Dating Déjà vu

If your relationship feels stuck or your love life is on autopilot, this episode is your reset button. Christina walks you through 10 small but powerful relationship microshifts that can bring big results—fast.Whether you're dating, committed, or married, these simple yet science-backed strategies will help you:🩵 Feel more connected🩵 Communicate more clearly🩵 Build trust🩵 And bring emotional safety back to the forefront.Perfect for anyone wondering "How can I fix my relationship without therapy?" or "Why do I keep repeating toxic relationship patterns?"Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Why your relationship can't thrive if you're depleted00:42 – Press the reset button: Why microshifts matter01:16 – Microshift 1: Shift focus intentionally with positive interactions02:00 – Microshift 2: Express one sincere appreciation daily03:12 – Microshift 3: Use the 24-hour rule before addressing conflict04:16 – Microshift 4: Practice active listening & “I feel” statements07:12 – Microshift 5: Schedule weekly emotional check-ins08:15 – Microshift 6: Reignite connection with hugs and kisses09:31 – Microshift 7: Speak your partner’s love language… daily10:59 – Microshift 8: Own your part in conflict12:35 – Microshift 9: Show you’ve got your partner’s back14:09 – Microshift 10: Do something for you today15:36 – Start now: Pick one shift and change your love life today

Is your dating life stuck in a cycle of extreme highs and sudden ghosting? You might be trapped in all or nothing thinking. In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina unpacks the dangers of black-and-white thinking in modern dating and how it sabotages real connection.If you're constantly looking for red flags, obsessed with instant chemistry, or walking away too quickly when things aren’t perfect—this episode is for you. Christina shares relatable stories, helpful mindset shifts, and her viral 3-3-3 dating rule to help you move from fear-based dating to curiosity-driven connection.Tune in now! Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Welcome + Podcast intro 00:16 – Meet Christina Hathaway 00:25 – All or nothing thinking in dating 00:54 – How this mindset shows up in other areas of life 01:23 – Black-and-white thinking sabotages connection 01:47 – Christina’s personal example from high school 02:21 – What is all-or-nothing thinking? 02:49 – Extreme reactions and ghosting after good dates 03:22 – The fear behind rigid standards 03:37 – Examples of extreme thinking in dating 04:11 – Craving fast chemistry and intensity 04:43 – Labeling people too quickly 05:32 – Generalizing bad experiences 05:50 – Putting all your eggs in one basket 06:34 – Hurt becomes your whole reference point 07:03 – The illusion of control 07:20 – Vulnerability vs. protection 07:59 – Choosing curiosity over conclusions 08:27 – Questions to reflect on during early dating 08:44 – The 3-3-3 Rule for dating 09:08 – The power of slow burns 09:44 – Stop looking for reasons to leave 10:31 – Expecting uncertainty in relationships 10:43 – Christina’s personal love story 10:58 – Discomfort vs. protecting your peace 11:12 – The full 3x3x3 dating rule explained 12:07 – Avoiding infatuation cycles 12:21 – Wait for clarity before bailing 12:47 – Giving relationships space to grow 13:07 – Reflection: When have you bailed from discomfort? 13:44 – Identifying your extreme dating patterns 14:14 – Encouragement to stay in the gray 14:26 – Share, review, and support the show 14:56 – Final reminders

Being vulnerable in a healthy relationship can feel unsafe—especially if you've been burned before. But vulnerability is the key to building real emotional intimacy and connection. In this episode, Christina Hathaway, licensed marriage and family therapist, breaks down what healthy vulnerability actually looks like, why it’s not oversharing or trauma dumping, and how to express your truth without losing your identity.If you’ve ever struggled to say what you really feel, if you tend to merge into your partner or over-function emotionally, or if you're navigating relationships with old wounds, this episode is for you!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Vulnerability in healthy relationships can feel unsafe at first00:38 – Inspired by Matthew Hussey’s take on intimacy01:31 – Defining vulnerability: It’s not oversharing or codependency02:44 – The power of sharing truth without performance03:44 – Real-life example: Writing a note to her husband04:16 – Navigating boundary-setting early in dating05:03 – Language to honor boundaries while staying open06:11 – Don't confuse merging with intimacy07:49 – Staying present through discomfort and hormonal shifts09:26 – Healthy intimacy isn’t about safety all the time—it’s about discernment10:25 – Never weaponize someone's vulnerability11:55 – Allowing mutual emotional exposure in relationships13:00 – You don’t rush trust—you build it14:21 – Key questions to ask yourself when gauging emotional safety15:35 – What to do when you fear someone will leave after opening up16:11 – Final thoughts + call to share this episode

