Sila Connections

We use many techniques to motivate children toward positive actions and behaviors. However, when teaching young people to problem solve, we should make an intentional effort to establish ubudiya and train a child to make their intentions for Allah.  Knowing the practical benefits of our actions is helpful for young people. And understanding how our good deeds benefit others is a motivating factor. But establishing obedience at the onset makes a difference in how we are at our core, and creates a thought process that is beneficial throughout life.  In this episode, Fatima Quadri leads us to consider the beauty of putting Allah at the forefront of our minds from a young age.#IntentionalParenting #IslamicParenting #RaisingMuslimYouth #YouthDevelopment #Tarbiya #Ubudiyah #SincereIntentions #ParentingWithPurpose #FaithCenteredParenting #IslamicEducation #MoralDevelopment #RaisingRighteousChildren #MindfulParenting #YoungMuslims #SeekAllahsPleasure #NiyyahMatters #MuslimPodcast #ParentingPodcast #FaithAndFamily #SpiritualGrowth

“La yukallif Allah illa wus‘aha.” We won’t be burdened with religious duties that are too much for us to bear. Allah Most High has promised us that in the Quran. But sometimes our duties at home and within our families become too much, and those are religious duties too! Maybe it’s just juggling all the tasks needed to raise one’s kids right, or the harder challenge of staying in a bad marriage…If things are seeming just too hard to bear, what are we supposed to do?This episode discusses an important and often unrecognized principle. Since Allah has promised that He will not make you responsible for more duties than you can handle, and you are in a place where you can’t handle it anymore, it means there is a religiously acceptable alternative to your situation that you need to seek out and put into action.TEXT IN FOCUS:لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا“Allah does not tax any soul but what it can bear”(Quran, 2:286)TAGS:Being Responsible; Relationships; Seeking Advice; Taking On Too MuchJOIN USthesilainitiative.org⁠Telegram⁠⁠Youtube

Family, society and relationships are fundamentally determined by how we think about sexuality. When we change the way we think about the sexual aspect of the human being, it affects how we think about marriage, gender roles, and a host of other critically important social institutions.Due to its religious and political history, Western civilization only allows for one moral extreme or the other regarding sexuality: total abstinence or total indulgence. The abstinent, pro-celibacy stance of Christianity was the reason why Europeans historically always criticized the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ for being married and for his “love of women.” On the other hand, the sexual freedom of the contemporary West cannot accept the divine rules for appropriate sexuality that the Prophet embodied.In the midst of these extreme perspectives, modern Muslims must realize what a great blessing we have in the sexual model set for us by the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. He was not abstinent, nor did he objectify women. His fulfillment of human sexual need was in perfect alignment with the highest spiritual potential of the human being. The Prophetic model regarding human desire is the ultimate antidote to the confusion and imbalance we face today regarding sexuality.  This episode of the CONNECTIONS podcast discusses the contemporary relevance of the Prophet’s love of women, with specific reference to Dr. Fareeha Khan’s article “Sexual Responsibility and the Fulfillment of Desire” (available at thesilainitiative.org).TEXT IN FOCUS:“[Two] have been made beloved to me from this world of yours: women and perfume. And my true delight was made to be the Ritual Prayer.” (al-Nasa’i)TAGS:#SexualResponsibility, #IslamicSexuality, #theProphetsWives, #taqwa, #IslamAndWomen, #MuslimMasculinityJOIN USthesilainitiative.org⁠Telegram⁠⁠Youtube

It’s common to feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of things we carry on our plate. Surprisingly, a major source of simplification is a simple trick of the mind. When we shift focus, by making Jannah our goal and the Shariah our standard for personal assessment, things become a lot easier.TEXT IN FOCUS:أوجب عليك خدمته، وما أوجب عليك إلا دخول جنته“He has made obligatory for you His service. And he has not obligated anything for you except to enter His Paradise.” (ibn ‘Ata illah)TIMESTAMPS (AI generated):[to be aded]TAGS:#Jannah; #personal development; #moral compass; #Islamic guidance; #reaching Paradise; #heavenly pleasures; #life knacksJOIN USthesilainitiative.org⁠Telegram⁠⁠Youtube

There’s a lot of confusion and talk regarding masculinity these days. In Islam, masculinity is tied strongly to a man’s spending. There are Islamic guidelines for what and how a man should spend, and upon what and whom he should spend it. Doing it right makes him a man of real worth. With women claiming independence, and with religious practice becoming rigidly defined, it is harder for men to see a clear role for themselves as contributing members of society and family life. In this episode, we turn the conversation back to how important the spending of men is for the building of healthy individuals, families, and societies. TEXT IN FOCUS: “O son of Adam! Verily [the thing you should know about yourself is that] to spend on others [for the sake of Allah] is better for you, and to hold it is worse for you. You won’t be blamed for [holding onto what is] just enough. And begin in your charity with those you are responsible for to support. And the upper hand is superior to the lower hand.” (Muslim) TIMESTAMPS:2:25 The hadith on spending and withholding wealth4:10 The sins of not spending8:05 Using intention to make your spending count9:46 The special role of man as breadwinner11:47 The leader is the one who spends12:18 Spending incurs loyalty13:50 Holding onto “just enough” wealth16:20 Ordering one’s spending priorities18:02 Spending one’s wealth, time, life on others19:54 Is it wrong for women to earn and spend?22:41 Islam respects class difference26:22 Woman accepting the man’s financial planning28:31 Women being pushed to earn29:49 Today’s two income dilemma31:17 The subtle marital harms of poor financial planning32:55 Concrete aspects of proper planning and spending33:46 The spending of men’s time on kids34:47 The ability to spend more36:09 Receiving with obedience40:02 Marital agreement on making big money40:38 Hidden dangers to family iman in the mad pursuit of dunyaTAGS: Muslim masculinity, Islamic marriage, men as leaders, financial planning, raising kids

