The Big Four Oh: The Podcast About Turning 40

Burnout rarely announces itself. It shows up as brain fog, chronic stress, unexplained health issues, and a sense that you are doing everything right but still falling apart. Michelle Niemeyer spent years powering through a high-pressure career, a difficult marriage, and nonstop responsibility before her body forced a reckoning. This conversation explores how achievement can become a coping mechanism, how chronic inflammation becomes “normal,” and why real healing often requires changing how you relate to work, time, and control. Michelle’s story offers a helpful reframe of midlife burnout: not as collapse, but as an opportunity to build a life that finally fits.Guest Bio Michelle Niemeyer is a speaker, coach and former attorney who teaches professionals how to bend time so they can stay sharp, productive and profitable – without burning out. After finding her way to burnout and back in her own high-performing legal career, Michelle created The Art of Bending Time, a framework that helps people connect the dots across work, life, and purpose to magnetize success and reclaim their joy. She helps businesses retain top talent, boost development, and keep their people energized and engaged – all while making the magic happen.Turning 40 and realizing burnout was the warning, not the problemFrom the outside, Michelle Niemeyer looked like the picture of success. She was a high-achieving attorney, deeply involved in her community, and constantly in motion. Underneath that polished exterior, she was exhausted, chronically stressed, and living in a body that was fighting itself. In her mid-30s and early 40s, Michelle’s drive to achieve, her hyper-independence, and years of pushing through discomfort collided with burnout and a serious autoimmune diagnosis. What followed was not just a health reckoning, but a complete transformation in how she relates to work, relationships, time, and herself.Episode Highlights:How Michelle’s childhood conditioning around achievement and responsibility shaped her relentless work ethic.What it looks like when burnout shows up as brain fog, detachment, and physical symptoms long before we recognize it as burnout.The moment her body forced her to pay attention, and how an autoimmune diagnosis changed everything.How lifestyle changes, stress reduction, and radical self-awareness helped Michelle reverse disease progression.The surprising emotional and personality shift that came with learning to slow down and ask for help.Why burnout is often less about time management and more about alignment.Michelle’s story is a reminder that midlife transitions often arrive disguised as health crises, exhaustion, or emotional unraveling. For her, healing was not just about diet or medication, it was about dismantling a lifetime of hyper-independence, redefining success, and reconnecting with what actually brings energy and joy. Her transformation highlights a truth many listeners will recognize: when you stop living in constant survival mode, your body and your life respond in ways that can feel almost miraculous.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps more people find these stories and reminds others in the middle of their own transition that they are not alone.Guest Resources

What happens when a life that looks “fine” stops feeling true? Mikelann Valterra discusses the strange freedom that can follow loss. From rebuilding financially at age 40 to learning how to trust intuition, design a life on her own terms, and say no to other people’s expectations, Mikelann shares what it looks like to move from survival into possibility. This conversation is for anyone in midlife who feels untethered, restless, or quietly hungry for something more, even if they cannot yet name it.Guest Bio Mikelann Valterra is an author, speaker, financial therapist, and master money coach who helps women around the world rise above the money fog, transform their relationship with money, and design their ideal life. For twenty-five years, Mikelann Valterra, MA, AFC has been a thought leader in financial psychology. She has written, spoken, and been interviewed extensively on powerful, practical ways to reduce money anxiety and teaches effective methods for earning, saving, reducing debt, and managing money. Her new book, Rise Above the Money Fog is now available online. When she’s not working with clients, you can find Mikelann on the dance floor, indulging her love of Argentine Tango.Turning 40 and becoming “uncorked”Mikelann Valterra’s transformation began just before her 40th birthday, with a divorce that ended a “good on paper” marriage, the loss of nearly all her financial stability, and a year spent rebuilding from zero while living in her childhood bedroom. What followed was not a collapse, but an “uncorking,” a period of deep self-reflection, creative awakening, and intentional redesign of her life, her finances, and her sense of self.Episode HighlightsHow a career that looked unconventional on paper led Mikelann to pioneer money coaching before it was widely knownWhy “losing everything” after divorce felt terrifying and oddly freeing at the same timeThe messy middle between ending a marriage and starting over financially at age 40How journaling, therapy, and deep self-reflection helped her rebuild from the ground upThe shift from living by external “shoulds” to designing a life that actually fitWhy knowing yourself is the foundation of both financial peace and personal fulfillmentHow synchronicity, intuition, and curiosity led Mikelann to Argentine tango, and how dance became part of her second adulthoodMidlife transitions are rarely neat or linear, but they can be profoundly liberating. Through honesty, humor, and hard-earned wisdom, Mikelann illustrates how rebuilding after loss can open the door to creativity, clarity, and trusting yourself. Her story reframes starting over not as failure, but as an invitation to design a life that aligns with who you truly are, not who you were told to be.If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps more people find these stories and reminds listeners that they are not alone in the messy middle.Guest ResourcesTake the Money Personality Quiz (In the top bar!)Connect with Mikelann on Facebooka...