Are you constantly questioning your relationship, but can't quite explain why?In this episode, Christina breaks down 10 subtle yet powerful signs it's time to leave a relationship—even if there hasn’t been a dramatic breakup, betrayal, or obvious red flag. If you're stuck in confusion, this episode will give you the clarity—and permission—you need!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction02:20 – Why we tolerate “comfortable” relationships03:44 – 🚩 Sign #1: You’re constantly negotiating your needs down04:58 – 🚩 Sign #2: Your body feels more anxious than excited06:23 – 🚩 Sign #3: You’re walking on eggshells08:07 – 🚩 Sign #4: You’re clinging to potential, not reality09:41 – 🚩 Sign #5: Your boundaries are blurry11:12 – 🚩 Sign #6: You’re doing more emotional labor12:41 – 🚩 Sign #7: You need others to validate your feelings13:24 – 🚩 Sign #8: You no longer feel like yourself around them15:31 – 🚩 Sign #9: They love the idea of you, not the real you16:56 – 🚩 Sign #10: The idea of leaving brings relief, not fear18:44 – How to reconnect to yourself after walking away19:28 – Final thoughts + journaling prompts for clarity

Are you dating someone’s potential... or just their cowboy boots? In this spicy Love Island deep dive, Christina breaks down what Olandria’s journey teaches us about fantasy, red flags, and why holding on too long can cost us our peace.In this week's episode, Christina dissects the latest drama on Love Island USA—specifically the emotional rollercoaster between Olandria, Taylor, and Clark, and connects it to real-life dating patterns.If you’ve ever found yourself fixated on a type (hello, cowboy or baller!) and ignored the red flags just because the fantasy looked good on paper, this episode is your wake-up call. Christina helps listeners unpack the dangerous loop of romantic idealization and shows how to break free from dating déjà vu.Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction00:45 – Olandria & Taylor03:30 – Fantasy vs. Reality in dating athletes, cowboys, and “types”06:00 – What Taylor actually represents—and the red flags08:45 – Post-Casa Amor: How Taylor showed his true colors10:14 – Nick vs. Taylor: Real connection vs. performative affection13:20 – Disrespect on display: The “cowboy” falls off the horse15:01 – When we protect the fantasy more than our peace17:25 – Better questions to ask when stuck in romantic loops19:11 – Cowboy vibes vs. Cowboy values: Know the difference22:00 – A story about choosing the right kind of partner23:16 – The real fairytale? Truth, safety, and consistency23:53 – Final challenge: Are you chasing the wrong cowboy?

In this episode, Christina unpacks the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we change ourselves to be loved, wanted, or accepted. Are you healing and growing because you want to or are you unconsciously shifting to become more palatable for your partner?She dives into the difference between self-evolution and self-abandonment, explains the psychology behind shape-shifting in dating, and offers powerful self-check questions to help you reclaim your self-worth, authenticity, and voice in relationships. If you're tired of auditioning for love, this one’s for you.Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Introduction00:20 Meet Christina and the podcast00:31 Are you changing for you or for them00:53 Inspired by real client conversations01:11 People shrink themselves in relationships01:42 Self-growth vs self-abandonment02:15 Story of someone changing to please a partner03:05 Change rooted in validation doesn’t last03:50 The pressure to shape-shift in dating04:33 People silence themselves without being asked05:11 Acting feels heavy because it’s not real05:27 Growth feels expansive, protection feels tight06:04 Real change aligns with your values06:33 Would you stay this version if they left07:30 Childhood teaches us to adapt to be safe08:39 Dating becomes a performance for approval09:42 Validation-seeking leads to unhealthy change10:01 Real love doesn’t ask you to shrink10:45 Growth means setting boundaries and staying close to self11:34 Christina shares how healing changed her relationships12:23 Don’t shame your past self for surviving12:56 Heal your own holes to become whole13:29 Do you love yourself when you’re not performing13:44 Closing thoughts and clarity call invite

