Feel Better

In this Ask Charlotte episode of the Feel Better Podcast, we’re diving into some questions I've been asked by listeners about parenting neurodivergent kids. ✨ I explore:1) What to do when you’ve tried everything and are still facing epic meltdowns. 2) How to support siblings who live in the shadow of their neurodivergent brother or sister. 3) Ways to protect your own mental health while parenting through the challenges. If you’re in the trenches with exhaustion, meltdowns, and overwhelm—or if you’re looking for ways to keep the whole family thriving—this episode is for you. Parenting neurodivergent kids is tough, but you’re not alone, and there are practical strategies, mindsets, and supports that can help lighten the load.💬 Want to submit a question for a future Ask Charlotte episode?You can:Drop it in the weekly Instagram Stories question box (@charlottethecounsellor)Use the anonymous link in my bio or the show notesOr visit charlottecummings.nzThanks for trusting me with your questions—I hope this conversation helps you feel seen, supported, and a little more resourced for the road ahead.

Family estrangement is far more common than most people realise — and it’s one of the toughest things to navigate. In this episode, I talk about:Why estrangement is so complex and full of grief. The hard truth: nobody has a “right” to us, and we don’t automatically have a right to them.Boundaries vs. flexibility — why estrangement is always a grey area. How to handle triggers around birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries.Getting your partner on board and preparing for tricky conversations with extended family.The role of “unbearable feelings” in family breakdowns, and how reflecting on these can open a path forward.If your family has been touched by estrangement, I hope this episode brings you some understanding, solidarity, and tools to navigate the grief and the possibility of change.Find more support and resources on Instagram @charlottethecounsellor or at charlottecummings.nz.

In this episode of Ask Charlotte, I'm diving into your questions about mental health. I answer: 1) What is PMDD? 2) How do I parent while struggling with my mental health? Including how to talk to kids about what's happening. 3) How do I support my partner while they're struggling with their mental health? These are such important conversations, and I hope you’ll find something here that gives you comfort, clarity, or just the sense that you’re not alone in what you’re going through.If you’d like to send in a question for a future episode, you’ll find the anonymous link in my Instagram bio or over at charlottecummings.nz.

Parenting neurodivergent kids can be both incredibly challenging and deeply meaningful. In this episode of the Feel Better Podcast, I share openly from my own experience of raising children in a neurodiverse household.I talk about:Why the way you see neurodivergence matters — shifting from deficit to recognising gifts.The grief parents carry when life doesn’t look as expected, and how to process it.Practical lessons I’ve learnt: making peace with meltdowns, understanding behaviour as communication, advocating without guilt, and letting go of comparisons.Why self-care in micro-moments is essential, and how to nurture your relationship even when it feels impossible.This is a real, compassionate look at the hard stuff — but also the beauty, depth, and unexpected gifts that parenting neurodivergent children can bring.If you’re in the trenches right now, I want you to know you’re not alone.👉 Follow me on Instagram @charlottethecounsellor👉 Free resources: charlottecummings.nzAND... If your relationship is struggling under the pressure of parenting neurodivergent kids, don't forget to check out my programme - Give Me 10 Minutes. Six weeks of therapy input for busy couples who can't make it to therapy!

In this episode of Ask Charlotte, part of the Feel Better Podcast, I continue the theme of building a healthier relationship with yourself by answering three powerful listener questions:How do I make peace with my weaknesses, faults, and failures?I share ways to bring compassion to your past, capture the lessons you’ve learned, and balance your strengths and weaknesses so you can move forward with greater peace.How do I feel good enough?I talk about why self-worth isn’t fixed and how liking yourself is something you can actively build. I draw on narrative therapy, reflect on my own journey, and introduce my “make your own cake” analogy. How do I put myself first?I explore how to reconnect with your own desires and goals, strengthen negotiation skills, work through emotional barriers, and build routines that support you. I also challenge the idea that self-care is only about being better for others—it matters because you matter.This episode is packed with practical strategies, personal reflections, and compassionate reminders. My hope is that it encourages you to treat yourself with more kindness, and to believe that you are TOTALLY worthy of care and attention.