Andrea McGinty built what many people would call the ultimate success story: a booming global business, a high-profile marriage, and great kids. So why did midlife still ask her to stop and reconsider everything? Andrea talks about what it feels like when the life you built no longer matches the person you have become. We talk about intuition, values, second acts, and why clarity often arrives slowly, quietly, and from the inside out. If you have ever wondered whether it is possible to change course without burning everything down, this conversation will resonate deeply.Guest Bio Andrea McGinty’s journey is as compelling as the love stories she’s helped create. After being dumped at the altar in her 20s, founding It’s Just Lunch Matchmaking in 1990 (before Google and online dating), and later navigating divorce after 24 years of marriage, Andrea took a four-year pause from dating to focus on raising her teenage daughter. When she decided to jump back into the dating world, she approached it strategically, and it paid off—her sixth first date turned into her husband, whom she married in Rome in 2024.As the founder of It’s Just Lunch in the 1990s, Andrea revolutionized the matchmaking industry. Her innovative service grew to over 110 locations worldwide and facilitated over 33,000 setups, resulting in more than 10,000 marriages. Today, her company, 33,000 Dates, focuses on helping the over-45 crowd find love in the second act of their lives. Currently, 65% of her clients are in long-term relationships, a testament to her expertise and unique methods.Often referred to as the OG or “Godmother” of modern dating, Andrea’s impact extends beyond her clients. Like an NFL coaching tree, more than 40% of today’s top 25 matchmakers trace their roots back to Andrea’s mentorship and pioneering techniques. Her influence has shaped the industry, creating a legacy that stands out in the world of matchmaking.Andrea’s work has garnered extensive media attention. She has been featured on Oprah, People, Today Show, and named Entrepreneur of the Month on the Early Show. As a sought-after speaker, she has addressed audiences at the American Marketing Association and other prestigious events. Her insights and passion have made her a trusted voice in the realm of love and relationships.With over three decades of experience, Andrea doesn’t just write about dating; she’s lived it. Her latest book, 2nd Acts: Winning Strategies for Dating Over 50, combines personal anecdotes and professional expertise to guide singles on finding meaningful connections later in life. Andrea’s vibrant, no-nonsense approach continues to inspire and empower those ready to embrace their second act with optimism and love.Turning 40 and realizing success is not the same as alignmentAndrea McGinty built one of the most successful dating companies in the world before most of us had email, Google, or any idea what online dating might become. But by midlife, the business she had poured herself into, along with the marriage built alongside it, no longer fit who she was becoming. Andrea shares what it was like to grow up as the oldest daughter in a big Irish Catholic family; launch It’s Just Lunch with $3,000 and a dream;, navigate public success alongside private fear; and ultimately listen to the quiet inner voice that told her it was time for something different. Her midlife transition includes selling a global company, divorcing amicably, facing cancer, and stepping fully into a second act built around values, alignment, and deeply personal fulfillment.Episode HighlightsGrowing up as the oldest child in a large Irish Catholic family and how responsibility and resilience shaped Andrea early onLaunching It’s Just Lunch...

Stephanie digs into the deeper meaning behind that restless, unsettled feeling so many people experience in their thirties and forties. Instead of considering midlife a crisis, she reframes it as a natural emotional upgrade, the moment when your inner world starts demanding a better fit with the life you built. Drawing on insights from her conversation with Dr. Deborah Heiser, Stephanie explores how curiosity, subtraction, and a simple what if question can turn confusion into clarity. If you are sensing a shift, feeling misaligned, or wondering what comes next, this episode will help you understand what is happening and why you are more ready for change than you think.ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

What if midlife isn’t a crisis at all, but an upgrade you never knew you were getting? In this episode, Stephanie sits down with Dr. Deborah Heiser, a psychologist and midlife specialist who believes our forties mark the moment we finally step into our deepest emotional power. Together, they cover why so many people feel unsettled during this season of life; how to tell when you’ve outgrown the path you’re on; and the surprising science that shows our emotional well-being only gets better with age. If you’re standing at the edge of change and wondering what comes next, this conversation will give you language, perspective, and permission to imagine something more.Guest Bio Dr. Deborah Heiser is an applied developmental psychologist, the CEO/Founder of The Mentor Project, and author of The Mentorship Edge. She is a TEDx speaker, member of Marshall Goldsmith 100 Coaches, Thinkers 50 Radar List, expert contributor to Psychology Today and is also an Adjunct Professor.Turning 40 and asking ‘what if’What happens when a lifelong researcher stops studying everything no one wants to have and instead turns her attention toward what we get to look forward to as we age? For Dr. Deborah Heiser, the answer was a midlife awakening that liberated her from expectations, perfectionism, and the need for a safety net. In her early forties, she left a secure and prestigious research career to build a new life rooted in purpose, fulfillment, and the belief that emotional growth continues long after our bodies start to creak. She discovered that midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s a transition, and it is rich with potential if we’re willing to ask one simple question: what if?In this warm and energizing conversation, Deborah and Stephanie explore the emotional arc of adulthood, the surprising freedom that comes with experience, and why midlife may be the happiest, most meaningful chapter yet.Episode HighlightsHow Deborah walked away from a secure research career at 40 to pursue meaning, joy, and a new definition of success.The surprising freedom that comes from realizing the “tightrope” of big life changes is actually close to the ground.The shift from relying on external authority to trusting your own experience and expertise.Why the emotional trajectory of life goes up even as the physical one goes down.Midlife transitions vs. midlife crisis: how changing the language opens new possibilities.How cultural norms have shifted since the 1970s, and what Millennials bring to the midlife conversation.The power of asking “What if?” to reveal possibilities, uncover desires, and subtract what no longer serves you.Why fulfillment becomes non-negotiable in your forties, and how to follow the internal cues that point you toward it.This conversation takes an insightful deep dive into the emotional transition of midlife, guided by someone who has both studied it and lived it. Stephanie and Deborah unpack why our forties often spark a shift toward fulfillment, autonomy, and self-trust, and how curiosity, not crisis, is the real engine behind change. Through stories, science, and a few well-placed laughs, they reframe midlife as an exciting developmental stage where we get to rethink our choices, reclaim our authority, and create lives that feel good from the inside out.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh so more people can discover what this transition is really all about.Guest ResourcesDeborah’s book: The Mentorship Edge: Creating Maximum Impact Through Lateral and Hierarchical MentoringDeborah’s Psychology Today Blog about Turning...