Love Island fans, let's talk!In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina dives deep into the messy (and frankly, uncomfortable) dynamic between Huda and Jeremiah from Love Island USA. Christina dissects what love addiction looks like in real-time, the psychological games at play, and how emotional manipulation, insecurity, and trauma bonding can destroy even the most passionate connections.Whether or not you watch the show, this episode is a must-listen for anyone who’s dated someone too fast, too soon, or felt stuck in a fantasy that turned toxic!Listen now!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Introduction01:11 Huda & Jeremiah: Too fast, too intense02:22 When the fantasy starts to crack04:00 Love addiction vs. real love05:32 Manipulating exclusivity06:43 Blocking connections out of fear08:30 Weaponizing motherhood09:57 Pancake fight = power play11:05 The “double bind” trap13:15 Signs of BPD & trauma18:54 America votes—and everything changes20:21 Final thoughts & listener reminder

Is your relationship starting to feel more like cohabitating than connecting? In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, therapist and relationship expert Christina Hathaway dives deep into the quiet crisis so many couples face: the shift from romantic partners to roommates. She breaks down why this happens, how to spot the signs of hidden loneliness in your relationship, and most importantly—what to do about it.Whether you're dating, married, or somewhere in between, this episode will challenge you to reflect, reconnect, and revive intimacy without relying on forced date nights or grand gestures.Listen now!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Intro00:49 – Are you feeling more like roommates than lovers?01:22 – The signs of "roommate energy" in relationships02:33 – How disconnection slowly creeps in03:49 – Mundane routines vs. meaningful connection04:49 – Loneliness inside a “functional” relationship06:27 – Christina’s honest personal reflections07:09 – “You can still be in love and feel alone”08:05 – No repair, no curiosity, no foreplay = disconnection08:57 – Over-functioning and bargaining: what we do when intimacy fades09:40 – Why polarity and tension matter in romantic connection10:39 – Reigniting without forcing it: “Name it, don’t blame it”11:19 – Micro-moments and rituals over grand gestures12:42 – Reclaiming your own energy and vitality14:08 – Ask better questions to get deeper with your partner14:56 – If you're the only one trying: disrupting the cycle15:41 – Coaching, counseling, and choosing intimacy16:41 – The truth about roommate energy—it’s not the end, but it’s a sign17:13 – You deserve to be chosen, not just tolerated17:24 – How to work with Christina + final message

In this episode, Christina gets brutally honest about what it actually takes to move on after a breakup without ghosting your feelings or glamorizing your ex. From the grief of “the future that never happened” to the shame spiral of the inner critic, Christina breaks down the real psychology behind heartbreak and why feeling your emotions is the most radical thing you can do.Whether you’re fresh off a split or still low-key stalking their Instagram, this episode gives you a step-by-step playbook to stop repeating patterns, reclaim your power, and reconnect to you.Hit play now!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Intro01:17 – Why this episode matters: The real breakup guide03:20 – Christina’s own breakup story: raw, messy, and transformational04:46 – The biology of breakups: dopamine, oxytocin, and chemical chaos06:02 – Coping or numbing? The traps of distraction07:08 – Your world is crumbling—and that’s part of the process07:42 – Inner critics, Judge Judy, and shame spirals09:41 – You don’t need validation to heal—reclaim your worth11:09 – What people think after a breakup (and why it’s BS)12:13 – Letting go of the fantasy future: reassign your loyalty to you13:33 – The reframe: It wasn’t “the one,” it was a clarifier14:37 – Breakup rules that actually work15:54 – The 90-second emotional wave: feel it to free it17:29 – No-contact, detox, and declutter: clean break strategies19:22 – Rituals, routines, and reclaiming your space21:04 – Your healing support crew: who to call and why

Is your love language still stuck in the 90s?In this episode, Christina breaks down the five original love languages and gives them the 2025 upgrade they desperately needed.We’re talking less about flowers and sweet texts, and more about safety, consent, intentionality, and presence. Christina shares personal stories and real-life examples to help you recognize how these love languages show up in today’s modern relationships and how they might be misfiring without you even realizing it.Tune in now!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:0:00 – Introduction01:04 – Why love languages need an upgrade for 202502:17 – Love Language #1: From "Words of Affirmation" → to "Words + Intentional Tone"04:00 – Love Language #2: From "Acts of Service" → to "Capacity Check-Ins"06:33 – Love Language #3: From "Quality Time" → to "Undistracted Presence"08:25 – Love Language #4: From "Physical Touch" → to "Safe, Regulated, Consensual Touch"10:59 – Love Language #5: From "Gifts" → to "Intentionality Over Expense"12:52 – Final Thoughts: Love languages shift—so should expectations13:33 – Outro

