The Big Four Oh: The Podcast About Turning 40

At 43, Ray Martin’s world fell apart. His marriage ended, his business unraveled, and his father passed away, all within months. What looked like an ending became the beginning of his midlife transformation. In this episode, Ray shares how he went from broken and lost to discovering that “Ray the Businessman” was just a character he had been playing. Through an unexpected acting role, a six-month sabbatical that stretched into 14 years, and a backpack full of lessons on minimalism, meditation, and intuition, Ray learned how to align with his true self. His story is proof that when life implodes, it can be the opening to something extraordinary.Guest Bio Ray Martin, aka The Daily Explorer, is an entrepreneur and award-winning business leader. As a coach, mentor, facilitator, speaker, writer, and mindfulness teacher, he is a torchbearer for greater human consciousness. Ray is also a marathon runner and fundraiser. He’s on a mission to empower people to live authentically and to bring more joy and happiness into the world.Turning 40 and taking the next right stepAt 43, Ray Martin’s seemingly perfect life collapsed overnight. A thriving consulting firm, public recognition as the United Kingdom’s “Business Leader of the Year,” and a marriage that doubled as a business partnership: all of it came undone when his wife walked out and his father died within months of each other. Suddenly, the man who had done everything “right” was standing in the rubble of his own blueprint, wondering if happiness was forever out of reach. What followed was a radical reinvention that took Ray from despair in London to the stage in Australia, to a six-month backpacking trip across Asia that turned into 14 years of minimalist living, marathon running, and meditation. His journey shows us what can happen when you stop playing the character others expect you to be and start writing your own script.Highlights from this episode:How Ray’s life imploded at 43 despite having “checked every box” of success.The moment he realized “Ray the Businessman” was just a character he had created.Why listening to his gut, and asking for confirmation signals, became his compass.How a 10-day silent meditation retreat shifted his mindset from outside-in to inside-out happiness.The sabbatical that turned into 14 years of travel, minimalism, and discovery.The guiding principles he created to stop the cycle of negative self-talk.Building a foundation of trust in intuition that led him to running marathons, fundraising, and eventually writing his memoir, Life Without a Tie.Ray Martin’s story is a vivid reminder that midlife is less about crisis and more about opportunity. When the life he had built fell apart, he discovered that identity is flexible, happiness can be cultivated from within, and alignment with your true self often means following the path that feels effortless. His journey from boardrooms to backpacks invites us to reflect on the characters we play, the voices we listen to, and the possibility of stepping into the role of author and director of our own lives.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast so more people can hear these powerful stories of transformation.Guest ResourcesGet a signed copy of Ray’s book, Life Without a TieConnect with Ray on LinkedInDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick a...

Denise Lee’s path through midlife has been anything but simple. From surviving childhood trauma to battling addiction and the pressure to live up to cultural expectations, she spent years feeling like she was running behind everyone else. But her 40s brought a wake-up call: healing isn’t about timelines or comparisons, it’s about learning to trust yourself.  In this candid conversation, Denise shares how she rebuilt her inner voice, discovered what real leadership looks like, and finally began to trust herself. If you’ve ever felt behind on life’s timeline or trapped by old patterns, this episode will show you what it means to wake up in midlife.Guest Bio Denise G. Lee is a healing and leadership coach who helps high-achieving adults untangle the inner scripts they didn’t know they were living by. She works with people who look like they have it all together—but quietly wonder why it still feels hollow. In her work, Denise invites honest reflection on identity, success, and the invisible expectations we carry, especially as we age. Her podcast and coaching explore what it means to lead from emotional clarity, not cultural pressure.Turning 40 and tuning into a new frequencyWhen Denise G. Lee hit her mid-30s, she was juggling new motherhood, an immigrant identity that didn’t fit neatly into any box, and the heavy weight of a painful childhood. From the outside, her life looked picture-perfect, but on the inside, Denise was still carrying chaos, addiction, and self-doubt. It wasn’t until a series of wake-up calls, including getting kicked out of a therapist’s office and facing hard truths in recovery, that she began the long process of “growing up” on the inside. Now in her 40s, Denise has stepped into a life of healing, self-trust, and authentic leadership, and she’s sharing what it really takes to get there.Highlights from this episode:How Denise’s immigrant upbringing shaped her sense of identity and belonging.Becoming a first-time mom at 35 and wrestling with feelings of being “too old” and unprepared.The chaos and trauma of her childhood, and how it stunted her inner growth.The pivotal moment at 27 when a therapist sent her to Sexaholics Anonymous, forcing her to face her addictions and denial.What it meant to outgrow her environment and seek a fresh start in Texas.The danger of chasing image and comparison, and how Denise learned to stop living by others’ timelines.Redefining leadership, moving away from manipulation toward empathy, resilience, and safety.The ongoing process of tuning into her “inner voices” and learning to trust herself.In this episode, you’ll hear a story that proves growth isn’t linear: it’s layered, messy, and deeply human. Denise’s journey from chaos to clarity is a reminder that midlife isn’t about hitting milestones on a set timeline. It’s about waking up, tuning into the right frequencies within yourself, and learning to lead your own life with compassion and courage.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps more people find the show, and reminds them they’re not alone in this wild midlife transition.Guest ResourcesConnect with Denise on Facebook Connect with Denise on InstagramGet Denise’s Life Script Questionnaire, free for listeners of The Big Four OhDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. a...