When Lauren Hayes became a mother in her mid-30s, her fierce independence and lifelong people-pleasing suddenly collided. Parenthood cracked open old patterns she didn’t know were running the show, like the “funny” family story about her as a child that led to the belief that she had to earn love to be worthy of it. Through therapy, self-inquiry, and later, an unexpected exploration of ethical non-monogamy with her husband, Lauren began to uncover what authentic love and connection actually feel like. In this candid, funny, and deeply human conversation, she shares how healing her “little-t” trauma helped her trust her own voice, redefine intimacy, and finally stop hustling for approval.Guest Bio Lauren Hayes is speaker, author and relationship coach specializing in supporting ethically non-monogamous (ENM) couples, including swingers and the ENM-curious. She helps couples navigate and engage the swinging and non-monogamous community in the healthiest of ways. She holds the perspective that non-monogamous relationships share the same foundations of any healthy relationship, however, they need to operate at a higher level of health to accommodate the additional complexities. Her approach aims to help couples build their ideal relationship, regardless of whether or how many others it includes. She also brings personal experience to her coaching having been married for 20+ years and ENM (swingers) for the last 6+ years.Turning 40 and Rewriting the Rules of LoveLauren Hayes shares a story of courage, curiosity, and radical honesty. From an early childhood experience that left her believing she had to earn love, Lauren built a life of high achievement and independence. But when motherhood stripped away her identity and marriage revealed deep emotional patterns, she began the hard work of healing. That healing eventually led her, and her husband, to explore non-monogamy, a journey that brought her closer to self-acceptance, intimacy, and personal freedom than she’d ever known. Now a relationship coach and author, Lauren shares how learning to trust her own voice and desires transformed not just her marriage but her sense of self.In this episode, you’ll hear:How a “funny” childhood story revealed the root of a lifelong belief that she had to earn loveThe surprising ways people-pleasing shows up even in adulthood and marriageWhat happens when independence becomes a trauma response instead of a strengthHow becoming a mother cracked open her identity and forced her to redefine “being enough”What ethical non-monogamy is, and what it isn’tHow exploring non-traditional relationships can become a path to deep personal growthThe empowerment that comes from embracing your sexuality and using your voiceLauren’s midlife transformation story is an invitation to examine the stories we tell ourselves about love, worth, and belonging. What began as a journey to fix what wasn’t working turned into an awakening to her own inner truth. Through therapy, personal growth, and open-hearted exploration, she discovered that love rooted in authenticity and self-knowledge is more fulfilling than love earned through approval or performance. Her story is proof that midlife isn’t a crisis: it’s a chance to rewrite the script and live in alignment with who you truly are.If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast; it helps more people find these conversations about transformation, truth, and growth.Guest ResourcesGet Lauren’s book, “For Better or Even Better: 7 Lessons on Love & Life from a Non-Monogamist Connect with Lauren on...

If your life looks fine on paper but feels off on the inside, you should probably tune in for the Season 8 opener of The Big Four Oh, in which Stephanie McLaughlin shines a light on the very real midlife transition that nobody warns you about. Stephanie breaks down how midlife forces us to pause, listen, and rebuild from the inside out. With humor, honesty, and hard-won wisdom, she explains why everything that’s coming apart might actually be coming together. If you’ve been wondering, is this all there is?, this conversation is for you.Season 8: The Truth About the Midlife TransitionStephanie McLaughlin kicks off Season 8 of The Big Four Oh with a warm, wise, and funny solo episode that unpacks what really happens during the midlife transition. Forget the tired “midlife crisis” cliché; there are no red sports cars or blonde secretaries named Muffy here. Instead, Stephanie shares the real story: how our 40s invite us to pause, reevaluate, and rebuild our lives from the inside out. Drawing on lessons from Season 7’s guests, she maps out what midlife transformation actually looks like: messy, revealing, full of friction, and ultimately full of grace.In this episode, Stephanie explores:The moment “The Ick” sets in; when life still looks fine on paper but feels off insideThe shift from achievement mode to alignment mode, and why your old definition of success might no longer fitHow subconscious rules and patterns formed in childhood quietly shape adult lifeThe power of pausing, whether it’s intentional or forced by burnout, loss, or exhaustionWhy stillness isn’t failure, but the space to find where your next chapter beginsHow creativity becomes a tool for healing and rebuilding confidenceWhat it means to anchor your worth internally instead of chasing external validationThis episode is your midlife decoder ring; a guide to what’s breaking, what’s being rebuilt, and what it all means. Stephanie walks you through the patterns that surfaced in Season 7’s conversations and sets the tone for Season 8. It’s a compassionate, funny, and refreshingly real look at how midlife isn’t a crisis, but a renovation, and why you’re not late, you’re right on time for your own life.If you enjoy the show, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh wherever you listen. It helps other people find the podcast, and reminds them they’re not alone on this midlife journey.Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon...

