourself.RESOURCES:Episode 28: Defense MechanismsLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Do you ever feel like you have to earn rest or joy?In this episode, we’re flipping the script. Feeling good isn’t something you get after the work is done—it’s the thing that actually helps you do the work better.We talk about:Why rest, joy, and pleasure are essential, not indulgentHow to build your “emotional bank account” through small, daily deposits of joyThe science behind “The Happiness Advantage” and the DBT skill of accumulating positive emotionsHow noticing your “glimmers” rewires your nervous system for safety and peaceThe psychology behind “fake it (feeling good) 'til you make it” and why it actually worksIf you’ve ever felt guilty for resting or struggled to enjoy good things because your to-do list isn’t done, this episode will help you start feeling good now, not someday.OTHER HELPFUL EPISODES:Episodes 2: How to Stop Overextending Yourself by Staying in Your SeatEpisode 24: Identifying Your True Values and Aligning Your PrioritiesEpisode 36: How to maintain wellness in every dimension of your lifeSOURCES:Shawn Achor's book, "The Happiness Advantage" and his Tedx Talk, "The Happiness Advantage"DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)Deb Dana's concept of glimmersLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Transformation and post traumatic growth doesn’t always feel bright or inspiring at the start. More often, it feels like walking through fog - scary, heavy, and disorienting - because the path forward is unknown. In this episode, we help you recognize when you’re stuck in looping patterns of avoidance, over-functioning, or self-abandonment that keep you circling in the dark. You’ll learn why surrendering to discomfort, rather than resisting it, is the key to breaking the loop and moving toward real growth. This conversation will give you hope and practical guidance to step out of the fog and into true transformation.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:Why transformation and growth often begins in darkness and how to reframe breakdowns as invitations to grow.How to recognize the looping patterns of avoidance, over-functioning, and self-abandonment that keep you stuck.When to lean into discomfort and surrender to the process instead of resisting it.How to use emotions like anger and guilt as signals guiding you back to your center.The Fool's Journey and how Tarot, psilocybin, and religious metaphors encourage you to move your way out of the fog. Why facing your shadows builds resilience, self-trust, and the ability to move through future challenges with greater ease.RESOURCES:Episode 2 - Staying in Your Seat Episodes 4 & 36 - Dartboard Metaphor Richard Tedeschi & Lawrence Calhoun – Post-Traumatic GrowthPortia Nelson – "Autobiography in Five Chapters"Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

How do you determine when exercise as a coping mechanism is helping you self center or if its self abandonment? Through the story of ultramarathoner Paul Johnson, who ran across the United States to bring visibility to mental health struggles, and Simone Biles, who stepped back from the Olympics to protect her wellbeing, we see how different choices can both be acts of self centering. Katie also reflects on her own experiences of using fitness to cope through difficult seasons and when it became grounding versus when it became avoidance. Listeners will leave with practical insights to reflect on their own habits and recognize whether their approach to fitness is aligned with their needs, values, and current season of life.YOU WILL LEARN:How to tell if your workouts are serving you or draining you. You’ll learn practical reflection questions that help you check whether your fitness routine is aligning with your needs or pulling you away from yourselfWhy two athletes made opposite choices and both found healing. Paul Johnson used ultramarathon running to process his struggles, while Simone Biles stepped back from competition to protect her wellbeing. Their stories show that there is no one right answerWhat role seasons of life play in your fitness choices. You will see how the same routine can be supportive in one season but harmful in another, and why flexibility matters in deciding when to push and when to restHow to build a balanced toolbox for coping. You’ll learn why fitness works best when paired with other supports like therapy, community, and rest rather than being your only outletRESOURCES:E39: Exercise and Mental HealthLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Have you ever found yourself feeling guilty for saying no, responsible for someone else’s feelings, or like the bad guy just for setting boundaries? This episode unpacks the hidden emotional cycle known as the Drama Triangle and introduces the Empowerment Triangle as a practical path to reclaim your power. You'll learn how these dynamics show up in everyday interactions and how to shift from reactivity and guilt into choice, clarity, and self-trust. If you're a people-pleaser, a chronic helper, or someone recovering from emotionally manipulative relationships, this episode will help you break free from disempowering cycles and build boundaries that actually support connection and peace, not conflict.YOU WILL LEARN:What the Drama Triangle is and how its three roles (Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer) keep you stuck in shame, burnout, and disempowerment.The difference between being a victim and taking on the victim role, and why this distinction matters for your healing.How the Empowerment Triangle (Creator, Challenger, Coach) offers a healthier alternative to navigate conflict and emotional responsibility.Why setting boundaries or communicating assertively may cause others to label you as “selfish” or “aggressive” and how to hold your ground anyway.Personal stories involving divorce, guilt, social media, and spiritual conflict, that showcase how you can move in and out of each triangleRESOURCES:Dr Stephen Karpman: The Drama TriangleDavid Emerald and Donna Zajonc: The Empowerment Triangle Communication Styles - Episode 32Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

