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Crazy Together
Crazy Together
Author: Marcus & Esme O’Kayvius
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If you’re sick and tired of listening to the negative talk track playing in your head, then why not listen to us instead? We are Marcus and Esme O’Kayvius (not our real names), a married, neurodivergent couple with a lot of experience managing our own mental health issues while raising a daughter and navigating the dystopic hellscape that is corporate America. Join us each week as we discuss trending mental health issues and explore how they impact our health and wellness. We’ll also examine the myths and misconceptions associated with mental health and what we can do about them.
Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com
Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com
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Picture this: you’re actively working on something that requires a lot of attention (e.g., homework, an assignment at work, an e-mail to a boss who requires communication that is somehow both succinct and robust, etc.). But then, all of a sudden – whoosh – your mind goes blank. No thoughts. Just blank. It would be a real Zen sound of one-hand clapping moment if the timing wasn’t so inconveniant. Because, eventually, you snap back to attention. You shake your head, bewildered by the experience, and upset that you allowed yourself to lose focus again.
But what if it wasn’t entirely up to you whether you lost focus or not? In this week’s episode, Marcus and Esme review two recent studies that suggest: a) those moments where we lose focus, trail off in thought, or just go blank are a product of naturally occurring phenomena in our brains; and b) there are structural differences in our brains that differentiate our experiences from those of neurotypical people. What does it all mean? Well, maybe we can start by being a little kinder to ourselves.
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Sources for this episode include:
Pinggal, Elaine, et al. “Sleep-like Slow Waves During Wakefulness Mediate Attention and Vigilance Difficulties in Adult Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.” Journal of Neuroscience, 16 Mar. 2026, doi:10.1523/JNEUROSCI.1694-25.2025.
Currie, Jake. “Adults With ADHD Experience Sleep-Like Brain Waves While Awake.” Nautilus, 18 Mar. 2026, https://nautil.us/adults-with-adhd-experience-sleep-like-brain-waves-while-awake-1279024.
Pan N, Long Y, Qin K, et al. Mapping ADHD Heterogeneity and Biotypes by Topological Deviations in Morphometric Similarity Networks. JAMA Psychiatry. Published online February 25, 2026. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2026.0001
Bradshaw, Helen. “There Might Be 3 Different Types of ADHD, New Brain Study Suggests.” National Geographic, 3 Mar. 2026, https://www.nationalgeographic.com/health/article/adhd-brain-study-three-subtypes.
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Esme reaches an important milestone with a new endeavor and shares a few valuable lessons she learned along the way. Marcus attempts to manpower his way through a landscaping task that is best left to machines; and much like John Henry, the "steel driving man" of legend, he pays a price for it.
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October 2023: A TikTok creator uploads a video in which she tearfully recounts her experience asking about the possibility of time blindness accommodations during a job interview and the angry rebuke she received from her prospective employer. And people descended on her comments section like a plague of locusts. “Time blindness isn’t real!” some wrote. Another 30 or so commenters wrote some variation of “what if your employer had paycheck blindness - would that be fair?” The neurodivergent came for her as well. “I have ADHD and terrible time blindness and I’ve learned to deal with it. It’s our problem. Not our employers.”
Why are we so quick to jump on someone who asks about reasonable accommodations for a legitimate issue? American workers make accommodations all the time. The only problem is, we make them for our employers. Salaried workers work 50 - 60 hours a week but only get paid for 40. Shift workers are at the mercy of algorithmic scheduling programs that optimize for efficiency and ignore employees’ personal circumstances and needs (e.g., childcare, transportation, etc.).
In this episode, Marcus and Esme discuss time blindness, affirm that it is a very real thing, and make a case for accommodations. They then shift course to try to figure out why we are so willing to do our bosses' work for them and criticize anyone who dares question the status quo.
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Sources for this episode include:
Ly, Adam. “Time Unbound: Managing Time Blindness at Work.” Attention Magazine, Feb. 2024, CHADD, https://chadd.org/adhd-news/adhd-news-adults/attention-time-unbound-managing-time-blindness-at-work/.