The rulings regarding inheritance within the Shariah are fixed and clear, but few Muslims today follow them. In this episode, we reflect on how the inheritance laws of Islam help keep families together, even after death.TEXT IN FOCUS:Narrated Sa'd bin Abi Waqqas (RA):The Prophet ﷺ  came to visit me in my sick illness in the year of the Final, Farewell Pilgrimage when the illness was intense [such that I thought I would die from it]. So I said, O Messenger of Allah, The pain has reached the degree that you can see on me, and I possess wealth. And nobody is my heir except my daughter. Shall I give two-thirds of my wealth away in charity? He said: No. A half? He said: No. Then he said, “[Give away] a third, and a third is a lot. For you to leave your heirs after you enriched and not in need is better than to leave them soliciting alms with their hands from other people. You don’t spend any expenditure by which you seek the Favor of Allah, save that you will have a reward for it, even [a morsel] you put in the mouth of your wife.Hadith related in BukhariTIMESTAMPS:0:00 Introduction0:33 Hadith of Sa’d bin Abi Waqqas3:40 Inheritance rules are fixed6:00 Weird inheritance case of Hollywood actor11:30 Inheritance laws differ across the US12:25 The impartiality of the Shariah14:10 Fixed shares and the one-third wasiyya16:05 Sinful to not follow Quranic inheritance shares17:35 Inheritance as Social Glue19:15 Receiving money softens the heart20:32 Your kin matters23:00 Supporting your family is sadaqa26:10 Gender and inheritance shares29:58 Daughters get half of sons32:00 Men falling short on duty34:00 Men who fulfill their duty38:25 Training sons from a young age44:20 Seek out sources to do inheritance rightTags:Islamic inheritancefamily bondsSadaqa

DESCRIPTION:Life is complicated enough as it is. Today’s emphasis on finding the “real You” just makes things even more stressful. Alhamdulillah as Muslims, we have a Prophetic legacy to rely on that gives us direction and helps us find meaning in even life’s most mundane tasks. By finding purpose beyond ourselves, we find relief and fulfillment, even when times look tough.TEXT IN FOCUS:عن كعب بن عُجرَةَ رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسول الله ﷺ :يَا كَعْبُ بن عُجرَةَ إِنَّهُ لَا يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ لَحْمٌ وَلَا دَمٌ نَبَتَا على سُحْتٍ، النَّارُ أَوْلَى بِهِ، يَا كَعْبُ بن عُجرَةَ، النَّاسُ غَادِيَانِ، غَادٍ فِى فَكاكِ نَفسِهِ فَمُعْتِقُهَا، وَغَادٍ فَمُوبقُهَا، يَا كَعْبُ بن عُجرَةَ، الصَّلَاةُ قُربانٌ، وَالصَّوْمُ جُنَّةٌ، وَالصَّدَقَةُ تُطفِئُ الْخَطِيئَةَ كَمَا يَذْهَبُ الْجَليدُ عَلَى الصَّفَاأخرجه ابن حبان في صحيحهOn the authority of Ka`b ibn `Ujra, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ  said, “O Ka`b ibn `Ujra: Flesh or blood that has grown on ill-gotten gain shall not enter the Garden. The Fire is more worthy of it. O Ka`b ibn `Ujra: All people set forth anew in the morn as either one of two types. One, in search of ransoming his self, sets it free [from the Fire], while the other destroys it. O Ka`b ibn `Ujra: Prayer is an offering to Allah, fasting is a shield, and charity puts out a misdeed just as snow disappears on rock.”Hadith related in Sahih Ibn Hibban, featured in Sila’s Legacies series on InstagramTIMESTAMPS:02:00 What is a ghadi?03:50 The desire to be unique05:00 Early morning construction workers07:50 Living among Muslims gives a sense of purpose9:45 What is your driving force?11:30 You’re not as free as you think13:45 True liberation15:00 The wondrous state of the believer18:00 Postmodernism and the individualization of meaning20:00 From confidence to incoherence22:10 Can male ulama understand women’s concerns?24:30 Why we distrust religious authority27:17 Eastern Muslim attraction to Western individualism28:44 The perspectival advantage of American Muslims30:55 Unified in purpose; diverse in form32:50 The only real need of the human being34:00 Unified purpose as antidote to contemporary anxiety#intention#postmodernism,#purpose of life