Want more connection in your relationship? Do these things.Feeling distant from your partner? You’re not alone. Disconnection is one of the most common challenges couples face—but the good news is, there are simple, practical ways to restore closeness.In this episode of the Feel Better Podcast, I share research-backed strategies and everyday habits that can bring you and your partner closer. From understanding “bids” for connection, to creating meaningful daily rituals, ways to share deeper feelings, to putting away your phone and finding small, enjoyable moments together—this is your roadmap to feeling more connected in your relationship.You’ll learn:The Gottman Institute’s concept of bids and why they’re game-changing.Why little rituals like greetings, hugs, and check-ins matter more than you think.How to create rhythms of connection that work in real life (not just in theory).Ways to share feelings (not just facts) to deepen intimacy.How to smooth out conflict so it doesn’t erode your closeness.If you’re ready to feel more like a team again, this episode will give you practical reminders and encouragement to reset and reconnect.✨ Want to go further? Check out my couples’ program Give Me 10 Minutes—a simple, six-week reset for your relationship. Find it at charlottecummings.nz.

🌿 How do I speak to myself in a kinder way?💭 How do I begin to heal from purity culture?⏳ And what do I do with my precious time away from kids and my spouse?These are the three big (and very real) questions I’m answering in today’s Ask Charlotte episode of the Feel Better podcast — all sent in through my recent question box on your relationship with yourself 💛Together we’ll explore:✨ How to break the habit of negative self‑talk and replace it with real, grounded reassurance✨ What recovery from purity culture can look like, including reclaiming your relationship with your body and your beliefs✨ Practical ideas for using your alone time without guilt — and how to rediscover what actually feels good for youThis episode is all about strengthening your relationship with yourself so that you can show up in life with more clarity, self‑compassion, and energy.🎧 Tune in now on the Feel Better podcast — let’s talk about what it really takes to feel better in your everyday life.

💔 Working on your relationship can feel exhausting — like nothing’s working and everything is harder than it should be. But there is a way through.In today’s Feel Better podcast episode, I’m giving you a pep talk filled with practical ways to stay hopeful while your relationship is in the thick of change. You’ll learn how to:💛 Spot the strengths you and your partner each bring to the table💛 Build a support system around you💛 Break down change into small, doable steps💛 Map out what really needs work (instead of staying stuck in vague “we need better communication” loops)💛 Keep hope alive by drawing on stories of others who’ve made big changesThis episode is all about helping you hold on to hope, find reassurance, and keep steady while you do the work of building a stronger future together.🎧 Tune in now on the Feel Better podcast — your reminder that change is possible and relationships can be worth the work.

Welcome to Ask Charlotte - the fortnightly series within the Feel Better Podcast, where I answer listener questions. In this episode, I answer three brave listener questions about love, betrayal, and staying connected in marriage.💔 Question One: Can couples recover from betrayal?❓ Question Two: How do you decide whether to stay or leave?🥀 Question Three: What if I feel so emotionally detached that intimacy gives me the “ick”?I share practical advice, hopeful stories, and compassionate insights — from rebuilding trust after infidelity, to setting clear markers of change, to rediscovering emotional needs and intimacy.Whether you’re navigating betrayal, wondering if you should stay, or feeling stuck in disconnection, this episode offers hope, guidance, and a way forward.

Ep. 92 – How to Build a Life That Feels as Good as It LooksIt’s easy to chase a life that looks successful — the job, the house, the highlight reel. But what if the outside doesn’t match how you feel on the inside?In this episode, Charlotte explores the success paradox — the gap between outward appearances and our internal wellbeing — and what actually creates lasting happiness. From the science of relationships to the role of authenticity, self-compassion, and everyday moments of joy, this is a must-listen if you’re ready to do a gentle audit of your life.🎯 Topics covered:The danger of chasing "candy hit" happinessWhy relationships matter more than we realiseLiving in alignment with your valuesBuilding purpose into your daily lifeHow to stop comparing and start connectingWhy moments > milestonesReflective questions to help you recalibrate✨ Plus, get the free downloadable reflection questions mentioned in the episode at charlottecummings.nz

Well, if you've been following along lately you'll know that my family and I have moved towns. My kids have moved schools. We're starting over in a new place where we know hardly anyone! It's exciting, but it's also a bit overwhelming and some days I hate it and wonder what we've done! It's been a big change. And people make big changes all the time - new jobs, going back to study, moving... Come along and join me for this episode where I share some tips for how to support yourself through a big change. You might have change afoot in your own life, or just want to listen and tuck these ideas away for the future. Enjoy!