Kuhn, Peter, and Fernando Lozano. The Expanding Workweek? Understanding Trends in Long Work Hours Among U.S. Men, 1979–2004. NBER Working Paper No. 11895, National Bureau of Economic Research, Dec. 2005, https://www.nber.org/system/files/working_papers/w11895/w11895.pdf.
Mishel, Lawrence. Vast Majority of Wage Earners Are Working Harder, and for Not Much More: Trends in U.S. Work Hours and Wages over 1979–2007. Economic Policy Institute, 30 Jan. 2013, https://www.epi.org/publication/ib348-trends-us-work-hours-wages-1979-2007/.
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Marcus acknowledges a common theme from the last several episodes of Crazy Together – specifically, the artistic and crafty endeavors of various members of the Irish diaspora - and promises to pursue different themes in due time. He then precedes to outline a complicated St. Patrick’s Day prank he’s always wanted to pull off that would almost certainly earn him a punch in the jaw from a drunken American reveler. Esme then bemoans the erratic nature of March weather in southeastern Pennsylvania, but is quick to reassure herself and everyone else that better days are coming now that Spring is (almost) here.
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Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch: • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp
Marcus and his daughter have a lot in common. They both enjoy crafting, storytelling, and creative problem-solving. They’re also both riddled with ADHD. In this week’s episode, Marcus shares the full story of the annual leprechaun hunt he and his daughter conduct every St. Patrick’s Day, and how this accidental tradition perfectly illustrates some of the challenges associated with ADHD (impulsivity, time blindness, hyperfocus, etc.) and celebrates the joy of overcoming those challenges by working together to create something awesome.
Esme jumps in with her take on the whole operation, reflecting on what it’s like to watch the two of them disappear into this strange, funny, and surprisingly elaborate project. For her, it’s a front‑row seat to the way their brains click together and the easy connection that comes from following an idea wherever it leads.
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Marcus and Esme share one of their all-time favorite videos: The PriceMaster – a weird and wonderful recording of a 2001 performance art piece in which a handful of college kids turned an everyday, run-of-the-mill yard sale into a surreal allegory about capitalism. They also discuss how the city of Denton, Texas (the setting for that particular performance) has adopted the PriceMaster and continues to celebrate its legacy to this day.
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Sources for this episode include:
The article about the legacy of the PriceMaster McPhate, Christian. “From Absurd Garage Sale to Local Legend, Denton Marks 25 Years of the PriceMaster.” Denton Record‑Chronicle, 7 Feb. 2026, https://dentonrc.com/entertainment/from-absurd-garage-sale-to-local-legend-denton-marks-25-years-of-the-pricemaster/article_0a1eff6c-2dd0-495a-aca0-96278b645f40.html.
The original video (32:23) - The PriceMaster. “The PriceMaster (Full Version).” YouTube, uploaded by The PriceMaster, 7 Dec. 2014, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUmmxW7Ksc8.
The Found Footage Fest edit (2:08) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9GBLVRPeaE
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Marcus and Esme discuss a common condition among neurodivergent people: the fear of being perceived. This widely reported phenomena is an internal, emotional, and sometimes physical reaction to being "seen" or judged, often causing people to feel as though they are "on stage." Marcus and Esme dive into why this fear is so common, how it manifests, and what neurodivergent people can do to cope with and possibly even overcome it.
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Sources for this episode include:
Salladin, Cat. “The Fear of Being Perceived in Neurodivergent People.” NeuroSpark Health, 11 Jan. 2026, https://neurosparkhealth.com/masking/fear-of-being-perceived.
Cook, Heather. “When You Hate Being Perceived.” Autism Chrysalis, 9 Dec. 2023, https://www.autismchrysalis.com/2023/12/09/when-you-hate-being-perceived.
“The Anxiety of Being Perceived: Navigating Identity in a Hyper‑Visible World.” Indigo Therapy Group, https://indigotherapygroup.com/the-anxiety-of-being-perceived-navigating-identity-in-a-hyper-visible-world.
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Most people have at least one cringe-inducing memory: the kind of memory that can come flooding back all of a sudden and trigger a spasm of embarrassment and regret throughout your entire body. People with ADHD tend to have a lot more of those memories, especially if they were diagnosed later in life. The years we spent acting on impulses and chasing dopamine without knowing why all but guarantees we’ll have at least one or two memories we’d prefer to forget.