When Terry Tateossian hit her late 30s, she was running a successful marketing agency, raising two kids, and running herself into the ground. Two hospital visits later, she realized her body was sending a message she could no longer ignore. In this conversation, Terry shares her journey from overwork and denial to deep self-awareness and healing. She opens up about escaping communism as a child, building a career from scratch, and finally learning how to slow down and reconnect with herself. Her story is raw, insightful, and a powerful reminder that sometimes the bravest thing we can do is stop running and start listening.Guest Bio Terry Tateossian—a midlife health coach, certified trainer, nutritionist, and host of How Good Can It Get.Terry’s story of how she lost over 80 pounds in her mid-40s and transformed every area of her life — while running a business and raising a family — speaks directly to women going through midlife transitions. Her message is clear: your most impactful chapter may still be ahead.Turning 40 and healing the workaholicTerry Tateossian’s story begins in communist Bulgaria and stretches all the way to the boardrooms of Fortune 100 companies. By her late 30s, she achieved what many would call “success,” a booming marketing agency, two children, and a tireless work ethic. But that relentless drive came with a cost: two hospitalizations, burnout, and a total disconnection from herself. Her midlife transformation began not with another business plan, but with a reckoning with her body. Through deep inner work, Terry learned to stop running on survival mode and instead reconnect with the parts of herself she’d long silenced. Episode HighlightsFrom refugee to entrepreneur: Terry’s early life in a Bulgarian refugee camp taught her survival, grit, and resourcefulness, skills that would later fuel her success.Workaholism disguised as strength: As she built her business empire, Terry’s need for control and constant motion masked deeper wounds from childhood loss and trauma.The wake-up call: Two terrifying hospital visits in her 30s finally made her listen to her body after decades of ignoring it.The bull and the baby: Terry shares a powerful metaphor for healing the “bull” that once protected her and the “baby” within who needed love and attention to heal.Learning stillness: After walking away from her company, Terry began to rebuild her life slowly, learning to sit with discomfort and rediscover joy.Healing through feeling: Allowing herself to grieve her father’s death years after learning of it became the turning point that confirmed she was truly healing.A new kind of success: Today, Terry finds fulfillment not in hustle but in helping others rediscover wholeness through retreats and holistic coaching.In this deeply human conversation, Terry Tateossian opens up about the cost of constant striving and the grace that comes with slowing down. From escaping communism to building a thriving agency to walking away from it all, her story is a testament to resilience and rebirth. Midlife didn’t just ask her to change her ways; it invited her to finally feel her feelings. Terry’s insights about self-compassion, emotional honesty, and healing the “bull and baby” within will resonate with anyone who’s ever worked themselves to exhaustion trying to prove their worth.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh so more people can discover stories like Terry’s.Guest ResourcesConnect with Terry on InstagramTerry’s website, THORDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to...

At 43, Ray Martin’s world fell apart. His marriage ended, his business unraveled, and his father passed away, all within months. What looked like an ending became the beginning of his midlife transformation. In this episode, Ray shares how he went from broken and lost to discovering that “Ray the Businessman” was just a character he had been playing. Through an unexpected acting role, a six-month sabbatical that stretched into 14 years, and a backpack full of lessons on minimalism, meditation, and intuition, Ray learned how to align with his true self. His story is proof that when life implodes, it can be the opening to something extraordinary.Guest Bio Ray Martin, aka The Daily Explorer, is an entrepreneur and award-winning business leader. As a coach, mentor, facilitator, speaker, writer, and mindfulness teacher, he is a torchbearer for greater human consciousness. Ray is also a marathon runner and fundraiser. He’s on a mission to empower people to live authentically and to bring more joy and happiness into the world.Turning 40 and taking the next right stepAt 43, Ray Martin’s seemingly perfect life collapsed overnight. A thriving consulting firm, public recognition as the United Kingdom’s “Business Leader of the Year,” and a marriage that doubled as a business partnership: all of it came undone when his wife walked out and his father died within months of each other. Suddenly, the man who had done everything “right” was standing in the rubble of his own blueprint, wondering if happiness was forever out of reach. What followed was a radical reinvention that took Ray from despair in London to the stage in Australia, to a six-month backpacking trip across Asia that turned into 14 years of minimalist living, marathon running, and meditation. His journey shows us what can happen when you stop playing the character others expect you to be and start writing your own script.Highlights from this episode:How Ray’s life imploded at 43 despite having “checked every box” of success.The moment he realized “Ray the Businessman” was just a character he had created.Why listening to his gut, and asking for confirmation signals, became his compass.How a 10-day silent meditation retreat shifted his mindset from outside-in to inside-out happiness.The sabbatical that turned into 14 years of travel, minimalism, and discovery.The guiding principles he created to stop the cycle of negative self-talk.Building a foundation of trust in intuition that led him to running marathons, fundraising, and eventually writing his memoir, Life Without a Tie.Ray Martin’s story is a vivid reminder that midlife is less about crisis and more about opportunity. When the life he had built fell apart, he discovered that identity is flexible, happiness can be cultivated from within, and alignment with your true self often means following the path that feels effortless. His journey from boardrooms to backpacks invites us to reflect on the characters we play, the voices we listen to, and the possibility of stepping into the role of author and director of our own lives.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast so more people can hear these powerful stories of transformation.Guest ResourcesGet a signed copy of Ray’s book, Life Without a TieConnect with Ray on LinkedInDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick a...

Denise Lee’s path through midlife has been anything but simple. From surviving childhood trauma to battling addiction and the pressure to live up to cultural expectations, she spent years feeling like she was running behind everyone else. But her 40s brought a wake-up call: healing isn’t about timelines or comparisons, it’s about learning to trust yourself.  In this candid conversation, Denise shares how she rebuilt her inner voice, discovered what real leadership looks like, and finally began to trust herself. If you’ve ever felt behind on life’s timeline or trapped by old patterns, this episode will show you what it means to wake up in midlife.Guest Bio Denise G. Lee is a healing and leadership coach who helps high-achieving adults untangle the inner scripts they didn’t know they were living by. She works with people who look like they have it all together—but quietly wonder why it still feels hollow. In her work, Denise invites honest reflection on identity, success, and the invisible expectations we carry, especially as we age. Her podcast and coaching explore what it means to lead from emotional clarity, not cultural pressure.Turning 40 and tuning into a new frequencyWhen Denise G. Lee hit her mid-30s, she was juggling new motherhood, an immigrant identity that didn’t fit neatly into any box, and the heavy weight of a painful childhood. From the outside, her life looked picture-perfect, but on the inside, Denise was still carrying chaos, addiction, and self-doubt. It wasn’t until a series of wake-up calls, including getting kicked out of a therapist’s office and facing hard truths in recovery, that she began the long process of “growing up” on the inside. Now in her 40s, Denise has stepped into a life of healing, self-trust, and authentic leadership, and she’s sharing what it really takes to get there.Highlights from this episode:How Denise’s immigrant upbringing shaped her sense of identity and belonging.Becoming a first-time mom at 35 and wrestling with feelings of being “too old” and unprepared.The chaos and trauma of her childhood, and how it stunted her inner growth.The pivotal moment at 27 when a therapist sent her to Sexaholics Anonymous, forcing her to face her addictions and denial.What it meant to outgrow her environment and seek a fresh start in Texas.The danger of chasing image and comparison, and how Denise learned to stop living by others’ timelines.Redefining leadership, moving away from manipulation toward empathy, resilience, and safety.The ongoing process of tuning into her “inner voices” and learning to trust herself.In this episode, you’ll hear a story that proves growth isn’t linear: it’s layered, messy, and deeply human. Denise’s journey from chaos to clarity is a reminder that midlife isn’t about hitting milestones on a set timeline. It’s about waking up, tuning into the right frequencies within yourself, and learning to lead your own life with compassion and courage.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps more people find the show, and reminds them they’re not alone in this wild midlife transition.Guest ResourcesConnect with Denise on Facebook Connect with Denise on InstagramGet Denise’s Life Script Questionnaire, free for listeners of The Big Four OhDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. a...