What happens when a Google search changes the course of your life? Sabrina Victoria shares how she broke free from a controlling, abusive relationship and rebuilt her life from scratch. From secret bank accounts and late-night hustle to the moment she realized she had a choice, Sabrina’s story is raw, powerful, and full of lessons about resilience and self-discovery. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a situation that seemed impossible to escape, this conversation will show you that there’s always a way forward, and that your voice and your power are waiting to be reclaimed.Guest Bio Sabrina Victoria is a seasoned entrepreneur and TEDx speaker with a background in door-to-door sales. She brings over two decades of experience of building and co-building multiple 6 and 7-figure businesses to Her Nation Global, a dynamic media platform showcasing women business owners through podcasts, virtual magazine features, and empowering events. Her charismatic leadership style centers on community building, education, and strategic networking as the core of success for women in business.Turning 40 and Googling 'why is my boyfriend so mean to me’Sabrina Victoria’s story is one of grit, resilience, and rebirth. Raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, she was disfellowshipped at just 20 years old after becoming a single mom. What followed was a tumble into isolation, addiction, and eventually an abusive relationship that nearly consumed her. But Sabrina’s midlife transformation began with one late-night Google search that opened her eyes, gave her a new language for what she was experiencing, and set her on a path to reclaim her life, her freedom, and ultimately, her voice. Today, she runs a community to empower women and she’s living proof that even in your darkest moment, hope and healing are possible.Highlights in this episode:How Sabrina’s strict religious upbringing shaped her early years—and left her vulnerable when she was cast outThe turning point when she chose sobriety and has stayed sober for the next 20 yearsThe insidious ways financial, emotional, and psychological abuse can strip away autonomyThe breakdown moment that led to the Google search that saved her lifeThe secret businesses, hidden bank account, and quiet determination that became her ticket to freedomThe role of personal development voices like Lisa Nichols, Tony Robbins, and Les Brown in keeping her motivatedHow Sabrina has navigated relationships in her 30s and 40s and found balance between masculine drive and feminine energyThe liberating realization that she had a choice—and how that awareness changed everythingSabrina’s journey from being silenced and controlled to finding her voice is inspiring. Her story reminds us that midlife transitions often come with both hardship and profound opportunity. She illustrates how resilience, resourcefulness, and a refusal to give up “until” can transform even the most difficult circumstances into a life filled with freedom, balance, and authenticity.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast so more people can discover these stories of midlife transformation.Guest ResourcesConnect with Sabrina on FacebookConnect with Sabrina on InstagramDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick 

Turning 40 and breaking down in banana breadWhen Edel Howlin moved from Ireland to Houston in her late 20s, she was certain she was building her dream life. She found her calling in public radio and was thriving professionally. But a decade later, and another relocation, to Philadelphia in her late 30s, triggered a profound and unexpected unraveling. What started as a fresh chapter became a full-on identity crisis. Without a job to define her and overwhelmed by change, Edel found herself crying, storming out of the house, and eventually taking refuge in bed with a cup of tea and banana bread. That messy, quiet breakdown would become the birthplace of her reinvention. In this episode, Edel shares how she built a business from the ashes, and why she’s never been happier.Highlights from this episode:Edel’s winding path from a science degree in Ireland to her dream job in public radio in HoustonWhy moving to a new city in her late 30s upended her identity, and led to a full-blown midlife crisisHow a literal pause (in bed, with banana bread) helped her start listening to her inner voiceThe moment she realized she’d been chasing “success” instead of happinessHow gardening unexpectedly planted the seeds for her next chapterThe surprising empowerment of realizing: I am enough, without needing outside validationWhy her business now feels like joy, not just workEdel Howlin’s story is a beautiful reminder that sometimes, the path to who we’re meant to be isn’t straight; it’s full of detours, breakdowns, and banana bread-fueled breakthroughs. In her 20s, she followed her husband and her love for radio across the Atlantic. In her late 30s, she followed her husband to Philadelphia, and promptly lost her sense of self. But in the pause, she began to hear her own voice. What emerged was not just a new career path, but a deeper understanding of herself. Edel's midlife transition wasn’t graceful, but it was powerful. And today, she’s living life on her own terms, with more joy and confidence than ever before.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. Your support helps more people find these stories of midlife transformation.Guest ResourcesConnect with Edel on Facebook Connect with Edel on Instagram Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts Spotifya...

What if the thing you’ve been trying to fix your whole life isn’t actually the thing that needs fixing? At 38, Patty Cabot began a journey that would unravel decades of emotional pain, body image struggles, and silence surrounding childhood trauma. In this raw and inspiring conversation, Patty shares how deep inner work—not dieting—finally brought her peace, perspective, and a surprising path to love. If you’ve ever felt stuck or wondered why certain patterns keep repeating, this episode offers powerful insight into healing, self-trust, and reclaiming your story.Guest Bio Beginning in her teens, Patty Cabot battled drastic weight fluctuations. Desperate to break the cycle and thinking it was what prevented her from meeting men, in her late 30s Patty embarked on a therapeutic journey that led to her unresolved childhood sexual abuse. Over 12 years she worked with her therapist and EMDR, a chiropractor to release trapped “fight or flight” responses, a sex therapist and attended group therapy for sexual abuse. Patty published Not That Girl Anymore, a memoir about the alternative therapies she explored in the hopes of undoing the ruin within to claim the happiness she – and everyone else struggling with trauma – deserves.Turning 40 and finding the wound beneath the weightWhat if the thing you’ve been battling for decades - your weight, your relationships, your shame - was never the real issue? This week’s guest, Patty Cabot, spent 20 years trapped in a cycle of yo-yo dieting, self-doubt, and emotional isolation before a turning point at 38 led her to finally confront the childhood trauma she thought she had long since buried and forgotten about. Through therapy, unconventional healing modalities, and a fierce determination to find love and wholeness, Patty transformed her life from the inside out. In this episode, you'll hear about:*Trigger warning* discussion of childhood sexual abuse; no detailsHow a cycle of weight loss and gain led Patty to uncover deeper unresolved traumaThe transformative power of EMDR therapy and what it taught her about her pastWhy anger was the only emotion she could access, and how she learned to feel moreHow vulnerability became a gateway to healing and connectionThe role running (literally!) played in finding love and confidenceWhy publishing her book helped lift the final layer of shameThe profound insight: “it’s not your shame, and it’s not your secret to keep”Patty Cabot’s midlife transition is a powerful example of what’s possible when we stop treating the symptom and start addressing the root cause. After decades of believing her weight and romantic struggles were the problem, Patty finally faced her childhood trauma head-on, peeling back the layers of self-protection to rediscover her worth and capacity for love. Her healing wasn’t linear, but it was bold, and in the process, she transformed shame into self-acceptance and silence into storytelling. Today, she’s helping others believe that healing is not only possible—it’s worth it.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh wherever you listen to podcasts. Your support means the world!Guest ResourcesGet your FREE copy of Patty’s book, Not That Girl AnymoreConnect with Patty on Facebook Connect with Patty on Instagram Connect with Patty on TikTokDo you have the Midlife Ick?Download...