So, what should we do if we can’t forget them? How about we try to own them instead? That’s the experiment Marcus and Esme are trying in this week’s Hyperfocus Bonus. They each take turns sharing an embarrassing memory that was the direct result of poor decisions they made with their pre-diagnosis brains in the hopes of stripping those memories of their power.
But that’s not all – they’re also inviting you, the listeners - to share your own stories if you feel comfortable. Simply send them an e-mail at crazytogetherpod@gmail.com with your own cringe-inducing pre-diagnosis story and they might feature it in an upcoming episode!
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Marcus and Esme discuss the ADHD “Tax” – a term used to describe the very real financial, emotional, and psychological consequences of living with the condition. Esme identifies some of the many transactions and decisions in which people with ADHD might incur the "tax" and offers a few suggestions for dealing with or avoiding it altogether. Marcus does his best to add value to the conversation, with somewhat limited success.
And yes, the human being who wrote the previous paragraph used an em-dash. Em-dashes do not immediately signify that something has been written by AI! I know many of us are on the lookout for non-human generated content, but please do not rob those of us who think and write tangentially of a much-needed punctuation mark.
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Sources for this episode include:
Webster, Rick. “ADHD Tax: Seeking Financial Wellness After Money Problems.” ADDitude, updated 8 Feb. 2026, https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-tax-financial-wellness-money-problems/.
Broadbent, Elizabeth. “The ADHD Tax of Late Fees, Fines, Wasted Food & More.” ADDitude, updated 9 May 2025, https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-tax-late-fees-fines-shame/?src=embed_link.
Williams, Geoff. “Managing Your Finances When You Have ADHD.” Reuters, 16 Sept. 2013, https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSBRE98F0SK.
Mutti-Driscoll, Catherine. “The ADHD Executive Function Tax: How to Cope.” Hallowell Todaro ADHD & Behavioral Health Center, 16 Nov. 2021, https://hallowelltodaro.com/blog-raw-feed/2021/11/18/the-adhd-executive-function-tax-how-to-cope.
“The ADHD Tax.” Take Control ADHD, https://takecontroladhd.com/blog/the-adhd-tax.
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Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch: • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp
Spoilers abound in this week’s Hyperfocus Bonus, as Marcus and Esme share their final thoughts on Season 1 of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms. But before that, Esme comes clean about foregoing sleep to finish watching the most recent season of Bridgerton the night before they recorded this episode. Will she make it to the end of the show before she passes out? You’ll have to listen to find out!
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Marcus and Esme made a mistake. In the span of three weeks they put out two episodes about the evils of dehumanization (and the cruelty that comes along with it), and one episode in which they unironically called Epstein and all of his buddies “monsters.” You might be surprised to learn that this glaring inconsistency went unnoticed by the couple until earlier this week.
So, Marcus and Esme clarify their stance on dehumanization (spoiler alert: they’re against it) and explain how their emotional reaction to the news sparked some cognitive dissonance. They also explain that their impulse to dehumanize was rooted in their desire for justice, and their concerns that these men might not get the justice they deserve . . . unless we all do our part to hold them accountable.
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Sources for this episode include:
Mills, Kim. “Speaking of Psychology: The Psychology of Wealth, Empathy, and Entitlement, with Paul Piff, PhD.” American Psychological Association, Episode 338, June 2025, https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/wealth-empathy.
Cunningham, Mary. “Wealth Inequality in America Just Hit Its Widest Gap in More than 3 Decades.” CBS News, 21 Jan. 2026, https://www.cbsnews.com/news/us-wealth-gap-widest-in-three-decades-federal-reserve.
“Billionaire Wealth Jumps Three Times Faster in 2025 to Highest Peak Ever, Sparking Dangerous Political Inequality.” Oxfam International, 19 Jan. 2026, https://www.oxfam.org/en/press-releases/billionaire-wealth-jumps-three-times-faster-2025-highest-peak-ever-sparking.
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In honor of Black History Month, Marcus and Esme have two fascinating stories to share about people who helped reshape history.