What happens when a Google search changes the course of your life? Sabrina Victoria shares how she broke free from a controlling, abusive relationship and rebuilt her life from scratch. From secret bank accounts and late-night hustle to the moment she realized she had a choice, Sabrina’s story is raw, powerful, and full of lessons about resilience and self-discovery. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a situation that seemed impossible to escape, this conversation will show you that there’s always a way forward, and that your voice and your power are waiting to be reclaimed.Guest Bio Sabrina Victoria is a seasoned entrepreneur and TEDx speaker with a background in door-to-door sales. She brings over two decades of experience of building and co-building multiple 6 and 7-figure businesses to Her Nation Global, a dynamic media platform showcasing women business owners through podcasts, virtual magazine features, and empowering events. Her charismatic leadership style centers on community building, education, and strategic networking as the core of success for women in business.Turning 40 and Googling 'why is my boyfriend so mean to me’Sabrina Victoria’s story is one of grit, resilience, and rebirth. Raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, she was disfellowshipped at just 20 years old after becoming a single mom. What followed was a tumble into isolation, addiction, and eventually an abusive relationship that nearly consumed her. But Sabrina’s midlife transformation began with one late-night Google search that opened her eyes, gave her a new language for what she was experiencing, and set her on a path to reclaim her life, her freedom, and ultimately, her voice. Today, she runs a community to empower women and she’s living proof that even in your darkest moment, hope and healing are possible.Highlights in this episode:How Sabrina’s strict religious upbringing shaped her early years—and left her vulnerable when she was cast outThe turning point when she chose sobriety and has stayed sober for the next 20 yearsThe insidious ways financial, emotional, and psychological abuse can strip away autonomyThe breakdown moment that led to the Google search that saved her lifeThe secret businesses, hidden bank account, and quiet determination that became her ticket to freedomThe role of personal development voices like Lisa Nichols, Tony Robbins, and Les Brown in keeping her motivatedHow Sabrina has navigated relationships in her 30s and 40s and found balance between masculine drive and feminine energyThe liberating realization that she had a choice—and how that awareness changed everythingSabrina’s journey from being silenced and controlled to finding her voice is inspiring. Her story reminds us that midlife transitions often come with both hardship and profound opportunity. She illustrates how resilience, resourcefulness, and a refusal to give up “until” can transform even the most difficult circumstances into a life filled with freedom, balance, and authenticity.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast so more people can discover these stories of midlife transformation.Guest ResourcesConnect with Sabrina on FacebookConnect with Sabrina on InstagramDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick 

Turning 40 and breaking down in banana breadWhen Edel Howlin moved from Ireland to Houston in her late 20s, she was certain she was building her dream life. She found her calling in public radio and was thriving professionally. But a decade later, and another relocation, to Philadelphia in her late 30s, triggered a profound and unexpected unraveling. What started as a fresh chapter became a full-on identity crisis. Without a job to define her and overwhelmed by change, Edel found herself crying, storming out of the house, and eventually taking refuge in bed with a cup of tea and banana bread. That messy, quiet breakdown would become the birthplace of her reinvention. In this episode, Edel shares how she built a business from the ashes, and why she’s never been happier.Highlights from this episode:Edel’s winding path from a science degree in Ireland to her dream job in public radio in HoustonWhy moving to a new city in her late 30s upended her identity, and led to a full-blown midlife crisisHow a literal pause (in bed, with banana bread) helped her start listening to her inner voiceThe moment she realized she’d been chasing “success” instead of happinessHow gardening unexpectedly planted the seeds for her next chapterThe surprising empowerment of realizing: I am enough, without needing outside validationWhy her business now feels like joy, not just workEdel Howlin’s story is a beautiful reminder that sometimes, the path to who we’re meant to be isn’t straight; it’s full of detours, breakdowns, and banana bread-fueled breakthroughs. In her 20s, she followed her husband and her love for radio across the Atlantic. In her late 30s, she followed her husband to Philadelphia, and promptly lost her sense of self. But in the pause, she began to hear her own voice. What emerged was not just a new career path, but a deeper understanding of herself. Edel's midlife transition wasn’t graceful, but it was powerful. And today, she’s living life on her own terms, with more joy and confidence than ever before.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. Your support helps more people find these stories of midlife transformation.Guest ResourcesConnect with Edel on Facebook Connect with Edel on Instagram Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts Spotifya...