Could the role you played in your family growing up be sabotaging your relationships today?In today’s episode, Christina unpacks the hidden dynamics of family roles—those subconscious identities many of us assume in childhood to navigate dysfunction. These roles might’ve once helped us survive, but they often sabotage our adult relationships and self-worth.Whether you’re navigating healing, parenting with more intention, or just trying to understand yourself better, this episode is for you.If this resonates, don’t forget to follow and share! Every listen helps spread awareness and healing. Let’s break cycles together!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Intro01:38 – The root of dysfunctional family roles: survival and coping02:48 – The Hero: perfectionism and performance as protection04:13 – The Scapegoat: acting out the family’s hidden pain05:38 – The Lost Child: invisibility as a shield06:57 – The Mascot: using humor to diffuse tension08:17 – The Enabler: keeping the peace at a personal cost09:57 – How these roles can follow us into adulthood12:18 – Awareness as the catalyst for change13:33 – Breaking the cycle: naming, grieving, and healing15:10 – A message of hope: you’re not broken—you adapted16:05 – Outro

Not all therapy is created equal, especially when it comes to love, dating, and relationships. In this episode, Christina explores the most important red flags to watch for in dating and relationship therapists so you can protect your emotional well-being and get the support you deserve.Whether you're navigating a breakup, building better relationship patterns, or healing from past trauma, your therapist should be a safe, skilled, and supportive guide. Christina breaks down common signs that your therapist may be crossing boundaries, offering biased advice, or making your relationship issues worse—not better.If you've ever felt unheard, judged, or confused in sessions, this episode is a must-listen. You’ll walk away with clear insight on what to look for, how to advocate for yourself, and when it might be time to find a new therapist.Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Why therapist red flags matter in dating and relationship work02:41 Oversharing shifts focus away from you04:57 Judgment makes it hard to open up06:46 Being late or forgetful shows disrespect08:35 No challenge or too much critique isn’t helpful10:11 Friend-like behavior crosses boundaries12:24 Ignoring culture or identity is harmful14:48 Over-labeling overlooks your real story17:04 Trust your gut when something feels off18:36 Speak up or find a better fit20:26 You deserve a therapist who truly supports you

Is your new relationship post-breakup helping you heal—or hiding your hurt?In this episode, Christina dives deep into one of the most common (and confusing) post-breakup questions: is this new partner a rebound or a reset?Whether you're dating for healing, distraction, or connection, your post-breakup decisions shape your future relationships. Christina helps you reflect on your emotional readiness, shares why your nervous system might be pushing you to pair up too soon, and offers signs that you're ready to date again—with intention.Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro01:31 Why what you do after the breakup matters most02:06 Defining a rebound: Dating for avoidance, not alignment02:49 Grieving vs. numbing with novelty03:54 How unprocessed pain shows up in your next relationship04:34 Why we rush to replace: Attachment, wiring, and self-worth05:33 Distraction vs. decision: Why rebounds repeat your past06:30 Example from The Valley: Brittany’s post-divorce dating07:36 What a true reset looks like08:10 Emotional processing: Letting yourself feel and move through grief09:21 Dating for desire, not desperation10:10 Christina’s healing journey post-breakup11:07 When a rebound can become a reset11:42 Self-reflection questions to determine if it’s rebound or reset12:35 Healing must come before clarity and connection13:06 Outro

Can you be career-driven and still embody femininity in relationships? In this episode, Christina dives deep into the double bind faced by high-achieving women in the dating world. She unpacks how ambition, control, and performance can sabotage romantic connections, and how embracing softness doesn’t mean sacrificing power.This episode is a must-listen for all the ambitious, goal-oriented women who feel stuck in a cycle of overfunctioning, micromanaging, or attracting emotionally unavailable partners. You’ll walk away with mindset shifts, actionable insights, and a reminder: you don’t have to trade ambition for intimacy.Listen now!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Why ambitious women shrink or overfunction in dating.01:21 The struggle between being driven and staying feminine.02:42 The two extremes: leading with success or playing small.04:28 Balancing confidence without being seen as intimidating.05:21 Understanding masculine vs. feminine energy in love.06:49 A client story about micromanaging dates and its impact.08:18 Why dating should be about presence, not performance.09:43 How childhood conditioning fuels the need to prove.12:53 Why nervous system regulation is key to receiving love.14:04 The power of pausing before jumping into control mode.15:37 How to express your needs without overexplaining.17:33 Dating isn’t a performance review—it’s real life.