Anne Montgomery was one of the first women to anchor ESPN’s SportsCenter—but when her TV career ended abruptly at 38, she found herself broke, heartbroken, and convinced her best days were behind her. In this gripping and often funny episode, Anne shares the highs of breaking barriers in sports media and the lows of losing it all. What came next? A completely unexpected new identity that brought her more joy and meaning than she ever imagined. If you've ever faced a reinvention you didn’t ask for, Anne’s story will make you laugh, tear up, and rethink what it means to start over.Guest Bio Anne Butler Montgomery has worked as a television sportscaster, newspaper and magazine writer, teacher, author, and amateur sports official. She worked for five TV stations, including ESPN where she anchored SportsCenter and finished her on-camera broadcasting career with a two-year stint as the studio host for the NBA’s Phoenix Suns. Montgomery was a freelance and/or staff reporter for six publications and has written six traditionally published novels. Montgomery taught journalism and communication skills in a Title I high school for 20 years and was an amateur sports official for four decades, a time during which she called football, baseball, ice hockey, soccer, and basketball games. Montgomery is a foster mom to three sons and a daughter. When she can, she indulges in her passions: rock collecting, scuba diving, and playing her guitar.Turning 40 and facing a midlife curveballAnne Montgomery broke barriers as one of the first female sportscasters in the U.S., working for five television stations—including anchoring SportsCenter at ESPN—during an era when women were barely visible in sports media. But when her contract wasn’t renewed at age 38, her career came to an abrupt halt, and she faced a painful truth: the industry thought she was too old to be on TV. What followed was a years-long identity crisis marked by debt, self-doubt, and the collapse of her marriage. And yet, as she shares in this remarkable conversation, Anne's midlife “derailment” led her to the most meaningful work—and relationships—of her life.In this heartfelt and often hilarious episode, Anne recounts the twists and turns of a life that didn’t go as planned, but ended up exactly where she was meant to be.Highlights from the episode:The moment in high school when Anne insisted on reading the sports—and never looked backHow she trained as a referee in five sports to learn the rules and build credibility as a sportscasterWhat it was like to be the only woman in the locker room, on the sidelines, and at ESPN in the 1980sThe brutal way she was pushed out of TV and how long it took to find her footing againThe unexpected friendship that helped her shift perspective and stop feeling sorry for herselfHow returning to school at 42 led her to a 20-year teaching career that reshaped her identityThe emotional story of how she became a mother—at age 55—to one of her former studentsAnne Montgomery’s story is one of perseverance, reinvention, and unexpected blessings. What began as a pioneering career in sports broadcasting eventually gave way to an equally meaningful chapter as a teacher and foster mother. Her journey reminds us that losing what we thought we wanted can clear space for what’s truly meant for us—and that midlife transitions, no matter how messy, can become the catalyst for our most profound growth.If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps others find the show—and who knows, it might help someone else feel a little less alone in their own midlife transition.Guest ResourcesConnect with Anne on Facebooka...

What if slowing down isn’t a setback, but a turning point? In this episode, Stephanie explores how midlife often presses pause on our hustle-filled lives -  and what looks at first like a punishment is usually an invitation. Through powerful stories from past guests and her own experience, she unpacks how stillness can help us reconnect with what really matters—and why our worth was never meant to be measured by productivity. If you’ve been feeling the pull to step off the hamster wheel (or if life has already pushed you off), this episode offers the clarity, compassion, and company you didn’t know you needed.Reflections: The Cost of Hustle in MidlifeIn this episode, Stephanie explores the hard-earned wisdom that comes when midlife forces us to slow down. Whether through burnout, illness, or emotional exhaustion, many of us hit a moment where hustle stops working, and stillness becomes not just necessary, but enlightening. Drawing from past guest stories and her own experience, Stephanie reflects on how slowing down can shift our relationship with productivity, identity, and self-worth. Midlife, it turns out, might just be the invitation we need to listen more closely to the voice within—and discover a gentler, more honest way of being.In this episode, you'll hear:Why hustle is so deeply ingrained for many of us—and how it eventually starts to break downThe breaking points that forced past guests like Anna Brooke, Tina Bakehouse, and Jennifer Arthurton to stop pushingHow quiet moments revealed surprising truths for Stephanie Rose and Steve VincentThe disorientation (and gift) of realizing you don’t really know yourselfThe difference between judgment and discernment—and why it mattersHow slowing down opens space to reconnect with long-lost parts of ourselvesStephanie’s personal journey toward redefining productivity on her own termSlowing down isn’t the end of ambition—it’s the beginning of wisdom. In the stillness, we stop performing life and start living inside it. Whether midlife has already forced your pause or you’re just beginning to question the pace, this episode is a gentle reminder that your inner voice is worth listening to—and it’s probably not asking you to hustle.If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh with a friend. It might be just the nudge they need today.Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts Spotify