What if the thing you’ve been trying to fix your whole life isn’t actually the thing that needs fixing? At 38, Patty Cabot began a journey that would unravel decades of emotional pain, body image struggles, and silence surrounding childhood trauma. In this raw and inspiring conversation, Patty shares how deep inner work—not dieting—finally brought her peace, perspective, and a surprising path to love. If you’ve ever felt stuck or wondered why certain patterns keep repeating, this episode offers powerful insight into healing, self-trust, and reclaiming your story.Guest Bio Beginning in her teens, Patty Cabot battled drastic weight fluctuations. Desperate to break the cycle and thinking it was what prevented her from meeting men, in her late 30s Patty embarked on a therapeutic journey that led to her unresolved childhood sexual abuse. Over 12 years she worked with her therapist and EMDR, a chiropractor to release trapped “fight or flight” responses, a sex therapist and attended group therapy for sexual abuse. Patty published Not That Girl Anymore, a memoir about the alternative therapies she explored in the hopes of undoing the ruin within to claim the happiness she – and everyone else struggling with trauma – deserves.Turning 40 and finding the wound beneath the weightWhat if the thing you’ve been battling for decades - your weight, your relationships, your shame - was never the real issue? This week’s guest, Patty Cabot, spent 20 years trapped in a cycle of yo-yo dieting, self-doubt, and emotional isolation before a turning point at 38 led her to finally confront the childhood trauma she thought she had long since buried and forgotten about. Through therapy, unconventional healing modalities, and a fierce determination to find love and wholeness, Patty transformed her life from the inside out. In this episode, you'll hear about:*Trigger warning* discussion of childhood sexual abuse; no detailsHow a cycle of weight loss and gain led Patty to uncover deeper unresolved traumaThe transformative power of EMDR therapy and what it taught her about her pastWhy anger was the only emotion she could access, and how she learned to feel moreHow vulnerability became a gateway to healing and connectionThe role running (literally!) played in finding love and confidenceWhy publishing her book helped lift the final layer of shameThe profound insight: “it’s not your shame, and it’s not your secret to keep”Patty Cabot’s midlife transition is a powerful example of what’s possible when we stop treating the symptom and start addressing the root cause. After decades of believing her weight and romantic struggles were the problem, Patty finally faced her childhood trauma head-on, peeling back the layers of self-protection to rediscover her worth and capacity for love. Her healing wasn’t linear, but it was bold, and in the process, she transformed shame into self-acceptance and silence into storytelling. Today, she’s helping others believe that healing is not only possible—it’s worth it.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh wherever you listen to podcasts. Your support means the world!Guest ResourcesGet your FREE copy of Patty’s book, Not That Girl AnymoreConnect with Patty on Facebook Connect with Patty on Instagram Connect with Patty on TikTokDo you have the Midlife Ick?Download...

Anne Montgomery was one of the first women to anchor ESPN’s SportsCenter—but when her TV career ended abruptly at 38, she found herself broke, heartbroken, and convinced her best days were behind her. In this gripping and often funny episode, Anne shares the highs of breaking barriers in sports media and the lows of losing it all. What came next? A completely unexpected new identity that brought her more joy and meaning than she ever imagined. If you've ever faced a reinvention you didn’t ask for, Anne’s story will make you laugh, tear up, and rethink what it means to start over.Guest Bio Anne Butler Montgomery has worked as a television sportscaster, newspaper and magazine writer, teacher, author, and amateur sports official. She worked for five TV stations, including ESPN where she anchored SportsCenter and finished her on-camera broadcasting career with a two-year stint as the studio host for the NBA’s Phoenix Suns. Montgomery was a freelance and/or staff reporter for six publications and has written six traditionally published novels. Montgomery taught journalism and communication skills in a Title I high school for 20 years and was an amateur sports official for four decades, a time during which she called football, baseball, ice hockey, soccer, and basketball games. Montgomery is a foster mom to three sons and a daughter. When she can, she indulges in her passions: rock collecting, scuba diving, and playing her guitar.Turning 40 and facing a midlife curveballAnne Montgomery broke barriers as one of the first female sportscasters in the U.S., working for five television stations—including anchoring SportsCenter at ESPN—during an era when women were barely visible in sports media. But when her contract wasn’t renewed at age 38, her career came to an abrupt halt, and she faced a painful truth: the industry thought she was too old to be on TV. What followed was a years-long identity crisis marked by debt, self-doubt, and the collapse of her marriage. And yet, as she shares in this remarkable conversation, Anne's midlife “derailment” led her to the most meaningful work—and relationships—of her life.In this heartfelt and often hilarious episode, Anne recounts the twists and turns of a life that didn’t go as planned, but ended up exactly where she was meant to be.Highlights from the episode:The moment in high school when Anne insisted on reading the sports—and never looked backHow she trained as a referee in five sports to learn the rules and build credibility as a sportscasterWhat it was like to be the only woman in the locker room, on the sidelines, and at ESPN in the 1980sThe brutal way she was pushed out of TV and how long it took to find her footing againThe unexpected friendship that helped her shift perspective and stop feeling sorry for herselfHow returning to school at 42 led her to a 20-year teaching career that reshaped her identityThe emotional story of how she became a mother—at age 55—to one of her former studentsAnne Montgomery’s story is one of perseverance, reinvention, and unexpected blessings. What began as a pioneering career in sports broadcasting eventually gave way to an equally meaningful chapter as a teacher and foster mother. Her journey reminds us that losing what we thought we wanted can clear space for what’s truly meant for us—and that midlife transitions, no matter how messy, can become the catalyst for our most profound growth.If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps others find the show—and who knows, it might help someone else feel a little less alone in their own midlife transition.Guest ResourcesConnect with Anne on Facebooka...

