Shit, my friend says!

这一集毫不夸张的说，简直差一点就变成了Linsey的免费心理诊疗。Danni带我们认识什么是严厉的爱，严厉的爱并不是凶巴巴，并不是暴力，真正的严厉的爱，是出于爱，为对方考虑，给对方空间成长。虽然我们以家庭教育开头，但成年人何尝不需要严厉的爱呢。这中间甚至夹杂了Linsey认为的严厉的爱是什么样子，最后被证明那应该可以算是一次童年的创伤。在这个对话里，我们可以学到很多以往不会去思考的知识点，比如我们逗小孩的游戏，里面居然很奇怪的在帮助孩子认识这个世界！欢迎大家收听转发并点赞！In this episode, it’s no exaggeration to say that it almost turned into Linsey’s free therapy session.Danni takes us on a journey to understand what tough love truly means. Tough love isn’t about being harsh or aggressive — it comes from care, from the intention to give someone space to grow.Although we started the conversation with parenting, adults also need tough love in their own ways. Along the way, Linsey shared what she thought “tough love” was, only to realize later that it might actually be linked to a childhood trauma.In this dialogue, we uncover many fascinating insights that people don’t usually think about — like how the simple games we play with children can strangely help them make sense of the world!Tune in, share, and give it a like! 

这期节目是一场小小的关于oversharing的辩论， Michael和Mark就这个话题进行了友好的辩论，中间试图让对方加入自己的立场的尝试让人忍俊不禁，Linsey和Danni更像是两颗墙头草，从双方观点中取其精华。Oversharing在现在的时代似乎不再是一个问题，无论是社交媒体还是真实的生活圈子，都有用Oversharing获取别人肯定和关注的时刻，隐私在当代似乎是一件可有可无的事情，但是如果深入探讨，你会发现所谓“做真实的自己”的愿望，都有会无数种前提。我应该分享多少？到底多少是多？多少是少？在Michael和Mark的辩论中，或许你能找到你的答案。另外，这一期节目算是我们播客的特别篇，我们做播客满一周年啦！感谢所有听众的支持和喜爱，也感谢所有嘉宾们的倾力支持！希望来年我们做的更好！This episode is a lighthearted debate about oversharing. Michael and Mark engaged in a friendly discussion, each trying—sometimes hilariously—to persuade the other to join their side. Linsey and Danni, on the other hand, acted like charming fence-sitters, picking out the best points from both perspectives.In today’s world, oversharing no longer seems to be much of a problem. Whether on social media or in real life, we often share a little too much in hopes of gaining recognition and attention. Privacy feels almost optional nowadays. But if you take a closer look, you’ll realize that the idea of “being authentic” always comes with hidden conditions.How much should we share? What’s considered too much—or too little?Perhaps you’ll find your own answer somewhere in Michael and Mark’s debate.By the way, this episode is also a special one—it marks our first anniversary!We’re deeply grateful to all our listeners for the love and support, and to all the amazing guests who’ve joined us along the way. Here’s to another year of growth and great conversations! 

这一集我们邀请了金属歌手Kris聊了一下愤怒管理。在社交媒体和社会意识的快速发展之下，现在的人类对于愤怒也有着不一样的管理方式。就如Danni所说，活在当下，就有如七个人把你往七个不同的方向拉扯，同时又想把你局限于一个小小盒子，有时候这真的很难让人喘息。Kris在进行金属乐队的经营和创作之前，就已经用比较有创意的方式去进行愤怒管理，这个愤怒要不要发出来，要不要憋回去，全靠自己自洽，片尾由Kris的乐队Jahil制作的歌曲“Let it rip“或许能帮助一些愤怒而无法言说的人类找到答案。In this episode, we invited metal singer Kris to talk about anger management. With the rapid growth of social media and social awareness, people today handle anger in very different ways. As Danni said, living in the present often feels like being pulled in seven different directions at once, while still being confined to a tiny box—it can be suffocating at times. Before running and creating for his metal band, Kris had already been exploring creative ways of managing anger. Whether to let the anger out or bottle it up depends entirely on one’s own sense of balance. At the end of the episode, we share a song by Kris’s band, Jahil, titled “Let It Rip.” It might help those who struggle with unspoken anger find some answers.Kris 的抖音ID：33475439182

这一期的话题和我们之前的一期节目“Life of death, death of life”相呼应，这一次我们讲了“生”。就在上一集节目发出后第二天，Jojo 和 Mark一夜之间就真的成了父母。无论是他们夫妇本人，或者是观众，在收听下半集节目的时候，或许就有了一个不太一样的心态。在这一集里，我们聊了自己的叛逆，因此我们是不是可以对孩子的“叛逆”有更多的容忍。至于说要成为什么样的父母？是不是有一个范本？或者新一代的父母是不是一定就比上一代更好？对着这个事情，Jojo和Mark其实给出了意料之外的答案。那么这对模范夫妇是百分之百准备好了么？其实也没有，有句古话这么说：兵来将挡，水来土堰。这对夫妇互相协作，一起解决生活中的各种问题，何尝不是人生中最有意思的事情呢？This episode’s topic echoes one of our previous shows, “Life of Death, Death of Life” — but this time, we’re talking about “life.” Just a day after our last episode was released, Jojo and Mark literally became parents overnight. Whether it’s for them as a couple, or for the audience, listening to the second half of this two-part program might feel a little different now.In this episode, we talked about our own rebellious years, and wondered if that might make us more tolerant of “rebellion” in our children. As for what kind of parents one should be — is there a perfect model? Does being part of a new generation automatically make someone a better parent than the last? On this, Jojo and Mark gave some unexpected answers.And are this “model couple” one hundred percent ready? Not exactly. There’s an old saying: When the soldiers come, use generals to block them; when the flood comes, use earth to stop it. For Jojo and Mark, working together to tackle all kinds of challenges in life might just be one of the most interesting parts of the journey.JOJO’s Douyin ID: JoJo_somethingMark’s Douyin ID: 66448307009