Many parents express frustration with getting their child talking about their feelings. You ask how their day went. Their response: "fine". You try to ask questions about school, friends, how they feel about things, and it's like pulling teeth. Well, I'm here to help you up your game when it comes to getting your child talking! This episode has a bit of a focus around getting them talking about their day, because that's a fundamental step in getting them talking generally about feelings. But, the key goal is getting your child to be good at talking about feelings in general. Come and see what you can learn and try. Get ready too for a little personal challenge - because it's hidden in there for you ;)

Are you in a relationship? Come and join me for this episode where I share seven key issues I see in couples who come to me for counselling. This episode will help you reflect on where you might want to bring some focus in your relationship. There's also a free download that goes with this episode, which is designed to support you and your partner to accurately identify and agree on 'What's wrong' in your relationship - the starting point of making anything better!

Holding realistic expectations for ourselves is a very real challenge. Day jobs, side hustles, community commitments, social lives, families, and OURSELVES! It's a lot to juggle. In this episode I offer some advice on how to hold realistic expectations for yourself. Spoiler: this is something I struggle with and so I have a few work arounds for myself that I've refined over the years, that make a huge difference. Come and join me and learn how to protect yourself from unrealistic expectations!

The mental load refers to the cognitive and emotional load of 'holding everything together' in our day to day lives - constantly thinking ahead, managing, planning, balancing needs. This concept names a reality of our lives. But, then what? If you want to move forward with re-balancing the mental load in your life, particularly if you're in a relationship, or you're a parent, then this episode is for you. I explore: - What the mental load actually demands of your brain - How the mental load might relate to your own 'issues' - Systems - How to get motivated to do things differently Also, there is a free resource you can use to work through re-balancing the mental load. It's available at www.charlottecummings.nz

Something that often becomes apparent in my work with clients is that their relationship with their feelings is a problem. And behind this problematic relationship with their feelings is this - they don't perceive their feelings as GOOD. Feelings get in the way, they're overwhelming, they're a waste of time, or the person worries they might end up like their mother/father/sibling whose response to their feelings caused damage... So, this episode is my effort at shifting how you perceive your feelings. Come and join me to explore what's good about feelings!

In some of my work with clients recently, I've recognise that the art and science of apology has been an area where many people are falling over. You're a human. You're going to make mistakes. Things are going to land for people in a way that creates an impact you never intended at times. You'll offend, hurt, and get people offside. So, how do we best put things right? In this episode I step you through the five Languages of Apology (Dr Gary Chapman's model - the creator of the Five Love Languages). And, I offer some of my general observations about what makes an apology go well. This will have particular benefit for partner relationships, though there is also lots of content here that will be applicable to other settings too - with kids, friendships and co-workers. Enjoy!

I live in the same real world that you do! Life happens, challenges some along, and stress rises. In this episode, I step you through how I'm dealing with a current situation in my life - addressing the triggers, looking after myself, and bringing focus to my emotional wellbeing through it all.

It's back to school time in New Zealand, and for many kids that means going back to some really tough social challenges in the school environment, including bullying.Parents being equipped to respond confidently when their child is experiencing bullying is super important. There are LOTS of things you can do to support your child. Join me for this episode, and come away feeling empowered that you have some tools to help your child.

Dopamine Addiction is a buzz phrase these days, but it is an important concept to understand when we live in a world filled with notifications, addictive foods, and screens! In this episode I share about the concept of Dopamine Addiction, why it matters, and what you can do if you find yourself needing a re-set.