What if slowing down isn’t a setback, but a turning point? In this episode, Stephanie explores how midlife often presses pause on our hustle-filled lives -  and what looks at first like a punishment is usually an invitation. Through powerful stories from past guests and her own experience, she unpacks how stillness can help us reconnect with what really matters—and why our worth was never meant to be measured by productivity. If you’ve been feeling the pull to step off the hamster wheel (or if life has already pushed you off), this episode offers the clarity, compassion, and company you didn’t know you needed.Reflections: The Cost of Hustle in MidlifeIn this episode, Stephanie explores the hard-earned wisdom that comes when midlife forces us to slow down. Whether through burnout, illness, or emotional exhaustion, many of us hit a moment where hustle stops working, and stillness becomes not just necessary, but enlightening. Drawing from past guest stories and her own experience, Stephanie reflects on how slowing down can shift our relationship with productivity, identity, and self-worth. Midlife, it turns out, might just be the invitation we need to listen more closely to the voice within—and discover a gentler, more honest way of being.In this episode, you'll hear:Why hustle is so deeply ingrained for many of us—and how it eventually starts to break downThe breaking points that forced past guests like Anna Brooke, Tina Bakehouse, and Jennifer Arthurton to stop pushingHow quiet moments revealed surprising truths for Stephanie Rose and Steve VincentThe disorientation (and gift) of realizing you don’t really know yourselfThe difference between judgment and discernment—and why it mattersHow slowing down opens space to reconnect with long-lost parts of ourselvesStephanie’s personal journey toward redefining productivity on her own termSlowing down isn’t the end of ambition—it’s the beginning of wisdom. In the stillness, we stop performing life and start living inside it. Whether midlife has already forced your pause or you’re just beginning to question the pace, this episode is a gentle reminder that your inner voice is worth listening to—and it’s probably not asking you to hustle.If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh with a friend. It might be just the nudge they need today.Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts Spotify

When Anna Brooke heard a mysterious voice say “burlesque dancer” during a meditation, she had no idea it would lead to a full-blown metamorphosis. Known on stage as the Reverend Legs Malone, Anna built a dazzling career that lit her up—until her body forced her to stop. In this deeply human episode, she opens up about listening to intuition, navigating grief, and learning to slow down. From the thrill of the spotlight to the quiet power of discernment, Anna’s story is a bold invitation to shed the shoulds and embrace joy on your own terms.Guest Bio Anna Brooke is an author, speaker, and healing arts practitioner dedicated to helping people reconnect with their hearts and core creative spark. She is the author of the award-winning book Stripped Down: How Burlesque Led Me Home and co-author of WRITE! Your Guide to Revealing the Writer Within. She is also known as Rev. Legs Malone, a burlesque performer, show producer, educator and advocate who has been featured in Page Six, Buzzfeed, and Huffington Post. She has taught her transformational workshops nationally and internationally since 2010.Turning 40 and trading high heels for healingWhat happens when you finally listen to the quiet voice inside you—and it says “burlesque dancer”? Anna Brooke’s story is a masterclass in trusting your gut, embracing your weird, and healing from the burnout that comes from doing all the “right” things. From her early days of internal tug-of-war between what she wanted and what others expected, to becoming Rev. Legs Malone on the stages of New York City, Anna shares how stepping fully into joy changed everything. When a back injury at 39 forced her to slow down, she began a deeper journey—this time into the healing arts, entrepreneurship, and the hard-won clarity of her 40s.Episode Highlights:How Anna navigated a lifelong conflict between doing what she wanted and what she “should” doThe serendipitous moment when intuition told her to become a burlesque dancer—and how she listenedCreating and evolving the on-stage persona of Rev. Legs MaloneThe toll of hustle culture on her physical health, and the injury that forced a complete lifestyle shiftFinding strength through slowing down, healing, and learning to trust herselfLetting go of the “shoulds” and learning to follow discernment over judgmentWhy self-expression and joy are powerful tools for personal transformationAnna’s story reminds us that our bodies don’t lie, joy is a radical act, and that sometimes the most powerful transformations come from sitting still long enough to hear ourselves. If you’ve ever felt pulled in too many directions or wondered what it might look like to trust your intuition, this conversation will inspire you to take the next right step—for you.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people navigating life’s beautiful, bumpy middle!Guest ResourcesConnect with Anna on FacebookConnect with Anna on InstagramConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & Subscribe

Burnout is more than just being tired—it’s about finding out the limits of a life that no longer fits. In this solo bonus episode, Stephanie pulls together stories from past guests who pushed themselves to the edge by doing everything “right”—only to discover that success built on someone else’s terms can quietly unravel your sense of self. From panic attacks to identity crises, she explores the hidden patterns of burnout and the radical clarity that can emerge when you finally start listening to your own voice. If you've ever wondered, “Is this really it?”—this one’s for you.Reflections: What Burnout Is Really Trying to Tell YouWhat happens when the success you’ve worked so hard to achieve starts to break you down? In this special solo episode, Stephanie takes us on a deep and thoughtful journey into burnout—not just as exhaustion, but as a wake-up call. Inspired by her recent conversation with Angela Hwang, and supported by clips from past guests including Jennifer Arthurton, Tara McFarland, AdaPia D’Errico, Julie Hutsell-Starling, and Mindy Amita Aisling, Stephanie unpacks how burnout intersects with the invisible cost of “doing everything right” and the powerful, often uncomfortable process of learning to trust your own voice.Episode HighlightsWhy burnout isn't a failure—it's a signal that something deeper needs your attentionHow following someone else’s script can lead to an identity crisis around age 40The three patterns of burnout that show up most often (and how to recognize them)What happens when the external validation you've relied on starts to falterReal stories of women who lost themselves in their roles—and how they found their way backHow tuning into your body, voice and intuition can lead to radical transformationThe truth about hearing your own voice: it’s not loud, but it is honestDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