这一期的话题和我们之前的一期节目“Life of death, death of life”相呼应，这一次我们讲了“生”。我们邀请了即将在八月迎来新家庭成员的一对夫妇，JOJO以及Mark, 请他们给大家讲述了他们准备迎接家庭新成员的一切心路历程。在采访和录制的过程里，Linsey惊叹原来真的有“一切准备就绪”的父母，带着忐忑的心情，等待并同时也准备着孩子的到来。我们聊了这对甜蜜夫妻在发现怀孕后跌宕起伏的心情，他们的忧虑，以及他们对为人父母这件事情的理解和反思。从这个轻松的对谈中我们或许能够感受到，我们对于“生”的概念，是更加乐观和积极的，是充满了愿望的，是乐观的。This episode echoes a previous one titled “Life of Death, Death of Life”—but this time, we talk about birth.We invited a couple, Jojo and Mark, who are expecting a new family member this August. They shared with us their emotional journey as they prepare to welcome their child.During the interview and recording, Linsey was amazed to discover that there truly are parents who seem “fully prepared”—waiting with both anticipation and uncertainty, while getting everything ready for the baby’s arrival.We talked about the emotional ups and downs Jojo and Mark experienced after finding out they were pregnant—their worries, their hopes, and their reflections on what it means to become parents.Through this lighthearted yet heartfelt conversation, we may begin to sense that our understanding of “life” is filled with hope, dreams, and a quiet kind of optimism.JOJO’s Douyin ID: JoJo_somethingMark’s Douyin ID: 66448307009

这是关于美国高中生活的下半集，这一集我们聊了校园安全问题，Wini面临的其实挺可怕，是有可能发生的枪击事件，而在国内的我们面临的是不一样的挑战，比如突如其来的变故和责任。除此之外我们还聊了聊选择教师这个职业的困惑以及阶段性的心得，我们的理解真的非常不一样。This is the second part of our conversation about American high school life. In this episode, we talked about campus safety. What Wini has faced is actually quite frightening — the very real possibility of a school shooting. Meanwhile, here in China, we face different challenges, such as sudden life changes and heavy responsibilities. We also discussed the confusion and reflections we’ve had about choosing teaching as a profession. Our understandings of it turned out to be very different.Wini’’s Douyin ID: WinifredYu

这一期是三个老师的聚会，Linsey是在中国教英文的中国籍老师，Danni是在中国教英文的美国籍老师，Wini是在美国教英文的美籍华人老师，我们一起谈论了美国高中的生态是否真如影视剧一样充满了故事，mean girl 是不是真的那么mean？美高的食物链怎么排序？美高作息时间是否真如我们看到的一样轻松？美高获得学业成就需不需要那么卷？这一话题分成两个部分，以便带大家在wini老师的介绍下对美高生活有一个不一样的理解。This episode is a gathering of three teachers: Linsey, a Chinese national teaching English in China; Danni, an American teaching English in China; and Wini, a Chinese-American teaching English in the U.S. Together, we discussed whether American high schools are really as full of drama as portrayed in movies and TV shows. Are “mean girls” truly that mean? How does the social hierarchy work in American high schools? Is their daily schedule really as relaxed as it seems? And how intense is the academic competition? This topic is divided into two parts to give listeners a different perspective on American high school life, guided by teacher Wini’s insights.Wini’’s Douyin ID: WinifredYu

这一期节目我们和“洞见 Into the Void” 进行了联动，节目语言为中文。Linsey和学哲学出身的Shen Lee就原生家庭以及家庭中的情绪劳动进行了一场讨论。孩子是不是需要去分担成年人的情绪压力？人类成长过程中是不是曾几何时也被当作工具？“懂事”这个要求对孩子是不是一个合理的要求？来听听我们的讨论吧！Shen Lee老師的Podcast：洞见 Into the VoidIn this episode, we collaborated with “Into the Void.”The conversation is conducted in Mandarin.Linsey and Shen Lee, who has a background in philosophy, dive into the topics of family of origin and emotional labor within the household.Do children need to take on the emotional burden of adults?At some point in our development, were we treated more like tools than individuals?Is it truly reasonable to expect children to be “mature” and “understanding”?Come listen to our discussion.