When Anna Brooke heard a mysterious voice say “burlesque dancer” during a meditation, she had no idea it would lead to a full-blown metamorphosis. Known on stage as the Reverend Legs Malone, Anna built a dazzling career that lit her up—until her body forced her to stop. In this deeply human episode, she opens up about listening to intuition, navigating grief, and learning to slow down. From the thrill of the spotlight to the quiet power of discernment, Anna’s story is a bold invitation to shed the shoulds and embrace joy on your own terms.Guest Bio Anna Brooke is an author, speaker, and healing arts practitioner dedicated to helping people reconnect with their hearts and core creative spark. She is the author of the award-winning book Stripped Down: How Burlesque Led Me Home and co-author of WRITE! Your Guide to Revealing the Writer Within. She is also known as Rev. Legs Malone, a burlesque performer, show producer, educator and advocate who has been featured in Page Six, Buzzfeed, and Huffington Post. She has taught her transformational workshops nationally and internationally since 2010.Turning 40 and trading high heels for healingWhat happens when you finally listen to the quiet voice inside you—and it says “burlesque dancer”? Anna Brooke’s story is a masterclass in trusting your gut, embracing your weird, and healing from the burnout that comes from doing all the “right” things. From her early days of internal tug-of-war between what she wanted and what others expected, to becoming Rev. Legs Malone on the stages of New York City, Anna shares how stepping fully into joy changed everything. When a back injury at 39 forced her to slow down, she began a deeper journey—this time into the healing arts, entrepreneurship, and the hard-won clarity of her 40s.Episode Highlights:How Anna navigated a lifelong conflict between doing what she wanted and what she “should” doThe serendipitous moment when intuition told her to become a burlesque dancer—and how she listenedCreating and evolving the on-stage persona of Rev. Legs MaloneThe toll of hustle culture on her physical health, and the injury that forced a complete lifestyle shiftFinding strength through slowing down, healing, and learning to trust herselfLetting go of the “shoulds” and learning to follow discernment over judgmentWhy self-expression and joy are powerful tools for personal transformationAnna’s story reminds us that our bodies don’t lie, joy is a radical act, and that sometimes the most powerful transformations come from sitting still long enough to hear ourselves. If you’ve ever felt pulled in too many directions or wondered what it might look like to trust your intuition, this conversation will inspire you to take the next right step—for you.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people navigating life’s beautiful, bumpy middle!Guest ResourcesConnect with Anna on FacebookConnect with Anna on InstagramConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & Subscribe

Burnout is more than just being tired—it’s about finding out the limits of a life that no longer fits. In this solo bonus episode, Stephanie pulls together stories from past guests who pushed themselves to the edge by doing everything “right”—only to discover that success built on someone else’s terms can quietly unravel your sense of self. From panic attacks to identity crises, she explores the hidden patterns of burnout and the radical clarity that can emerge when you finally start listening to your own voice. If you've ever wondered, “Is this really it?”—this one’s for you.Reflections: What Burnout Is Really Trying to Tell YouWhat happens when the success you’ve worked so hard to achieve starts to break you down? In this special solo episode, Stephanie takes us on a deep and thoughtful journey into burnout—not just as exhaustion, but as a wake-up call. Inspired by her recent conversation with Angela Hwang, and supported by clips from past guests including Jennifer Arthurton, Tara McFarland, AdaPia D’Errico, Julie Hutsell-Starling, and Mindy Amita Aisling, Stephanie unpacks how burnout intersects with the invisible cost of “doing everything right” and the powerful, often uncomfortable process of learning to trust your own voice.Episode HighlightsWhy burnout isn't a failure—it's a signal that something deeper needs your attentionHow following someone else’s script can lead to an identity crisis around age 40The three patterns of burnout that show up most often (and how to recognize them)What happens when the external validation you've relied on starts to falterReal stories of women who lost themselves in their roles—and how they found their way backHow tuning into your body, voice and intuition can lead to radical transformationThe truth about hearing your own voice: it’s not loud, but it is honestDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

What happens when you reach the top—and realize it’s not what you wanted? Angela Hwang had the résumé, the accolades, and the paycheck, but behind the scenes, her health was deteriorating and her happiness was nowhere to be found. In this honest and eye-opening episode, Angela shares how a health scare, motherhood, and burnout collided to spark a total life reset. If you’ve ever wondered whether there’s more to life than climbing the next rung, this conversation is for you.Guest Bio Angela Hwang has more than 18 years of experience in marketing and business development. Angela has helped to raise more than $150M in direct investments for real estate fund managers since 2020 and contributed to significant revenue growth for various tech startups since 2016. She has a wide array of experience across multiple industries including financial services, real estate, legal and technology. In 2021, Angela was selected as one of 40 under 40 by Silicon Valley Business Journal for her marketing leadership. Angela graduated from University of California, Berkeley with a B.A. in Mass Communications and a B.A. in Sociology and earned her M.B.A. from Pepperdine University.Turning 40 and unlearning the American DreamAngela Hwang checked every box on the “successful life” checklist her parents handed her, and then realized none of it was making her happy. Born in South Korea and raised in the U.S., Angela spent decades chasing stability, prestige, and approval—especially from her parents, who had sacrificed everything for the American Dream. She climbed through the corporate ranks, earned accolades like Silicon Valley’s 40 Under 40, and reached the coveted C-suite. But behind the scenes, she was unraveling. It wasn’t until a terrifying health scare and the sobering clarity of new motherhood that Angela finally began to question the life she had built—and discovered the strength to redefine it.Episode Highlights:Angela’s upbringing as a first-generation Korean-American and internalizing a success script rooted in her parents’ fear, thus the immense pressure to achieve “safe” success.Climbing the corporate ladder—and the personal cost of doing so while hiding burnout and physical symptoms.The turning point: how becoming a mother and experiencing a health crisis forced Angela to reevaluate her priorities.Breaking generational narratives around work, safety, and entrepreneurship.The shift from external validation (titles, salaries, luxury goods) to internal fulfillment and presence.Selling off her designer wardrobe, trading Silicon Valley hustle for quiet comfort—and finding her true self in the process.How sleep, stillness, and finally listening to her own voice laid the foundation for shedding her parents’ fears and starting her own business.In this deeply honest conversation, Angela Hwang shares what it’s like to reach the top of the ladder your parents built for you—and realize it’s leaning against the wrong wall. Her story is an invitation to question the narratives we inherit, especially when they’re rooted in fear, sacrifice, and survival. If you’ve ever wondered whose life you’re really living, this episode will leave you thinking—and maybe even reimagining what your next chapter could be.If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh with a friend who might need a little inspiration of their own.Guest ResourcesAngela is offering TBFO listeners a FREE Complementary Strategy SessionDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise.

