WTF is AuDHD?

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of suicidal thoughts, emotional manipulation / boundaries and trauma. Please listen with care.In part two of our conversation with Jen, we go deeper into the cost of living in survival mode for almost five decades - and what happens when the body and brain can no longer keep up.Jen shares how perimenopause intersected with her AuDHD and long-term burnout, amplifying symptoms and stripping away coping mechanisms that had held her together for years. We unpack early warning signs of burnout and perimenopause that are often missed or misattributed, particularly in late-diagnosed neurodivergent women.We talk about delayed processing and how it has impacted Jen’s relationships, safety, and sense of self — including how manipulation and abuse can go unnoticed until the nervous system finally has space to process what happened. Jen reflects on how pursuing a PhD exposed both her strengths and her limits, and the profound toll this took on her mental health.This episode is an honest, vulnerable conversation about collapse, grief, and the necessity of radically changing your life when survival is no longer sustainable. It’s for anyone who feels like they’ve been “coping” for decades - and are only now realising the cost.FOLLOW @autistic_connections (Jen)Book a session with Ellie ellieonthetelly.comSOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastLINKTREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In part one of our conversation with Jen @autistic_connections, we get chatting about the reality of being a late diagnosed AuDHD women, who also hit burnout in conjunction with perimenopause (poor Jen!).Jen shares her journey to diagnosis, how she was completely missed as a child, and then given incorrect diagnoses throughout her 20s, and the juxtaposition of being 'smart' but feeling 'dumb'. Jen talks about struggling with “basic” daily tasks, yet being capable of getting First Class Honours at University, before her nervous system hit breaking point, and how autistic burnout was the catalyst for diagnosis.We talk about what it’s like to be a deeply empathetic person who sometimes struggles with connection, and we explore the difference between cognitive and affective empathy, and how misunderstanding empathy in autistic people causes harm.Jen also opens up about the grounding, regulating role her two dogs play in her life - each meeting different emotional needs.In next week's episode, Jen covers early signs of her neurodivergent tendencies, how autistic burnout and perimenopause interact with each other, why she had to leave her pHD and how she's coping with life now that she has more answers.Follow Jen on Instagram @autistic_connections Book a 1:1 session with Ellie at ellieonthetelly.comSOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastLINKTREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we unpack decision fatigue and decision paralysis - why even simple choices can feel overwhelming for AuDHD brains. We explore how years of masking disconnect us from our instincts, leaving us frozen, second-guessing everything, and afraid to choose “wrong.” We share how paralysis has shown up in our own lives, and what’s actually helped. Paige also walks through her framework for rebuilding your life from the ground up when everything feels too hard to start.Book a 1:1 session with Ellie! ellieonthetelly.com - introductory rate of $30USD valid until Jan 31 2026.SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastLinktree Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re back for 2026! And we're starting off with an AuDHD debrief - funny holiday stories and what Ellie and Paige would do differently next holiday season. We also look ahead to what’s coming this year for WTF is AuDHD? - what we’re excited about, what we’re learning, and how we want to keep growing alongside this community.Plus, we dive into a nuanced and thoughtful discussion about Autistic Barbie - including your listener contributions. We discuss what it gets right, what feels complicated, and why seeing neurodivergent experiences reflected can be powerful. This also leads to a wider discussion on why representation matters so deeply - for everyone.Join us a for an easy, casual, welcome-back chat!SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastLinktree Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sarah (social worker, ADHD, OCD, PMDD and autistic) is back for more! In this episode we shift into language, identity, and the inner world of neurodivergence. Sarah reflects on her childhood as an undiagnosed AuDHDer, the anxiety that masked her ADHD, and elaborates on the different ways boys vs girls are treated.We explore dialectical thinking - the simple but powerful practice of using “and” instead of “but” - and why it’s especially transformative for neurodivergent people whose needs often conflict. Sarah also shares how her lived experience shapes her work in perinatal social work, and why finding community and personal joy isn’t really optional for neurodivergent people - it’s survival.Thanks for joining us this year! We really appreciate you. We'll be back Jan 20.Follow Sarah @neurodialecticalLinktree - find our online