“夹子音”在互联网上简直是人憎鬼厌，一群嚷嚷着要“keep it real”的人类长时间地对“夹子音”进行着讨伐，但是“夹子音”有它的受众，夹一下矛盾化解，夹一下枯木逢春！这一期我们邀请了天生就是这个声音的Jeanette进行了一场对谈，Michael也参与其中，我们谈出了我们对于这个声音的偏见，发现了我们身上隐约存在的厌女情结。除此之外，我们谈及了刻板印象是否真的能被消弭。On the internet, the “Coquettish” (aka “夹子音” in Chinese) gets endless hate — people are quick to mock it, claiming they just want to “keep it real.” But here’s the twist: this voice has an audience. Sometimes, a little “Coquettish” smooths over tension; sometimes, it brings life to dry conversations.In this episode, we invited Jeanette, who naturally speaks this way, to join us for a real talk. Michael was with us too. Together, we unpacked our own biases toward this voice — and unexpectedly, stumbled upon the traces of internalized misogyny within ourselves.We also explored a bigger question: Can stereotypes like this one ever really be erased?

这一集是很特殊的一集，我们发起了一个“给自己写悼词”的活动，参与活动的朋友们亲笔写了自己的悼词并亲自朗读，每个参与者的性格和对人生的理解都不一样，从每个朋友的悼词里，你看出什么样的差异了呢？我们在这里附上了每个参与者悼词的文稿，字里行间，你会读出怎样的心绪？节目的最后，我们附上了Sippy翻唱的歌曲“both sides now”,可能正如歌词所写：现在我也要看生活的两面无论胜利还是失败 仔细思量忽然想起它曾给我的美好幻想我是否从来没有懂得过它This episode is a special one — we launched an activity called “Writing Your Own Eulogy.” Participants wrote and read their own eulogies aloud. Each person brought their unique personality and perspective on life into their writing. What differences can you see between them?We’ve included the full text of each eulogy here. As you read between the lines, what emotions do you pick up on?To close the episode, we’ve added a cover of the song “Both Sides Now” by Sippy — perhaps, just as the lyrics say…I've looked at life from both sides now From win and lose and still somehow It's life’s illusions I recall I really don't know life at allMark’s eulogyI had always wished that I would live forever. But today, as you gather here, a poignant testament to the life I cherished, my wish, in its most literal sense, remains a sweet, unfulfilled dream. And so, I offer these words, this eulogy, as another heartfelt attempt to weave myself into the tapestry of your memories, hoping to live a little longer in the echoes of your hearts.I wanted to live forever, because I was blessed with a husband whose love was a steadfast anchor in the unpredictable seas of life. He patiently navigated the sometimes turbulent waters of my stubbornness and the sharp edges of my perfectionism. Hand in hand, we explored the culinary world, from the gleaming lights of Michelin stars to the hidden gems of hole-in-the-wall eateries. He was my unwavering protector on every adventure, both on well-trodden paths and the thrilling detours of life. He was, quite simply, the very breath of my love. So, with a heart overflowing with him, tell me, why would I willingly step into another world where his light doesn't shine?I wanted to live forever, because my life was illuminated by the radiant presence of four extraordinary children. Marcella, my firstborn, was the embodiment of the princess I held within, her spirited nature, a delightful echo of my own, proving that indeed, what goes around, comes around. Alex, my sunshine boy, was a constant reminder of the simple, profound joy of each passing day, a testament to a life lived fully and gratefully. Marco, with his boundless curiosity, greeted the world with a question, his first complete sentence a charmingly inquisitive, 'What is this?' And so, I stand here, on the precipice of the great 'what is life?', feeling I've caught a fleeting glimpse of its beautiful complexity today. And then there's my youngest, my precious Matteo. Though his world unfolded along a unique spectrum, he gifted me the most profound truth: LOVE, in its purest form, is the only compass we truly need. So, my loves, my reasons for being, tell me, how could I embrace a world that doesn't hold the warmth of your embrace?I wanted to live forever, because I was cradled by the unwavering love and support of two remarkable parents. How could the memory fade of those lean times, when a single egg, was carefully divided between my brother and me, while Mom, with selfless love, went without? How could I ever forget the years Dad spent toiling alone in the distant City of New York, his sacrifices woven into every dollar sent home, a testament to his unwavering commitment? So, my guiding stars, tell me, how could I journey to a new realm without the comforting light of your love?I wanted to live forever, because my life was enriched by a constellation of incredible friends, each one a keeper of cherished memories. Martinez, can you still feel the youthful abandon of that first, slightly mortifying, face-plant between your enormous breasts? Glenn and Pete, do you still roar with laughter remembering the nail-biting games that forged a Yankees Dynasty and heralded a Giants Era? Julio, does the memory still make you chuckle, the heroic journey of navigating my very intoxicated self home after a full night of bar hopping? And Zerlina, my soul sister, can you still feel the echoes of all the laughter that dried our teenage tears and the tears that punctuated our deepest joys? And to all of you gathered here today, as you now turn the pages of our shared history in your minds, each memory a precious gem, tell me, how could I willingly leave behind the radiant warmth of your camaraderie?My dearest husband, my vibrant children, my steadfast parents, my cherished friends, please, don't draw too close today, for I can no longer reach out to brush away the tears that may trace paths down your faces. Instead, I ask you to be strong, not just in my memory, but for yourselves. For you are the strong, resilient bows, and I, in spirit, will be the living arrow, launched forth from your love, soaring through time, forever alive in the stories you tell and the love you carry in your hearts.Eleven’s Eulogy:Dear all, at long last, I’ve reached a state of serenity toward death. Well, given the fact that I’m already laid out here, "serenity" seems rather... situationally appropriate, doesn’t it?If you’ve still bothered to show up here and endure my final ramblings, you’re undoubtedly my ride-or-dies. Thanks for being here to see me off on this last part of the journey.Was my life long or short? It is hard to say. I came, I glanced, and now—permission granted or not—I’ll be taking my exit.All things considered, I’m... content. Felt like I checked off most items on the bucket list. Life being what it is—80% mess, 20% magic—whatever’s left undone can stay that way.I thought I’d cling to regrets, to people, to unfinished business. But hey, horizontal status achieved. Earthly dramas? No longer my circus, and definitely, not my monkeys.My share of worries has dissolved. As for yours, my dear friends, sorry, but I’m officially clocked out.Rick’s eulogyHey, everyone. It’s strange picturing all of you here, gathered to say goodbye to me. I'm so grateful you came though. It means the world to me to think that I matter to you. I wanted to write this myself. Talk to you one last time and share what's in my heart before I go. I've always thought life is about the little things you know, not big wins or fancy stuff, but the moment best stick with you like the smell of the rain on a summer evening, or the way of good laugh with your friends. I try to be someone who showed up for the people. Maybe I didn't always get it right. God knows I could be stubborn or lose my temper over dumb things like, you know, misplace the keys, but I hope you found my love. I wish I made you feel seen whether we were family, friends or just passing through each other's life. There’s this one day I kept thinking about I was, you know, hanging around when my friends were one afternoon. We didn't say much, but it felt like we said everything. I think that's who I was, someone who found magic in those quiet in-between moments, another time. I remember staying up all night to finish tasks with my loved ones. Those messes, those giggles, they were my treasures. Hope you got some of those memories with me too. Life through curve balls. I have my shares of dark days. Times I've felt lost or hurt. Or like I let people down, but I kept going. Not because I was some hero, but because I believed in second chances. I learnt to forgive myself to keep my heart open, even when it's done. If I ever helped you through a rough patch, even just by listening over a lukewarm coffee, know that you helped me, you were my acre, my reason to try it again. Looking back, I'm proud of a few things, I suit up or what I thought it was right, even when my voice shook. I chased dreams, even the ones that slipped away and I loved with everything I had. Messy, full throttle, no holding back love. If I can leave you with anything, it’s this: don’t wait to say I love you, hug tighter, dance in the kitchen, enjoy your life even if you're terrible at it right? Life's too short for regrets.As I write this, I'm thinking about you all. Your faces, quirks and how you made my life brighter, and my peace, knowing we share something real, even for a moment. I’m not gone, you know. Look for me in a way. The leaves rustle when I saw hits just right. Or when you feel a little less alone, that's me cheering you on. Live big for me, take risks, be kind, make a mess and laugh through it. Thank you for being my people. I love you more than words can hold.Shen Lee’s eulogyI’m gone.Not that I’ve gone somewhere—just that I’m no longer here.If you’re listening,or if you just happened to stumble upon these words,that’s okay.I don’t really believe anyone can truly “remember” anyone for very long.Human memory is like steam on a bathroom mirror:at first it seems to take shape,and then it vanishes without a trace.The body has finally stopped its useless struggle.The clamor of existence has faded into silence.I’ve had good coffee,and I’ve had coffee that was hard to swallow.Both kept me alive.I’ve loved others,and I’ve hated myself.Sometimes, both at once.Even if everything was random, meaningless,I still chose to wake up each day,drink coffee,and chat with my cat.Sometimes I wondered,if the world truly cared about us,shouldn’t it have given us a sign?But it didn’t.And maybe that’s fairat least we were all equally alone.I never set out to change the world.I didn’t even really believe I could.But I tried not to be too cruel to the people around me.That was one of the ways I resisted the void.If all of this was just a random accident,then I did my best not to make the accident worse.That’s enough.I was defeated by the universe,but I won a cup of coffee.I knew I wouldn’t be saved in this life,but I wasn’t trying to escape it either.I didn’t conquer nihilism.I simply learned to live with it.I was born ignorant, and I died without a sound.My life had no ultimate meaning.But like that man who keeps pushing a stone up the hilleven knowing it will rol