This episode is all about what actually supports growth and repair after harm, both for the person who was hurt and the person who caused it. We break down why cancel culture and rushed apologies often backfire, and what needs to be in place instead: psychological safety, time for reflection, and boundaries that protect without enabling. If you've ever questioned what real accountability should look like, this conversation offers a clear, grounded alternative.YOU WILL LEARN:Why cancel culture fails to support true growth and repairHow psychological safety, boundaries (including no-contact, if needed), and time are critical for genuine self-reflectionThe difference between shame and guilt, and why shame blocks transformationThe role of community, friends, family, therapists, and restorative justice in supporting accountabilityWhy performative apologies often do more harm than good and how to recognize themWhat it looks like to hold firm expectations for accountability without enabling or colludingRESOURCES:Sherman & Strang (2007) Restorative JusticeSelf Centered Ego Series: Episodes 27-30Self Centered Cancel Culture: Episode 40Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Why do so many of us struggle with setting healthy boundaries? In this episode, we uncover how culture, family systems, and social pressures shape the way we protect ourselves (or don’t). From cancel culture to hustle culture to family expectations, we’ll break down the hidden forces behind rigid, porous, and healthy boundaries, and how to reclaim your own. This is especially for you if you grew up over-functioning, silenced, or shamed for setting limits or feel scared you'll be cancelled if you express your true self.You’ll learn:The difference between rigid, weak, and healthy boundariesHow cancel culture mirrors rigid boundaries on a societal levelHow hustle culture and “respect your family” conditioning create porous boundariesPractical ways to protect yourself without abandoning connectionOTHER RELEVANT EPISODES:Boundaries 101: Ep. 6Communication Styles: Ep. 32Weak vs Rigid vs Healthy Boundaries: Ep. 38Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

You've probably heard it before: "fitness is my therapy"... but is it really? In this episode, we explore how movement can be a powerful tool for emotional regulation, stress relief, and even brain health, while also naming the moments when fitness shifts into self-abandonment. Through both science and lived experience, we highlight the fine line between using exercise to become more grounded and using it to avoid what truly needs your attention. If you’ve ever asked yourself “am I working out to feel better, or to run away from myself,” this conversation will help you find clarity and balance.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:How exercise impacts brain chemistry and executive functioningThe role of exercise in regulating the nervous system and completing the stress cycleWhen exercise becomes a grounding, self-centered practice vs. when it becomes avoidance or self-abandonmentThe importance of choosing exercise types based on life seasons, energy levels, and emotional needsWhy strength training matters for long-term health (bone density, balance) and how it doesn’t always have to mean “the gym bro” modelA self check to avoiding overtraining syndrome and self-abandoning fitness habits so you can use exercise as a tool for self-centered physical and mental health. RESOURCES:Delaying post-exercise carbohydrate intake impairs next-day exercise capacity but not muscle glycogen or molecular responsesLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

For the person who’s questioning if their boundaries are keeping them safe or keeping them stuck, this episode is for you. Today we explore the tension between protection and connection by unpacking rigid vs weak boundaries. If you've ever said "I'm just protecting my peace" but still feel disconnected or lonely, you might be using boundaries as armor rather than alignment. You’ll learn how trauma and survival mode shape overprotective boundaries, and how those once-helpful defenses can unintentionally keep intimacy out.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:The difference between rigid, weak, and healthy boundariesHow trauma and survival mode lead to overprotective (rigid) boundariesSigns you may have boundaries that are too strongHow rigid boundaries can feel empowering in the short term but create loneliness in the long runWhy you might default to weak boundaries in relationshipsHow to use discernment, context, and flexibility to shift from rigid to self-honoring boundaries that allow safety and closenessRESOURCES:Episode 6: How to Set and Keep BOUNDARIES, Especially with People Who Don't Respect ThemLove the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: selfcenteredthepod@gmail.comDISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.