communities and register your interest for 1:1 sessions with Ellie in 2026 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're super excited to be joined by neurodivergent parent and social worker Sarah (@neurodialectical on Instagram), who shares how becoming a parent was the catalyst for her diagnoses - including autism, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and PMDD. We talk candidly about the sensory reality of parenting when your needs directly clash with your child’s, the rage and grief no one prepares you for, and why planning life around hormonal cycles can be helpful (if you can). Sarah also shares how she’s unlearning traditional parenting norms, prioritising autonomy over compliance, and raising her son in ways that protect his nervous system - even when it looks "unconventional". Sarah is super honest, raw and validating for any neurodivergent parent who’s ever felt overwhelmed, ashamed, or like they’re doing it “wrong.”Follow Sarah @neurodialecticalLINKTREE - join our Reddit, Discord and express interest in 1:1 sessions with Ellie in 2026 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Ellie's running on lack of sleep thanks to the Formula One race overnight, so we're chatting about sleep! We dig into why sleep is such a challenge for neurodivergent brains - from revenge bedtime procrastination to sensory overload to busy brains and chronic sleep debt. We share our own experiences and how lack of rest affects everything from emotion regulation to basic functioning. Join our Discord and Reddit! Links in our LinktreeInterested in a 1:1 session with Ellie in 2026? Register your interest ellieonthetelly.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content warning: in this episode we lightly touch on abuse, manipulation and sexual assault - between 37 - 40mins - proceed with care.In this episode we dive into one of the biggest neurodivergent struggles: boundaries. Why do so many AuDHD people become chronic people-pleasers? Why do we say yes when every part of our body is screaming no? Why do we only realise afterwards how we're actually feeling? And why does setting even the smallest boundary feel like we’re letting someone down?We chat about the link between neurodivergence and people pleasing, how RSD, masking and social survival instincts shape our boundaries (or lack thereof) and we candidly discuss how we're personally going with improving our boundaries.Want a 1:1 mentoring chat with Ellie? Express your interest here: ellieonthetelly.comJoin our Discord and Reddit - links in our Linktree Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re joined by Bayley Garnham - diagnosed dyspraxic and neuro-affirming Personal Trainer! Bayley shares his diagnosis journey, what dyspraxia can actually look like day-to-day, how dyspraxia affected him growing up and what inspired him into personal training.We chat about why exercise can vary depending on biological sex, why so many of us need movement but struggle to start, and how PTs can better support neurodivergent clients. Bayley also breaks down how he trains people with compassion, flexibility and zero shame.If you’ve ever felt intimidated by exercise, disconnected from your body, or you're unsure where to begin, this episode might be for you!Follow Bayley on Instagram (@bayleygarnham) or get in touch via email bayleygarnham@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we unpack the perfectionism cage - the invisible set of rules we build for ourselves as AuDHDers in an attempt to survive, succeed, or simply avoid judgement. We talk about how perfectionism showed up in our childhoods, how it morphs into procrastination and paralysis, and why so many of us cling to impossible standards even when they burn us out.JOIN OUR DISCORD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s not personal, we just literally forgot you existed. This week we dive into the concept of object permanence. We chat about why AuDHDers struggle to remember things, hobbies, goals and people once they’re out of sight, how it impacts friendships and daily life, and what we’ve learned about how to manage it.Vote for us for Listener's Choice at the NZ Podcast awards (if you want) HERESOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastLINKTREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For so many neurodivergent people, friendships can feel confusing, draining, or just out of reach. In this episode we open up about growing up lonely, the ache of wanting connection, and how RSD can destablise you from reality. We touch on a listener submission - should you tell your friends about your diagnosis? We also share how our dogs have helped us with being at peace in our own company and have also helped with our general motivation!Vote for us at the NZ Podcast Awards for Listener's Choice! VOTE HERE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Paige is back! If you've always secretly found travelling stressful and wondered why it looks so fun for everyone else - we see you. In this episode, we’re unpacking why holidays and travel can feel so overwhelming as a neurodivergent person. Freshly off the plane, Paige reflects on her recent trip and what accomodations she made for herself. We talk about why