这一集可能是很“晦气”的一集，我们聊到了自己的死亡。我们聊到了自己的葬礼，还和朋友们开展了一个有意思的活动：写自己的悼词。觉得这个话题晦气的朋友们可能会觉得，“生”是积极的，而“死”是负面的，但实际上，死亡是“应该的”，是必然的，我们的葬礼可以是一个对于“生”的庆祝，Micheal和Danni的话看似离经叛道，但每一句都是对“生”的热爱。死亡是物理生命的终结，但不会是爱的终结，去听听我们的悼词吧！你们听到的是绝望还是希望？是“生”还是“死”呢？This episode might feel a bit “inauspicious” — because we talked about our own deaths.We discussed our own funerals and even did something interesting with our friends: we wrote our own eulogies. Some listeners might think this topic is gloomy, because “life” feels positive, while “death” feels negative. But in reality, death is natural — it’s inevitable. And a funeral can actually be a celebration of life.What Micheal and Danni shared might sound unconventional, even rebellious, but every word was an expression of their love for life.Death is the end of physical existence, but it is not the end of love.Go listen to our eulogies.What do you hear in them — despair or hope?Do you feel life, or death?

死亡是一个我们无法回避却最终无论如何要面对的话题。这个话题在不同文化背景之下，似乎有不一样的轻重。我们再次邀请了Micheal来谈论这个话题，他是我们朋友圈子里甚至能嘲笑死亡的人，希望他的智慧能帮助我们相对轻快地看待死亡，我们的节目分成了上下两集，上集主要关于怎么面对亲人朋友的死亡，我们细聊了放手和悔恨，Danni在节目里真情流露，道出一部分人隐秘的心事，对别人爱的越深，面对他们的死亡是不是痛苦呢？我们无法在节目里给出答案，我们只能粗略地对死亡这件事进行一点结构，希望听节目的你能够跟我们说说你的想法，你放开手了吗？你的悔恨得到缓解了吗？Death is a topic we cannot avoid and must ultimately face.This subject carries different weight across various cultural contexts.We’ve invited Micheal once again to talk about it — someone in our circle who can even joke about death. We hope his insight can help us view death with a bit more lightness.This episode is split into two parts.In the first part, we focus on how to deal with the death of loved ones — family and friends. We talked in depth about letting go and the feeling of regret. Danni opened up emotionally in the show, revealing a deeply personal truth that many may relate to: the more we love someone, does their death hurt us more?We don’t have definitive answers — all we can do is offer a rough framework to think about death.To those of you listening:Have you been able to let go?Has your regret eased?We’d love to hear your thoughts.

这一集我们邀请了来自于著名数字游民聚集地的Sippy和我们聊了一下数字游民的生活方式以及舒适区，Linsey认为去当一个数字游民意味着跨出舒适区前往未知的诸多挑战，而Danni认为每个人对于舒适区的定义不尽相同，对于数字游民而言，呆在一个完全陌生的地方已经是呆在了他们的舒适区。数字游民这个生活方式在当代简直可以说是让很多爱旅游且精通数码产品的人向往的生活方式，这个生活方式你们会选择吗？留下你的评论吧！Sippy的小红书账号：6115806065In this episode, we invited Sippy, who comes from a famous digital nomad hub, to chat with us about the digital nomad lifestyle and the idea of comfort zones. Linsey believes that becoming a digital nomad means stepping out of your comfort zone and facing many unknown challenges, while Danni thinks that everyone defines their comfort zone differently — for digital nomads, staying in a completely unfamiliar place might already be within their comfort zone.The digital nomad lifestyle has become a dream for many travel enthusiasts who are also tech-savvy. Would you choose this lifestyle? Leave us a comment and let us know!Sippy’s Rednote account：6115806065

这一期更年期的话题继续，作为女性，我们的女性长辈默默地度过了她们的更年期，几乎每一个成年人都经历过“疯女人”一般的女性长辈，或者对女性长辈在经历更年期的很多新的习惯缺少共情。但是女性长辈真的变成了“疯女人”了吗？我们现在是不是能够对她们的情绪变化有更多的认知？除此之外，经历完更年期，失去了性欲以及月经，我们会对自己的女性身份认同产生变化吗？我们浅浅地聊了一聊这个巨大的话题，至少我们在讨论的过程中得到了自洽。或许让经历更年期的女性摆脱“疯女人”的污名还需要很久，但是至少在这一集的讨论中，我们知道了“疯女人”之所以是“疯女人”的原因。留下你的评论！感谢你的收听！This episode continues our conversation on menopause. As women, we’ve seen how our female elders quietly went through their own menopausal transitions. Almost every adult has experienced having a female elder who seemed like a “crazy woman” during that time, or lacked empathy for the many new habits these women developed. But did our female elders really become “crazy women”? Are we now more capable of understanding the emotional shifts they went through?Beyond that, after menopause—when sexual desire fades and menstruation stops—do we begin to experience a shift in how we identify with our womanhood?We lightly touched on this vast topic, and at the very least, found some inner clarity in the process. It might still take a long time for women going through menopause to be freed from the stigma of being labeled “crazy,” but in this episode, we explored the reasons behind why the “crazy woman” label exists in the first place.Leave us a comment and thank you for listening!

这一集节目简直是一个40+的吐槽大会，41岁的Linsey，49岁的Danni以及43岁的Juju，从最肤浅的容貌变化，因为新陈代谢变慢而难以保持的体重，聊到变老这件事情对我们心态的冲击。我们正在学会接受人生进入了新的阶段，也会因为自己尚未完全进化的心态而时不时觉得纠结。Juju和Danni对变老这件事情明显更加乐观，当她们提出要接受新的人生阶段的新“标准”的时候，不知道会有多少人觉得释然。节目被分成了两个部分，下一周更新广大中年人闻之色变的更年期。希望正在变老的大家也能够在评论区留下你们的感受，谢谢大家！This episode is practically a venting session for those over 40. Linsey (41), Danni (49), and Juju (43) discuss everything from the most superficial changes in appearance and the struggle to maintain weight due to a slower metabolism to the mental impact of aging. We’re learning to accept that life has entered a new phase, while occasionally feeling conflicted as our mindset hasn’t fully adapted yet.Juju and Danni seem to be more optimistic about aging, and when they talk about embracing new “standards” for this stage of life, I wonder how many people will feel a sense of relief. The episode is split into two parts, with the second part airing next week, focusing on menopause—a topic that often makes middle-aged folks break out in a cold sweat.To everyone who’s also going through the process of aging, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. Thank you all!

