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Hey Tabi!

Author: Tabitha

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Welcome to "Hey Tabi!" the podcast where we talk about the hard things out loud, with our actual lips. We'll cover all kinds of topics across the mental health spectrum, including how it intersects with the Christian faith. Nothing is off limits here & we are not "take-two-verses-and-call-me-in-the-morning."

I'm Tabitha Westbrook & I'm a licensed trauma therapist (but I'm not your trauma therapist). I'm an expert in domestic abuse & coercive control & how complex trauma impacts our health & well-being. Our focus here is knowledge & healing - trauma doesn't have to eat your lunch forever. There is hope! Now, let's get going!

How to connect:
https://www.tabithawestbrook.com/

Therapy Website: (We are able to see clients in NC & TX)
https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

Instagram:
@tabithathecounselor
@_tjatp

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy & is for informational purposes only. If you need therapy I encourage you to find an awesome therapist licensed where you are that can help you out!!

59 Episodes
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What if the thing you've been afraid to say out loud is exactly what could heal you? In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with story work coach Jen Vrooman — certified in Narrative Focused Trauma Care from the Allender Center — to explore one of the most powerful tools in the healing process: writing and sharing your story. Jen breaks down what story work really is, why bringing a written snapshot of harm to a safe coach or therapist can unlock wh...
Confession feels like the goal—but what if it's actually the starting point? In this episode, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Nick Stumbo, Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, to talk about what genuine recovery from sexual addiction looks like in the church. Nick shares his own story of pornography addiction, staggered disclosure, and the turning point that changed everything. They also discuss betrayal trauma, purity culture's failures, why women's sexual st...
What if your desire isn’t something to suppress… but something to understand? In this episode of Hey Tabi, I’m joined by therapist, researcher, and author Jay Stringer to explore what he calls the “civil war of desire.” Many trauma survivors experience deep internal conflict around sexuality, pleasure, food, intimacy, and even their relationship with God. We want connection — and fear it. We long for pleasure — and feel shame when we experience it. Why does trauma create this inner war?  ...
What role does storytelling play in trauma recovery? And what happens when the trauma occurs inside the church? In this episode of Hey Tabi, I sit down with Dr. Ann Maree Goudzwaard—biblical counselor, domestic abuse advocate, and founder of Help[H]er Ministries—to talk about trauma, spiritual abuse, coercive control, and the healing power of telling the truth. Drawing from her experience interviewing survivors, Dr. Goudzwaard shares why story is not just therapeutic, it’s transformational....
There are parts of your story you’ve learned not to talk about—because naming them feels disloyal, shameful, or dangerous. But avoiding those chapters may be exactly what’s keeping you stuck. In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Adam Young, licensed clinical social worker, author of Make Sense of Your Story and host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast, to talk about why healing requires honesty—and why some parts of our story feel too threatening t...
We slow down and practice simple tools to move from survival to safety, using consent-based exercises, micro-practices, and imagery to regulate the nervous system. We talk about building a 911 card, explore glimmers, and use music and compassion to make calm more reachable. If you need some embodied coaching, we are happy to walk alongside you and help develop that strong toolkit with you. Our contact information is in the show notes and in the description. You can find us at www.thejourneya...
What happens when emotions are ignored, suppressed, or labeled as “wrong”? For many trauma survivors—especially those raised in Christian spaces—emotional suppression doesn’t lead to peace or holiness. It leads to anxiety, shame, disconnection, and relational breakdown. In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Emma Ward to talk honestly about the hidden damage of emotional suppression—and how real healing begins. To...
What does it actually look like when the Church gets it right for survivors of abuse? In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist and coercive control expert Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dawn Jones, founder of Restored to Thrive, a church-based ministry supporting women healing from domestic abuse/coercive control, and relational trauma. So often, abuse survivors experience silence, minimization, or spiritual bypassing in church spaces. But this conversation offers som...
All abuse is physical abuse—even when there are no visible bruises. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist and domestic abuse expert Tabitha Westbrook explains the neuroscience behind coercive control and why survivors often experience brain fog, memory problems, anxiety, emotional numbness, and difficulty concentrating long after the abuse has ended. Drawing from current neuroscience research and clinical experience, Tabitha walks through how coercive control and chronic emot...