Are they gaslighting you or are you just misusing the term?In this episode, Christina breaks down two of the most misunderstood (and overused) buzzwords in modern dating: gaslighting and narcissism. With compassion and clarity, she explains how labeling every ex or situationship with these terms can be damaging. Not just to them, but to your own healing.Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Intro01:42 – Why we misuse dramatic terms to feel heard03:03 – Understanding emotional manipulation vs. conflict03:36 – What gaslighting really is (and isn’t)05:35 – The power imbalance and how low self-trust attracts manipulation06:54 – Gaslighting as a defense mechanism rooted in trauma08:12 – Clear example: Flirty behavior vs. real gaslighting09:53 – Core difference: invalidation vs. disagreement10:30 – Defining narcissism and the “better than” ego state11:44 – Narcissistic traits vs. clinically diagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder13:27 – Mislabeling every “toxic” partner waters down real red flags14:39 – The difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism16:00 – Grandiose vs. vulnerable (covert) narcissism explained17:59 – Why narcissists use martyrdom or emotional withdrawal to regain control18:33 – Questions to ask if you think you dated a narcissist19:51 – Owning your role in unhealthy dynamics20:45 – Gaslighting recovery: Rebuilding self-trust and clarity21:43 – How to speak your truth even after emotional invalidation22:32 – You don’t need a label to leave an unhealthy relationship23:14 – Outro

In this episode, Christina dives deep into the complex world of hookup culture, exposing the emotional toll behind the promise of "no strings attached" encounters.Episode highlights:🩵 Why casual sex might be leaving you feeling emptier than empowered🩵 How early exposure to sex can distort your relationship expectations🩵 The critical difference between being desired and being truly seenLet's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 - Intro03:04 - How Hookup Culture Sells a False Narrative05:19 - How Early Experiences Shape Sexual Perspectives07:15 - The Misconception of Physical Closeness09:18 - Why We Confuse Desire with Value12:00 - What Real Connection Actually Looks Like14:27 - Reflection Questions for Listeners

What really keeps a relationship strong? Spoiler: It’s not vacations, proposals, or grand romantic gestures. In this episode, Christina reveals the one thing that research shows sustains love in the long run: bids for connection.Listen now to learn what it means and how to recognize and respond to these small but powerful interactions that build lasting intimacy—and how ignoring them might be quietly eroding your connection.Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Intro01:37 – The real thing that sustains relationships: micro-moments02:41 – What are “bids for connection”? Explained with everyday examples04:28 – Client story: mistaking grand gestures for intimacy05:20 – Why grand gestures don’t guarantee real love06:44 – Real-life micro-moment examples from Christina’s marriage07:44 – Tiny repairs after conflict build trust08:55 – How helpfulness can become a powerful bid for connection09:17 – The erosion of love vs. the explosion: which one really ends relationships10:59 – Why we miss bids: phones, work, overwhelm, and emotional baggage11:39 – How to start recognizing and responding to bids13:01 – Reflection and journal prompt walkthrough14:08 – Final takeaway: The magic is in the moments14:25 – Outro and ways to connect online

Let's dive deep into the subtle yet powerful ways conditional love shows up in modern dating and how it may be sabotaging your relationships without you even knowing it. From “perfect girl” syndrome to confusing anxiety with chemistry, she breaks down how many of us learned early on that love must be earned, and how that belief plays out on Bumble, in our DMs, and even in long-term partnerships.Christina also shares vulnerable moments from her own life and client stories, illuminating the path to unconditional love: love that sees, holds, and accepts the real you—not the performance.This is your wake-up call to stop auditioning for love and start showing up as your whole, unfiltered self. Because if love feels like a prize you have to earn, it might be time to rewrite your script.Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast00:00 – Intro00:42 – Conditional vs. unconditional love01:25 – The invisible scorecard in dating02:21 – Swipe culture & performing for love03:31 – Self-help burnout & chasing "better"04:00 – Client afraid to express needs05:26 – “Perfect girl” syndrome05:42 – How childhood shaped your view of love08:20 – Anxiety vs. chemistry08:40 – What real unconditional love looks like09:26 – Personal stories of emotional safety11:08 – Love for who you are, not what you do12:09 – No fear of rejection = safe love13:18 – Masks vs. boundaries in relationships14:59 – Passion or panic?15:20 – Love is a birthright, not a prize16:05 – Spiritual source of unconditional love16:39 – Look for values, not performances18:04 – Conflict repair over perfection19:07 – Boundaries, needs, and being human20:13 – Journal prompts for reflection21:40 – Are you being chosen for you?22:23 – Subscribe, review, book a Clarity Call22:54 – Outro