这一集是Danni和Linsey的一期杂谈，从谈论互联网上盛行的“做一个情绪稳定的人” 开始，我们试图去理解这句话不被曲解的意义。而做一个情绪稳定的人又何其难！“不以物喜，不以己悲”是需要强大的心理能量以及清楚的头脑才能勉强接近的目标。而要达到这个目标，真正的从改变自己的思维方式开始，于是Danni详细地解释了“Rewiring your brain”到底怎么进行实际的操作。中间不乏我们对可控因素和不可控因素的调侃。改变思维模式挺费劲的，但是只要我们做出改变，我们总有一天会从中获益。This episode is a casual chat between Danni and Linsey, starting with a discussion on the popular phrase circulating online: “Be an emotionally stable person.” We attempt to understand its true meaning without distortion. But how difficult it is to actually be emotionally stable! The ideal of “Not being elated by external gains, nor saddened by personal losses” requires immense mental strength and a clear mind—something that is only barely attainable. To truly achieve this, one must start by changing their way of thinking. That’s why Danni goes into detail about the practical steps of “rewiring your brain.” Along the way, we also share some lighthearted banter about controllable and uncontrollable factors in life. Changing thought patterns is no easy feat, but as long as we take action, we will eventually reap the benefits.

*Unlock the Secrets of Career Survival in Your 30s*Join us for our most honest conversation yet! As we navigate the challenges of work, one question looms large: What happens when you hit 35? For many, this milestone feels like a career curse—limiting opportunities and sparking existential dread.In this episode, we delve into the heart of the issue with expert insights from Michael, who shares the employer's perspective, and Danni and Linsey, who explore it from the employee's side. Together, they tackle the tough questions: Should you move up, down, or simply adapt to the changing landscape? What's the easiest psychological switch that can change everything to the brighter??This topic is so crucial that we've divided it into two parts. Tune in now to discover how to break free from the constraints of age and forge a path forward in your career.Key Takeaways:· Explore the challenges faced by employees over 35· Understand the employer's perspective on age and career growth· Learn trending psychological strategies for navigating career transitions with confidenceJoin the conversation and find out what's next for you in your thirties and beyond!

Unlock the Secrets of Career Survival in Your 30sJoin us for our most honest conversation yet! As we navigate the challenges of work, one question looms large: What happens when you hit 35? For many, this milestone feels like a career curse—limiting opportunities and sparking existential dread.In this episode, we delve into the heart of the issue with expert insights from Michael, who shares the employer's perspective, and Danni and Linsey, who explore it from the employee's side. Together, they tackle the tough questions: Should you move up, down, or simply adapt to the changing landscape? What's the easiest psychological switch that can change everything to the brighter??This topic is so crucial that we've divided it into two parts. Tune in now to discover how to break free from the constraints of age and forge a path forward in your career.Key Takeaways:• Explore the challenges faced by employees over 35• Understand the employer's perspective on age and career growth• Learn trending psychological strategies for navigating career transitions with confidenceJoin the conversation and find out what's next for you in your thirties and beyond!