This episode offers the phrase “sexual responsibility” as a value-affirming alternative to the trending phrase “spiritual abuse.” When a community uses the phrase “sexual responsibility” to affirm that it upholds appropriate, Godconscious behavior for itself and its community members, it sends a statement that is clear, positive, and self-confident. On the other hand, when the phrase “spiritual abuse” is used, it indicates a defensive stance that begins and ends with under-confidence in our religious scholars, and ultimately in ourselves as a community. If our aim is to communicate our values regarding how men in positions of religious authority should act, we should do so in a way that does not indirectly call into question men and authority figures more generally.TEXT IN FOCUS:“Having such a culture of taqwa engrained into the practice of Islam in America would help the male scholars do right just as it would help women. There are, in fact, many ‘ulama in America who do take measures of taqwa when teaching and interacting with their female students...What is unfortunate, however, is that these measures do not match up with the current religious atmosphere in America. The ‘ulama are labeled as unaccommodating or extremist if they ask for such protective measures to be taken. We have to realize though that if such taqwa-centered practices are normalized, and are instituted from a place of wanting to please Allah, then everyone in the community will feel more confident to act according to the laws of God and to stand up for these laws when they are being violated.” –Khan, Fareeha, “Reconnecting with Our Scholars Upon the Plain of Taqwa,”

Loneliness plagues a lot of people today, and our social habits aren’t helping. But a good social life starts with the simplest steps. This episode focuses in on four, almost-too-simple-looking, tips for how to build a healthier social existence. When these prophetic tips are implemented, they help both the individual and the collective society get healthy and stay strong—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. TEXT IN FOCUS:أفشِ السَّلامَ،وأطعِمِ الطَّعامَ، وصِلِ الأرحامَ، وقُمْ باللَّيلِ والنّاسُ نيامٌ، وادخُلِالجنَّةَ بِسَلامٍ“Spread the greetings of peace, feed people, maintain ties of kinship, stand in prayer at night while others sleep, and enter Jannah thereby in peace.”– hadith related by Ahmad, to be featured in Sila’s Legacies series on InstagramTIMESTAMPS (AI generated, may have inconsistencies):[1:31] The four actions to enter Jannah mentioned in the hadith: giving salam, feeding people, maintaining kinship, and praying at night.[4:01] The importance of human (not virtual) interaction [6:31] The social structure in the hadith, from general greetings to more intimate family connections.[9:01] The significance of giving salam and its impact on social interactions.[12:01] Personal anecdotes about the power of salam in different contexts.[15:01] The role of feeding people in building community and maintaining relationships.[18:01] Challenges of hosting and feeding in modern times, especially for women.[21:01] The importance of simplicity and intention in hosting and maintaining social ties.[24:01] The role of family involvement in social gatherings and the benefits of including children.[27:01] The impact of social gatherings on community building and reducing loneliness.[30:01] The connection between social actions and personal worship.[33:01] Reflection on the hadith as a guide for social and spiritual practices.Tags:#loneliness #healthy_societies #social_SunnahsJoin Us⁠Telegram⁠⁠Youtube

This episode explores societal perceptions of aging, focusing on cultural differences between Western and Islamic perspectives. Key topics include the role of women as they age, the concept of khidma in Islamic culture, and the spiritual significance of aging. It also examines the impact of individualism on family dynamics and the challenges of self-reliance in old age.TEXT IN FOCUS:You have let yourself go. Youhave not refused the yearspolitely, firmly like an anorexicat a dinner party.(from “I Met A Woman Who Wasn’t There,” by Marge Piercy)TIMESTAMPS (AI generated, may have inconsistencies):[0:31]: Poem highlighting the unrealistic expectations placed on aging women[5:01] Western cultures emphasize youth and independence[10:01] Valorization of independence conflicts with the natural process of aging[12:00] The benefit of knowing old people [15:01] Khidma (service) brings about beauty and connection; the lack of this experience can affect one's perception of aging.[20:01] A spiritual perspective on aging [25:01 ] The impact of capitalism on family and agingTags:#aging #independence #khidmaJoin UsTelegramYoutube

This episode explores the role of emotional intelligence and vulnerability in marital relationships, using examples from the life of the Prophet Muhammad. Key topics include the balance of tenderness and firmness, the concept of 'Naz,' and the impact of modern individualism on vulnerability. The discussion emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space in relationships and the role of gratitude, respect, and affection in marriage. It also highlights the cultural transmission of behavior and the significance of role models in teaching appropriate gender behavior and social obligations. 00:00 - Introduction 01:30 - Headache hadith 05:00 - Aisha's vulnerability 10:00 - Concept of "Naz" (Urdu) 15:00 - Importance of emotional vulnerability 20:00 - The Prophet's ﷺ masculine response 25:00 - The Prophet ﷺ as husband 30:00 - Importance of role models 35:00 - Significance of social connections 40:00 - The richness of the Sunnah thesilainitiative.org