Among the many strange and funny things that can happen as you reach midlife is this: just when everything feels like it’s falling apart, something creative starts to stir. In this bonus episode, Stephanie explores the idea of a midlife creative awakening—inspired by past guests who picked up paint brushes, pens, instruments, and more in the messy middle of their lives. Creativity often shows up when we need it most. Because sometimes, when you think you need less on your plate, what you really need is something that’s just *yours*. You’ll hear reflections, real talk, and a few stories that might just remind you of yourself. If you’ve got a creative itch—or a long-lost hobby whispering in your ear—this one’s for you.Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ickConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

When Jenn Kacmar and Rose Planer met at an engagement party, they had no idea their friendship would become the anchor that carried them through midlife chaos. With a decade between them, different careers, and wildly different life stages, their bond became a lifeline—especially during the isolating early days of the pandemic. In this heartfelt and humorous episode, they share how they supported each other through burnout, motherhood, and identity shifts—and how they turned all of it into art. If you've ever felt alone in your midlife unraveling, this conversation will remind you that the right friendship can change everything.Guest Bio Fifteen years ago, Jenn Kacmar was balancing working as an ob/gyn at the county health department, parenting two elementary-aged boys, and surviving the culture shock of life in a small Southern town after a decade living in New England. More than ten years younger, Rose Planer was newly engaged and preparing to move to her soon-to-be husband’s hometown where she would hold a few different jobs, including palliative care coordinator and trauma therapist, before starting her own family.In many ways, we owe our friendship to women a generation ahead of us who brought us together at, of all things, an engagement party. While we couldn’t predict the depths our friendship would reach, we both felt the “zing” of recognizing a kindred spirit at that initial meeting. Over the years, we have supported each other, learned from each other, bickered with each other. We “bubbled” together during Covid. And, yes, we have even survived traveling together! But one of the best things to come out of our friendship was creative collaboration. Writing a novel together propelled our friendship to a new level. This life-changing experience offered a tremendous opportunity to learn more about ourselves and each other. Working together to frame a story, to bring it and its characters to life, was both challenging and exhilarating. Having a teammate to share in the process proved invaluable—when one of us had an off day, the other picked up the slack and vice versa. We bring complementary strengths to our partnership and believe we have both become better writers from working together. More importantly, however, we feel compelled to share the secret power this friendship revealed: the power of connection and creative collaboration to extinguish the mid-life "Ick."Turning 40 and making art out of the messWhat if your midlife transformation didn’t happen alone—but in lockstep with your best friend? In this episode, we meet Jenn Kacmar and Rose Planer, who navigated the complexities of motherhood, identity, and burnout during the pandemic—and found a lifeline in each other. Their friendship began at an engagement party and blossomed into a life-saving connection that not only saw them through the icky, isolating parts of midlife, but also gave birth to something beautiful: a novel they co-wrote during lockdown. These women didn’t just survive; they created.In this episode, you'll hear:How Jenn and Rose’s unlikely friendship began across a 12-year age gap—and why it became their greatest midlife survival toolJenn’s journey from high-achieving OB-GYN to burnout and reinventionRose’s pivot from aspiring journalist to therapist after the loss of her sisterThe crushing loneliness of motherhood during COVID—and how they turned it into creative fuelHonest reflections on alcohol as a culturally “acceptable” coping mechanism for overwhelmed momsThe transformative power of collaboration, and how their friendship turned into a creative partnershipWhy their novel Snowflakes in the South became both a lifeline and a legacyOne last thing…Jenn and Rose are proof that friendship can be a transformative force—not just a comfort, but a catalyst. Their story is a...

In this short bonus episode, Steph unpacks the deeper themes from her conversation with Elizabeth Makepeace—no listening homework required. Through Elizabeth’s story, Steph explores how unconscious patterns from childhood shape our adult relationships, often without us realizing it. She dives into what it means to break the caretaker cycle, how to recognize when care turns into codependency, and why midlife is the perfect time to stop over-functioning and start listening to your own needs. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why does this keep happening?”—this episode is for you. It's a thoughtful, eye-opening reflection on moving from survival mode to self-honoring in the season of Second Adulthood.Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