但凡是涉及到“人性”的话题总是很难聊个清清楚楚，这一期节目我们邀请了学哲学的Shen Lee来聊一聊友谊。大部分时候我们聊到友谊都会去聊自己付出多少，而一些有毒的朋友是多么的不懂珍惜，而这次我们聊的是：面对变化，多年相处的朋友也可能会分道扬镳，面对巨大的沉没成本，我们又该如何调整心态？这一期节目里，Danni和Shen Lee讲出了关于友谊的一些真相，也引导我们向内求，更多看到自己的需求，因为内心秩序的稳定会帮助我们更好的理清很多外部世界的人际关系。我们需要面对自己的真相，也要有面对离别的勇气。Shen Lee在节目结束后，写了一篇关于这个话题的千字文章，我们会在节目介绍里附录一部分，具体内容就请去Shen Lee的主页查看吧！“Topics involving ‘human nature’ are always difficult to discuss clearly, and in this episode, we invited Shen Lee, a philosophy student, to talk about friendship. Most of the time when we discuss friendship, we focus on how much we’ve given and how some toxic friends fail to appreciate us. But this time, we talk about change—how friends who have been in our lives for many years can drift apart. With the huge emotional investments we’ve made, how should we adjust our mindset? In this episode, Danni and Shen Lee share some truths about friendship, guiding us to look inward and recognize our own needs. A stable inner order helps us better navigate our relationships in the external world. We need to face our own truths and have the courage to embrace separation. After the episode, Shen Lee wrote a thousand-word article on this topic, which we’ll include a portion of in the episode description. For the full article, please visit Shen Lee’s homepage!”Shen Lee’s Douyin ID: HakujoShinnThe elucidation of the notion of friendship is a multifaceted endeavor, fraught with challenges. Attempting to analyze or interpret the concept of friendship through the lens of cognitive models shaped by contemporary social realities frequently leads to extreme conclusions.For instance, some contend that friendship is nonexistent, while others assert that it is merely an emotional byproduct entwined in interpersonal relationships and propelled by shared interests. However, if a phenomenon manifests extreme characteristics without leading to its own demise, it can be posited that this extremity may be an illusion, an outcome of distorted or influenced cognition, shaped by a pessimistic imagination of its origins.In other words, the belief that friendship is illusory or merely an emotional attachment stems from an unconscious but deliberate form of self consolation, a preemptive choice designed to mitigate potential disappointment and protect one's mental well being. This predetermined pessimism enables individuals who experience betrayal in friendship to rationalize their pain by convincing themselves that every occurrence has a purpose.想要理清楚友誼的意義，絕對不是一件簡單輕鬆的事情。如果以目前已有的社會現實所搭載的認知模式去拆解或解讀「友誼」，我們通常只能得到一些相對極端的答案，例如：友誼並不存在，或者友誼只是一種盤踞在人際關係之下、圍繞於利益相關的情感附屬品。但是，假若一個事物及其伴隨而生的現象呈現出極端，卻沒有走向滅亡，那就意味著這一事物及其顯現的極端一面，可能只是一種假象——一種因為認知被影響，甚至被異化後，所產生的自我悲觀想象。換句話來說，大多數人之所以認為友誼是虛無縹緲的、只是一種泛情感下的附屬品，是因為人們不自知卻有意識地進行了一種自我安慰式、甚至想象式的選擇。其目的在於放下自己的期望，預設一個更有利於自我精神狀態不受戕害的糟糕結果。在這被預設出的糟糕結果庇護下，人們即便遭受友誼的背叛，仍能以理性的方式說服自己——一切都是命定的。However, this self deceptive approach does not constitute a method in the true sense of the term at least not in the sense of an effective prevention or alleviation of the pain of friendship's betrayal. On the contrary, it serves only to deepen and engrave the wounds. In order to truly understand the nature of friendship, or more precisely, its relationship with each individual, it is necessary to circumvent these preset notions and avoid the socially constructed, distorted perspectives that confine our thinking.然而，這種借由想象式預設來為自我解脫的方法，實際上並不能稱之為一種有效的方法。至少，這所謂的方法並不能真正解決或預防友誼背叛所帶來的傷害，反而會加深創傷。想要理清友誼的本質，或者更準確地說，理清友誼與我們每個個體之間的關係，我們就必須繞開這些預設，更要避開一些被社會現實異化的普遍認知及其衍生的思維邏輯。A frequently discussed question can serve as an effective entry point in this examination: when we contemplate the essence of friendship whether it exists and what its relationship is with ourselves and others why not first examine another common inquiry about friendship? Specifically: can true, platonic friendship exist between men and women? People typically provide two polarizing answers to this question: "Yes, it exists" or "No, it does not." The crux of the issue lies in the fact that both answers seem to hold validity and can be backed by personal anecdotes that serve as proof for either stance. However, upon closer examination, these testimonials often resemble stories rather than theoretical arguments narratives constructed around the reality they seek to affirm rather than objective evaluations of friendship itself.This occurrence can be attributed to the fundamental contradiction of the premises of these opposing views.一個被大眾經常掛在嘴邊的問題，可以很好地擔當我們探討的切入點——當我們開始思考「友誼究竟是什麼？」「友誼是否存在？」「友誼與我及其他個體的關係？」時，不如先思考另一個有趣且時常被人提起的問題：「男性與女性之間，是否存在真正純潔的友誼？」針對這個問題，人們通常會給出兩個截然對立的答案：「存在」或「不存在」。