AuDHDers find travelling stressful and also reflect on some recent listener Reddit posts about perimenopause.VOTE FOR US (if you want) at the NZ PODCAST AWARDS for Listener's Choice! VOTE HERE.SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastLinktree Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What about the after part of ADHD diagnosis? Bree Tomasel joins us for a follow up chat about her diagnosis experience and feelings. Bree shares her experience with the weird limbo of diagnosis imposter syndrome, the long road to getting meds right (four years, no joke), and she shares advice and things she's learned that have helped her.Paige is back next week! Also, if you'd like to vote our podcast for Listener's Choice at the NZ Podcast Awards, you can do that here.SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast // LinktreeFollow @breetomasel Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The hilarious and wildly talented Bree Tomasel - broadcaster, creator, and late-diagnosed ADHDer - joins Ellie for a candid chat. Bree opens up about a lifetime of masking - not just her ADHD, but her anxiety and even her sexuality - and how she shaped her own career, while sometimes feeling 'dumb'. We hear about what she was like as an undiagnosed child and some of the early signs she now sees in hindsight. We talk about imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and how Bree channels her ADHD energy into sport and humour. Plus, Bree will be back next week for another chat where we debrief on life after diagnosis, self-acceptance, and what’s changed since learning she’s neurodivergent.Follow Bree: Instagram SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast LINKTREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy ADHD Awareness Month! Ellie is back with her partner Sam for another candid chat about life with ADHD, and life as an neurodivergent couple. This week we explore what we wish people knew about ADHD, why feedback is so crucial for us as ADHDers, and we share the ways we've learned to split responsibilities at home. We also talk honestly about why ADHDers can be so tough on themselves and answer some more of your listener questions. SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastWatch on YouTubeLINKTREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week’s episode, Ellie's ADHD partner Sam is back to share the story of their relationship - navigating conflict, emotional regulation, and yes, how they deal with intimacy. From being good friends and retrospectively noticing early signs of undiagnosed ADHD and AuDHD to how they’ve learned to grow together, they open up and celebrate the strengths that neurodivergence brings into their lives. It’s a candid and vulnerable look at what it means for Ellie and Sam to love and live as an ND couple, in the hopes of helping others feel seen when it comes to the trials and tribulations of finding love and a partnership.Join our private Reddit community!SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Paige is on holiday, so Ellie sits down with her partner Sam to talk about his journey with late-diagnosed ADHD. From childhood challenges and misunderstood behaviours, to the coping mechanisms he developed along the way, to the huge relief (and grief) of finally getting a diagnosis - we dig into what life looked like before and after. Sam shares how he found his career as a young social media star, why it helped him process his emotions pre-diagnosis and he opens up about struggling with emotional regulation. Next week we’ll chat with Sam again, and dive into what it’s like to navigate a relationship together as two neurodivergent people.SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastFollow Sam - @samjrmorgan (Instagram) Join our Linktree! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just like last episode, we're going through a common autism screener (Autism Quotient) and discussing the limitations of these questions (especially if you might be AuDHD). While tools like this can be a helpful first step, they also have major blind spots - especially around masking, nuance, and gender differences. We share the answers we gave in our actual screeners from a few years back and disuss why lived experience needs to be an important part of neurodevelopmental assessments. SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastLinktree Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’ve ever taken an ADHD screener and thought, “Well, that didn’t feel accurate…” you’re not alone! In this episode, we walk through the 18 questions you're generally asked in New Zealand, to work out whether you are "worth" further assessment for ADHD. We go through the screener, answer them as AuDHDers, and show why screeners don't always capture the full picture - especially if you’ve spent years masking, you've got trauma or other diagnoses. There are so many limitations to these screeners, and we hope this episode gives you more confidence in your interpretation of them.Here's the link to the screener we are referencing.SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastJoin our private Reddit community - link in our LINKTREEWatch on YouTube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.