When Elizabeth Makepeace fell for a younger, free-spirited musician, she thought she’d found the love foretold in a dream. But what began as a spiritual connection turned into a controlling, emotionally draining marriage that forced her to confront an old pattern she thought she’d outgrown: the compulsion to care for others at the cost of herself. In this deeply honest conversation, Elizabeth shares how she broke the cycle, rebuilt trust with her children, and finally found peace—not just in a partner, but within herself. If you’ve ever wondered why certain roles keep showing up in your relationships, this episode offers insight, healing, and hope.Guest Bio If you're curious about energy/magic then you need to meet Elizabeth Elenor. Her journey through her 40s was the progression of taking back her power as she left her narcissistic marriage and he started dating a 21 year old. A deep dive into personal power led her to discover the secrets of alchemy; she merged this knowledge with 25 years of being a healer to create The Ascendance Code and energetically align with her Higher Self Wisdom.Turning 40 and resigning as the family fixerElizabeth Makepeace was living a vibrant life in the tropics of Far North Queensland—raising her kids, running a successful healing practice, and feeling aligned in mind, body, and spirit. But when she met a charming, younger musician who swept her off her feet, her well-calibrated world began to shift. What started as a dream romance quickly turned into a rigid, emotionally complex marriage that echoed a painful pattern from her past: the need to care for and fix others, often at her own expense.In this candid and deeply personal episode, Elizabeth shares how a midlife unraveling—marked by loss, anxiety, and the crumbling of family trust—pushed her to finally recognize a generational caretaking pattern she’d been unconsciously replaying. Her story is one of heartbreak, healing, and ultimately, liberation. And yes—her real-life love story ends with a twist that feels straight out of a fairy tale (complete with a symbolic last name!).Episode HighlightsElizabeth’s early life as a caretaker for her ill father shaped her subconscious belief that love means caregivingHow a “dream come true” romance slowly morphed into an emotionally taxing marriage marked by control and rigidityThe moment she realized she couldn’t heal her partner—and the empowerment of walking awayRebuilding trust with her children and healing her own trauma through bodywork and reflectionThe emotional and spiritual reckoning that came with turning 40—and the clarity it broughtHer advice for listeners: examine the “movie” of your life and ask why certain characters keep showing up in the same rolesThe joyful discovery of a new, healthy relationship built on peace and mutual careElizabeth’s story is a wonderful reminder that no matter how much personal work we’ve done, there are always deeper layers waiting to be revealed. Her midlife unraveling wasn’t a failure—it was the doorway to true healing. By identifying the patterns that kept her stuck and tracing them back to their origins, she was able to finally break the cycle. And in doing so, she made peace—with her past, her pain, and eventually, with a man whose name poetically symbolized that transformation.If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to rate, follow and review the podcast. Your support helps more listeners discover these transformative stories.Guest ResourcesGet Elizabeth’s Love CodeConnect with Elizabeth on Facebooka...

At age 39, Francesca Montillo had a thriving healthcare career at a prestigious Boston hospital—but her heart was in Italy, dreaming of pasta, wine, and sun-soaked adventures. In this episode, she shares how she slowly and strategically built a food and travel business on the side, eventually trading her secure 9-to-5 for a life she once thought was too good to be true. From pandemic pivots to cultural expectations and midlife realizations, Francesca’s story is a masterclass in following your gut, even when it takes 20 years to listen. If you’ve ever wondered what might be waiting on the other side of “what if,” this conversation is for you.Guest Bio Francesca Montillo grew up in Italy until the age of 11, upon which time she moved to Boston with her family. She spent every summer after the move back in Calabria, enjoying time at the beach, local markets and spending time with childhood friends. It was during her trips back that her love for Italy grew even more intensely. Her initial career ambitions were to work in law enforcement and she holds a Bachelor's degree in Criminology and Law. After a short stint in the field, she went on to earn a Masters in Healthcare Management instead. After a successful 22+ year career in healthcare management for both private and governmental sectors, Francesca reinvented herself again and took the leap and started her own business, combining her love of Italian travels and cooking. Via her business, Lazy Italian Culinary Adventures, Francesca is able to showcase her native land and its cuisine. Francesca has also written three Amazon bestselling cooking books focusing on Italian dishes.Turning 40 and turning pasta into a paycheckFrancesca Montillo was living the dream—on paper. With a master’s degree in healthcare administration and a thriving job at a Harvard-affiliated hospital, she had what many would call a “great job.” But deep down, Francesca knew it wasn’t her dream. At 39, just shy of her milestone 40th birthday, she quietly began building a very different life—one steeped in Italian cuisine, rolling Tuscan hills, and the freedom of self-employment. Today, she leads delicious culinary adventures in Italy and has turned her side hustle into a full-blown business and lifestyle. In this episode, Francesca shares how she slowly and strategically transitioned from a traditional career to creating Lazy Italian Culinary Adventures, proving that it's never too late to design a life you love.Episode Highlights:How Francesca’s childhood in Calabria and Boston shaped her love for Italian food and culture.The early whispers of entrepreneurship—and why it took nearly 20 years to act on them.The delicate balance of building a business while holding down a demanding 9-to-5.How COVID nearly derailed her dream—and how she pivoted to Zoom cooking classes and writing cookbooks.What finally pushed her to walk away from a safe, successful career in healthcare.The cultural tug-of-war between traditional expectations and personal fulfillment.Why midlife was the perfect time for Francesca to bet on herself—and what she’d tell others standing at the same crossroads.This conversation is a reminder that the path to your dream life might not be a straight line—and that’s okay. Francesca’s story shows us the power of patience, planning, and trusting your gut—even if it takes two decades to do something about it. If you’ve ever thought “someday” could be “today,” this is the inspiration you’ve been waiting for.If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to rate, follow, and review The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps more people find us—and find the courage to make their own big midlife moves.Guest ResourcesConnect with...