What happens when you reach the top—and realize it’s not what you wanted? Angela Hwang had the résumé, the accolades, and the paycheck, but behind the scenes, her health was deteriorating and her happiness was nowhere to be found. In this honest and eye-opening episode, Angela shares how a health scare, motherhood, and burnout collided to spark a total life reset. If you’ve ever wondered whether there’s more to life than climbing the next rung, this conversation is for you.Guest Bio Angela Hwang has more than 18 years of experience in marketing and business development. Angela has helped to raise more than $150M in direct investments for real estate fund managers since 2020 and contributed to significant revenue growth for various tech startups since 2016. She has a wide array of experience across multiple industries including financial services, real estate, legal and technology. In 2021, Angela was selected as one of 40 under 40 by Silicon Valley Business Journal for her marketing leadership. Angela graduated from University of California, Berkeley with a B.A. in Mass Communications and a B.A. in Sociology and earned her M.B.A. from Pepperdine University.Turning 40 and unlearning the American DreamAngela Hwang checked every box on the “successful life” checklist her parents handed her, and then realized none of it was making her happy. Born in South Korea and raised in the U.S., Angela spent decades chasing stability, prestige, and approval—especially from her parents, who had sacrificed everything for the American Dream. She climbed through the corporate ranks, earned accolades like Silicon Valley’s 40 Under 40, and reached the coveted C-suite. But behind the scenes, she was unraveling. It wasn’t until a terrifying health scare and the sobering clarity of new motherhood that Angela finally began to question the life she had built—and discovered the strength to redefine it.Episode Highlights:Angela’s upbringing as a first-generation Korean-American and internalizing a success script rooted in her parents’ fear, thus the immense pressure to achieve “safe” success.Climbing the corporate ladder—and the personal cost of doing so while hiding burnout and physical symptoms.The turning point: how becoming a mother and experiencing a health crisis forced Angela to reevaluate her priorities.Breaking generational narratives around work, safety, and entrepreneurship.The shift from external validation (titles, salaries, luxury goods) to internal fulfillment and presence.Selling off her designer wardrobe, trading Silicon Valley hustle for quiet comfort—and finding her true self in the process.How sleep, stillness, and finally listening to her own voice laid the foundation for shedding her parents’ fears and starting her own business.In this deeply honest conversation, Angela Hwang shares what it’s like to reach the top of the ladder your parents built for you—and realize it’s leaning against the wrong wall. Her story is an invitation to question the narratives we inherit, especially when they’re rooted in fear, sacrifice, and survival. If you’ve ever wondered whose life you’re really living, this episode will leave you thinking—and maybe even reimagining what your next chapter could be.If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh with a friend who might need a little inspiration of their own.Guest ResourcesAngela is offering TBFO listeners a FREE Complementary Strategy SessionDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise.

Among the many strange and funny things that can happen as you reach midlife is this: just when everything feels like it’s falling apart, something creative starts to stir. In this bonus episode, Stephanie explores the idea of a midlife creative awakening—inspired by past guests who picked up paint brushes, pens, instruments, and more in the messy middle of their lives. Creativity often shows up when we need it most. Because sometimes, when you think you need less on your plate, what you really need is something that’s just *yours*. You’ll hear reflections, real talk, and a few stories that might just remind you of yourself. If you’ve got a creative itch—or a long-lost hobby whispering in your ear—this one’s for you.Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ickConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

When Jenn Kacmar and Rose Planer met at an engagement party, they had no idea their friendship would become the anchor that carried them through midlife chaos. With a decade between them, different careers, and wildly different life stages, their bond became a lifeline—especially during the isolating early days of the pandemic. In this heartfelt and humorous episode, they share how they supported each other through burnout, motherhood, and identity shifts—and how they turned all of it into art. If you've ever felt alone in your midlife unraveling, this conversation will remind you that the right friendship can change everything.Guest Bio Fifteen years ago, Jenn Kacmar was balancing working as an ob/gyn at the county health department, parenting two elementary-aged boys, and surviving the culture shock of life in a small Southern town after a decade living in New England. More than ten years younger, Rose Planer was newly engaged and preparing to move to her soon-to-be husband’s hometown where she would hold a few different jobs, including palliative care coordinator and trauma therapist, before starting her own family.In many ways, we owe our friendship to women a generation ahead of us who brought us together at, of all things, an engagement party. While we couldn’t predict the depths our friendship would reach, we both felt the “zing” of recognizing a kindred spirit at that initial meeting. Over the years, we have supported each other, learned from each other, bickered with each other. We “bubbled” together during Covid. And, yes, we have even survived traveling together! But one of the best things to come out of our friendship was creative collaboration. Writing a novel together propelled our friendship to a new level. This life-changing experience offered a tremendous opportunity to learn more about ourselves and each other. Working together to frame a story, to bring it and its characters to life, was both challenging and exhilarating. Having a teammate to share in the process proved invaluable—when one of us had an off day, the other picked up the slack and vice versa. We bring complementary strengths to our partnership and believe we have both become better writers from working together. More importantly, however, we feel compelled to share the secret power this friendship revealed: the power of connection and creative collaboration to extinguish the mid-life "Ick."Turning 40 and making art out of the messWhat if your midlife transformation didn’t happen alone—but in lockstep with your best friend? In this episode, we meet Jenn Kacmar and Rose Planer, who navigated the complexities of motherhood, identity, and burnout during the pandemic—and found a lifeline in each other. Their friendship began at an engagement party and blossomed into a life-saving connection that not only saw them through the icky, isolating parts of midlife, but also gave birth to something beautiful: a novel they co-wrote during lockdown. These women didn’t just survive; they created.In this episode, you'll hear:How Jenn and Rose’s unlikely friendship began across a 12-year age gap—and why it became their greatest midlife survival toolJenn’s journey from high-achieving OB-GYN to burnout and reinventionRose’s pivot from aspiring journalist to therapist after the loss of her sisterThe crushing loneliness of motherhood during COVID—and how they turned it into creative fuelHonest reflections on alcohol as a culturally “acceptable” coping mechanism for overwhelmed momsThe transformative power of collaboration, and how their friendship turned into a creative partnershipWhy their novel Snowflakes in the South became both a lifeline and a legacyOne last thing…Jenn and Rose are proof that friendship can be a transformative force—not just a comfort, but a catalyst. Their story is a...