然而，當我們考察這兩種極端答案時，會發現它們各自都有道理，甚至都能找到現身說法的人，以自身經歷來佐證其立場。然而，很快我們也會發現，這類「過來人」的敘述，往往更像是一則故事，他們關注的重點，並不是定論本身的理論支持，而是故事的演繹。這是因為，「存在與不存在」這兩個對立答案的出發點，本身就是矛盾的。A thought experiment can be constructed to illustrate this phenomenon. Imagine a peculiar computer placed before us. This computer offers only one function: a communication tool that allows us to transcend geographical and temporal constraints and engage in written conversations with another individual. However, we have no knowledge of the other person's external characteristics, including their gender. This means that our perception of them is temporarily freed from real world biases and left to exist purely in the realm of imagination.In this scenario, external factors such as gender exert minimal influence. Participants may find themselves enjoying the conversation, perceiving the other person as warm and understanding, and even assigning them imagined traits based on their words. Participants may picture them as a gentle woman or a considerate man, deriving clues from their descriptions of daily life. Yet, reality eventually intrudes, disrupting the imagined identity that had been constructed, and which participants may choose not to explore further.舉例來說，假設現在有一台古怪的電腦擺在我們眼前，這台電腦只提供一個功能——它能以超現實的姿態，飛越地理甚至時間的限制，使我們與另一個個體發生聯繫，並進行文字上的溝通。而我們所需要做的，只是與這台機器聊上幾句。很快，我們就會發現，這樣的情境框定了一些限制——最明顯的一點是，我們並不了解與自己談話的靈魂，其具體外貌為何。這也就意味著，此時此刻，我們對於對方某些特徵的認知，會被不自然地屏蔽，比如：對方的性別。當現實中的性別因素被屏蔽時，其所帶來的干擾也會降至最低，幾乎只能停留在我們自身內心的想象之中。換句話說：無論對方在談話中如何討我們的歡喜，無論我們多麼享受與其交流的愉悅感受，對方的性別因素，始終只能停留在我們的想象當中。在這個過程中，我們可能會想象對方是個溫柔的女性，或者體貼的男性。隨著談話深入，我們甚至可能察覺到對方對生活細節的掌控、對儀式感的要求、對未來的期許。然而，現實的力量終將戳破這層幻想，或者說，現實會迫使這層幻想停留於此，使大多數個體不再深入地進行進一步的想象與狂想。In this thought experiment, the question of whether true friendship exists between men and women is examined. The logic behind the two extreme answers is identified as being at the heart of the thought experiment.The lower the interference from reality, the easier it is to form a true friendship, and the more interference from reality, the easier it is to disintegrate a true friendship.This suggests that the existence of friendship is contingent on the presence of a "delusion of delusions," residing in the spiritual realm of the individual.當我們借由這個簡單的思維實驗，來重新審視「男女之間是否存在真正友誼」這個問題時，會發現那兩種極端答案所遵循的邏輯，正是這一思維實驗的核心——受到現實干擾因素越低，就越容易形成真正的友誼；受到現實因素干擾越多，就越容易瓦解真正的友誼。簡單來說就是，友誼所依託的幾乎不存在於能夠被理性識得的現實之中，它所依托的是盤踞在自我之存在本身的精神國度之內的“妄想的妄想”。However, it is noteworthy that the cognitive processes that individuals acquire through real-life experiences can, in some cases, result in the unconscious engagement in a series of delusions. This phenomenon, often referred to as the "delusion of delusions," serves to imbue one's own delusions with a sense of perceived reality.In the context of interpersonal interactions, individuals often form judgments about others based on their behavior in the real world. These judgments are influenced by the cognitive processes shaped by the prevailing discourse power within one's respective living environment. This cognitive approach, shaped by environmental discourses, serves as an interpretive framework for navigating and comprehending social interactions. Individuals then employ imagination to fill in the gaps in this knowledge, thereby creating a coherent and comprehensible image of another person, although this image is largely derived from our own internal cognitive processes.It is crucial to note that the content we use to construct this reality is, in essence, imagined, stemming from our individual cognitive processes and experiences.然而，有趣的地方在於，現代人經由現實鍛鍊的認知，會不自覺地迫使他們進行一系列的妄想，以使那屬於自我的「妄想的妄想」擁有一個現實意義。我們在人際交往當中，通常都會依據其他個體的現實行為對其做出判斷，而這份判斷通常來自於我們各自生活環境場域下，由至高話語權打造而出的認知。隨後，我們依託這份認知，透過個體的想像對另一個個體的未知進行填空，以完整一個模糊的形象，使其擁有可以被自我理性識得的現實意義。然而，這份被完整的現實意義，在此期間被我們填空的內容，其實都是被想像而出的、屬於我們個體自我的內容。What we call "friendship" is, essentially, the content we use to fill in the blanks of other individuals, which originates from our own imagination. This also implies that others will, in turn, imagine and fill in the blanks of our existence that they cannot grasp in reality. The more beautiful the imagination of each other, the stronger and longer lasting the friendship. For instance, unconditional trust in a friend believing in them no matter what accusations others may make against them, firmly asserting, "They could never do such a thing" is a direct result of this idealized imagination.所謂「友誼」，就是我們為其他個體的空白填充的、屬於我們個體自我的內容。這也意味著，其他個體也會對我們在現實中的空白進行想像，並填補他們無法琢磨的、顯現在現實之中的屬於我們個體的空白。在這期間，兩個個體如果對對方的想像越是美好，就意味著他們之間的友誼越是堅固且長遠。例如，對友人的無端信任——無論他人指責自己的友人做出了如何有悖於道德之事，自己都能夠無條件地信任對方，並給出類似於「他就不可能這樣」的斷言——其實就是一種美好想像的結果。