What if your “successful” life started to feel like a slow, quiet heartbreak? In this episode, Steve Vincent shares how he went from burned-out high school vice principal to thriving freelance copywriter—by finally listening to the voice he’d been pushing down for years. He opens up about the emotional weight of staying in a life that looks good on paper but feels wrong in your soul—and how a couple of chance encounters cracked his world wide open. If you’re feeling stuck, restless, or wondering—‘is this all there is?’—this conversation will show you what becomes possible when you take the first brave step toward change.Guest Bio As a professional writer, teacher, spiritual coach, poet and author, Steve Vincent brings more than 33 years of experience to the table to help others overcome their challenges and live their dharma. A lover of sunsets, his search for the truth of our human existence has stretched from the sands of the Sunshine Coast to the hot springs of New Zealand, to the Peruvian Amazon for ayahuasca ceremonies, and has included many an energetic healing online and in person, and long hours alone pondering the meaning of life.Originally a high school teacher, faculty head and vice principal then freelance journalist, copywriter, writing coach and marketing consultant, his journey inwards via his popular book “Finding You” has unlocked the pain of the human experience, which emerges in his words that are said to move women to tears and make men squirm. Steve has spoken to audiences as large as 1500 and has coached groups of all ages and sizes. He appears on a weekly international spiritual broadcast and contributes to several weekly self-improvement movements.  A father of 4 now adult children, he lives on the sub-tropical Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia and when not writing and mentoring others, can be found at one of the beautiful local beaches communing with Mother Earth or gazing out to sea.Turning 40 and trading safety for soulfulWhat if the life you built—stable, successful, and safe—started to feel like a cage? This week’s guest, Steve Vincent, opens up about his courageous midlife transformation from high school vice principal to successful freelance copywriter. From the outside, Steve had it all: a leadership role in education, a loving family with four kids, a nice home by the water. But internally, he was wrestling with the quiet sadness of a life that felt too small for his spirit. In this conversation, Steve shares how he stopped ignoring that still, small voice and instead let it guide him toward a radically different—and much more fulfilling—path.Episode Highlights🌏 Growing up in Brisbane, Australia, with Catholic roots, and how early conditioning shaped his beliefs about success and security🧠 The subtle but persistent feeling that “this isn’t working anymore”—and the deep sadness that came with pretending it was✨ The power of seemingly small moments—like a passing comment at a seminar—that can flip the switch and open up new possibilities💼 How Steve used long service leave to “test drive” his dream of being a full-time copywriter🔄 The importance of motion: why getting unstuck often starts with simply doing something new🧘‍♂️ Emotional wisdom: learning to accept all of life’s seasons—and finding peace even in discomfort📋 A practical technique from Abraham Hicks—the “Placemat Process”—that helped Steve manage overwhelm and shift energy (and that Stephanie plans to try herself!)Steve’s story is a beautiful reminder that courage doesn’t always look like a dramatic leap—it often starts with a whisper in your soul and a single, intentional step forward. If you’re feeling stuck, take a cue from Steve: get into motion. Go to the seminar....

When Amita Sharma hit her 40s, her body started betraying her—crippling fatigue, brain fog, and relentless hot flashes—but doctors told her she was "fine." Frustrated and desperate for answers, she turned to holistic medicine, unknowingly setting herself on a path to revolutionize women's health. Amita shares her eye-opening journey through perimenopause, the shocking gaps in medical knowledge, and how she’s building a platform to give women affordable access to holistic care. If you’ve ever felt dismissed by doctors or struggled to make sense of your changing body, this episode is a must-listen. Guest Bio Amita is co-founder of NourishDoc, a global holistic wellness platform for women to manage their hormone transition from PMS to Postmenopause. Inspired by her perimenopausal journey and working in the high tech world, she felt unsupported and a need to bring the taboo topic of perimenopause at the workplace for an open discussion. In her experience of going through perimenopause, keeping it a secret added more stress to the perimenopause state. She is on a mission to make this taboo topic be part of DEI, health equity at work for women in their 40's who feel that they cannot discuss this with HR or their colleagues.Turning 40 and getting dismissed by doctorsFor years, Amita Sharma was a high-achieving professional balancing a demanding career in the tech industry with the responsibilities of motherhood. But as she entered her 40s, her body started sending distress signals—chronic fatigue, brain fog, erratic cycles, and mood swings—yet every doctor she saw insisted she was "normal." Frustrated and exhausted, Amita took matters into her own hands, diving deep into holistic medicine, Ayurveda, and functional health. What started as a personal journey to reclaim her vitality soon transformed into a mission to educate and empower other women. Now, through her platform, NourishDoc, Amita is revolutionizing access to credible, affordable, holistic health solutions for perimenopause and beyond.In This Episode, We Cover:🌿 The wake-up call: Amita’s debilitating fatigue and how doctors dismissed her symptoms🔥 The boardroom battle: Experiencing severe hot flashes in high-pressure corporate meetings🎓 From architecture to tech to holistic health: Amita’s unconventional career path🧠 Why brain fog and exhaustion aren’t "just stress"—and what your doctor might not tell you🔍 The shocking lack of research and education around women’s health post-reproduction🤝 How Amita’s interviews with 3,000+ holistic health experts led to the creation of NourishDoc Amita’s story is a powerful reminder that, at midlife, you can turn your breakdown into a breakthrough. By questioning the status quo and seeking out alternative solutions, she found a path to healing that mainstream medicine had overlooked. If you’ve ever felt dismissed or unheard when it comes to your health, this episode is for you. Tune in, take notes, and most importantly, know that you’re not alone. ✨ Enjoyed this episode? Don’t forget to rate, follow, and review The Big Four Oh Podcast! Your support helps us bring more important conversations like this to the world. 💙Guest ResourcesNourishDoc platformConnect with Amita on FacebookConnect with Amita on Instagram Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise.