Esme kicks things off with the story of Mamie Phipps Clark and Kenneth Clark, two black psychologists whose famous “doll tests” revealed how segregation shaped the self‑perception of Black children; and later provided the scientific rationale that helped the Supreme Court conclude separate educational facilities are inherently unequal in Brown vs. the Board of Education.
Marcus then tells the tale of Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, the eccentric, dramatic, and brilliant rock and blues singer who inspired the likes of Alice Cooper, Marilyn Manson, Rob Zombie, and Tom Waits (to name a few). Hawkins' outlandish songwriting and stagecraft were so convincing that audiences and critics alike mistook performance for pathology and labeled him a “mad genius.” Was he actually neurodivergent, or was he simply not granted the same grace his predecessors received for “creative mythmaking?”
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Screamin’ Jay Hawkins resources:
Screamin’ Jay Hawkins – “Time After Time.” YouTube, uploaded by UnidiscMusic, n.d., https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E12-STwavlI
ScreaminJayVEVO. “Screaming Jay Hawkins – I Put a Spell on You (Official Audio).” YouTube, uploaded by ScreaminJayVEVO, n.d., https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82cdnAUvsw8
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Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch: • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp
Epstein was a monster; there’s no doubt about that. But he wasn’t alone.
It’s important to note that no one has been charged with any crimes yet (and with the current administration in place, it might be a while), so it’s still difficult to separate actual evidence of guilt from noise. Nevertheless, the contents of the most recent release(s) of Epstein files paint a picture of a wealthy and interconnected network of monsters who either engaged in horrific crimes or simply turned a blind eye to the crimes being committed.
In this episode, Marcus and Esme call back to a previous episode (#52. The Unwritten Rules of the Elites) in an attempt to explain how a network like this forms, and why it is that seemingly no one in that network ever spoke out or attempted to put a stop to it. The short answer: when you prioritize your agenda above your ethics, morals, or even your sense of purpose, you might just find yourself in the company of monsters.
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Sources for this episode include:
Crazy Together. “52. The Unwritten Rules of the Elites!” Podbean, 15 Oct. 2025, https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-hfnaq-1994e87.
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Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch: • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp
In this week’s Hyperfocus Bonus, Marcus leads the listeners on a journey that is equal parts aquatic and an algorithmic, as he describes how he went from watching placidly peaceful underwater footage from scuba divers, to quick-cut video mash-ups of weekend sea captains submerging their expensive party boats before they can even get out on the open water.
Esme counters with her own hyperfocus detour into the world of mobile strategy games, guild drama, and the existential dread of realizing you’ve accidentally joined a community that expects things from you.
Marcus and Esme close by highlighting the story of Seamus Culleton, an Irish immigrant who has been held in ICE detention for five months. If you are moved by Seamus’s story (link in the show notes), Marcus and Esme encourage you to call your members of congress and senators and request that they support efforts to free ALL non-violent detainees in ICE facilities.
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Sources for this episode include:
Sky News. The Irishman Detained by ICE | Trump100. YouTube, uploaded by Sky News, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6fWI2PUn6E.
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Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch: • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp
In this follow‑up to last week’s episode on cruelty and dehumanization, Marcus and Esme try to figure out what happens after people buy into systems built on division, fear, and the promise of in‑group protection. Spoiler alert: those systems almost always turn on the very people who empower them.
Drawing on historical examples from American slavery, the Confederacy, and Nazi Germany, the episode traces a pattern that repeats across eras and continents: political movements that rely on dehumanization don’t just brutalize their targets, they usually harm their own supporters. Or as Esme puts it, “when you vote for cruelty, don’t be too surprised when they turn that cruelty on you.”
Marcus and Esme also lay out a multi-tier strategy for fighting back against dehumanization that relies on collective action, humanizing victims, and pointing out the motivations of the powerful people who seek to divide us.
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Sources for this episode include:
Smith, David Livingstone. Less Than Human: Why We Demean, Enslave, and Exterminate Others. St. Martin's Press, 2011.
Smith, David Livingstone. On Inhumanity: Dehumanization and How to Resist It. Oxford University Press, 2020.