What happens when trauma silences your story, and what does it take to speak it aloud again? In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with biblical counselor that does not suck Melissa Affolter to explore the healing power of story for survivors of trauma. Together, they talk about why trauma often leaves people wordless, how shame gets stored in the body, and why healing requires more than insight or “right thinking.” This conversation centers on the sacred r...
What happens when a pastor admits, “We made it worse”? In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with pastor Matt Chandler for an honest conversation about how uninformed church systems have harmed abuse survivors - often unintentionally, but deeply. Tabi didn't provide any questions in advance and Matt didn't shy away from anything asked. Together, they explore what happens when churches lack training in domestic abuse, coercive control, & trau...
Is emotional abuse being hidden behind Christian language like submission and forgiveness? In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with bestselling author Leslie Vernick to expose the truth about emotional abuse in Christian marriage, and why so many survivors are told to stay silent and endure harm. If you’ve ever wondered: Is my marriage emotionally abusive?Does God want me to stay in an abusive marriage?Am I being abused or just “too sensitive”?This conver...
When we’ve lived through abuse, or we spend our lives helping others heal from it, it’s shockingly easy to accidentally pick up the same tools, patterns, and power dynamics we’re trying to dismantle. In this deeply honest conversation, trauma therapist, Tabitha Westbrook, and biblical counselor that does not suck, Chelsey Gordon explore how survivors, advocates, and church leaders can resist becoming the very systems of oppression they’re fighting against. Whether you’re a survivor learning t...
If you’ve ever wondered whether a relationship can truly heal after sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, or years of secrecy, this episode is for you. In this deeply honest conversation, Tabitha sits down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, trained relationship specialists, authors of Building True Intimacy, and survivors of their own story of betrayal, addiction, and the long road of rebuilding trust. Together, they unpack: The process of everything shattering and the slow work of rebuildingWhy...
What is good biblical counseling, really? And why is it so hard to find, especially if you’re a trauma survivor who's already been harmed by “just pray more” advice, sin-sniffing, or spiritual bypassing? In this week’s episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha Westbrook (licensed trauma therapist, abuse expert, author of Body & Soul, Healed & Whole) sits down with Jacque Escue, a Certified Biblical Counselor and trauma-informed practitioner—who does not suck—to talk honestly about what healthy, sa...
What if everything you’ve been taught about hope is backwards? In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Jenny Bayless of Fuller Seminary to talk about why hope isn’t an outcome you chase, but an anchor you hold onto when life feels unbearably heavy. If you’ve ever felt betrayed by hope, overwhelmed by suffering, or exhausted by Christian clichés that make your pain feel minimized, this conversation is for you. We dive deep into: ✨ Why ...
What if biblical counseling actually led to healing instead of shame? 👀 In this candid convo, worship leader–turned–biblical counselor Adam Westlake (The Worship Initiative, Shane & Shane) joins Tabitha to unpack why much “sin-detective” counseling harms survivors—and what compassionate, trauma-informed, theologically rooted care really looks like. We get into: Why story work > quick fixes (Colossians 3/Ephesians 5 vibes)Guilt vs. shame and how spiritual bypassing wounds survivorsPorn/...
Parenting a “spicy” teen? You’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Greg Wilson, LPC-S and author of When Home Hurts, to talk about raising adolescents through trauma, grief, and chaos, without losing your mind (or your compassion). Together they unpack: 💥 Why your “ghost pepper” teen’s outbursts might actually be pain in disguise 💥 How trauma, from loss, abuse, or today’s chaotic world, shapes behavior 💥 Practical ...
Have you ever tried mindfulness and thought, “This just isn’t working—I can’t calm down”? You’re not broken. Your body is simply doing what it was designed to do: keep you safe. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores why mindfulness practice truly matters, especially for trauma survivors, people of faith, and anyone learning to live in the present after a history of overwhelm or abuse. You’ll discover how mindfulness helps regulate the nervous syst...
Online trauma help online can be powerful, but it can also be dangerous if you don’t know what to look for. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook, unpacks how to find good, trauma-informed help online that’s actually safe & how to spot red flags that could cause further harm. Many survivors of abuse or trauma seek online counseling, coaching, or groups for support, but not all helpers are trained or trauma-informed. Tabitha shares what genuine, safe, h...
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