Naomi Kreske thought she had built the perfect life—marriage, kids, and the white picket fence dream. But when her marriage crumbled, she found herself stuck in survival mode, barely holding it all together. For years, she unknowingly repeated the same patterns—ignoring her needs, attracting unhealthy relationships, and staying in a job that drained her. Everything changed when she realized the problem wasn’t just external—it was who she was being. In this episode, Naomi shares how she finally broke free, rebuilt her life on her own terms, and found love again—this time, the right kind. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a life that doesn’t quite fit, this conversation is for you.Guest Bio I’m Naomi Kreske, a certified life coach, founder of Keep Finding You life coaching, wife, and mother of four. I'm passionate about helping women transform their lives: finding out who they are, what they want and how to get there. After facing one of life’s toughest challenges—divorce—and rebuilding my life from the ground up, I’ve learned how to move from survival mode to truly thriving. It was an aha moment that changed everything for me, and now I have a career I love, a fulfilling marriage, and a life of purpose and happiness. My mission is to help other women find their own aha moment—empowering those who feel stuck, frustrated, and unfulfilled to take charge of their lives. Through my coaching, I help them keep finding themselves.Turning 40 and Breaking Free from Survival ModeNaomi Kreske thought she was living the dream—married young, staying home to raise raising three kids, and following the storybook life she always envisioned. But when her marriage unraveled, she found herself unexpectedly lost, navigating single motherhood, financial hardship, and an emotional tailspin that lasted years. Stuck in survival mode, Naomi unknowingly built walls around herself, attracting the wrong relationships and feeling disconnected from her own happiness. It wasn’t until she had a major wake-up call—thanks to a book that hit her like a lightning bolt—that she realized the problem wasn’t just external. It was time to rebuild, redefine, and create Naomi 2.0. This is the story of how she did it.In This Episode, We Discuss:How Naomi’s picture-perfect life began to crumble and why she felt like a failure.The slow slide into survival mode and how it shaped her relationships, career, and sense of self.The pivotal moment that made her realize she had to change who she was being in order to attract the life she wanted.The boundaries she set to stop accepting less than she deserved.Her journey out of the restaurant business she co-owned with her ex-husband and into a career she loves.How she found love—for real this time—after years of dating the wrong people.What happiness looks like now and why she’s more fulfilled than ever.Naomi’s story is a powerful reminder that transformation doesn’t happen overnight, and sometimes, the hardest part is realizing that you have to change before your life can. It took years of struggle, self-discovery, and bold decisions, but Naomi came out the other side happier, more fulfilled, and aligned with her true self. Her story proves that even after years of surviving, you can still learn to thrive.✨ If you loved this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and review The Big Four Oh Podcast! It helps more people find stories like Naomi’s that might just be the push they need. 💛Guest Resources & MentionsNaomi’s Midweek Find NewsletterConnect with Naomi on Facebook a...

In this bonus episode of the Big Four Oh Podcast, Steph delves deeper into themes discussed with Shā Sparks, focusing on the concepts of releasing the need for understanding to heal, and the importance of positive self-talk. Steph shares additional stories from previous guests, Julie Hutsell Starling (episode 99) and Jeff Glauser (episode 96), to illustrate these powerful transformation tools. Explore the concept of letting go of seeking closure and instead take actionable steps towards a better future, while also transforming internal dialogue to foster personal growth and healing. Steph encourages listeners to consider how they can apply these insights in their own lives.Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Shā Sparks’ midlife transformation was about breaking free—from toxic relationships, self-doubt, and the need for closure. After years in an abusive relationship, she realized she didn’t need answers or closure to heal—she just needed to walk away. Letting go of the “why” allowed her to move forward and build a life rooted in self-worth rather than past wounds. A big part of that journey was changing her self-talk—shifting from harsh self-judgment to a more compassionate view. Now, in her 40s, she’s thriving. Her story is a reminder that healing isn’t about understanding the past—it’s about reclaiming your future.Guest Bio As the CEO (Chief Excitement Officer) of Sparks of Fire International, Shā hosts her signature podcast, The Shā Sparks Show and is co-host of UnderWired podcast. She is also a Master Practitioner of NLP, Hypnosis, Reiki, Mental and Emotional Release, a Certified Fearless Living Coach and Trainer, the author of How to Get Your Voice Back, and the Co-Founder of the FIRESTARTERS Project.Turning 40 and Finding Peace Without AnswersAt 16, Shā Sparks found herself at rock bottom—arrested for a DUI and facing the reality of a life shaped by addiction, abuse, and deep emotional wounds. But that moment of humiliation was also the spark that ignited her journey toward healing. In this episode, she shares her incredible story of resilience, the power of breaking cycles, and how she found real love—not just in others, but within herself.Episode Highlights:The defining moment at 16 that changed the trajectory of Sha’s life.How childhood trauma shaped her early years and led to self-destructive habits.The pivotal decision to quit drinking at 25—and the surprising catalyst behind it.What kept her stuck in an abusive relationship for 12 years, and what finally set her free.How journaling and gratitude helped her regain control over her life.The profound realization that changed her understanding of love and relationships.Why she believes healing starts with the way we speak to ourselves.Shā’s story reminds us that healing isn’t about understanding why bad things happened—it’s about learning to let go and move forward. If you’re struggling to break free from patterns that no longer serve you, this conversation may be the push you need to start rewriting your story.If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and review The Big Four Oh Podcast! Your support helps us continue bringing you inspiring conversations like this one. 🎙✨Guest ResourcesShā’s Gift To TBFO Listeners: Complimentary Release Your Addiction MeditationConnect with Shā on FacebookConnect with Shā on Instagram Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend – A must-read for anyone struggling to set healthy limits in relationships.Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood – A book that sheds light on how childhood experiences influence our adult relationships.Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on Instagram