这一期节目我们邀请到了老朋友Tim聊一聊婚姻，或许婚姻当中最难的就是维持，爱会消退，一段时间之后，身处其中的人很难察觉自己经历是磨合还是磨损；或许每一段婚姻的存续都是基于个人的需要和性格，灵活机动做出调整，以一个团队的姿态经营家庭，或许婚姻中大大小小的妥协和牺牲都能得到肯定，大大小小的委屈也能得到安抚。一个人和另一个人创造出一个家庭，在这个家庭里，人类要怎样调整自己才能获得自己想要的幸福。Linsey自己对于婚姻的认知仍旧处于幼儿园水平，而TIm和Danni很明显已经是研究生的级别了！来听听她们对于婚姻的解析吧！In this episode, we have invited our old friend Tim to talk about marriage. Perhaps the most challenging part of marriage is maintaining it. Love can fade, and after a certain period of time, it can be difficult for the people involved to tell whether they are going through a process of adjustment or deterioration. Maybe the continuation of every marriage depends on the personal needs and personalities of the individuals, with flexible adjustments made, and the family operated as a team. Perhaps all the compromises and sacrifices in marriage, big or small, can be acknowledged, and all the grievances can be soothed. One person and another create a family together, and within that family, how can people adjust themselves to achieve the happiness they desire? Linsey’s understanding of marriage is still at a kindergarten level, while Tim and Danni are clearly at a graduate level! Let’s hear their insights on marriage!Tim’s Douyin ID: MrFishSG