Merritt, Keri Leigh. “White Poverty and the Legacy of Slavery in the US South.” Tropics of Meta, 15 May 2017, https://tropicsofmeta.com/2017/05/15/white-poverty-and-the-legacy-of-slavery-in-the-us-south.
Merritt, Keri Leigh. Masterless Men: Poor Whites and Slavery in the Antebellum South. Cambridge University Press, 2017.
Helper, Hinton Rowan. The Impending Crisis of the South: How to Meet It. Burdick Bros., 1857.
Horton, James Oliver. “Confronting Slavery.” The Civil War: 150 Years, National Park Service, 11 Feb. 2011, https://www.nps.gov/features/waso/cw150th/reflections/confronting-slavery/index.html.
Bouie, Jamelle, and Rebecca Onion. “Slavery Myths: Seven Lies, Half-Truths, and Irrelevancies People Trot Out about Slavery—Debunked.” Slate, 29 Sept. 2015, https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2015/09/slavery-myths-seven-lies-half-truths-and-irrelevancies-people-trot-out-about-slavery-debunked.html.
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In this week’s Hyperfocus Bonus, Marcus and Esme celebrate the life and work of the late, great Catherine O’Hara.
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In this episode, Marcus and Esme try to answer the question, “how is it that people are capable of being so cruel to one another?” Drawing on philosopher David Livingstone Smith’s groundbreaking work, they explore how political leaders, military institutions, and propagandists have learned to tap into some of our most primal instincts to overcome our sense of compassion and empathy through the process of dehumanization. Smith shows that dehumanization isn’t just an insult or a slur; it’s a psychological and political technology people and governments use to amass power through the fear of existential threats posed by the least likely sort of villain there is: our neighbors and community members.
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Sources for this episode include:
Smith, David Livingstone. Less Than Human: Why We Demean, Enslave, and Exterminate Others. St. Martin's Press, 2011.
Smith, David Livingstone. On Inhumanity: Dehumanization and How to Resist It. Oxford University Press, 2020.
Robinson, Nathan J. “The Extreme Danger of Dehumanizing Rhetoric.” Current Affairs, August 22, 2024. https://www.currentaffairs.org/news/the-extreme-danger-of-dehumanizing-rhetoric
Walsh, Dylan. “Imagined Otherness: Why We Dehumanize Our Political Opponents.” Phys.org, May 29, 2024. https://phys.org/news/2024-05-otherness-dehumanize-political-opponents.html.
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In this week’s Hyperfocus Bonus, Esme shares an observation from a recent classroom experience and links it to memories from her past. Marcus, sadly, jumps to offering solutions where none were requested. For his part, Marcus explains how an offhand reference in last week’s Hyperfocus Bonus has lingered in his mind and taken on a life of its own. Will he be able to set these thoughts aside, or will he follow them all the way to Broadway?
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In this episode, Marcus and Esme explore the concept(?), practice(?), theory(?) of mindfulness. What is it? Why can it be a helpful tool for regulating heightened nervous systems? They discuss its roots as part of the Noble Eightfold Path in the Buddhist religion, how it became popular in Western culture, and then dive into what might be considered the darker side of “Mindfulness”—the co-opted capitalist version that uses it as a lever (velvet cudgel?) to persuade employees into ignoring organizational red flags and inequities, grooming for compliance and productivity. Marcus then has Esme read a “mindfulness meditation” he’s written from the perspective of corporate culture (if they were actually transparent in their goals). It’s a ride! Come join us, on Crazy Together!
Sources for this episode include:
5 Minute Mindfulness Meditation. YouTube, uploaded by Great Meditation, 4 years ago, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssss7V1_eyA.
Carter, Thom James. “Corporate ‘Mindfulness’ Programs Are an Abomination.” Current Affairs, 06 March 2021, https://www.currentaffairs.org/news/2021/03/corporate-mindfulness-programs-are-an-abomination
Purser, Ronald. “The Mindfulness Conspiracy.” The Guardian, 14 June 2019, https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/14/the-mindfulness-conspiracy-capitalist-spirituality.
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In this week’s Hyperfocus Bonus, Marcus and Esme celebrate the dawn of a new era where Irish actors get to use their own accents in sci-fi/fantasy movies and tv shows. Also, Esme shares an update about her own adventures in the real world.
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