Have you ever been in a relationship that looked great on the outside—but felt empty on the inside?In this episode, Christina dives into the quiet emotional detachment that happens long before a breakup. She explores why people start withholding sex, affection, or even updates about their lives—not as a form of punishment, but as a protective response when emotional needs are repeatedly unmet.Using Bravo stars Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover as a timely pop culture case study, Christina breaks down how emotional withdrawal shows up in real life, why people stay in these situations longer than they should, and how your body often leaves a relationship before your voice ever does.If you’ve been walking on emotional eggshells, this episode is a must-listen.Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction to “The Silent Drift”00:28 – Bravo reference: Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover00:55 – The drift begins with silence, not fights01:31 – Withholding starts when safety is lost02:27 – Withholding ≠ punishment; it’s a defense mechanism03:05 – Core emotional needs and how they show up in relationships03:56 – When needs stop being met and fantasy replaces connection04:19 – Paige’s emotional withdrawal from Craig05:16 – Christina’s personal story: success, guilt, and staying too long06:02 – Your body leaves the relationship before your words do06:39 – Manifesting the dream, but living in anxiety06:58 – The external picture vs. the internal experience07:14 – When the nervous system knows before the mind does07:38 – A new season of life can reveal a partner’s true character08:10 – Paige needed support, not projection08:29 – External stress reveals cracks in emotional connection08:44 – Signs of drifting: fantasizing about being alone09:30 – Christina’s story: suburbia, disconnection, and the wrong life09:59 – “I’m tired” often means “I feel invisible”10:21 – Therapy and being seen in your relationship10:48 – Feeling invisible when your partner minimizes your success11:08 – Sex should be connection, not performance11:31 – Withholding information because “they won’t get it”12:02 – Real-life example: casual lies to avoid emotional presence12:34 – When you stop fighting because you’ve given up12:59 – Mentor story: “I left with nothing. I was so done.”13:28 – It’s not too late, but it is time to tell the truth13:46 – Could Paige and Craig have fixed it with emotional accountability?14:22 – Questions to ask yourself if you're in the drift14:36 – What happens when you speak up—and they don’t hear you15:24 – Paige’s emotional transformation shown through her confessionals15:43 – What are you protecting yourself from?15:58 – Why aren’t you protecting your feelings?16:15 – The version of yourself the relationship forced you to hide16:34 – Red flag: Your partner can’t afford a ring and makes it your problem16:51 – Relationship coaching and therapy: where the real work happens17:03 – You can’t build intimacy while suppressing your truth17:21 – It’s time to be honest: Are your needs continually minimized?17:36 – When you're in the drift and already emotionally gone17:59 – It's okay to leave. Even if it’s late. Even if it’s messy.18:30 – Listen to your body—it’s speaking for your silenced self18:46 – Share this episode with the friend who needs to hear it19:00 – Support the show: Subscribe, review, and follow19:16 – Outro

Let's dive into the psychology and spirituality of manifestation. But this isn’t your typical “script it and sip your green juice” advice. Christina blends therapeutic insight with real-life strategies for healing your nervous system, rewiring your beliefs, and becoming emotionally available to yourself first. Whether you're tired of breadcrumbing, ghosting, or repeating dating patterns, this episode will help you break the cycle and manifest the kind of love you truly deserve!Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction01:03 – Christina’s story02:42 – Healing begins: therapy, journaling, and manifesting from the inside out03:34 – What she actually wrote in her journal05:09 – Why manifestation isn’t about scripting every detail of your future partner05:41 – You don’t attract what you want—you attract what you believe you deserve08:00 – The Reticular Activation System: your brain’s love GPS09:49 – Nervous system survival mode vs. calm, secure love11:56 – The first rule of real manifestation: emotional availability with yourself13:06 – Investing in love: the woman who paid $10k and got engaged15:17 – “You don’t have the headspace to love”—a tough truth from a client session16:26 – Drop the fantasy. Focus on mutual energy, clarity, and consistency17:27 – Gratitude shifts your vibration—and your dating outcomes18:48 – Living like the version of you who knows she’s worthy19:08 – Signs you’re truly ready to manifest a healthy relationship20:00 – How daily gratitude helps you attract real love21:05 – Final truth bomb: “You’re not being ignored—you’re filtering love through wounds”22:07 – Outro